Date   : 05/26/2008    Duedate: 06/07/2008


DM-26    TURN-580

This Weeks Top Honors


(26-4721) [14-12-0,98]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

CALONYMUS                      GUT BUSTER
STEEL CRUSADE (477)            ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
(26-4721) [14-12-0,98]         (26-4750) [5-2-0,56]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

CALONYMUS                      HEART BREAKER
STEEL CRUSADE (477)            ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
(26-4721) [14-12-0,98]         (26-4752) [5-2-0,49]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)         35
2. STEEL CRUSADE (477)         33      GOLDEN CANYON (290)
3. MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)     13      Unchartered Team
4. CHESS PIECES 8 (480)         0
5. GOLDEN CANYON (290)         -5      MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)    8   2  0 80.0   1/ 1 GOLDEN CANYON (290)      10  5 0
 2/ 2*ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)       23  11  1 67.6   2/ 3*MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)   8  2 0
 3/ 3 GOLDEN CANYON (290)      632 766 22 45.2   3/ 4 STEEL CRUSADE (477)       6  7 1
 4/ 4 STEEL CRUSADE (477)      152 190  7 44.4   4/ 2*ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)       6  8 0
 5- 5*CHESS PIECES 8 (480)       0   1  0  0.0   5- 5*CHESS PIECES 8 (480)      0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #6 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

The Isle of the Eye:

     Four steps into the woods and they couldn't see the clearing and the cart, or
hear even the distant murmuring of voices.  It wasn't that the undegrowth was heavy,
it was just... as though there was a barrier of some kind which they had just
crossed.  And it was hotter in here under the trees, with the air absolutely
motionless.  Even to speak here seemed like it would be an offense.
     Whispering, Gissanniah said, "We should go back.  Closer to the edge, where we
can still see out."
     Senator Sedalia considered arguing, good, solid arguments such as that they
didn't want to risk someone seeing in and spotting them.  He shook his head.
Gissanniah was right, the risk of getting lost here was worse.  He looked down.  His
feet were pressed into the leaf mold under the trees, and would leave visible
footprints.  Starting here.  There were no other visible footprints marking their
entry into the woods.  "Which way is back?"

Halfway between Seam and Tarrgir:

     Lenpro looked at Fandil and raised an eyebrow in question.
     Fandil shook his head.  "I've no idea what's going on here.  I can't think of
any reason for a... a guard post on this road.  It isn't a border."
     Lenpro considered that and shook his head.  "It is, though.  The border between
the Clanholds and Convincia must run right along here."
     "Not an external border," Fandil insisted.  "There's no reason to patrol an
     "Let's ask them."  Lenpro nodded at the soldiers standing in the road ahead.
"In fact, we'd better go up to them before they decide our hesitation here is
suspicious!"  He nudged his horse with a heel, walking it forward.
     The soldiers formed up to make it clear that no one was to pass without their
approval, and an officer stepped out in front of them to meet the travelers.
     Fandil nodded politely to them all and said, "Good day.  What's afoot here?"
     "We've orders to turn back any Aruaki who try to leave the Clanhold territory,"
the officer said.  He was firm, but not belligerent.  For him, clearly, it was just a
case of doing his job.
     "Why?" Lenpro asked.
     The officer shrugged.  "I am not privy to policy.  All I have are the orders."
     "How do you tell for sure that someone is or is not Aruaki?" Fandil asked,
looking around for a magician.
     "We have been provided with a device."  The officer's tone was a little sour,
now.  He gestured at a framework of three poles, two vertical with the third uniting
the upper ends.  It was about the size of a normal doorway.  "If you pass through
that without setting off the alarm, then you have no Aruaki blood and are free to go 
on into Convincia."
     "Doesn't that seem a little unfair?" Fandil asked.
     "No.  It seems like a very clear order from my superior officer.  I have been
told the Aruaki are still carrying the plague of shape-changing," he added, "and the
gods know how much damage they did among normal people when they Changed and went
     Fandil opened his mouth to argue further, but Lenpro stopped him.  "This man has
his orders and must obey them," the Iayean manager pointed out.  Our quarrel, if we
have one--there's a lot of point in that business of the plague, you know--our
quarrel must be with those who established the policy and issued the orders."
     "I don't like it," Fandil growled.  "But you're right."  He sighed, nodded an
apology to the soldier, and dismounted to walk through the test-doorway.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 296): UNHOLY TERROR of BLOOD RITES (Wretch, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 594): CHIEF SITTING BULL of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 593): GINKOR of THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 586): JEROME of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 583): MIRESSEA POOLE of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 582): KEG STAND of BARHOPPERS (Apex, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 579): CALONYMUS of STEEL CRUSADE (Cassius Calvata, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 575): PRIVATE PERNA of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 545): LON CHANEY JR. of MEN OF 1,000 FACES (Mad Max, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 536): RAMBLING OX of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 527): BANNIR PARK of BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 244): PAINFUL PANSY of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 429): ATRION of THE EXILED ONES (Darklock, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 197): TRYPTOPHAN of SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 479): AXLY HIMSELF of GERFEL'S FRIENDS (Generalissimo Puerco)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 296): THE ANIMALS (The Zoo Keeper, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 594): ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 593): ALL THE MUN'S MEN (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 586): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 583): MEDAL OF HONOR F3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 582): MASTERS OF SIN (Sin, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 279): GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 575): RED DOG GANG (Jojra, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 545): BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 536): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 527): FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 244): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 429): BIBLICAL HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 197): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 479): SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 296): HAMMURABI of SMITHSONIAN (Curator, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 594): WALK THE LINE of ELFQUEST (Armalias, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 586): JEROME OF KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 583): MIRESSEA POOLE of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 578): MOLDRAUN of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
                           CAYLON MCCANN of STEEL CRUSADE (Cassius Calvata, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 575): FENCE POST of RED DOG GANG (Jojra, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 544): ELDA MAINZ of BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 526): CUTTER of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 243): IGOR MALMORT of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 196): I OF THE KNEE DOLL of HAZAARDS OF CLONGING (Crip, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Sven, the Cap'n, Up-Chucky, and Caylon...and now it is my turn.  Gotta try to be a
good example for the new guys.

Suzette, it does seem funny that I got here by beating you.  Well not funny, but not
usual either.  It's only happened twice.  I did try to warn you about the ginger,
though. Sigh.

And I see Joe has a lean and hungry look...strange for a grill master!  I'm going to
have to come up with something special for him.  Wish I had Winstead's culinary
talent.  What should it be?  Well, he seems to like gravy, so maybe a nice openface
roast beef sandwich with a side of mashed?  And the bread, perhaps a nice Hungarian
White?  Good crumb, toothsome, and with a crust not quite so chewy as Italian.
Perfect.  I will start at once.


                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings, Warriors of CALEAM.  Allow this humble servant Novgorodny Vir to give 
you a respite from the fights in the form of this Spyreport.  Good things come to 
those who fight well, as STEEL CRUSADE can attest, moving up by 1.  ULTRA-VIOLENT had 
cause to celebrate, after HEART BREAKER got 22 points by beating KETTELMAN.  
KETTELMAN certainly had a baffled expression on his face, after losing to HEART 
BREAKER and losing 16 points in the process!  SHORT ORDER JOE found out that CALEAM 
isn't a democracy.  You've gotta be the best to be Duelmaster here!  So who was the 
warrior seen charging into immovable walls and challenging dead trees?  Someone's got 
a basic problem...   
     And how sociable are CALEAM's warriors?  Come, let us see.  Is it charming 
personality?  Conversational abilities?  Good oral hygiene?  Whatever it is, DINK 
GRUNTLING is the most challenged warrior.   
     Like the wind whispering among the pines, do hearest I many disquieting rumors.  
More than one waitress at The Dripping Blade was spilling more drinks than usual last 
week, as BONE CRUSHER's early demise became known.  What will ULTRA-VIOLENT do???  
Questions are being raised about the disposing of severed body parts in the arena.  A 
certain tavern in CALEAM would I avoid!   
     All good things must come to an end.  As if buffeted by forces of nature beyond 
my control, I must take my leave of this place.  Like a mixed metaphor, and an 
overtaxed simile, I now bid CALEAM farewell-- Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CALONYMUS 4721               14  12  0    98       STEEL CRUSADE (477)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SUZETTE CREPPAY 4746         14   2  1    67       GOLDEN CANYON (290)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SHORT ORDER JOE 4745         12   7  0    64       GOLDEN CANYON (290)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GUT BUSTER 4750               5   2  0    56       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
 HEART BREAKER 4752            5   2  0    49       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
 DINK GRUNTLING 4748           7   6  0    42       STEEL CRUSADE (477)
 FLESH FLAYER 4751             4   3  1    40       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
 COROT TORO 4743               8  14  0    38       GOLDEN CANYON (290)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CNUT CNUKLZ 4747              6   8  1    33       STEEL CRUSADE (477)
 HARRY MICHAEL 4766            2   0  0    26       MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)
 KETTELMAN 4749                6   4  0    25       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
 HERSHEL WILLIAMS 4767         2   0  0    24       MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SOLDIER 22 4768               2   0  0    21       MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)
 SPITZIN 4772                  1   0  0    16       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
 KNEE BREAKER 4770             1   1  0    15       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
-ROOK 4763                     0   1  0     7       CHESS PIECES 8 (480)
 SOLDIER 23 4765               1   1  0     4       MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)
 HOMER WISE 4764               1   1  0     4       MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)
 JUSTIN THYME 4769             0   2  0     2       STEEL CRUSADE (477)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
BONE CRUSHER 4754       4  3 0 ULTRA-VIOLENT 479    CNUT CNUKLZ 4747      580   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Steel Crusade -- Thanks for the thought on Skull Splitter, he will be missed (as will
his sweet breads...mmm).  He was a WOS with 10(11)-10(11)-16-17-15-3-13, and I had
high hopes for him. -- Deep Thought

Short Order Joe -- Let me know when you're gonna serve it on such a hot plate, had to
soak my hands for an hour after that. -- Flesh Flayer

These new guys are certainly a taciturn lot. -- Calvata

Gut Buster -- Next time I will ask for a doggie bag.  You were too much for me. --
Dink (looking for the bi-carb) Gruntling

Kettleman -- Hey, all I did was lift the lid to get a wiff of what you had in the
kettle.  You didn't have to go and rap my knuckles with that big ladle.  Pretty
touchy, if you ask me...it's not like I was gonna adjust the seasoning or anything.
Yeah. -- Cnut

Temp Ed. -- My Seam archives cover the first 50+ turns, more or less. -- Calvata

Soldier 23 -- Clones!  I can't stand clones!  Get a name! -- Justin Thyme

Moldraun -- Well, I guess I will be going into retirement.  Even though Sven and the
Cap'n and Up-Chucky keep asking me to join em, I just can't see myself going on as a
fighter.  Oh, I'll keep in shape and all, but I figure the best part of being
immortal is that you have time to experiment with other things.  I'm thinking of
taking up the zither, or maybe the harmonica.  Best of luck on the breakfast venture.
Most important meal of the day. -- Caylon

Caylon McCann -- I believe we may have been too harsh at the Offical Graduation
Banquet?  I grant you the menu was uninspired.  Chicken a la Pageboy with Bitter
Spring Greens in aspic was... depressing.  But you have to remember that it takes a
particularly dull and plodding mind to work for the Commission in the first place,
and they were most likely literally unable to conceive of a more interesting meal.
(Gods, imagine their home life!)  But I did enjoy that last brawl with you, beating
the clerks over the head with chicken legs and stuffing their mouths full of the
aspic.  I'm told that my teammates on the Isle have started a little cafe on the
shore south of the city, part way to Lirin Kiv.  Perhaps we can get together there
for a more enjoyable meal--although I suspect brawling in THAT dining room would be a
bad plan.  Clemmie has a "thing" against food fights. -- Moldraun

Calonymus -- That's probably what I get for not sticking to the tried and true, isn't
it?  But I guess I just hadn't realized how different tempura batter would be.  Back
to pancakes for me! -- Suzette Creppay

Cnut Cnuklez -- Thanks, I had never encountered pasta in that form before.  I may be
able to do something tasty and decorative with it, and if so, you'll be the first I
call on for taste-testing. -- Kettelman

Flesh Flayer -- Generally, this is a good thing to do before cooking, unless one is
making cracklings or some such.  And the whole deep-fat-frying thing, it isn't me.
Did you know that you can absorb fat calories through your skin and lungs if you boil
it like that?  No way I want to get fat if I can't at least TASTE something. -- Short
Order Joe

Bone Crusher -- Those reporters!  Talking about me wanting to make it a "death
match."  No such thing.  I don't want your life, what would I do with it?  Just your
bones.  This scrimshaw stuff is habit-forming. -- Corot Toro

Caylon -- Loris tells me that she found a place down in Darkholm that does barbecue
fish!  She says it's good.  From anyone else, I'd doubt that, but she does know a
thing or two about meat.  Maybe we should plan on checking it out. -- Moldraun

Cnut -- Me, too.  Darned if I know what the purpose of the mushrooms is.  Some soups

with unexpected ingredients can be surprisingly good (remind me to make a pot of
borscht one of these days), but mushrooms just don't have any taste to work with. --

Calonymus -- Candied ginger, honey, and a hint of lemon, I think.  A syrup for
waffles or fratsfan toast. -- Suzette

Sven -- No, sorry.  Jorja mostly never does contests. -- Moldraun et al

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

DINK GRUNTLING bested COROT TORO in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
CNUT CNUKLZ butchered BONE CRUSHER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
JUSTIN THYME was handily defeated by SOLDIER 22 in a 1 minute Challenge match.
CALONYMUS vanquished SHORT ORDER JOE in a 1 minute gory mismatched Title brawl.
SUZETTE CREPPAY overpowered FLESH FLAYER in a 1 minute mismatched match.
KETTELMAN was devastated by HEART BREAKER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute one-sided duel.
GUT BUSTER devastated RUTHLESS JAYWALKER in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
HERSHEL WILLIAMS handily defeated FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a 1 minute uneven melee.
HOMER WISE was vanquished by SPITZIN in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
SOLDIER 23 was vanquished by KNEE BREAKER in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
HARRY MICHAEL overpowered FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a 1 minute uneven match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         AIMED BLOW         2 -   0 -  0     100  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         STRIKING ATTACK   14 -   4 -  0      78  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         WALL OF STEEL     23 -  11 -  1      68  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         LUNGING ATTACK    20 -  13 -  1      61  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -   4 -  0      56  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         PARRY-LUNGE       15 -  12 -  0      56  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         BASHING ATTACK     5 -   4 -  0      56  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         TOTAL PARRY        4 -   5 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  0         SLASHING ATTACK    0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 580 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         1 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  3         3  PARRY-LUNGE    
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         3  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-LUNGE      CALONYMUS 4721             14  12  0   98 STEEL CRUSADE (477)
WALL OF STEEL    SUZETTE CREPPAY 4746       14   2  1   67 GOLDEN CANYON (290)
LUNGING ATTACK   GUT BUSTER 4750             5   2  0   56 ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
TOTAL PARRY      DINK GRUNTLING 4748         7   6  0   42 STEEL CRUSADE (477)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is CALONYMUS 4721.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was HEART BREAKER 4752.  The ten other most popular fighters were SOLDIER 22 4768, 

The least popular fighter this week was SOLDIER 23 4765.  The other ten least popular 
BREAKER 4770, and SPITZIN 4772.

                  MAIL-IN TOURNEY XLV

PRIMUS TOURNEY                         W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
CARTHORIS JEDDAK 2376 (97-66-1)        1  4  0         FIGHTING MEN OF MARS 

CONTENDERS TOURNEY                     W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
JE SUIS BIEN 626 (139-96-1)            5  3  0         HEADBANGERS          
GIGGY 728 (82-125-1)                   1  4  0         HEADBANGERS          

ELIGIBLES TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
VISION 1573 (115-53-4)                 1  2  0         KELLUMBO'S KIDS      

ADM TOURNEY                            W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
ENLIGHTENED BEING 4642 (28-12-0)       1  3  0         PHILANTHROPISTS      

FRESHMEN TOURNEY                       W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
ARTHUR BEYER 4648 (23-11-1)            6  3  0         MEDAL OF HONOR VI    

APPRENTICES TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
BONE CRUSHER 4754 (3-1-0)              2  3  0         ULTRA-VIOLENT        
FLESH FLAYER 4751 (4-0-1)              1  3  1         ULTRA-VIOLENT        
GUT BUSTER 4750 (3-1-0)                1  3  0         ULTRA-VIOLENT        
SKULL SPLITTER 4753 (4-0-0)            0  1  0  DEAD   ULTRA-VIOLENT        

ROOKIES TOURNEY                        W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
ROOK 4763 (0-0-0)                      3  3  0         CHESS PIECES 8       

APPRENTICES FOOL TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
HEART BREAKER 4752 (3-1-0)             0  3  0         ULTRA-VIOLENT