DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 07/17/2015    Duedate: 08/13/2015

MORYA ARENA

DM-28    TURN-387

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

LONGSHOREMAN
SEA DOGS (567)
(28-5199) [10-2-1,125]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

LONGSHOREMAN                   12 BRAVO
SEA DOGS (567)                 NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)
(28-5199) [10-2-1,125]         (28-5334) [6-3-1,61]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

DEEDERS                        LONGSHOREMAN
TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)          SEA DOGS (567)
(28-5419) [16-10-1,99]         (28-5199) [10-2-1,125]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

COMIC STRIPS (557)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. GOLDEN OLDIES (577)         45
2. NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)       40      BIG SHOTS (574)
3. BIG SHOTS (574)             35      Unchartered Team
4. GOAT'S HAI-5 (580)          32
5. BIG LAKE PURE (568)         30      THE ANIMANIACS (563)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*THE ANIMANIACS (563)       8   2  1 80.0   1/ 1 COMIC STRIPS (557)       11  4 0
 2/ 1 BIG SHOTS (574)          106  58  4 64.6   2/ 3 SEA DOGS (567)           10  4 1
 3/ 2 MY GENERATION (533)       68  41  4 62.4   3/ 2 SERPENTS HOLD (575)      10  5 0
 4/ 3 BASH BROS BODY (541)      52  36  1 59.1   4/ 5 BIG SHOTS (574)           9  6 0
 5- 4 PANDORA'S CARDS (570)     75  59  5 56.0   5/15 LUNAE MILITES (387)       8  7 1
 6/10 GOLDEN OLDIES (577)       30  26  1 53.6   6/10 MAGICAL MADNESS (417)     8  7 1
 7/ 5 SEA DOGS (567)           175 155 14 53.0   7/12*BLATZ COALITION (579)     8  7 0
 8/ 7 NEW MISFITS (565)         34  31  1 52.3   8/ 7 NEW MISFITS (565)         8  7 0
 9/ 6 OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)   251 232 11 52.0   9/11 BIG LAKE PURE (568)       8  7 0
10- 8 LORDS OF DISCIPLIN (543) 274 261 17 51.2  10/19 GOLDEN OLDIES (577)       8  7 0
11/12 LUNAE MILITES (387)      100  97  8 50.8  11/ 4 BASH BROS BODY (541)      7  8 1
12/ 9 MAGICAL MADNESS (417)     72  70  2 50.7  12/18 CLASSIC ARCADE (415)      7  8 0
13/13 COMIC STRIPS (557)        41  40  2 50.6  13/13 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)     7  8 0
14/11 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)     66  65  3 50.4  14/17 OF WOLF AND MAN (558)     7  8 0
15/14 MEAN PEOPLE (514)         34  35  3 49.3  15/ 8*NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)     7  8 0
16-15*BEAR LAKE BULLIES (578)   12  13  1 48.0  16/16 OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)    6  9 0
17/16 CLASSIC ARCADE (415)      83  91  7 47.7  17/ 6 TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)     6  9 0
18/ 0 THE NINJA (47)            81  89  7 47.6  18-21*BEAR LAKE BULLIES (578)   4  1 1

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/17 OF WOLF AND MAN (558)     24  27  0 47.1  19- 9 PANDORA'S CARDS (570)     4  6 2
20/18*NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)     21  24  2 46.7  20/24 MEAN PEOPLE (514)         4  6 0
21/20 GOAT'S HAI-5 (580)        21  25  1 45.7  21/22 THRESHOLD (560)           4 11 0
22/21 BIG LAKE PURE (568)       26  33  4 44.1  22/25 GOAT'S HAI-5 (580)        3  1 0
23/19 TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)     62  80  5 43.7  23/23 MY GENERATION (533)       3  1 0
24/22 STAFF OF LIFE (556)       30  44  2 40.5  24/ 0*THE ANIMANIACS (563)      3  2 0
25/23*BLATZ COALITION (579)     12  18  0 40.0  25/14 STAFF OF LIFE (556)       2  7 0
26/24 SERPENTS HOLD (575)       44  80  1 35.5  26-26 LORDS OF DISCIPLIN (543)  1  3 0
27/25 THRESHOLD (560)           19  36  1 34.5  27-20 BIZARRO SQUAD (537)       1  3 0
28-26 JUGGALO RYDAZ (562)       17  33  1 34.0  28-27 JUGGALO RYDAZ (562)       1  4 0
29-27 BIZARRO SQUAD (537)       18  38  4 32.1  29/ 0 THE NINJA (47)            0  4 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                        Worst team run in this contest contest  

Prize -- 5 team rollups (provided by slugbait) 

When -- Post warrior stats on the last turn of the contest. Vote after the last round 
of the contest.  

Where -- post team rollups in personal ads of DM #28

How- 
  1) managers who want to enter must post the starting numbers and style of all 
     warriors run. Names optional.  
  2) All mangers who enter will then vote on worst team
  3) team with most votes receives rollups 
  4) managers must have completed in all rounds of this contest to enter.

                             ****************************
               The Further Adventures of Peggy Sue, Ashsashshun! Hunter
                        Part III: the Infinitesimal Translator

     Darmis worked behind the bar of the Nervous Wyvern Inn. He feverously wiped down 
mugs that his wife had cleaned and placed behind the bar. The goal was to make sure 
they were dry so that there wasn't the smell of mildew in them. The Wyvern wasn't some 
goat shack in the middle of the forest with some swill that was filtered through old 
socks. The Nervous Wyvern was a place that the common man could come for a drink, meet 
with friends.
     The door to the Wyvern opened and in walked Antin, Erogh, and Todd. The three men 
were fast friends and were pretty much inseparable. This of course made it had to have 
relationships with women or even hold steady jobs. But the three men didn't seem to 
mind. They were at their happiest when they were drinking at the Wyvern. Despite not 
having steady work, the trio managed to get odd jobs here and there to keep a roof 
over their heads and a few pints in their bellies. To call the bunch under achievers 
was an understatement. They were actually very intelligent. But they just didn't care 
for worldly possessions. A pint here and there, some food, and the occasional company 
of kind women was all they needed. Today the three walked in and were giddy with 
excitement.  Darmis knew that look. They had been up to some mischief. He just hoped 
that they didn't bring it to his place. He didn't need a fight breaking out and a 
bunch of idiots wrecking the Wyvern.
     "Why are you boys so happy?  Darmis asked. He placed the last ceramic stein on 
the bar up right and reached for two more. He knew their order like he knew the back 
of his hand.
     "You're not going to believe what Antin cooked up," Todd said with a smile. He 
had an incisor missing from a street fight a few years ago.
     "Try me," Darmis said as he drew the tap and filled the first mug with a dark 
coloured ale.
     Todd looked at Antin with his big missing tooth smile. Erogh grabbed the first 
filled mug and gulps half in one go. He then wiped his mouth with the back of his 
hand. "Quit being modest, Antin and tell them what you done. It's sheer genius is what 
it is." 
     Darmis placed another mug on the bar. This time Todd and Antin reached for the 
mug at the same time. But, much to Antin's chagrin, Todd was faster. Antin looked at 
him in annoyance.
     "Sorry. I figured that we'd save the best for last," Todd lied. Antin only 
shrugged. Everyone was in too good of a mood to bicker about a mug of ale. After 
Darmis placed a mug in front of Antin, he began his tale.
     "Okay," Antin began. "You know that team feuding with the Lords. You know the 
guys. The Moldy Oldies." 
     "That's 'Golden Oldies'," Todd corrected as he took another sip from his mug.
     "Oh. Golden Oldies then. Anyway, I saw the really crazy one. What was her name? 
Smeggy Sue?" 
     Ale sprayed from Erogh's mouth at the name. Todd couldn't help but roar with 
laughter. Darmis only shook his head in disbelief.
     "I think you mean 'Peggy Sue', Antin," Todd corrected again.
     "Right. Anyway, she was sneaking around Agatha's antique shop." 
     "Ashsashshun!" shouted Erogh and Todd at the top of their lungs.
     "Right. She was skulking around looking for assassins. Or rather 'ashsashshuns.' 
But this time she had an old battered pumpkin in her hand."
     Darmis looked puzzled.
     "I thought it was strange too. You are probably thinking it already. Yes, she was 
talking to it. She was saying something about it talking too loud. Despite knowing how 
crazy she was, I walked over and talked to her and pretended that I worked there."
     "We kind of do work there," Erogh interrupted. "We were moving in some new stuff 
for Agatha. She's a good one, that Agatha.  She is always throwing a little work our 
way." 
     Truth is everyone in Morya threw the friend's work. If they didn't, there would 
be three starved corpses in an alley.
     "Anyway, I walked over and spoke in my best upper crust accent. You've heard how 
the nobles speak to each other. Well, that was me. So, I said, 'Hello, madam'. She 
looked me straight in the eye and said, 'I'm not mad. I'm happy.'"
     Darmis chuckled at the story while he continued wiping down the glasses. He was 
starting to doubt the story. It was too farfetched to be real. Antin picked up on 
that.
     "Boys, did that happen?" 
     Antin's cohorts nodded emphatically.
     "When I realised what level of stupidity I was working with, I couldn't resist. 
So, I reached into my pocket and took out that old flute I was working on." 
     "You could never get that thing to work, Antin," Erogh said. He'd drained his mug 
and signalled for Darmis to refill it. The bartender dutifully did so and placed it on 
the bar.
     "You're right Erogh. I think there was something wrong with the wood. It couldn't 
hold the carving. I think the wood was too soft-"
      "Focus, Antin. Darmis is a busy man and he really should hear this. The evening 
shift will be starting soon," Todd said, bringing everything back to the topic at 
hand.
     Antin drained his mug and asked Darmis to refill it as well. Darmis once again 
busied himself with filling the mug and Antin continued his tale.
     "'Agatha would be angry if she caught me doing this.' I said to her. "This is 
true. Agatha would have a cow if she caught me." 
     Todd finally finished his mug. Darmis didn't need prompting. You'd think the 
three shared the same brain. They probably went to the bathroom together as well. He 
also knew they wouldn't have money for the drinks they are chugging. They'd offer 
trade as always. If they weren't such good guys, he would have gotten tired of them 
years ago. But it was something about het three. And besides, they had cleaned the 
Wyvern more than he had and he owned the damned place.
     "So I looked around. I mean I made a great show of it. I acted like I was letting 
her in on the greatest secret in all of Alastari. I then leaned in close to her. This 
was a big mistake because her breath was atrocious. Imagine smelly feet soaked in 
onion juice with a splash of a sweaty arse. I have to admit I gagged and felt 
something rising up in my throat. 'This is the Infinitesimal Translator. No matter 
where they are from, this device can tell you what they are saying.' I continue saying 
this in my noble voice. 
     "'No way!' she said in wide eyed disbelief. I told her that it did exactly that. 
I even offered to let her try it. First I rambled off some gibberish. This is when 
Erogh and Todd came over. I told her that the gibberish was the language of my home; 
Transel. Obviously she did not know what I was talking about. I then told her to point 
it at me. This time I spoke in my non-fake noble voice. I can't remember what I said 
because I was trying to hold in my laughter and it didn't help that these two were 
cracking up." 
     "The look on her face was priceless. She said she would buy the 'translator' and 
she gave me a dirty little pouch. We all know it was worthless. It is well known that 
she has been trying to buy stuff with wooden coins. But that was okay. So was the 
Infinitesimal Translator." 
      "After taking the translator, she ran out the door with that pumpkin under her 
arm. That is when we decided to follow her. She made a beeline to that restaurant they 
always hang out at. The one where they murdered the waiter. I can't believe the owner 
lets them continue to come back. I mean they should post a sign that say 'Kill Our 
Staff. It's okay!' out front. But we slipped in while she was talking to Vlad. She 
still had that pumpkin under her arm.  Todd hid behind some drapes, I ducked into one 
of the booths, and Erogh sat at a table near them and pretended to read the menu. The 
waiter who served them was terrified. I mean this poor guy was sweating so much it 
looked like he had dunked his head in a horse trough. When he came over Vlad yelled 
something about wanting wine. The guy nodded and ran to get it. I think he wanted to 
be away from them as much as possible. I could hear their conversation clear as day.
     "'What's that?' Vlad asked. Smeggy-er-I mean Peggy Sue still had the broken flute 
in her hand.
      "Of course she couldn't remember what I told her. So she said 'It is a 
Infin..Infun-Info-neuteral Translator.'
     "'A what?' Vlad ask. 'A Infoo..Infan-Infomercial-Infantile Translator? 
HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! Isn't that Longshot?' He pointed at the waiter returning with 
wine and two glasses. I seriously think the guy had a mental problem. Vlad had the 
broken flute in his hand as he pointed.
     "'He looks nothing like Longshot' Erogh said before he realised it. Vlad suddenly 
had a startled look on his face. He looked at the broken flute as if he had found a 
great magical item. Erogh looked at me and I signalled him to continue. I think I 
heard Todd laughing from behind the drapes."
     "You did." Todd said with pride.
     "So Vlad pointed the broken flute, or should I say 'translator' at the waiter. 
That is when Erogh said in a low voice," Antin stifled a giggle "'Leave Longshot 
alone. Let it go. You screwed up. You're an overly sensitive washer woman. No one was 
talking about you.' 
     "But instead, Vlad said, 'Did you hear that? He said 'You're missing the entire 
point.  We all showed up and you cried and threatened to take your toys and go home.  
Then you stayed, lost your warrior, cried and threatened to take your toys and go home 
indefinitely. And you're still here crying.'"
     Darmis interrupted, "That never happened. The same turn he lost the Hush he said 
he was bowing out. He even said he was doing it in respect of their dead friend. There 
was no crying about it. He said he didn't like it, but he was leaving out of respect 
for their friend. He was also leaving because the team wasn't strong enough. He had a 
star played to build a team around and he lost it. How many of his friends have done 
the same thing."
     All three of the friends nodded in unison.
     "Anyway, No matter what was said, he had an insult for Longshot. Finally Erogh 
says, 'You are a one trick pony. You offer nothing but the same nonsense. 'You're 
whining. I killed the Hush. You're whining. I killed the Hush.' Just admit you're 
wrong and shut up. Better yet, just shut up. You have confirmed that you are an 
***hole. No need to keep talking.'"
     The empty inn echoed with laughter.
     "We left after that."
     "Do you ever think he'll admit he was wrong?" Todd asked with his elbow resting 
on the bar.
     "I doubt it," Darmis said. "His mouth backed him up in a corner. Not to mention, 
I am willing to bet you that his buddies have filled his head up with delusions of 
grandeur. He'll be out of everyone's hair soon."
     "Oh!" Antin said. "I nearly forgot. That pouch wasn't full of wooden coins. 
     Antin reached in and pulled out a hand full of real coins. In total there were 
ten jarhl and three vyhar. "It seems that she found real money after all."
     With the promise of actual money, Darmis was more than happy to pour another 
round for the three pranksters.

***---------*---------*---------*---------**---------*---------*---------*---------***

                           Slaughter Contest
                             Turn 9 Report

                               Turn        Turn  Total  Total
Score  Team                    Record      Score Fights DA's
 30    SEA DOGS (567)          4-1-0-0, Y    4   45/45   0
 25    LUNAE MILITES (387)     1-4-0-0, Y   -2   45/45   0
 20    BASH BROS BODY (541)    3-2-0-0, Y    2   45/45   0
 16    CLASSIC ARCADE (415)    4-1-0-0, Y    4   45/45   0
 15    COMIC STRIPS (557)      5-0-0-0, Y    6   44/45   1
 13    MAGICAL MADNESS (417)   1-4-0-0, Y   -2   45/45   0
 13    BIG SHOTS (574)         5-0-0-0, Y    6   44/45   0
 11    UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)   1-4-0-0, Y   -2   45/45   0
  9    SERPENTS HOLD (575)     3-2-0-0, Y    2   45/45   1
  8    OF WOLF AND MAN (558)   2-3-0-0, Y    0   45/45   0
  8    NEW MISFITS (565)       4-1-0-0, Y    4   45/45   0
  7    TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)   3-2-0-0, Y    2   45/45   0
  6    OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)  2-3-0-0, Y    0   45/45   0
  2    STAFF OF LIFE (556)     1-1-0-0, N    0   42/45   1
  2    GOLDEN OLDIES (577)     1-4-0-0, Y   -2   45/45   1
  1    PANDORA'S CARDS (570)   3-2-2-0, N    3   45/45   1
 -3    NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)   3-2-0-0, Y    2   40/45   1
 -4    BIG LAKE PURE (568)     3-2-0-0, N    1   45/45   0
-15    THRESHOLD (560)         0-5-0-1, Y   -5   45/45   1
 DQ    MEAN PEOPLE (514)       2-3-0-2, N   -3   35/45   2
 DQ    JUGGALO RYDAZ (562)     0-0-0-0, N    0   35/45   3

Moderators:
   Street Legal & Assurnasirbanipal

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

The view is nice from up here.

                                          -- Longshoreman of Sea Dogs

                                      SPY REPORT

     Greetings warriors!  It is I, Zontani Sharp Eyes, here to bring report of the 
clash and bustle of the weekly MORYA games.  My tutors were fond of telling me that 
the higher you rise the harder you fall.  This week TEAM KASSEL TAP went 1-4-0 and 
fell 11 notches into 17th!  STAFF OF LIFE bore the brunt of major assault on their 
standings this week as they dropped to 25th position as the result of going 0-2-0!  
Did only my eyes note the 4-1-0 record which GOLDEN OLDIES managed to post this 
round?  I don't doubt that such a record will draw challengers!  WOODFORD caught the 
eye of many in the gladiatorial commission as he skillfully bested KLYDE SPECTRE and 
was awarded 26 points in recognition.  In one of the week's more notable duels, SHORT 
SIGHTED put down HOBBES, causing him to lose 23 points of recognition in the process. 
Not for nothing has LONGSHOREMAN in the past laid claim to the Duelmaster's throne, 
and this week he's proven his combat skill yet again.  Would you believe that over 
half of the old women in MORYA seem to feel that they could fight better than you 
gladiators?   
     I have been in deep conclave with my spies who watched all that has recently 
transpired.  Indeed there is much I would report.  My inside sources tell me that the 
team to beat in MORYA these days is BASH BROS BODY.  At least, most blades in town 
are looking to avoid them.  If you didn't look down dark alleys you'd have been hard 
pressed to find any of GOAT'S HAI-5 last week.  Busy avoiding BASH BROS BODY?  Mighty 
fighters cannot but expect competition from those below.  WHITE DEVIL take warning!  
You have more than a few enemies in MORYA.  For some warriors honor is not 
important--only empty victory.  See, gladiators, how HUNZYKER of BLATZ COALITION 
challenged down 24 points to DUKE OF EARL.  The weight of the challenge fell hard 
upon DUKE OF EARL and predictably he was overcame by HUNZYKER.  This is how to arouse 
the anger of an entire guild!   
     What warrior does not hone his years, impatiently waiting for the moment of his 
foe's mortality?  I have seen warriors die in youth.  I have seen women cut down in 
their prime.  This week OF WOLF AND MAN must mourn the loss of 7-3-0 CAVOLA ZAPAYO to 
BASH BROS BODY.  Death has again visited the sands of our arena.  ACNE has claimed 
the life of CAVOLA ZAPAYO.  Do any doubt that OF WOLF AND MAN will seek a bloody 
revenge?  BELOW DARK, may you forever slay thy enemies with impunity as you did 
HIGHWINE.  Are there none left in BIG SHOTS who hold honor as a virtue?  Fate is a 
fickle mistress.  She showers the miserable with fortune but sets enemies against the 
victorious.  Remember this!   
     A thought before I go.  Each warrior practices one style, but must not the wise 
manager learn the secrets of them all?  Sadly warriors, now longer can I keep thy 
company nor savor the ale of thy fine city.  Depart I must and soon!  Till we meet 
again, remember:  a turtle walks slow, hides head in a shell, and harms no one; a 
lion runs to slay its prey.-- Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LONGSHOREMAN 5199            10   2  1   125       SEA DOGS (567)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SAILOR MOON 4133             14   6  1   113       LUNAE MILITES (387)
 FROGGER 3656                 17  18  1   111       CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
 CARJACK 4047                 14   6  1   106       UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
 BIG GUT 4911                 14   9  0   106       BASH BROS BODY (541)
-QUEEN OF PENTACLES 5294      12   5  0   105       PANDORA'S CARDS (570)
 FUNKY CHICKEN 4816           19  13  1   102       MY GENERATION (533)
 DEEDERS 5419                 16  10  1    99       TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)
 DRUNKEN DONUT 3712           18   9  0    95       UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
 GALAXIAN 4188                15   9  1    95       CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
 ELECTRIC BOOGALOO 4813       13   7  2    95       MY GENERATION (533)
 WHEELY BALDY 5166            10   3  1    95       NEW MISFITS (565)
 HUB CAPP 4168                19  13  0    92       OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
 LUSTY LISA 5412              15  15  2    92       TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WOODFORD 5338                16   6  1    90       BIG SHOTS (574)
-MONGO CRUSH 5024             16  11  0    83       LORDS OF DISCIPLINE (543)
-THE HIEROPHANT 5298          15   7  0    83       PANDORA'S CARDS (570)
 GORDONS 5337                 15   7  0    82       BIG SHOTS (574)
 FLO VALVE 4243               10  13  1    80       OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
-CASANOVA 4886                 9   8  0    77       BIZARRO SQUAD (537)
 MAMBA 5373                    9   5  0    75       SERPENTS HOLD (575)
 BAD MOON RISING 4019         13  15  1    74       LUNAE MILITES (387)
 JIMMY JABB 269               15  18  2    73       THE NINJA (47)
 STICKY VICKI 5421             9  19  1    73       TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)
 STINGER 404                  15  15  0    68       THE NINJA (47)
 KLYDE SPECTRE 4612           10   4  1    68       MEAN PEOPLE (514)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SNOOPY 5095                   8   3  1    67       COMIC STRIPS (557)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RUNE 4083                    10   8  0    66       MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
-FREEBOOTER 5201               8   5  0    66       SEA DOGS (567)
 MORI-ZUMA GRL 5493            7   4  0    66       GOAT'S HAI-5 (580)
-WICKER GREMLIN 5052           7   3  0    62       LORDS OF DISCIPLINE (543)
 PICAROON 5202                10   1  0    61       SEA DOGS (567)
 PEGGY SUE 5426                9   3  1    61       GOLDEN OLDIES (577)
 12 BRAVO 5334                 6   3  1    61       NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)
 TANNER 5387                   8   7  0    60       SERPENTS HOLD (575)
-HONG KONG FOOEY 4834          9   4  0    57       MY GENERATION (533)
 NUTTY NECROMANCER 5328        6   4  1    57       MAGICAL MADNESS (417)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ACNE 5147                     4   6  1    56       BASH BROS BODY (541)
 QIX 4245                     10   5  0    53       CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
 WACKY WICCAN 4314             9   3  0    53       MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
 HURRICANE 1190               10  11  1    52       THE NINJA (47)
 SHORT SIGHTED 5276            3   9  1    51       BIG LAKE PURE (568)
 HAGAR 5092                    9   5  0    50       COMIC STRIPS (557)
 BLUE MOON 4373                8   2  1    49       LUNAE MILITES (387)
 BONE SAW 5331                 5   4  0    49       NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)
 VISCIOUS HATE 5277            8   3  1    48       BIG LAKE PURE (568)
 RECEDING HAIR LINE 5125       7   3  0    45       BASH BROS BODY (541)
-KYGOMAI-LOVEGRL 5495          6   4  1    45       GOAT'S HAI-5 (580)
 CHANTILLY LACE 5430           8   6  0    44       GOLDEN OLDIES (577)
 TRICLOPS 5164                 8   5  0    43       NEW MISFITS (565)
 ZAXXON 4172                   9  13  1    42       CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
 NEGA-SANGO 5490               5   2  0    42       GOAT'S HAI-5 (580)
 KICK-MAN 5436                 5   4  2    40       CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
-WISE PILGRIM 5085             7   7  0    39       STAFF OF LIFE (556)
-TODD MAYES 4883               6   9  4    38       BIZARRO SQUAD (537)
 REPULSO 5167                  7   6  0    37       NEW MISFITS (565)
 MURZIO KORST 5157             5   5  0    37       OF WOLF AND MAN (558)
 RENARD DA KOVA 5114           4   6  0    37       OF WOLF AND MAN (558)
 DIAMONDBACK 5366              7   3  0    34       SERPENTS HOLD (575)
 INCANTATION 5057              6   4  0    34       MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
-BLOOP 5327                    5   2  0    34       JUGGALO RYDAZ (562)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-WING HARPER 5194              6   4  1    33       STAFF OF LIFE (556)
 SWASHBUCKLER 5197             4   6  3    33       SEA DOGS (567)
 SMOG THE HOG 5281             4   6  1    33       UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
 CANTA THE SHARK 5111          2   8  0    33       OF WOLF AND MAN (558)
 ANGRY MOMENTUM 5274           6   6  1    32       BIG LAKE PURE (568)
 TEDDY WESTSIDE 5122           6   5  0    32       THRESHOLD (560)
 BARBARA ANN 5429              4   7  0    32       GOLDEN OLDIES (577)
 CORSAIR 5198                  6   4  1    31       SEA DOGS (567)
 HOBBES 5106                   6   8  0    31       COMIC STRIPS (557)
-DARK LOTUS 5309               5   3  0    31       JUGGALO RYDAZ (562)
 CALVIN 5434                   4   5  0    31       COMIC STRIPS (557)
 RABID RODENT 5165             3  10  0    31       NEW MISFITS (565)
 LEAN MAC 5313                 5   4  1    30       MEAN PEOPLE (514)
-I'M JUST A BILL 4815          3   3  0    30       MY GENERATION (533)
 HUNZYKER 5468                 6   0  0    28       BLATZ COALITION (579)
 PINK SHIRT 5336               5   4  0    28       BIG SHOTS (574)
 21 SPEED 5333                 4   5  1    28       NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)
 SPRAIN 5195                   6   4  0    26       BASH BROS BODY (541)
 CHEATER METER MAID 5280       6   4  0    26       UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
 PASSIONNAIRE 5191             6   6  0    25       STAFF OF LIFE (556)
 APOCALYPTOR 5163              6   7  0    25       NEW MISFITS (565)
 ROCKIN ROBBIN 5475            4   1  0    25       GOLDEN OLDIES (577)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CRATOS RAMIRO 5110            6   4  0    24       OF WOLF AND MAN (558)
 RAMONA 5123                   4   7  0    24       THRESHOLD (560)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BELOW DARK 5124               5   6  1    22       THRESHOLD (560)
 DAGWOOD 5461                  5   1  0    22       COMIC STRIPS (557)
 AXLE FOLEY 5061               3   7  0    22       OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
 VAL VALINE 5477               3   2  0    22       OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
-4 OF WANDS 5484               2   1  1    22       PANDORA'S CARDS (570)
 THE ELUCIDATOR 5311           4   7  1    21       STAFF OF LIFE (556)
 POT HOLE 5044                 3   7  0    21       UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
 WHITE DEVIL 5451              3   4  1    20       BIG LAKE PURE (568)
 DOCTOR SCIENCE 5476           3   2  0    20       NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)
 RAIDER BLAGG 5326             3   5  0    20       MEAN PEOPLE (514)
 KATIE KABOOM 5155             2   0  1    20       THE ANIMANIACS (563)
 BOMBATTA 5510                 2   0  0    18       SERPENTS HOLD (575)
 PESTO 5153                    2   0  0    18       THE ANIMANIACS (563)
-MARIN BLEU 5134               2   6  0    18       LORDS OF DISCIPLINE (543)
 BOO BOO CASCADE 5515          1   0  0    18       MEAN PEOPLE (514)
 HAGAR 5437                    4   5  0    17       TEAM KASSEL TAP (576)
 YAKKO 5154                    2   0  0    17       THE ANIMANIACS (563)
 MALORT 5513                   1   0  0    17       BIG SHOTS (574)
 RESTRAINED CONTEMPT 5472      4   2  0    16       BIG LAKE PURE (568)
 SLICE AND DICE 5439           3   4  0    16       NUCLEAR KNIGHTS (573)
 NEON GOD 5121                 2   9  0    15       THRESHOLD (560)
-GLACIER 5480                  1   0  0    15       LORDS OF DISCIPLINE (543)
 MOONBOW 5462                  3   3  0    14       LUNAE MILITES (387)
-THE TICKLER 5508              1   0  1    14       BEAR LAKE BULLIES (578)
-EMU PHILLIPS 5507             1   0  0    14       BEAR LAKE BULLIES (578)
 GYRG 5504                     2   1  0    13       BLATZ COALITION (579)
 TORNADO 1958                  1   3  0    13       THE NINJA (47)
-SEVEN OF WANDS 5479           2   2  1    12       PANDORA'S CARDS (570)
 PHIL TURR 5442                2   6  0    12       OTTO'S MECHANICS (226)
 HYDEKY 5503                   2   1  0    11       BLATZ COALITION (579)
 HIGHWINE 5488                 2   2  0    10       BIG SHOTS (574)
 VAUDRYN 5470                  2   4  0    10       BLATZ COALITION (579)
-SUN BOY 5463                  2   2  0    10       STAFF OF LIFE (556)
 TOODLES 5446                  1   6  0     9       SERPENTS HOLD (575)
-MISTY MOONGLOW 5460           1   1  0     9       BIZARRO SQUAD (537)
-NEGA-YOMI 5491                1   1  0     8       GOAT'S HAI-5 (580)
-FAT JACK 5506                 1   0  0     8       BEAR LAKE BULLIES (578)
-THE RED ROCKER 5452           1   4  0     7       BEAR LAKE BULLIES (578)
 SPELLWEAVER 5487              1   3  0     7       MAGICAL MADNESS (417)
-THE GIMP 5505                 1   0  0     6       BEAR LAKE BULLIES (578)
 DUKE OF EARL 5501             0   3  0     6       GOLDEN OLDIES (577)
-NEGA-AMI 5492                 0   2  0     5       GOAT'S HAI-5 (580)
 DOT 5156                      1   1  0     4       THE ANIMANIACS (563)
 WAKKO 5152                    1   1  0     4       THE ANIMANIACS (563)
 HONEY MOON 5509               0   2  0     4       LUNAE MILITES (387)
 SASION 5512                   0   1  0     3       THRESHOLD (560)
 UNPLEASANT ODORS 5499         0   3  0     3       BASH BROS BODY (541)
 MYKEY 5502                    0   3  0     3       BLATZ COALITION (579)
-THE WORLD 5485                0   3  0     3       PANDORA'S CARDS (570)
-ASHER 5459                    0   1  0     1       BIZARRO SQUAD (537)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
HIGHWINE 5440           3  1 1 BIG SHOTS 574        BELOW DARK 5124       383  NOT REVENGED
CHARLIE RANKIN 5500     0  1 0 BIZARRO SQUAD 537    4 OF WANDS 5484       386   
KYFFEN 5483             0  1 0 BLATZ COALITION 579  WHITE DEVIL 5451      383  REVENGED
MAYBELLINE 5428         3  4 0 GOLDEN OLDIES 577    TODD MAYES 4883       384  REVENGED
TALISMAN 3667          12 14 1 MAGICAL MADNESS 417  LONGSHOREMAN 5199     383  NOT REVENGED

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
POS 5514                0  1 0 MEAN PEOPLE 514      BANDIT PRINCE         387  NONE
CAVOLA ZAPAYO 5112      7  3 0 OF WOLF AND MAN 558  ACNE 5147             387   
THE LOVERS 5290         5  3 0 PANDORA'S CARDS 570  KICK-MAN 5436         383  NOT REVENGED
SCALES 5374             7  5 0 SERPENTS HOLD 575    NUTTY NECROMANCE 5328 385  REVENGED
CASSELLIUS 5431         6  2 0 TEAM KASSEL TAP 576  SAILOR MOON 4133      385   
MANDINI 5511            1  1 0 TEAM KASSEL TAP 576  JAR JAR BINKS         387  NONE
BRIMSTEIN 5464          1  4 0 THRESHOLD 560        SEVEN OF WANDS 5479   386   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Peggy Sue -- I've heard tales of your exploits, but nothing could prepare me for the 
real thing. -- Swashbuckler of Sea Dogs

Receding Hair Line -- You again? Damn... -- Repulso

Ramona -- Ah, thank you so much! I have been dreaming for many turns to meet someone 
like you in the sands! What a relief! Do you have a sister, too? -- Rabid Rodent

Rare Breed -- Begone from here, ye foul brute -- Hub Capp

Bad Moon Rising -- Looks like the sun is setting on your again -- Flo Valve

Diamondback -- I guess that offhand weapon wasn't the best choice -- Axle Foley

Bone Saw -- You certainly don't look rough around the edges -- Phil Turr

Duke of Earl -- Always said you were one of my favourites, and you let me win to boot 
-- Val Valine

All -- I am a pink shirt. -- Pink Shirt of Big Shots

Blue Moon -- Well, you know what they say.  Once in a... -- Freebooter of Sea Dogs

Longshoreman -- if only the clash had gone my way. -- Carjack

Wheely Baldy -- that rogan is sure kicking in. -- Drunken

Moon Bow -- I won?  That's one more win than my manager thought I'd get! -- Bombatta

Axle Foley -- Style mismatch?  BAH! -- Diamondback

That sure was an embarrassing turn.  I hope we aren't knocked so far back that we 
can't challenge the top teams! -- Spellweaver

Smog the Hog -- For some reason I'm in the mood for bacon. -- Picaroon of Sea Dogs

Cheater Meter Maid -- That was, well, tiring.  Grats on the win! -- Barbara Ann

Acne -- I needed some Proactive!! -- Robbin

Val -- Congratulations -- The Duke

1 -- 4... 1 -- 4 for the oldies but baddies.  And who was the winner?  Who?  What did 
you honestly expect. -- Peggy

Triclops -- Must have more cow bell! -- Neon

Passionnaire -- They might kick me to the eastside now! -- Teddy

Rabid Rodent -- Now I need to get shots. -- Ramona

Zaxxon -- Worst game ever! -- Below Dark

I almost forgot to say something! And we went 4-1-0-0! -- Galaxian, Classic Arcade 

Something! -- Galaxian, Classic Arcade

All -- That's right! We bad! I keep telling you that! -- Hagar, comic strips

The Hierophant -- Thanks for giving my team our only win last turn. The depression for 
the others is too great to speak this turn! -- Sailor Moon

OAB -- [insert hate-filled rant followed by self-pitying monologue] -- Master Darque

Vlad -- Same to you. -- Longshot

Casanova, you only prove what a fool you are when you send your challenge with my name 
on it. -- Lust Lisa

Lean Mac -- Why does Bill try so hard to be an A hole? Most in Alastari know this to 
be true! With his challenges he simply looks more like a sad, pathetic ****. -- Hagar

Mykey --  I think you know Mandini knows how to handle herself around a brewski!

Klyde Spectre -- Nice Challenge!  If you cant beat em, act like a baby and start 
challenging. Way to prove to everyone how inferior you really are. Sticki Vicky

Frogger -- Nice work, you were due. -- Deeders

Woodford -- I was injured. -- Sprain

Tanner -- We all do. -- Acne

Rockin Robbin -- Rock on. -- Acne

Repulso -- I'm repulsed. -- Receding Hair Line

Donut -- And yes, the donuts contributed. -- Big Gut

Mamba -- Dancing is hard work. -- Big Gut

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

POS was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
MYKEY was devastated by WHITE DEVIL in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud duel.
MORI-ZUMA GRL demolished RUNE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
HUNZYKER unbelievably bested DUKE OF EARL in a 4 minute gory Challenge contest.
LEAN MAC defeated RESTRAINED CONTEMPT in a 4 minute Challenge match.
VAUDRYN was bested by MOONBOW in a action packed 1 minute Challenge brawl.
HYDEKY luckily beat TOODLES in a exciting 3 minute bloody Challenge struggle.
GYRG was overcome by RAMONA in a 1 minute beginner vs. expert Challenge fight.
LONGSHOREMAN viciously subdued DRUNKEN DONUT in a 7 minute veteran's Title duel.
LUSTY LISA was overpowered by VENOMOUS CONCUBINE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
WHEELY BALDY was overcome by FROGGER in a popular 1 minute bout.
BIG GUT subdued BAD MOON RISING in a crowd pleasing 1 minute master's match.
FUNKY CHICKEN devastated SNOOPY in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
FLO VALVE was devastated by DEEDERS in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
GALAXIAN overcame STICKY VICKI in a 2 minute gory expert's fight.
SAILOR MOON devastated JIMMY JABB in a 1 minute uneven duel.
CARJACK overpowered GORDONS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched brawl.
MAMBA overpowered HURRICANE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
STINGER was overpowered by ELECTRIC BOOGALOO in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout.
KLYDE SPECTRE was handily defeated by WOODFORD in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
HUB CAPP outlasted TANNER in a crowd boring 15 minute fight.
QIX was luckily beaten by PEGGY SUE in a action packed 5 minute gruesome bout.
ZAXXON slimly lost to HAGAR in a popular 4 minute brutal contest.
INCANTATION was defeated by BLUE MOON in a action packed 1 minute fight.
KICK-MAN was overpowered by 12 BRAVO in a 1 minute uneven fight.
HOBBES was overpowered by SHORT SIGHTED in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
NUTTY NECROMANCER vanquished RENARD DA KOVA in a 1 minute uneven bout.
CAVOLA ZAPAYO was easily killed by ACNE in a exciting 1 minute uneven bout.
CHANTILLY LACE overcame FRATSFA SLAVE in a 3 minute veteran vs. novice duel.
RECEDING HAIR LINE luckily beat CANTA THE SHARK in a action packed 10 minute duel.
WACKY WICCAN beat SWASHBUCKLER in a 1 minute match.
SMOG THE HOG was defeated by TRICLOPS in a 1 minute brutal fight.
VISCIOUS HATE overpowered PASSIONNAIRE in a 1 minute uneven bout.
ANGRY MOMENTUM was demolished by PICAROON in a 1 minute uneven contest.
CORSAIR was defeated by NEGA-SANGO in a 1 minute struggle.
SPRAIN was demolished by BONE SAW in a 1 minute mismatched match.
REPULSO overpowered PHIL TURR in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fray.
RABID RODENT subdued DOCTOR SCIENCE in a 2 minute veteran vs. beginner conflict.
APOCALYPTOR was luckily beaten by BARBARA ANN in a action packed 4 minute gory bout.
MURZIO KORST viciously subdued HAGAR in a crowd pleasing 3 minute gruesome match.
BELOW DARK was savagely defeated by 21 SPEED in a 1 minute brutal fight.
DIAMONDBACK unbelievably bested THE ELUCIDATOR in a crowd pleasing 4 minute duel.
CALVIN overcame SLICE AND DICE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute duel.
POT HOLE was defeated by TEDDY WESTSIDE in a exciting 4 minute brawl.
PINK SHIRT handily defeated MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute mismatched melee.
RAIDER BLAGG was outlasted by DAGWOOD in a tiring 15 minute match.
CHEATER METER MAID savagely defeated AXLE FOLEY in a 3 minute gruesome fight.
NEON GOD was beaten by PESTO in a 3 minute expert vs. novice upset bout.
CRATOS RAMIRO overcame HONEY MOON in a 3 minute veteran vs. novice duel.
TORNADO slimly lost to ROCKIN ROBBIN in a exciting 4 minute novice's bout.
DOT was overpowered by MALORT in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
KATIE KABOOM bested HIGHWINE in a 2 minute novice's conflict.
VAL VALINE devastated UNPLEASANT ODORS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided battle.
SPELLWEAVER was defeated by YAKKO in a 2 minute brutal novice's brawl.
BOMBATTA bested SASION in a popular 4 minute gruesome novice's brawl.
MANDINI was butchered by JAR JAR BINKS in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
WAKKO was devastated by BOO BOO CASCADE in a 1 minute mismatched conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  21         TOTAL PARRY       97 -  79 -  1      55  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     15         PARRY-LUNGE       35 -  29 -  0      55  |
|AIMED BLOW                      13         WALL OF STEEL     62 -  53 -  7      54  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 13         STRIKING ATTACK   85 -  78 - 10      52  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  12         LUNGING ATTACK   102 - 103 -  4      50  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   11         AIMED BLOW        85 -  87 -  5      49  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 10         BASHING ATTACK    39 -  48 -  2      45  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      8         PARRY-STRIKE      24 -  30 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         SLASHING ATTACK   46 -  64 -  7      42  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-RIPOSTE     17 -  29 -  1      37  |

Turn 387 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY       10 -  5     AIMED BLOW         6 -  7         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     7 -  5     SLASHING ATTACK    4 -  6         2  STRIKING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      6 -  5     STRIKING ATTACK    5 -  8         2  SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK    11 - 10     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  2         2  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-LUNGE        4 -  4     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  3         1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  LONGSHOREMAN 5199          10   2  1  125 SEA DOGS (567)
SLASHING ATTACK  CARJACK 4047               14   6  1  106 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
LUNGING ATTACK   BIG GUT 4911               14   9  0  106 BASH BROS BODY (541)
TOTAL PARRY      DRUNKEN DONUT 3712         18   9  0   95 UGLY URBAN ORCS (425)
AIMED BLOW       GALAXIAN 4188              15   9  1   95 CLASSIC ARCADE (415)
WALL OF STEEL    WOODFORD 5338              16   6  1   90 BIG SHOTS (574)
PARRY-LUNGE      PICAROON 5202              10   1  0   61 SEA DOGS (567)
BASHING ATTACK   REPULSO 5167                7   6  0   37 NEW MISFITS (565)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is DEEDERS 5419.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was LONGSHOREMAN 5199.  The ten other most popular fighters were QIX 4245, CANTA THE 
SHARK 5111, TORNADO 1958, SASION 5512, ZAXXON 4172, APOCALYPTOR 5163, POT HOLE 5044, 
ROCKIN ROBBIN 5475, TOODLES 5446, and MURZIO KORST 5157.

The least popular fighter this week was DAGWOOD 5461.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were RAIDER BLAGG 5326, HUB CAPP 4168, TANNER 5387, RECEDING HAIR LINE 5125, 
CHEATER METER MAID 5280, WAKKO 5152, MANDINI 5511, DOT 5156, BELOW DARK 5124, and 
SPRAIN 5195.

             ATTENTION:  ALL MANAGERS WHO ARE ATTENDING THE FACE-TO-FACE

If you plan to attend the Winter Face-to-Face in Phoenix, please let Customer Service 
know.  We will hold your turns for the few days preceding the tourney, starting with 
anything that would mail out on the previous Saturday.  (This means that games due on 
Thursday the 9th (which would mail on Friday) would probably mail to you, but games 
due on the 10th and thereafter will be held and delivered to you at the tournament.  
This way, you won't have to worry about not receiving a critical turn before you 
depart for Newark, and you also don't have to worry about whether you can get a 
reprint before the first turn of the tournament is due.  

See you there! 

                                          RSI