Date   : 01/14/2009    Duedate: 01/27/2009


DM-29    TURN-597

This Weeks Top Honors


(29-4948) [23-17-2,115]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

CELADUS                        DEATHWIND FORGE
EQUESTORS (158)                CLAN CROW (456)
(29-4948) [23-17-2,115]        (29-5283) [3-1-0,27]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

RED BULL                       VINDOCOMUS
CARDOW HUNTERS (359)           EQUESTORS (158)
(29-5062) [20-10-0,89]         (29-5251) [5-4-0,27]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. EQUESTORS (158)             45
2. METAL MINCERS (256)         42      BOHICA (449)
3. CLAN CROW (456)             41      Unchartered Team
4. MID EARTH (223)             29
5. VENUSIANS (321)             19      CLAN CROW (456)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 BOHICA (449)              34  18  0 65.4   1/ 1 MID EARTH (223)          10  5 2
 2/ 2 BLUNT FORCE (393)         20  11  3 64.5   2/ 4 METAL MINCERS (256)       9  3 0
 3/ 3 METAL MINCERS (256)      554 366 12 60.2   3/ 3 VENUSIANS (321)           9  6 0
 4/ 4 STREET WALKERS (97)      526 355 44 59.7   4/ 5 STREET WALKERS (97)       8  6 1
 5/ 5 MID EARTH (223)          439 391 19 52.9   5/ 2 CROC FILES (374)          7  8 0
 6- 7*2008 (450)                14  14  1 50.0   6/ 6 BOHICA (449)              6  4 0
 7/ 9 EQUESTORS (158)          711 754 51 48.5   7/11*CLAN CROW (456)           6  8 0
 8/ 8 CROC FILES (374)         412 437 28 48.5   8/12 EQUESTORS (158)           6  9 0
 9/10 VENUSIANS (321)          278 303 15 47.8   9/13 FORCE OF NATURE (312)     5  9 1
10/11 FORCE OF NATURE (312)    304 358 22 45.9  10/ 7 X-MEN (78)                5 10 1
11/12 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)     459 544 10 45.8  11/ 8 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)      5 10 0
12/13 X-MEN (78)                47  62  9 43.1  12-10*2008 (450)                4  0 0
13/14*CLAN CROW (456)            8  11  0 42.1  13/ 9 BLUNT FORCE (393)         4  4 1
14-15*APPLICANTS 2 (457)         2   6  0 25.0  14-15*APPLICANTS 2 (457)        1  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

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                 A Few Metal Mincer Votes For Lapurian Annual Awards

     O.K. O.K.!  We'll place some votes for the annual Lapurian awards.  But we can't
decide on everything listed.  The old miner-codger simply won't agree with his
talented and beautiful wife, so only where we can agree will I post our votes for The
Metal Mincers.  Married life is the pits some times, but The Borgmaster does have one
or two good traits.  Well, I think so.  Anyway, our votes:
     Favorite Manager & Team - Roadkill and StreetWalkers
     Most Challenged team - Equesters
     Most Avoided Team - tie - Street Walkers and Mid Earth
     Best Team Name - Bohica
     Best Warrior Name - Nailin' Palin (just because Oremaster wants to--the goat!)
     Worst Team Name - 2008
     Best Personals Street Walkers

                  Ora (who would like to nail Obama)

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                       Lapurian Award Nominations from Bohica

Best Duelmaster:  Brickhouse.
Worst Duelmaster:  Enyalius, who ironically became Duelmaster by beating Brickhouse.
Favorite Manager:  Roadkill, funny, clever, and can dish an insult like nobody else
     in Lapur.
Most Disliked Manager:  Scion, who went into hiding immediately after killing Got
     Milk.  I'm not saying he's a chicken or anything but brawk brawk brawk brawk!
Most Avoided Team:  Will Duel 4 Mead, they like to kill every opponent every turn and
     their warriors are very good.
Most Challenged Team:  Venusians, they always seem to have someone next to one of my
     warriors.  Unfortunately, my record against them is mediocre at best.
Best Team Name:  Will Duel 4 Mead
Worst Team Name:  2008, I've had better years.
Best Warrior Name:  Hootchy Coocher
Worst Warrior Name:  Guat
Best Personals Writer:  Jorja.  Sporkis is a close 2nd.
Best Spotlight Writer:  Gavin Rule.  Jorja is a close 2nd.
Marcus Award:  Amie
Ahringol's Apprentice Award:  Will Duel 4 Mead
Best AB:  Kyra, 75% win percentage and beat Brickhouse.
Best BA:  Celadus
Best PL:  Tie--Callisto and Cuddle Me Tender (and despite the 33 FE to 11 FE
differential, they split their two head-to-head meetings)
Best PR:  Mad Jack, dangerous.  Can't say I miss him!
Best PS:  Turtle
Best LU:  Fhrain, there were several good ones, but Fhrain is the one I'd least want
     to fight.
Best SL:  Urd, tough call but like above, Urd is the one I'd least like to fight.
Best ST:  Tie--Mossman and Red Bull.  Mossman flew through the arena and graduated
quickly but Red Bull seems unbeatable right now; too tough to call.
Best TP:  Brickhouse
Best WS:  Solar Eruption
Bonnie Award:  Brickhouse, this was a hard decision because there were many great
stylemasters.  Ultimately, I gave the nod to Brickhouse because of her longevity on
the throne.

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                      Mid Earth Votes in 2008 Lapurian Awards:

Best Duelmaster - Brickhouse - Landslide winner here I am sure.
Worst Duelmaster - Murry - Another possible landslide winner here.
Favorite Manager or Team - Cardow Hunters - Jorja and her crew have some of the worst
luck, but they always give you a good fight.
Most Disliked Manager or Team - Blood Knights - Dang tourney team probably.
Most Avoided Team - Will Duel 4 Mead - They kill a more often than I like, so they
tend too be avoided when nearby.
Most Challenged Team - None - Other than trying too get a challenge though too
Brickhouse, I didn't challenge that much this past year.
Best Team Name - Street Walkers - Roadkill and his girls get the nod this year.
Worst Team Name - 2008 - Probably a tourney team, they get the nod for no
Best Warrior Name - Josie Wails - I hated too see her get killed by one of my own
warriors no less.  Rest in peace Josie we miss you.
Worst Warrior Name - Meat Popsicle - Need I say more.
Best Personals Writer - Sporkis - His rantings still makes me laugh.
Best Spotlight Writer - Uncle Wolf - Gets my vote from again this year.
The Marcus Award - Amie - I thought she would never get outta here.
Ahringol's Apprentice Award - Street Walkers - It seemed like every fifth warrior
that died this year was on there team or was killed by one of them.
The Bonnie Award - Red Bull - Brickhouse would have been the easy choice, but I am
looking at all around. I almost gave it too Urd, but Red Bull impressed me a little

Aimed Blow - Mad Dog Montana - No Comment, don't want too jinx her.
Bashing - Celadus - Chosen from several tough Bashers this year.
Lunging - Platinum Peener - Dang borg was too faster for my guys.
Parry Lunge - Callisto - Only one that had been able to survive this long.
Parry Riposte - None 
Parry Strike - Turtle - One tough Piker.
Slashing - Urd - Fast and deadly a scary combination.
Striking - Red Bull - Faster than fast can be.
Wall of Steel - Solar Eruption - Tough and deadly.
Total Parry - Brickhouse - Though she is lucky as hell and she kept Aronwe from the
title, she still dominated the arena for 2 solid months. 

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Edge of Night #27 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     The woods were as silent as their progress along the road had been.  No one
spoke.  Nothing called out from the darkness under the trees.  Only the clop of
hooves on frozen ground, the brush of their clothing against the bushes they rode
through could be heard, and those sounds did not disturb the silence.  The stream
beside them flowed without ripple or voice.  It seemed to Math op Owain that even
time was at a standstill here.  How long had they ridden through these woods, beside
this stream?  It might have been forever.  Anything other than the winter-bound woods
began to seem unreal, just a dream he'd had once of warmth and life.
     Suddenly, as though the close-growing trees were a curtain that had parted,
there was a lake in front of them.  Black water still as a mirror, rimmed with trees,
under a steel-colored sky.  In its way, Math found this lake as uncanny and
disturbing as the Silent Place near Zuwayza where they'd found the Dark Stranger.
What was this place to Lord Malcorn?  He shivered and waited to see what would happen
     Very little, to begin with.  Lord Malcorn rode out in front of them and
dismounted, walking to the edge of the water.  In this light he seemed larger,
different in some way the Murskan found hard to pinpoint.  More... mythic, maybe.  He
called out in a loud voice, speaking no language Math had ever heard.  The words
rolled across the water and into some great distance.
     Math shook himself.  What distance?  The lake wasn't more than half a mile
across, and there was another wall of trees beyond it!  And how could Lord Malcorn,
affectionately known to his subjects as Blackie, be mythic?  This forest was playing
tricks on his mind.
     Nothing happened, that Math could see or hear, but Uncle Wolf muttered something
just too quietly for him to make out, and the Dark Stranger backed up--  No, the
Stranger's mount backed up, with the rider barely holding it from bolting.  Something
glittered above the lake and then came hurtling out of that unreal distance into
which Malcorn's voice had gone.
     The prince put up his hand caught... whatever it was out of the air, tucking it
away out of sight under his cloak.  He turned and mounted his big horse.  "We can go
now," he said, and his voice was almost normal again.  Almost.

     Blackwind looked at the clearing, at the stone in the clearing, and he didn't
like anything about it.  Even in this cold weather, it smelled of old blood.  He
looked more closely at the stone.  And blood not so old.  Some of the stains were dry
but not faded or weathered.  He glanced over his shoulder at Redfox.  "We need a
different plan," he said.
     The Rirorni gladiator shook his head.  "We don't have time to make a new plan.
Go with the old one."
     Blackwind opened his mouth to argue further, then shut it.  There was movement
in the woods beyond the stone, and he didn't think it was the Croc who was their
backup.  He remembered his manager's advice:  Never argue in front of an enemy.
There weren't likely to be any unexpected friends in these woods tonight.
     A shadow came out of the trees.  It remained a shadow even in the moonlight.
Its shape was vague, but not human.  It swirled and wavered and slowly seemed to...
pull itself together.  Take on substance and form.  Not human, but something modeled-
-badly--on the human frame.  After a few minutes, it found a voice.  "You have
brought me blood, warm blood, that is good.  But there should be fear and pain as
well.  Make it so."
     "No.  If I have to feed you, I will, but I won't do the dirty work for you,"
Blackwind said.  This thing was a travesty, a joke, how could it frighten anyone?
Clumsy and whining.
     More minutes passed.  Perhaps no one had ever defied it before, and it had to
figure out how to respond.  "I could take you both."
     "You can't do it without permission," the Murskan guessed, "or you would have
done it already.  And I don't give you permission."  He could see Agro moving up
behind it.
     "Everyone who comes here and brings me blood wants something.  A bargain.  What
do you want from me?  What is your price?"
     If the thing had put it some other way, Blackwind might have gone through with
the plan.  They said everyone had a price, but his price wasn't the life of another
man.  "Who allows you freedom to take blood here or elsewhere?"
     "None command me.  Only bargains--"
     "Who have you bargained with for this freedom, and what did you pay?"  The thing
seemed stupid, and maybe it would answer without the blood-price.  It was worth a
     "A demon lord--Arhazul.  Greedy!  It demanded half the blood.  Half!  When I do
the work.  But I keep all the fear."  The shadow that formed it flowed toward a new
shape, some insane combination of animal parts, tigers, wolves, bears.  "You have not
offered me fear.  I must have it.  And the blood.  Make the sacrifice now, or I will
take it!"
     "Not without permission."
     "Not you.  But the other one is bound, that is enough.  You intend the other one
for sacrifice, and I will not wait longer."  The shape snapped into solidity and
lunged at Redfox.

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                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 609): KEEL HAULER of SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 611): SETH of FORCE OF FIVE (Doctor Doom, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 605): ZIRCON of STARBASE 5 (Zeus, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 607): BUDOKUMO of YAMABUSHI (Doc Miracle, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 605): QUINTUS of FIELDS OF ELYSIUM (Caesar, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 603): JACK HAMMA of FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 302): OPASAN of PHANTACITY (Omega, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 596): RED BULL of CARDOW HUNTERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 299): BEDLAM of CHAOS (Lord of Chaos, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 593): EASTER GUARDIAN of SARATOGA GLORY (The Trainer, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 582): ANGUS ARGUS of CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 544): J'KOROU of THE FAMILY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 277): BOLI of OF WOLF & MAN (Tripwire, mgr.)
 DM  47 DOUBLE X (turn 271): SISTER MERCY of OLD HABITS (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 258): EXTRUSION of LIFE IMPACTS (Smitty, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 472): MOSSIE ROCKTROLL of INCONSISTENT FURY (Banthius, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 459): ENIGMA XXV of DEATH STUDS XII (Death Stud, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 442): XAVAN YOLE of MIDDLE WAY 16 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 435): ROPE MAN of MIGHTY HEROES (Hombre, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 207): GAFFER SMITH of BAD APPLES (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAYLA KIV (turn 403): DOLBY KLEE of SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 397): FOOTSTEPS of PARANOID ASYLUM (Jekyll, mgr.)
 DM  78 LIN TIRIAN (turn 381): RED COULTER of SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 497): SISTER X of CULTS-R-US (?, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 609): SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 611): DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 605): DARK CREATION (Herbert Philip Lovecraft West, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 607): GOLDEN GLADIATORS (Midas, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 605): MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 603): FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 302): THE PENTARCHY (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 596): MID EARTH (Visionist, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 299): LORDS OF VALHALLA (High Lord Bosk, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 593): SARATOGA GLORY (The Trainer, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 591): RAVAGING LORDS (General Ikillu, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 582): CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 544): DEVILED HAM (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 577): NOSTALGIA (Crow, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 258): LIFE IMPACTS (Smitty, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 472): INCONSISTENT FURY (Banthius, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 459): DEATH STUDS XII (Death Stud, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 442): MIDDLE WAY 16 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 465): SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 207): MONGOL HORDE (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAYLA KIV (turn 403): CORPS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 397): SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  78 LIN TIRIAN (turn 381): SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 497): TRECK PEOPLE et al (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 610): CAELUM of FORCE OF FIVE (Doctor Doom, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 604): BOSS of STARBASE 5 (Zeus, mgr.)
                            THULE of DARK CREATIONS (H.P.L. West, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 603): JACK HAMMA of FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 302): LE PLON of THE PENTARCHY (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
                          VELVET FINISH of STEEL AND SILK (Michael Eldritch, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 595): PLATINUM PEENER of METAL MINCERS (Oremaster, mgr.)
                          CHROME CRIMPER of METAL MINCERS (Oremaster, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 299): BEDLAM of CHAOS (Lord of Chaos, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 592): LUCRETIUS of ROMAN HEROES (Caesar, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 581): PATRICE of CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 543): SELINSIA of THE FAMILY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 276): AUNTY ENTITY of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
                               YUFFIE of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 DOUBLE X (turn 271): SISTER MERCY of OLD HABITS (Soultaker, mgr.)
                             MAGIC WAND of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
                             BOQ of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 471): TWIG LITE ZONE of INCONSISTENT FURY (Banthius, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 434): MERRO DOSH of SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 397): FOOTSTEPS of PARANOID ASYLUM (Jekyll, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Well, what are you looking at, LAPUR?  Ain't you never seen Snide Clemens 
before?  Ah, shaddup and listen to my news.  Now keep the taverns open late tonight, 
for there are sorrows to drown for BLUNT FORCE, whose 2-2-1 this turn dropped them by 
4 into 13th.  Ha!  CLAN CROW turned their 3-2-0 turn into a 7th place rank in the 
listings this turn.  Any better than this, and you get put on hit lists.  Now let's 
all watch EQUESTORS' heads swell from their 4-1-0 this turn.  Haa ha ha ha!  Big 
shots, big talk, big deal.  Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see LUHAR win 
a fight and gain 27 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, DEADLY ASSASSIN beat HYDROPONICUS 
and HYDROPONICUS lost 35 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  And it's out with the 
old, in with the new, as CELADUS takes the Title and last week's bar tab from the old 
Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  The Burning Tree, humph!  I've tasted better ale at 
mortuaries.  Where do they get this stuff?  From LAPUR's trash dumps?   
     He who fights and runs away will live to fight another day, the coward.  CARDOW 
HUNTERS, I suppose you'll be glad to know you were this turn's most avoided team.  
Care to know who is the most afraid of you?  And who led the way in this mass act of 
cowardice?  Let's see, well, whatcha know?  It was BOHICA.  Ha ha ha ha!  SILVER SAW 
was challenged more times this turn than the Duelmaster.  Now was the DM insulted or 
feared?  Heh, heh.  I guess I can give a little credit to NORMAN of CROC FILES for 
challenging up by 25 to ATRIA.  NORMAN lost to get 31 points of recognition.  And we 
have CUDDLE ME TENDER in a challenge, going down 11 points for the fight.  Guess 
what?  I thought CUDDLE ME TENDER showed great skill and promise when she won victory 
over MAD DOG.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Ah, now we come to my favorite part, where we see all the guys who are dead and 
gone, and get to see if their team cared.  And what a stunning loss we have here, 
boys and girls, WEIPA of CROC FILES has added the final loss to his 17-32-2.  Tee 
hee!  Bye bye, warrior, bye bye...  STORM, a glorious 16-13-3 fighter, has passed 
away.  Gee, too bad X-MEN.  You can run, LUHAR, but maybe you can't hide from X-MEN.  
Killing STORM is something the rest of MID EARTH may not be able to help you with.  
Not that I'll be buying the drinks, but I'll be glad to see FHRAIN and MID EARTH at 
The Burning Tree tonight celebrating their bloodfeud victory over CYBORG 420.  A big 
yahoo goes out to DEATHWIND FORGE this turn, for revenging CLAN CROW's bloodfeud 
against MID EARTH's warrior GILAN.  Heh, heh, heh.  It's about time BISHOP got beat 
for picking on warriors like A.A. SHOCK.  Bravo, FORCE OF NATURE.  See you at The 
Burning Tree.  Honor is like a chainmail shirt, it only shines through use.  Certain 
nameless cowards will doubtless rebuke me on this one.   
     There's got to be a better place in LAPUR to get a drink than The Burning Tree!  
Any suggestions?  Well, I've had enough of this drivel, and I'm sure you have too.  
Off like a dirty shirt of padded leather.  I see the crowds are getting restless, I 
must leave now-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CELADUS 4948                 23  17  2   115       EQUESTORS (158)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MAD DOG MONTANA 4984         19  16  5   107       STREET WALKERS (97)
 FHRAIN 5124                  14   6  2   101       MID EARTH (223)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DAISY CHAINS 5096            13  11  0    95       STREET WALKERS (97)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RED BULL 5062                20  10  0    89       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 CALLISTO 5036                17  17  2    87       VENUSIANS (321)
-SCRUFFY PUFF 5207             8   3  0    86       BOHICA (449)
 GLAUCO 5102                  14  12  1    78       EQUESTORS (158)
 HYDROPONICUS 4605             7   2  0    75       BLUNT FORCE (393)
 LITERNIUS 5049               15  18  1    74       EQUESTORS (158)
 COPPER COMPACTER 5092        12   8  0    74       METAL MINCERS (256)
 CUDDLE ME TENDER 5205        10   2  0    69       BOHICA (449)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HORN ROCK 5113               11  14  0    66       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 LUHAR 5244                    7   3  2    66       MID EARTH (223)
 COLOSSUS 556                 14  17  4    65       X-MEN (78)
-INCONEL INDENTER 4324         7   2  1    65       METAL MINCERS (256)
 A.A. SHOCK 5054              12  19  1    61       FORCE OF NATURE (312)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ATRIA 5101                   13  13  1    56       VENUSIANS (321)
 MAD DOG 5125                 12  11  0    56       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 STARRY NITE 5186             10   6  0    56       FORCE OF NATURE (312)
 ILLYRIA 5149                 12   8  0    55       VENUSIANS (321)
 NEEDS SALT 5206               6   1  0    50       BOHICA (449)
 CLOUDSHADOW 5154             13   7  0    47       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 RED HOT CHILI 5202            5   3  0    44       BOHICA (449)
-THE IRON LUNG 4667            3   0  0    39       BLUNT FORCE (393)
 OCCY 5160                     9  10  0    37       CROC FILES (374)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CYBORG 420 4547               3   1  1    33       BLUNT FORCE (393)
 NORMAN 5208                   7   7  0    31       CROC FILES (374)
 LUCY 5253                     4   5  0    31       CROC FILES (374)
 ICE SHARD 5191                6   9  1    30       FORCE OF NATURE (312)
 FELICIA 1693                  5   2  1    28       STREET WALKERS (97)
 VINDOCOMUS 5251               5   4  0    27       EQUESTORS (158)
 DEATHWIND FORGE 5283          3   1  0    27       CLAN CROW (456)
 BISHOP 5300                   2   2  1    27       X-MEN (78)
 DANG IT DEBBIE 5217           6   4  0    25       STREET WALKERS (97)
 DR. STRANGELEAF 4659          4   2  1    24       BLUNT FORCE (393)
 SMACK O'MALLEY 5282           1   2  0    24       CLAN CROW (456)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GILAN 5242                    6   4  1    23       MID EARTH (223)
 SILVER SAW 5287               3   2  0    23       METAL MINCERS (256)
 ENCOLPIUS 5268                5   2  0    20       EQUESTORS (158)
-LEAP YEAR 5299                2   0  0    20       2008 (450)
 CHROME CUTTER 5316            1   0  0    19       METAL MINCERS (256)
 MEAT POPSICLE 5309            2   1  0    17       BOHICA (449)
 SOLAR RADIATION 5308          2   1  0    16       VENUSIANS (321)
-DECEMBER 5307                 1   0  0    15       2008 (450)
 DARK UNCLE 2168               2   6  0    12       X-MEN (78)
 IRON IMPACTER 5315            1   0  0    11       METAL MINCERS (256)
 DIGGER 5278                   2   2  0    10       CROC FILES (374)
 EMPEROR BONG 5314             1   0  0    10       BLUNT FORCE (393)
-JANUARY 5305                  1   0  0    10       2008 (450)
-STACY GOO 5297                2   2  0     8       APPLICANTS 2 (457)
 ALHENA 5291                   1   4  0     8       VENUSIANS (321)
 HARRY CANE 5267               1   5  0     8       FORCE OF NATURE (312)
 BRAN MCRAVEN 5311             1   1  0     6       CLAN CROW (456)
 LUCKY EIREANN 5285            1   3  0     6       CLAN CROW (456)
-SEPTEMBER 5306                1   0  0     5       2008 (450)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NAILIN' PALIN 5302            1   2  0     5       STREET WALKERS (97)
-PURPLE TAO 5294               0   4  0     4       APPLICANTS 2 (457)
 MISTY WATERS 5313             0   1  0     1       FORCE OF NATURE (312)
 KUAN-YIN XORN 5312            0   1  0     1       X-MEN (78)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
GOT MILK 5203           3  8 0 BOHICA 449           CRABBY ABBIE 5252     594   
FIREBOW 5279            0  7 0 CARDOW HUNTERS 359   ICE SHARD 5191        597   
AISLING OF SLEIG 5284   1  1 0 CLAN CROW 456        GILAN 5242            595  JUST REVENGED
IRE MACLEER 5310        1  1 0 CLAN CROW 456        DR. STRANGELEAF 4659  597   
WEIPA 4793             17 33 2 CROC FILES 374       MAD DOG MONTANA 4984  597   
LOU NER-ECLIPSE 5292    2  1 0 FORCE OF NATURE 312  BISHOP 5300           595  JUST REVENGED
GLURB 5304              1  2 0 MID EARTH 223        RIVER MONSTER         597  NONE
MORDUH 5303             1  2 0 MID EARTH 223        SHEWISH GIANT         597  NONE
NILITH 5243             2  5 0 MID EARTH 223        CYBORG 420 4547       594  JUST REVENGED
STORM 553              16 14 3 X-MEN 78             LUHAR 5244            597   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Red Bull -- Congratulations on The DM Title.  You deserve it. -- Ora

Aye, Bull.  Ye dast. -- Oremaster

Scruffy Puff -- But I was avoiding you.  Who did you pay.......?  Well, I have to
admit you are the better fighter. -- Copper Compacter

Blurb -- Hah!  Sliced yuh!  Glurbed yuh!  Sawed yuh silly! -- Silver Saw

Celadus -- To the victor goes the spoils, which included one last Duelmaster win. --
Platinum Peeber

Red Bull -- I didn't have it.  You did. -- Chrome Crimper

Hopin' to see some of you at The Face. -- Ora and What's His Name

Yep.  Gonna havta nail ole Ora ta shut 'er up.  Aye. -- Oremaster

Encolpius -- Wore me out just watching you.  I'm not scum I swear...just a little
clumsy! -- Dark Uncle

Illyria -- Thanks for the lesson.  ouch.

Weipa -- I was at least hoping for some skills...stingy so and so.

A.A. Shock -- I hope I didn't hurt your "thinking" hand.

Horn Rock -- I've missed you!  *wink* -- Cuddles

Red Bull -- Congrats on the throne and all the other awards! -- Scruffy

Copper Compacter -- It's okay to cry.  I cry sometimes.  *sniffle* -- Scruffy

Roadkill -- Welcome back!  Hope you're here a long, long time! -- Scruffy

Crabby Abbie -- I hope you have a good reason for killing one of my warriors and then
sitting out the following two turns.  I'll give Scion the benefit of the doubt, for
now.  But if you're not back soon, I'm taking off my belt. -- Scruffy

A little late but Congrats to Platinum Peener and Chrome Crimper on your invites. --
Roadkill and the Street Walkers

Liternius -- I survive another fight.......thank you, thank you. -- Mad Dog Montana

Lucky Eireann -- Learning skills must be the lucky part, because attacking sure
isn't.  If I did better damage, I wouldn't have been on the least popular list...
ok, yeah I probably would have anyways. -- Felicia
P.S.  I think I need another name for this arena, obviously Roadkill had a major
block when I gave me my arena.....Felicia the Ferocious.....yeah I like that one.

How about Felicia the Feeble-Minded. -- Roadkill

Stacy Goo -- Now I realize why they call you Stacy Goo....It's gonna take days to get
this stuff off.  -- Nailin' Palin ;)

Glauco -- Sorry friend you just got mixed up the the win one--lose one cycle I love
so much.  If you challenge me this turn, you'll win because I stink. -- Daisy

Luhar -- I got lucky the first time, you spanked me the second (contrary to the
rumors, I do NOT like getting spanked).....just another step closer to the DA I
guess. -- Debbie

To all new mangers and warriors -- Don't be shy, the Metal Mincers and the Consortium
Managers are some of the best in the game.  I learn just by fighting them.  If you
were going to make a list of the top 5 basic managers in the game, they would be on
that list without question..........I've never (ever) seen someone that can take a
terrible roll-up and turn it in to a winner. -- Roadkill

Bishop -- Lou was a promising young study; I will BF to avenge her.  Problem is, I do
not think I have anyone who can best you...might as well start at the top with A.A.S.
-- Storm Front, Mgr. Force of Nature

Lapur -- Lou's numbers -- 17-13-10-21-7-9-7, not the best numbers in the best places,
but definitely a worthy project.  Her replacement, well, let's just say I must not be
in the RUGs favor. -- Storm Front

Cloudshadow -- A surprising victory for me, your feint startled me into that lucky
throat shot. -- Starry

Meat Popsicle -- If I keep up my losing ways, Storm Front will be sending me to fight
by torch light, regardless of my numbers. -- Harry Cane

Occy -- Do you ever fight anyone other than a member of Force of Nature? -- Ice Shard

Colossus -- Yeah, such a promising start to my career...now, I just hope to live to
retirement against the likes of you. -- A.A. Shock

Mad Dog -- I thought for sure that I was outmatched when you did that knee-dropping
trick it also got me strangely excited. Nice move. -- Callisto

Vicdocomus -- I struck you on the face, head, hand and leg...nothing.  I hit you on
your butt and down you go...hmmm. -- Atria

Bishop -- I think ya need just a bit more experience; size doesn't count up here big
boy. -- Illyria

Purple Tao -- Ha, ha!  Thought you had me there didn't ya.  Surprise! -- Solar

Lucy -- Ah gods, I have to start winning some fights before Venus decides she doesn't
have the time to continue my training.  She can be a vicious taskmistress. -- Alhena

Metal Micers -- Congratulations to your two graduates Platunum Peener and Chrome
Crimper. -- Venus

Chrome Crimper -- Ah, that time I was the Crumpler.  What a rush, defeating a
graduated gladiator! -- Red Bull
P.S.  Of course, the style match was more or less in my favor.

Cuddle Me Tender -- Your name is a snare and a delusion.  You just want to lure men
close so that you can smash them around, don't you? -- Horn Rock, feeling tenderized

Callisto -- Damn, talk about confusion!  I thought I was supposed to HOWL at the
moon, not HIT it. -- Mad Dog

Starry Nite -- Ah, hmm.  Theoretically, I should have been able to, ah, "shut you
out," I believe is the phrase.  Didn't work that way, though. -- Cloudshadow
P.S.  This business of names giving an edge is tricky, isn't it?

Norman -- Like heck you're a dwarf!  I've never yet seen a dwarf with scales. --
P.S.  Besides, you're too tall.

Hmm, I see here where someone with four losses was sent to the Dark Arena, collecting
his fifth and retiring.  How come WE never fought him?  We could've used a win! --
Jorja, Cardow Hunters

Mad Dog Montana -- I can't answer you today, because I'm sulking.  Give me a month or
so and I'll come out of it. -- Mad Dog

Frain Ironboots -- Have you considered something lighter in the way of footwear?
Something that will let you spring around and whack people from all directions?
Seems like Mad Dog Montana might have something to offer in that area. -- Red Bull

Ghost of Nilith -- At least you got a kiss. -- Firebow

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

GLURB was butchered by RIVER MONSTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
MORDUH was butchered by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
FHRAIN demolished CYBORG 420 in a 1 minute gory one-sided Bloodfeud melee.
A.A. SHOCK vanquished BISHOP in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud brawl.
DEATHWIND FORGE savagely defeated GILAN in a exciting 7 minute bloody Bloodfeud fight.
WEIPA was dealt death by MAD DOG MONTANA in a 2 minute veteran's Challenge duel.
DAISY CHAINS beat CALLISTO in a popular 2 minute gruesome master's Challenge brawl.
COPPER COMPACTER won victory over LITERNIUS in a 2 minute expert's Challenge duel.
CUDDLE ME TENDER narrowly defeated MAD DOG in a action packed 3 minute Challenge duel.
RED HOT CHILI was defeated by ILLYRIA in a 3 minute Challenge match.
OCCY was overcome by CLOUDSHADOW in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
NORMAN was luckily beaten by ATRIA in a 2 minute Challenge match.
LUCY demolished DARK UNCLE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
DR. STRANGELEAF viciously butchered IRE MACLEER in a 1 minute brutal Challenge battle.
SMACK O'MALLEY slimly won victory over FELICIA in a 7 minute Challenge bout.
DIGGER lost to SILVER SAW in a 1 minute amateur's Challenge bout.
RED BULL was vanquished by CELADUS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided Title fray.
HYDROPONICUS was devastated by DEADLY ASSASSIN in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
COLOSSUS was overpowered by GLAUCO in a 1 minute one-sided match.
STORM was executed by LUHAR in a 1 minute bloody one-sided match.
NEEDS SALT was devastated by HORN ROCK in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
STARRY NITE narrowly defeated DANG IT DEBBIE in a monotonous 12 minute gory duel.
ICE SHARD easily killed FIREBOW in a 1 minute uneven duel.
HARRY CANE was bested by MEAT POPSICLE in a 1 minute bout.
ENCOLPIUS subdued COMMON RIVERRAT in a 1 minute fight.
VINDOCOMUS savagely defeated ALHENA in a exciting 3 minute gory duel.
LUCKY EIREANN lost to EMPEROR BONG in a 3 minute novice's fight.
NAILIN' PALIN was demolished by CHROME CUTTER in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
BRAN MCRAVEN won victory over MISTY WATERS in a 1 minute novice's fray.
SOLAR RADIATION handily defeated IRRITATED HOUSEWIFE in a 2 minute mismatched bout.
KUAN-YIN XORN was vanquished by IRON IMPACTER in a 2 minute one-sided bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  12         AIMED BLOW        50 -  26 -  2      66  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 12         SLASHING ATTACK   23 -  13 -  1      64  |
|AIMED BLOW                       8         PARRY-LUNGE       22 -  14 -  3      61  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   8         TOTAL PARRY       34 -  28 -  0      55  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         STRIKING ATTACK   43 -  51 -  1      46  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         LUNGING ATTACK    46 -  56 -  2      45  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         WALL OF STEEL     19 -  24 -  1      44  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         PARRY-STRIKE      10 -  13 -  2      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         BASHING ATTACK    32 -  54 -  1      37  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -  20 -  1      29  |

Turn 597 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  7         3  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         6 -  2     TOTAL PARRY        2 -  3         2  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  9         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  WALL OF STEEL  
BASHING ATTACK     5 -  3                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  2                                       1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   CELADUS 4948               23  17  2  115 EQUESTORS (158)
AIMED BLOW       MAD DOG MONTANA 4984       19  16  5  107 STREET WALKERS (97)
LUNGING ATTACK   FHRAIN 5124                14   6  2  101 MID EARTH (223)
WALL OF STEEL    DAISY CHAINS 5096          13  11  0   95 STREET WALKERS (97)
STRIKING ATTACK  RED BULL 5062              20  10  0   89 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
TOTAL PARRY      COPPER COMPACTER 5092      12   8  0   74 METAL MINCERS (256)
PARRY-LUNGE      CUDDLE ME TENDER 5205      10   2  0   69 BOHICA (449)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is RED BULL 5062.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was VINDOCOMUS 5251.  The ten other most popular fighters were DEATHWIND FORGE 5283, 

The least popular fighter this week was DANG IT DEBBIE 5217.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were STARRY NITE 5186, GILAN 5242, KUAN-YIN XORN 5312, NAILIN' PALIN 
556, and HYDROPONICUS 4605.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

CELADUS (29-4948) EQUESTORS (158)