Date   : 02/01/2013    Duedate: 02/28/2013


DM-28    TURN-355

This Weeks Top Honors


(28-4775) [21-18-0,105]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

LILY OF SARMATIA               KIM
DODGE BULLETS (126)            THE WOLF PACK (546)
(28-4775) [21-18-0,105]        (28-4988) [6-1-0,51]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

DODGE BULLETS (126)            DODGE BULLETS (126)
(28-4775) [21-18-0,105]        (28-4775) [21-18-0,105]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE WOLF PACK (546)         47
2. PHEBIOUS (548)              31      EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)
3. ZODIAC (536)                23      Unchartered Team
4. BASH BROS BODY (541)        20
5. DODGE BULLETS (126)         10      BASH BROS BODY (541)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*WORLD BLADES II (547)      1   0  0  100   1/ 1 LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543) 10  5 2
 2/ 2*BASH BROS BODY (541)       8   2  0 80.0   2/ 3*THE WOLF PACK (546)       7  7 0
 3/ 3 EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)    146  87  4 62.7   3/ 4*PHEBIOUS (548)            7  8 1
 4/ 4 MY GENERATION (533)       53  33  4 61.6   4/ 2 DODGE BULLETS (126)       7  8 0
 5/ 5*THE WOLF PACK (546)       18  15  0 54.5   5/ 6 EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)     5  6 0
 6/ 6 LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543) 211 208 15 50.4   6/ 5 ZODIAC (536)              5 10 0
 7/ 7 DODGE BULLETS (126)      484 485 14 49.9   7/ 7 MY GENERATION (533)       4  2 2
 8/ 8 ZODIAC (536)              50  63  1 44.2   8/ 8*BASH BROS BODY (541)      3  2 0
 9/ 9*PHEBIOUS (548)            12  17  2 41.4   9- 9*WORLD BLADES II (547)     1  0 0
10-10 BIZARRO SQUAD (537)       11  26  2 29.7  10-10 BIZARRO SQUAD (537)       0  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     The roar of the crowd caused the floor and walls of the arena to tremble.
Longshot stopped and tilted his head to see if he could hear the Arena Master calling
the current fight.  Was he too late to see the surprise that Rebecca had for him?
Perhaps the hallway under the arena was too insulated because he couldn't make out
what was being said.  The cheers and boos of the spectators sounded like a herd of
cattle running amok over his head and formed a jumbled rumbling of noise.  As he
pushed on down the hall way and up the entrance ramp, up in the distance the words
'She got a kill! She got a kill!' rang down the hallway.  Running towards him was a
little boy with an unkept mop of black hair on his head.  Longshot stopped the boy
and asked who made the kill.  The little boy was dressed in blue pants and a thin
white shirt.  The shirt was thread bare and much too thin for the cold winter air.
The little boy clutched receipts for bets in his right hand.  Each ticket was a note
for legal tender.  An IOU of sorts; if he lost one of those tickets, the bookie he
worked for would make his life really hard.
     "Hold on, son.  Who got a kill?" Longshot asked.  At 6'5", he towered over the
little boy.  The child, realizing that he had the tickets in his hand put them behind
his back and took a step backwards.  He knew the value of the tickets as well.
     "Stink Breath, sir.  She killed Aurophobia.  She was the underdog in the match.
The bookie I work for was offering 25:1 odds on her and 55:1 if she got a kill.  When
everyone saw who Stink Breath was going to fight, they all went with Aurophobia.  It
was a sure thing.  Now all of them owe big time."
     "And you are going to deliver the good news.", Longshot added.  It was good to
hear that Sally was finally starting to pan out.
     "Yes, sir.  Please let me pass.  I need to get back and get some guys.  The
losers aren't taking it well and the money collectors need some muscle."
     "Well, by all means." Longshot said as he stepped to the side.  The little boy
then bolted down the ramp and turned left.  Longshot continued his climb to the
entrance of the main arena.  He huffed and puffed as he made his way up the ramp.  He
thought, as he always did at times like this, of when he used to take this walk with
ease.  He wouldn't have a problem with this in his youth.  But here he is, puffing
and wheezing away in his older body.  He thanked God as he took the final step and
was in the main seating area of the arena.
     Longshot looked around and took in the view.  The arena was packed with
spectators.  Hawkers walked through the stands offering food and drink to the
spectator.  Morya's arena wasn't nearly as grand as Monuntial back in its heyday, but
it was still pretty big.  The Moryans took care of their arena.  He'd managed in some
that would make your stomach turn.  The island arena of Transell came to mind.  Their
arenas could double as a dirty horse stables and no one would notice.
     Down the flight of stairs, he saw Rebecca leaning on the rails and watching the
coroners and workers collect the dead body.  The men, all of which were dressed in
black, scurried around and they picked up weapons, and the body.  As he men worked 
the crowd talked amongst themselves.  Their voices like the buzz of busy bees.  They
talked excitedly of the fight that just happened.  Some even simulated the movements
as if they wielded invisible swords to those that were away from their seat and 
missed what had happened.  Longshot saw one of the crewmen pick up a helmet that had
a huge splint cutting down from the top to where an eye would have been.
     The ramp was nothing compared to the stairs.  It is as if the architects dug a
big high rimmed bowl in the earth and built an arena around it.  The stairs went down
past the flat level of the hall ways leading in.  Longshot walked towards the elf
that was the senior member of the Lord of Discipline stable.  Of course her real name
wasn't Rebecca.  When she walked through the doors of their old guild house in
Monuntial, no one could pronounce her elven name.  But it sounded similar to Rebecca
and so the name stuck.
     As Longshot came up behind the elf, he noticed she had her hair in what they
called a 'French braid' back on earth.  Earth.  It has been so long since he set foot
on the soil of his home that even the name seemed alien.
     "So.  I hear you have been busy while I was in Arkers setting up the stable."
The elf turned and faced Longshot.  Her hazel eyes always struck a chord in him.  If
he had met her on the street as an ordinary girl, he would have tried to win her
affections.  But that is out of the question now.  You never mixed business with
pleasure; especially when it came to the games.  She wore a coat similar to
Longshot's.  But where his black trench coat went down to his calves, hers stopped
just above the knee.  A pair of red pants could be seen below the black coat.  Her
breath misted as she said hello.
     The Arena Master called for attention as the next pair of warriors walked out
onto the sands.  One young warrior stood on the sands with a broadsword in hand.  His
well-oiled leather armour creaking as he swung the blade back and forth.  The warrior
wore a steel cap on his head.  His forearm muscles rippled with each swing.  This man
was dressed for speed.  Longshot and any manager worth his salt would notice that.
This new guy had better be just as fast or faster.  If not, this would be a quick
fight.  And the coroner and his men would be out collecting another body.
     "Ladies and gentlemen.  I present to you a most despicable character.  I call
him this because what else would you think of a coward.  A turn coat.  A deserter of
his own brother at arms? I give to you; the Mordant Deserter!"
     Some of the crowd cheered but most booed.  An apple core and other bits of
garbage flew out onto the sand.  One young lady with blond hair winked at the fighter
and pulled her top down just to show a little more cleavage.  This got a brief smile
from the fighter.
     Then the doors opened on the opposite end and the crown went wild.  Some came
onto their feet.  Out walked a big stocky man covered in chainmail and a full helm.
In his right hand he held a warhammer.  The big man walked to his mark and stopped.
He seemed winded from the short walk into the arena.
     "Ladies and gentlemen.  I present to you a young hopeful.  He is new to the
beautiful city of Morya and hopes to do well and please the Lady Greywand! I present
to you!...Mongo!
     The cheers got louder.
     Rebecca looks at Longshot with a big smile on her face.  Longshot looked out on
the sand.  His arms were crossed.  His brow knotted in concentration.  Only one
thought was on his mind 'This guy is dead and Rebecca sent him to his execution.'
     The Arena Master gave the signal for the fight to begin.  The warrior in leather
slashed across with his broadsword.  The big man in chainmail stepped back out of
reach of the blade.  The fighter pressed the attack and the broadsword bit deeply
into his opponent's arm.  The big man in chainmail didn't say a word.  He walked
sideways away from his attacker.  What was supposed to be a fight turned into a game
of cat and mouse.  The mouse was obviously the poor bastard in chainmail.  The
leather bound man chased his prey down and swung his sword rapidly into the man's
back and hips.
     "So, this is your idea of recruiting?  That man is about to get killed."
     "Have faith.  You are about to see our boy work."
     The more the chain mailed man ran the more the leather clad berserker hit him.
Soon blood trickled from what looked like a hundred cuts.  The sand was stained red
again with fresh blood.  The audience loved every minute of it.  The supporters of
Mongo followed suit of the Mordant Deserter and cheered for the leather clad fighter
to finish his opponent.  The sound was deafening.  The Mordant Deserter, hyped up by
the crowd's thirst for blood, drew back and swung his sword horizontally.  The sound
of the blade crashing into Mongo's full helm rang out in the arena and the crowd made
a collective 'Whoooo' sound.  Mongo spun round with the force of the blow.  It looked
as if the big man was about to fall down.  But Mongo only staggered a few steps and
then regained his balance.
     "Get him out Rebecca.  He has had enough."
     "You are right.  He needs more training.  He shouldn't be fighting like this.
We'll clean him up and work on his technique in a couple of days."
     Longshot nodded in agreement but he notices a smirk on Rebecca's face.  What
could possibly be funny about this?
     "Mongo!" she shouted out to the fighter.  The man in the chainmail looked around
at the sky.  It looked as if he was trying to figure out where the sound was coming
from.  Rebecca looked at longshot one more time.  This time her smile was bigger.
     The man in chainmail, Mongo, suddenly turned into a maelstrom of flailing
attacks.  Unfortunately none connected as the leather clad man dodged each one.  Then
it happened.  A random chance showed its self with a hesitation on the part of the
leather clad deserter.  The war hammer smashed into his left forearm.  There was a
sickening crack and the man's arm hung at an odd angle.  The leather clad fighter
bowed his head in a token of surrender.  The crowd went suddenly quiet.  All that
could be heard was the sound of Mongo's laboured breathing and the leather clad
Mordant warrior sucking in air through gritted teeth.  His broadsword lay on the
ground long forgotten and his right hand held the broken arm level.  Mongo stopped
the assault and stood there.  He looked like a toy that had wound down.  His arm we
down at his sides and his head tilted towards the ground.  Everything seemed to shut
     "Go home Mongo.  Good job!" Rebecca shouted.  Mongo walked back to the entrance
and exited the arena.  The audience was still silent as the stocky man walked through
the doors at the end of the arena.
     "Well, what do you think?"
     "I seriously don't know what to think.  Is he human?"
     "As far as we can tell, he is a Kannar.  That is about all we know.  He doesn't
talk much.  Some says when he fights he mumbles something.  He eats a lot.  He sleeps
a lot.  He loves Psych.  He is always following him around."
     "What is his name?"
     "We don't know.  But we started calling him Mongo.  Then it became Mongo Crush."
     "Why Mongo Crush?"
     "You heard the command, right? Well, it was originally 'Mongo Crush'.  Since no
one knew his real name they started calling him that.  Imagine the surprised of some
the locals that Mongo attacked after hearing them say his name....  His name that was
a command to attack."
     Longshot chuckled at that.  Not that he wanted to see an innocent person
attacked for no reason.  But the mental image of the person's face when that hulking
form stalked towards them.  Fortunately the locals understood that Mongo was
'special' and forgave him.  Rebecca had retrained him and had plans to eventually
teach him enough to fight without being watched.
     That night, Longshot had dinner with the stable and his newest member.  The man
just sat there smiling.  The only time he showed any signs of being alive was when he
devoured the platter of steaks the waitress brought him.  Longshot's hand dropped to
his purse to check the weight.  Eight steaks tend to make an expensive meal.

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 356): PORT-A-FORTRESS of THE CHOSEN (Longshot, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 354): POSTAGE of EXPENSE ACCOUNT (Finance Manager, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 352): DRONE-ON of BAD NEWS BEES (Stinger, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 306): MASSEY of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 330): ROSELYN of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 324): SOUTH SPOON of OTTODROME TW (Otto X, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 311): MOLDAR NAY of MIDDLE WAY 6 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 305): GLOATING GARDENIA of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 289): DIAN WEI of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 282): JOHN WAYNE of TALL TALES (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 258): HALIFAX of BOMBS AWAY (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 259): TOO SHORT of BASH BROS HAIR CUT (Assurnasirbanipal)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 259): FRISBEE of FOUND IN THE SAND (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 74): CONTRACT BRIDGE of OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 257): GABBER KNIGHT of 500 BPM (The Mun, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 356): MIDDLE WAY 11 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 354): LORD OF DISCIPLINE (Longshot, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 352): BAD NEWS BEES (Stinger, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 306): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 330): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 324): OBG! (Howlin' Wolf, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 311): LIFE IMAPACTS (Coach, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 305): BASH BROS ROAD SIGN (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 289): ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 282): IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 258): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 259): MIDDLE WAY 9 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 256): SUPER STARS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 257): WAH CHING (Pec Killer, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 305): WOXTON of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 324): LATKA of SECOND BANANAS (Mannequin, mgr.)
                   (turn 323): FROSTY of FAST FOOD (Madwand, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 310): MATH of LIFE IMPACTS (Coach, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 281): KING MIDAS of TALL TALES (A-Sop, mgr.)
              (turn 280): INUYASHA of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 259): NAEFAN ORDH of MIDDLE WAY 9 (Jorja, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Finally!  I win one of these crowns!  I thought I was going to have to dodge
bullets forever, losing first to Madeline and then Pop Target, but here I am having
overcome Pop Target for The Title.  Hubba!  Double hubba!
     Finance manager gave me permission to talk about the interesting make up of our
team.  He said I could say anything about my teammates I want, as long as I said that
     We are made up of three offensives and two defensives.  Do these birth stats
bear that out?
ST 10,10,11,15,17
CN 4,4,10,14,16
SZ 5,9,11,11,14
WT 10,14,14,15,17
WL 9,9,10,16,20
SP 5,5,8,9,18
DF 10,13,15,21,21
I guess they do, don't they?
     Most of us don't go to church.  Is that significant?  Well, probably that is why
we are more hosed than blessed.  (sigh)  One with plus defense; one with negative
riposte; two with hosed damage.  Our bank accounts are blessed similarly.
     What a crew I run with, eh?  Well, gotta go to Finance Manager's scheduled
budget meeting.  He warned any of us whom are absent that we would be thrown over the
financial cliff.  (Whatta boss!)
                Postage, Duelmaster

                                      SPY REPORT

     Welcome MORYA.  I, Olaf Modeen remember this place well.  Many the fights have I 
fought here.  The celebrations, the disappointments...  What's with KIM?  It actually 
beat DODGE BULLETS' MARY MEI, and walked away with 18 more points from the fight.  
Major screwup at THE WOLF PACK.  TIGRESS lost 15 points to YELLOW TEETH.  Some new 
strategies, perhaps?  Maybe TIGRESS will provide more easy wins...  I'm sure MORYA is 
excited about LILY OF SARMATIA, the new Duelmaster from DODGE BULLETS.  (remember?)  
But when you've seen as many as I have...  Wouldn't it be nice to have live subjects 
to practice on?  I hear some team is looking into the uses of convicted prisoners.   
     No matter the time or place, men will always duel.  The most avoided team was 
ZODIAC.  Management must be dealin', as the boys at PHEBIOUS ain't reelin'!  ZODIAC's 
mad!  What do people see in PSYCHO DAD?  His 7-4-0?  LORD OF DISCIPLINE ain't 
talkin', but he's got 25 points.  BIG GUT didn't quite know what to make of a 
challenge he received from NEPTUNE of ZODIAC, who is 18 points below him.  NEPTUNE 
perhaps got his just desserts, seeing as he overcame BIG GUT and ended up with 16 
recognition points.   
     A fighter's lot is filled with strife, revenge, and killing.  Some fighters 
don't accept this.  The best do.  ELECTRIC BOOGALOO had a sure-fire victory when he 
challenged MALIK, 34 points below him.  Was anyone really surprised when MALIK bit 
it?  KOROSHIYA ICHI larned his lesson (TANK taught it well), and we right likely 
won't be seein' 'im fight any THE WOLF PACK members with the same gusto.  Is it my 
imagination, or are fighters getting younger every day?  To die so young, so 
     Many other cities have retirement homes for aged warriors.  Any plans here?  The 
end of another Spyreport!  That's cause for celebration in my book!  I don't want to 
overstay my welcome...-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LILY OF SARMATIA 4775        21  18  0   105       DODGE BULLETS (126)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE INFLUENCER 4938          12  10  0    99       LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543)
 CAPEX 4833                   15   7  3    94       EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)
 POSTAGE 4750                 25  16  1    92       EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 POP TARGET 4817              17  17  0    78       DODGE BULLETS (126)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FUNKY CHICKEN 4816           14  11  1    61       MY GENERATION (533)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KIM 4988                      6   1  0    51       THE WOLF PACK (546)
-ACCRUED INTEREST 4796         7   6  0    48       EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)
 CHREMATOPHOBIA 5002           2   4  0    43       PHEBIOUS (548)
-CASANOVA 4886                 5   6  0    41       BIZARRO SQUAD (537)
 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO 4813        4   3  2    40       MY GENERATION (533)
-HONG KONG FOOEY 4834          8   4  0    39       MY GENERATION (533)
 YELLOW TEETH 4914             4   1  0    38       BASH BROS BODY (541)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 STINK BREATH 5015             3   2  2    33       LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543)
 EYE BAGS 4910                 2   0  0    33       BASH BROS BODY (541)
 TANK 5017                     1   1  0    33       THE WOLF PACK (546)
 KOROSHIYA ICHI 4976           8   2  2    32       LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543)
 MARY MEI 5016                 4   1  0    28       DODGE BULLETS (126)
 LUCKY LOOIE 5022              2   1  0    27       DODGE BULLETS (126)
 OPHIDIOPHOBIA 5003            4   2  1    26       PHEBIOUS (548)
 PSYCHO DAD 4931               7   4  0    25       LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543)
 MERCURY 4974                  5   6  0    25       ZODIAC (536)
 TIGRESS 4990                  4   3  0    25       THE WOLF PACK (546)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TODD MAYES 4883               4   6  2    22       BIZARRO SQUAD (537)
 TRAVEL 5005                   4   1  0    21       EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)
-I'M JUST A BILL 4815          3   2  0    21       MY GENERATION (533)
 MONGO CRUSH 5024              2   0  0    21       LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543)
 INSURANCE 5006                2   3  0    17       EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)
 THEOPOBIA 5027                1   0  0    16       PHEBIOUS (548)
 NEPTUNE 5023                  1   1  0    16       ZODIAC (536)
 BIG GUT 4911                  2   1  0    15       BASH BROS BODY (541)
 HOMICHLOPHOBIA 5001           3   3  0    14       PHEBIOUS (548)
 VENUS 5013                    3   2  0    11       ZODIAC (536)
 PLUTO 5014                    2   3  0     9       ZODIAC (536)
-LORNE 4998                    1   0  0     9       WORLD BLADES II (547)
 KEIGHAN 5026                  1   0  0     8       THE WOLF PACK (546)
 URANUS 5025                   1   0  0     6       ZODIAC (536)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-OLAF R. BIZARRO 4928          1   2  0     5       BIZARRO SQUAD (537)
-RANDALL MAYES 4927            0   2  0     2       BIZARRO SQUAD (537)
-ROGER MAYES 4915              0   2  0     2       BIZARRO SQUAD (537)
 STORM WARNING 5033            0   1  0     1       DODGE BULLETS (126)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
SUMMER THUNDER 4975     2  8 0 DODGE BULLETS 126    HADEPHOBIA 5021       354   
AUROPHOBIA 5019         0  2 0 PHEBIOUS 548         STINK BREATH 5015     354   
HADEPHOBIA 5021         1  2 1 PHEBIOUS 548         STINK BREATH 5015     355   
KATNISS 5018            1  1 0 THE WOLF PACK 546    ELECTRIC BOOGALO 4813 354   
MALIK 5020              1  2 0 THE WOLF PACK 546    ELECTRIC BOOGALO 4813 355   
UNGAR 4989              3  1 0 THE WOLF PACK 546    KOROSHIYA ICHI 4976   352  JUST REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Longshot -- Loved the spot!  More. -- Finance Manager

I wonder if I did any good at The Face in Tempe?  I applied, and supposedly made the
last Consortium cut.  I want to travel and see what Phoenix is like, especially the
golf courses.  The girls, too, of course.  I hope it is warm enough for bikinis.  Oh,
and I'd like to win, too.  Of course. -- Travel, Expense Accounts
P.S.  Good thing I have my "own" money.  Finance Manager is awfully tight with the
expense account and budget!

Pop Target -- Perhaps Mom Target shouldn't have cut your budget? -- Postage, Expense

Lily Of Samartia -- I had a great time tussling with you.  I enjoyed watching your
assets jiggle. -- Capex, Expense accounts

Ophidiophobia -- If you are like the snake-in-the-grass, I am like the long-handled
hoe. (wink) -- Insurance, Expense Accounts

Stink Breath -- If I told you that you needed a mint, then perhaps I meant that you
needed to make your own money, or buy Fort Knox, or something like that.  I would
never have meant to imply that the fumes from your breath are toxic or smell like a
cat having just licked clean his own butt, or whatever.  I am too nice to tell the
truth and hurt your feelings.  Really. -- Travel, Expense Accounts

"Makes clever mistakes"!  I like that one, Jorja!  I see that in the expense
submittals to me all the time. (chuckling) -- Finance Manager

May the force be with you.
The best offense is a good defense.
Follow the money.
     Finance Manager

Stink Breath -- These things happen.  So accepted. -- Chremstaphobia

Stink Breath -- So of all my stable who is K.I.A.ed?  The one paid in anything but
gold. -- Fear Monger, mgr. Phebious

All -- Well, turn 354 sure left a lot of fighters cooling in the sun. -- Fear Monger

     What sun?  Where?

So!  Morya!  I was the most challenged?  Let me guess.  You thought I was a push
over.  Well you were wrong!  I ain't no wuss.  Get that through your thick domes! --
Stink Breath

Chrematophobia -- That fight was rigged.  How much did you pay the arena master to
throw it in your favor?  We will have our revenge. -- Psycho Dad

Funky Chicken -- Good fight.  I didn't expect the outcome. -- the Influencer

Mordant Deserter -- ...... -- Mongo Crush

Mordant Deserter -- He sure told you. -- Psycho Dad

AND ANOTHER THING!!!  When I find out who put breath mints in my locker, they will
get the same treatment that Aurophobia got!  You have been warned. -- Stink Breath

Finance Manager -- Jealousy is a bad thing.  What if your face freezes that way? --
Pop Target

Travel -- So, that kiss really got to you, did it?  We'll travel in a big, well-
sprung wagon with a bed in the back so you can rest. -- Mary Mei

The Influencer -- Well... perhaps Postage is right to be fearful of women.  We do
tend to be sharp-tongued, and we might rip him to pieces! -- Lily of Sarmatia

Hadephobia -- I could've gone a long time without that experience. -- Ghost of Summer
P.S.  An assassination?  Who hates me enough to pay for that?

Postage -- You definitely stamped on me! -- Pop Target

Capex -- You golems are so unsatisfying. -- Lily of Sarmatia

Yellow Teeth -- I trained as a dental technician, you know. -- Mary Mei

Venus -- Wow, I guess today I WAS lucky.  Cool! -- Lucky Looie

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

TANK bested KOROSHIYA ICHI in a 1 minute amateur vs. expert upset Bloodfeud fight.
HADEPHOBIA was murdered by STINK BREATH in a 1 minute gory one-sided Bloodfeud melee.
MALIK was dispatched by ELECTRIC BOOGALOO in a 1 minute Bloodfeud brawl.
YELLOW TEETH savagely defeated TIGRESS in a unpopular 13 minute Challenge match.
KIM vanquished MARY MEI in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
OPHIDIOPHOBIA beat PSYCHO DAD in a 6 minute Challenge brawl.
NEPTUNE unbelievably bested BIG GUT in a 5 minute gruesome Challenge fight.
PLUTO was outwaited by TRAVEL in a crowd boring 16 minute Challenge duel.
POSTAGE was vanquished by LILY OF SARMATIA in a 3 minute uneven Title fight.
THE INFLUENCER overpowered POP TARGET in a 2 minute gory uneven match.
CAPEX overpowered FUNKY CHICKEN in a 1 minute one-sided match.
MERCURY was devastated by EYE BAGS in a exciting 1 minute mismatched conflict.
CHREMATOPHOBIA demolished AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
HOMICHLOPHOBIA was unbelievably bested by MONGO CRUSH in a popular 4 minute conflict.
VENUS was vanquished by THEOPOBIA in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
INSURANCE was unbelievably bested by LUCKY LOOIE in a 2 minute bloody novice's fray.
URANUS viciously subdued STORM WARNING in a exciting 1 minute brutal novice's brawl.
KEIGHAN beat MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute novice's bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         PARRY-STRIKE       6 -   3 -  0      67  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         SLASHING ATTACK   29 -  22 -  3      57  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         LUNGING ATTACK    11 -   9 -  2      55  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     12 -  11 -  0      52  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         AIMED BLOW        26 -  24 -  3      52  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         TOTAL PARRY       27 -  26 -  0      51  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         STRIKING ATTACK   25 -  30 -  1      45  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         WALL OF STEEL     18 -  22 -  1      45  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-LUNGE        8 -  10 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         BASHING ATTACK    22 -  28 -  2      44  |

Turn 355 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        3 -  4         3  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         1 -  2         2  AIMED BLOW     
SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  2     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  2         1  STRIKING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  1                                       1  PARRY-STRIKE   
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  2                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  1                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  2                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  LUNGING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-STRIKE     THE INFLUENCER 4938        12  10  0   99 LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543)
BASHING ATTACK   CAPEX 4833                 15   7  3   94 EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)
TOTAL PARRY      POSTAGE 4750               25  16  1   92 EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)
SLASHING ATTACK  FUNKY CHICKEN 4816         14  11  1   61 MY GENERATION (533)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    YELLOW TEETH 4914           4   1  0   38 BASH BROS BODY (541)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is LILY OF SARMATIA 4775.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was LILY OF SARMATIA 4775.  The ten other most popular fighters were 

The least popular fighter this week was TRAVEL 5005.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were PLUTO 5014, TIGRESS 4990, PSYCHO DAD 4931, YELLOW TEETH 4914, STORM 
MEI 5016.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:


                           AVOIDS, BLOODFEUDS, & CHALLENGES

                                       by Pagan

     Ever wonder how the whole challenge/avoid thing works?
     Who you fight depends on exactly how it works.  We will never know exactly how it 
works unless we can get a look at the coding for the program, but this is how I think 
it works:

The Situation:
     The system allows a warrior to make two separate challenges and two distinct 
     Avoids are distinct in that they MUST indicate a specific team to be avoided, so 
a "double avoid" indicates a single team twice, which by default means you are 
avoiding one team.  In this case, the second avoid is a duplicate and therefore a 
waste of an avoid.
     Challenges are to specific warriors.  You have a first challenge, and then you 
have a second challenge.

The Process:
     First the computer removes all Dark Arena challengers from the list of available 
     Second, the computer checks for WHO fights WHO by going though all TVs and 
bloodfeuds, which are 100% sure to go through except in four instances:
     1. the warrior challenged does not fight,
     2. the warrior challenged is also making a bloodfeud or TV challenge and that 
challenge has already been assigned,
     3. the warrior has already been assigned to a Dark Arena fight,
     4. that warrior has declared your team to be one of his warrior's avoids, 
reducing your challenge to 50%.
     Third, the computer assesses all the regular first-challenge warriors and assigns 
fights.  All other challenges are at 100% chance of success except in a few instances:  
warrior challenged is going to the DA, warrior challenged is involved in a previously 
assigned challenge, warrior challenged is not running this turn, or warrior challenged 
has avoided your team at 50% chance to avoid.
     Fourth, the computer assesses and assigns all secondary challenges of warriors 
not so far assigned for bloodfeuds and TVs.
     Fifth, the computer assesses and assigns all the regular second challenges.
     Sixth, the computer assigns random matchups in each available class starting with 
the highest class first.
     Seventh, the computer finds the remaining warriors that have successfully avoided 
all first and second challenges and/or who also did not get randomly assigned, AND for 
whom no more available warriors remain in their class for random pairing.  All of 
these warriors get RSI-generated warriors to fight based on their class.
     So, if I'm right and avoids reduce the chance for a challenge to 50%, then:
     In the absence of an avoid
          single challenge = 100% success
          double challenge = 100% success, then an additional 100% success
     Where an avoid is involved
          single challenge vs avoid = 50% success
          double challenge vs avoid = 75% (chance to avoid is 0.5 * 0.5 = 0.25; 1 - 
0.25 = 75% chance to succeed

     Bloodfeuds and TVs may increase the percentage chance of success above 100%, or 
they may not.  I feel that their increased ability to get through is based solely on 
the way the computer assigns challenges.  They are first, so they are most likely to 
go through.  The 100% chance for a challenge to succeed is 100% if it's a TV bloodfeud 
and you are the first one to get assigned a fight that day because you are also the 
Duelmaster.  But after that the chances start to diminish rapidly.
     The run-through for second challenges theoretically means your challenge should 
be 100% but it's not the case if you are the LAST guy the computer goes to for finding 
     If you don't double challenge, you significantly lower your chance to get your 
challenge through.  The second challenge is not equal to the first challenge.