DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 12/05/2014    Duedate: 01/01/2015

MORYA ARENA

DM-28    TURN-379

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

LUNA KNIGHT
LUNAE MILITES (387)
(28-3445) [16-19-0,108]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

EYE BAGS                       POSITION IS EMPTY
BASH BROS BODY (541)           
(28-4910) [12-0-0,144]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

DEEDERS                        EYE BAGS
TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)          BASH BROS BODY (541)
(28-5419) [10-8-1,59]          (28-4910) [12-0-0,144]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

LUNAE MILITES (387)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. LUNAE MILITES (387)         57
2. BIG SHOTS (574)             49      BIG SHOTS (574)
3. OF WOLF AND MAN (558)       43      Unchartered Team
4. UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)       40
5. MEAN PEOPLE (514)           39      MEAN PEOPLE (514)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 BIG SHOTS (574)           82  42  3 66.1   1/ 9 LUNAE MILITES (387)      10  0 2
 2- 3 EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)    196 110  6 64.1   2/ 2*MEAN PEOPLE (514)        10  4 1
 3/ 7*MEAN PEOPLE (514)         24  15  3 61.5   3/ 1*NEW MISFITS (565)        10  5 1
 4/ 5 PANDORA'S CARDS (570)     59  40  3 59.6   4/15 SEA DOGS (567)            8  2 2
 5- 8*RUMBLE FROGS (572)         4   3  1 57.1   5/ 4 LORDS OF DISCIPLIN (543)  8  6 1
 6/ 2*NEW MISFITS (565)         14  11  1 56.0   6/14 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)     7  3 1
 7/ 9 BASH BROS BODY (541)      26  22  0 54.2   7/10 OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)    7  3 0
 8/10 OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)   235 208 10 53.0   8/ 5*THRESHOLD (560)           7  8 0
 9/11 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)     48  43  2 52.7   9/17 COMIC STRIPS (557)        6  4 2
10/12 LORDS OF DISCIPLIN (543) 272 254 17 51.7  10/20 CLASSIC ARCADE (415)      6  4 0
11/13 SEA DOGS (567)           150 141 11 51.5  11/21 BASH BROS BODY (541)      6  5 0
12/ 4*GOLDEN OLDIES (577)        8   8  0 50.0  12/12 SERPENTS HOLD (575)       6  7 0
13/16 LUNAE MILITES (387)       77  80  7 49.0  13/22 TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)     6  9 1
14/15 MAGICAL MADNESS (417)     49  53  1 48.0  14/23*JUGGALO RYDAZ (562)       6  9 1
15/ 6*THRESHOLD (560)            7   8  0 46.7  15/11 PANDORA'S CARDS (570)     5  5 0
16/18 CLASSIC ARCADE (415)      62  72  4 46.3  16/27*OF WOLF AND MAN (558)     5  5 0
17/30*OF WOLF AND MAN (558)      5   6  0 45.5  17/ 3*MOST LEE (561)            5  7 0
18/20 COMIC STRIPS (557)        18  23  2 43.9  18/ 7 BIG SHOTS (574)           5  8 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/19*BIG LAKE PURE (568)        8  11  1 42.1  19/ 8*BIG LAKE PURE (568)       5  9 1
20/22 TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)     42  60  5 41.2  20- 6 EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)     4  5 0
21/21*MOST LEE (561)            13  19  0 40.6  21/26 MAGICAL MADNESS (417)     4  8 0
22/24*STAFF OF LIFE (556)       14  26  0 35.0  22/13*STAFF OF LIFE (556)       4 11 0
23-25*KARA NO TANI (559)         8  17  1 32.0  23-19*RUMBLE FROGS (572)        3  2 1
24/27*JUGGALO RYDAZ (562)        8  17  1 32.0  24/24*NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)     3  7 1
25-26*CARESS OF STEEL (549)      5  11  1 31.3  25/25*GOLDEN OLDIES (577)       3  7 0
26/23*NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)      3   7  1 30.0  26/29*FANATIC FURY (544)        3  9 0
27/29*FANATIC FURY (544)         4  11  0 26.7  27-16*KARA NO TANI (559)        2  8 0
28/28 SERPENTS HOLD (575)       21  63  1 25.0  28-28*CARESS OF STEEL (549)     1  0 0
29-31*ACTION SIX NEWS (569)      0   5  0  0.0  29-31*ACTION SIX NEWS (569)     0  5 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                           Slaughter Contest
                             Turn 1 Report

                               Turn        Turn  Total  Total
Score  Team                    Record      Score Fights DA's
 6     OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)  5-0-0-0, Y    6   5/5    0
 6     LUNAE MILITES (387)     5-0-1-0, N    6   5/5    0
 5     UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)   4-1-1-0, Y    5   5/5    0
 4     SEA DOGS (567)          4-1-1-0, N    4   5/5    0
 4     NEW MISFITS (565)       4-1-0-0, Y    4   5/5    0
 3     COMIC STRIPS (557)      2-2-2-0, Y    3   4/5    0
 2     RUMBLE FROGS (572)      3-2-1-0, N    2   5/5    0
 2     PANDORA'S CARDS (570)   3-2-0-0, Y    2   5/5    0
 2     MEAN PEOPLE (514)       3-2-0-0, Y    2   5/5    0
 1     MOST LEE (561)          3-2-0-0, N    1   5/5    0
 1     CLASSIC ARCADE (415)    3-2-0-1, Y    1   5/5    0
 0     FANATIC FURY (544)      1-2-0-0, Y    0   3/5    0
 0     SERPENTS HOLD (575)     2-3-0-0, Y    0   5/5    0
 0     MAGICAL MADNESS (417)   2-3-0-0, Y    0   5/5    0
 0     GOLDEN OLDIES (577)     2-3-0-0, Y    0   5/5    0
 0     GAMECOCKS (3)           0-0-0-0, N    0   0/5    0
 0     BIG LAKE PURE (568)     2-3-0-0, N   -1   5/5    0
 0     BASH BROS BODY (541)    2-3-0-0, Y    0   5/5    0
-1     THRESHOLD (560)         2-3-0-1, Y   -1   5/5    0
-1     NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)   2-3-1-2, Y   -1   5/5    0
-2     STAFF OF LIFE (556)     1-4-0-0, Y   -2   5/5    0
-2     TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)   2-3-0-1, N   -2   5/5    0
-2     OF WOLF AND MAN (558)   1-4-0-0, Y   -2   5/5    0
-3     BIG SHOTS (574)         0-4-0-0, Y   -3   4/5    0
-6     ACTION SIX NEWS (569)   0-5-0-2, Y   -6   5/5    0
-6     JUGGALO RYDAZ (562)     2-3-0-0, Y    0   5/5    0
-6     EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)   4-1-0-0, Y    4   5/5    0

NOTES:
The moderators have decided to give some measure of grace to two teams.
The rules were printed in full on turn 376 (back in September).
By the rules:
    Juggalo Rydaz was DQ'd on a Bloodfeud Challenge.
    Expense Account was DQ'd on Avoids.
In case there was confusion or forgetfulness about the rules, these two teams have
been given the minimum score for the turn and NOT disqualified.

All input errors or personal ad omissions must be confirmed FROM RSI as RSI mistakes
to get credit.
    COMIC STRIPS was given credit for an ad not getting printed, as we were able to
prove it was an RSI error.
    During the first Slaughter Challenge we ran into an issue of having a Bloodfeud
by a team that was in the contest, to keep the rules as close as possible to the
first contest the rule is being carried forward.  The person who was/is the victim of
the erroneous challenge/BF will not be credited with negative points; should they win
they would still score a point(s), should such an error occur again the team making
the challenge/BF will be removed from the contest going forward as we all will be
aware of this now.  BIG LAKE PURE score adjusted by one based upon the ruling made in
the first Slaughter Challenge, as the rule is carried forward to this contest, since
we had an early error on this rule already.
    Know that the moderators receive a full avoids report.  If a team is listed as
avoiding in the spy report but there are NO AVOIDS made, they will not be
disqualified.  If a warrior avoids but their team is not listed in the spy report,
they will be disqualified.

Going forward, teams WILL be disqualified from the contest and not eligible for the
endurance award as implied by the rules if they are DQ'd by making a challenge,
bloodfeud, avoid, or too many Dark Arena challenges (win or lose).

Thank you very much.
    Street Legal & Assurnasirbanipal

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     Hail and well met!  And, goodbye.  The Expense Accounts are announcing their
closure and departure from Morya.
     An extensive and surprise audit by the Feds determined that Finance Manager was
utilizing "avoids" for inappropriate Expense Account advantage and the Expense
Accounts were subsequently disqualified from The Slaughter Challenge and their
government tax exemption removed.  This effectively created the circumstances that
shut down the team.
     The following team members, along with Finance Manager, were fined and given ten
years of forced labor in their choice of oilfields of Iraq, sewage system of Tempe,
Liberian Ebola camps, or the Detroit School Systems:
Prepaid Expense 16(+2)-21(+1)-15-7(+2)-15(+2)-10(+1)-9(+1) TP 97-4-1)
Insurance 16(+1)-4-5-17-10-18-15 ST (7-11-0)
Consultation 12(+2)-18(+2)-7-9(+2)-21(+1)-11(+1)-15(+1) TP (14-2-0)
Accrued Interest 11-10-9-15-9-9-21 AB (13-10-0)
Bad Debt 12-19-17-5(+1)-17(+1)-11-5 TP (1-0-0)
They chose, instead, to take the jail time and effectively cease and desist.
     The Expense Accounts recognize that this issue is all their own fault and pray
to their gods for forgiveness from fellow Slaughter Challenge Members.  They wish you
well.  May the best team win.
     Farewell.
(A documented letter from Finance Manager to The Slaughter Challenge Commission)

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     Marin Bleu sat on the stoop as Water Rat placed the last of his bags out front
of their stable house.  She wouldn't say that they were close friends, but in the
short time that she had known him, he had made an impression on her that she wouldn't
soon forget.  It was hard for her to let go the hit to her ego, but Longshot and
Water rat were right.  She couldn't beat Klyde Spectre.  She had a long road ahead of
her before she could do that.  What she failed to realize in her anger was that
Longshot wanted her to have the experience and learn from Klyde.  HE didn't intend
for her to be mocked.
     Behind her the door to the stable house opened and out walked Jackie.  He was
still wearing those Mee Kee mouse ears that the Finance Manager brought him.  If it
wasn't for the huge pointy ears on the side of his head, you would think that they
were his real ears.  Water and Jackie had thought the ears were wonderful and had
laughed as they tried them on and posed.  Marin had thought it was barbaric.  Why
would you kill an animal just to wear its ears?  When Longshot heard of Marin's
disgust, he laughed.  Seriously!  She never expected him to be so barbaric.  But
there he was laughing.  He then explained to her that the Mee Kee mice were loved by
children.  Children?!?!?!  While he explained, Marin imagined little children, eyes
bright with glee, stalking these poor beasts and killing them for their ears.  What
kind of people lived on his home of Earth?  The whole idea sickened her so much; she
felt queasy and didn't hear most of Longshot's explanation.
     "Are you excited about the trip, Jackie?" Marin asked.  The troll turned and
smiled.
     "Ya!  Watta sez ditz a magik aye ill.  Me neva seen one a doz!"
     It was amazing how vehement Water was about Jackie going with him.  He even
swore he wouldn't set foot on the Isle if Jackie couldn't go.  Most of the
correspondence was pretty much the commission telling Water that they didn't care if
he didn't come.  There were several other people of his style that could fill in his
slot.  After a couple of exchanges, the commission finally allowed Jackie to come to
the Isle; but at a price.  Water Rat was elated and he immediately went and packed.
No one knew what kind of deal was struck.  Water wasn't telling anyone either.
     "That's it!  Now we wait." Water Rat said.  He was still beaming at the thought
of going to the Isle.  He sat on the stoop next to Marin.  As Marin looked at him,
she could see why he had the nickname, Water Rat.  The story went that on the day he
arrived at the Lord's stable house, he was soaked from head to toe from the rain.
Because of his long lanky hair and Ratani nose, he looked like a wet rat.  So, the
name stuck.  Marin also saw an odd handsomeness to him as well.  Plus she had seen
him when he was dressed nice, much like now, and he looked fantastic.  There was a
rugged look to him.  Perhaps if the young warrior was around a little longer, Marin's
crush would have developed into something more.  But that time had slipped away.
     "When does the coach arrive?" Marin asked.
     "Maybe in another fifteen minutes."
     Jackie came and sat cross-legged on the ground next to the stoop.  He then
started tracing his finger on the cobblestone walkway.  Water had tried to teach him
the alphabet.  It looked like Jackie was practicing his ABCs while they waited for
the stage coach to arrive.
     "Why didn't you just get a horse and ride there?  It would have been faster."
asked Marin.
     "That's true.  But I was afraid Jackie couldn't keep up.  Plus I would have to
ship my belongings anyway.  Plus, I would have to get someone to escort Jackie to the
Isle.  This way is  easier and cheaper."
     Marin nodded in understanding.  Some children ran by kicking a ball back and
forth.  A brawny man walked with a barrel over his head.  A good guess would that it
was empty.  Across the street was a mother bent over and wiping her son's nose with a
blue handkerchief.  The little boy protested that he couldn't breathe.
     "Listen, Marin.  I know you are going to be lonely at times.  I mean, you're
being left with a golem, a savant, and... I don't know what the Hush is..."
     It was true that the newest member of the stable that showed up two months ago
was a mystery.  Water Rat remembered him that day in Longshot's office drinking tea
the consistency of syrup.  Other than his gigantic sweet tooth, no one knew anything
about him.
     "...But don't give up.  I want to see you on the Isle one day with the rest of
us."  He then flashed his heart melting smile.  If one didn't know any better, they
would think he was flirting with Marin.  Marin smiled and quickly turned her head to
look in the other direction.  There was no need for him to see her blush.
     At that moment, the coach pulled up front of the stable house.  The coachman, a
plump brown haired man set the brake and hopped down.
     "Someone going to the Isle?" he asked.  The excitement of driving such an
important person was obvious on his face.
     "That would be me, sir."  Water said and stood up.  He made to grab his bags,
but the coachman snatched the first two up and began loading them onto the roof of
the coach.  Water Rat turned his attention back to Marin.
     "Well, this is it."  He threw out his arms for a hug.  Marin was more than happy
to oblige. The two hugged each other long and hard.  Then, slyly, Water's right hand
slid down Marin's back and squeezed her bottom.  Marin let out a little squeak of
surprise and quickly and pushed away from Water Rat.
     "I'm sorry."  He flashed the smile again, "My hand must have slipped."
     This time Marin could not help but let her red face be shown.  She tried to
reply, but could only stammer out an incoherent sentence.  She finally got her
bearing and said, "Wait.  I forgot something." and ran back into the stable house.
     Water chuckled at his small victory.  If only he had a little more time. That
little squeeze could have become something more.  But that time had passed... for
now.  Water turned to see how much the coachman had loaded when he was suddenly face
to face with Mongo Crush.  Water Rat was obviously startled and jumped back a pace.
     "Geez, Mongo!  You scared the crap out of me.  How long have you been there?"
     Mongo's only reply was to stand there with the same smile that had become his
trademark and his hands down at his sides.
     "Well, big guy.  I am out of here.  I wish you well.  Keep an eye out for Marin,
will you?"
     Mongo Crush only stood there and smiled.  Jackie was on the ground still tracing
his alphabets and humming some tune to himself.
     "I wish you could talk, Mongo.  This goodbye would be so much easier.  But I
guess it wasn't meant to be.  I would love to know what goes on in that head of
yours."
     That is when Mongo's smile melted from his face.
     "Well, I am sorry you are finding it difficult, Water.  But suffice it to say
that I think you will make a fine lord protector.  Perhaps I will see you on the Isle
one day."  Mongo's voice was a rich baritone.
     "What the fu... You... You can talk!"
     "Who can talk?"  This time it was Marin.  When Water Rat told Marin what had
happened, she could only give him a smug look.  While trying to save himself from
seeming like a fool, he turned to his pet troll.
     "Wait a minute.  You heard him.  Right, Jackie?"
     "Huh?  What?"  The troll looked up from his scribbling.
     "This is a joke.  Is this a joke?"  Water Rat asked.  He was becoming more and
more flustered.
     "I am ready when you are, sir." The coachman said from behind Water Rat.
     Water Rat spun onto the coachman.  "You heard him, didn't you?"
     "Heard what?" the coachman asked.
     Water Rat vented his frustration in a scream.
     "Sir, I hate to be pushy, but we really should get a move on."
     Water Rat nodded in agreement and got Jackie off the ground and into the coach.
Once Water was in the coach, Marin handed him a box with pink wrapping paper.  Marin
instructed him to not open it until he was well on the road.  Water Rat agreed to her
wish and the door to the coach was closed.  Marin ran around the other side with
Mongo and waved goodbye to Water Rat.  The coach began it long trip to the Isle.  The
sight was comical, to say the least.  Jackie was squeezed into the cab with his legs
pushed against his chest and Water was trying to calm him down with promises of being
allowed to stretch his legs in a little while.
     "Things will be much quieter with those two gone, Mongo."
     Mongo simply stood there with a smile on his face.  But if Marin looked a bit
closer, she would see a tear running down his cheek.

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Hello hello.  It's everyone's favourite pluviophile:  Water Rat!  So, this is
how it ends.  I honestly didn't expect an invite this fast.  Imagine the look on my
face when I saw the invite sitting on Longshot's desk.  There is so much to say and
so little time to say it.  I am thankful for the Lords.  They accepted me when one of
their beloved members was slain.  For a while there, it felt like I was trying to
take her place.  You know; the new wife trying to take the deceased wife's place.
But they made sure I was the welcomed.  I am honoured to have served for such a great
stable.
     The Hierophant, you might talk so much smack about how weak we top tier warriors
are.  I'm sorry, but Freddie Fender spanked you.  If that doesn't humble you, nothing
will.  Freddy took the title from one of my stable mates a year ago on turn 366.
Koroshiya wasn't an aimed blow to sneeze at either.  He had a 16-4-3 record at the
time.  That 16-5-3 record made him lock himself in his room for seven straight days
meditating to calm his nerves.  So, that is what Freddy is capable of doing to a man.
I am not going to mention what the other guys can do to you.
     Eye Bags, You beat me for the title several months ago.  You bet me during the
Halloween tourney.  But I beat you to the Isle.  TAKE THAT!  That's right, slow poke.
Feel the burn as you finally realize who is the fastest.  But I know you will get
your invite this turn as well as the title.  If you don't, something is rotten in
Morya.
     Okay, time to pack and get ready.  I'm off to fight bigger and better opponents.
I will miss you guys.  Enjoy your Slaughter Challenge.
     Stay thirsty, Morya,
          Water Rat

                                      SPY REPORT

     Well, what are you looking at, MORYA?  Ain't you never seen Snide Clemens 
before?  Ah, shaddup and listen to my news.  Later days, NEW MISFITS, since LUNAE 
MILITES took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news.  With any luck, I 
can sneak into Arthur's Last Stand and join SEA DOGS' celebration over their good 
record this turn.  4th place, not bad.  If Arthur's Last Stand is buying drinks for 
OF WOLF AND MAN's good turn, I'm afraid the place will be dry before long.  A 4-1-0 
makes for a big thirst.  Look out below!  MOST LEE is on the way down, falling to 
17th from 3rd with a 2-3-0!  Ha ha ha ha!  Why not, I'm having a good day, so I feel 
sorry for BIG SHOTS, who went 3-2-0 and dropped 11 into 18th.  Here's my pity, for 
what it's worth.  Oh, this is too good to be true!  BIG LAKE PURE has fallen to 19th 
place after going 2-3-0 this turn.  Who's bragging now?  Gee, I'm impressed, a 4-1-1 
is nice, but don't get cocky, MEAN PEOPLE, the Fates teach humility, and the Fates 
are proud.  Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see GORDONS win a fight and 
gain 25 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, TEQUILA beat FREDDY FENDER and FREDDY FENDER 
lost 43 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  Going for broke or broken, our Duelmaster 
LUNA KNIGHT challenged this turn.  And it's out with the old, in with the new, as 
LUNA KNIGHT takes the Title and last week's bar tab from the old Duelmaster.  Heh, 
heh.  I'm not in a very good mood today, but why am I telling you this?  You want to 
know what's new, don't you, MORYA?   
     He who fights and runs away will live to fight another day, the coward.  What's 
the big D?  EXPENSE ACCOUNT was the most avoided team?  Bunch of lily livered... 
grumble... mumble... curse...  And it looks like LORDS OF DISCIPLINE avoided them the 
most this turn.  What a pack of would be losers, if you ask me.  Hmph.  Ooh, I'm 
frightfully impressed, LUNA KNIGHT was this turn's most challenged warrior.  Watch 
that ego swell, sports fans.  And we have WICKER GREMLIN in a challenge, going down 8 
points for the fight.  Guess what?  I thought WICKER GREMLIN showed great skill and 
promise when he defeated QIX.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Death and Taxes.  The less death I see, the more it taxes my patience.  Let's 
see if anyone's dead or dying.  We're all going to die in the end, so why worry if 
the fate catches up with you sooner that later?   
     What does the MORYA arena have in common with the inns?  It's just as 
comfortable to sleep in either place.  Ha ha ha ha!  Well, I've had enough of this 
drivel, and I'm sure you have too.  Off like a dirty shirt of padded leather.  I see 
the crowds are getting restless, I must leave now-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LUNA KNIGHT 3445             16  19  0   108       LUNAE MILITES (387)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 EYE BAGS 4910                12   0  0   144       BASH BROS BODY (541)
 GORDONS 5337                 12   2  0   105       BIG SHOTS (574)
 ACE OF CUPS 5288             13  10  3    96       PANDORA'S CARDS (570)
 GALAXIAN 4188                11   5  1    94       CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
 DRUNKEN DONUT 3712           14   5  0    93       UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HUB CAPP 4168                15   9  0    90       OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CARJACK 4047                  9   3  0    86       UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
 FREDDY FENDER 3956           16  21  1    82       OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
 LUSTY LISA 5412              10  12  2    82       TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)
 SAILOR MOON 4133              8   4  0    82       LUNAE MILITES (387)
 THE HIEROPHANT 5298          11   4  0    81       PANDORA'S CARDS (570)
 TALISMAN 3667                11  11  1    79       MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
 FROGGER 3656                 13  14  0    77       CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
 RARE BREED 5350              14   8  0    71       BIG SHOTS (574)
 QUEEN OF PENTACLES 5294       7   3  0    69       PANDORA'S CARDS (570)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FLO VALVE 4243                7   8  0    66       OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
 WICKER GREMLIN 5052           7   2  0    65       LORDS OF DISCIPLINE (543)
 STICKY VICKI 5421             8  12  1    63       TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)
 KLYDE SPECTRE 4612            7   1  1    63       MEAN PEOPLE (514)
 SID SICKLE 4608               6   2  1    63       MEAN PEOPLE (514)
 MONGO CRUSH 5024             15  11  0    62       LORDS OF DISCIPLINE (543)
 BIG GUT 4911                  8   7  0    62       BASH BROS BODY (541)
-ACCRUED INTEREST 4796        13  10  0    60       EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)
 DEEDERS 5419                 10   8  1    59       TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)
 LONGSHOREMAN 5199             4   0  0    58       SEA DOGS (567)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CONSULTATION 5041            14   2  0    56       EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)
-PREPAID EXPENSE 5054          7   4  1    55       EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)
 RUNE 4083                     5   5  0    48       MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
 BAD MOON RISING 4019          9  11  1    45       LUNAE MILITES (387)
 SWINDLER STANG 4617           5   1  0    45       MEAN PEOPLE (514)
 SCALES 5374                   4   2  0    45       SERPENTS HOLD (575)
 WOODFORD 5338                10   4  1    44       BIG SHOTS (574)
 WHEELY BALDY 5166             4   1  1    41       NEW MISFITS (565)
 QIX 4245                      4   3  0    41       CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
-INSURANCE 5006                7  11  0    38       EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)
 WISE PILGRIM 5085             5   3  0    36       STAFF OF LIFE (556)
 ZAXXON 4172                   6   8  1    34       CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
 PEGGY SUE 5426                2   2  0    34       GOLDEN OLDIES (577)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLUE MOON 4373                2   0  1    33       LUNAE MILITES (387)
 MOONRAKER 4190                4   2  1    31       LUNAE MILITES (387)
 CHANTILLY LACE 5430           4   2  0    31       GOLDEN OLDIES (577)
 SWASHBUCKLER 5197             2   0  2    28       SEA DOGS (567)
 WACKY WICCAN 4314             3   1  0    27       MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
-ONE LEG LEAP 5325             1   2  0    27       RUMBLE FROGS (572)
 TRICLOPS 5164                 4   1  0    26       NEW MISFITS (565)
 SNOOPY 5095                   3   0  1    26       COMIC STRIPS (557)
 VISCIOUS HATE 5277            3   0  0    26       BIG LAKE PURE (568)
 THE HUSH 5279                 2   0  1    26       LORDS OF DISCIPLINE (543)
 LEAN MAC 5313                 3   0  1    25       MEAN PEOPLE (514)
 12 BRAVO 5334                 2   0  1    25       NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)
 FREEBOOTER 5201               3   3  0    24       SEA DOGS (567)
 PICAROON 5202                 3   0  0    24       SEA DOGS (567)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HAGAR 5092                    3   3  0    23       COMIC STRIPS (557)
 MAMBA 5373                    3   3  0    22       SERPENTS HOLD (575)
 MARIN BLEU 5134               2   4  0    22       LORDS OF DISCIPLINE (543)
 RENARD DA KOVA 5114           1   1  0    22       OF WOLF AND MAN (558)
 GARFIELD 5096                 3   3  1    21       COMIC STRIPS (557)
 VICIOUS LEE 5140              3   3  0    21       MOST LEE (561)
 CASSELLIUS 5431               2   0  0    21       TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)
 TANNER 5387                   2   5  0    21       SERPENTS HOLD (575)
 MURZIO KORST 5157             1   1  0    21       OF WOLF AND MAN (558)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE LOVERS 5290               3   1  0    20       PANDORA'S CARDS (570)
 SPRAIN 5195                   1   1  0    20       BASH BROS BODY (541)
 RECEDING HAIR LINE 5125       1   1  0    20       BASH BROS BODY (541)
 TEDDY WESTSIDE 5122           3   0  0    19       THRESHOLD (560)
 QUIET LEE 5138                4   2  0    18       MOST LEE (561)
 PASSIONNAIRE 5191             2   2  0    18       STAFF OF LIFE (556)
 INCANTATION 5057              2   0  0    18       MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
 DIAMONDBACK 5366              2   0  0    17       SERPENTS HOLD (575)
-KOKOROYAMA 5117               2   3  1    16       KARA NO TANI (559)
 DARK LOTUS 5309               2   1  0    16       JUGGALO RYDAZ (562)
 CAVOLA ZAPAYO 5112            1   1  0    16       OF WOLF AND MAN (558)
 PINK SHIRT 5336               1   0  0    16       BIG SHOTS (574)
 CALVIN 5434                   1   0  0    16       COMIC STRIPS (557)
 CHEATER METER MAID 5280       2   0  0    15       UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
 CORSAIR 5198                  1   1  0    15       SEA DOGS (567)
 KICK-MAN 5436                 1   0  0    15       CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
 FOOLISH LEE 5363              1   1  0    15       MOST LEE (561)
 MAGIC NINJA #! 5308           1   2  1    14       JUGGALO RYDAZ (562)
 SHORT SIGHTED 5276            1   3  1    13       BIG LAKE PURE (568)
 HOBBES 5106                   2   4  0    12       COMIC STRIPS (557)
 ANDARIEL 4980                 1   1  0    12       FANATIC FURY (544)
 FURIEL 5360                   1   1  0    12       FANATIC FURY (544)
-OMOTO 5116                    3   2  0    11       KARA NO TANI (559)
 REPULSO 5167                  3   2  0    11       NEW MISFITS (565)
 CRATOS RAMIRO 5110            2   0  0    11       OF WOLF AND MAN (558)
 SMOG THE HOG 5281             1   1  1    11       UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
-FROG ORSO 5322                1   0  1    11       RUMBLE FROGS (572)
-FREASHY 5323                  1   0  0    11       RUMBLE FROGS (572)
 BLOOP 5327                    2   0  0    10       JUGGALO RYDAZ (562)
 POT HOLE 5044                 1   1  0    10       UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
 AXLE FOLEY 5061               1   1  0    10       OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
 KNIGHT OF CUPS 5289           1   1  0    10       PANDORA'S CARDS (570)
 RAIDER BLAGG 5326             1   1  0    10       MEAN PEOPLE (514)
 ACNE 5147                     0   2  0    10       BASH BROS BODY (541)
 APOCALYPTOR 5163              2   3  0     9       NEW MISFITS (565)
 EVENTURAL LEE 5362            2   0  0     9       MOST LEE (561)
 BARBARA ANN 5429              1   2  0     9       GOLDEN OLDIES (577)
-V. CORNING STONE 5283         0   1  0     9       ACTION SIX NEWS (569)
 ANGRY MOMENTUM 5274           2   2  0     8       BIG LAKE PURE (568)
 WING HARPER 5194              2   2  0     8       STAFF OF LIFE (556)
-GAKUGAIMASU 5115              1   4  0     8       KARA NO TANI (559)
 BONE SAW 5331                 1   1  0     8       NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)
 CANTA THE SHARK 5111          0   2  0     8       OF WOLF AND MAN (558)
 NUTTY NECROMANCER 5328        0   2  0     8       MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
 RABID RODENT 5165             1   4  0     7       NEW MISFITS (565)
 BILLY BILL 5145               1   4  0     7       JUGGALO RYDAZ (562)
 VIOLET J 5142                 1   4  0     7       JUGGALO RYDAZ (562)
 HAGAR 5437                    1   0  0     7       TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)
-SPRING PEEPER 5324            0   1  0     7       RUMBLE FROGS (572)
 SHIMY KO-KO BOP 5427          1   1  0     6       GOLDEN OLDIES (577)
 ANGER 4978                    1   3  0     6       FANATIC FURY (544)
-EXTOADEM 5321                 1   0  0     6       RUMBLE FROGS (572)
 UNWANTED COMPANY 5357         1   1  0     6       BIG LAKE PURE (568)
 MAYBELLINE 5428               0   2  0     6       GOLDEN OLDIES (577)
 BELOW DARK 5124               1   2  0     5       THRESHOLD (560)
 NEON GOD 5121                 1   2  0     5       THRESHOLD (560)
-BAD DEBT 5320                 1   0  0     5       EXPENSE ACCOUNT (506)
 RAMONA 5123                   1   2  0     5       THRESHOLD (560)
 HATRED 5361                   1   1  0     4       FANATIC FURY (544)
-HIAME 5171                    0   3  0     3       KARA NO TANI (559)
 THE ELUCIDATOR 5311           0   3  0     3       STAFF OF LIFE (556)
 21 SPEED 5333                 0   2  0     2       NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)
-UNCLE FIRESIDE 5007           0   2  0     2       CARESS OF STEEL (549)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BRIAN FOANTANA 5287           0   1  0     1       ACTION SIX NEWS (569)
-CHAMP KIND 5285               0   1  0     1       ACTION SIX NEWS (569)
 PLZ KILL ME 2 5433            0   1  0     1       NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)
 MYONEDA 5435                  0   1  0     1       THRESHOLD (560)
-AGIEL 5359                    0   1  0     1       FANATIC FURY (544)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
BRICK TAMLAND 5284      0  1 0 ACTION SIX NEWS 569  12 BRAVO 5334         378   
RON BURGANDY 5286       0  1 0 ACTION SIX NEWS 569  FROG ORSO 5322        378   
DECEIFTUL NEED 5278     1  1 0 BIG LAKE PURE 568    WHEELY BALDY 5166     377   
RENCID BREATH 5358      0  2 0 BIG LAKE PURE 568    SWASHBUCKLER 5197     379   
TEMPEST 4274            1  1 0 CLASSIC ARCADE 415   BLUE MOON 4373        378   
SLINGER 5060            5  6 2 DODGE BULLETS 126    SID SICKLE 4608       375  NOT REVENGED
MOONGLORIOUS 5144       1  2 0 JUGGALO RYDAZ 562    SHORT SIGHTED 5276    377  REVENGED
HIOMI 5118              0  2 0 KARA NO TANI 559     KATIE KABOOM 5155     375  NONE
KATAMERU 5119           2  3 0 KARA NO TANI 559     GARFIELD 5096         378   
BIG GUY JACKIE 5080     2  3 0 LORDS OF DISCIPL 543 KLYDE SPECTRE 4612    375  REVENGED
FURIOUS LEE 5137        1  5 0 MOST LEE 561         MOONRAKER 4190        379   
ONLY D.A. 5432          0  1 0 NUCLEAR KNIGHTS 573  SLAUGHTER PRIEST      379  NONE
PLZ DIE 5330            0  1 0 NUCLEAR KNIGHTS 573  THE HUSH 5279         378   
SUPER SOLDIER 5332      0  1 0 NUCLEAR KNIGHTS 573  SMOG THE HOG 5281     378   
TOKARA 5365             1  1 0 SERPENTS HOLD 575    MAGIC NINJA #! 5308   379   
RED THE NEEDLE 5329     0  2 0 STAFF OF LIFE 556    LEAN MAC 5313         379   
BOBNOXIOUS 5413         0  3 0 TEAM KASSEL TAP 576  SNOOPY 5095           378   
WILDFIRE 5120           1  1 0 THRESHOLD 560        SWASHBUCKLER 5197     378   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Wow!  Who would have thought 8 challenges and a bloodfeud in a contest where neither
are allowed?  Not me.  I guess Kara No Tani and Lords of Discipline are not
participating in The Slaughter Challenge?  Shame.  If they are, 5 and 3 ch/bf would
kaput them anyway.  And poor Juggalo whose Billy Bill challenged!  Yikes!  Some fun
stuff for Assur and Street to sort out. -- Finance Manager

For consideration -- external teams not abiding by the contest intent/rules can
manipulate results.  (And have done so purposefully in past events.)  How will the
Slaughter Coordinators handle this, I wonder? -- Finance Manager

Champ Kind -- See; you should always pay your debts. -- Bad Debts, Expense Accounts

Rune -- Some things are magical, but that does not always mean they win, does it?
(wink) -- Accrued Interest, Expense Accounts

Deeders?  Deeders!  Shucks!  It is ALWAYS a pleasure to beat up on a Deeders.
Always. -- Prepaid Expense, Expense Accounts

Wicker Gremlin -- I give you credit for your challenge, your domination, and your
win.  Salute. I would ask, however, that your manager not challenge members of The
Slaughter Challenge contest.  Please. -- Insurance, Expense Accounts

Tanner -- Even a snake can be bored to death, I see. -- Consultation, Expense
Accounts

Health.  Humility.  Honor.  To The Slaughter Challenge.... -- Finance Manager

Freebooter -- Way to lose, loser. -- Longshoreman

Scales  --  That's how it's supposed to work. -- Queen of Pentacles

Uh, what a dummy.  Me, that is.  I, uh, apparently used some avoids on the first
round, getting my guys' fine 4-1 DQ'd for the round.  I guess I could say, I just
wanted to add to their challenge and did it intentionally, but the fact is, I just
blew it.  Perhaps I should just go back to finance?  Or perhaps I am just getting too
old for this younger man's game?  (sigh)  Well, now I am in a bad move, and if
anybody thinks they will get any money out of me now, well, X!&#^$. -- Finance
Manager, Expense Accounts (on a roll--a negative one)

Picaroon -- Knock down, drag out....  Just the way I like 'em!  Too bad you had to
lose.  Wait, I lost that fight?! -- Chantilly Lace

Foolish -- I was just getting warmed up! -- Peggy

Knight of Cups -- You hit me in my D Cups!  Ouuuch. -- Barbara

Bloop -- Booooooring. -- Maybelline

V Corning Ware -- Knock down, drag out... just the way I liken 'em!  Too bad I lost.
Wait, I won that fight?! -- Shimmy

Corsair -- Damn!  We all know dogs smell particularly bad when they're wet, but Sea
Dogs are worse than anything I've know before!!  Needless to say, I don't want to see
you or your friends ever again!  Truly, if I could avoid you, I would, believe me...
-- Rabid Rodent

Unwanted Company -- We both learned a lot!  I hope we can match up again soon. --
Cratos Ramiro

Extoadem -- I gotta learn to stab or swing or slash or do something other than stand
around! -- Cavola Zapayo

Moonraker -- Hopefully we never meet again!  That was ugly. -- Renard Da Kova

Angry Momentum -- You're quick for a biggun!  Soon my friend, very soon -- Murzio
Korst

Cassellius -- Thought maybe I was making a comeback there!  It wasn't meant to be! --
Canta the Shark

All -- One-four is not the way I wanted to start!  My boys will probably take a few
turns to get revved up, but it may be too late by then.  Didn't want to do a bunch of
ST, TP etc this time out, trying out some PRs, PLs and different guys!  Should be fun
anyway. -- Tripwire

The Hierophant -- Welcome to Morya.  Where did you transfer in from.  As we said last
turn, we always try not to lose. -- Freddy Fender

Gordons and Woodford -- Welcome to Morya.  Where did you transfer in from.  As we
said last turn, we always try not to lose -- Anne Tenna and Flo Valve

Frogger -- At least you are a Moryan native, although it looks like your recent
inactivity here has been longer than ours. -- Hub Capp

Violet J -- I don't think I'll try flailing with that weapon again for quite a while.
-- Axle Foley

Katameru -- Bad challenge. -- Garfield

Bobnoxious -- Bad match up.  Feel free to bloodfleud me. ;) -- Snoopy

All -- Good luck to all in this slaughter fest 2.  Well, unless you're fighting one
of mine. -- Spirit

Lil Denny -- Whatever are you gonna do now that you can't down challenge? -- Spirit

AA -- Good luck to you in this fine contest.  May our IC blades meet yours often. --
Spirit

Super Soldiers -- Super sorry but not so sorry that you cannot blood feud. -- Smog
the Hog

Tequila -- A bit more suger and frosting and I bet you would have won. -- Donut

Wise Pilgram -- More win and less pilgrim. -- Carjack

Raider -- And here I thought I'd put a dent in you. -- pot hole

Consultation -- Slight FE favor on your side.  Congrats nonetheless. -- Tanner

Queen of Pentacles -- Ouch. -- Scales

Vicious Lee -- You sure beat me vicious lee :) -- Mamba

Ramona -- You're a crappy skills teacher. -- Tokara

Furiel -- Interesting weapon choice, sure glad you didn't hit me many times with it!
-- Diamondback

All -- I am wearing a pink shirt because I am a Big Shot. -- Pink Shirt of Big Shots

All -- I am a Rare Breed -- Rare Breed of Big Shots

Bobnoxious -- Sorry, dude. -- Snoopy

Katamaru -- Bad challenge. -- Garfield

Nuclear Knights -- Was that turn a reenactment of the chernobyl disaster? -- Mean
People

Hobbes -- Well, your lack of ability is definetly comic strip worthy. -- Swindler
Stang

Water Rat -- Guess your manager's assumption was wrong as usual.  Made an excuse to
down challenge anyhow.  Now perhaps he will scrounge up enough integrity to let me go
about my contest. -- Klyde Spectre

Talisman -- You must be a sun charm.  You didn't do too well in the moonlight.  I
would say let's try it again, but that is all up to chance in this contest. -- Luna
Knight

Tempest -- I guess you ran out of quarters. -- Blue Moon

Renard Da Kova --Those first fight blind match ups are bad.  Then again, this whole
contest is one large blind match up. -- Moonraker

One Leg Leap -- Two warriors with three names matching up randomly.  What is are the
odds?  No really, I'm asking and I'm bad at math. -- Bad Moon Rising

Sid Sickle -- I like the alliteration of your name.  The tactic you were running, not
so much. -- Sailor Moon

     G-Staff -- The note requesting people send their personal ads in Plain Text
     was not directed at you, but to all managers.  Please, if you email your ads
     in to ads@reality.com, send them in Plain Text (no HTML or RTF formatting).
     At the top, make sure you write a header:

          Personal Ads for DM 28
          Team Spotlight for DM 28
          DM Column for DM 28

     This will help Hal know where to submit your writings.  If it's successful,
     you will receive a receipt back that tells you your items were accepted and
     to what arena's newsletter they were applied.  Thank you for your attention!
     -- GC Lackey
     P.S.  G-Staff -- Your personal ads are VERY easy to read.  Thank you!

Anger -- You've got a lot to learn about wet work, son, bones don't sharpen steel,
they dull it.  Sometimes the steel even gets stuck. -- Violet F (Violet F 5142)

So glad to be a part of Slaughter challenge.  The wicked clowns will never die. --
Billy Bill (5145)

Viscious Hate -- ::Magic Ninja bows head:: -- Magic Ninja (5208)

Lean Mac -- As the petals of the lotus fall, so shall death come for you.  Enjoy the
poison that was on my blades.  Feel death approach you.  I will see you on the sands
again. -- Dark Lotus (5309)

Maybelline -- Bloop! -- Bloop (5327)

Ah, the blood smells almost as good as the manure.  Come one, come all, and enter the
house of mirrors.  For just one copper you can see yourself in all the weird shapes
and sizes.  Here, young man, would you like to go inside? -- The Ringmaster

Freshy -- There is no gene for the frog spirit! -- Elucidator

BoneSaw -- Tight belt lost fight -- Red

Lady Agiel -- Pardon my staff's trespass upon your chest and... -- Wing

Carjack -- You... my wagon's upholstery... shreds... ribbons... dust... -- Wise

Zaxxon -- We're mirrored!  (Except you did things I didn't.) -- Passionnaire

The MeMoryal Challenge is afoot -- GStaff (your door is ajar)

     I never figured out how a door can be a jar... *confused* -- GC Dimwit

All -- You should fear the blade of a one legged frog. -- One Leg Leap

Ron Burgandy -- Your team theme is dead.  Remember it ain't easy being green. -- Frog
Orso

Contestants - I have been sent out to remind everyone, hopefully not too late, of the
"no activity" like nature of this contest.  No Challenges, no avoids, no Bloodfeuds,
and no tourneys during the contest.  We are receiving a list of the teams avoiding to
check that portion out.  Looks like we already have had 2 "oopsies."  One being a
Bloodfeud and the other being avoids, a decision was made based on the majority of
views, in fact all of the people who weighed in. -- Galaxian, Classic Arcade

Wait, what?  You mean I am way up here, with a Duelmaster that I 've already beaten
once, and I can't challenge... this sucks! -- Galaxian

Oh, wait, you mean there's more?  Ah yes I indeed forgot...  Make sure your personals
come from a warrior on your team to claim the point, might seem silly and petty, but

just like old DM was all smack talk between warriors and/or managers, Jorja almost
always had personals coming from individual warriors.  So said Slaughter Priest, when
he devised the contest, so we have done! -- Galaxian.... over and Outta' Heeeeuuuhh

Bobnoxious -- Bad match up for you.  Never cross the red baron!! -- Snoopy

     Good pizza.

Katameru -- Bad challenge on you.  Never go against a Viking when death is on the
line! -- Hagar

All -- I wish you all good luck in the fest de slaughter! -- Spirit

Gakugaimasu -- Unconventional, aren't ya? -- Quiet Lee

Mamba -- Surprise!  I read "Riposte for Dummies" just before our fight.  Well, I
skimmed it.  Okay! Okay!  I only looked at the pictures.  But it still worked... --
Vicious Lee

Teddy Westside -- Nothing like snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.  I hate
myself right now. -- Furious Lee

Peggy Sue -- 1-32?  What are you doing in Initiates?!? -- Foolish Lee

Nutty Necromancer -- Aha!  Alliteration.  Now I get it. -- Eventual Lee

31 Teams?!?  Sweet!!! -- Bruce, Mgr Most Lee (a wholly owned subsidiary of Trump
Gladiatorial Enterprises)

"I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you're not in this world
to live up to mine." -- The real Bruce Lee

     I don't know what format the following personals were sent in, but I wish you
     would change it.  It's hard to FIND the personals in there. -- Editor

Wacky Wiccan -- There will be a day. -- Neon God

Furious -- My my. -- Teddy

Tokara -- It sure hurts a bunch. -- Ramona

Spring Pepper -- Yum Yum -- Below Dark

Swashbuckler -- Ouch!  You killed me dead! -- Ghost of Wildfire

I forget that this is a killing contest.  KD up! -- Stillgard

Hee hee!  Looks like me, the ONE WHO WINS, the SULTAN OF SALT, get to poke some fun!
To paraphrase some big green thing, Look  a squirrel!  No, that's not right.  Hmmm.
Oh yeah!  PUNY GOD!  Hee hee!  -- Wacky Wiccan

As the only other member of our stable who won, and one who is a bit more
intelligable and quite repeatable, I'd like to add that it was a pleasure to repeat
myself ad nauseum while smashing Acne.  Now, all you teenage girls start repeating
me!!! -- Incantation

Ace of Cups -- Not on my watch. -- Eye Bags

Mongo Crush -- Not exactly crushed, but victory is yours. -- Big Gut

Incantation -- What was that?!?  I'm breaking out! -- Acne

Repulso -- I'm repulsed -- Sprain

21 Speed -- You don't need speed to beat me. -- Receding Hair Line

Klyde Spectre -- I bet you've had enough of me as well.  Sorry, I had to do it.
Marin was feeling bad about her losses to you.  At least I used a smaller weapon on
you. -- Water Rat

Insurance -- That was quicker than I expected. -- Wicker Gremlin

Big Gut -- ...?  ...? -- Mongo Crush

Kokoroyama -- Well, at least minutes 3-12 were mine. -- Marin Bleu

     You can do a lot with ten minutes, too!

Plz Die -- I believe you were requesting someone to kill you last turn.  I was more
than willing to oblige. -- the Hush

SMOG THE HOG -- I guess I'm not so super after all -- ghost of super soldier

Red the Needle-- Avoid me!--- Bone Saw

Receding hair line -- Wow I watched your hair disappear faster than I got the jump!
---21 Speed

Consultation -- Well fought, sir.... -- Tanner

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

ONLY D.A. was dealt death by SLAUGHTER PRIEST in a 3 minute Dark Arena fight.
WATER RAT was bested by LUNA KNIGHT in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge Title duel.
MONGO CRUSH was viciously subdued by SAILOR MOON in a 3 minute Challenge match.
WICKER GREMLIN devastated QIX in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
MARIN BLEU defeated QUIET LEE in a 6 minute Challenge match.
THE HUSH devastated REPULSO in a 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
DRUNKEN DONUT was savagely defeated by EYE BAGS in a 4 minute veteran's struggle.
THE HIEROPHANT was overpowered by GORDONS in a action packed 5 minute uneven melee.
FREDDY FENDER was vanquished by TEQUILA in a action packed 1 minute uneven fight.
ANNE TENNA overpowered GALAXIAN in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fight.
LUSTY LISA was luckily beaten by HUB CAPP in a 2 minute veteran's fight.
ACE OF CUPS luckily beat TALISMAN in a crowd pleasing 4 minute master's competition.
FLO VALVE was subdued by FROGGER in a 1 minute veteran's brawl.
RARE BREED was viciously subdued by CARJACK in a 3 minute veteran's conflict.
DEEDERS was bested by SID SICKLE in a action packed 3 minute brutal duel.
QUEEN OF PENTACLES devastated WISE PILGRIM in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
LONGSHOREMAN overpowered TRICLOPS in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
RUNE was overpowered by KLYDE SPECTRE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
BAD MOON RISING overpowered THE LOVERS in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.
WOODFORD was bested by BIG GUT in a 1 minute bout.
SWINDLER STANG overpowered VICIOUS LEE in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
PEGGY SUE was savagely defeated by SCALES in a 3 minute gruesome fray.
STICKY VICKI handily defeated CAPTURED ORC in a 2 minute brutal one-sided contest.
GARFIELD was defeated by CHANTILLY LACE in a 4 minute fight.
WHEELY BALDY vanquished MAMBA in a 1 minute one-sided match.
TANNER was vanquished by BLUE MOON in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
ZAXXON demolished SHORT SIGHTED in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
HOBBES lost to DIAMONDBACK in a popular 6 minute fray.
SNOOPY slimly won victory over ACNE in a exciting 4 minute master vs. beginner bout.
HAGAR luckily beat CORSAIR in a action packed 5 minute gory duel.
RECEDING HAIR LINE was outlasted by CHEATER METER MAID in a slow 22 minute match.
FURIOUS LEE was assassinated by MOONRAKER in a 1 minute gory one-sided bout.
WACKY WICCAN handily defeated BONE SAW in a 1 minute mismatched match.
VISCIOUS HATE vanquished VIOLET J in a 2 minute brutal mismatched fight.
MURZIO KORST demolished BELOW DARK in a 1 minute gruesome one-sided struggle.
PICAROON defeated RAIDER BLAGG in a 6 minute match.
FREEBOOTER subdued MAYBELLINE in a 1 minute conflict.
SWASHBUCKLER murdered RENCID BREATH in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
SPRAIN overpowered BILLY BILL in a 2 minute bloody one-sided duel.
WING HARPER was demolished by RENARD DA KOVA in a 1 minute uneven competition.
PASSIONNAIRE overpowered ANGER in a action packed 4 minute gruesome one-sided fight.
RABID RODENT slimly lost to CRATOS RAMIRO in a 5 minute gruesome amateur's match.
ANGRY MOMENTUM was handily defeated by 12 BRAVO in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
APOCALYPTOR was overpowered by CASSELLIUS in a 1 minute uneven competition.
SMOG THE HOG was handily defeated by CALVIN in a 1 minute one-sided match.
KNIGHT OF CUPS was overpowered by PINK SHIRT in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
RAMONA lost to POT HOLE in a 2 minute novice's bout.
TEDDY WESTSIDE viciously subdued CANTA THE SHARK in a 3 minute amateur's bout.
MAGIC NINJA #! killed TOKARA in a exciting 1 minute novice's conflict.
DARK LOTUS demolished THE ELUCIDATOR in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
LEAN MAC easily killed RED THE NEEDLE in a 2 minute mismatched contest.
BLOOP savagely defeated BARBARA ANN in a monotonous 9 minute bloody novice's struggle.
NUTTY NECROMANCER was overpowered by FOOLISH LEE in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
21 SPEED was demolished by CAVOLA ZAPAYO in a 1 minute mismatched contest.
NEON GOD was overpowered by INCANTATION in a 1 minute uneven bout.
UNWANTED COMPANY bested MYONEDA in a 2 minute novice's fight.
FURIEL bested AXLE FOLEY in a 3 minute amateur's conflict.
HATRED was overpowered by KICK-MAN in a 1 minute one-sided match.
EVENTURAL LEE won victory over PLZ KILL ME 2 in a 2 minute amateur's match.
ANDARIEL subdued SHIMY KO-KO BOP in a 3 minute bloody novice's conflict.
HAGAR defeated PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a monotonous 5 minute amateur's bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  20         PARRY-STRIKE      19 -  13 -  1      59  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     19         LUNGING ATTACK    37 -  33 -  3      53  |
|AIMED BLOW                      18         TOTAL PARRY       45 -  43 -  2      51  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 16         PARRY-RIPOSTE     14 -  14 -  0      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 11         PARRY-LUNGE       16 -  17 -  0      48  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   10         SLASHING ATTACK   31 -  35 -  5      47  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     7         AIMED BLOW        38 -  43 -  1      47  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   7         WALL OF STEEL     20 -  23 -  4      47  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      6         STRIKING ATTACK   36 -  44 -  6      45  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    5         BASHING ATTACK    19 -  45 -  1      30  |

Turn 379 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       6 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  6         4  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      4 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        8 - 11         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      6 -  4     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  7         2  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    9 -  7                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         9 -  9                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  3                                       1  PARRY-STRIKE   
LUNGING ATTACK    10 - 10     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  EYE BAGS 4910              12   0  0  144 BASH BROS BODY (541)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      GORDONS 5337               12   2  0  105 BIG SHOTS (574)
AIMED BLOW       GALAXIAN 4188              11   5  1   94 CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
SLASHING ATTACK  CARJACK 4047                9   3  0   86 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WICKER GREMLIN 5052         7   2  0   65 LORDS OF DISCIPLINE (543)
LUNGING ATTACK   KLYDE SPECTRE 4612          7   1  1   63 MEAN PEOPLE (514)
PARRY-STRIKE     SID SICKLE 4608             6   2  1   63 MEAN PEOPLE (514)
WALL OF STEEL    WOODFORD 5338              10   4  1   44 BIG SHOTS (574)
PARRY-LUNGE      QIX 4245                    4   3  0   41 CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is DEEDERS 5419.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was EYE BAGS 4910.  The ten other most popular fighters were CARJACK 4047, HOBBES 
5106, GORDONS 5337, TALISMAN 3667, ACNE 5147, CORSAIR 5198, PASSIONNAIRE 5191, SAILOR 
MOON 4133, DEEDERS 5419, and TEDDY WESTSIDE 5122.

The least popular fighter this week was CHEATER METER MAID 5280.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were RECEDING HAIR LINE 5125, BARBARA ANN 5429, HAGAR 5437, RAIDER 
BLAGG 5326, BLOOP 5327, HATRED 5361, NEON GOD 5121, 21 SPEED 5333, NUTTY NECROMANCER 
5328, and THE ELUCIDATOR 5311.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

ANNE TENNA (28-4053) OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
WATER RAT (28-5045) LORDS OF DISCIPLINE (543)
TEQUILA (28-5341) BIG SHOTS (574)

                            A DM TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

          12 political points a'pumpin'
          11 TVs a'workin'
          10 free duels of credit
           9 ABs to challenge
           8 criticals a'connectin'
           7 scums a'dyin'
           6 skills a'maxin'
           5 A.D. invites
           4 lucky warriors
           3 size on replacement
           2 proxied TCs
          And a quarterstaff from a pear tree.

                                   May your days be merry,
                                   And your wins be often.

                                             The Consortium

                  MAIL-IN TOURNEY LVIII

PRIMUS TOURNEY                         W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
GRIM REAVER 1356 (247-136-6)           4  3  0         THE BEARS            

CONTENDERS TOURNEY                     W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
MRS. BUTTERWORTH 1226 (96-99-5)        1  4  0         SUAVE ONCE LOVED ME  

FRESHMEN TOURNEY                       W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
COLGATE SMILE 4812 (35-22-0)           3  3  0         MY GENERATION        
KOROSHIYA ICHI 4976 (19-6-3)           1  3  0         LORDS OF DISCIPLINE  

CHALLENGERS TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
DRUNKEN DONUT 3712 (13-4-0)            0  2  0         UGLY URBAN ORCS      

CHAMPIONS TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
EYE BAGS 4910 (10-0-0)                 4  3  0         BASH BROS BODY       
CARJACK 4047 (7-3-0)                   3  3  0         UGLY URBAN ORCS      
WATER RAT 5045 (14-5-0)                2  3  0         LORDS OF DISCIPLINE  
ACCRUED INTEREST 4796 (12-10-0)        1  3  0         EXPENSE ACCOUNT      

ADEPTS TOURNEY                         W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
RARE BREED 5350 (14-6-0)               9  3  0         BIG SHOTS            
CONSULTATION 5041 (13-2-0)             5  3  0         EXPENSE ACCOUNT      
BIG GUT 4911 (7-6-0)                   4  3  0         BASH BROS BODY       
FLO VALVE 4243 (6-7-0)                 3  3  0         OTTO'S MECHANICS     
INSURANCE 5006 (7-10-0)                3  3  0         EXPENSE ACCOUNT      
WICKER GREMLIN 5052 (5-2-0)            3  3  0         LORDS OF DISCIPLINE  
GALAXIAN 4188 (10-4-1)                 2  3  1         CLASSIC ARCADE       

INITIATES TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
SHOW OF HANDS 5011 (3-2-0)             4  1  0  DEAD   CARESS OF STEEL      
LONGSHOREMAN 5199 (2-0-0)              2  3  1         SEA DOGS             
SID SICKLE 4608 (5-1-1)                2  3  0         MEAN PEOPLE          
RECEDING HAIR LINE 5125 (0-0-0)        1  3  0         BASH BROS BODY       
KLYDE SPECTRE 4612 (6-0-1)             0  2  0         MEAN PEOPLE          
PREPAID EXPENSE 5054 (6-4-1)           0  2  0         EXPENSE ACCOUNT      
SNOOPY 5095 (1-0-0)                    0  2  0         COMIC STRIPS         

APPRENTICES TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
FREEBOOTER 5201 (2-2-0)                5  3  0         SEA DOGS             
VICIOUS LEE 5140 (2-2-0)               3  3  0         MOST LEE             
FURIOUS LEE 5137 (1-3-0)               2  3  0         MOST LEE             
GARFIELD 5096 (2-2-0)                  2  3  0         COMIC STRIPS         
HAGAR 5092 (2-2-0)                     2  3  0         COMIC STRIPS         
SWINDLER STANG 4617 (3-1-0)            2  3  0         MEAN PEOPLE          
THE LOVERS 5290 (2-0-0)                2  3  0         PANDORA'S CARDS      
QUIET LEE 5138 (3-1-0)                 1  3  0         MOST LEE             
HOBBES 5106 (2-2-0)                    0  2  0         COMIC STRIPS         
LEAN MAC 5313 (1-0-0)                  0  2  0         MEAN PEOPLE          
MARIN BLEU 5134 (1-3-0)                0  2  0         LORDS OF DISCIPLINE  
SHORT SIGHTED 5276 (1-1-1)             0  2  0         BIG LAKE PURE        
TRICLOPS 5164 (3-0-0)                  0  2  0         NEW MISFITS          
VISCIOUS HATE 5277 (1-0-0)             0  2  0         BIG LAKE PURE        
WHEELY BALDY 5166 (2-1-1)              0  2  0         NEW MISFITS          

ROOKIES TOURNEY                        W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
SWASHBUCKLER 5197 (0-0-0)              8  3  1         SEA DOGS             
CORSAIR 5198 (0-0-0)                   4  3  0         SEA DOGS             
MURZIO KORST 5157 (0-0-0)              4  3  0         OF WOLF AND MAN      
SUPER SOLDIER 5332 (0-0-0)             4  3  0         NUCLEAR KNIGHTS      
V. CORNING STONE 5283 (0-0-0)          4  3  0         ACTION SIX NEWS      
12 BRAVO 5334 (0-0-0)                  3  3  1         NUCLEAR KNIGHTS      
CAVOLA ZAPAYO 5112 (0-0-0)             3  3  0         OF WOLF AND MAN      
COCKROACH 5316 (0-0-0)                 3  3  0         GAMECOCKS            
RAIDER BLAGG 5326 (0-0-0)              3  3  0         MEAN PEOPLE          
RENARD DA KOVA 5114 (0-0-0)            3  3  0         OF WOLF AND MAN      
BEETLE BAILEY 5093 (0-0-0)             1  1  1  DEAD   COMIC STRIPS         
ACNE 5147 (0-0-0)                      2  3  0         BASH BROS BODY       
AXLE FOLEY 5061 (0-0-0)                2  3  0         OTTO'S MECHANICS     
CANTA THE SHARK 5111 (0-0-0)           2  3  0         OF WOLF AND MAN      
JOHN HANCOCK 5318 (0-0-0)              2  3  1         GAMECOCKS            
KNIGHT OF CUPS 5289 (0-0-0)            2  3  0         PANDORA'S CARDS      
NUTTY NECROMANCER 5328 (0-0-0)         2  3  0         MAGICAL MADNESS      
SMOG THE HOG 5281 (0-0-0)              2  3  0         UGLY URBAN ORCS      
BONE SAW 5331 (0-0-0)                  1  3  0         NUCLEAR KNIGHTS      
BRICK TAMLAND 5284 (0-0-0)             1  3  0         ACTION SIX NEWS      
CONCOCKTION 5315 (0-0-0)               1  3  0         GAMECOCKS            
SPRAIN 5195 (0-0-0)                    1  3  0         BASH BROS BODY       
BAD DEBT 5320 (0-0-0)                  0  2  0         EXPENSE ACCOUNT      
CHEATER METER MAID 5280 (0-0-0)        0  2  0         UGLY URBAN ORCS      
CRATOS RAMIRO 5110 (0-0-0)             0  2  0         OF WOLF AND MAN      
HERBIE HANCOCK 5317 (0-0-0)            0  2  0         GAMECOCKS            
POT HOLE 5044 (0-0-0)                  0  2  0         UGLY URBAN ORCS      
THE HUSH 5279 (0-0-0)                  0  2  0         LORDS OF DISCIPLINE  
WILD BILL HICKOK 5319 (0-0-0)          0  2  0         GAMECOCKS            

DEAD CHALLENGERS TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
RAY D AYTOR 1789 (6-4-1)               4  3  0         OTTO'S MECHANICS     
TSUNAMI 1512 (4-1-0)                   2  3  0         THE NINJA            

DEAD CHAMPIONS TOURNEY                 W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
REAGENT 3669 (6-3-0)                   4  3  0         MAGICAL MADNESS      
STUPENDOUS MAN 5105 (6-3-0)            1  1  0  DEAD   COMIC STRIPS         

DEAD ADEPTS TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
TEN OF SWORDS 5303 (4-4-0)             5  3  0         PANDORA'S CARDS      
STINK BREATH 5015 (5-3-2)              1  3  0         LORDS OF DISCIPLINE  
THE DOMINATRIX 4947 (4-5-0)            0  2  0         LORDS OF DISCIPLINE  
THE MAN 4949 (6-5-0)                   0  2  0         LORDS OF DISCIPLINE  

DEAD INITIATES TOURNEY                 W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
GREY SNOW 3981 (0-1-0)                 2  1  0  DEAD   UGLY URBAN ORCS      
WHISTLE PIG 5348 (0-0-0)               1  1  0  DEAD   BIG SHOTS            
YELLOW TEETH 4914 (4-2-0)              1  3  0         BASH BROS BODY       
WILD TURKEY 5335 (1-0-0)               0  2  0         BIG SHOTS            

DEAD APPRENTICES TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
MJ GAME 6 5346 (2-0-1)                 0  2  0         BIG SHOTS            
MOONGLORIOUS 5144 (1-2-0)              0  2  0         JUGGALO RYDAZ        

                             * * * * *   MEMO  * * * * *

From:       The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission
To:         All Managers

In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's 
cramp, the census form has been eliminated, effective immediately.  Managers may 
register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by simply writing them on a 
separate piece of paper and submitting them to the Commission.  Each warrior may have 
up to 15 favorite sayings.  Each saying must be categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch, 
Victory and may be up to 80 characters long.  For any questions, please contact the 
Gladiatorial Commission.