DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 11/27/2006 Duedate: 12/09/2006 CALEAM ARENA DM-26 TURN-542 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS ENLIGHTENED BEING PHILANTHROPISTS (467) (26-4642) [13-4-0,100] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader ENLIGHTENED BEING GUARDIAN NAGA PHILANTHROPISTS (467) DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) (26-4642) [13-4-0,100] (26-4712) [1-0-0,20] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite GOLDERIE GOLDERIE GOLDEN CANYON (290) GOLDEN CANYON (290) (26-4657) [11-8-1,62] (26-4657) [11-8-1,62] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM GOLDEN CANYON (290) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) 71 2. PHILANTHROPISTS (467) 9 PHILANTHROPISTS (467) 3. GOLDEN CANYON (290) -1 Unchartered Team DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 0*DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) 5 0 0 100 1/ 1 GOLDEN CANYON (290) 10 5 0 2/ 1 PHILANTHROPISTS (467) 35 24 0 59.3 2/ 0*DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) 5 0 0 3/ 2 GOLDEN CANYON (290) 515 695 20 42.6 3/ 2 PHILANTHROPISTS (467) 4 3 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank SPY REPORT It's me, The Unknown Spymaster here with my bag to give you the news on last week's fights. Don't these new hotshots make you sick (or, if they fought you, hurt)? DOC LEGRAND'S LAB, on their very first turn, went 5-0-0. Hey everybody, watch out for GUARDIAN NAGA, who flew up 20 points in the rankings after mashing TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE like a melon. Keep your eye on this beast. Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands. LORIS KEY was bested by NOBLE ASSASSIN and drops 8 points. Going for the gusto and coming up with aught but bloody knuckles was CALEAM's KUNG-FU MASTER, who was turned away from the Duelmastership by ENLIGHTENED BEING. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps T.P.s at bay. Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the CALEAM arena. Death is kind of like a new puppy: he's always around wanting to play. (Ha Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?). Ask not the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no. Silly buggers, eh? Well, there's the manager of the CALEAM giving me the 'cut' sign (or is that 'They're going to strangle you in the alley?). C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some tracks. Its been real, and its been fun, but it hasn't been real fun...-- The Unknown Spymaster DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME ENLIGHTENED BEING 4642 13 4 0 100 PHILANTHROPISTS (467) CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME GOLDERIE 4657 11 8 1 62 GOLDEN CANYON (290) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME CLEMMIE 4630 12 14 1 56 GOLDEN CANYON (290) LORIS KEY 4706 7 1 1 56 GOLDEN CANYON (290) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME MAUREEN 4702 6 4 0 33 GOLDEN CANYON (290) PLEXIGLASSJAWJOE 4650 6 4 0 30 PHILANTHROPISTS (467) -ORTH 4643 6 3 0 27 PHILANTHROPISTS (467) -SMAYNURN 4656 6 3 0 25 PHILANTHROPISTS (467) IRON FORGE 4707 3 4 0 25 PHILANTHROPISTS (467) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME GUARDIAN NAGA 4712 1 0 0 20 DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) TIMBER RATTLESNAKE 4710 1 0 0 15 DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) IVORY IGUANA 4714 1 0 0 15 DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) PIKE 4708 3 4 0 14 GOLDEN CANYON (290) SPECKLED GECKO 4711 1 0 0 13 DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) SCARLET SKINK 4713 1 0 0 8 DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? PERSONAL ADS I wish it to be clearly understood, that I have never and do not now nor ever will invite an orc to visit. Everyone knows, from dire experience since the arena crew was augmented by one, that orcs are voracious beyond all other races. It is impossible to fill their bellies, they have gastrointestinal black holes. I did attempt a gastrointestinalectomy, but I fear the Infirmary has undone my good work. -- Loris Key I note that the Ruthless Jaywalker is Delarquan. It figures. -- Clemmie P.S. Why has nobody run over this fiend with a beer wagon? I would love to see him smashed between the cobblestones. Then we could call him Ruthless Grout. Once again we see the stingy Merchant with Dubious Business Ethics. I suppose I can stand to fight him, even if he is so ungenerous with skills, but what I do NOT understand is why he is allowed thirteen days every fortnight to continue to do "business" in this town? -- Golderie Iron Forge -- I still think you'd make a great dwarf. Of course, you would have to grow a beard, and I have been told by some men who have them that they itch. I suppose an itching chin would be a negative factor. But think of the protection a good beard could provide for your throat! -- Maureen On the whole, I think a lot of the Shiftyeyed Volunteer's problems come from his inability to look directly at the target he is supposed to be aiming for. Not that *I* mind, but it just struck me in passing. Which is more than HE did. -- Pike Ed. -- Sarcasm-senses need exercise to remain healthy and alert. -- Clemmie I hardly think there's any danger of mine atrophying. -- Ed. 2 November 2006 I received a Gift Certificate from someone. I'm assuming it's for entry into the Turf War 5. Whoever sent this to me...please email me at email@example.com. Thanks. 10 November 2006 The Quest of the Best has come to an end. Dark Knight Toker, host of the Quest, wants to proclaim the Ultimate Victor and give a listing of prize winners. Lady Fern and her Flower Girls of the Consortium are the Ultimate Victors of the Quest. Well fought and there's nothing like coming from behind to leave us all in the dust. Can't wait to see you defend your title! (wink) Here is a complete list of managers who placed in prize positions: 1) Lady Fern, mgr. Flower Girls 2) Le Pentarque, mgr. Blood & Guts! 3) Crip, mgr. Otto's Parts 4) D.K. Heathen Hatebred, mgr. Odin's Chosen 5) Ghab, mgr. Assassin Nation 6) Fanthayne, mgr. Dark Raiders 7) D.K. Toker, mgr. Silver Knights 8) D.K. Wasby, mgr. Bronze Knights 9) The Expatriate, mgr. Bleak Legion 10) Still the Distilled, mgr. Springborne Fair Thanks to all that had the gall to show up, but I really want to thank the managers that had the mettle to survive and not run when they started getting their butt handed to them. Respect to All. Quest #1 host, Dark Knight Toker 14 November 2006 A Tale of Fusion Confusion Delusion Revolution as told by Hammer the WordSmith SomeWhere Beyond ElseWhere and ElseWhen a hooded figure brooded upon the lingering wisps of memory from days gone by. From the howling sands to the sanding howls the streams of thought bubbled and flowed, winding endlessly entwined within the darkest recesses and lightest resources of the learned and unlearned disciplines of managerial mayhem and manipulation. Nameless faces and faceless names floated in the swirling mists of madness embalmed within the memories of one who knew he did not know how far reaching the influences [both positive and negative] had rooted and flowered in the march of time and energy expended in the historical markings of gladiatorial essence and excellence experience. The tamed and the untamed coupled with the named and the unnamed resources that spilt their sweat and blood on the sands of arenas both known and unknown had metamorphosed into the dreamings and the schemings of the fadings of jadings and paradings [in both public and private] amongst the elite and the indiscreet posturings and babblings of managers becoming legends in their own minds and times. Hammer pondered upon beginnings and the seemingly endless myriad of endings possibly possible among the interspersed and intertwined impossible possibilities presently past and future. Echoing and reechoing in the vast depths and countless compartments along the corridors of his mind, Hammer played and replayed the glories shared and dared in the sixty-plus stabled arena on fabled Noblish Island DM 93. The training had been all too brief, but the competition generated by the multi faceted personages inhabiting DM 93 and the sheer multitude of numbers had forever instilled themselves in the heart and soul of the veteran manager [Hammer]; insomuch that the migration to Niatoli Island DM 33 triggered the desire to emulate the glory and the grandeur of the spectacle of stables vying for recognition from among the virtually numberless no-name newbies making names for themselves as they numbered their stables and accomplishments for all to see and behold, to the song and the sound of the sight of clashing cold cruel steel simmering the flesh of gallant gladiators consumed by the gory and the glory of crossing blades with the superior and the inferior within the interior of Greywand's Global Gladiatorial Galaxy. Far far ago and long long away had many abandoned hope for a return to the reminiscences revered by so many managers; predating even the generations of gladiators graduating from Noblish Island and the years of yore and gore and gallantry before. Rumblings and mumblings of a renovation rejuvenating the reflexes of managers numbed by the numberless trysts of tourney tarnished stables began revolutionizing the very fabric of time and space and time-honored tradition throughout the ranks of visionary newbies and volatile veterans alike and dislike. History was being shaken to the core of the gore as glory and grandeur responded to the revelry reverie revelations and reveille revolutionizing the creation of a new arena in the making; populated by No-Tourney Warriors and Full Stable Participants pledging to forge a new vision version of "The Fiercest and Best" for crossing blades and crosser banter in the personal ads and team spotlight tomes. Now was the time for Hammer to emerge and once again merge his talent among the gifted and grifted; answering the call to assemble the drifted [and to directly divulge and converge with the dozens] for the destiny of destructive denizens determined to build a new legacy upon the all-but-forgotten ashes of the old and olden legends of times lost. [TIME JUMP] Hammer sifted the sands in the dead of night in the desert reaches [located SomeWhere BeYond ElseWhere and ElseWhen] to discover 5 gladiators not tourney worthy, yet interesting enough to begin their careers in a No-Tourney Arena! "They need not be dispatched to the Dark Arena," the veteran manager mused as he sorted through paperwork long discarded and vaguely forgotten, "because there is nothing like a good Blood Feud to provide inspiration for writing personal ads in the arena newsletter! Besides, there are times when the replacement for a warrior wounded mortally on the arena sands fares much better than the one exchanged from Torch Light!" Fights by Torch Light were certainly deemed unnecessary as Hammer had already deduced that a number of determined stables would undoubtedly congregate with High Octane Warriors under the guidance of Higher Octane Managers to populate and depopulate the new No-Tourney Arena currently under construction in DM 81. Fortunately his feeble foray into the desert would yield somewhat suitable candidates for the newfound purposes Hammer had in mind. From among the candidates to be found Hammer would be rewarded in time by BLOODFEUDS and REPLACEMENT WARRIORS aplenty! Deep into the night Hammer searched and searched until five not-so-promising stables were uncovered in the waning hours before dawn. Ripper discards were scattered far and wide, but this was not the time or the hour to let sentimental views cloud the issue at hand. Future events would lend themselves to a suitable Ripper replacement, especially with the prospects Hammer was now sorting for his selection decision to dispatch to the Gladiatorial Commission for processing. Most managers have the luxury of selecting the best group [or discarding the worst group!] Hammer had the novelty of rounding up the castaways from the New Stables paperwork accumulated long ago from Maximillian's Morya Madness contest in DM 28 that were deemed below inferior as contest prizes [and thus banished from sight!] Hammer scrutinized and agonized over which group of gladiators were worth the sacks of gold coins he was prepared to release to the Gladiatorial Commission for fees to MAINTENANCE his new stable in the No-Tourney Arena. After what seemed like long hours passing by, Hammer discarded one and then another group of hopefuls. After lengthy debate a third was cast aside. Deciding between the final two groups found Hammer going back to interview the rejected candidates time and time again [until a final decision was made that Hammer could live with and his new stable could die with!] before the final quirks were hammered out and pen put to paper to process the prospective puny stable with the Gladiatorial Commission. The only solace gained from the painful process was the knowledge that other managers would be less tempted to run stables in DM 81 populated by their tourney- worthy warriors [under the penalty of death imposed and enforced upon tourney experienced gladiators by the Committee being formed to police and regulate such matters!] as sworn to and signed in good faith by each registering manager. [TIME JUMP] Hammer had worked long and hard to find suitable candidates for his stable and now it was time to begin their training. The paperwork had been dispatched for registration with the Gladiatorial Commission and now was the hour in which preparation was paramount! Dispatch riders had arrived with the news that Considerable Bounty was being offered as incentive rewards to those managers sending new stables to the No-Tourney Arena. Hammer realized this would Up the Ante [causing greater pause in the managerial community for selecting suitable stables!] as the creative competition was certain to escalate and produce Serious Sword Slinging Stables Staining the Arena Sands Red! Obviously a serious upgrade in the quality of competition migrating to the No- Tourney Arena in DM 81 would definitely work in favor of Hammer; enormously increasing the death toll percentage potential amongst the ranks of his new start-up stable in DM 81 [Sands Running Red and Blood Feuds Running Rampant as Undoubtedly Expected!] Hammer observed the futility of his new warriors training [as well as they could for what they were made from!] while recent memories came to the forefront of his mind! When the paperwork was nearly completed and names were selected for each Gladiator, Hammer decided to name the stable according to what he had discovered in the darkness while searching during the dismal hours of the desert night. These warriors would probably be more well suited to fight by Torch Light had they fallen into the possession of most other managers! Paper Warriors better suited to confronting Dark Arena Monsters [rather than being fed to the Gladiatorial Lions certain to be populating the regular No-Tourney Arena!] Specimens blatantly better suited for feeding upon agitated armadillo ants than for striving to attain recognition and fame in the No-Tourney Arena [or any arena!] Thus was AARDVARK HAMMERZ birthed and born for Greatness or Disgrace! [TIME JUMP] Dispatch riders on winged steeds brought the news Hammer had been awaiting! Not since the days of training on Noblish Island in DM 93 had Hammer encountered such collective enthusiasm for crossing blades in a selected arena such as DM 81 [recalling the time Hammer generated a gathering of newbies to transfer to Niatoli Island in DM 33 to match wits and cross blades with the assembling veterans upon graduation!] The Consortium had represented the veterans well in DM 33 with the SWEETNESS stable managed by Sweety Pie. Now the good news had arrived that The Consortium was seen registering a stable named LIFE IMPACTS in the No-Tourney Arena! Former alliance mates Darque and Kat had reportedly registered DARQUE AGES and KATHOUSE with the Gladiatorial Commission. Morya Madness combatant LePentarque from DM 28 had registered LA PENTARCHIE and longtime fixture Drake in North Fork DM 47 [recently returned from a lengthy hiatus] had been lured by the competition to register DRAKE'S HARDWARE. Deke [at the helm of DOC LEGRAND'S LAB] was instrumental in promoting the No- Tourney Arena by repeatedly negotiating terms with the Gladiatorial Commission. Others had laid the groundwork before him, but Deke raised the banner and carried it the final distance [Supported by Countless Managers too numerous to mention!] Salute Yourselves for Your Efforts are Most Graciously Applauded throughout Alastari! Apex had signed in with CAROLINA BLUE as had Ghab with ASSASSIN NATION. Another familiar name was found on the rolls as DeGotti registered CULT OF BACCHUS followed by DOOM KNIGHTS managed by Blackstorm. Also on the rolls to be noted were AS SEEN ON TV II managed by Indimar and RAGNAROK'S WOLVES by none other than ragnorokwolf. Nomad had signed on with PHANTOM REGIMENT and Silas followed suit with GRIFFONRAWL MMA. Another notable signature was that of MasterBeru with CHILDHOOD HEROES and a penchant for scribing Team Spotlights [A Plus in Any Arena!] Detective Kellumbo had followed the clues and was observed enroute to registering a yet unannounced stable [such are the ways of sleuthhounds and such!] Rumor had it that the manager known as Roadkill was on his way to register a stable after his namesake and Slugbait was close behind [obliviously lost in thought!] Finally [in no particular disorder!] managers Grimm, Woody, Terminator, Den and Bill were also seen elbowing their way through the gathering registration crowd to officially announce their participation in the No-Tourney Arena. COUNTLESS OTHER MANAGERS were known to be pondering the consequences of sending stables to a No-Tourney Arena and had yet to make the commitment public knowledge as to their intentions. Howbeit the Gladiatorial Commission was reportedly swamped with requests for New Stable Registration Forms [whether for the Tempe Facer or No-Tourney Arena was anybody's guess at the present time!] Judging from the furtive figures darting and ducking in the shadows and alleyways throughout Alastari [as well as those huddled in taverns or communicating with one another by various means available!] the success of such a No-Tourney Arena was Ballooning far Beyond the Expectations of the Promoters and Petitioners Bar None! HAMMER WAS UNDERSTANDABLY ENTHUSED BEYOND MEASURE BECAUSE the No-Tourney Arena had the Best Potential for attracting and assembling a congregation of competitors rivaling the numbers of Noblish Island from days gone by! JANUARY 2007 MARKS THE BEGINNING of a Journey where both Newbies and Veterans join together in a Historic Assemblage Celebrating the Crossing of Blades between some of the Best Managed Stables in all of Alastari [Known and Unknown!] "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper" Hammer Minister of War LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS ENLIGHTENED BEING devastated KUNG-FU MASTER in a 1 minute mismatched Title fight. LORIS KEY was vanquished by NOBLE ASSASSIN in a 1 minute uneven battle. GOLDERIE savagely defeated RUTHLESS JAYWALKER in a action packed 3 minute fight. CLEMMIE devastated PLEXIGLASSJAWJOE in a 1 minute brutal one-sided fight. MAUREEN was bested by RUTHLESS JAYWALKER in a 1 minute brawl. IRON FORGE won victory over PIKE in a 5 minute bloody fight. TIMBER RATTLESNAKE overpowered POLITE BEGGAR in a 1 minute mismatched brawl. SPECKLED GECKO overpowered SHIFTYEYED VOLUNTEER in a 1 minute uneven melee. GUARDIAN NAGA vanquished TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 1 minute uneven duel. SCARLET SKINK defeated FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a 1 minute beginner's duel. IVORY IGUANA defeated TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 1 minute novice's fight. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |LUNGING ATTACK 4 AIMED BLOW 10 - 1 - 2 91 | |PARRY-LUNGE 3 STRIKING ATTACK 8 - 1 - 0 89 | |SLASHING ATTACK 1 LUNGING ATTACK 16 - 3 - 0 84 | |STRIKING ATTACK 1 SLASHING ATTACK 7 - 4 - 0 64 | |BASHING ATTACK 1 PARRY-LUNGE 15 - 12 - 0 56 | |WALL OF STEEL 1 TOTAL PARRY 17 - 20 - 0 46 | |AIMED BLOW 1 BASHING ATTACK 6 - 10 - 0 38 | |TOTAL PARRY 1 WALL OF STEEL 4 - 7 - 0 36 | |PARRY-STRIKE 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 - 0 0 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 - 0 0 | Turn 542 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: LUNGING ATTACK 4 - 0 PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 2 3 TOTAL PARRY SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 0 AIMED BLOW 0 - 1 2 LUNGING ATTACK STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 0 2 PARRY-LUNGE BASHING ATTACK 1 - 0 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 1 BASHING ATTACK WALL OF STEEL 1 - 0 TOTAL PARRY 0 - 1 1 AIMED BLOW 1 WALL OF STEEL 1 STRIKING ATTACK TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME LUNGING ATTACK ENLIGHTENED BEING 4642 13 4 0 100 PHILANTHROPISTS (467) PARRY-LUNGE GOLDERIE 4657 11 8 1 62 GOLDEN CANYON (290) AIMED BLOW LORIS KEY 4706 7 1 1 56 GOLDEN CANYON (290) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is GOLDERIE 4657. The most popular warrior this turn was GOLDERIE 4657. The ten other most popular fighters were PIKE 4708, IRON FORGE 4707, ENLIGHTENED BEING 4642, CLEMMIE 4630, TIMBER RATTLESNAKE 4710, GUARDIAN NAGA 4712, SCARLET SKINK 4713, IVORY IGUANA 4714, PLEXIGLASSJAWJOE 4650, and SPECKLED GECKO 4711. The least popular fighter this week was MAUREEN 4702. The other ten least popular fighters were LORIS KEY 4706, SPECKLED GECKO 4711, PLEXIGLASSJAWJOE 4650, IVORY IGUANA 4714, SCARLET SKINK 4713, GUARDIAN NAGA 4712, TIMBER RATTLESNAKE 4710, CLEMMIE 4630, ENLIGHTENED BEING 4642, and IRON FORGE 4707.