DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 02/19/2007 Duedate: 03/03/2007 CALEAM ARENA DM-26 TURN-548 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS CAP'N CRUNCH STEEL CRUSADE (477) (26-4724) [11-4-1,95] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader CAP'N CRUNCH IVORY IGUANA STEEL CRUSADE (477) DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) (26-4724) [11-4-1,95] (26-4714) [4-1-0,36] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite GOLDERIE MAUREEN GOLDEN CANYON (290) GOLDEN CANYON (290) (26-4657) [14-11-1,85] (26-4702) [11-5-0,54] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM GOLDEN CANYON (290) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. GOLDEN CANYON (290) 16 2. DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) 9 GOLDEN CANYON (290) 3. PHILANTHROPISTS (467) 0 Unchartered Team 4. MEDAL OF HONOR VI (468) 0 5. STEEL CRUSADE (477) -1 DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 1*DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) 17 8 0 68.0 1/ 1 GOLDEN CANYON (290) 11 4 0 2- 2*MEDAL OF HONOR VI (468) 4 2 0 66.7 2/ 3*DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) 6 4 0 3- 3 PHILANTHROPISTS (467) 39 27 0 59.1 3/ 2 STEEL CRUSADE (477) 4 6 0 4/ 4 GOLDEN CANYON (290) 535 705 20 43.1 4- 4*MEDAL OF HONOR VI (468) 1 0 0 5/ 5 STEEL CRUSADE (477) 101 139 6 42.1 5- 5 PHILANTHROPISTS (467) 1 2 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank TEAM SPOTLIGHT ~~~~~~~~ The Penance ~~~~~~~~ In the back room of the "Twisted Lemming", Cassius Calvata tossed the waitress her tip, then began passing around the drinks. "What are we doing here, Cassius?" asked Sven. "It isn't very smart to be drinking before the fights, you know." "That won't be a problem, Sven," said Calvata. "We aren't fighting today. That's why I called you all here." As one, the group raised a cry of protest, which Calvata silenced with a wave of his hand. He looked at each gladiator in turn, then with a sigh, began speaking, "We won't be fighting because the couriers refused to carry our entries to the Commissioners." "I don't get it," said Caylon, "Why would the couriers refuse to carry messages? Isn't that what couriers do?" "Normally," said Calvata, "but it seems the couriers are all followers of the god Usmail, and when they got wind of the Cap'n's latest culinary adventure, they said we had offended their god and wouldn't touch my parcels. I even offered to pay more than the customary 39 shekels, but it was nothing doing. So here we are." "Culinary venture? Swizzle, I told you that cook off business would lead to trouble," Sven glared at his team-mate. "What have you done now?" "Nothing that I know of," stammered Cap'n Crunch. "All I did was to prepare a lovely dish of snails in garlic butter for Golderie. I was just trying to let her know that I wasn't mad at her for taking over as Duelmaster. Golderie likes garlic." "That's the problem," said Calvata. "Seems that the snail is the sacred bug of Usmail. Those couriers are plenty upset. The high priest is demanding that the whole team do penance by groveling around in some dung-heap on the outskirts of town." "They're not bugs; they're mollusks," sniffed Swizzle. "Doesn't matter," said Calvata matter-of-factly, "I told the big guy we'd be there at dawn." "What!" shouted Calonymus. "How come if the Cap'n here did the deed, we all gotta do penance?" "When it comes to angry gods, I don't take chances," declared Calvata. "Consider it a team-building exercise...good for morale. Besides, boys, I'm already working on a back-up plan. Drink up and meet me in the morning. My secretary, Delores, will give you the directions." As the sun began to creep over the eastern hills, the five gladiators reluctantly assembled on the rim of a huge compost heap on the outskirts of Caleam. Calvata was already present, along with an ornately clad stranger. "Boys, this is the high priest of Usmail. He'll be directing the penance," said Calvata. The stranger puffed himself up to his full height. "You have offended the great god Usmail. Your offense can only be cleansed through the ritual of atonement. When the sun reaches meridian, you must grovel in the sacred mire until Usmail sends me word that he grants his forgiveness." The high priest turned toward the reeking heap and began chanting an incantation to Usmail while the team looked on aghast. "Hey, Calvata...I hope that back-up plan kicks in pretty soon," whispered Caylon. "I don't like the way this is shaping up." Before Cassius could answer, a shrill shout cut through the chill morning air. "Oh Mister Calva-a-ata! I've got it Mister Calvata!" Calvata's secretary, Delores, came puffing up to the group, waving a parchment. "This is what I've been waiting for, boys," said Cassius. "Let me look at that Dolores." Calvata took the parchment and scanned it quickly. "Okay your highness. The penance is over. I have word here from Brother, the high priest of Fax, god of the lightning quill, that Fax has mediated on our behalf. Usmail is assuaged," stated Cassius, handing the parchment over to the high priest. The high priest of Usmail grumbled under his breath, gathered up his raiment, and glowering, stomped off. "Whew! That was close," said Caylon. "How'd you pull it off, Cassius?" "Two hundred shekels buys a lot of forgiveness, boys," smirked Calvata. The Cap'n's eyes grew round. "Two hundred shekels is more than the bonus I got for being Duelmaster!" "Yeah," said Calvata, "but you guys are worth it...I guess. Tell you what. You all take the day off, and meet me tonight at the "Twisted Lemming". Dinner and drinks on me. You too, Delores." "Anything for *you*, Cassius," swooned Delores, fluttering her eyes at her boss. "Oy," groaned Calvata. "Hey, where's Up-Chucky, by the way?" Delores tapped her boss on the shoulder. "Look out there, Mister Calvata." The whole group turned to look out into the muck where Delores was pointing. The missing warrior was rolling in the mire, hurling great gobbets into the air, and giggling uncontrollably. Calvata sighed. "You can't take that boy anyplace. Swizzle, you started this, so your job is to bring him in." Cassius chuckled. "Guess you're doing penance after all. See you boys tonight. Let's go Delores." DUELMASTER'S COLUMN Notes from the arena champ. The Noble Assassin? You're kidding me! What can I do with a Noble Assassin? Yes, I know, a very rich and potent brandy, but-- Oh. Hmm. Smaynurns Flambe, in a sauce of Noble Assassin Brandy vintage 436. Yes...that might do it. Expensive, but if it works, hang the cost! And it's bound to be impressive to watch. It never hurts to play to the audience. Golderie SPY REPORT So why do I have this bag over my head? Because I am The Unknown Spymaster and I'm going to give you a spy report!. Hey everybody, watch out for LORIS KEY, who flew up 20 points in the rankings after mashing CAYLON MCCANN like a melon. Keep your eye on this gal. Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands. CAYLON MCCANN was beat by LORIS KEY and drops 18 points. In front of all the crowds, CAP'N CRUNCH took the Duelmaster's crown for his own. I give the bum two weeks. Advice to bashers--never force anything, just get a bigger halberd! Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the CALEAM arena. Did you hear that GOLDEN CANYON was most avoided team this week? Well, knowing the personal hygiene of GOLDEN CANYON's warriors, I'm not surprised! Okay, so I may not be funny, but catch STEEL CRUSADE's act in the arena. Those acrobats seem to be fairly deft at running from GOLDEN CANYON. And who is this MAUREEN you ask, with 54 points and a 11-5-0 record. Ooh, the tales I could tell! Being a spy is great--other people die and you spend the rest of the day drinking to their memory. Better tanked than dead! Remember: alliances are great, but try and take your ally in the arena with you and see what happens. I think I had better cut this one short. It's been nice chatting to those of you whom I have not offended yet. C'mon, Leadfoot, let's make some tracks. See ya next time I'm on this circuit!-- The Unknown Spymaster DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME CAP'N CRUNCH 4724 11 4 1 95 STEEL CRUSADE (477) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME SVEN BLUETOOTH 4729 17 32 0 92 STEEL CRUSADE (477) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME GOLDERIE 4657 14 11 1 85 GOLDEN CANYON (290) LORIS KEY 4706 11 3 1 80 GOLDEN CANYON (290) CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME CLEMMIE 4630 16 16 1 65 GOLDEN CANYON (290) CAYLON MCCANN 4728 12 18 1 62 STEEL CRUSADE (477) -ARTHUR BEYER 4648 4 0 0 62 MEDAL OF HONOR VI (468) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME MAUREEN 4702 11 5 0 54 GOLDEN CANYON (290) PIKE 4708 7 6 0 41 GOLDEN CANYON (290) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME IVORY IGUANA 4714 4 1 0 36 DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -ORTH 4643 7 4 0 31 PHILANTHROPISTS (467) -PLEXIGLASSJAWJOE 4650 6 5 0 31 PHILANTHROPISTS (467) SCARLET SKINK 4713 4 1 0 27 DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) -SMAYNURN 4656 6 3 0 25 PHILANTHROPISTS (467) -IRON FORGE 4707 3 4 0 25 PHILANTHROPISTS (467) GUARDIAN NAGA 4712 3 2 0 25 DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME TIMBER RATTLESNAKE 4710 3 2 0 17 DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) UP-CHUCKY 4722 3 3 0 15 STEEL CRUSADE (477) SPECKLED GECKO 4711 3 2 0 13 DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) CALONYMUS 4721 1 3 0 6 STEEL CRUSADE (477) -SOLDIER 1 4649 0 1 0 1 MEDAL OF HONOR VI (468) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? PERSONAL ADS Speckled Gecko -- Sesame seeds? No, sorry, but I'm not seeing that. I mean, sure, we could pass the meat off as fish of some kind, people will believe anything of fish, but I don't think sesame seeds.... Hmm. Maybe poppy seeds with lemon pepper. Or maybe just very coarsely ground pepper. That might work, provided the meat is not strong-flavored. THEN, we'd need a wine marinade first. Let me think about this. -- Pike Gozshh, I guessh I shhouldn' try to ushe the Noble Asshsasshin. It'sh too shtrong for any reshipe I know. -- Clemmie, going to lie down with an icebag on her head Orth -- There's nothing for it, I'm going to have to invent something from the whole cloth for you. And let me tell you, cloth dishes are darned tricky! -- Loris Key P.S. But now that the topic has come up, have YOU ever been a brandy? Scarlet Skink? That sounds like something Debby Tonte would drink, with an umbrella in it. I believe I'll have to pass on this one. -- Maureen Capn Crunch -- That's because they don't understand the importance of garlic, cayenne, and lime juice in such a dish. -- Loris Key Sven -- Astonished, in all truth. And... (doubtful look) it isn't as though I've tried ALL shellfish. Maybe yours are better. -- Golderie Caylon -- Ah, but that's what the melons are for! -- Clemmie Calonymus -- A valid concern. So much fish is spoiled by lack of freshness, and/or too many bones. I USED to have it teleported in from the Storm Sea by a relay of magicians, but with the Arcanum in such a depleted state, this is apparently now impossible. They keep telling me there are more important uses for their limited powers these days, though when I demand examples, they are strangely at a loss. But I have a secret source which provides an unfortunately limited quantity of really good fish. -- Pike P.S. And, of course, the melons. 24 January 2007 The Council of Lords would like to propose a rule change in ADM and Primus. We propose that Lord Protectors ranked "Grand Champions" and below (ADM) and "The Tower Guard" and below (Primus) be allowed to fight in the Dark Arena. This would not impact the top rankings or title match. Any managers who never got his fill or shot at fighting Gateway monsters would have it as an option. We believe it might spark some interest in the ADM/Primus realm for some managers. If interested, speak up in the newsletters or on forums under the "rules changes" thread and let RSI know. This could even be something to try for 12 months and then be re-evaluated. What say you, managers of Ghea? -- The Icelord sends.... 29 January 2007 HDFA Mission Statement "Show me the money!" This is the battle cry of a newly formed collection of like-minded individuals: The High Dolla' Free Agent$. We are not a tough guy alliance: No...we offer no battle without reward. We search for victory and the prizes and accolades that follow. We are motivated by winning and will freely use whatever means necessary to obtain our currency. No stuffy rules, no mandates, no constitutions, no leaders, only a few objectives: 1) Win as often as possible 2) Celebrate freely and revel in your victories; the more meaningless the victory the more we celebrate. Highsiding and chest thumping are encouraged. Ostentatious endzone celebrations with prop usage are encouraged, regardless of fines, penalties, suspensions or arrest by local authorities. It is important to let your opponent know how great you are; more importantly, you must let your own alliance mates know how great you are. This is a 1-up alliance, let the performance of your fellow Free Agent$ motivate you. If a Free Agent wins a TV, win 2; if a Free agent wins a contest, win a more prestigious one. Current members of the HDFA include: CFH and Abraxis. Inquires can be directed to: CFH/Rat Salad DM 47 14 February 2007 RSI is now taking rollups for a slow version of the No-Tournament arena. Send your rollup to RSI listing the arena as "Slow No Tournament". Sign and send in the following pledge: * I pledge that I will not send warriors from this team to a Tournament, nor will I use a Tournament prize on a warrior from this team. * I pledge to run a full team when I run turns in this arena. If circumstances preclude my running less than a full team I will notify the Player Committee. * I agree to abide by the decisions of the Player Committee. * I understand that any warrior that participates in a Tournament shall be sent to the Dark Arena until they are dead. * I understand that any warrior that receives a Tournament prize shall be send to the Dark Arena until they are dead. The following are the rules for joining this No-Tournament arena 1. No tournament play (Dead tournament or otherwise) 2. One team per manager 3. Team starts with new rollup (or a zero fight equivalent team is transferred into this arena.) 4. No tourney prizes allowed to modify warriors in the arena 5. 20 teams required, per RSI 6. Waivers are required to allow self-regulation on tourney ban, granting RSI authority to Dark Arena any warrior that participates in a Tournament (until the warrior is dead.) 7. Rotating council to enforce tourney ban and maintain arena integrity. Hammer will be the focal point for this arena's Player Committee. LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS GUARDIAN NAGA was devastated by MAUREEN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight. SPECKLED GECKO was vanquished by PIKE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle. GOLDERIE was subdued by CAP'N CRUNCH in a 1 minute Title fight. SVEN BLUETOOTH vanquished CLEMMIE in a 1 minute mismatched brawl. CAYLON MCCANN was overpowered by LORIS KEY in a 1 minute one-sided fight. UP-CHUCKY was devastated by IVORY IGUANA in a 1 minute uneven brawl. SCARLET SKINK overpowered CALONYMUS in a 1 minute one-sided struggle. TIMBER RATTLESNAKE bested SHIFTYEYED VOLUNTEER in a 2 minute novice's competition. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |PARRY-LUNGE 4 SLASHING ATTACK 5 - 1 - 1 83 | |BASHING ATTACK 3 AIMED BLOW 11 - 3 - 0 79 | |LUNGING ATTACK 3 LUNGING ATTACK 17 - 7 - 0 71 | |STRIKING ATTACK 2 PARRY-LUNGE 22 - 12 - 0 65 | |AIMED BLOW 1 BASHING ATTACK 12 - 9 - 0 57 | |SLASHING ATTACK 1 STRIKING ATTACK 6 - 5 - 0 55 | |PARRY-STRIKE 1 WALL OF STEEL 2 - 2 - 0 50 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 3 - 0 25 | |TOTAL PARRY 0 TOTAL PARRY 1 - 7 - 0 13 | |WALL OF STEEL 0 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 - 0 0 | Turn 548 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: AIMED BLOW 1 - 0 LUNGING ATTACK 1 - 2 3 BASHING ATTACK SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 3 PARRY-LUNGE BASHING ATTACK 2 - 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 2 AIMED BLOW PARRY-LUNGE 2 - 2 TOTAL PARRY 0 - 0 1 PARRY-STRIKE STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 1 WALL OF STEEL 0 - 0 1 LUNGING ATTACK 1 TOTAL PARRY TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME BASHING ATTACK CAP'N CRUNCH 4724 11 4 1 95 STEEL CRUSADE (477) PARRY-LUNGE GOLDERIE 4657 14 11 1 85 GOLDEN CANYON (290) AIMED BLOW LORIS KEY 4706 11 3 1 80 GOLDEN CANYON (290) LUNGING ATTACK IVORY IGUANA 4714 4 1 0 36 DOC LEGRAND'S LAB (475) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is GOLDERIE 4657. The most popular warrior this turn was MAUREEN 4702. The ten other most popular fighters were PIKE 4708, CAP'N CRUNCH 4724, LORIS KEY 4706, IVORY IGUANA 4714, SCARLET SKINK 4713, SVEN BLUETOOTH 4729, GUARDIAN NAGA 4712, SPECKLED GECKO 4711, GOLDERIE 4657, and CLEMMIE 4630. The least popular fighter this week was TIMBER RATTLESNAKE 4710. The other ten least popular fighters were CALONYMUS 4721, UP-CHUCKY 4722, CAYLON MCCANN 4728, CLEMMIE 4630, GOLDERIE 4657, SPECKLED GECKO 4711, GUARDIAN NAGA 4712, SVEN BLUETOOTH 4729, SCARLET SKINK 4713, and IVORY IGUANA 4714.