Date   : 12/24/2007    Duedate: 01/05/2008


DM-26    TURN-570

This Weeks Top Honors


(26-4740) [14-6-0,99]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MOLDRAUN                       TOM
GOLDEN CANYON (290)            FAMOUS FELINES (478)
(26-4740) [14-6-0,99]          (26-4735) [1-1-0,13]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MOLDRAUN                       TOM
GOLDEN CANYON (290)            FAMOUS FELINES (478)
(26-4740) [14-6-0,99]          (26-4735) [1-1-0,13]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. STEEL CRUSADE (477)         23
2. GOLDEN CANYON (290)         22      GOLDEN CANYON (290)
3. FAMOUS FELINES (478)         0      Unchartered Team

                                       FAMOUS FELINES (478)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*FAMOUS FELINES (478)       6   3  2 66.7   1/ 1 GOLDEN CANYON (290)      12  3 0
 2/ 2 GOLDEN CANYON (290)      601 747 22 44.6   2/ 2 STEEL CRUSADE (477)       5 10 0
 3/ 3 STEEL CRUSADE (477)      126 170  6 42.6   3/ 3*FAMOUS FELINES (478)      3  3 1

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 290): LORD BYRON of SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 583): DIRK DARKBLADE of IMMORTALS (Dartor, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 582): SCRUFF of THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 575): JACKSON of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 572): MANUEL PEREZ of MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 571): FLEX of ERRATA (JE, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 569): PIKE of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 564): NULN of I TRAINED THEM (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 534): TRIANGLE MAN of NEUROMANCERS (Rude Buddha, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 525): FORANDIN of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 516): MICK JAGGER of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 238): INSOLENT IRIS of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 418): NO WAY! of SUPERIOR FORCES 5405 (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 192): OBSESSION of SCENT OF A WOMAN (The Sentinel, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 468): LUCIAS CLAY of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 290): SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 583): BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 582): THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 575): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 572): MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 571): AMAZONS (?, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 569): GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 564): LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 534): LETHAL LEGION (Seraphim, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 525): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 516): FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 417): WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 192): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 468): SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 583): JACKHAMMER of NEVERWAKE (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 569): PIKE of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 563): DR TRINAIRE of RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 524): VALGARD of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 516): JUANITA of FANIDLS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 237): SHY ANN of SITTEES (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 417): LENALGIRE of WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 191): AIKEN of SUPERIOR FORCES Y4 (Manager, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     It seems that I have graduated to the rank of Professional Chef, which is good.
Someone has to keep the restaurants here and up on the hill working properly.  Don't
look for me on the Isle, that's covered by my teammates.
     Thanks to all who have helped me reach this point.


P.S.  Epee, with a deftness of 11?  I am DEFINITELY not going to the Isle.

                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings, warriors of CALEAM!  Once again I've been called out of retirement 
for my abilities and insights into Spyreporting.  What's with CNUT CNUKLZ?  He 
actually beat GOLDEN CANYON's COROT TORO, and walked away with 17 more points from 
the fight.  Laughs were big at GOLDEN CANYON while they watched SUZETTE CREPPAY 
clobber CALONYMUS.  He lost 6 points and got bruised from objects thrown from the 
stands.  Try as he might, UP-CHUCKY wasn't good enough at persuading PIKE to step 
down from the Duelmaster's throne...  I suppose you want to hear some rumors and 
dirty gossip about your fellow fighters?  Tough!   
     If at first you don't succeed, avoid.  That'll get you in the Spyreports.  The 
most avoided team was GOLDEN CANYON.  The bums at STEEL CRUSADE couldn't face the 
challenges from GOLDEN CANYON!  No excuse for that!  How well I know the feeling of 
being the most challenged warrior, MOLDRAUN!  Don't make idle boasts, they may come 
back to haunt you.  MOLDRAUN didn't quite know what to make of a challenge he 
received from CAYLON MCCANN of STEEL CRUSADE, who is 19 points below him.  CAYLON 
MCCANN perhaps got his just desserts, seeing as he was subdued by MOLDRAUN and ended 
up with 80 recognition points.   
     There have been some calls to lengthen the time limit.  Do you want the fighters 
to walk away, or not?  How long have I been here?  I got people to see, places to 
     Who knows what the future holds for a warrior.  More fights, there's no doubt.  
Are you as tired of reading this as I am of writing it?  Actually, I guess I'm 
writing it before you read it.  Oh, well.  Remember--a good fighter needs both good 
skills and good luck.  Until next time,-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MOLDRAUN 4740                14   6  0    99       GOLDEN CANYON (290)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CAYLON MCCANN 4728           14  28  1    80       STEEL CRUSADE (477)
 UP-CHUCKY 4722                8  10  0    73       STEEL CRUSADE (477)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SUZETTE CREPPAY 4746          6   0  1    45       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
 SHORT ORDER JOE 4745          5   4  0    38       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
 CALONYMUS 4721                7   9  0    36       STEEL CRUSADE (477)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CNUT CNUKLZ 4747              2   2  0    24       STEEL CRUSADE (477)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 COROT TORO 4743               5   7  0    22       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
-PINK PANTHER 4733             2   0  2    21       FAMOUS FELINES (478)
 DINK GRUNTLING 4748           3   1  0    20       STEEL CRUSADE (477)
-MACK 4734                     2   0  0    19       FAMOUS FELINES (478)
 TOM 4735                      1   1  0    13       FAMOUS FELINES (478)
-CHESHIRE CAT 4736             1   1  0     9       FAMOUS FELINES (478)
-SYLVESTER 4732                0   1  0     1       FAMOUS FELINES (478)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Short Order Joe -- Your regular clientele must lack imagination.  *I* like okra, and
I have found it good even grilled.  Though I must admit I prefer it fried, in a spicy
gumbo, or especially whole small pods added to a shrimp creole.  But a word to the
wise:  the secret to good okra is a very sharp knife.  A dull one just bruises the
pods and causes them to become rather slimy and definitely unsavory. -- Calonymus,
with a certain air of authority...when it comes to okra

Sylvester -- MMM!  Chat en brochette!  It's different, and I think I like it better
than pancakes. -- Cnut

Suzette -- Why don't you stick to feeding Calonymous your pancakes and leave a poor
young squealer alone?  Besides, your cousin is much funnier. -- Dink

Couldn't help but notice all these cats in the neighborhood.  General Meow's Chicken,
any one? -- Cassius Calvata

Pike -- Well, that is just the story of my life now, isn't it?  ALL my admirers seem
to keep it pretty well to themselves.  It gets a little tiresome, you know.  Every
now and then I wish one of them would just come out in the open and say "Hey dude, I
like what you do with those melons".  But it's probably too much to hope for. --
Caylon, still on the shelf

Pike and Moldraun-- Owie, Youch, Oof. -- Up-Chucky (still a man of few words)

Up-Chucky -- Down daisy, boy. -- Moldraun
P.S.  You look fair standing on your head.  Have you considered making a habit of

Calonymus -- Drat.  I knew I shouldn't try to mess with fancy cooking.  A melon is
just for slicing and eating, not for including in "compotes" or other weird recipes.
-- Short Order Joe
P.S.  It's a good guess that if the recipe or dish doesn't have a plain ordinary
name, it's gonna be weird.

Dink Gruntling -- Anchovy pancakes?  I don't think so.  I'm not sure I could cook
them, and I *know* that nobody in this guildhouse would eat 'em. -- Suzette Creppay
P.S.  Although I have heard of people putting little fish in omelets.  Seems a shame.

Caylon McCann -- Could I, perhaps, get you to sing "western style" at my going-away
party? -- Pike

I didn't realize that Fratsfan Noble Brandy was blond.  Not that I mind, I was just
surprised.  Something based on honey, apparently. -- Corot Toro

Caylon -- Weird flashing lights.  (sigh)  I've always wanted to see an ufo, and I
always seem to miss them.  My vote is, the lab and its contents, and all the hardware
and physical plant, too, were kidnapped by aliens.  And anything that qualifies as an
alien in an Alastarian arena town has got to be MAJOR weird. -- Moldraun

Calonymus -- "Golden carp" how?  If it's a platter, we could come up with something
intriguing to put on it. -- Suzette

Delores Gribble -- We're trying to toughen him up. -- Pike and Moldraun

Calonymus -- (baffled shake of the head) -- Corot Toro

Winstead -- Of course I must gave weight to your opinion, BUT it depends on the
honey, you know.  Have you ever had salt-cedar honey?  Forget the pecans, you won't
taste them anyway. -- Suzette

     Heck, you should have leatherwood honey.  Now THERE'S strong stuff! -- Ed.

Lord Protector Pike -- They tell me something in the way of cooking equipment would
be a good choice for you.  How about a monogrammed garlic press? -- Arenamaster Tohre

22 December 2007
All -- Just that tired old reminder to check your e-mail settings when you send ads
and such.  Please send stuff as plain text rather than as HTML or formatted text.
HAL, being the simple golem it is, doesn't know what to do with anything other than
plain text.  Note, this also means it doesn't know what to do with "smart" or "curly"
quotes, whether single or double, em-dashes (rendered here as two hyphens "--") or
everyone's favourite ellipsis (..., aka three dots). -- A public self-service
announcement from your Ed.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CAYLON MCCANN was bested by MOLDRAUN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title fight.
TOM was luckily beaten by DINK GRUNTLING in a 7 minute novice's Challenge melee.
PIKE bested UP-CHUCKY in a 2 minute contest.
SUZETTE CREPPAY defeated CALONYMUS in a 2 minute fight.
SHORT ORDER JOE subdued HAPPY PEASANT in a 2 minute competition.
COROT TORO was devastated by CNUT CNUKLZ in a 1 minute one-sided duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         SLASHING ATTACK    4 -   0 -  3     100  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         TOTAL PARRY        3 -   1 -  0      75  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         WALL OF STEEL     11 -   4 -  1      73  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         AIMED BLOW         5 -   3 -  0      63  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         LUNGING ATTACK    14 -  10 -  0      58  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         STRIKING ATTACK    9 -   8 -  1      53  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         PARRY-LUNGE       14 -  16 -  0      47  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         BASHING ATTACK     7 -  10 -  0      41  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-STRIKE       2 -   9 -  0      18  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   2 -  0       0  |

Turn 570 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  2         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         2  STRIKING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         2  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
                              SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  2         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  0         1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   MOLDRAUN 4740              14   6  0   99 GOLDEN CANYON (290)
WALL OF STEEL    SUZETTE CREPPAY 4746        6   0  1   45 GOLDEN CANYON (290)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MOLDRAUN 4740.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was TOM 4735.  The ten other most popular fighters were MOLDRAUN 4740, SUZETTE 
4748, CAYLON MCCANN 4728, CALONYMUS 4721, COROT TORO 4743, and  0.

The least popular fighter this week was COROT TORO 4743.  The other ten least popular 
4735, and  0.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

PIKE (26-4708) GOLDEN CANYON (290)