Date   : 08/16/2006    Duedate: 08/29/2006


DM-29    TURN-534

This Weeks Top Honors


(29-4506) [19-5-0,114]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

ARENA FELINES (399)            BLUNT FORCE (393)
(29-4624) [11-4-0,135]         (29-4605) [4-0-0,58]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

LYRA                           LYRA
VENUSIANS (321)                VENUSIANS (321)
(29-4320) [15-11-0,98]         (29-4320) [15-11-0,98]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. CROC FILES (374)            40
2. BLUNT FORCE (393)           26      ARENA FELINES (399)
3. ARENA FELINES (399)         15      Unchartered Team
4. FORCE OF NATURE (312)       14
5. BLACK SAMURAI (166)         14      BLUNT FORCE (393)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 2*BOMBER GALS (409)          9   5  3 64.3   1/ 1 FORCE OF NATURE (312)     9  6 0
 2/ 1 ARENA FELINES (399)       19  12  0 61.3   2/ 2 VENUSIANS (321)           7  8 0
 3/ 0*BLUNT FORCE (393)          8   6  1 57.1   3/ 4 BLACK SAMURAI (166)       6  0 0
 4/ 3 CROC FILES (374)         304 280 20 52.1   4/ 3 CROC FILES (374)          6  9 0
 5/ 4 BLACK SAMURAI (166)      298 283 20 51.3   5/ 6 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)      4  8 0
 6/ 5 VENUSIANS (321)          133 135  7 49.6   6/ 7 ARENA FELINES (399)       3  2 0
 7/ 6 FORCE OF NATURE (312)    165 192 11 46.2   7/ 0*BLUNT FORCE (393)         2  1 0
 8/ 7 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)     307 389  7 44.1   8- 5*BOMBER GALS (409)         2  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ A Crocodile in the Shadows #22 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     Bindi emerged from the water completely and stood to meet the approaching croc.
     "It doesn't look much like you," Vurand repeated.
     Bindi flicked one shoulder in a shrug.  "Our manager made some...changes in our
form, to better fit us for arena work," she said.
     "Will you be able to talk to it?  Uh, I mean, will you have a language in
common?" the orc asked.
     "Probably.  Our own language is..." she frowned and rubbed her forehead, "mostly
we communicated by signs," she said slowly.  "Before T-Hawk made his changes, we had
difficulty speaking anything a human would recognize as words."
     Tyrai snorted.
     Bindi was surprised that she could hear and understand the unspoken comment in
that sound:  that neither of her companions at this time were human.  "You both have
human-type organs of speech," she said.
     "My people...did not, at first," the arenamistress replied.  "Our 'creators' had
not seen the need, any more than they had with your people.  It is my impression that
'They' don't speak with sound at all, among themselves.  It's the only explanation I
can think of for their delay in giving us speech."
     Bindi turned to look at Tyrai.  The shapeshifter's voice had been charged with
emotion, more than the arenamistress had ever displayed in her presence.  Hate.
Tyrai hated the beings who had made the crocs and then the shapeshifters to be their
slaves and tools.  It was an emotion any croc would understand.  But it was dangerous
unless leashed.  Allow hate to control action, and you were no better than a beast.
There was no expression that Bindi could read on Tyrai's face.  Was that a sign of
control, or of hate too deep for simple outlets?  She didn't know.  They would have
to hope that Tyrai had control...enough.
     "Is it male or female?" Vurand asked.  His voice slid across the tension like
soothing oil, which seemed odd coming from an orc.  "Will it matter which?"
     "I don't know this type," Bindi said.  "But usually it doesn't matter.  We are
all dangerous."
     "What a surprise," the orc muttered.  "Can you talk to it?"
     "Yes.  Whether it can talk back, I don't know."
     The strange croc stopped on the other side of the pool, standing as tall as it
could to face them across the water; the quadrupedal lizards crouched at either side.
It made a rumbling sound that Bindi interpreted as warning, and its hands moved in
speaking gestures.

     The big male lunged at Agro.  It had ferocity and fangs, but the gladiator could
see no tactics beyond the "overwhelming-rush."  His mistake.  The skills of a
gladiator might not seem to transfer to hand-to-claw combat in the water, but the
arena had taught him that finesse had its points.  He flipped himself to the side at
the last moment, so that the local croc surged past him.  Not far to the side, they
were flank to flank for a moment, and Agro seized that moment to throw himself on his
adversary's back and grip him around the torso, biting into the nearest shoulder.
     He had forgotten how much tougher a croc's hide was than a warmblood's.  Could
you bruise your teeth?  And the beast was writhing like a serpent, using a muscular
flexibility that Agro no longer had, that he had lost as the price of standing firmly
upright.  And...damn!  That tail was a menace.  Agro locked his legs around it and
let his opponent roll over and over in the water.  He ground his teeth deeper into
the shoulder, groped with his own claws for the other's vulnerable belly.
     The local croc thrashed, then plunged under the surface, going as deeply as the
powerful tail could drive it.  Agro sucked in as much air as he could before he was
dragged under, and hung on.  The local kept twisting and struggling as they went
down.  Good!  He'd be using up his air faster, then.  Agro tightened his grip and
prepared to ride it out.

     "It wants to know who we are and why we're trespassing," Bindi interpreted.
"This is good!"
     "Good?"  Tyrai sounded doubtful.
     "Oh, yeah," Vurand said.  "It is--you're too civilized to remember, maybe.  If
this...person was hostile, it wouldn't be asking who and why, it'd be ordering us
off.  Or attacking without warning."
     "Exactly!" Bindi agreed.  She spoke as she used gestures to tell the story
they'd agreed on, so that her companions could understand, too.  It was true, but
just not all the truth, which would probably be too confusing.  They could go into
the details later.  "We escaped from some dark-souled elves," she said.  "These two
warmbloods are my friends who have helped me reach a place where I can live without
pain.  But I bring a warning.  The elves are coming toward this place in great
numbers, and we believe they mean to kill or enslave all."
     The local croc grunted and began to gesture, which Bindi translated.  "We fled
the River because of the elves and were guided to this place.  If the elves come here
now, there is no other place where we can go, except deeper into the swamp where even
their magic will not let them come."
     "If you run, they will always follow," Bindi responded.  "Better to fight."
     "If we fight, we will die," the local croc said.  "It has always been so."
     "Things can change," Bindi replied.  "Things changed when you left the River for
this place.  You made them change by doing that.  Now make them change again.  Fight
for what is your right, to live in peace here.  Some will die, but some will live,
and the elves will not be so quick to come back if THEY are going to die, too."
     "We have fought them, but no matter how many we pull down, others come.  Many
others together.  We cannot fight when there are many together."
     "You can if you are many crocs working and fighting together, too."
     "That has never been our way."
     "I know, but we must change that.  The warmbloods work together, and it is a
strength for them.  We always keep to ourselves, and it is a weakness."  Bindi
paused, thinking, then added, "When you came here from the River, did you do it one
by one, each alone?"
     "No."  There was a long pause, the native's hands were still.  Finally it went
on, "One came to us when we were hard-pressed along the River.  A warmblood but like
no other we had ever scented.  He advised us to band together to resist our enemies,
but that is not our way.  No one would consider it.  Then he said that if we would
not fight, he knew of an empty place where we could live, and offered to show us the
way.  Many did not trust him.  Why should a warmblood help us?  This has never
happened before.  But the raids against us were growing more numerous and fierce, and
many of our kind were dying.  Some decided that there was little to lose and agreed
to follow him.  I made that terrible journey myself.  There were...more of us than I
could count in that band.  And he brought us here, and asked nothing of us save that
we not attack him, and sometimes...talk to him.  He is a very strange warmblood."
Another pause.  The croc's face was not designed to show expressions, there were no
muscles for that, but the whole body's language suggested puzzlement.  "He would
advise us again to join together and fight, I think."  Another pause.  "Some of us...
might agree.  I don't know how many.  It is radical change.  It is reckless.  We are
not a reckless people."

     His opponent's body stilled.  Agro was not fooled.  It shouldn't be out of air
this quickly; it was trying to trick him.  People had tried to trick him before, and
it would take someone smarter than this near-beast to do it now.  He didn't relax his
     After a moment, the thrashing resumed, but it was weaker.  The beast really was
running out of air now.  That was always the risk, of course, in this kind of fight,
and that's what made the trick work when it did.  Finally it thrust toward the
surface, and much less strongly than it had dived.
     The local croc floated belly up, even after Agro released it.  The beast wasn't
dead, but it expected to be so at any moment.  This was surrender, and a croc who
lost such a fight stood a good chance of being eaten by the victor.
     The desire to do so was strong in Agro, to demonstrate in the most graphic way
that he was the victor and the most dangerous croc present.  He put one hand on the
defeated croc's throat, and flexed his claws.  To kill it now would be easy.
     To kill it now would be the act of a lower animal.  A mindless beast.  To do it
now...would confirm every warmblood's belief in the essential bestiality of the
crocs.  It would also make forming an alliance among these crocs impossible.  He
might be able to dominate a group with terror of his strength and his fangs, but he
could not hold them together that way.  It was one of the things that his manager had
said, long ago when the training in Lapur first began.  Terror is a frayed leash, and
strength only a tool.
     Agro didn't want to believe that, but he had seen the truth of it in his years
in the human cities of Ghea.  He nudged his opponent, rolling him over.  "You're a
good fighter," he said.  "Live.  We'll need good fighters when the dark-elven army
gets here."
     The croc twisted in the water and made the grunting sounds that were the closest
it could come to speech.  It swam to the edge of the pool and pulled itself out onto
the muddy shore.  Its hands moved, scorn and anger in the gestures.  "That is
warmblood thinking!  If the warmbloods come here, we will go deeper into the swamp
and they will not find us."
     "They will have mages," Agro said.  "They will find you.  And every croc they
find will die or be captured."
     Another croc, one that looked much older, came down to the shore and slapped at
the vanquished fighter with its tail.  "You know the way of the hunter," its gestures
said.  "We are all hunters, and we know.  What runs, we chase.  The warmbloods are
hunters, too.  If we run, they will chase us."
     "If we don't run, they will kill us.  It has always been so."
     "You have less wit than a hatchling.  You--"
     "We have always moved away when the warmbloods came hunting in large groups.  It
is tradition.  It has served us well."
     "That tradition has NOT served us well.  If we had not broken tradition to trust
the warmblood who brought us here, if we had not broken tradition to travel in a band
of bands, helping each other over the Dry Hell, we would all be dead."  The old one
looked up at Agro.  "What do you suggest, stranger?"
     "That the crocs of this place band together and fight the dark-elves.  The
warmbloods find strength in working together.  Why should we not do that also?"
     "It is strange thinking," the old one signed.  "Many will reject it because it
is not traditional, like this young fool.  But some..." its shoulder twitched in a
shrug, "some might be willing to try.  Those of us who are here already broke
tradition to come.  But it has been many seasons, and some," it slapped at the
defeated croc again, "have forgotten."  It paused, then gestured slowly, "I am
called:" a grunt of sound that might be a name.  "Horch."  Again the gestures, "This
lackwit is:" another grunt, "Garm."

                                      SPY REPORT

     Ready for some action-packed adventure, some thrills, chills and spills?  Well 
fergit it, cause this is the Spyreport for LAPUR.  MVP award for THE IRON LUNG?  
BLUNT FORCE's proud of it after beating CARINA and getting 19 points.  Talk about yer 
big time losers!  TIGER LILY got smashed by CONNIE, and lost 14 points!  Oh, wow, 
like the Duelmaster must be the most popular guy in all LAPUR.  He got the most 
challenges.  (But what about proposals?) Don't you think the Duelmaster is being 
unfair?  I think MACHIGAI should let LYRA be Duelmaster for a while, without fighting 
about it.  I hear the top team insists all their warriors get nine hours sleep.  They 
want photogenic fighters for PR photos.   
     AAARRGH!!!  I HATE SPYREPORTING!!!  Sorry.  I just had to say it.  VENUSIANS was 
LAPUR's most avoided team.  Is there some award for that?  Hhmph!  What kind of 
warriors are BLACK SAMURAI?  VENUSIANS, an easy team to beat if I ever saw one, can't 
get them to accept an invitation!  I'm not so sure SUE NAMI knew all the facts when 
she challenged YEAR OF THE CAT of ARENA FELINES.  I saw SUE NAMI stumbling and 
dribbling at The Burning Tree last week...  What did SUE NAMI expect, anyway!  Of 
course YEAR OF THE CAT won.  Next time stick to people you have a chance against, 
dummy!  People were asking me did LUCY REALLY challenge CEZZARO?  (all right, maybe 
they didn't, but it sounded good!) It wasn't a spectacular fight, or anything, but 
CEZZARO wants me to write about it since he was beat by LUCY.  Satisfied?   
     What does a fighter fight for?  I mean, the crowds don't give a hoot if someone 
gets killed.  Not after four more fights.  Hey you guys, don't you think your 
families would like to hear from you?  Write!  (Or have someone write for you.)  
     Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain.  Soak it in cold water, and hand 
wash.  I'm getting tired of writing this stuff, so I'm calling it quits.  Its been 
really albendranius!  Later, guys-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MACHIGAI 4506                19   5  0   114       BLACK SAMURAI (166)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 YEAR OF THE CAT 4624         11   4  0   135       ARENA FELINES (399)
 LYRA 4320                    15  11  0    98       VENUSIANS (321)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MURRY 4638                   15  24  0    86       CROC FILES (374)
 SUE NAMI 4097                14  20  0    83       FORCE OF NATURE (312)
 DOWN POUR 4323                9  12  0    82       FORCE OF NATURE (312)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MIGHTY MOUSER 4621            6   4  0    66       ARENA FELINES (399)
-KOJIRO 4456                  14   9  1    63       BLACK SAMURAI (166)
 CONNIE 4716                  10   5  1    63       CROC FILES (374)
 SOLAR FLARE 4427             10   8  0    58       VENUSIANS (321)
 HYDROPONICUS 4605             4   0  0    58       BLUNT FORCE (393)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SNOWSHOE 4712                11   8  0    52       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 ASTRIAL 4328                  9  11  1    50       VENUSIANS (321)
-JUNIBAN 4599                 15   4  0    49       BLACK SAMURAI (166)
 LADYBUG 4709                 12   7  0    49       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 TIGER LILY 4732               6   3  0    41       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 AMIE 4718                     5   6  1    40       CROC FILES (374)
 WHIRLWIND 4325                8  14  0    38       FORCE OF NATURE (312)
 MENSA 4442                    8   8  1    35       VENUSIANS (321)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WEIPA 4726                    4   5  1    28       CROC FILES (374)
-BIG BERTHA 4728               3   0  1    27       BOMBER GALS (409)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ZERO VISABILITY 4495          5   6  0    23       FORCE OF NATURE (312)
-AKUMU 4674                    4   3  0    22       BLACK SAMURAI (166)
 CEZZARO 4719                  4   7  0    19       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
-GREEN DRAGON 4729             3   0  0    19       BOMBER GALS (409)
 THE IRON LUNG 4667            1   0  0    19       BLUNT FORCE (393)
-POKI-GAL 4731                 1   1  1    16       BOMBER GALS (409)
 LUCY 4754                     1   1  0    16       CROC FILES (374)
 STICKET 4751                  3   1  0    14       FORCE OF NATURE (312)
-CYBORG 420 4547               1   0  0     9       BLUNT FORCE (393)
 CARINA 4749                   2   2  0     8       VENUSIANS (321)
 DAIHACHI 4750                 1   1  0     7       BLACK SAMURAI (166)
-MS MANNERS 4730               1   2  0     5       BOMBER GALS (409)
 BIG BAD CAT 4623              1   1  0     4       ARENA FELINES (399)
 DR. STRANGELEAF 4659          0   1  0     1       BLUNT FORCE (393)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
MAD PUMA 4620          0  1 0 ARENA FELINES 399     DARK CHAMPION 389     534 NONE    
HORIKAO 4748           0  1 0 BLACK SAMURAI 166     WEIPA 4726            530 REVENGED
ILL OMEN 4494          4  3 1 FORCE OF NATURE 312   ASTRIAL 4328          530 REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Amie -- Ah, the shame of it...for you.  To waste your enormous crocodilian teeth on a
mere... Ladybug

Down Pour -- Remind me to change my name and specialty to "Galoshes." -- Showshoe

Whirlwind -- Ah, careful!  You'll make yourself dizzy. -- Tiger Lily
P.S.  I've often thought that when watching a dustdevil whirl and lurch across the

Astrial -- For some reason, I'm seeing stars in front of my eyes. -- Cezzaro
P.S.  And elsewhere.

Whirlwind -- Yes, the "windswept" look is In. -- Ladybug

Zero -- Damn straight!  I have no business being ranked this high! -- Tiger Lily

Big Bertha -- Eh? -- the Scribe

11 August 2006
All -- I support Vendetta Cartel's observation of The Dark Knights!  If war is
declared on V.C. by The Dark Knights, then war is also declared on The Dark Knights
of the Desolate Empire by The Avengers of Light!  We have been quietly awaiting such
a chance to expose ourselves (all interested parties contact me c/o The Barbarians:
DM 31, Attn: Timothias)!  Come, Vendetta Cartel, let us show these broke-down
"Knights" what true warriors are! -- Gemini Goldphoenix, Overlord of The Avengers of

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

MAD PUMA was dealt death by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
SUE NAMI was vanquished by YEAR OF THE CAT in a 1 minute uneven Challenge battle.
CONNIE demolished TIGER LILY in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
LUCY bested CEZZARO in a 2 minute novice vs. veteran upset Challenge fight.
MACHIGAI unbelievably bested LYRA in a popular 2 minute expert's Title brawl.
DOWN POUR devastated SOLAR FLARE in a 1 minute mismatched match.
MURRY viciously subdued PENNILESS LORD in a action packed 3 minute expert's fight.
LADYBUG vanquished WHIRLWIND in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
ASTRIAL slimly won victory over AMIE in a 2 minute gory duel.
MENSA was savagely defeated by SNOWSHOE in a 2 minute gruesome match.
HYDROPONICUS overpowered WEIPA in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
ZERO VISABILITY subdued BIG BAD CAT in a 1 minute master vs. amateur competition.
STICKET subdued PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a unpopular 4 minute novice's brawl.
CARINA was handily defeated by THE IRON LUNG in a 1 minute uneven fight.
DAIHACHI defeated DR. STRANGELEAF in a 2 minute beginner's struggle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  6         STRIKING ATTACK   26 -  15 -  1      63  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   5         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -   3 -  0      57  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         SLASHING ATTACK   13 -  10 -  0      57  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         AIMED BLOW        16 -  13 -  0      55  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         BASHING ATTACK    13 -  11 -  2      54  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         TOTAL PARRY       12 -  12 -  0      50  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         LUNGING ATTACK    22 -  23 -  4      49  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         WALL OF STEEL     14 -  22 -  1      39  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -   2 -  0      33  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 534 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      3 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  3         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    4 -  2     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         2  SLASHING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         2 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  TOTAL PARRY    
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  2         1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      MACHIGAI 4506              19   5  0  114 BLACK SAMURAI (166)
STRIKING ATTACK  YEAR OF THE CAT 4624       11   4  0  135 ARENA FELINES (399)
LUNGING ATTACK   LYRA 4320                  15  11  0   98 VENUSIANS (321)
SLASHING ATTACK  SOLAR FLARE 4427           10   8  0   58 VENUSIANS (321)
AIMED BLOW       HYDROPONICUS 4605           4   0  0   58 BLUNT FORCE (393)
WALL OF STEEL    LADYBUG 4709               12   7  0   49 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is LYRA 4320.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
LYRA 4320.  The ten other most popular fighters were MURRY 4638, LUCY 4754, SNOWSHOE 
4712, DAIHACHI 4750, CONNIE 4716, MACHIGAI 4506, ASTRIAL 4328, AMIE 4718, 

The least popular fighter this week was STICKET 4751.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were CARINA 4749, WEIPA 4726, MENSA 4442, WHIRLWIND 4325, TIGER LILY 4732, 
SUE NAMI 4097, SOLAR FLARE 4427, DOWN POUR 4323, CEZZARO 4719, and MAD PUMA 4620.