DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 03/11/2005    Duedate: 04/07/2005

MORYA ARENA

DM-28    TURN-252

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

LAVA RUNNER
PRIMAL FURY (438)
(28-3864) [19-4-1,143]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

LAVA RUNNER                    MARIE ALICE
PRIMAL FURY (438)              SISTERS OF SMASH (467)
(28-3864) [19-4-1,143]         (28-4215) [1-0-0,12]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

WYATT BURP                     GRIM BLACKSMITH
DODGE BULLETS (126)            NORTHERN BADLANDS (337)
(28-3531) [18-20-0,74]         (28-3961) [10-7-0,90]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

LADZ OF LUGBURZ (444)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. SISTERS OF SMASH (467)      45
2. LADZ OF LUGBURZ (444)       42      THE PENTARCHY (397)
3. CLASSIC ARCADE (415)        30      Unchartered Team
4. VALHALLA (435)              29
5. OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)      25      SISTERS OF SMASH (467)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*SISTERS OF SMASH (467)     4   1  0 80.0   1/ 2 LADZ OF LUGBURZ (444)    10  5 1
 2/ 2 THE PENTARCHY (397)      196 132  4 59.8   2/ 1 NORTHERN BADLANDS (337)   9  6 0
 3/ 3 IDIOTIC ICCERS (398)     119  82  6 59.2   3/ 3 THE PENTARCHY (397)       9  6 0
 4/ 4 THE WARLORDS II (413)     71  52  4 57.7   4/ 6 IDIOTIC ICCERS (398)      8  7 1
 5/ 6 PRIMAL FURY (438)         57  43  6 57.0   5/ 7 THE WARLORDS II (413)     7  8 0
 6/ 7 NORTHERN BADLANDS (337)  100  80  3 55.6   6/ 9 PRIMAL FURY (438)         6  0 1
 7/ 5 ENDTIME PROPHETS (429)   103  83  7 55.4   7/18 VALHALLA (435)            5  4 0
 8/ 8 BAD GERMS (430)           63  54  3 53.8   8/11 CLASSIC ARCADE (415)      5  5 0
 9/10 VALHALLA (435)            47  41  3 53.4   9/ 5 BAD GERMS (430)           5  8 0
10- 9 CANADIAN BACON (383)     115 107 11 51.8  10/ 0*SISTERS OF SMASH (467)    4  1 0
11/11 OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)   190 177  8 51.8  11/16 OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)    4  4 0
12/13 LADZ OF LUGBURZ (444)     57  56  4 50.4  12- 4 MAGICAL MADNESS (417)     4  5 1
13-12 MAGICAL MADNESS (417)     37  37  1 50.0  13/15 ENDTIME PROPHETS (429)    4  6 1
14-14 JUGGERNAUTS (144)         49  51  4 49.0  14/12 FILIPINA LADYZ (423)      4  8 1
15/15 DODGE BULLETS (126)      223 245 10 47.6  15/13 FLOWER HAMMERZ (372)      4 10 0
16-16 LUNAE MILITES (387)       67  80  5 45.6  16/14 DODGE BULLETS (126)       4 11 0
17/17 FLOWER HAMMERZ (372)      71  89  3 44.4  17- 8 LUNAE MILITES (387)       3  2 0
18/18 CLASSIC ARCADE (415)      42  56  3 42.9  18-17 CANADIAN BACON (383)      3  6 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/19 FILIPINA LADYZ (423)      47  74  4 38.8  19-19 JUGGERNAUTS (144)         2  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                  *Riders of Ahringol*  The open path, A closed door

     With the dawn came the rain, falling lightly upon the dwarves of the White Forge 
Mercenary brigade.  The priests of Gurtarg had left the dead in their fiery mound of 
burning logs, the spirits riding on brutish wild pigs of dark and brackish smoke, to 
fight the good fight in the next life.
     Smash Thunderforge watched his dwarves march from the small hill his mount stood 
atop.  The column was dotted wtih huge golems of iron or stone pulling or pushing 
great siege engines.  Ballistas with their crews were dwarfed by undead war elephants 
of the Black Riders.  Smash hated having undead operating with his units but it was a 
necessity with half of his beasts of burden slain in the last battle.
     A sigh escaped from his dried and cracked lips as his eyes came to gaze on a 
group of riders moving towards him. The ten or so riders stopped in front of Smash.  
Sir Rhawn d'Ilchant gave the dwarven commander a short bow of the head and walked his 
horse to the left of the group.  Smash could see the turmoil the young paladin was 
in.  A darkness radiated from him; the black seeds of vengeance grew within his soul.  
Smash hoped the young man would prove to be stronger than his sorrow and pain.
     An Araoi elf maiden gracefully dismounted from her grey mare and walked over to 
her friend.  "Well how's my favorite grumpy excuse for a dwarf?" asked Shadow Storm.
     Smash lighted up at the sight of Shadow.  "What you doing here, lass?"
     Smash moved closer to the elf.  "You're supposed to be in Fratsfa," said Smash 
as he encircled Shadow in a mighty hug.  Shadow returned the hug with equal 
affection, if not equal in strength.
     Shadow's blonde hair whisked to the left then to the right as her hazel eyes 
rested on Smash's weathered face, the grey that touched the corners of his brown 
beard, and she smiled.  Her smile was infectious, and despite the black leather and 
black nail polish she wore, an inner light beamed from her being that washed away his 
melancholy.
     "Liam has us going to North Fork to work out with the Knight Templar," said 
Shadow with a knowing grin on her lips.
     Smash nodded.  "I see, so Liam has accepted Baphomet's offer of alliance."
     "It would seem that way," Shadow said.  "It will be fun.  You'll see, Smash."
     Smash looked at the supply train moving with the last of the siege engines.  
"This rain is going to foul up my rigging; hemp rope and moisture don't work well," 
Smash said.
     "If this," Shadow pointed to the sky, "is giving you problems, then you'll be 
hating the weather down by Lake Moruchei."
     Smash groaned.  "You're pulling me beard.  I be hating this rain," Smash said, 
shaking a fist to the sky.
     "Aye, and the lake has towns around her," Shadow said. 
     "So you be telling me I have to march me dwarves around Hammer's estate, then 
around towns.  Liam be killing me," Smash said.
     Shadow gave a musical laugh.  "Yes you do.  Go around Nilmya on the southwest 
side and down by T'ouruis.  Hopefully you'll find a spot on the south shore line."

             + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ A Darque Tale #3 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

In the Spirit Land:

     Ghost Dancer followed Uncle Wolf out of the circle, wrinkling his nose at the 
sharp mustiness of the ferns crushed under his feet with every step.  He was pretty 
sure that if he sneezed, he would annoy the old shaman, and given Wolf's mood, he 
wanted to avoid that.  He glanced back over his shoulder.  The circle of pwer that 
had brought them here was a structure of ochre light.  It reminded him of a gazebo he 
had seen on one of the Moryan lord's estates.  As he watched, it faded and winked 
out, leaving them with nothing but ferns in all directions.  It would be very easy to 
get lost here.
     Easy, but not necessary.  He looked at the Spirit Land through a shaman's eyes 
and saw more than ferns.  There were places of power here, and they showed--when you 
were close enough--as pillars of light.  And even when you weren't close enough to a 
given power spot to see it, there were the light-lines.  A web of lines, some bright 
and some dim, that linked the power places, the gates, and other locations he didn't 
understand.  If you had some experience, you could read the web of light-lines as a 
map and follow them wherever you wanted to go.  The circle they'd come through was 
such a point of light, though fading now.  But a strand of energy stretched out from 
it into the murky distance.  That beam was ochre also, but mottled with orange and 
brown, and lumpy, as Ghost Dancer had never seen before.  It wasn't very bright.  It 
made him uneasy.
     He looked at Uncle Wolf.  The old man was turning slowly in place, scanning the 
horizon.  "Is this our guide?" Ghost Dancer asked.
     Wolf glanced at the dirty-looking trail of light.  "Yes."  He shouldered his 
pack.  "And we'd better be quick about it.  Once the sigil leaves the Spirit Land, it 
will be harder to track."

     Ghost Dancer stopped when Uncle Wolf did, and lowered his pack to the ground as 
Uncle Wolf did.  There was no tiredness in the Spirit Land, just as there was no 
hunger and thirst.  But their bodies were still living bodies, and if they'd worked 
so hard in the real world, they would be tired.  Probably hungry and thirsty, too, 
but that was a different problem.  If the old shaman said that stopping to "rest" 
would help them keep on, then Ghost Dancer would do it.  But he would rather have 
kept moving till they got to... wherever they were going.  He wanted to be DONE with 
the Spirit Land for a while.  There was something about it this time that was 
different, even if he couldn't put his finger on the difference.  Not that it was 
bothering Wolf.  Nothing bothered the old shaman.  There were times, this was one of 
them, when Ghost Dancer found it impossible to imagine that his mentor had ever been 
a young man, or uncertain, or afraid.  It made him hard to live up to.
     "I'm a little worried about Morya," Ghost Dancer said.  "You mentioned 
'dimensional disturbances' as maybe happening there because of this, because of 
whatever is going on with the Arcanum and the sigil and everything.  What if no one 
there knows how to handle...?"
     "I left instructions with Young Joan," the manager said.  "And Amelia and Billy 
Lilly will be coming to stand by there.  Morya will be fine.  And if it isn't fine, 
there wouldn't be much we could do anyway."
     Ghost Dancer was surprised to hear the names of his teammates who had graduated.  
It had been a long time ago.  He'd forgotten.  And what could they do?  But Uncle 
Wolf's manner was... firm.  The old man's body language said that he didn't want to 
hear questions.
     Wolf stood.  "Time to go--"
     The still air of the Spirit Land swirled, sucking up a column of dust in front 
of them, then calmed.  The dust condensed into two forms.  They were roughly human-
shaped, but one had the head of a dog, the other a bull's head.  They wore loose 
pants and belted jackets of natural-colored wool, faintly tan, and they held 
halberds.
     The bull said, "It is too much.  It is more than enough.  We will not have the 
Spirit Land treated as a hallway between one place and another place.  It is without 
respect."
     Wolf's eyebrows came down in a scowl.  "I have the proper passwords to enter.  I 
am an accredited shaman.  What I choose to do here or elsewhere is my own concern."
     "It isn't you, not especially," the dog said.  (Ghost Dancer expected to see it 
wag a tail.)  "Others do it who are not shamans.  They have no appreciation.  They 
don't even understand what the Spirit Land IS.  It must be stopped."
     "And you must set an example," the bull added.
     Wolf looked around elaborately.  "An example for whom?  Ghost Dancer?  I assure 
you that he understands the purpose and the protocols of the Spirit Land."
     "There was another."  The bull indicated the fading strand of light they were 
following.  "That one, a time since.  He had no courtesy, only force.  He challenged 
the Rules.  He caused three of our number to be dissipated.  And he was only the 
latest of many.  It must stop.  If you must travel from one place to another within 
your own realm, then do it THERE."
     The old shaman nodded.  "That is a reasonable request.  But I must catch the one 
who left that trail, and if he is in the Spirit Land, then I must pursue him here."
     "He is not here anymore," the dog said.  "The Red Wizard sucked him out.  Near 
the Iron Bones, that was."
     "Iron Bones.  The necropolis near Trocar.  My thanks for that news.  And the Red 
Wizard."  Wolf sighed, looking older than Ghost Dancer had ever seen.  "I could wish 
not to deal with a Red Wizard just now, but if I must, I must."  He lifted his pack.  
"May we go to Iron Bones through this land?"
     "No.  You can see it, you have the eyes for that."  The dog sounded 
disapproving.  "The matrix has been distorted.  We have closed that area until it can 
be realigned.  You must go on your own ground."  It pointed off to the side.  "You 
can exit there."
     Wolf looked, and sighed again.  "Rocanis is a long way from Trocar.  The man I 
seek may well be gone from there by the time we can reach--"
     "You cannot go through our Spirit Land," the bull said.  "No."
     "The man you seek said that he was going as far as Dead Trees," the dog added.  
"If you miss him at Iron Bones, you can look for him there."
     "Dead Trees?  All the way to Xochithlan.  Damn.  Very well, so be it."  Wolf 
gestured for Ghost Dancer to head toward the familiar line of pillars that marked the 
Spirit Ridge gate from this side.  He inclined his head toward the two creatures; it 
was almost a bow.  "Good fortune attend your efforts."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 510): CAT TASTROPHIE of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 510): PLATO of DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 504): CITATION of TRIPLE CROWN (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 506): FELIX of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 505): PIP THE TROLL of HEROESANDFOUNDONES (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 503): SIT of VALHALLA (Odin, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 251): LAVA RUNNER of PRIMAL FURY (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 495): ENOSHIMA of BLACK SAMURAI (Doc Miracle, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 249): KIRKEN TUORNIN of THE NIGHTHAWKS (Firehawk, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 492): SAVORY of SARATOGA GLORY (The Trainer, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 490): NIMBLE NEUTER of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 483): HUCKLE CAT of BUSY, BUSYTOWN (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 446): ELLEN SUE GOTLANDER of GIRLS X3 (Non, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 226): STORM SERPENT of SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 221): RAINBOW of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 208): YAIWE of DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 371): MECHANISM of TOOLS OF TORMENT (Mad Max, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 350): COOL CAT of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 156): YANKEE DOODLE of WORLDWIDE GORE (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 396): PARANOIA of DSM4 from ZUKAL (The Sandman, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 510): BLUE MOON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 510): BLOODSUCKERS (Way Cool, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 504): STARBASE 5 (Zeus, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 506): GOLDEN GLADIATORS (Midas, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 505): HEROESANDFOUNDONES (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 503): THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 251): NORTHERN BADLANDS (Maximillian, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 495): EQUESTORS (Spartacus, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 249): THE STORMGUARDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 492): SARATOGA GLORY (The Trainer, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 490): THE SEWING CIRCLE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 483): CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 446): GIRLS X3 (Non, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 226): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 221): LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 208): SNOW CALL HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 371): ARNIE'S ARMY (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 350): FAVORITE GUYS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 156): DUDS (Amy A. Airhead, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 396): LEGION OF DUMB (Carnage, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 510): BADGER of HIGH JINKS (Jondeaux, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 505): PEACH NUTT of PUNNY AMINALS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 504): MCARTHUR of HEROESANDFOUNDONES (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 250): ALARIC of THE WARLORDS II (Fizban, mgr.)
                          RAY D AYTOR of OTTO'S MECHANICS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 249): DROKK of WHAMMO & THUDDA 4 U! (Micky, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 445): DISMAY of HELL'S PAWNS (Harbinger, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 221): RAINBOW of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
                                 DEEP FRIED LARD of MYSTIC ORC FEAST (Slugbait, mgr.)
                     (turn 220): COURAGE of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 349): DRACO EL TANIN of BLADE AND BLOOD (Noachian, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Ready for some action-packed adventure, some thrills, chills and spills?  Well 
fergit it, cause this is the Spyreport for MORYA.  Too bad, NORTHERN BADLANDS, but 
LADZ OF LUGBURZ was just too good to be stopped.  VALHALLA had like a really 
albendranius week!  Those hunks got a 3-0-0 and wound up as 7th team!  Uncool, LUNAE 
MILITES.  I mean 0-0-0 is bad.  Will they will be allowed to fight?  I say use 'em 
for training practice!  One team deserves special mention 'cause they moved up 1 
after going 4-1-1.  Keep it up, LADZ OF LUGBURZ!  Talk about hot teams!  SISTERS OF 
SMASH goes out, the very first time, and goes 4-1-0!  Like, what do you guys eat for 
breakfast?  MVP award for DAISY HAMMER?  FLOWER HAMMERZ's proud of her after beating 
CAM SHAFT and getting 19 points.  Talk about yer major upsets!  RED CACTUS HAMMER's 
match with ASHZAG cost her a loss of 15 points!  This Duelmaster is like something 
else!  LAVA RUNNER stopped MAXIMUS DECIMUS dead in his tracks!  Is the Duelmaster 
really being a real snob to his teammates?  Don't ask me!   
     I gotta admit I haven't been in "deep con caves" with any spies.  Really, I just 
wing this stuff.  BAD GERMS was the most avoided team.  Is a 63-54-3 record really 
that scary?  Is there some deep dark secret why VALHALLA's been avoiding BAD GERMS so 
much?  Or is it just that they're too scared?  Like, is DANDELION HAMMER popular, or 
what?  She was challenged the most in all of MORYA!  She's got a 0-11-0, is that 
good?  Some fights are really unfair.  How do you think STAPH. AUREUS feels about 
being challenged by MYSTIC ZEALOT, 27 points above it?  I was sorry to see such an 
unfair "fight" in MORYA.  MYSTIC ZEALOT got 5 points after beating STAPH. AUREUS, 27 
points below him.  BALDER is being unfair.  He's challenged down 25 against WYATT 
BURP.  I don't know why they let this stuff go on.  (I'd better shut up) BALDER beat 
WYATT BURP.  No surprise about that.  Really I'm not surprised BALDER would do such a 
scummy thing, either.  See if I ever talk to YIP AGAIN again!  CENTIPEDE was so low 
when He challenged he.  Hhmph!  If YIP AGAIN can't beat a warrior 26 points below 
himself, that he CHALLENGED, he oughtta be selling food in the stands!  Some fights 
are really unfair.  How do you think NJORD feels about being challenged by ZITAN AL 
KHUM, 21 points above him?  NJORD is a real man!  He was challenged by ZITAN AL KHUM, 
21 points above, and BEAT him!  Dark Arena, anyone?  People were asking me did ZAXXON 
REALLY challenge CONJUNCTIVITIS?  (all right, maybe they didn't, but it sounded 
good!) It wasn't a spectacular fight, or anything, but CONJUNCTIVITIS wants me to 
write about it since he defeated ZAXXON.  Satisfied?   
     Challenges, revenges, Bloodfeuds.  All MORYA ever talks about is fighting!  Me, 
I'm more laid back.  How cruel!  NORTHERN BADLANDS heartlessly sent his to BULWYF 
REDHAMMER certain fate in the Dark Arena.  Is a 6-10-0 bad or something?  What a 
bummer!  BLUNT ARROW got wasted by FLESHRIPPER!  But with a 4-6-0, I guess DODGE 
BULLETS aren't too bummed.  CAESAR bloodfeuded (is that a word?) DAKIDES for revenge 
over some guy's bad fortune.  Was it really worth it?  What if they had a fight and 
nobody showed up?  I'd be out of a job, that's what!!!   
     Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain.  Soak it in cold water, and hand 
wash.  I know how much you like reading this stuff, but I really should stop.  Its 
been really albendranius!  Later, guys-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LAVA RUNNER 3864             19   4  1   143       PRIMAL FURY (438)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MOONSHINE 3936               13   8  1   115       LUNAE MILITES (387)
 CENTIPEDE 3980               12   7  0   109       CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
 MYSTIC ZEALOT 3804           14   7  1   108       PRIMAL FURY (438)
 BALDER 3778                  13   8  2   104       VALHALLA (435)
 SHAGUK 3966                  16   6  0   103       LADZ OF LUGBURZ (444)
 L'ETRANGLEUR 4117            11   1  0   103       THE PENTARCHY (397)
 FOOLISH FOLGERS 3526         17  23  1   102       IDIOTIC ICCERS (398)
 MAXIMUS DECIMUS 3440         22   9  0   100       NORTHERN BADLANDS (337)
 LADY BEATRIZ 3704            12  13  1    98       FILIPINA LADYZ (423)
 DAISY HAMMER 3317            11  18  0    96       FLOWER HAMMERZ (372)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LUNA KNIGHT 3445             14  19  0    90       LUNAE MILITES (387)
 GRIM BLACKSMITH 3961         10   7  0    90       NORTHERN BADLANDS (337)
-QUEST 2761                   12   4  0    88       JUGGERNAUTS (144)
 YIP AGAIN 3512               22  17  2    87       THE PENTARCHY (397)
 HENGIST 3788                 11  13  1    85       THE WARLORDS II (413)
 YOUNG JOAN 3534              19  18  1    84       DODGE BULLETS (126)
 THRAKKLASH 3835              12  10  1    82       LADZ OF LUGBURZ (444)
 FROGGER 3656                 11  10  0    81       CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
 NERF THE SOFTY 3833          11  12  0    80       LADZ OF LUGBURZ (444)
-DRAGON-FIRE 2705             13   9  2    79       JUGGERNAUTS (144)
 MR. CHOMP CHOMP 3620         15  14  0    78       THE PENTARCHY (397)
 CAM SHAFT 3989               12   5  0    78       OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
-ALLURE 3671                   8   7  0    78       MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
 STAPH. AUREUS 3752           13  12  0    77       BAD GERMS (430)
 WYATT BURP 3531              18  20  0    74       DODGE BULLETS (126)
 GARDENIA HAMMER 3871         12  10  2    73       FLOWER HAMMERZ (372)
 CAESAR 3974                  16   5  0    70       THE WARLORDS II (413)
 WASTELAND WARLORD 3594       10  11  0    70       NORTHERN BADLANDS (337)
 CLEOPATRA 3856               14  10  1    69       THE WARLORDS II (413)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NYALL BLOODGRIN 3963         12   5  2    64       NORTHERN BADLANDS (337)
-TALISMAN 3667                 8   7  1    62       MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
-CONSTRUCT 3668               10   5  0    61       MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
 FREDDY FENDER 3956            9  11  1    61       OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
 ANNE TENNA 4053               9   4  0    61       OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
-SAILOR MOON 4133              6   4  0    59       LUNAE MILITES (387)
 NJORD 4061                   12   5  0    58       VALHALLA (435)
 ASHZAG 4092                   8   7  1    57       LADZ OF LUGBURZ (444)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CONJUNCTIVITIS 4129           7   5  0    54       BAD GERMS (430)
 LADY CONSOLACION 3703        11  14  2    51       FILIPINA LADYZ (423)
 ZITAN AL KHUM 3743           11  14  1    50       ENDTIME PROPHETS (429)
 LE NETTOYE 4069               7  10  0    49       THE PENTARCHY (397)
 LADY DOMINGA 3702             8  17  0    44       FILIPINA LADYZ (423)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DOLTON MCGUILTY 4118          4   4  1    39       CANADIAN BACON (383)
 REDWIND 4099                  9   6  0    38       DODGE BULLETS (126)
 FRAIL FREEBIRD 4192           5   1  0    38       IDIOTIC ICCERS (398)
-RUNE 4083                     3   2  0    38       MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
 RED CACTUS HAMMER 4032        5  12  0    36       FLOWER HAMMERZ (372)
 HUB CAPP 4168                 5   2  0    35       OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
-GOBLIN KING 4072              6   5  1    34       PRIMAL FURY (438)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BAD MOON RISING 4019          7  11  1    33       LUNAE MILITES (387)
 EROTIC EEEK 4141              5   6  0    31       IDIOTIC ICCERS (398)
-MAGETA THE LION 4000          6   8  1    27       PRIMAL FURY (438)
-CONQUEST 2840                 6   5  0    27       JUGGERNAUTS (144)
 GALAXIAN 4188                 4   2  0    27       CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
 STREPTOCOCCUS 4186            6   1  0    24       BAD GERMS (430)
 FLESHRIPPER 4213              3   1  1    24       LADZ OF LUGBURZ (444)
 ZAXXON 4172                   3   5  1    24       CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
 IDUN 4169                     3   6  0    24       VALHALLA (435)
-DON CARNAGE 4119              3   5  0    24       CANADIAN BACON (383)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MILITANTE 2923                7   2  0    23       JUGGERNAUTS (144)
 LE GROS AUJALD 4173           5   3  0    23       THE PENTARCHY (397)
 MOUTHY MICROTONE 4174         1   7  1    22       IDIOTIC ICCERS (398)
 JEQUIE CONQUISTA 3738         4   5  1    19       ENDTIME PROPHETS (429)
-HARRY THE SNAKE 4179          2   3  0    18       CANADIAN BACON (383)
-MOONRAKER 4190                2   2  0    18       LUNAE MILITES (387)
 DAKIDES 4080                  1   1  1    18       ENDTIME PROPHETS (429)
 KUKI BANE 4078                2   0  0    16       ENDTIME PROPHETS (429)
 HANNIBAL 4235                 1   0  0    15       THE WARLORDS II (413)
 MARIE ALICE 4215              1   0  0    12       SISTERS OF SMASH (467)
 CATHIE 4217                   1   0  0    11       SISTERS OF SMASH (467)
 MAELLE 4214                   1   0  0    11       SISTERS OF SMASH (467)
 DANDELION HAMMER 4116         0  11  0    11       FLOWER HAMMERZ (372)
 CHANTAL 4218                  1   0  0    10       SISTERS OF SMASH (467)
 LADY EVELYN 4194              2   3  0     9       FILIPINA LADYZ (423)
 LOOPY LIEVELING 4210          1   3  1     8       IDIOTIC ICCERS (398)
-CBA 4187                      1   3  0     6       CANADIAN BACON (383)
 NIGHTSHADOW 4231              1   1  0     5       DODGE BULLETS (126)
 KATANA FURY 4079              0   2  0     2       ENDTIME PROPHETS (429)
 CRYPTOSPORIDIUM 4229          0   2  0     2       BAD GERMS (430)
 PAULETTE 4216                 0   1  0     1       SISTERS OF SMASH (467)
 STINK WEED HAMMER 4232        0   1  0     1       FLOWER HAMMERZ (372)
 SUN TZU 4234                  0   1  0     1       THE WARLORDS II (413)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
GIARDIA 3935          11 10 1 BAD GERMS 430         LAVA RUNNER 3864      250         
GAME OVER 4237         0  1 0 CLASSIC ARCADE 415    STONE GOLEM 349       252 NONE    
BLUNT ARROW 4166       4  6 0 DODGE BULLETS 126     FLESHRIPPER 4213      252         
NIGHTWIND 4007         8 11 0 DODGE BULLETS 126     LADY CONSOLACION 3703 250         
LADY MARIA 3701        9 13 1 FILIPINA LADYZ 423    CLAIR BLUE HAIR 4183  249         
GOLDENROD HAMMER 4219  0  1 0 FLOWER HAMMERZ 372    LOOPY LIEVELING 4210  250         
KOOKY KIEBITZ 4175     1  3 0 IDIOTIC ICCERS 398    NYALL BLOODGRIN 3963  248 NOT REVE
BULWYF REDHAMMER 3962  6 11 0 NORTHERN BADLANDS 337 SHEWISH GIANT 344     252 NONE    
SPARE PART 4233        0  1 0 OTTO'S MECHANICS 226  DARK CHAMPION 347     252 NONE    
NAPOLEON 4005         10  8 1 THE WARLORDS II 413   TALISMAN 3667         250 REVENGED
RAMSES 4227            0  1 0 THE WARLORDS II 413   DAKIDES 4080          251 JUST REV

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Damn, the end of my stay here is getting nearer: will I die soon?  Will I get 
immortality?  Anyway, I'm worried.  Yip again and again, a survivor.

Ah, I forgot to tell everyone about Giardia.  Numbers were:  11-6-9-21-15-9-13 B, 
Good Damage.  -1 Attack, -4 Parry, -3 or 4 Defense, +2 Initiative.  I ran him because 
even knowing from the overview he was massively cursed in Parry and Defense, those 
skills don't make or break most bashers, especially in basic.  Turns out they would 
have helped him immensely, because of how he learned.  His final skills were: 
26/18/25/17/14-15/21.  He looks a lot better with Advanced Experts in Parry/Defense, 
needless to say...  I think he was favorite learn parry, but it could have been 
riposte or defense, too, since bashers normally learn those skills the worst, but 
Giardia learned almost as much defense and riposte as he did attack, initiative, or 
decise.  All total, he learned 36 defensive skills and 34 offensive skills.  
Terrible!  So, Jan, I think you did me a favor, but I would have liked to have found 
out his defense base before he died... -- Assurnasirbanipal

Blunt Arrow -- I do know an Inferno Serpent.  She fights on one of my boss's alliance 
brother's teams.  She's hell on the head or any other part of the body for that 
matter.  My boss had us inactive while he is in North Fork for the TW 4 contest.  No 
telling when he'll be back, that bum, but we should be back.  When, who knows. -- 
Inferno

Galax -- Good fight. -- Ghost

Streptococcus -- Not fun (ha-choo!). -- Viper

Lady Maria -- I'm so sorry for that.  With your F.E.s over me, your style and skill 
base, I should have lost to you, not sent you to Ahringol. -- Clair Blue, the very 
sad and remorseful

Ladz of Lugburz -- (whiny voice) Okay okay okay, I'm sorry already.  You don't have 
to be so touchy about it... -- Mouthy Microtone

Dolton Mcguilty -- Bad matchup for you friend, probably always will be. -- Nyall 
Bloodgrin

Lady Beatriz -- Strange looking up so far to a lady, are you Amazonian? -- Grim 
Blacksmith

Frail Freebird -- A loss to you was totally unacceptable to my manager, thanks to you 
I get a night fight. -- Bulwyf Redhammer

Morya -- In the immortal words of Roger Waters and David Gilmor, "Goodbye, cruel 
world, I'm leaving you today, goodbyyye, goodbyye, goodbye!"

All -- Bulwyf was 7-14-12-21-15-4-11 TP, learn well enough (37 learned skills) but 
sucked in the arena.  The only reason he lasted this long was the 21 WT, I saw some 
minor promise in that.  What sealed his fate was being -4 in Def.  Let this be a 
reminder to future Badlanders, no matter what your #s, you will find yourself 
fighting by torchlight if you don't keep a .500+ record. -- Maximillian

Daisy Hammer -- Pretty vicious for such a cute little thing but you teach well, thank 
you. -- Maximus Decimus

Red Cactus Hammer -- Wow, someone I can beat. -- Wasteland Warlord

Balder -- (erp!)  Where's the (erp!) mistletoe when I (erp!) need it? -- Wyatt Burp

Allure -- You shouldn't have done that.  I was so confused after I finally woke up 
that I'm not sure I remember what I'm supposed to do if Morya is threatened. -- Young 
Joan

Jequie Conquista -- Someone told me you come from up north, and I would guess that 
the change in climate has put you off your stroke.  No shame in that.  Better luck 
next time, eh? -- Redwind

Zaxxon -- Oh, it's you.  My typist doesn't like your name. -- Blunt Arrow

Katana Fury -- I see we're both beginners in the arena.  Now, I know what you're 
like, beautiful and passionate.  And while I'm not charismatic, I'm reasonably good 
look, very courages, trustworthy, and cool.  Would you care to, um, join me for 
dinner, or a stroll along the shore, or something? -- Nightshadow
P.S.  It would probably have to be soon, because I think I'm going to get sucked into 
doing something incredibly reckless in an adventure.

Readers of Morya -- I am pressed for time, what with doing Temp Ed this week, so no 
extra episode, but I'll try to make it up to you next time. -- the Scribe

1 March 2005
                                    The Contract
                         [as retold by Hammer the WordSmith]
     What had begun as a contract for swords and armor between a well known name in
the DM community and the former VC Captain/WordSmith and WeaponSmith of the Vendetta
Cartel Tarantula Tribe was destined to impact and altar the landscape of the dueling
community for years to come.
     The following is but a condensed retelling of history in the making.

    Hammer continued sipping his tankard of Elven Tonic as the mysterious hooded
figure quietly seated himself across the table from the Veteran Manager whose back
was against the wall; allowing for a subtle, but effective surveillance of the dimly
lit tavern.
     Recent events in both Illis and North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena had stunned the DM
managerial world with the announcement that Hammer had resigned from his position as
a well respected member of the Vendetta Cartel Alliance.
     Those managers and associates closest to Hammer were shocked and dismayed that
there seemed to be NO Rational Explanation for Hammer making such a seemingly
irrational, hasty and extremely illogical decision; by what seemed to be a spur of
the moment reaction following the Declaration of War by Hammer in the DM 47 P-ads.
     This is what stirred the mysterious hooded figure to seek Hammer with a request
that would change the managerial course of both men; ultimately Rocking the
Managerial World of Alastari as a result of the forthcoming decisions reached by the
two Veterans.
     Time passed swiftly as both Veteran Managers discussed how the landscape of the
DM game on the sands of Alastari had changed over the years both in Basic and Tourney
play; producing a new breed of managers who would of necessity band together in an
alliance with a common goal; waging war against antagonists while improving the
managerial skills of each participating member in their glorious quest for DM
excellence.
     Hammer listened intently as his unexpected guest inquired about the situation in
North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena; revealing his desire to participate in the upcoming
Turf War 4 contest in DM 47 with an alliance that would accept him on a more
permanent basis other than for just fighting together as a TW4 alliance to win fame
and Gift Certs.
     Here was a Veteran Manager, seeking the advice of Hammer regarding an alliance
to join on a permanent basis; plus extending a sword arm of friendship and requesting
that Hammer join him as an alliance mate with those who would welcome their
membership.
     The Iron in the Words of Hammer had produced this opportunity as a result of the
recent conflicts witnessed first hand by the manager seated across the table from
Hammer.  This Veteran Manager had been secretly searching and scouting around
Alastari for someone worth his mettle to fight alongside; someone who would know
where to find the perfect gang of rebels who were unafraid of waging war against
anyone.
     Hammer knew exactly where to look and in a matter of days the two newcomers were
welcomed into the ranks of a group of managers who received them as war waging equals
in an alliance that had joined a Confederation of Alliances for the TW4 contest.
     Fighting under the banner of The Illuminati Confederation of Alliances alongside
members of Chaos Inc, kLk and The Company of Brothers during the TW4 was more than
either of the two Veteran Managers had envisioned a few months ago.
     Hammer was now entering a new journey with a new attitude.
     Perhaps you readers may have noticed that new attitude by now since this
announcement by Hammer is uncharacteristically Exclamation Point Free.
     Except for the famous quote by Hammer at the end of this announcement.
     Now that Hammer and the Mysterious Hooded Figure have agreed to join forces with
an alliance whose members have welcomed them enthusiastically; let those who desire
to be antagonistic be forewarned as to the identities of these newly welcomed wagers
of war:

Tripwire
kLk Bringer of Pain

Hammer
kLk WordSmith and WeaponSmith
Minister of War
Illuminati Idealist

     "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BULWYF REDHAMMER was butchered by SHEWISH GIANT in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
SPARE PART was dealt death by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
GAME OVER was killed by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
CAESAR overpowered DAKIDES in a 3 minute mismatched Bloodfeud duel.
MYSTIC ZEALOT devastated STAPH. AUREUS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
BALDER devastated WYATT BURP in a 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
SHAGUK defeated LADY BEATRIZ in a 3 minute veteran's Challenge struggle.
YIP AGAIN was handily defeated by CENTIPEDE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
NERF THE SOFTY won victory over WASTELAND WARLORD in a 4 minute Challenge duel.
L'ETRANGLEUR vanquished HENGIST in a popular 1 minute brutal one-sided Challenge duel.
THRAKKLASH was overcome by FOOLISH FOLGERS in a 1 minute veteran's Challenge bout.
ZITAN AL KHUM was subdued by NJORD in a 3 minute Challenge match.
LE NETTOYE was devastated by CLEOPATRA in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
ANNE TENNA subdued LADY CONSOLACION in a popular 1 minute master's Challenge match.
FREDDY FENDER handily defeated REDWIND in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge conflict.
ASHZAG overpowered RED CACTUS HAMMER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge struggle.
ZAXXON was handily defeated by CONJUNCTIVITIS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
IDUN devastated DANDELION HAMMER in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
JEQUIE CONQUISTA was subdued by EROTIC EEEK in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
LOOPY LIEVELING was beaten by GALAXIAN in a popular 5 minute bloody Challenge match.
FLESHRIPPER delivered the death blow upon BLUNT ARROW in a 1 minute Challenge contest.
LAVA RUNNER savagely defeated MAXIMUS DECIMUS in a 5 minute veteran's Title duel.
CAM SHAFT was viciously subdued by DAISY HAMMER in a popular 2 minute master's fray.
YOUNG JOAN defeated GARDENIA HAMMER in a exciting 2 minute gory expert's fight.
MR. CHOMP CHOMP was viciously subdued by GRIM BLACKSMITH in a popular 3 minute fight.
FROGGER viciously subdued CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a action packed 2 minute bout.
NYALL BLOODGRIN overpowered FRAIL FREEBIRD in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
LADY DOMINGA overcame AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 1 minute duel.
HUB CAPP beat MOUTHY MICROTONE in a 3 minute fight.
STREPTOCOCCUS defeated NIGHTSHADOW in a 2 minute duel.
LE GROS AUJALD overcame LADY EVELYN in a 1 minute fight.
KATANA FURY was overpowered by MARIE ALICE in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
KUKI BANE overpowered PAULETTE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
CRYPTOSPORIDIUM was handily defeated by MAELLE in a 1 minute mismatched match.
CHANTAL vanquished SUN TZU in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
CATHIE demolished STINK WEED HAMMER in a 2 minute brutal mismatched match.
HANNIBAL slimly won victory over EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 3 minute novice's fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                  13         STRIKING ATTACK   70 -  56 -  4      56  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 10         WALL OF STEEL     39 -  32 -  2      55  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      8         LUNGING ATTACK    59 -  52 -  3      53  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   8         SLASHING ATTACK   33 -  30 -  4      52  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  5         PARRY-STRIKE      29 -  28 -  3      51  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         AIMED BLOW        24 -  25 -  0      49  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      5         TOTAL PARRY       47 -  54 -  0      47  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     5         BASHING ATTACK    45 -  53 -  4      46  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    5         PARRY-LUNGE       24 -  35 -  0      41  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     18 -  31 -  0      37  |

Turn 252 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     6 -  7         3  STRIKING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         3 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  3         2  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        5 -  3     PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  3         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  3         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  4     STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  7         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    LAVA RUNNER 3864           19   4  1  143 PRIMAL FURY (438)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    MYSTIC ZEALOT 3804         14   7  1  108 PRIMAL FURY (438)
LUNGING ATTACK   BALDER 3778                13   8  2  104 VALHALLA (435)
TOTAL PARRY      SHAGUK 3966                16   6  0  103 LADZ OF LUGBURZ (444)
STRIKING ATTACK  L'ETRANGLEUR 4117          11   1  0  103 THE PENTARCHY (397)
PARRY-LUNGE      MAXIMUS DECIMUS 3440       22   9  0  100 NORTHERN BADLANDS (337)
BASHING ATTACK   YIP AGAIN 3512             22  17  2   87 THE PENTARCHY (397)
PARRY-STRIKE     MR. CHOMP CHOMP 3620       15  14  0   78 THE PENTARCHY (397)
SLASHING ATTACK  CLEOPATRA 3856             14  10  1   69 THE WARLORDS II (413)
AIMED BLOW       CONJUNCTIVITIS 4129         7   5  0   54 BAD GERMS (430)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is WYATT BURP 3531.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was GRIM BLACKSMITH 3961.  The ten other most popular fighters were WASTELAND WARLORD 
3594, LAVA RUNNER 3864, FROGGER 3656, LADY BEATRIZ 3704, NERF THE SOFTY 3833, 
GALAXIAN 4188, DAISY HAMMER 3317, GARDENIA HAMMER 3871, ZITAN AL KHUM 3743, and LOOPY 
LIEVELING 4210.

The least popular fighter this week was SUN TZU 4234.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were CRYPTOSPORIDIUM 4229, LADY EVELYN 4194, FRAIL FREEBIRD 4192, ZAXXON 
4172, RED CACTUS HAMMER 4032, LE NETTOYE 4069, WYATT BURP 3531, CAESAR 3974, BULWYF 
REDHAMMER 3962, and STINK WEED HAMMER 4232.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

LAVA RUNNER (28-3864) PRIMAL FURY (438)
MAXIMUS DECIMUS (28-3440) NORTHERN BADLANDS (337)

                                  Name-Change-O-Rama

     The winter tourney brought a lot of people to the Isle who didn't appear there 
normally.  This included Commission employees.  Half a dozen arenamasters regarded 
each other warily in the mirror behind the bar at the Pig in a Haystack.  The Pig was 
obscure and mediocre, drawing few gladiators, which is what they had all been looking 
for.  They saw gladiators every day.  Most arenamaster were convinced that this was 
some kind of punishment.
     You could always pick out the arenamasters in a crowd.  There were superficial 
differences:  One of these had clearly Adantri features, one wore an eye-patch, two 
were female.  But there were, in significant ways, alike.  The same size, the same 
hair-trigger alertness, the same deadliness.
     The one-eyed man broke the ice, raising his beer mug in salute.  "I'm Zrof One-
Eye from Zukal.  Sugar of Arvat--"  One of the women bowed slightly.  "I know Sugar.  
The rest of you...?"
     The Adantri matched his salute.  "Dernal of Dayla Kiv."
     "Daiyla Kiv?  Ah...."
     "No, without the 'I' in it.  These damned bureaucrats can't spell, and they 
thought adding an unnecessary vowel was exotic."  Disgust dripped from his voice.
     "Tell me about it!" another man growled in agreement.  "Khagal of Niatoli, and 
what they do to the spelling of THAT simple word--!"
     "I thought Daiyla, I mean Dayla Kiv had a different name right now," 
Arenamistress Sugar said.  "The arena, at least, because of a contest?"
     "Chavez Ravine."  Dernal's tone was the one that substituted in polite company 
for spitting on the floor.
     Zrof blinked, taken aback by the bitterness.  He wouldn't have minded a contest 
in Zukal, and damn what they called the place.  "It's only temporary, though."
     "Temporary, shmiperary," another man muttered.  He seemed well into his drinking, 
although, like all arenamasters, he carried his liquor well.  "They do it all the time 
in Aradi.  No reshpect.  Go around changing thish, changing that.  I wish I could 
change shome thingsh."  He signalled the bartender for a refill.
     The second woman put her hand over his mug.  "You've had enough, Harkon.  Try the 
coffee, instead."
     "You should be mad, too, Ripplesh," Harkon said.  "They're going to do shtuff 
like that in Jahnsh, aren't they?"
     Ripples Dorrigan shrugged.  All the men paused, some with glasses half raised, to 
watch.  "It's the way things are," she said.  "Not much we can do about it."
     "You know," Khagal of Niatoli said, "maybe we could make a few changes.  Fix the 
spelling of Arena 33, for one, change a few standby titles--"
     "The Commission hates changes."  Dernal of Dayla Kiv topped up his glass and 
drained it gloomily.
     "Yes, but if we disguise it," Sugar of Arvat said, excited, "make it... maybe a 
general Name-Change-O-Rama!  Then we could slip OUR changes through and no one would 
notice or mind."

                  *-------*-------*-------*-------*-------*-------* 

     By popular demand, we are holding a Name-Change-o-Rama during the month of March.
If you wish to change the name of your warriors or teams, please contact RSI Customer 
Service.  The charge for a name change is $1, unless you're in DOOMCorps, in which 
case you take your chances.  (Just kidding, guys! *snicker*)