DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 03/31/2008    Duedate: 04/12/2008

CALEAM ARENA

DM-26    TURN-576

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

CAYLON MCCANN
STEEL CRUSADE (477)
(26-4728) [19-29-1,122]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

CAYLON MCCANN                  POSITION IS EMPTY
STEEL CRUSADE (477)            
(26-4728) [19-29-1,122]        

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

CAYLON MCCANN                  CAYLON MCCANN
STEEL CRUSADE (477)            STEEL CRUSADE (477)
(26-4728) [19-29-1,122]        (26-4728) [19-29-1,122]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. GOLDEN CANYON (290)         43
2. ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)         25      GOLDEN CANYON (290)
3. STEEL CRUSADE (477)         -9      Unchartered Team

                                       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)       12   3  1 80.0   1/ 2*ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)      12  3 1
 2/ 3 GOLDEN CANYON (290)      619 759 22 44.9   2/ 3 GOLDEN CANYON (290)      10  5 0
 3/ 2 STEEL CRUSADE (477)      146 180  6 44.8   3/ 1 STEEL CRUSADE (477)      10  5 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #1 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Iaye:

     Lenpro scanned the front page of the Andorian Star quickly and frowned.  On his
lean and hawk-like face, the expression was intimidating.  "I did not think it was a
good idea to allow that gadfly from the Star an interview," he said.
     Senator Sedalia, not one to be intimidated, shook his head.  "He struck just the
right note," the Lord Protector argued.  "Concern but not suspicion or alarm--yet.
After all, there may be a reasonable explanation for the king's failure to act.  We
have given them an opening to make that explanation."  He leaned back in his chair
and propped his heels on footstool.  Nowhere but at the Lenpro guildhouse was there a
chair so perfectly suited to him, and he intended to enjoy it while he could.  All
too soon, he would be headed back for Andor and the Royal Palace.  The rain drumming
on the roof did not make that an enticing prospect.  Memory of the shiftyeyed clerks
and minor ministers he'd met on the last trip was also depressing.
     "That insolent puppy of a reporter even quoted me!" Lenpro growled.
     Sedalia picked up his own copy of the tabloid and scanned the short article
quickly.

          + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Star #101 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Iaye:
     In an interview yesterday, Senator Sedalia stated that he had gone to Andor with
the intention of requesting the King's aid for the coastal areas battered by the
dramatic and tempestuous waves resulting from the sinking of Krael.
     "I and my colleagues felt that the devastation along the coast is properly a
matter for the King's attention," the senator and lord protector said.  "We did not
go seeking a hand-out, but only a helping hand."
     A spokesman at the Royal Palace, who declined to identify himself when queried
on Sedalia's visit, said that the matter had been "taken under advisement."  No
further development of this position could be obtained in Andor.
     Senator Sedalia's manager, Lenpro of Iaye, told this reporter that, "We will
pursue this matter."
     Anyone with information that might be of assistance is invited to communicate
with the Andorian Star office.

     "There is such a thing as bad publicity," the senator acknowledged, "even though
some people claim otherwise.  But this is not it.  Concerned and firm.  All cats are
still in their bags."
     Lenpro snorted laughter.  "Have you ever tried to bag a cat and keep it there?
Word that we're up to something will be all over northwestern Alastari faster than
horses can gallop."
     "I've often thought carrier pigeons should be roasted and eaten," Sedalia
agreed.  "Besides, those rumors will work in our favor.  Anyone who even thinks they
know something will be getting in touch."
     "Tchh!"  Lenpro stood suddenly.  "Are you so much of a fool, Sedalia?  The
Assassins' Guild has been dissolved--officially.  But it has long been an arm of the
King of Andoria, and I do not believe that he--or whoever is behind him--has
dispensed with it now."
     "As a Lord Protector--" Sedalia began.
     "--You are subject to the whims of the Grey Witch," Lenpro finished.  "There is
a strong possibility that she is involved in this business.  Do you think that a Lord
Protector assassinated for prying into her business would be resurrected by her
magicians?"
     Sedalia shifted uncomfortably.  As a politician, conspiracy theories came
naturally to him, but to involve the premier magician in Alastari with one did
seem... risky.  "There are powerful magicians who aren't on her payroll," he said.
"Fandil of Ardivent, Lady Adeolar of Aruak City, Master Cho--plenty of them.  And,"
now Sedalia stood, as well, "I have been involved in politics for a lifetime and
survived it.  I am no easy target for an assassin."
     Lenpro was silent for several minutes, staring past his gladiator at the rain-
curtained window.  Finally he sighed.  "The time for caution and second thoughts has
passed," he admitted.  "We have already begun, and the blades will fall where they
may.  Be careful."

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #2 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     Senator Sedalia stood at the ferry boat's rail and waited for the mists ahead to
clear.  It was always like this when one approached the Isle of the Eye:  a bit of
mist over the water when you left the mainland, and then, faster than seemed
reasonable, you were sailing through a dense fog.  He had never really understood how
the ferry master kept a straight course through it--or if he did.  And then, the fog
thinning to mist and fading away until--
     "The Isle of the Eye," he said, waving his hand.
     Beside him, Gissanniah was silent for several minutes.  Finally she said, "I
hadn't expected it to be so... gray."
     Sedalia blinked and looked again.  He had seen the Isle before several times,
and he realized that he not really looked at it since the first time.  Though the
mist had cleared, the sky overhead was cloudy.  What light got through was, indeed,
gray.  And Talahya, THE city on the Isle (only Free Blades in Lirin Kiv and Darkholm
in Willow Beach were located elsewhere than in Talahya), was, at best, "picturesque."
It was too crowded to be beautiful now, if it ever had been.  Crowded with gladiators
who had, the senator knew, many virtues which did not include civic housekeeping.
The city was crowded, dirty, and on the waterfront run-down.  Under this leaden
sky... he glanced sideways at his young companion and tried to imagine what it was
like to see Talahya for the first time in this gloomy light.  Not inspiring, that
much was clear.  "It's better when the sun shines," he offered.
     Gissanniah shrugged.  "I guess.  Not that it really matters.  It isn't like I'm
going to be STAYING here.  We just want to talk to the king and then go home.  But
what I do NOT understand is why HE stays here."
     "No more do I," Sedalia said.  "The business of the Isle is dueling and nothing
else.  That the king should visit an arena occasionally is one thing.  But to take up
residence here?  The king's business is to govern the Andorian League, and every day
spent on the Isle is a day he's not doing his job.  And he's been here now for...
years.  I don't even know how long!"  The senator's mouth set in grim lines.  "Time
to remind him of his duty."

     They arrived on the Isle at midday, and it took most of the rest of that time to
work their way through the layers of petty officials to the final secretary, an
elderly part-elf by the name of Arkinsutram, who was able to grant them an
appointment with King Mikel.  "Tomorrow morning at eleven, and see to it that you're
on time.  But no more than half an hour, mind!  The king is very busy."
     Sedalia bit back his first impulse, which was to ask, "busy doing what?"  And
his second impulse, which was to question the king's name.  "Mikel" sounded almost
right, but not quite....  Maybe he had forgotten, so long as it had been since the
king had done anything for his people.  Or maybe it was this "simplified spelling"
movement that came and went.  Not that it was likely to matter.  If he was, indeed,
the king they were to see on the morrow, he could call himself Rumplestiltskin for
all Sedalia cared.  "We will be here," he said.  "We'll be early."

     Senator Sedalia spent the evening visiting with other Consortium gladiators on
the Isle.  And why not?  They were here, they were in some degree colleagues of his,
and you could never know when a few extra votes would make the difference between
victory and defeat.  Or who might have noticed some little detail that would provide
the key to handling the situation.
     As it happened, it was Brujah, a newly arrived graduate who had not yet fought
on the Isle, who raised the critical question.  "What about the oath, Senator?" she
asked.  Seeing his raised eyebrows, she went on, "I have not fought here yet, so I
have not yet taken the oath which all MUST take before entering an arena on the Isle.
But I've heard others take it, and seen more than I heard.  That oath is... binding.
Seriously binding.  Everyone who takes it is pledged, by magic even more than honor,
to obey the Grey Witch in her every command.  I suspect that this is how she's
controlled the whole Andorian situation so far.  Anyone who takes the oath, if told
that this King Mikel is THE king of the Andorian League and that his decisions are
not to be questioned must be unable to question them.  She--or anyone properly
designated by her, I would suppose--must be able even to command a Lord Protector to
attack his own manager or teammates and be obeyed.  All of Alastari, through
believing her at first to have their best interests at heart, and then through not
paying attention to the details, has put this terrible weapon in the Grey Witch's
hands.  How will you fight it, Senator Sedalia?  You have fought here, you have taken
the oath."
     The senator cleared his throat and blushed a little.  "I'm a politician," he
said.  "Oaths..." he snapped his fingers.  "I'm not making light of your warning, I
will definitely remember it and take it into account, but it is very nearly
impossible to bind a politicial with an oath.  I believe I have free action in this
matter, and I know that my companion, Gissanniah, has never fought here and so has
taken no oath."
     "Such might see to your own free will," Lady Huntsman said.  She was a graduate
of his own team, the Lenpros of Iaye.  "But what will you do if I, or Cardinal
Arizpe, or some other is commanded to attack you?"
     "I believe you underestimate the slipperyness of a politician, my lady," the
Cardinal said from across the room.  "I've no doubt he would fight if we cornered
him, but that is easier said than done, eh?"
     Sedalia nodded.  "Just so.  And the oath may not bind you all with equal
strength, or any of you quite so much as you think."
     "True," Brujah conceded at once.  "We won't know until it's tested.  And then it
will be too late if the binding IS strong enough to compel us."
     "So we will evade the need for that test for as long as may be," the senator
said.

     Senator Sedalia and Gissanniah were at the White Tower early.  "Better to spend
some time waiting," the senator said, "than arrive on time and find our appointment
had been preponed and we missed it."
     "Prepone?  Is that a word?"
     "Yes.  Prepone or antipone, either one, they go with postpone as the reverse
case."  He dismissed that issue with a gesture.  "As it is, here we are and--"
     The door at the rear of the waiting room opened.  The man who stood there was
completely unmemorable, a perfect bureaucratic type... except for his eyes.  Dark,
and sharp as nails.  He seemed surprised them, and he frowned.  "Sedalia from Iaye?"
     "In person," the senator said, standing.  "If the king is ready to see us now,
we--"
     "The king cannot see you at all," the bureaucrat said.  "He is unwell and needs
his rest."
     "His kingdom is unwell and needs his attention," Sedalia countered.
     The man's eyes darkened further, sharpened further.  No one but a politician
could have stood up to that piercing scrutiny without a twitch.  "The king cannot see
you," he repeated.
     "So be it, can we see him?"
     "I said--"
     "Just see him, to verify his presence.  Proof of life," the senator said.
"There are people in the Andorian League who have begun to question his continued
survival."
     "I, who am the Master of the White Tower for the Lady Sheila, say the king lives
and is here, but ill.  This is enough.  Who would question me?"
     "Many people across the Andorian League, I should think.  Come now, it would be
a simple matter to just let us take a quick look in on him.  No need to disturb him,
all we need is to SEE him."
     "You are impertinent.  It is impossible.  Leave."  He stepped back into the room
behind him, of which they had no glimpse, and shut the door.
     "That was a very strange encounter," Sedalia said.  "Do you think--?"
     "I think we should do as we were told and leave," Gissanniah said.  "Without
discussion."  Dropping her voice to just above a whisper, she added, "The walls may
have ears."
     "Ah.  Yes, silly of me not to have thought of that."  He held open the outer
door for her.  "It seems a shame to return to Iaye--or wherever--without more
information, but I can't see that we have any other options.  Waiting around here...
I don't think that paper-pusher is going to soften and let us in, do you?"
     "Not in this lifetime!"  Gissanniah turned toward the ferry.  Or, at least,
toward the road that would eventually take them to the ferry.  "I don't like the feel
of this place, and the sooner I'm away from it, the happier I'll be."
     "Quite understandable, dear lady," the senator said.  He fell into step beside
her.  They walked in silence for a block.  Two blocks.  The traffic was lighter than
it had been the day before, the district around the White Tower seeming almost
deserted.  It occurred to Sedalia that this could have a sinister implication, and he
peered searchingly into every alley they passed, every mist-shrouded doorway.
"Something is wrong here," he said quietly.
     Beside him, Gissanniah shivered and put her hand on the hilt of her sword.
"There's going to be an ambush," she said just as quietly.  "That Master of the White
Tower does not want us taking any news to the people of the League."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 294): LORD BYRON of SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 590): SELIA STORM of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 589): MOLYNEUX of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 582): DONDRIC of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 579): MITCHELL PAIGE of MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 578): KEG STAND of BARHOPPERS (Apex, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 575): CAYLON MCCANN of STEEL CRUSADE (Cassius Calvata, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 571): DON FRANCIS of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 541): ELDA MAINZ of BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 532): RAMBLING OX of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 523): NIVIX of INFERNAL LORDS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 242): BYRON of SITTEES (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 425): ATRION of THE EXILED ONES (Darklock, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 195): BENITO CHATTE of THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 475): AXLY HIMSELF of GERFEL'S FRIENDS (Generalissimo Puerco)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 294): SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 590): NEVERWAKE (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 589): OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 582): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 579): MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 578): MASTERS OF SIN (Sin, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 575): STEEL CRUSADE (Cassius Calvata, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 571): RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 541): BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 532): TEMPLARZ HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 523): THE ZEN ZONE (Jondeaux, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 242): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 425): THE EXILED ONES (Darklock, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 195): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 475): SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                   ----------------
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 590): SELIA STORM of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
                               SAFFRON SKUNK of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
                   (turn 589): FLEA BAG of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 587): 100% of NO-HALF STEPPING (?, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 578): MANUEL PEREZ of MEDAL OF HONOR A3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 571): DON FRANCIS of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
                         JACK STRAW of THE WARLOCKS (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 523): NIVIX of INFERNAL LORDS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 242): PAS DE QUARTIER of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Khalhums Dwarf was sent back to the little hole in the ground that he came from, and
none too soon, I might add.  I was starting to get a kink in my back from bending
down to look him in the eye, and that was making me a tad irritable.  Not at all like
my usual self.  But when the dust settled (most of which was on the Dwarf) I was
still at the top.  Nothing to write home about, I know, but hey, a win is a win, as
Calvata would say, so I'm not knocking it.

It is good to see Golden Canyon back in form, and also nice to hear that the Ultra
Violent plan to stay around for a while, food metaphors or not.  Buys are nice, but
there's nothing like the real thing, as they say.

Caylon McCann

                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings warriors!  It is I, Zontani Sharp Eyes, here to bring report of the 
clash and bustle of the weekly CALEAM games.  Former top team STEEL CRUSADE was 
unseated this week as ULTRA-VIOLENT moved up from 2nd ranking to take the top spot 
with a 4-1-0 record for the round.  SHORT ORDER JOE caught the eye of many in the 
gladiatorial commission as he skillfully bested CNUT CNUKLZ and was awarded 14 points 
in recognition.  In one of the week's more notable duels, SHORT ORDER JOE put down 
CNUT CNUKLZ, causing him to lose 11 points of recognition in the process.  Although 
KHALHUMS DWARF made a valiant effort, it did not suffice to topple the reign of 
victorious CAYLON MCCANN.  No confirmation, but my sources claim that the top team 
has gained their position using magical aids.  Charmed weapons perhaps?   
     But come now, let us look deeper into the maze of contention and crossed blades 
that is city CALEAM.  CALEAM, city of gladiators!  Mighty among the names of thy 
guilds is GOLDEN CANYON, a guild shunned and avoided by many in the weekly duels.  
Methinks more than a few here could name the guild it was that spent the better part 
of last week avoiding GOLDEN CANYON.  Indeed it was STEEL CRUSADE.  Loose talk at the 
arena has reached my ears and it but confirms the knowledge that many fighters are 
after MOLDRAUN.  Watch your back!  A match that raised a few eyebrows at the games 
this week, it seems that CALONYMUS posted a challenge against the more highly 
recognized MOLDRAUN.  The results, you ask?  Well, the firebrand CALONYMUS was 
defeated by MOLDRAUN.  Remember warriors, this is the discipline of steel.   
     Vendettas.  Bloodied blades and broken spears.  Indeed the city has seen more 
than its fair share of red in recent times.  Dark alleys may hide both secrets and 
assassins.  In the arena there is only the brightness of steel.  Keep vigil always!   
     A thought before I go.  Each warrior practices one style, but must not the wise 
manager learn the secrets of them all?  More than a sharp eye must I keep, indeed a 
stout pair of legs must I keep as well!  The endless paths of Alastari await me!  
Till next we meet remember - the pen is mightier than the sword, but a maul is a 
different story!-- Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CAYLON MCCANN 4728           19  29  1   122       STEEL CRUSADE (477)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 UP-CHUCKY 4722               14  10  0   116       STEEL CRUSADE (477)
 MOLDRAUN 4740                17   9  0    96       GOLDEN CANYON (290)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CALONYMUS 4721               11  11  0    66       STEEL CRUSADE (477)
 SUZETTE CREPPAY 4746         11   1  1    60       GOLDEN CANYON (290)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SHORT ORDER JOE 4745          9   6  0    50       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
 CNUT CNUKLZ 4747              5   5  0    38       STEEL CRUSADE (477)
 KETTELMAN 4749                4   2  0    36       GOLDEN CANYON (290)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 COROT TORO 4743               7  11  0    35       GOLDEN CANYON (290)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FLESH FLAYER 4751             3   0  1    28       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
 SKULL SPLITTER 4753           3   0  0    28       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
 GUT BUSTER 4750               2   1  0    25       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DINK GRUNTLING 4748           5   5  0    20       STEEL CRUSADE (477)
 HEART BREAKER 4752            2   1  0    15       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
 BONE CRUSHER 4754             2   1  0    15       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?

                                     PERSONAL ADS

What I tell you?  Veteran Mercenary still fight like big sissy.  Ha! -- Up-Chucky

Moldraun -- Hold on a minute...I thought Caylon was the melon guy.  Keep those things
away from me!  You know I am allergic to melons. -- Calonymus

Corot Toro -- What?  You gave up on painting?  Apparently Gut Buster wasn't all that
impressed with your old family recipe, regardless of the arrangement of the peppers.
It just goes to show you, there's no accounting for tastes, is there.  Maybe you
should just stick to your easel and canvases. -- Cnut (more sophisticated than the
name implies) Cnuklz

Suzette -- Don't you folks at the Canyon believe in canning?  Blackberry syrup cans
well and keeps a long time.  Not around me, of course, but if you wanted to save some
up, you could.  Yeah. -- Cnut

Moldraun -- Personally I've never eaten an ethnic.  How do you cook one? -- Caylon

Suzette --  Serving me pancakes with hot sauce, disguised as orange syrup!  My eyes
watered so badly I couldn't see a thing.  Very sneaky!  I'm not sure that is fair,
and as soon as my eyes stop tearing up, I will check the rule book  -- Dink (somebody
find me a pear!) Gruntling

Short Order Joe -- Some days you get the Orc, and some days you get me.  At least I
tip better. -- Cnut

Kettleman -- What will you be doing with all those Bones?  Soup stock, maybe? -- Dink
Gruntling

Cnut Cnuklz -- The women are talking about doing a "Golden Canyon Cookbook" to raise
money for people displaced by the tidal wave.  Sounds pretty weird to me, and like
it'd be a lot of work, eh?  And no way, despite suggestions for ALL my teammates, am
I going to develop a "cnut-burger" for it in honor of this fight. -- Short Order Joe
P.S.  To think this all started with a fight against a Philanthropist named after the
smaynurn figs.  Just goes to show.

Gut Buster -- Stuffed turkey, hmm?  Don't care for it, myself.  Too often it's dry.
Hmm.  If the turkey were larded with bacon strips, though...I'll have to think about
that.  Sausage and cornbread stuffing, I believe.  Hmm.  There may be something in
this. -- Corot Toro
P.S.  Ultra-violent is a very difficult color to work with.  Nothing really
complements it except infernal-red.

Calonymus -- I have heard that melons have been found to be harboring Sam-and-Ella!
What do you have to say about this? -- Moldraun

Calonymus -- If I were you, I'd make a strong claim to the "candied ginger" link and
eschew melons for the next little while.  Moldraun gets so wound up. -- Golderie

Dink Gruntling -- I'm still not sure that pickles go with potato cakes.  Beside them,
maybe, but not in them. -- Suzette Creppay

Bone Crusher -- It feels odd now to be fighting someone other than the Steel Crusade.
Still, your idea of crushing bones for marrow to make a soup stock is not without
merit.  But they have to be FRESH bones, you know. -- Kettelman

Caylon McCann -- Sounds delicious, we'll be there. -- all of us at Golden Canyon
P.S.  You may not realize it, but we look forward to doing personals for this arena.
We read in cookbooks before we ever reach for the fights.  And we really appreciate
your willingness to meet us on this topic in the personals.

Cnut Cnucklz -- Yes, I could've, if I'd wanted to.  I was wearing one of those "bite-
guard" things.  Tastes awful, and then I have to drink a glass of wine after the
fight no matter how it ends.  Gee, I can barely stand that! -- Corot Toro

Dinkanator -- Have you considered patenting that?  I believe it might be a winner. --
Kettelman
P.S.  I could certainly use on in MY kitchen.

Calonymus -- I fully agree.  The rhubarb pie we were offered was...not the best.  In
fact, we took one small bite and suggested the chef (a visitor) might enjoy it more
at home. -- Moldraun
P.S.  But we were polite.

Dink -- Vegetable sausages?  Hmm.  I've heard of soy sausage, but I view it with a
certain amount of suspicion.  Well, I view anything soy with a certain amount of
suspicion, except woostershure sauce.  Are you merely anti-sausage, or ovo-lacto
vegetarian, or pure vegan, or what? -- Suzette

Deep Thought -- Glad to have you.  The standbys have NO food sense.  New faces will
be good.  Drop by the Golden Canyon Saloon to share the buffet after the fights.
Always something new. -- Jorja, mgr. Golden Canyon
P.S.  Of course, mostly we don't fight standbys, we fight each other, both here and
in (sigh) Andorak.  Very quiet places.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CALONYMUS was devastated by MOLDRAUN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
DINK GRUNTLING was viciously subdued by COROT TORO in a 3 minute Challenge battle.
CAYLON MCCANN savagely defeated KHALHUMS DWARF in a 3 minute expert's Title fight.
UP-CHUCKY overpowered VIRGINAL CONCUBINE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
CNUT CNUKLZ was bested by SHORT ORDER JOE in a 2 minute brawl.
SUZETTE CREPPAY vanquished AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
GUT BUSTER was beaten by KETTELMAN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute brawl.
BONE CRUSHER overpowered FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a 1 minute uneven melee.
FLESH FLAYER vanquished SHIFTYEYED VOLUNTEER in a 1 minute uneven duel.
HEART BREAKER overpowered FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a 1 minute uneven duel.
SKULL SPLITTER overpowered FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         SLASHING ATTACK    1 -   0 -  1     100  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         WALL OF STEEL     21 -   5 -  1      81  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         STRIKING ATTACK   12 -   7 -  0      63  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         LUNGING ATTACK    14 -   9 -  0      61  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-LUNGE       16 -  11 -  0      59  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         TOTAL PARRY        5 -   5 -  0      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         BASHING ATTACK     2 -   2 -  0      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -   6 -  0      45  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  0         AIMED BLOW         0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 576 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  2         4  WALL OF STEEL  
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         2  STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      4 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  0         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  1         1  PARRY-STRIKE   

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  UP-CHUCKY 4722             14  10  0  116 STEEL CRUSADE (477)
LUNGING ATTACK   MOLDRAUN 4740              17   9  0   96 GOLDEN CANYON (290)
WALL OF STEEL    SUZETTE CREPPAY 4746       11   1  1   60 GOLDEN CANYON (290)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is CAYLON MCCANN 4728.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was CAYLON MCCANN 4728.  The ten other most popular fighters were KETTELMAN 
4749, MOLDRAUN 4740, COROT TORO 4743, SHORT ORDER JOE 4745, SUZETTE CREPPAY 4746, 
FLESH FLAYER 4751, HEART BREAKER 4752, SKULL SPLITTER 4753, UP-CHUCKY 4722, and CNUT 
CNUKLZ 4747.

The least popular fighter this week was DINK GRUNTLING 4748.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were CALONYMUS 4721, BONE CRUSHER 4754, GUT BUSTER 4750, CNUT CNUKLZ 
4747, UP-CHUCKY 4722, SKULL SPLITTER 4753, HEART BREAKER 4752, FLESH FLAYER 4751, 
SUZETTE CREPPAY 4746, and SHORT ORDER JOE 4745.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

UP-CHUCKY (26-4722) STEEL CRUSADE (477)