Date   : 03/01/2013    Duedate: 03/28/2013


DM-28    TURN-356

This Weeks Top Honors


(28-4938) [13-10-0,112]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

THE INFLUENCER                 TANK
(28-4938) [13-10-0,112]        (28-5017) [2-1-1,53]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

(28-4775) [21-19-0,90]         (28-4976) [9-2-2,39]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543)    42
2. EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)       25      EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)
3. ZODIAC (536)                 9      Unchartered Team
4. THE WOLF PACK (546)          7
5. BASH BROS BODY (541)         4      BASH BROS BODY (541)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*WORLD BLADES II (547)      1   0  0  100   1/ 1 LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543) 11  4 2
 2/ 2*BASH BROS BODY (541)      10   3  0 76.9   2/ 5 EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)     8  2 0
 3/ 3 EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)    149  87  4 63.1   3/ 3*PHEBIOUS (548)            7  8 1
 4- 4 MY GENERATION (533)       53  33  4 61.6   4/ 2*THE WOLF PACK (546)       6  9 1
 5/ 5*THE WOLF PACK (546)       20  18  1 52.6   5/ 4 DODGE BULLETS (126)       6  9 0
 6/ 6 LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543) 215 209 15 50.7   6/ 8*BASH BROS BODY (541)      4  3 0
 7/ 7 DODGE BULLETS (126)      486 488 14 49.9   7/ 6 ZODIAC (536)              4 11 0
 8/ 8 ZODIAC (536)              51  67  1 43.2   8- 7 MY GENERATION (533)       2  2 2
 9/ 9*PHEBIOUS (548)            13  21  2 38.2   9- 9*WORLD BLADES II (547)     1  0 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

(Check out DM-11's newsletter for a continuation of Mongo's story line)

     The practice area was alive with the sound of combat.  The practice area wasn't
spectacular.  It looked like a smaller scale version of the actual arena.  It was
100'x60' in size with bleachers for people to watch the practice sessions.  Some of
the more fanatical fans of the games would pay an eighth of a wheel to see their
favorite practice.  That is, if the warrior practicing allowed them.  Sometimes the
most adoring fan can be a distraction.  Today it was empty except for two spectators.
The combatants danced around the circled area; their bodies weaving and dodging
around on the matted floor looking for weakness in their opponent's defenses.  The
sound of wood smashing against wood was deafening.  Then there was a loud thwacking
sound and the two separated and began circling each other.  On one end of the
training mat stood a man with an angry red face.  His sweaty blonde hair clung to his
face just above a fresh knot on his forehead.  On the floor, his dented practice
helmet lay.  The bump would turn an ugly purple by tomorrow morning.  He mentally
dreaded what his body would look like after he took off the padded armor.  He held
his wooden sword in his left hand.  His eyes were desperately scanning for any
weakness.  He couldn't let this little insolent witch get away with hitting him.  It
was bad enough that she had hurt three of the other sparrers.  Liam had what looked
like a broken arm.  Blaine's body was covered in welts and bruises and Claire walked
away holding her jaw.  The apothecary suspected it was broken.  They didn't get paid
enough for this kind of abuse.
     Opposite of the assailant stood a petit warrior; her wooden sword held in a two-
handed side guard.  It was as if she was daring her opponent to charge her.  The
woman's lungs pumped franticly for air.  Her blood circulating in a rush thanks to
the adrenaline flooding her being.  She was Rirorni.  She felt at home in battle.
She wore her long black hair in a ponytail.  She did not wear a helm for protection
and didn't seem to need it either.  Her dark skin was unblemished.  A mischievous
smile was on her face and made her dark almond shaped eyes sparkle.  This was taking
too long.  With a shout, the woman charged her opponent.  Before the man could bring
his sword up in a defense, she had scored five hits about her target's head and
shoulders.  The blonde man went down with thud.
     "I yield!" He cried.  The words came out in a high pitched tone.
     The Rirorni woman's wooden sword stopped a hair from the man's up raised hand.
You could see her mentally debating if she should follow through and hit him anyway.
Instead she drew back her sword and turned to walk to the other side of the mat.  The
blond man slowly picked himself up and stared at her back.  His eyes were shooting
invisible daggers into her.  He didn't dare to take a cheap shot and strike while her
back was turned.  That is what earned Liam the broken arm.  A fat man walked over to
him and placed a half wheel in his hand, muttered 'good job' and guided him to the
exit.  The fat man's assistant waved over a fresh opponent.  The boy looked
terrified.  The Rirorni woman asked if the boy was ready.  He had time to put his
sword on guard and nod before she was charging at him.  Her wooden sword was raised
above her head.  She repeatedly hit the young man in his chest and arms.  He dropped
like a sack of potatoes.  The poor idiot was too scared and dazed with pain to even
cry out 'yield'.  He just lay there being beat with the wooden sword until someone
shouted 'time'.  The Rirorni stopped and walked back to her corner.  The boy was
taken out on a stretcher and a fresh opponent was led to the slaughter.  The fat man
shoved a half wheel in the barely conscious boy's hand as they carried him out.
     Salina grew bored with watching the practice.  Soon her mind began to wander.
Her green eyes scanned the rest of the empty area.  She could see other people
standing in the waiting area in hopes of making a little money sparring.  The Harkeny
girl's stomach rumbled and her thoughts quickly turned to food.
     "Man, I am starting to get hungry." She said and cut her emerald eyes to see
what her friend would say.  Rebecca didn't answer.  She was too engrossed in watching
the Rirorni on the mats.  Over the past month, Rebecca had become obsessed with the
Rirorni woman on the mats.
     "Hey, Rebecca.  Why are you so interested in Lily anyway?  It's not like this is
your first time fighting her."
     The question broke the spell that she was under, and for the first time since
arriving, she looked at her teammate.  That is when she noticed that Salina hadn't
combed her hair today.  Her straight red strands stuck out in various place.
     "You never met Domi, Salina."
     Salina had heard the name a couple of time.  It was mostly when Rebecca and
Longshot were nostalgic about the old days.  Salina always wanted to ask who this
person was.  But she was still new to the stable.
     Rebecca continued, "Domi was my sister.  We signed on with Longshot at the same
time back in Monuntial.  I never cared for the games.  But Domi loved them.  She was
eager to graduate to the Isle and serve as a Lady Protector.  I only signed up for
the games because of her.  We had planned to serve together.  We planned on calling
ourselves 'the Sisters Immortal'.  Rebecca said the last part with a smile.  "She was
slain in combat on our ninth fight."
     Salina thought she saw Rebecca's eyes welling up.  The elf rarely showed this
side and it was a little unnerving to the Harkeny.  She considered reaching in her
side pouch and handing her a clean handkerchief.  But would that make her friend feel
     "I think I could handle it if it was a clean kill...."
     In the background was the sound of another sparring partner going down.  The
woman yelled yield and immediately began crying.  She had lost her helmet and had her
hand to her mouth.  Blood was seeping between her fingers and three teeth lay on the
     Salina dared not to talk.  She didn't have any idea of what to say.
     "Longshot was having problems with one of the commissioners.  It wasn't serious.
It was mostly words.  You should have seen Longshot back in the day.  Now he is an
old man who loves his books, cigars, and whiskey.  But back then, he was a spitfire.
Do you know that he once picked a 260 pound man up on his shoulder and carried him
around like he was a baby?  The two were full of beer and goofing off.  His mouth had
a mind of its own too.  He could get the best of someone in the personal ads.  Maybe
if he would have just gone with the crowd, things would have been different.  But he
never did that.  Anyway, strange things started to happen.  His bread and butter, his
star warriors were dying from minor wounds.
     There were so many questionable deaths; Cody, the Man, Shard, and Domi, just to
name a few.  The strange deaths even hit in his Andorian stables.  Domi's death hit
him hardest, but the death of the Man was the last straw.  The Man mastered and
advanced in ways that others could not keep up with.  He might have been a better
fighter than Domi.  It happened at one of the tourneys.  Man was telling us that he
didn't feel well.  We all thought he had gone out drinking the night before, but he
denied it.  He did have some water before his match.  We all thought that he might
have had too much.  His opponent was this clumsy unskilled basher.  I forget what
city.  Man was making this guy look sick.  And then there was one lucky hit.  No
problem we thought.  Man had taken worse.  We don't know if there was something on
the blade of that axe or in the water he drank.  But Man died there on the sands.  He
barely had eleven fights under his belt! Longshot quit months later because there
were more strange deaths in his stables.  He sold his tavern in Monuntial, disbanded
his stables, and became a recluse in his house in Seam.  But the whole time he blamed
himself for the death of Domi and so many others."
     Rebecca took a deep breath.  It was as if she was deflating.  This had obviously
been on her chest for a while.
     "So, that is why I want the title of duelmistress so badly and to graduate to
the Isle.  I'm doing it for my sister."
     Salina sat there quietly.  There was nothing that she could say.  Her stomach
rumbled louder.  Rebecca took the hint and suggested that they go and get some food.
Salina quickly agreed.  When Rebecca stood, Lily of Sarmatia stopped beating on her
newest target and looked up.  The sweat rolled down her face like a river.  Her
breathing was still labored.  Lily raised her wooden sword in a salute to Rebecca.
The Araori elf returned the salute by tapping her eyebrow with the first two fingers
of her right hand and nodded.
     Salina and Rebecca exited to the sound of another poor bastard being beat within
an inch of their life.

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                              ---===SLOW ARENA NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 358): PENNY of YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 355): LILY OF SARMATIA of DODGE BULLETS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 353): DRONE-ON of BAD NEWS BEES (Stinger, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 309): MASSEY of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 331): ROSELYN of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 325): SOUTH SPOON of OTTODROME TW (Otto X, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 312): 4-H of LIFE IMPACTS (Smitty, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 306): CONFLICT of DRAGONS GUARD II (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 290): DIAN WEI of ASIAN INVASION (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 283): COCO NUTTAL of ISLANDERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 259): SINCEMILLA of WRATHMEN XIV (Khradmon, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 260): TOO SHORT of BASH BROS HAIR CUT (Assurnasirbanipal)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 260): MRALISSA LOON of MIDDLE WAY 18 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 75): CONTRACT BRIDGE of OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 258): GABBER KNIGHT of 500 BPM (The Mun, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 358): MIDDLE WAY 11 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 355): LORD OF DISCIPLINE (Longshot, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 353): BAD NEWS BEES (Stinger, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 309): THE MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 331): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 325): OBG! (Howlin' Wolf, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 312): LIFE IMAPACTS (Smitty, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 306): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 290): TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 283): IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 259): PIZZA TOPPINGS (Warlock, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 260): BASH BROS HAIRCUT (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 260): MIDDLE WAY 18 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 75): PUNY ORC PELOTON (slugbait, mgr.)
 DM 106 CRYSALIS (turn 258): CRAZY CREEPS (Consortium, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 355): POSTAGE of EXPENSE ACCOUNT (Finance Manager, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 353): DRONE-ON of BAD NEWS BEES (Stinger, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 325): TALKEETNA of ALASKAN PIPELINE (Storm Lord, mgr.)
                               TEMPTRESS of LUROCIAN DEVILS (The Greek Guy, mgr.)
                               SCOMSSS'S NIGHTMARE of THE OPERA (Manager, mgr.)
                   (turn 324): LATKA of SECOND BANANAS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 306): CAUSTIC CROCUS of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 259): NAEFAN ORDH of MIDDLE WAY 9 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  83 TELORINTHE (turn 074): LIFE SCOUT of OLDIES (Coach, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     A good try, Postage, but when I got *my* stamps, they were Forever.  (Or at
least until next week!)  I may see you somewhere down the road, but my guess is
probably not.  Even if I graduate, too, I'm staying here.

                                 Lily of Sarmatia

                                      SPY REPORT

     So why do I have this bag over my head?  Because I am The Unknown Spymaster and 
I'm going to give you a spy report!.  Coming up with a solid 3-0-0 outing, EXPENSE 
ACCOUNT has advanced 3 places in the rankings.  Hey everybody, watch out for TANK, 
who flew up 20 points in the rankings after mashing YELLOW TEETH like a melon.  Keep 
your eye on this guy.  And falling like a basher in the top ten was MARY MEI, who 
dropped 14 points after a disappointing (to say the least) bout with INSURANCE.  What 
does the Duelmaster and Piltdown Man have in common?  They are both the most 
challenged apes in human history!  Heyheyhey!  Drawing on all of hers experience as a 
12-10-0 warrior, THE INFLUENCER went for the Duelmastership against LILY OF SARMATIA 
this week.  It's a proud day for the LORD OF DISCIPLINE stable, as their warrior, THE 
INFLUENCER, ascended the Duelmaster's throne.  Can you believe they are paying me 10 
gold to deliver this stuff?   
     But enough of that bunch, let's get on to the wimps who like to avoid battle!  
Did you hear that ZODIAC was most avoided team this week?  Well, knowing the personal 
hygiene of ZODIAC's warriors, I'm not surprised!  For those of you who like math, try 
this one:  ZODIAC + Weapons That go Boom = PHEBIOUS + Avoid City.  Was it guts or an 
overtaxed mental capacity that had PSYCHO DAD challenge up 26 points in the rankings 
to take on KIM?  I don't know about you, but when I saw PSYCHO DAD step out on the 
sands with KIM, I though it was over before it started.  Good upset PSYCHO DAD!   
     Being a spy is great--other people die and you spend the rest of the day 
drinking to their memory.  Better tanked than dead!  Yes, and another newbie bites 
the dust as YELLOW TEETH goes down under the sword of TANK.  Thanks to this, TANK now 
has 53 recognition points.  Ask not the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes 
and no.  Silly buggers, eh?   
     Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in MORYA have no 
sense of humor.  Or maybe that they were senseless.  Okay, so I may not be the 
world's best comedian, but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  Hasta la 
bye-bye.  (Loud choruses of 'Beat it, ya bum!')-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE INFLUENCER 4938          13  10  0   112       LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CAPEX 4833                   16   7  3   100       EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LILY OF SARMATIA 4775        21  19  0    90       DODGE BULLETS (126)
 POP TARGET 4817              17  18  0    74       DODGE BULLETS (126)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-FUNKY CHICKEN 4816           14  11  1    61       MY GENERATION (533)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TANK 5017                     2   1  1    53       THE WOLF PACK (546)
-ACCRUED INTEREST 4796         7   6  0    48       EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)
 PSYCHO DAD 4931               8   4  0    46       LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543)
-ELECTRIC BOOGALOO 4813        4   3  2    40       MY GENERATION (533)
 KOROSHIYA ICHI 4976           9   2  2    39       LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543)
-HONG KONG FOOEY 4834          8   4  0    39       MY GENERATION (533)
 EYE BAGS 4910                 3   0  0    39       BASH BROS BODY (541)
 KIM 4988                      6   2  0    35       THE WOLF PACK (546)
 STINK BREATH 5015             4   2  2    35       LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 INSURANCE 5006                3   3  0    33       EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)
 LUCKY LOOIE 5022              3   1  0    33       DODGE BULLETS (126)
 CHREMATOPHOBIA 5002           2   5  0    31       PHEBIOUS (548)
 MERCURY 4974                  5   7  0    26       ZODIAC (536)
 BIG GUT 4911                  3   1  0    26       BASH BROS BODY (541)
 TRAVEL 5005                   5   1  0    24       EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TIGRESS 4990                  4   4  0    24       THE WOLF PACK (546)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OPHIDIOPHOBIA 5003            4   3  1    22       PHEBIOUS (548)
 VENUS 5013                    4   2  0    21       ZODIAC (536)
-I'M JUST A BILL 4815          3   2  0    21       MY GENERATION (533)
 MONGO CRUSH 5024              2   1  0    20       LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543)
 THEOPOBIA 5027                2   0  0    18       PHEBIOUS (548)
 HOMICHLOPHOBIA 5001           3   4  0    15       PHEBIOUS (548)
 STORM WARNING 5033            1   1  0    15       DODGE BULLETS (126)
 MARY MEI 5016                 4   2  0    14       DODGE BULLETS (126)
 KEIGHAN 5026                  2   0  0    11       THE WOLF PACK (546)
 PLUTO 5014                    2   4  0    10       ZODIAC (536)
-LORNE 4998                    1   0  0     9       WORLD BLADES II (547)
 URANUS 5025                   1   1  0     4       ZODIAC (536)
 PTERONOPHOBIA 5039            0   1  0     1       PHEBIOUS (548)
 WULF WULFENSON 5040           0   1  0     1       THE WOLF PACK (546)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
YELLOW TEETH 4914       4  2 0 BASH BROS BODY 541   TANK 5017             356   
SUMMER THUNDER 4975     2  8 0 DODGE BULLETS 126    HADEPHOBIA 5021       354  NONE
AUROPHOBIA 5019         0  2 0 PHEBIOUS 548         STINK BREATH 5015     354   
HADEPHOBIA 5021         1  2 1 PHEBIOUS 548         STINK BREATH 5015     355   
KATNISS 5018            1  1 0 THE WOLF PACK 546    ELECTRIC BOOGALO 4813 354   
MALIK 5020              1  2 0 THE WOLF PACK 546    ELECTRIC BOOGALO 4813 355   
UNGAR 4989              3  1 0 THE WOLF PACK 546    KOROSHIYA ICHI 4976   352  REVENGED
NEPTUNE 5023            1  2 0 ZODIAC 536           WURM KIN              356  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Travel -- Does everyone see this?  Travel isn't such a bad per...er...thing.  He even
knows how to treat a lady.  No one else round here has the class to say such nice
thi... wait a minute....  Oh, I guess you find that funny.  Ha ha ha....  So friggin'
hilarious.  Jerk! -- Stink Breath

Pop Target -- You kind of looked like a turtle rolling around on your back. -- the

Chrematophobia -- Was that accepted as well? -- Stink Breath

Homichlophobia -- ...... -- Mongo Crush

We don't think we should use that kind of language in the personal ads, Mongo.  What
would Longshot think? - Psycho Dad

Electric Boogaloo -- I thought Stink Breath was the only one to get consecutive kills
last turn.  But it looks like there were hearts you were breakin' too. :) -- Longshot

Hadephobia -- Enjoy your fear. -- Stink Breath

Wolf Pack -- Well done!  Topping the charts with 47 BIG points!  Pardon us if we
wisely avoid all of you.  My expense Accounts simply cannot afford it. -- Finance

Longshot -- What a fine, fine spotlight.  Keep up the great work, Big Guy! -- Finance

Lily -- I couldn't have lost to a more worthy and more lovely Duelmaster.  Good luck
to you. -- Postage, Expense Accounts

Indeed, Lily Of Samartia, all of us in the Expense Account Clan salute a fine, fine
Duelmistress. -- Finance Manager

Funky Chicken -- I suspect that my assets were a little more worthy, while yours were
a little too funky. -- Capex, Expense Accounts (feeling quite proud of that win)

Luck Looie -- You weren't lucky; you were just plain better than me.  Kudos. --
Insurance, Expense Accounts

Pluto -- Thanks for the challenge.  It was a long, long way to travel to Pluto.  But
I like traveling, and I like that big W on my record.  May we travel together again
sometime in the near future. -- Travel, Expense Accounts

Postage's time in Morya is limited as he has been stamped as Lord Protector.  I
thought I might share his stats.  He was not a very good design, performed quite
inconsistently, and created big budget deficits--just like his namesake, the USPS.
born 10-16-14-10-16-5-13 good damage, good endu (+2 defense)
buffed up to 12-17-14-11-18-5-15 good/great
skill learn rate 1.30
26-15-1 arena, 1 DM Crown
weapons?  Seldom swang, seldom connected, although a kill with the SC (0/7/0)
expert parry, expert defense
We hope he enjoys his retirement with that big USPS pension. -- Finance Manager

Money saved is money earned. -- Finance manager

     Surely not!  Money saved is money already earned and not spent.  It isn't MORE

Koroshiya Ichi -- Well fought. -- Tank

Mary Mei -- You are a brave and valient warrior, it was a pleasure to face you. --

Electric Boogaloo -- My pack will be avenged for the 2 fallen wolves. -- Wolf, team

Postage -- Huh, try telling Mom that!  She's out there squeezing the coppers right
now! -- Pop Target

Capex -- Too bad you didn't have any assets of your own! -- Lily of Sarmatia

Our congratulations to Postage.  Does that mean the stamps are going up again? --
Jorja and the Bullet Dodgers

Kim -- There are too many neuter golems around here.  You *can* get a gender
attachment, you know. -- Mary Mei

The Influencer -- Well, drat.  Remind me not to go drinking with you before we settle
down to bargaining next time. -- Pop Target

Insurance -- Ha!  It wasn't luck, it was... um.  Well, maybe it was luck. -- Lucky

Uranus -- Do you suppose I can change my mind? -- Storm Warning

Tigress -- The problem with the fight to keep good looking teeth is that it is easy
to lose ground, but very very hard to make it back up. -- Yellow Teeth

Mercury -- Being so close to the sun, no wonder you suffer. -- Eye Bags

Neptune -- I did my best, but I'm more suited for sitting on a couch and watching. --
Big Gut

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

NEPTUNE was butchered by WURM KIN in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
HOMICHLOPHOBIA lost to STINK BREATH in a 1 minute gruesome Bloodfeud battle.
THE INFLUENCER demolished LILY OF SARMATIA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge Title fight.
PSYCHO DAD bested KIM in a 4 minute Challenge contest.
TANK assassinated YELLOW TEETH in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
INSURANCE devastated MARY MEI in a 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
BIG GUT defeated MERCURY in a 2 minute Challenge struggle.
MONGO CRUSH was savagely defeated by EYE BAGS in a 3 minute Challenge brawl.
CAPEX vanquished POP TARGET in a 1 minute uneven duel.
CHREMATOPHOBIA was overpowered by AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 1 minute uneven duel.
KOROSHIYA ICHI defeated TIGRESS in a exciting 4 minute fight.
LUCKY LOOIE overcame OPHIDIOPHOBIA in a 1 minute bout.
VENUS overpowered OSKSI NOBLE in a 1 minute one-sided match.
PLUTO was outwaited by TRAVEL in a unpopular 14 minute conflict.
STORM WARNING demolished URANUS in a 1 minute gory mismatched match.
KEIGHAN overcame PTERONOPHOBIA in a 2 minute novice's conflict.
THEOPOBIA won victory over WULF WULFENSON in a 1 minute amateur's bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  6         PARRY-STRIKE       7 -   2 -  0      78  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         SLASHING ATTACK   30 -  22 -  3      58  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     12 -  10 -  0      55  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         LUNGING ATTACK     9 -   8 -  2      53  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         AIMED BLOW        25 -  23 -  3      52  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         TOTAL PARRY       26 -  30 -  0      46  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         BASHING ATTACK    23 -  27 -  3      46  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-LUNGE        8 -  10 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         WALL OF STEEL     16 -  20 -  1      44  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         STRIKING ATTACK   24 -  32 -  1      43  |

Turn 356 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         1 -  2         2  BASHING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  4         2  AIMED BLOW     
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        2 -  4         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  1                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  2                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-STRIKE     THE INFLUENCER 4938        13  10  0  112 LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543)
BASHING ATTACK   CAPEX 4833                 16   7  3  100 EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)
TOTAL PARRY      PSYCHO DAD 4931             8   4  0   46 LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543)
AIMED BLOW       KOROSHIYA ICHI 4976         9   2  2   39 LORD OF DISCIPLINE (543)
SLASHING ATTACK  KIM 4988                    6   2  0   35 THE WOLF PACK (546)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is LILY OF SARMATIA 4775.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was KOROSHIYA ICHI 4976.  The ten other most popular fighters were EYE BAGS 
4910, KIM 4988, BIG GUT 4911, STINK BREATH 5015, INSURANCE 5006, MERCURY 4974, CAPEX 
4833, STORM WARNING 5033, KEIGHAN 5026, and THEOPOBIA 5027.

The least popular fighter this week was TRAVEL 5005.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were PLUTO 5014, OPHIDIOPHOBIA 5003, CHREMATOPHOBIA 5002, POP TARGET 4817, 

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn: