Date   : 03/17/2008    Duedate: 03/29/2008


DM-26    TURN-575

This Weeks Top Honors


(26-4728) [18-29-1,118]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

STEEL CRUSADE (477)            ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
(26-4728) [18-29-1,118]        (26-4750) [2-0-0,32]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

STEEL CRUSADE (477)            STEEL CRUSADE (477)
(26-4728) [18-29-1,118]        (26-4728) [18-29-1,118]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. GOLDEN CANYON (290)         28
2. ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)         17      STEEL CRUSADE (477)
3. STEEL CRUSADE (477)          7      Unchartered Team

                                       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)        8   2  1 80.0   1/ 1 STEEL CRUSADE (477)      12  3 0
 2/ 3 STEEL CRUSADE (477)      144 177  6 44.9   2/ 3*ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)       8  2 1
 3/ 2 GOLDEN CANYON (290)      614 759 22 44.7   3/ 2 GOLDEN CANYON (290)       8  7 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

              + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Golden Canyon ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     Pike, spreading out a newspaper to wrap fish bones in, paused to read the front
page article.  Following long-established custom, he turned to page thirteen for a
continuation, only to discover that this particular issue of the Andorian Star was
limited to twelve pages.  He went back to the front page and looked again.  No doubt
about it, this story was not done.  And if the reporter hadn't finished it, that
meant that other people had better get busy.
     He banged the back of his knife against a handy kettle to get everyone's
attention.  "Listen up," he said, "and then tell me what you think of this."  Holding
the fish bones out of the way, he began to read.

          + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Star #101 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     In an interview yesterday, Senator Sedalia stated that he had gone to Andor with
the intention of requesting the King's aid for the coastal areas battered by the
dramatic and tempestuous waves resulting from the sinking of Krael.
     "I and my colleagues felt that the devastation along the coast is properly a
matter for the King's attention," the senator and lord protector said.  "We did not
go seeking a hand-out, but only a helping hand."
     A spokesman at the Royal Palace, who declined to identify himself when queried
on Sedalia's visit, said that the matter had been "taken under advisement."  No
further development of this position could be obtained in Andor.
     Senator Sedalia's manager, Lenpro of Iaye, told this reporter that, "We will
pursue this matter."
     Anyone with information that might be of assistance is invited to communicate
with the Andorian Star office.

     "So, what do you think?" Pike asked.
     "I'm glad Caleam isn't on the coast," Short Order Joe said.  "Be a lot of
trouble to clean up a kitchen after a tidal wave.  I know, I had to do it once.  Ah,
somewhere else."
     "All those poor people!"  Suzette leaned over the table from the other
direction, trying to read the article upside down.  "Does it say how many are homeless?"
     "No, didn't notice that anywhere," Pike said.  "Only what I read you."
     "Doesn't matter, there's bound to be lots.  We have to help."  She brightened
suddenly, as though a candle had burst into flame in her head.  "I know!  We'll hold
a bake sale to raise money!"

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 293): LORD BYRON of SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 588): SAFFRON SKUNK of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 588): MOLYNEUX of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 581): JEROME of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 577): MANUEL PEREZ of MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 577): KEG STAND of BARHOPPERS (Apex, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 574): CAYLON MCCANN of STEEL CRUSADE (Cassius Calvata, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 570): KLINK of THE A'S -- LOSERS II (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 539): PARTICLE MAN of NEUROMANCERS (Rude Buddha, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 530): RAMBLING OX of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 521): NIVIX of INFERNAL LORDS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 241): PAS DE QUARTIER of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 423): ELEPHANT DUNG of WILD KINGDOM (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 194): I OF THE KNEE DOLL of HAZAARDS OF CLONING (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 473): AXLY HIMSELF of GERFEL'S FRIENDS (Generalissimo Puerco)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 293): SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 588): ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 588): OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 551): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 577): MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 577): FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 574): STEEL CRUSADE (Cassius Calvata, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 570): THE A'S -- LOSERS (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 539): BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 530): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 521): FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 241): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 422): THE EXILED ONES (Darklock, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 194): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 473): SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 587): 100% of NO-HALF STEPPING (?, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 538): SELVUN of BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 529): LORIMINA of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 520): BUNKER of SONS OF TULL (Gerald Bostock, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 239): INSOLENT IRIS of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 191): AIKEN of SUPERIOR FORCES Y4 (Manager, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Sometimes I have to wonder about those Spyreporter types.  Mentioning Ultra-Violent
as finishing in third on their first time out seemed pretty sarcastic to me.  Let's
face it, when there are only three teams in competition, third is kind of, well,
inevitable, isn't it?  Their outstanding 5 for 5 didn't get them any more than 0 for
5 would have, but no mention was made of Ultra-Violent's perfect score.  Is that
damning-with-faint-praise, or what?

Anyway, it is good to see a new team come along.  I know I sure didn't think much of
M. Chardinee.  Chardinee!  And me on a special training diet.  What in the world were
the Commissioners thinking?  (It wasn't even a good Chardinee at that, not that I
ever had any particular liking for such stuff to start with.  Give me a spicy, dry
Alsatian-style Gewurtztraminer, or a grapefruit-fading-to-apricot Kleinsberger
Reisling any day.  Any day when a good, dry red isn't available, that is.)

But I digress.  All sympathy to Golden Canyon for their upper respiratory distress.
Perhaps Kettleman could make a steaming herbed chicken soup.  If you couldn't taste
it you could all at least stand around the pot and breathe in the vapors.  Soothing
if not particularly fulfilling.  Hope you're better by now.  My offer to come by the
Twisted Lemming will still be open when you can experience the taste.  You missed the
Kufta, but I think I noticed Habib readying the skewers, and that can only mean
Kibbeh.  Yum.

Caylon McCann

                                      SPY REPORT

     You elder fighters surely remember me.  The younger ones may call me Olaf 
Modeen.  I return to CALEAM once again!  What's with MOLDRAUN?  He actually beat 
STEEL CRUSADE's CALONYMUS, and walked away with 25 more points from the fight.  Major 
screwup at STEEL CRUSADE.  CALONYMUS lost 21 points to MOLDRAUN.  Some new 
strategies, perhaps?  Maybe CALONYMUS will provide more easy wins...  Try as he 
might, KHALHUMS DWARF wasn't good enough at persuading CAYLON MCCANN to step down 
from the Duelmaster's throne...  I suppose you want to hear some rumors and dirty 
gossip about your fellow fighters?  Tough!   
     Speaking of cowardly avoiders and unfair challenges...  The most avoided team 
was GOLDEN CANYON.  Management must be dealin', as the boys at ULTRA-VIOLENT ain't 
reelin'!  GOLDEN CANYON's mad!  How well I know the feeling of being the most 
challenged warrior, COROT TORO!  Don't make idle boasts, they may come back to haunt 
     A fighter's lot is filled with strife, revenge, and killing.  Some fighters 
don't accept this.  The best do.  How long have I been here?  I got people to see, 
places to go...   
     Well, I'm pretty much through.  You guys need to get back practicing.  The end 
of another Spyreport!  That's cause for celebration in my book!  Time for my 
medication, so I'll leave now.  Practice, practice, practice!-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CAYLON MCCANN 4728           18  29  1   118       STEEL CRUSADE (477)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 UP-CHUCKY 4722               13  10  0   111       STEEL CRUSADE (477)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MOLDRAUN 4740                16   9  0    89       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
 CALONYMUS 4721               11  10  0    69       STEEL CRUSADE (477)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SUZETTE CREPPAY 4746         10   1  1    54       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
 CNUT CNUKLZ 4747              5   4  0    49       STEEL CRUSADE (477)
 SHORT ORDER JOE 4745          8   6  0    36       GOLDEN CANYON (290)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GUT BUSTER 4750               2   0  0    32       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
 COROT TORO 4743               6  11  0    29       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
 KETTELMAN 4749                3   2  0    26       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
 DINK GRUNTLING 4748           5   4  0    24       STEEL CRUSADE (477)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FLESH FLAYER 4751             2   0  1    23       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
 SKULL SPLITTER 4753           2   0  0    22       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
 HEART BREAKER 4752            1   1  0     5       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
 BONE CRUSHER 4754             1   1  0     4       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Corot Toro -- Okay, no corn nuts.  You probably couldn't chew 'em now anyway. -- Cnut

Kettleman -- I don't think hurling a pot of boiling stew on your opponent is at all
fair.  It only made me mad.  And I'm not a nice person when I'm mad. -- the

Moldraun -- Rhubarb isn't in season, is it?  No wonder!  You can make a decent pie
with frozen berries maybe, but rhubarb should be fresh. -- Calonymus

Suzette -- What is your fixation with sausages already?  You are weirding me out.
Whoa. -- Dink (veggies only, please) Gruntling

Dink Gruntling -- And no wonder at that, the way you "pigged out," as they say, on my
barbecue.  Which I admit is rather good.  It isn't every cook who can pull off a
barbecue at this season, either. -- Kettelman

Calonymus -- Not that I mind.  At this time of year, something light and fresh
involving melons has a very appealing aura.  Maybe a compote of melon chunks (you
didn't break up in chunks well, but I can live with that) and sliced candied ginger

roots, all tied together with a light white wine, perhaps even a sparkling wine.
Hmm, maybe not.  Sparkling wines are tricky.  Better to go with a still one. --

I fed the Happy Peasant flaming pancakes, and he didn't even wait for the fire to go
out.  There is a hungry man! -- Suzette Creppay

I don't mind cooking for the Visiting Orc, but he WILL pay for his meal. -- Short
Order Joe

Cnut Cnuklz -- I've just run across this recipe--old family heirloom type thing--for
meat pies involving picking off a set of pig's knuckles.  A lot of garlic and sage,
of course, assorted root vegetables chopped fairly fine, okay, not really NEW.  The
sauce (a roux?) that goes into it is, well, that IS a family secret, so I won't go
into the details, and then it's topped with red and yellow sweet peppers arranged
artistically on the top.  I'd like you to be the first to try it. -- Corot Toro

Caylon -- It'd be a pleasure.  I haven't eaten ethnic in a while. -- Moldraun

Cnut -- But blackberries are out of season!  It's the season for oranges, and orange
syrups. -- Suzette

All -- Er, I mean both managers.  I'm not intruding in your personal arena, am I?
It must get boring fighting Ambitious Guard, Happy Peasant, and Malicious Litterbug.
I plan on sticking around so I'll work on my food metaphors. -- Deep Thought, mgr.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CNUT CNUKLZ bested SHORT ORDER JOE in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
GUT BUSTER devastated COROT TORO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
CAYLON MCCANN handily defeated KHALHUMS DWARF in a 2 minute one-sided Title match.
UP-CHUCKY devastated VETERAN MERCENARY in a exciting 1 minute bloody one-sided fight.
CALONYMUS was devastated by MOLDRAUN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided duel.
SUZETTE CREPPAY devastated DINK GRUNTLING in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
KETTELMAN vanquished BONE CRUSHER in a 1 minute uneven duel.
FLESH FLAYER overpowered SHIFTYEYED VOLUNTEER in a 1 minute uneven duel.
HEART BREAKER was defeated by FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a 1 minute novice's fight.
SKULL SPLITTER handily defeated POLITE BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         SLASHING ATTACK    1 -   0 -  1     100  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         WALL OF STEEL     19 -   5 -  1      79  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         LUNGING ATTACK    13 -   8 -  0      62  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         STRIKING ATTACK   11 -   7 -  0      61  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-LUNGE       16 -  11 -  0      59  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         TOTAL PARRY        5 -   4 -  0      56  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -   7 -  0      36  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         BASHING ATTACK     1 -   2 -  0      33  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  0         AIMED BLOW         0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 575 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  3         2  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  0         2  WALL OF STEEL  
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  1         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                              TOTAL PARRY        0 -  1         1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  UP-CHUCKY 4722             13  10  0  111 STEEL CRUSADE (477)
LUNGING ATTACK   MOLDRAUN 4740              16   9  0   89 GOLDEN CANYON (290)
PARRY-LUNGE      CALONYMUS 4721             11  10  0   69 STEEL CRUSADE (477)
WALL OF STEEL    SUZETTE CREPPAY 4746       10   1  1   54 GOLDEN CANYON (290)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is CAYLON MCCANN 4728.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was CAYLON MCCANN 4728.  The ten other most popular fighters were SUZETTE 

The least popular fighter this week was HEART BREAKER 4752.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were BONE CRUSHER 4754, COROT TORO 4743, DINK GRUNTLING 4748,