Date   : 02/11/2009    Duedate: 02/24/2009


DM-29    TURN-599

This Weeks Top Honors


(29-5124) [15-7-2,108]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

FHRAIN                         SMACK O'MALLEY
MID EARTH (223)                CLAN CROW (456)
(29-5124) [15-7-2,108]         (29-5282) [2-3-0,33]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

LITERNIUS                      DAISY CHAINS
EQUESTORS (158)                STREET WALKERS (97)
(29-5049) [16-19-1,85]         (29-5096) [14-12-0,92]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. FORCE OF NATURE (312)       52
2. EQUESTORS (158)             32      BOHICA (449)
3. BOHICA (449)                20      Unchartered Team
4. STREET WALKERS (97)         13
5. 2008 (450)                  12      WRETCHED HORDE (453)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 2 BLUNT FORCE (393)         23  12  3 65.7   1/ 4 EQUESTORS (158)          13  2 0
 2/ 3 BOHICA (449)              38  23  0 62.3   2/ 3 METAL MINCERS (256)       8  3 0
 3/ 4 METAL MINCERS (256)      558 369 12 60.2   3/ 2 STREET WALKERS (97)       8  7 2
 4/ 5 STREET WALKERS (97)      532 359 45 59.7   4/ 8 FORCE OF NATURE (312)     8  7 2
 5/ 6 MID EARTH (223)          442 398 19 52.6   5/ 1 VENUSIANS (321)           8  7 0
 6/ 1*WRETCHED HORDE (453)       1   1  0 50.0   6/12 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)      8  7 0
 7/ 7 EQUESTORS (158)          720 755 51 48.8   7/ 7 BOHICA (449)              6  7 0
 8/ 8 CROC FILES (374)         414 443 28 48.3   8/ 9*CLAN CROW (456)           6  8 1
 9/ 9 VENUSIANS (321)          283 308 15 47.9   9-10 BLUNT FORCE (393)         5  3 1
10/10 FORCE OF NATURE (312)    309 363 23 46.0  10/ 6 MID EARTH (223)           5 10 1
11/11 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)     465 548 10 45.9  11/11 X-MEN (78)                3 10 0
12/13*2008 (450)                15  20  1 42.9  12/ 5 CROC FILES (374)          3 10 0
13/12 X-MEN (78)                50  67  9 42.7  13/13*WRETCHED HORDE (453)      1  1 0
14/14*CLAN CROW (456)           11  17  1 39.3  14/14*2008 (450)                1  6 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

             + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Edge of Night #29 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Off the road:

     What were they thinking? Math op Owain repeated to himself.  They were thinking
of going from an uncanny lake deeper into uncanny woods--and he'd been in the woods
around Murska more than once.  These weren't them.  And on to further and yet more
uncanny places.  In the near dark.  In the almost fully dark.  He squinted at the,
well, something like ruins ahead of them.  Or maybe more like a tomb, one of those
above ground palaces-for-the-dead, what did they call 'em?  Mausoleums.
     Lord Malcorn was dismounting, saying something to Wolf and the Dark Stranger
that Math, at the rear of their party, couldn't hear.  The other two dismounted, and
Malcorn was already starting to unsaddle his horse.  Danesjoh eat their livers!  They
were going to spend the NIGHT in this tomb!  Well, HE wasn't going to--
     Who was he fooling?  He was lost out here, it was going to be totally dark and
very cold in less than an hour, where else would he go?  Math dismounted and led his
horse and their pack horse close to the tomb.  The others were setting up a shelter
of sorts on its porch for the horses out of branches and walls of packed snow.  Their
own gear and packs had already been taken inside.  They'd probably laugh if he said
he wanted to sleep out here with the horses.
     He couldn't let it rest, he had to ask.  When he had a chance to speak privately
to Wolf, he said, "Is it truly safe to camp here?  In this, well, it looks like a
tomb to me!"
     "It is a tomb," the old shaman said.  "Among other things.  As to 'safe', not
really.  But safer than staying out in the woods."  As if to give point to his
statement, something howled in the woods.  Not a wolf, and not far away.
     Math shivered.  "Will our horses be okay out here?"
     Wolf stared into the snow-choked woods for long enough to rouse all Math's
fears.  "I don't know," he said finally.  "But it's the best we can do for them."
     There was unhappiness in the shaman's voice, enough to remind Math that before
all else, the Rirorni were horsemen.  Putting horses at risk would not sit easily
with him.  "Maybe we could bring them inside the tomb, too?" Math suggested.
     Something howled again.
     "What IS that?"  Math tried to look in all directions at once.  "It doesn't
sound like any wolf I ever--"
     "It is no wolf," Lord Malcorn said, appearing in the doorway to the tomb.  He
filled it completely.  Shewish blood aside, he seemed to have gained size in some
way, or maybe it was importance, mythic weight that he had gained.  It was like
looking at a centuries-old tree, or a huge stone monolith.  "No wolf of this world,
at least.  But it will not come into this clearing without long hesitation.  We and
the horses will be gone by then."
     "We will remain in the gatehouse till moonrise, getting what sleep we may.  When
the moon rises, the inner door will open, and we can go through, taking the horses
with us--we'll need them for speed.  It's a long road ahead of us, and one that must
be covered as quickly as possible."
     "The Spirit Land?" Math asked.  He didn't like the Spirit Land, but he sort of
understood it.
     "Not... exactly."
     "Not at all," Wolf said.  "But we will go anyway, so let us get that sleep."  He
stepped past Malcorn and went into the tomb.  "Come, Math.  You will need any rest
you can get."
     Math blew out a breath that smoked in the cold air.  "I'm too old for this kind
of thing," he muttered, following.
     "That's why you were chosen," Malcorn said.  He didn't sound mythic now, only
human and weary.  "The young, like your friends Redfox and Blackwind, are too
reckless for this road."
     "Will they be okay?"
     The Lord of Malcorn shrugged.  "Who knows?  It depends on their luck and skill,
as everything does always."

In the woods and away:

     Blackwind made sure his pack was secure and his weapons ready at hand, then
glanced at the Croc.  Agro nodded.  He was ready, too.  The link that bound them to
Redfox was clear in his mind, tugging him forward, but there was no trail.  He
couldn't see how to--  Of course!  He shut his eyes.  In his mind there was the link,
like a blazing shaft of sunlight.  Keeping his eyes shut, which was harder than he
might have imagined, he stepped forward "onto" it.
     This might work.  It would have to work.  He could feel Agro behind him, Redfox
somewhere ahead.  It was going to work.  He kept walking along the shining path in
his head.
     There was no way to guess time, and with his eyes shut he couldn't gauge
distance, but it felt like... ten minutes or so.  You can walk a long way in ten
minutes, even in these woods.  They hadn't run into any trees, though, so maybe they
weren't in the woods anymore.  Did he dare to open his eyes?  Huh, "dare" wasn't the
issue, he was going to--  He opened one eye just a slit.  No trees.  But the path was
clear even to his outer eye, so he opened both and looked around.
     It was a wasteland, a sort of rocky desert with indirect lighting.  Blackwind
could tell that it wasn't flat, but the lack of clear, consistent shadows made it
impossible to judge distance and slope reliably, or even the size of the boulders if
they were more than arm's-length away.
     "This is a hell," Agro said.  He had moved up beside the Malcornishman and was
making his own survey.  "There is no water, and it is cold."
     Blackwind had been thinking it hot, but since it wasn't the world they were used
to, maybe it could be both at once.  "At least our path is clear," he said.
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Everything hurt more or less, which was no surprise, but Redfox decided he was
still alive.  Made sense.  The nighthunter wanted him to be afraid, and the dead
don't feel fear.  He'd been dumped face down onto a stony surface somewhere.  Not in
the woods any longer, he couldn't smell trees, or snow either.  He could hear claws
scrabbling on the heavy canvas of his backpack, and the straps cut into his shoulders
as something tugged at it.  The nighthunter must be trying to get the pack off him
and having trouble.  Well, it hadn't seemed very bright, back in the clearing.
Dangerous, but not smart.
     More dangerous because it wasn't smart.  It was making a sound, a kind of
snarling whine, and the sound was getting more frustrated and angry by the heartbeat.
How long before it decided to just kill him for his blood and forego the fear?  And
what could he do about it?

             + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Edge of Night #30 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Somewhere in the Spirit Lands:

     Young Joan stopped and gave two tugs on the rope that connected her with
Cloudrider, signaling him to come to her.  Then she waited.  Stared at the "land"
around them.  Nearly flat, poorly lit by the perpetual twilight of this region of the
Spirit Lands, thinly grown with some kind of knee-high brown ferns.  She considered
it a textbook example of "drab and depressing."  It was enough to put anyone off
dying, if this was where you had to go afterward.
     Cloudrider appeared, seeming to condense out of the murky atmosphere.  Plodding,
as though it took all his effort to put one foot in front of the next.  He looked
depressed.  "We aren't going to find Necroma this way," he said.
     "No," Joan agreed.  "I can't think of any way we can look for her with any hope
of finding her except by pure chance.  We're wasting our time looking."
     "I hate to just abandon her!"
     "Yes, but we can't afford to throw away our time in a futile search.  There are
important things we're supposed to be doing.  Uncle Wolf is counting on us."
     The young gladiator heaved a deep sigh.  "I guess.  But I really don't like it."
     "Welcome to real life.  If it helps, if we see anything that might be a clue to
finding Necroma while we're doing Uncle Wolf's business, we will pursue it."
     "But not right away, I bet.  Not if it means dropping Uncle Wolf's work
unfinished."  Cloudrider glanced at Joan's face, then away.  He'd seen the answer
there clearly enough.  "I know Uncle Wolf's work is important, but I don't like
leaving Necroma on her own."
                      ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Necroma didn't much like being on her own in this limbo, but in a way, it was
exhilarating.  Whatever happened now would be her responsibility entirely.  If she
did something right, it would be because she, personally, had thought of the right
thing to do and done it.  Not because some teacher had told her what to do.
     And she had thought of something to do.  Whether it was right or not, only time
would tell.  It was a spell she had never seen a use for until now, a spell of
summoning, in a way, but of summoning herself to the location of some other being,
instead of drawing that other to her own location.
     She focused her thoughts on Cloudrider and began to chant in her mind.
Carefully, because the difference between this and the standard summoning resided in
two simple phrases, and if she got them wrong, Cloudrider would end up here in limbo
with her.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 611): KEEL HAULER of SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 613): PYTHAGORAS of DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 607): VARPULIS RUKH of STARBASE 5 (Zeus, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 609): STINGING NETTLE of MAXIMUM RESULTS (Coyote, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 607): VERCINGETORIX of DEATH INCARNATE (Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 605): ANTONIUS of IDES OF MARCH (Caesar, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 303): YAU (DARKFACE) of ZULU NATION (Zulu, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 598): MAD DOG MONTANA of STREET WALKERS (Roadkill, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 300): LOWLY WORM of AVENGERS (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 595): SNOWFLAKE of RILL'S GCSC2 (Rillion, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 593): THE MONGOL of RAVAGING LORDS (General Ikillu, mgr)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 584): ANGUS ARGUS of CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 546): JEREMY CAMP of POSITIVE ALTERNATIVE (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM  47 DOUBLE X (turn 272): BULLPEN ACE of ROYAL FLUSH (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 259): EXTRUSION of LIFE IMPACTS (Smitty, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 474): MOSSIE ROCKTROLL of INCONSISTENT FURY (Banthius, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 461): DEATH STUD of DEATH STUDS XII (Death Stud, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 437): MELOST THE GRAY of SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 208): GAFFER SMITH of BAD APPLES (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAYLA KIV (turn 405): KOLBAN TEN TAHL of SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  78 LIN TIRIAN (turn 383): MESSALIDA of SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 499): SISTER X of CULTS-R-US (?, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 611): SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 613): DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 607): DARK CREATION (Herbert Philip Lovecraft West, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 609): PUNNY ANIMALS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 607): FIELDS OF ELYSIUM (Caesar, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 605): CUNNING RUNTS (Deep Thought, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 303): STEEL AND SILK (Silky, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 598): VENUSIANS (Venus, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 300): LORDS OF VALHALLA (High Lord Bosk, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 595): DEVIL ADVOCATES (Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 593): RAVAGNING LORDS (General Ikillu, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 584): LOST CAUSE (Vol, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 546): DEVILED HAM (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 578): MIKES HEROES (?, mgr.)
 DM  47 DOUBLE X (turn 272): SECOND BANANAS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 259): LIFE IMPACTS (Smitty, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 474): INCONSISTENT FURY (Banthius, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 461): DEATH STUDS XII (Death Stud, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 442): MIDDLE WAY 16 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 437): SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 208): MONGOL HORDE (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAYLA KIV (turn 405): SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  78 LIN TIRIAN (turn 383): SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 499): REIGNING DOO et al (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 607): SIMULARCRUM of DARK CREATION (H.P.L. West, mgr.)
                (turn 607): WIND RIDER of GREENWARDENS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 607): JACK THE RIPPER of DEATH INCARNATE (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 605): ANTONIUS of IDES OF MARCH (Caesar, mgr.)
                            DARDANIUS of IDES OF MARCH (Caesar, mgr.)
                            BLACK BELT of THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 302): LE PLON of THE PENTARCHY (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
                          VELVET FINISH of STEEL AND SILK (Michael Eldritch, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 598): MAD DOG MONTANA of STREET WALKERS (Roadkill, mgr.)
              (turn 597): CELADUS of EQUESTORS (Spartacus, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 299): BEDLAM of CHAOS (Lord of Chaos, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 594): EASTER GUARDIAN of SARATOGA GLORY (The Trainer, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 546): LEO POWERS of MEDAL OF HONOR F1 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  47 DOUBLE X (turn 272): BULLPEN ACE of ROYAL FLUSH (Crip, mgr.)
                             PIZZA PIE PARTY of THINGS I DROOL IN (Nuln, mgr.)
                 (turn 271): SISTER MERCY of OLD HABITS (Soultaker, mgr.)
                             MAGIC WAND of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
                             BOQ of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 474): MOSSIE ROCKTROLL of INCONSISTENT FURY (Banthius, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 460): ENIGMA XXV of DEATH STUDS XII (Death Stud, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 208): GAFFER SMITH of BAD APPLES (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAYLA KIV (turn 405): KOLBAN TEN TAHL of SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Greetings Lapur, 

Roadkill wanted me to go into some big speech about he finally graduated an Aimed
Blow from Lapur, and how the monkey was off his back, yadda yadda yadda.

But that's not the case.  This is MY column, and with my invite, I can say what I
want without any retribution from Roadkill.  So with out any further adieu here goes

Dear Roadkill, 


For so long I've had to listen to you whine and cry about losing ABs.  For so long
I've had to endure listening to your little comments about how I'm one of the worst
ABs you've designed.  For so long, you've made yourself out to be a great manager,
and "how you want Lapur to be the best arena in the game."

Guess what, bozo, it's not all about you!!  You say I'm the worst AB???  Got news for
you pal, I survived, I gratuated!  That make me the BEST aimed blow you managed.  I
did what all your little worm farms couldn't.  Lapur was a great arena before you,
and it will be a great arena after you're gone.  So get off your little soapbox, take
a reality break, get a nice cool glass of water and choke down that suck pill that
been a long time overdue.  One last thing, if you don't like what I'm saying you can
always BITE ME.

Ok, I feel better now.  

I do want to express that it's been a pleasure fighting in this arena 
with all of you.  My only regret was the lives I took (except for Black 
Orc, I set him free).  I just hope that now the curse is over and we'll 
see a few more aimed blows graduate, it be nice to see another Bonnie make 
it through the rankings, even though I realize some people could play 
their whole career and not see a fighter as special as her.

As for whats-his-face's set up for me was.....

Left Handed

is Intelligent
   makes very clever attacks
   is always thinking ahead
   planes out every move, seldom wasting any effort

is relatively Slow and Inactive (some might disagree with this one)

Cannot carry a Lot of Weight in weapons and armor

is Incredibly Quick and Elusive on her feet

does Great Damage with a blow (the reason for most of my wins)


Expert in Riposte (mode)
Master in Attack (+2)
Advanced Expert in Defense (+4)

naturally adept with the Longsword

VL offensive/MOD activity (the moderate activity was a bit of a shocker)

learn Defensive actions

Well, there you go...I am going to follow the Street Walkers past Lady Protectors and
fight my last turn in the Dark Arena...I know I'll get the Arenamaster because, like,
me he hates whats-his-face for always shooting off his mouth.

May the sands of the arena bless you all,

Lady Protector Mad Dog Montana 

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster here with my bag to give you the news on last 
week's fights.  Say good-bye to VENUSIANS, as they are pushed from the coveted top 
team spot by the EQUESTORS stable.  A stormcloud is brewing over the CROC FILES 
guildhouse.  Rumor says any more weeks like this ones 1-3-0 may send the team to the 
Dark Arena.  Coming up with a solid 4-1-0 outing, CARDOW HUNTERS has advanced 6 
places in the rankings.  It looks like the guys(?) at EQUESTORS had a good week as 
they went 5-0-0 to put them in 1st place.  I guess steroids help!  And falling like a 
basher in the top ten was LUHAR, who dropped 17 points after a disappointing (to say 
the least) bout with NEEDS SALT.  Well here's a duelmaster that doesn't sit back and 
say 'Challenge me'!  MAD DOG MONTANA made a Dark Arena Challenge against SHEWISH 
GIANT this week.  Our battling duelmaster MAD DOG MONTANA has managed to hold the 
title, fending off SHEWISH GIANT's none too subtle advances.  Better luck next time, 
DARK ARENA.  An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps T.P.s at 
     Here is other news that is of note.  Here's a song for you:  Who's afraid of the 
afraid of the big bad CARDOW HUNTERS.  Tra la la la la!  For those of you who like 
math, try this one:  CARDOW HUNTERS + Weapons That go Boom = BOHICA + Avoid City.  
Well dang howdy, but if challenges were votes, CHROME CUTTER would be president.  
Although it may be a contest it doesn't want to win.  In a touching display by a 
'touched' warrior, A.A. SHOCK went after SCRUFFY PUFF, who was higher by 19 points.  
Well, when the dust settled, A.A. SHOCK killed SCRUFFY PUFF.   
     Being a spy is great--other people die and you spend the rest of the day 
drinking to their memory.  Better tanked than dead!  MAD DOG MONTANA defied all odds 
and slew SHEWISH GIANT in the Dark Arena.  The only ones displeased were the 
buzzards, as SHEWISH GIANT's meat is notoriously tough.  Big deal, so DANG IT DEBBIE 
got mashed in the Dark Arena.  With hers face she was more at home with the trolls 
than with us. (Waka waka).  This round goes to FORCE OF NATURE, their 14-19-2 
warrior, A.A. SHOCK slew the 9-4-0 SCRUFFY PUFF.  Stay tuned next week to see what 
happens.  Ask not the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.  Silly 
buggers, eh?   
     Well, there's the manager of the LAPUR giving me the 'cut' sign (or is that 
'They're going to strangle you in the alley?).  Well, there goes another Spy Report.  
Good luck in next week's fights.  Its been fun, and I'm sure you enjoyed it (boos).  
Now that I've got you worked up for Snide Clemens, I'll be leaving-- The Unknown 

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FHRAIN 5124                  15   7  2   108       MID EARTH (223)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 A.A. SHOCK 5054              14  19  2   106       FORCE OF NATURE (312)
-HYDROPONICUS 4605             8   2  0    94       BLUNT FORCE (393)
 DAISY CHAINS 5096            14  12  0    92       STREET WALKERS (97)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CALLISTO 5036                18  18  2    88       VENUSIANS (321)
 RED BULL 5062                21  11  0    87       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 LITERNIUS 5049               16  19  1    85       EQUESTORS (158)
 GLAUCO 5102                  16  12  1    85       EQUESTORS (158)
 COPPER COMPACTER 5092        13   9  0    76       METAL MINCERS (256)
 COLOSSUS 556                 15  18  4    73       X-MEN (78)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CUDDLE ME TENDER 5205        10   4  0    66       BOHICA (449)
 NEEDS SALT 5206               7   2  0    66       BOHICA (449)
-INCONEL INDENTER 4324         7   2  1    65       METAL MINCERS (256)
 ATRIA 5101                   14  14  1    62       VENUSIANS (321)
 ILLYRIA 5149                 13   9  0    61       VENUSIANS (321)
 CLOUDSHADOW 5154             15   7  0    60       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HORN ROCK 5113               11  16  0    54       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 RED HOT CHILI 5202            6   3  0    54       BOHICA (449)
 VINDOCOMUS 5251               7   4  0    52       EQUESTORS (158)
 MAD DOG 5125                 13  12  0    51       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 STARRY NITE 5186             11   7  0    48       FORCE OF NATURE (312)
 ICE SHARD 5191                8   9  1    47       FORCE OF NATURE (312)
 LUHAR 5244                    7   5  2    44       MID EARTH (223)
 BISHOP 5300                   3   3  1    44       X-MEN (78)
 OCCY 5160                     9  12  0    39       CROC FILES (374)
-THE IRON LUNG 4667            3   0  0    39       BLUNT FORCE (393)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FELICIA 1693                  6   3  1    35       STREET WALKERS (97)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SMACK O'MALLEY 5282           2   3  0    33       CLAN CROW (456)
 NORMAN 5208                   8   8  0    32       CROC FILES (374)
 ENCOLPIUS 5268                7   2  0    32       EQUESTORS (158)
 GILAN 5242                    7   5  1    30       MID EARTH (223)
 ALHENA 5291                   2   5  0    30       VENUSIANS (321)
-EMPEROR BONG 5314             2   0  0    30       BLUNT FORCE (393)
-DR. STRANGELEAF 4659          5   2  1    29       BLUNT FORCE (393)
 CHROME CUTTER 5316            3   0  0    27       METAL MINCERS (256)
 MEAT POPSICLE 5309            3   2  0    26       BOHICA (449)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LUCY 5253                     4   7  0    23       CROC FILES (374)
-DEATHWIND FORGE 5283          3   2  0    23       CLAN CROW (456)
-CYBORG 420 4547               3   2  1    22       BLUNT FORCE (393)
 DIGGER 5278                   3   3  0    22       CROC FILES (374)
 WATERSTONE 5317               2   0  0    20       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 WEXLE 5256                    1   1  0    18       WRETCHED HORDE (453)
 LUCKY EIREANN 5285            3   3  1    17       CLAN CROW (456)
 NAILIN' PALIN 5302            3   2  0    16       STREET WALKERS (97)
 JANUARY 5305                  2   1  0    15       2008 (450)
 SILVER SAW 5287               3   3  0    14       METAL MINCERS (256)
 DARK UNCLE 2168               2   8  0    14       X-MEN (78)
 KUAN-YIN XORN 5312            1   2  0    12       X-MEN (78)
 SOLAR RADIATION 5308          3   2  0    11       VENUSIANS (321)
 JULIANUS 5321                 1   0  0    11       EQUESTORS (158)
 IRON IMPACTER 5315            2   1  0     8       METAL MINCERS (256)
 BRAN MCRAVEN 5311             1   3  0     6       CLAN CROW (456)
 SEPTEMBER 5306                1   2  0     5       2008 (450)
 MISTY WATERS 5313             0   3  0     3       FORCE OF NATURE (312)
 MAY 5324                      0   1  0     1       2008 (450)
 REVIL 5323                    0   1  0     1       MID EARTH (223)
 FAYLIN O'COMMA 5322           0   1  0     1       CLAN CROW (456)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
SCRUFFY PUFF 5207       9  4 0 BOHICA 449           A.A. SHOCK 5054       599   
FIREBOW 5279            0  7 0 CARDOW HUNTERS 359   ICE SHARD 5191        597   
AISLING OF SLEIG 5284   1  1 0 CLAN CROW 456        GILAN 5242            595  REVENGED
IRE MACLEER 5310        1  1 0 CLAN CROW 456        DR. STRANGELEAF 4659  597   
HARRY CANE 5267         1  7 0 FORCE OF NATURE 312  RIVER MONSTER         599  NONE
LOU NER-ECLIPSE 5292    2  1 0 FORCE OF NATURE 312  BISHOP 5300           595  REVENGED
MALAIN 5319             1  1 0 MID EARTH 223        LUCKY EIREANN 5285    599   
DANG IT DEBBIE 5217     6  6 0 STREET WALKERS 97    DARK CHAMPION         599  NONE
STORM 553              16 14 3 X-MEN 78             LUHAR 5244            597  REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Lapur -- By the time you read this Celadus will be retired.  So here is something for
you to chew on.  His roll-up numbers were 13-5-6-17-4-9-16.  These were modified to
17-9-6-17-9-9-17.  He advanced to Advanced expert in initiative, advanced master in
attack, expert in parry, advanced expert in decisiveness.  His also has: good damage,
very intelligent with five sub-statements, very frail, very quick and active, and
incredibly quick and elusive.  I would guess the very frail had something to do with
the very frail.  I would like to read what those of you who are sending all these
bashers into the arena think, expecially Mr. Colossus.  I like to experiment set-ups
for styles that others would probably disagree with.  I have some successes and some
flops.  This is probably the reason for the 711-754 record.  -- Spartacus, mgr

Colossus -- Basher vs basher and the little guy with the bigger weapon prevailed.
Don't believe everything you hear/read about the "classic weapon" for the style. --

Althema -- Did not think I was going to get through this one without falling on my
face. -- Vindocomus

Copper Compacter -- Compacter my butt, you couldn't flatten an aluminum can let alone
anything made of copper or are you supposed to be a compacter made of copper or wait
a minute, I know what it is.  You are afraid to use your middle name.  You are
actually Copper Garbage Compater. -- Liteminus

Red Bull -- Let me say that I am somewhat shocked!  With your record and recognition
differential you should have turned me into dog food.  Not only did I get an
unexpected win, but I was catapulted into the Duelmaster position for one turn.
Probably won't retire as Duelmaster. -- Celadus

Lapur -- If some of you are wondering where I came up with the name Equestors, it was
the result of one too many adult beverages when getting started.  I should have been
Eques but I did not think that would have made any sense.  The Eques were mounted
gladiators equipped with lance, sword and the round shield of the republican cavalry,
the parma equestris.  Eques only fought other Eques.  So in my befuddled state
equestris became equestors.  Yeh, I know, nobody cares. -- Spartacus, mgr Equestors

     Yeah, but the arena maintenance crew really wouldn't have liked cleaning up
     behind horses.

Liternius -- Now wasn't that fun?  Two in a row! -- Copper Compacter

Meat Popsicle -- Now that was quite interesting!  Doggone unusual.  But I will take
them one and all. -- Chrome Cutter the meat cutter and popsicle chomper

Kuan-Yin -- Interesting and great strategy change.  Our regards to your Manager. --
Ora and Oremaster

Humpff! -- Iron Compacter

Mad Dog Montana -- Congrats on your Duelmastership and your invite.  Well deserved!
-- The Metal Mincers
P.S.  We liked you so much, we did everything we could to keep you here at home.

Equesters!  48 big points and top team on the move!  No wonder we avoid you. -- Ora
and the other

Street Walker -- May your challenges continue to fall by the wayside.  Why change a
good thing.  (group chuckle) -- The Metal Mincers

Come on, Necroma!  We're pulling for you. -- Ora and Oremaster

Palin -- I hope you do run again for Veep or President.  I like nailin' the brass! --
Chrome Cutter

Too bad, Glurb The Buffoon.  Every arena needs its fill of buffoons. -- Silver Saw

Happy Valentines Day all. -- Ora

Aye.  Happy hearts 'n cupid 'n all. -- Oremaster

Mad Dog Montana -- Woo!  Congrats on graduating!  See you in Primus one day! --
Bonnie, visiting

Iron Impaler -- Looks like you found THAT weapon again.  Suits you better all the
time! -- Kuan-Yin

Norman -- Foul!  I tried to call time-out!  My sandal was untied! -- Dark Uncle

     Always double-knot.

Luhar -- You fight with honor and courage.  This bloodfeud is ended. -- VV

Lapur -- I suppose introductions are in order. I am Vvirikidor--manager of the X-Men.
What happened to Xavier you ask...Hair Club for Lapurians...sad...so very, very sad.
See you on the sands! -- VV

Strangeleaf -- So Ye challenged down to kill one o' me team.  Cannae stand ta see him
in da Unchartered Leader Spot?  Ye got the spine of o' jellyfish.  Problem with
jellyfish is they Squish under ye toes! -- Owsly

Felicia -- Right good fightin ye put up!  Coulda went either way.  Ye can toss back a
pint with me any day! -- Smack
P.S.  Ye dannae by chance table dance do ye?

It be seemin ta me like there be a whole lotta killin goin on!  Cannae we just all
get along? -- Owsly

Gilan -- Whiff O'malley eh?  Hmmm...yah I can see where ye might get dat.  Seein how
me whiffed right in and avenged me mate the second time 'round.  Granted ye had me
bad the first time 'round -- Smack with yer capital S

Celadus -- Congrats on your invite, sorry we're a little late. -- Roadkill and the
Street Walkers

Ora -- I didn't say anything that's not true.  The Consortium deserve all the respect
they've earned. -- Roadkill
P.S.  I know some might think I'm kissing up, but the truth is saying nice things
about other managers just doesn't come easy to me. :)

Meat Popsicle vs. Harry Cane -- Glad I'm not the only one to notice that one!!  Now
if you would have been in Lapur when Private Malice, Hung Lo, and Stud Muffin were
still playing, you could have gotten together and started you own boy band. --

Cuddle Me Tender -- Never try and cuddle with a Mad Dog, at least you learned from
the experience. -- Montana

Hydroponicus -- I guess if I'm gonna lose I might as well rape you for skills.  You
do realize that by the time I figure this fighting thingy out, I'll be up for next
year's Marcus Award. -- Daisy Chains

Lucy -- I love Lucy!!!  You actually pointed out a major flaw in my strategy that I
was overlooking.  I'm determined to get better than my last few fights have shown. --

Emperor Bong -- Thanks!!!  You just changed my name to Dark Arena Debbie. -- Dang

January -- Change your name to April, with the way you kept raining down attacks, it
suits you better. -- Nailin' Palin  

Mad Dog Montana -- Wow, that was really close.  I almost had you!  Oh, well.
Congrats on the invite! -- Cuddle Me Tender

Cloud Shadow -- Stick a fork in me, I'm done! -- Needs more than Salt

Chrome Cutter -- That was pretty slick, replacing my sword of steel with a nerf
dagger.  I hope it didn't tickle too much. -- Popsicle

Venomous Concubine -- You're sassy!  I like that! -- Scruffy Puff

Needs Salt -- Well, of course.  Just about everything needs salt when you sit down to
eat it.  Great stuff, salt.  Salty. -- Cloudshadow

Glauco -- We've met before, yes?  Right, I thought so.  If not personally on the
sands, then one of my teammates fought you.  I could've stood not being bashed, but I
guess that's too much to ask. -- Horn Rock
P.S.  You did it very thoroughly, I'll say that for you.

Callisto -- Ah... I was abashed in the presence of a lady with stars in her hair? --
Red Bull

A.A. Shock -- I don't like shock, you know?  We had a window-rattler here today,
somebody probably dropped something--like a keg of blasting powder--down at the
quarry, that's what I think.  Or else it was an earthquake.  Whatever, that kind of
thing just makes me howl. -- Mad Dog

September -- Ah!  I am sure that is my favorite month! -- Waterstone

Celadus -- If that was your column (no signature), well, I figure you earned the
title and the graduation.  As to me challenging, in my dreams, maybe.  Jorja will
chase me with a hammer (she's a basher) to get me to write personals, but change my
strategies?  In the immortal words of Debby Tonte, As if! -- Red Bull

Needs Salt -- Life is tough in the arena.  Hang in there. -- Horn Rock

Our congratulations to Mad Dog Montana. -- Jorja and the Cardow Hunters (and Uncle
Wolf, if he knows about your graduation, but he's busy at the moment, so maybe not)

A salute to all Lapurnians who participated in the tourney. -- Jorja and the Cardow

Digger -- With a name like that you might want to consider working in a nice funeral
home somewhere. -- Encolpius


Copper (Garbage) Compacter -- You ####***$$$&&@%%%%%. -- Liternius

Fhrain -- Thank you, thank you, thank you for getting matched up with me.  I was
certain Red Bull was going to challenge to get the title back.  Sorry I treated you
badly but it sure is nice retiring as a Duelmaster. -- Celadus

Horn Rock -- This is new territory for a basher.  A win without even hititng his
opponent.  I did not think it was possible.  It may take a while to recover from the
beating you gave me. -- Glauco

Illyria -- Rather aggressive for you style. -- Vindocomus

Lapur -- At my birth I was a 13-5-6-17-4-9-16.  Through divine intervention I was
elevated to 17-9-6-17-9-9-17.  As I progressed through my chosen profession I
attained advanced expert in initiative, advanced master in attack, expert in parry,
advanced expert in decisiveness.  I was a very quick and active fellow but very frail
and incredibly quick and elusive.  It was also said I could deliver good damage with

every blow.  I used to hear a little voice telling me to use a morning star but I
loved Gertrude, my maul.  Well Lapur that is a thumbnail sketch of this basher. --

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

MAD DOG MONTANA butchered SHEWISH GIANT in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Dark Arena fight.
DANG IT DEBBIE was murdered by DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
HARRY CANE was assassinated by RIVER MONSTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
FHRAIN devastated CALLISTO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge Title contest.
CUDDLE ME TENDER was savagely defeated by LITERNIUS in a 3 minute Challenge match.
A.A. SHOCK slaughtered SCRUFFY PUFF in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
COPPER COMPACTER was savagely defeated by DAISY CHAINS in a 6 minute Challenge brawl.
BISHOP was unbelievably bested by CLOUDSHADOW in a 2 minute Challenge duel.
ICE SHARD vanquished OCCY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
NEEDS SALT vanquished LUHAR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
ALHENA was luckily beaten by STARRY NITE in a 2 minute gruesome Challenge match.
GILAN narrowly defeated LUCY in a exciting 6 minute brutal Challenge fight.
NAILIN' PALIN outwaited DARK UNCLE in a unpopular 13 minute brutal Challenge conflict.
BRAN MCRAVEN was demolished by WATERSTONE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
KUAN-YIN XORN was overcome by CHROME CUTTER in a 1 minute novice's Challenge conflict.
MISTY WATERS was defeated by IRON IMPACTER in a 1 minute Challenge struggle.
GLAUCO slimly won victory over COLOSSUS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute master's bout.
RED BULL overpowered ATRIA in a exciting 1 minute one-sided bout.
HORN ROCK was beaten by ILLYRIA in a crowd pleasing 2 minute veteran's match.
FELICIA was bested by VINDOCOMUS in a 2 minute contest.
MAD DOG beat SMACK O'MALLEY in a exciting 1 minute gory uneven fight.
RED HOT CHILI handily defeated NORMAN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven duel.
ENCOLPIUS defeated WEXLE in a 2 minute gory match.
DIGGER overpowered SEPTEMBER in a popular 2 minute gruesome one-sided duel.
LUCKY EIREANN luckily killed MALAIN in a 3 minute brutal bout.
SILVER SAW was viciously subdued by MEAT POPSICLE in a action packed 1 minute bout.
JANUARY overpowered REVIL in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray.
SOLAR RADIATION slimly won victory over MAY in a popular 4 minute novice's bout.
JULIANUS handily defeated FAYLIN O'COMMA in a exciting 1 minute one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 12         AIMED BLOW        48 -  27 -  3      64  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  12         SLASHING ATTACK   23 -  14 -  1      62  |
|AIMED BLOW                       6         PARRY-LUNGE       18 -  17 -  2      51  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   5         TOTAL PARRY       28 -  27 -  0      51  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         WALL OF STEEL     20 -  20 -  2      50  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         PARRY-STRIKE      10 -  11 -  1      48  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         BASHING ATTACK    33 -  43 -  1      43  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         STRIKING ATTACK   42 -  55 -  1      43  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         LUNGING ATTACK    46 -  61 -  2      43  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -  15 -  0      32  |

Turn 599 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      4 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  7         3  BASHING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         4 -  2     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  3         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        2 -  3         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
STRIKING ATTACK    7 -  5     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  4         1  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  STRIKING ATTACK
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   FHRAIN 5124                15   7  2  108 MID EARTH (223)
WALL OF STEEL    DAISY CHAINS 5096          14  12  0   92 STREET WALKERS (97)
STRIKING ATTACK  RED BULL 5062              21  11  0   87 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
BASHING ATTACK   GLAUCO 5102                16  12  1   85 EQUESTORS (158)
TOTAL PARRY      COPPER COMPACTER 5092      13   9  0   76 METAL MINCERS (256)
PARRY-LUNGE      CUDDLE ME TENDER 5205      10   4  0   66 BOHICA (449)
AIMED BLOW       CLOUDSHADOW 5154           15   7  0   60 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is LITERNIUS 5049.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was DAISY CHAINS 5096.  The ten other most popular fighters were LUCY 5253, LITERNIUS 
5049, MAY 5324, HORN ROCK 5113, DIGGER 5278, WEXLE 5256, MALAIN 5319, BISHOP 5300, 
ALHENA 5291, and MEAT POPSICLE 5309.

The least popular fighter this week was NAILIN' PALIN 5302.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were DARK UNCLE 2168, FAYLIN O'COMMA 5322, SOLAR RADIATION 5308, 
5207, CALLISTO 5036, and REVIL 5323.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

FHRAIN (29-5124) MID EARTH (223)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn: