DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER
Date : 05/22/2015 Duedate: 06/18/2015
MORYA ARENA
DM-28 TURN-385
This Weeks Top Honors
THE DUELMASTER IS
CARJACK
UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
(28-4047) [13-5-1,128]
Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader
CARJACK 12 BRAVO
UGLY URBAN ORCS (425) NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)
(28-4047) [13-5-1,128] (28-5334) [5-2-1,54]
Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite
DEEDERS BAD MOON RISING
TEAM KASSEL TAP (576) LUNAE MILITES (387)
(28-5419) [15-9-1,115] (28-4019) [13-13-1,79]
THE CURRENT TOP TEAM
SEA DOGS (567)
TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. MAGICAL MADNESS (417) 82
2. LUNAE MILITES (387) 47 BIG SHOTS (574)
3. BLATZ COALITION (579) 42 Unchartered Team
4. OF WOLF AND MAN (558) 38
5. UGLY URBAN ORCS (425) 37 OF WOLF AND MAN (558)
The Top Teams
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1/ 1 BIG SHOTS (574) 98 56 4 63.6 1/ 2 SEA DOGS (567) 10 5 2
2- 2 MY GENERATION (533) 65 40 4 61.9 2/ 4 MAGICAL MADNESS (417) 10 5 1
3/ 3 BASH BROS BODY (541) 46 32 0 59.0 3/ 1 BASH BROS BODY (541) 10 5 0
4/ 4 PANDORA'S CARDS (570) 72 57 3 55.8 4/ 5 COMIC STRIPS (557) 10 5 0
5/ 6 GOLDEN OLDIES (577) 25 21 1 54.3 5/12 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425) 9 6 0
6/ 8 SEA DOGS (567) 169 152 14 52.6 6/11*NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573) 9 6 0
7/14 MAGICAL MADNESS (417) 69 63 2 52.3 7/ 3 LUNAE MILITES (387) 8 7 1
8/ 7 OTTO'S MECHANICS (226) 247 226 11 52.2 8/ 8 BIG LAKE PURE (568) 8 7 1
9/11 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425) 63 58 3 52.1 9/19 SERPENTS HOLD (575) 8 7 0
10/10 LORDS OF DISCIPLIN (543) 274 259 17 51.4 10/17 GOLDEN OLDIES (577) 8 7 0
11/13 LUNAE MILITES (387) 96 91 8 51.3 11/14 OTTO'S MECHANICS (226) 7 8 0
12-12 MEAN PEOPLE (514) 30 29 3 50.8 12/10 NEW MISFITS (565) 7 8 0
13/ 9 NEW MISFITS (565) 27 28 1 49.1 13/ 6 BIG SHOTS (574) 7 8 0
14/16*OF WOLF AND MAN (558) 20 21 0 48.8 14/13 TEAM KASSEL TAP (576) 7 8 0
15/24*BEAR LAKE BULLIES (578) 12 13 1 48.0 15/25*BEAR LAKE BULLIES (578) 6 9 1
16/15 CLASSIC ARCADE (415) 77 87 7 47.0 16/16*THRESHOLD (560) 6 9 1
17/19 COMIC STRIPS (557) 33 38 2 46.5 17/26*BLATZ COALITION (579) 6 9 0
18-18 MOST LEE (561) 24 28 0 46.2 18/18*OF WOLF AND MAN (558) 6 9 0
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
19/22 GOAT'S HAI-5 (580) 19 24 1 44.2 19/ 9 STAFF OF LIFE (556) 6 9 0
20/20 TEAM KASSEL TAP (576) 58 74 5 43.9 20/20 BIZARRO SQUAD (537) 5 5 1
21/17*NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573) 15 20 2 42.9 21/ 7 CLASSIC ARCADE (415) 5 10 1
22/21 STAFF OF LIFE (556) 29 41 2 41.4 22/15 PANDORA'S CARDS (570) 5 10 0
23/23 BIG LAKE PURE (568) 20 29 4 40.8 23/23 JUGGALO RYDAZ (562) 4 6 0
24/30*BLATZ COALITION (579) 8 12 0 40.0 24/21 GOAT'S HAI-5 (580) 3 1 0
25/25*THRESHOLD (560) 17 28 1 37.8 25-22 MOST LEE (561) 2 3 0
26/27 JUGGALO RYDAZ (562) 17 33 1 34.0 26/30 LORDS OF DISCIPLIN (543) 1 1 0
27/29 SERPENTS HOLD (575) 38 76 1 33.3 27-28 MY GENERATION (533) 1 1 0
28/28 BIZARRO SQUAD (537) 18 36 4 33.3 28-24 MEAN PEOPLE (514) 0 5 0
'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank
TEAM SPOTLIGHT
"Oh no! Here come Peggy Sue!" exclaimed Marin. She was out shopping for supplies
for the Lord's stable house with her team mate, Wicker Gremlin and their manager.
Longshot's normal base of operations these days was Arkers. But he was spending time
in the free city of Morya. His reasons were all business. He was here to watch over
the Lords, and Lady, of Discipline until they were active again. He still made them
follow their training routines and other parts of gladiatorial life continue in
earnest. And he was making sure they stayed that way until the honouring of the
other's friend was over. He had thought to accept the invite of the other managers to
stay. But he felt bad taking advantage of them.
"Seriously, what is she doing?" Marin couldn't pull herself away from the sight.
Peggy Sue seemed to be stalking someone or something. She'd run a few feet and
then suddenly duck behind a stall. Then she would slowly peek out her head. If she was
trying to be stealthy, she was doing a terrible job of it.
Longshot, who was lighting a cigar, blew out a sweet smelling cloud of smoke and
walked over to Marin. Wicker was distracted from the whole scene by a stall with hand
carved wooden dolls.
"Don't say anything to her, Marin. I mean it."
The elf could feel nothing but anger for her manager after he let the Hush's
death go unavenged. "Why are you letting those mental rejects run around disrespecting
the Hush and most importantly, you?"
Longshot took another puff from his cigar. He made a mental note to thank Min for
'acquiring' them for him during one of his voyages. They were truly a fine smoke.
Unfortunately, he was only able to get one box of the thick triangle tipped sticks.
"As I told you the last three times and three times before that; my last post was
censored. It took all of the powers of my words and reduced it to rambling. I don't
want to deal with that again."
Marin was about to reply with her usual idea.
"Yes, I know." Longshot interrupted. "Post it elsewhere. But if I did that, it
wouldn't be the same. All that would have done was give."
He takes another puff.
"Someone told me that it was Vladb&a chance to play it off. You see, he and his
lot are a bit-"
"Ash sash shun!!!" Peggy Sue screamed as she leapt from behind her obvious
hiding place with her broadsword drawn. Everyone, including Wicker who seemed to be
conversing with the carved dolls, looked to see what the commotion was about.
Peggy Sue had run up to a stall and began hacking at a display. The display was
made from an old shirt and a pair of pants stuffed with straw and made to look like a
man. The head of the 'man' was a pumpkin with a smiling faced painted on it. The
display also had a straw hat pinned to its pumpkin head. In its lap rested a sign that
read 'Farm Fresh Produce'. The display didn't stand a chance.
"You idiot!" the owner of the display called out. He had both of his hands
clenched in his hair and was pulling n frustration. He had every right to be angry
about the destruction of his display. He had put a lot of work into it and the
customers seemed to love it.
"Idiot??!?!" Peggy Sue cried in indignation. "Me no idiot. Me saved you from ash
sash shun. Gimme muh-knees now." She rested her broad sword against her body and held
out one of her grubby hands. It looked like she hadn't washed in days and the dirt
under her finger nails were black, thick, and crusty. The farmer waved her away and
began cleaning up bits of smashed pumpkin, tattered clothes, and straw.
"Fine!" Peggy Sue said once she saw no reward coming her way. "Boss'll gimme muh-
knees. See?"
Peggy Sue fishes into a dirty pouch and brings out a wooden disk. Carved on the
disk was a crude number one and under that the word 'muh-knee'.
"First he gimme double muh-knees. Now he'll gimme-" She seemed to be tallying up
her bounty. Her jaw suddenly went limp and a long thick strand of drool flowed from
the corner of her mouth. Peggy Sue finally snapped out of it. "-many muh-knees!"
Peggy Sue turned indignantly on the heels of her feet and walked away amidst
laughter from the crowd. That was when she suddenly stopped and looked at a puddle of
water. At first she looked confused. It was the same look she had when she tried to
figure out which shoe went on which foot; or in the previous situation, when she did
simple math. Then realization dawned on her face.
"Ashsashshun!!!" she cried and began to swing her broad sword into the puddle of
water and, unbeknownst to her, horse urine. The puddle of mixed fluids splashed on her
clothes, on her face, and in her hair. He tongue greedily snaked out and lapped the
thick droplets that fell on her lips and slipped back in mouth like a fat pink slug.
The sounds of laughter turned into groans of disgust.
"As I was about to say; Vlad and his lot are a bit delusional. Think about it. He
took a simple statement in the personals that most saw as a compliment or a show of
good sportsmanship, and twisted it into an insult. Most people would see the mistake
and either admit they were wrong or shut up and let it die. He reminds me of
something."
He took another puff of his cigar.
"Back when I lived on earth, there was a group of us that played this card game.
Two of the players were husband and wife. Anyway, the wife was on a roll. She won
something like three or four hands in row. The husband joked bYou're a cheater'. We
all laughed. It was a common joke amongst our group and it usually ended in laughter
and continued play. But on that night she exploded in anger. She threw the cards on
the table and stormed off. We found out later she was cheating, but not in cards. She
was cheating on him."
Longshot took a big puff from the cigar.
"Vlad thinks that I was calling Peggy Sue a tourney warrior with no proof but his
delusional mind. She had a friggin' 2-2-0 record when they fought. If she was a
tourney warrior, she is the worse that I've seen."
Marin nodded in agreement. "I think you're right. You heard about the
'ashsashshun' that he and Peggy Sue attacked a few weeks ago? The truth is the guy was
a married man with five kids. He took the job of waiting tables to earn extra money.
He looked out of place because it was his first day. The 'cloak' he threw back was a
tea towel and the 'dagger' was a butter knife. He was taking it to another table
because they wanted to butter their bread."
It was Longshot's turn to nod. "As I said; he's delusional."
"He sounds more like an idiot." Marin added.
"How about a delusional idiot?" Wicker said with a smile. "Score one for the
golem." Longshot said while giving a thumbs up. "If you need to know how much more off
his rocker he is; he keeps calling the Hush a godling. I jokingly asked Zinc, and in
a way Z Man, why couldn't I have a godling like they do. To be truthful, I don't know
if I have ever had a godling. And if I did, I sure as hell wouldn't tell anyone."
There was another crash and Peggy Sue was picking herself up off the ground. Her
latest 'ashsashshun' was a stall selling pottery. A woman was pointing at the shatter
bits of pottery on the ground and screaming at Peggy Sue for crashing into her stall
and smashing her wares. While this was happening, Peggy Sue was brushing off her
clothes. Shards of the destroyed pottery fell from her body and onto the street.
"Do you see?" Longshot asked as he pointed at Peggy Sue's latest disaster.
* * * * *
"One of the Z Man's warriors killed Wail the same month I lost Hush. He didn't
gloat and continue to talk about it every time he posted. Two turns later I was able
to Blood feud and kill Wail's killer. That was a big deal for me because he is such a
good manager. You'd think I would have bragged every five seconds. But I didn't"
"Maybe that is it." Wicker interrupted. "Maybe he is carrying on so much because
it is a big deal. Maybe he sees you the way you see the Z-Man."
Longshot smiled at the golem. He liked what he heard, but he knew the truth.
"Thanks, but no." Longshot said. He bent and rolled the ash cigar onto the
ground. He stood upright and took two quick puffs of the cigar to get het ends fiery
red.
"Vlad is a loud mouth. A braggart. A bully. He is that crazy kid who pulls the
wings of flies. He is the retarded kid at your school who wants to be accepted. So he
lets the regular kid sucker him into saying and doing stupid stuff for their approval.
As a matter of fact.."
Longshot stepped forward. Behind them Peggy Sue is chasing a butterfly with her
broad sword. The whole time she is swatting at it and screaming bashsashshun' at the
top of her lungs.
"Vlad, you say I am invalid, yet you keep talking about me. You say I am a loser,
but you forget I have beaten Chantilly Lace, and in a way you, in the Halloween
tourney. I just don't keep talking about it. If you have anything else to say, save
it. You just keep proving how lucky you were and no one wants to hear you anymore.
Look up the Chosen in DM-8. If you don't, then you are everything I have said about
you."
Marin looked over at Wicker. "Who is he talking to?"
"I have no idea", Wicker replied.
Suddenly, there was the sound of a horse whinnying. "Get away from my horse you
lunatic!"
"That's no horse. That's an ashsashshun!"
"Quick. Grab the boss and let's get out of here before that idiot actually hits
one of us."
As the trio left the market with haste, the man who had run away earlier led some
of the town militia towards the whinnying horse and Peggy Sue.
***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***
Slaughter Contest
Turn 7 Report
Turn Turn Total Total
Score Team Record Score Fights DA's
22 LUNAE MILITES (387) 1-4-0-0, Y -2 35/35 0
21 SEA DOGS (567) 2-3-0-0, Y 0 35/35 0
20 BASH BROS BODY (541) 5-0-0-0, Y 6 35/35 0
14 CLASSIC ARCADE (415) 1-4-0-0, Y -2 35/35 0
9 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425) 2-3-0-0, Y 0 35/35 0
9 BIG SHOTS (574) 3-2-0-0, Y 2 34/35 0
8 MAGICAL MADNESS (417) 1-4-0-0, Y -2 35/35 0
7 COMIC STRIPS (557) 3-2-0-0, Y 2 34/35 1
6 TEAM KASSEL TAP (576) 3-2-0-0, Y 2 35/35 0
6 OTTO'S MECHANICS (226) 2-3-0-0, Y 0 35/35 0
6 OF WOLF AND MAN (558) 1-4-0-0, Y -2 35/35 0
6 NEW MISFITS (565) 3-2-0-0, Y 2 35/35 0
5 MOST LEE (561) 0-0-0-0, N 0 30/35 0
4 STAFF OF LIFE (556) 4-1-0-0, Y 4 35/35 1
4 SERPENTS HOLD (575) 4-1-0-0, Y 4 35/35 1
2 GOLDEN OLDIES (577) 2-3-0-1, Y -1 35/35 1
0 FANATIC FURY (544) 0-0-0-0, N 0 17/35 0
0 PANDORA'S CARDS (570) 3-2-0-0, N 1 35/35 1
-1 MEAN PEOPLE (514) 0-0-0-0, N 0 30/35 0
-2 NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573) 4-1-0-0, N 3 30/35 1
-3 JUGGALO RYDAZ (562) 0-0-0-0, N 0 30/35 0
-5 BIG LAKE PURE (568) 2-3-0-0, N -1 35/35 0
-10 THRESHOLD (560) 2-3-0-0, Y 0 35/35 1
Moderators:
Street Legal & Assurnasirbanipal
DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
Notes from the arena champ.
Now that I've managed to car jack this fine throne I'm just going to drive off into
the sunset. Here I come to the Isle. Who will be my random match up? Only time will
tell.
-- CarJack
SPY REPORT
Well, what are you looking at, MORYA? Ain't you never seen Snide Clemens
before? Ah, shaddup and listen to my news. Later days, BASH BROS BODY, since SEA
DOGS took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news. Why not, I'm having a
good day, so I feel sorry for CLASSIC ARCADE, who went 1-4-0 and dropped 14 into
21st. Here's my pity, for what it's worth. Now let's all watch BLATZ COALITION's
heads swell from their 4-1-0 this turn. Haa ha ha ha! Big shots, big talk, big
deal. Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see GALAXIAN win a fight and gain
26 points, terribly. Tsk, tsk, GALAXIAN beat THE HIEROPHANT and THE HIEROPHANT lost
18 points. You're breakin' my heart. And if variety is the spice of life, MORYA may
be getting bland, as CARJACK stays top dog in the city. Kickbacks and bribes,
kickbacks and bribes, how else do you think some of these guys win their fights?
Skill? Ha!
Well, let's take a look at some more misdeeds of you miserable sword-boys. Ooh,
I'm frightfully impressed, SPELLWEAVER was this turn's most challenged warrior.
Watch that ego swell, sports fans. Now look at this. HUNZYKER challenged down 21
against PANDORA'S CARDS' THE WORLD. What a weasel! Question now is, will MORYA
accept this sort of tacky behavior? HUNZYKER beating THE WORLD. The insult,
the....yech! And we have THE RED ROCKER in a challenge, going down 12 points for the
fight. Guess what? I thought THE RED ROCKER showed great skill and promise when he
was overcame by SPELLWEAVER. All right, so I slept through it! Big deal!
Some people like volunteer work in the hospitals. I volunteer for MORYA's
morgue. More variety. Nipped in the bud, you might say, was CASSELLIUS of TEAM
KASSEL TAP this turn. Course, I wouldn't say that, so much as have a belly laugh.
Heh heh. And what a stunning loss we have here, boys and girls, SCALES of SERPENTS
HOLD has added the final loss to his 7-4-0. Tee hee! Seriously now, is it really
honorable for SAILOR MOON from LUNAE MILITES to kill CASSELLIUS and give TEAM KASSEL
TAP the chance to bloodfeud? Mmmm, could be. Not that I'll be buying the drinks,
but I'll be glad to see CHANTILLY LACE and GOLDEN OLDIES at Salty's Chowder House
tonight celebrating their bloodfeud victory over TODD MAYES. We're all going to die
in the end, so why worry if the fate catches up with you sooner that later?
I was about to buy a new quill pen the other day, but some fighter took it for
an epee. Forgive me for writing with a dagger. Just wait 'till next time I show up
here, I won't be so nice! So nyaaah! Glad to see the back of this place-- Snide
Clemens
DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
CARJACK 4047 13 5 1 128 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
DEEDERS 5419 15 9 1 115 TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)
LUSTY LISA 5412 14 14 2 108 TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)
DRUNKEN DONUT 3712 18 7 0 106 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
GALAXIAN 4188 14 8 1 105 CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
SAILOR MOON 4133 12 6 1 102 LUNAE MILITES (387)
HUB CAPP 4168 18 12 0 100 OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
BIG GUT 4911 12 9 0 100 BASH BROS BODY (541)
LONGSHOREMAN 5199 8 2 1 99 SEA DOGS (567)
RARE BREED 5350 18 10 0 92 BIG SHOTS (574)
QUEEN OF PENTACLES 5294 11 5 0 92 PANDORA'S CARDS (570)
CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-FUNKY CHICKEN 4816 17 13 1 90 MY GENERATION (533)
-ELECTRIC BOOGALOO 4813 12 6 2 90 MY GENERATION (533)
-KLYDE SPECTRE 4612 9 3 1 85 MEAN PEOPLE (514)
CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-MONGO CRUSH 5024 16 11 0 83 LORDS OF DISCIPLINE (543)
FLO VALVE 4243 9 12 1 83 OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
CASANOVA 4886 9 7 0 83 BIZARRO SQUAD (537)
THE HIEROPHANT 5298 15 6 0 81 PANDORA'S CARDS (570)
FROGGER 3656 15 18 1 79 CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
BAD MOON RISING 4019 13 13 1 79 LUNAE MILITES (387)
WHEELY BALDY 5166 9 2 1 78 NEW MISFITS (565)
GORDONS 5337 14 6 0 69 BIG SHOTS (574)
MAMBA 5373 8 4 0 68 SERPENTS HOLD (575)
STICKY VICKI 5421 9 17 1 67 TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)
CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SNOOPY 5095 7 2 1 65 COMIC STRIPS (557)
RUNE 4083 10 6 0 64 MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
NUTTY NECROMANCER 5328 5 3 1 63 MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
-WICKER GREMLIN 5052 7 3 0 62 LORDS OF DISCIPLINE (543)
WOODFORD 5338 14 6 1 58 BIG SHOTS (574)
-HONG KONG FOOEY 4834 9 4 0 57 MY GENERATION (533)
ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
QIX 4245 9 4 0 55 CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
12 BRAVO 5334 5 2 1 54 NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)
BLUE MOON 4373 7 1 1 52 LUNAE MILITES (387)
FREEBOOTER 5201 7 5 0 52 SEA DOGS (567)
PICAROON 5202 8 1 0 51 SEA DOGS (567)
ANGRY MOMENTUM 5274 6 4 1 50 BIG LAKE PURE (568)
SPRAIN 5195 6 2 0 50 BASH BROS BODY (541)
WACKY WICCAN 4314 7 3 0 49 MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
CHANTILLY LACE 5430 7 5 0 49 GOLDEN OLDIES (577)
MORI-ZUMA GRL 5493 6 3 0 48 GOAT'S HAI-5 (580)
INCANTATION 5057 6 2 0 46 MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
SMOG THE HOG 5281 4 4 1 46 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
-KYGOMAI-LOVEGRL 5495 6 4 1 45 GOAT'S HAI-5 (580)
MURZIO KORST 5157 4 4 0 43 OF WOLF AND MAN (558)
CAVOLA ZAPAYO 5112 6 2 0 42 OF WOLF AND MAN (558)
PEGGY SUE 5426 7 3 1 41 GOLDEN OLDIES (577)
ZAXXON 4172 8 12 1 40 CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
HOBBES 5106 5 7 0 40 COMIC STRIPS (557)
WISE PILGRIM 5085 7 7 0 39 STAFF OF LIFE (556)
TANNER 5387 7 6 0 38 SERPENTS HOLD (575)
TODD MAYES 4883 6 9 4 38 BIZARRO SQUAD (537)
RECEDING HAIR LINE 5125 5 3 0 38 BASH BROS BODY (541)
BELOW DARK 5124 5 4 1 37 THRESHOLD (560)
KICK-MAN 5436 4 3 2 36 CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
-VICIOUS LEE 5140 6 4 0 34 MOST LEE (561)
BLOOP 5327 5 2 0 34 JUGGALO RYDAZ (562)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
WING HARPER 5194 6 4 1 33 STAFF OF LIFE (556)
REPULSO 5167 6 5 0 33 NEW MISFITS (565)
CANTA THE SHARK 5111 2 6 0 33 OF WOLF AND MAN (558)
HAGAR 5092 7 5 0 32 COMIC STRIPS (557)
DARK LOTUS 5309 5 3 0 31 JUGGALO RYDAZ (562)
SWASHBUCKLER 5197 4 4 3 31 SEA DOGS (567)
RENARD DA KOVA 5114 3 5 0 31 OF WOLF AND MAN (558)
VISCIOUS HATE 5277 6 3 1 30 BIG LAKE PURE (568)
-I'M JUST A BILL 4815 3 3 0 30 MY GENERATION (533)
CORSAIR 5198 5 3 1 29 SEA DOGS (567)
DIAMONDBACK 5366 5 3 0 28 SERPENTS HOLD (575)
-FOOLISH LEE 5363 4 2 0 27 MOST LEE (561)
TRICLOPS 5164 6 5 0 26 NEW MISFITS (565)
-QUIET LEE 5138 6 4 0 26 MOST LEE (561)
-NEGA-SANGO 5490 4 2 0 26 GOAT'S HAI-5 (580)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
POT HOLE 5044 3 5 0 26 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
AXLE FOLEY 5061 3 5 0 26 OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
CRATOS RAMIRO 5110 5 3 0 25 OF WOLF AND MAN (558)
ROCKIN ROBBIN 5475 3 0 0 25 GOLDEN OLDIES (577)
PASSIONNAIRE 5191 5 5 0 24 STAFF OF LIFE (556)
HUNZYKER 5468 4 0 0 24 BLATZ COALITION (579)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
APOCALYPTOR 5163 5 6 0 23 NEW MISFITS (565)
RAMONA 5123 3 6 0 23 THRESHOLD (560)
ACNE 5147 2 6 0 23 BASH BROS BODY (541)
THE ELUCIDATOR 5311 4 5 1 22 STAFF OF LIFE (556)
RESTRAINED CONTEMPT 5472 3 1 0 22 BIG LAKE PURE (568)
-MARIN BLEU 5134 2 5 0 21 LORDS OF DISCIPLINE (543)
NEON GOD 5121 2 7 0 20 THRESHOLD (560)
VAUDRYN 5470 2 2 0 20 BLATZ COALITION (579)
4 OF WANDS 5484 1 1 0 20 PANDORA'S CARDS (570)
TEDDY WESTSIDE 5122 5 4 0 19 THRESHOLD (560)
21 SPEED 5333 3 4 1 19 NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)
BARBARA ANN 5429 3 6 0 19 GOLDEN OLDIES (577)
SHORT SIGHTED 5276 1 9 1 19 BIG LAKE PURE (568)
-LEAN MAC 5313 4 3 1 18 MEAN PEOPLE (514)
CHEATER METER MAID 5280 4 4 0 18 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
SPELLWEAVER 5487 1 1 0 18 MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
BONE SAW 5331 3 4 0 17 NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)
-RAIDER BLAGG 5326 2 4 0 16 MEAN PEOPLE (514)
PINK SHIRT 5336 3 4 0 15 BIG SHOTS (574)
DAGWOOD 5461 3 1 0 15 COMIC STRIPS (557)
RABID RODENT 5165 1 10 0 15 NEW MISFITS (565)
GLACIER 5480 1 0 0 15 LORDS OF DISCIPLINE (543)
PHIL TURR 5442 2 4 0 14 OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
THE TICKLER 5508 1 0 1 14 BEAR LAKE BULLIES (578)
-GEDDY LEE 5466 1 1 0 14 MOST LEE (561)
EMU PHILLIPS 5507 1 0 0 14 BEAR LAKE BULLIES (578)
HYDEKY 5503 1 0 0 14 BLATZ COALITION (579)
HAGAR 5437 3 4 0 13 TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)
TOODLES 5446 1 4 0 13 SERPENTS HOLD (575)
-EVENTURAL LEE 5362 3 3 0 12 MOST LEE (561)
CALVIN 5434 2 5 0 11 COMIC STRIPS (557)
WHITE DEVIL 5451 2 3 1 10 BIG LAKE PURE (568)
MOONBOW 5462 2 2 0 10 LUNAE MILITES (387)
SUN BOY 5463 2 2 0 10 STAFF OF LIFE (556)
GYRG 5504 1 0 0 10 BLATZ COALITION (579)
SLICE AND DICE 5439 2 3 0 9 NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)
-MISTY MOONGLOW 5460 1 1 0 9 BIZARRO SQUAD (537)
-NEGA-YOMI 5491 1 1 0 8 GOAT'S HAI-5 (580)
FAT JACK 5506 1 0 0 8 BEAR LAKE BULLIES (578)
DOCTOR SCIENCE 5476 2 1 0 7 NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)
THE RED ROCKER 5452 1 4 0 7 BEAR LAKE BULLIES (578)
BRIMSTEIN 5464 1 3 0 6 THRESHOLD (560)
THE GIMP 5505 1 0 0 6 BEAR LAKE BULLIES (578)
-LEONARD SMALLS 5457 1 2 0 5 MEAN PEOPLE (514)
VAL VALINE 5477 1 2 0 5 OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
SEVEN OF WANDS 5479 1 2 0 5 PANDORA'S CARDS (570)
-NEGA-AMI 5492 0 2 0 5 GOAT'S HAI-5 (580)
HIGHWINE 5488 1 1 0 4 BIG SHOTS (574)
THE WORLD 5485 0 2 0 2 PANDORA'S CARDS (570)
-LURP SNOZZELROD 5474 0 1 0 1 MEAN PEOPLE (514)
UNPLEASANT ODORS 5499 0 1 0 1 BASH BROS BODY (541)
MYKEY 5502 0 1 0 1 BLATZ COALITION (579)
DUKE OF EARL 5501 0 1 0 1 GOLDEN OLDIES (577)
-ASHER 5459 0 1 0 1 BIZARRO SQUAD (537)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
GRIMJACK 5445 0 1 0 1 LORDS OF DISCIPLINE (543)
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
MORDANT DESERTER 0 0 0 THE TICKLER 5508 385 NONE
DARK SILHOUTTE 5444 0 2 0 BIG LAKE PURE 568 SWASHBUCKLER 5197 381 NOT REVENGED
HIGHWINE 5440 3 1 1 BIG SHOTS 574 BELOW DARK 5124 383
KYFFEN 5483 0 1 0 BLATZ COALITION 579 WHITE DEVIL 5451 383 JUST REVENGED
PYKE 5469 0 1 0 BLATZ COALITION 579 KICK-MAN 5436 382
MAYBELLINE 5428 3 4 0 GOLDEN OLDIES 577 TODD MAYES 4883 384 JUST REVENGED
BILLY BILL 5145 2 8 0 JUGGALO RYDAZ 562 BLACK ORC 385 NONE
MAGIC NINJA #! 5308 2 6 1 JUGGALO RYDAZ 562 SLAUGHTER PRIEST 385 NONE
VIOLET J 5142 2 8 0 JUGGALO RYDAZ 562 BANDIT PRINCE 385 NONE
MOONRAKER 4190 4 4 1 LUNAE MILITES 387 TODD MAYES 4883 381 REVENGED
TALISMAN 3667 12 14 1 MAGICAL MADNESS 417 LONGSHOREMAN 5199 383
SID SICKLE 4608 7 4 1 MEAN PEOPLE 514 CARJACK 4047 382
PLZ KILL ME 2 5433 0 3 0 NUCLEAR KNIGHTS 573 VISCIOUS HATE 5277 382
ACE OF CUPS 5288 13 13 3 PANDORA'S CARDS 570 FROGGER 3656 382 REVENGED
KNIGHT OF CUPS 5289 2 3 0 PANDORA'S CARDS 570 ANGRY MOMENTUM 5274 382
THE LOVERS 5290 5 3 0 PANDORA'S CARDS 570 KICK-MAN 5436 383
SCALES 5374 7 5 0 SERPENTS HOLD 575 NUTTY NECROMANCE 5328 385
CASSELLIUS 5431 6 2 0 TEAM KASSEL TAP 576 SAILOR MOON 4133 385
KILBRIDE BURN 5449 0 1 0 THRESHOLD 560 THE ELUCIDATOR 5311 381 NOT REVENGED
PERSONAL ADS
Pink Shirt -- How are you not dead?!? -- Swashbuckler of Sea Dogs
Vaudryn -- Ha, ha, ha. You down challenged a 6 foot 8 ripper and you still got beat.
-- Seven of Wands
Queen of Pentacles -- Clearly, I must be one of those. -- Flo Valve
Sailor Moon -- I guess it shows that you aren't much without your magic scimitar. --
Hub Capp
Acne -- What! Another blemish on my record? This will not do. -- Axle Foley
Toodles -- I suggest you consider a new offering to the MUGS. -- Phil Turr
Doctor Science -- You blinded me! -- Val Valine
Longshoreman -- You could have been a contender -- Car "Marlon" Jack
Eye Bags -- What a lucky final match up for you. -- Donut
Cheater Meter Maid -- Ooh, that must have hurt! -- Wheely B.
Nuclear Knights -- You guys ARE a danger for your environment. -- Repulso and Rabid
Rodent
That was certainly an inauspicious beginning to what should amount to a great career
by me, even if I do say so myself. In fact demolished is way too strong of a word to
use in describing my debut. I'm thinking more in the line of "luckily beat" or
"narrowly escaped death at the hands of"! -- Spellweaver
Bubbles! Yes, bubbles! That's what I see as the S.S. Magical Madness sinks slowly
into the sea! I have the lone life vest as I was the winner you see! Even survived a
challenge from some Bully that stank like a watered down Grizzly! -- Nutty Necromancer
Qix -- Me and my big mouth! -- Picaroon of Sea Dogs
Blue Moon -- My, you are a tall Dwarf. So much for a perfect record, hey? --
Cassanova
Golden Oldies -- Sorry. This is a dangerous business we're in. -- Todd Mayes
Moonbow -- You are lucky they have such good healers here in Morya. Remember that I
am a true daughter of the Moon Goddess. -- Misty Moonglow
Rockin Robbin -- Well done. -- Asher
All -- We of Bizarro Squad are making a few changes. One, I will be entering the
arena myself, soon. There will be no more easy wins against my warriors. Good luck.
-- Charlie Rankin
Golden Oldies -- Because you are in the Slaughter Contest, I will challenge Chantilly
Lace to give you a shot at revenge. -- Todd Mayes
All -- Well, after a refreshing vacation at the local morgue, most of my Necrophiliac
warriors die not return. Maybe they had something to prove in the Dark Arena? Be
real interesting if one survived. -- The Ringmasta, Juggalo Rydaz
Jar Jar Binks -- I've hated you since Phantom Menace! -- Diamondback
Phil Turr -- You could've at least taught me something. -- Toodles
I just ran over a Pot Hole. lol -- Tanner
The World -- Father says worms help our garden, but not a can of them. -- Sun Boy
Cavola Zapayo -- In our rematch it appears I found *my* favorite. -- Wise
Wacky Wiccan -- My fine sculpting has improved you animal totem. -- Elucidator
Sprain -- That's no way to beat a healer. -- Wing
21 Speed -- That was a notch in your throat! -- Passionnaire
This is your favorite DJ getting ready to spin all the records for your pleasure here
at WARC. Call in if you have any requests you'd like to hear. On that note I'd like to
make a request.... Will the matchmakers stop placing me against STs and LUs! I find
these horrible matchups that I am being subjected to. I'm a much better warrior than
my recent record has shown. This is Galaxian on WCAR and we'll be back after the
following messages....... : -- Galaxian, Classic Arcade
Dear Arenamaster -- I was pretty displeased with the matchups you gave my team, we
went a miserable 1-4-0-0 and that is simply unacceptable. The proof of this is I was
just passed in the standings by Assur *shudder*. I can say I am quite happy to see Eye
Bags finally leave now how about some easier matchups for the moderator! -- Street
Legal
Street Legal -- But I took out OAB's undefeated brick PL! I boxed him into the corner
and managed to fill 60% of the arena sands!- Qix, Classic Arcade
Qix -- You are the 1 exception to my complaints, after a parry-lunge with ST=11
CN=8(1) SZ=6 WT=11(1) WL=21(1) SP=14 DF=17(1), probably shouldn't be 6-1 in this
contest, so you are performing WELL ABOVE your station. Please keep being a role
model for your teammates! After all we might be a team that could win Slugbait's 5
Roll-Up sheets for worst team run when you think about Zaxxon being 4-3 when he is a
parry-strike with ST=15 CN=10 SZ=11 WT=15 WL=7 SP=15 DF=11. We lost our best warrior
on turn 1 when Tempest died. He was a striker with ST=14 CN=7 SZ=8 WT=17 WL=9 SP=12
DF=17. -- Street Legal, mgr. of crap!
All -- I am a rare breed. -- Rare Breed of Big Shots
As I was motivatin' in a Coup de Ville
I saw Todd Mayes over the hill
A man with a quarterstaff behind the wheel
Looked pretty scrawny for a wall of steel
The Cadillac doin' about ninety-five
She's bumper to bumper, rollin' side by side
Maybellene
Why are your lips blue?
Oh Maybellene,
why did Todd Mayes do?
Please start back doin' the things you used to do
The Cadillac pulled up to the show
Maybelline fell down and wouldn't breathe no more
It then got cloudy and started to rain
I was fixin' Todd Mayes for a world of pain
The rainwater blowin' all under my hood
That stick in her neck wasn't doin' no good
Maybellene
Why are your lips blue?
Oh Maybellene, why did Todd Mayes do?
Please start back doin' the things you used to do. -- Minstrel, for Maybellene
Scales -- Well that was ugly! -- Canta the Shark
Smog the Hog -- I shouldn't be that easy to beat! I can't seem to swing -- Cratos
Ramiro
Hagar -- That was my best performance yet! -- Renard Da Kova
Angry Momentum -- You were our team's only win last turn, so you are the recipient of
our only personal ad. Though I'm sure it wasn't your intent, thanks for not making
last turn's fights a complete loss. I should probably return the favor sometime, but
not until after this contest is over. -- Bad Moon Rising
Apocalyptor -- I seems I may be mistaken -- Neon God
Hobbes -- Well fought tiger -- Teddy
Short Sighted -- Hurray! The streak is over! -- Ramona
Incantation -- They seek, oh yes they do -- Below Dark
Dagwood -- Tougher than you look! -- Brimstein
All -- I am barbarian! Hear me roar! -- Hagar, Comic Strips
Galaxian -- Just leave the money on the dresser, thanks. -- Lusty Lisa
Rare Breed -- Nice Fight. -- Sticky Vicki
Kick Man -- Might want to change to Kickedman. Cassellius
Renard Da Krapa -- Whatever! -- Hagar
Luna -- Always nice to give the Milites a loss! Hope to bring you more! -- Deeders
Frogger -- 40+ FE might have something to do with my popularity. Plus, lets be real.
I'm Deeders, people love me!
Darque -- Apparently I bribed the wrong official to set up my match with one of yours
-- Eye Bags
Funky Chicken -- You not only taste like it, you ARE IT. Mmmm -- Big Gut
Axle Foley -- I needed that win. It had been too long -- Acne
Wing -- Tough break. Well not actually a break, but a -- Sprain
Murzio Korst -- We'll have none of your tricks here -- Receding Hair Line
Bad Moon Rising -- You are definitely going to be seeing another moon, but this one
will be full. -- Angry Momentum
Hunzyker -- No fair that you get to bloodfeud, if you were a real man, you would be in
the competition. Once this is over you shall feel the wrath of the White Devil. --
White Devil
Barbara Ann -- I hate you. -- Viscious Hate
Spellweaver -- You should try some other types of weaving, cause what you working with
is not cutting it. -- Restrained Contempt
Rare Breed -- I wish you were so rare that you didn't even exist. -- Den
Teddy -- Talk about unpleasant surprises, I found a finger in my soup. -- Angry
Momentum
Assur -- I didn't read any of your personal ads last turn. Just wanted you to be
aware of that. -- Den
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
BILLY BILL was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
VIOLET J was slaughtered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
MAGIC NINJA #! was killed by SLAUGHTER PRIEST in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
VAUDRYN vanquished WHITE DEVIL in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud brawl.
CASANOVA overpowered STICKY VICKI in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
TODD MAYES was bested by CHANTILLY LACE in a 3 minute Challenge brawl.
THE RED ROCKER was vanquished by SPELLWEAVER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
HUNZYKER outlasted THE WORLD in a slow 14 minute amateur's Challenge brawl.
CARJACK handily defeated QUEEN OF PENTACLES in a 1 minute uneven Title melee.
HUB CAPP won victory over BAD MOON RISING in a action packed 4 minute veteran's duel.
RARE BREED was savagely defeated by LUNA KNIGHT in a 4 minute veteran's fight.
DRUNKEN DONUT luckily beat BIG GUT in a crowd pleasing 3 minute veteran's match.
FLO VALVE was handily defeated by LUSTY LISA in a exciting 1 minute one-sided contest.
THE HIEROPHANT was devastated by GALAXIAN in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
DEEDERS vanquished GORDONS in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
QIX was vanquished by WHEELY BALDY in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray.
FROGGER was devastated by LONGSHOREMAN in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
SAILOR MOON executed CASSELLIUS in a 1 minute one-sided match.
12 BRAVO was beaten by SNOOPY in a popular 1 minute match.
RUNE overcame HOBBES in a 1 minute competition.
MAMBA devastated ZAXXON in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
PEGGY SUE unbelievably bested RENARD DA KOVA in a popular 7 minute gruesome match.
WISE PILGRIM was viciously subdued by ANGRY MOMENTUM in a 1 minute fray.
KICK-MAN was subdued by SPRAIN in a 1 minute fight.
WOODFORD defeated REPULSO in a 1 minute duel.
NUTTY NECROMANCER executed SCALES in a 1 minute uneven fight.
DARK LOTUS was defeated by SMOG THE HOG in a exciting 1 minute bout.
BLUE MOON vanquished PASSIONNAIRE in a 1 minute uneven bout.
TANNER viciously subdued ACNE in a 3 minute gruesome bout.
BELOW DARK was savagely defeated by WACKY WICCAN in a 2 minute gruesome competition.
RECEDING HAIR LINE was beaten by FREEBOOTER in a 2 minute fight.
MORI-ZUMA GRL overpowered TRICLOPS in a 1 minute uneven duel.
VISCIOUS HATE was overpowered by INCANTATION in a 1 minute one-sided match.
SWASHBUCKLER was overpowered by MURZIO KORST in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
PICAROON narrowly defeated CANTA THE SHARK in a action packed 3 minute brutal bout.
WING HARPER bested APOCALYPTOR in a popular 1 minute duel.
DIAMONDBACK slimly won victory over RABID RODENT in a exciting 3 minute bloody battle.
THE ELUCIDATOR was overpowered by CAVOLA ZAPAYO in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
BLOOP demolished BONE SAW in a 1 minute mismatched match.
HAGAR luckily beat PINK SHIRT in a popular 4 minute gory duel.
21 SPEED viciously subdued HAGAR in a 2 minute bloody bout.
CHEATER METER MAID was savagely defeated by AXLE FOLEY in a dull 7 minute competition.
SHORT SIGHTED was defeated by NEON GOD in a 2 minute battle.
CORSAIR slaughtered MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
RAMONA subdued CALVIN in a action packed 1 minute conflict.
TEDDY WESTSIDE was viciously subdued by POT HOLE in a crowd pleasing 4 minute fight.
CRATOS RAMIRO slimly won victory over PHIL TURR in a crowd pleasing 3 minute melee.
BARBARA ANN was savagely defeated by 4 OF WANDS in a 3 minute match.
SLICE AND DICE was luckily beaten by GLACIER in a popular 3 minute beginner's bout.
TOODLES handily defeated DUKE OF EARL in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
DAGWOOD subdued VAL VALINE in a 3 minute novice's conflict.
MOONBOW subdued UNPLEASANT ODORS in a 2 minute novice's battle.
SUN BOY was beaten by RESTRAINED CONTEMPT in a 4 minute amateur's conflict.
BRIMSTEIN was overcome by FAT JACK in a 2 minute amateur's match.
ROCKIN ROBBIN demolished SEVEN OF WANDS in a 1 minute mismatched battle.
DOCTOR SCIENCE was luckily beaten by HYDEKY in a exciting 4 minute novice's brawl.
HIGHWINE was bested by EMU PHILLIPS in a 3 minute novice's bout.
GRIMJACK was vanquished by GYRG in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
MYKEY was savagely defeated by THE GIMP in a 1 minute bloody amateur's brawl.
THE TICKLER executed MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute gruesome one-sided match.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 23 WALL OF STEEL 57 - 45 - 7 56 |
|TOTAL PARRY 17 PARRY-LUNGE 32 - 26 - 0 55 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 15 STRIKING ATTACK 80 - 73 - 11 52 |
|AIMED BLOW 15 TOTAL PARRY 79 - 75 - 2 51 |
|WALL OF STEEL 13 LUNGING ATTACK 88 - 87 - 4 50 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 10 PARRY-STRIKE 26 - 27 - 0 49 |
|BASHING ATTACK 7 AIMED BLOW 78 - 83 - 5 48 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 6 SLASHING ATTACK 43 - 57 - 7 43 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 5 BASHING ATTACK 31 - 52 - 2 37 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 4 PARRY-RIPOSTE 16 - 29 - 0 36 |
Turn 385 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
WALL OF STEEL 9 - 4 LUNGING ATTACK 11 - 12 3 LUNGING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK 9 - 6 AIMED BLOW 7 - 8 3 TOTAL PARRY
TOTAL PARRY 10 - 7 PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 3 2 AIMED BLOW
PARRY-STRIKE 2 - 2 SLASHING ATTACK 4 - 6 2 STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE 2 - 4 1 SLASHING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK 1 - 6
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
SLASHING ATTACK CARJACK 4047 13 5 1 128 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
LUNGING ATTACK DEEDERS 5419 15 9 1 115 TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)
TOTAL PARRY DRUNKEN DONUT 3712 18 7 0 106 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
AIMED BLOW GALAXIAN 4188 14 8 1 105 CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
STRIKING ATTACK SAILOR MOON 4133 12 6 1 102 LUNAE MILITES (387)
WALL OF STEEL SNOOPY 5095 7 2 1 65 COMIC STRIPS (557)
PARRY-LUNGE QIX 4245 9 4 0 55 CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
PARRY-STRIKE BLOOP 5327 5 2 0 34 JUGGALO RYDAZ (562)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.
The overall popularity leader is DEEDERS 5419. The most popular warrior this turn
was BAD MOON RISING 4019. The ten other most popular fighters were BIG GUT 4911,
RABID RODENT 5165, POT HOLE 5044, 4 OF WANDS 5484, DOCTOR SCIENCE 5476, PINK SHIRT
5336, RENARD DA KOVA 5114, CANTA THE SHARK 5111, PHIL TURR 5442, and SLICE AND DICE
5439.
The least popular fighter this week was HUNZYKER 5468. The other ten least popular
fighters were CHEATER METER MAID 5280, PEGGY SUE 5426, HYDEKY 5503, MYKEY 5502,
GRIMJACK 5445, EMU PHILLIPS 5507, SEVEN OF WANDS 5479, DUKE OF EARL 5501, BARBARA ANN
5429, and AXLE FOLEY 5061.
The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:
RARE BREED (28-5350) BIG SHOTS (574)
The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:
LUNA KNIGHT (28-3445) LUNAE MILITES (387)
* * * * * MEMO * * * * *
From: The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission
To: All Managers
In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's
cramp, the census form has been eliminated, effective immediately. Managers may
register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by simply writing them on a
separate piece of paper and submitting them to the Commission. Each warrior may have
up to 15 favorite sayings. Each saying must be categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch,
Victory and may be up to 70 characters long. For any questions, please contact the
Gladiatorial Commission.