Date   : 01/07/2008    Duedate: 01/19/2008


DM-26    TURN-571

This Weeks Top Honors


(26-4740) [15-6-0,105]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MOLDRAUN                       POSITION IS EMPTY
GOLDEN CANYON (290)            
(26-4740) [15-6-0,105]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

MOLDRAUN                       KETTELMAN
GOLDEN CANYON (290)            GOLDEN CANYON (290)
(26-4740) [15-6-0,105]         (26-4749) [0-1-0,4]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. STEEL CRUSADE (477)         22
2. FAMOUS FELINES (478)         0      GOLDEN CANYON (290)
3. GOLDEN CANYON (290)         -1      Unchartered Team

                                       DOSADI TRADERS II (304)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*FAMOUS FELINES (478)       6   3  2 66.7   1/ 1 GOLDEN CANYON (290)      10  5 0
 2/ 2 GOLDEN CANYON (290)      603 750 22 44.6   2/ 2 STEEL CRUSADE (477)       7  8 0
 3/ 3 STEEL CRUSADE (477)      129 172  6 42.9   3- 3*FAMOUS FELINES (478)      3  3 1

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

      Caylon, I gotta tell you, this is a real strain for me.  (leaning an elbow on
the bar)  I'm basically a simple guy, and EVERYONE else on my team is into fancy
cooking or at least color draping or flower arranging, or any other weird thing like
that.  But me, a steak, a baked potato with butter or maybe sour cream, an unassuming
red wine, that's all I ask.  Yeah, I know, pretty puny of me, huh?  I mean, I even
worked up a fairly fancy steak sauce, since it seemed expected of me.  But if it's a
good steak, who needs sauce?  A little coarse-ground salt and pepper and it's good to
go.  And, yeah, I know, my teammates make a thing about your melons.  Well, fine.  I
like melons, when you come down to it.  PLAIN melons.  Yours are good.  Who needs a
sauce, or a compote, or a mint garnish, for a really good melon?  It's just too much.


                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings warriors!  It is I, Zontani Sharp Eyes, here to bring report of the 
clash and bustle of the weekly CALEAM games.  CALONYMUS caught the eye of many in the 
gladiatorial commission as he skillfully bested SUZETTE CREPPAY and was awarded 18 
points in recognition.  In one of the week's more notable duels, CALONYMUS put down 
SUZETTE CREPPAY, causing her to lose 15 points of recognition in the process.  Not 
for nothing has MOLDRAUN in the past laid claim to the Duelmaster's throne, and this 
week he's proven his combat skill yet again.  No confirmation, but my sources claim 
that the top team has gained their position using magical aids.  Charmed weapons 
     I have been in deep conclave with my spies who watched all that has recently 
transpired.  Indeed there is much I would report.  Mighty fighters cannot but expect 
competition from those below.  SUZETTE CREPPAY take warning!  You have more than a 
few enemies in CALEAM.   
     Is not Death a warrior's foremost adviser?   Warriors, may this counselor stand 
ready at your right hand forever!  Some say a warrior is judged by the way he bears 
arms.  One thing is sure, better a dagger in hand then a sword on the belt!   
     If it were not for my skills as a spy I would have been mugged three times 
already in CALEAM.  Nice atmosphere you have here!  Ahh, but I can hear the spires of 
a far off city calling to me.  I must away!  Till we meet again, remember:  a turtle 
walks slow, hides head in a shell, and harms no one; a lion runs to slay its prey.-- 
Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MOLDRAUN 4740                15   6  0   105       GOLDEN CANYON (290)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 UP-CHUCKY 4722                9  10  0    88       STEEL CRUSADE (477)
 CAYLON MCCANN 4728           14  29  1    78       STEEL CRUSADE (477)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CALONYMUS 4721                8   9  0    54       STEEL CRUSADE (477)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 COROT TORO 4743               6   7  0    33       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
 SHORT ORDER JOE 4745          5   5  0    31       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
 SUZETTE CREPPAY 4746          6   1  1    30       GOLDEN CANYON (290)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DINK GRUNTLING 4748           4   1  0    22       STEEL CRUSADE (477)
-PINK PANTHER 4733             2   0  2    21       FAMOUS FELINES (478)
-MACK 4734                     2   0  0    19       FAMOUS FELINES (478)
 CNUT CNUKLZ 4747              2   3  0    13       STEEL CRUSADE (477)
-TOM 4735                      1   1  0    13       FAMOUS FELINES (478)
-CHESHIRE CAT 4736             1   1  0     9       FAMOUS FELINES (478)
 KETTELMAN 4749                0   1  0     4       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
-SYLVESTER 4732                0   1  0     1       FAMOUS FELINES (478)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Pike -- Congrats again on making the "Pros".  I tried, you know, just because you
asked, but I'm not sure my singing went over that well at the farewell party.  I'm
really not all that much of a singer and the closest I could come to "western style"
were some yodels that Sven taught me before he left.  Still, I did think that Up-
Chucky performing "Oh Suzanna" on his armpit lent a festive "air" to the occasion. --

Moldraun -- Me think you wrong.  Purple not good color for Up-Chucky.  Me hate stand
on head. -- Up-Chucky (burp)

Suzette -- Never mind (sigh).  My carp is smoked now.  And how. -- the sadder but
wiser Calonymus

Short Order Joe -- Well, it looks like you finally found the proper audience to
appreciate your particular brand of cookery.  But I'll bet the Happy Peasant was a
lot happier before the entree arrived! -- Calonymus

Suzette (and Ed...whoever you are...) -- Well, the only honey *I* ever use in a
serious recipe is a local wildwood honey, harvested before the sumac blooms.  For
baking, I age it another year, at least.  I've never had the opportunity to try your
salt-cedar or leatherwood honeys, though from just the names I am intrigued. --

     I think leatherwood must be Australian, and salt-cedar is from southern New
     Mexico. -- Temp Ed.

Corot Toro -- Sorry if I got a bit rough last go, but I thought I could smell
pancakes on your breath, and I guess I just flashed-back, and all I could think was
"Oh no! Not again!!" and well...I just lost it.  Bit of advice here: don't go over to
your cousin's for brunch before coming to the arena.  Nuff said.  (wink) -- Cnut 

Moldraun -- UFOs 'n' Aliens???  Geez, I was just thinking another dimension or such
like, you know, results of some bizarre experiment gone horribily wrong.  Wow!  Do
you think they'll ever bring him back?  And would we even know him if they did?
Maybe the Doc and his critters, strange as they were, would be morphed beyond all
recognition.  Whoa. -- Caylon

What's that, Suzette?  You hid anchovies in my armor as a prank?!?  You little minx!
I'm gonna have to keep a closer watch on you from now on.  But at least that explains
the sudden interest Tom has taken in me.  Cats! -- Dink Gruntling

Tom -- You silly kitty, I meant to do that.  Yeah. -- the Dinkster

Tom -- Alright for you, Mr. Famous Feline!  Look at all these holes in my armor!  And
I just had it cleaned and polished too.  You must think this stuff grows on trees,
eh?  Wanton vandalism I call it!  Somebody's gonna have to pay for this you know.
Where\'s Calvata!?!  If this keeps up, I'm definately gonna need a raise.
Definately. -- Dink (the ever frugal) Gruntling

Corot Toro -- I don't think you're nearly as funny as Dink said.  Heck, you fell
right over.  What's funny about that, I ask you. -- Cnut

Suzette -- I know I said you should feed your pancakes to Calonymus and leave me
alone, but I didn't think you'd really do it!  But hey, I tried to warn him that
these arena infatuations never go anywhere.  Poor guy.  (sigh)  He seems a changed
man after spending a couple days on an infirmary cot next to your cousin.  (shrugs)
Oh well, live and learn I always say.  But mostly, you gotta live. -- Dink 

Up-Chucky -- I've given the matter careful thought, since I'm retiring and have time
for careful thought now, and my thought is, maybe you need a plainer, not to say
blander, diet.  A little less fat, a little less sugar, and NO soy sauce.  We've got
to settle your stomach.  It isn't healthy to be throwing up all the time.  It's also
tactless, but that isn't really YOUR problem, well, the tactlessness might be, and
the poor judgment to eat stuff you know won't agree with you, but coddled eggs,
buttered rice, bread pudding, something like that? -- Pike
P.S.  Macaroni and cheese, if we leave out the mustard, garlic, and salsa?  Not that
there's much left if you don't have mustard, garlic, and salsa.

Calonymus -- You shouldn't do this to me, I'll get a swelled head and then my chef's
hat won't fit.  Anyway, I'm going to enter in the Chef's Slice and Dice Competition,
and I've been practicing for it.  How do you think I'll do? -- Suzette Creppay

The Happy Peasant tried to leave my dinner (I have a dinner on the side of the Golden
Canyon Saloon) without paying for his lunch.  Now he's paid, and he isn't quite so
happy. -- Short Order Joe

Cnut Cnuklz -- (groaning)  The palate knife effect, ouch!  I think you're smearing my
blood too thickly. -- Corot Toro
P.S.  Too much of it out and around.  Maybe we should try yours, instead.

Calonymus -- Ah!  A very sharp knife I can do.  Come by in a day or two and check the
result. -- Short Order Joe

Dink -- Works for me.  Stay clear. -- Suzette

Winstead -- I'd be glad to give it a try. -- Suzette
P.S.  Or should that be addressed to Ed?

Arenamaster Tohre -- Ah, is that a SILVER monogrammed garlic press? -- Pike

     The Regional Arena News is down for repairs but will return soon.

22 December 2007
All -- Just that tired old reminder to check your e-mail settings when you send ads
and such.  Please send stuff as plain text rather than as HTML or formatted text.
HAL, being the simple golem it is, doesn't know what to do with anything other than
plain text.  Note, this also means it doesn't know what to do with "smart" or "curly"
quotes, whether single or double, em-dashes (rendered here as two hyphens "--") or
everyone's favourite ellipsis (..., aka three dots). -- A public self-service
announcement from your Ed.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CALONYMUS devastated SUZETTE CREPPAY in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
MOLDRAUN demolished CAYLON MCCANN in a 1 minute gory one-sided Title melee.
UP-CHUCKY vanquished VIRGINAL CONCUBINE in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
SHORT ORDER JOE was overpowered by RUTHLESS JAYWALKER in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
CNUT CNUKLZ was devastated by COROT TORO in a 1 minute uneven brawl.
DINK GRUNTLING luckily beat KETTELMAN in a crowd pleasing 3 minute novice's struggle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         SLASHING ATTACK    3 -   0 -  2     100  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         AIMED BLOW         5 -   1 -  0      83  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         TOTAL PARRY        4 -   1 -  0      80  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         WALL OF STEEL     11 -   6 -  1      65  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         LUNGING ATTACK    13 -   9 -  0      59  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-LUNGE       16 -  13 -  0      55  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         STRIKING ATTACK    8 -   9 -  1      47  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         BASHING ATTACK     3 -   9 -  0      25  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  10 -  0       9  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   1 -  0       0  |

Turn 571 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         2  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  0         2  WALL OF STEEL  
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  0         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  2         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   MOLDRAUN 4740              15   6  0  105 GOLDEN CANYON (290)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is MOLDRAUN 4740.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was KETTELMAN 4749.  The ten other most popular fighters were MOLDRAUN 4740, 
4728, SHORT ORDER JOE 4745, CNUT CNUKLZ 4747, DINK GRUNTLING 4748, and  0.

The least popular fighter this week was DINK GRUNTLING 4748.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were CNUT CNUKLZ 4747, SHORT ORDER JOE 4745, CAYLON MCCANN 4728, 
KETTELMAN 4749, and  0.