Date   : 06/22/2009    Duedate: 07/04/2009


DM-26    TURN-608

This Weeks Top Honors


(26-4750) [22-10-0,98]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

GUT BUSTER                     POSITION IS EMPTY
ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)            
(26-4750) [22-10-0,98]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

KETTELMAN                      ACID PEEL
GOLDEN CANYON (290)            ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
(26-4749) [17-21-1,75]         (26-4796) [0-1-0,1]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)     24
2. ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)         14      MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)
3. GOLDEN CANYON (290)         13      Unchartered Team
4. MENAGERIE (228)            -34
                                       ROGAINE (341)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 2 MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)   67  32  4 67.7   1/ 1 MENAGERIE (228)          10  3 1
 2/ 1 MENAGERIE (228)          227 112 13 67.0   2/ 2 MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)   6  2 0
 3/ 3 ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)       99  57  1 63.5   3/ 3 ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)       4  5 0
 4/ 4 GOLDEN CANYON (290)      672 866 23 43.7   4/ 4 GOLDEN CANYON (290)       3 12 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #31 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     Lady Fern knew that her brothers Fandil and Lenpro were competent men, and that
they had each followed up what they considered an important point in the current
problem.  But she could not help feeling that they had, each of them, overlooked the
key to the problem, or at least the point which should have been dealt with FIRST:
the King.
     Whether the true king had died some time ago or was alive but under magical
control or any of several other possibilities, the important thing, as she saw it,
was to insure that command of the Andorian League did not fall into the wrong hands.
Yes, the causes of the problem, which Fandil thought he had a line on, needed to be
dealt with.  And yes, the secondary results of the problem such as intolerance of the
Aruaki, which Lenpro had gone out to tackle, did need to be dealt with, too.
     But the previous kings of the League had not made much effort to draw it
together into a coherent whole, and if the king failed, it would--almost must--fall
apart into its constituent parts.  Fratsfa, Convincia, Ardivent, and the Aruaki
Clanholds.  Raltumas... she shrugged.  That was probably lost.  Which, also, an
active king might have prevented.
     So she had done what seemed reasonable to her, and sent one of her Girls, the
Outcast Orchid, to Andor to find out what was going on.  It seemed so obvious.  No
magical scrying, no careful collating of reports from spies and chance travelers,
just... go and look.  She'd been tempted to make up a party drawn from several teams
here, because though her Girls were Good Girls, they were easily distracted.  But in
the end she had not.  Time enough to involve more people when she had some
information to work with.  Orchid had strict instructions not to become involved with
people along the way, just to go, see, and return to report what she had seen.  It
would have to be enough.


     Outcast Orchid leaned against a pillar along the Processional Way--whatever the
actual name of the avenue was, she didn't know or care--and waited for the King to
drive past in his carriage.  It had been a boring trip.  No fraternization with
anybody!  She understood why her manager had give that order, but it had been hard to
follow.  All the opportunities she'd passed by!  She let her eyes wander across the
crowd waiting for the king to appear.  There was a fine-looking man in the prime of
life who looked like he might know a thing or two.  And over there a young man, full
of energy, who might be a gladiator--he looked like he could hardly wait for the
king's carriage to come into view.  It was good to see someone who really cared; and
he had several more probable gladiators with him.  They must have come from one of
the Convincian arenas to see the king.  And that man over there, my, wasn't HE a cute
     A stirring in the crowd at the end of the block.  Not a cheer, but....  No, she
couldn't say what it was, exactly.  She wasn't good at finding words for stuff like
that.  Not exactly excitement, but greater attention.  Focus.  Probably the king's
carriage.  Or at least the head of the procession.
     Yes, here they came.  Guards.  Fine looking men, really fine.  Very serious,
practically stone-faced, but they were on duty, after all.  Then ordinary men in
fancy clothing.  Lesser members of the government, she guessed.  Some of them looked
like nobles, and some reminded her a LOT of Commission officials.  A bureaucrat
doesn't change from office to office.  More guards, looking more tense.
     "I was against this," a man beside her muttered.  "I told them from the
beginning that it would be better to keep it simple."
     She turned to look at him.  Oh, my, really cute!  Dark and gloomy, looked like a
poet.  She could have FUN with a man like that, but... she had her orders.
     "You think the parade is a mistake?"
     "That, too.  The more they bring their 'king' out in public, the more chance for
people to see that something's wrong.  But they have insisted on displaying... him.
No, it's this that's going to happen next.  I advised against it.  I did!  But they
WILL have their drama, and I, the gods forgive me, helped them set it up."  He shook
his head, looking more gloomy and romantical than ever.  "You should move away from
me.  I'm dangerous company."
     Orchid was going to ask him what he was talking about, but the carriage came
into view around the corner.  Okay, she could ask questions later.  Right now, her
most imperative command was to SEE.  To see the king, and report what she'd seen.
Accurately, which meant she had to pay attention here.  The carriage was moving
slowly, so she had plenty of time to observe it.
     The man on the rear seat, in the purple robes and the golden crown, must be the
king.  Who else could it be?  But she hadn't expected the crown, somehow.  She'd seen
Emperor Alonj of Fratsfa, and he didn't wear a crown.  She studied the king, if that
was him, closely.  Lady Fern would want details.  He didn't look... huh.  Not much of
anything.  Not interested in the city going past him, not bored by the parade, not
angry at something, not... anything.  Not particularly healthy, not actually sick.
He seemed so much a blank that it was disconcerting.
     "What's WRONG with him?"  She didn't realize she'd spoken out loud until she
heard the words hanging in the air.  Too late to call them back.
     "Aside from the fact that you're looking at a golem with no more mind than a
puppet?  Not a thing.  As empty golems go, it's a fairly good one."
     "A... golem?"  She turned to look at the man beside her.  "Then what happened to
the KING?"
     He shrugged.  "Nobody who's talking knows."
     He took her arm gently and turned her back toward the parade.  "Watch this."
His voice was grim.  "Watch closely, not just the 'king', and see if you can spot the
flaws.  Someone needs to know, besides me."
     Orchid focused on the carriage again, then began to look at the people closest
around it.  The neatly arrayed ranks of guards had gotten out of step and out of line
when they turned the corner back there.  Surely guards knew how to handle corners?
But they were being slow to reorganize their ranks.  The group she'd identified as
almost certainly gladiators--half a dozen of them--surged forward.  To protect--  No!
They were ATTACKING the king!  She stood for a few seconds in stunned disbelief, then
shook herself together and took a step forward.  She had to protect--
     The grip on her arm tightened, holding her back.  "No, lady, don't throw your
life away for nothing.  That is not the king, it was never the king, and this
'assassination' was arranged by--  Better, probably, if I don't tell you.  They sniff
out guilty knowledge like pig sniffing truffles.  Take what you have seen and get out
of town as quickly as you can without attracting suspicion.  Tell people--it's
important that people know what really happened here--"
     "Come with me," she said.  "You're in danger, too, aren't you?"
     "Yes, but I put myself in the path of--"
     A scream cut off his words.  She looked back.  The words of so many spy reports
ran through her head:  Blood on a purple robe may stain.  That robe was badly
stained.  But it was the gladiator-assassins who were screaming as the guards closed
around them and cut them down.  Cut them into pieces.  The pavement was awash with
     The grip on her elbow dragged her back into the concealment of the milling
crowd, then into a side street.  "Come away, lady, while you still can."

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 310): ZENITH of Z GLADIATORZ (? , mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 622): CARMEN ELECTRA of GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS (Weasel, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 621): GEORGE FOREMUN of ALL THE MUN'S MEN (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 609): HOT EIGHTEEN of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 611): LORMIN GARDE of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 608): SAML ULRON of THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 607): AMARANTH of MENAGERIE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 603): SIR CARLSON of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 572): THE FOOL of AQUARIAN TAROT (Sage, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 564): SERGEANT2 of MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 555): ANNA BEATRICE of FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 258): BRAIN TUMOR of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 454): SERGEANT2 of MEDAL OF HONOR J3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 507): WORKS 4 EVIL EMPIRE of SUPERIOR FATHER (Manager, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 310): CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 622): KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 621): ALL THE MUN'S MEN (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 609): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 611): MEDAL OF HONOOR J4 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 608): FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 607): MENAGERIE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 603): LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 573): MEDAL OF HONOOR G1 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 564): MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 555): DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 258): SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 454): 1949 YANKEES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 211): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 507): SUPERIOR FATHER et al (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 309): CONCUSSION of CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 621): LILAC LIZARD of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
                               MOCHA MONKEY of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 620): MR FANG of THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 606): SUZETTE CREPPAY of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 601): LITTLE ROCKY of RED DOG GANG (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 563): ROBERT DUNLAP of MEDAL OF HONOR H3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 210): TRYPTOPHAN of SUPERIOR FORCES ZC (Manager, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
CALEAM brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  Of course, we're all terribly 
impressed to see SOLDIER 1 win a fight and gain 11 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, NOBLE 
ASSASSIN beat JEREMY and JEREMY lost 37 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  Due to 
absence, and inability to defend the throne, AMARANTH has lost the Title of 
Duelmaster.  Start setting that alarm earlier!  And it's out with the old, in with 
the new, as GUT BUSTER takes the Title and last week's bar tab from the old 
Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  The Warty Toad, humph!  I've tasted better ale at mortuaries. 
Where do they get this stuff?  From CALEAM's trash dumps?   
     My mother always told me, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, start 
talking.' I loved that woman.  What's the big D?  MENAGERIE was the most avoided 
team?  Bunch of lily livered... grumble... mumble... curse...  And it looks like 
ULTRA-VIOLENT avoided them the most this turn.  What a pack of would be losers, if 
you ask me.  Hmph.  KETTELMAN was challenged more times this turn than the 
Duelmaster.  Now was the DM insulted or feared?  Heh, heh.   
     Death and Taxes.  The less death I see, the more it taxes my patience.  Let's 
see if anyone's dead or dying.  We're all going to die in the end, so why worry if 
the fate catches up with you sooner that later?   
     There's got to be a better place in CALEAM to get a drink than The Warty Toad!  
Any suggestions?  Phlllt!  Just had to do that before I leave the fine city of 
CALEAM.  I feel much better now.  Glad to see the back of this place-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GUT BUSTER 4750              22  10  0    98       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-FALLEN 4781                  17   3  2   136       MENAGERIE (228)
-AMARANTH 4784                14   4  1   129       MENAGERIE (228)
-SOLDIER 23 4765              15   4  0   124       MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HERSHEL WILLIAMS 4767        11   2  1    99       MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)
 THE UNFORGIVEN 4786          10   2  0    96       MENAGERIE (228)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DEATH RATTLE 4773            14  11  0    81       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
 JEREMY 4774                  16   8  1    80       MENAGERIE (228)
 SHORT ORDER JOE 4745         16  31  0    79       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
 KETTELMAN 4749               17  21  1    75       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
 COROT TORO 4743              10  40  0    70       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
 SPITZIN 4772                 15  14  0    67       GOLDEN CANYON (290)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LITHIUM 4789                  8   5  1    49       MENAGERIE (228)
 SOLDIER 1 4791                6   3  0    41       MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SOLDIER 3 4795                3   0  0    19       MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)
 SOLDIER 2 4797                1   0  0    11       MEDAL OF HONOR F7 (481)
 PASCELLA 4800                 1   0  0     5       GOLDEN CANYON (290)
 ACID PEEL 4796                0   1  0     1       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
 DISEMBOWELER 4798             0   1  0     1       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
 PAPER CUT 4799                0   1  0     1       ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
JOHN MEAGHER 4790       4  2 1 MEDAL OF HONOR F 481 LITHIUM 4789          605   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

BASH tactic?  What kind of person do the Commissioners think I AM?  Me, bashing?
THINK what that would do to a delicate pancake! -- Suzette Creppay

Fallen -- Not into my soup kettles, you aren't!  Think of the mess it would make, not
to mention the soup or stew spoiled. -- Kettelman
P.S.  And you'd get seriously scalded, too.
P.P.S.  But I'd feed you if you dropped by.

Jeremy -- Not my problem any more.  I bid you fare well here, and if we meet again on
the Isle, I'll fix breakfast. -- Suzette Creppay

Amaranth -- Ah, perhaps you will graduate now?  It seems like so much longer that
you've been here, probably because you're so visible up there.  Stop by for a burger
and fries, hmm? -- Short Order Joe

Well, you can't expect me to fight the Veteran Mercenary successfully when he comes
out in those hideously clashing colors!  I am unpleasantly susceptible to mauve,
puce, pea green, and the like. -- Corot Toro

The Unforgiven -- Especially after you ate up ALL the cookies in that batch. --

We will miss the Menagerie when it goes, but the reasons give are comprehensible and
sound.  Fare you well in other arenas. -- Jorja and the Golden Canyon

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

DEATH RATTLE slimly won victory over KETTELMAN in a 2 minute master's Challenge fight.
GUT BUSTER demolished SHORT ORDER JOE in a 1 minute gory one-sided Title melee.
JEREMY lost to NOBLE ASSASSIN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute brawl.
THE UNFORGIVEN overpowered COROT TORO in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
SPITZIN slimly won victory over LITHIUM in a 2 minute brawl.
SOLDIER 1 viciously subdued VISITING ORC in a 1 minute bloody fight.
SOLDIER 3 luckily beat DISEMBOWELER in a 2 minute gory amateur's brawl.
ACID PEEL was unbelievably bested by PASCELLA in a 7 minute beginner's melee.
SOLDIER 2 overpowered PAPER CUT in a popular 1 minute uneven duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         AIMED BLOW         7 -   3 -  0      70  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         LUNGING ATTACK    28 -  13 -  0      68  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         TOTAL PARRY        8 -   6 -  1      57  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         WALL OF STEEL     19 -  16 -  1      54  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         STRIKING ATTACK   16 -  15 -  2      52  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         BASHING ATTACK     3 -   7 -  0      30  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         PARRY-LUNGE        3 -   9 -  0      25  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   0 -  0       0  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   0         SLASHING ATTACK    0 -   1 -  0       0  |

Turn 608 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        2 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  3         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  1     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         2  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         2  AIMED BLOW     
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  STRIKING ATTACK
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                              SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  0     
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   GUT BUSTER 4750            22  10  0   98 ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
STRIKING ATTACK  THE UNFORGIVEN 4786        10   2  0   96 MENAGERIE (228)
TOTAL PARRY      DEATH RATTLE 4773          14  11  0   81 ULTRA-VIOLENT (479)
AIMED BLOW       JEREMY 4774                16   8  1   80 MENAGERIE (228)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is KETTELMAN 4749.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was ACID PEEL 4796.  The ten other most popular fighters were KETTELMAN 4749, 
SOLDIER 2 4797, DEATH RATTLE 4773, GUT BUSTER 4750, and JEREMY 4774.

The least popular fighter this week was PASCELLA 4800.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were COROT TORO 4743, SHORT ORDER JOE 4745, PAPER CUT 4799, LITHIUM 4789, 
JEREMY 4774, GUT BUSTER 4750, DEATH RATTLE 4773, SOLDIER 2 4797, SOLDIER 1 4791, and 

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn: