DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 06/03/2009    Duedate: 06/16/2009

LAPUR ARENA

DM-29    TURN-607

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

POSITION IS EMPTY

Chartered Recognition LeaderUnchartered Recognition Leader

POSITION IS EMPTY              GEMINI
                               ZODIAC (459)
                               (29-5364) [2-2-0,33]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

LITERNIUS                      FELICIA
EQUESTORS (158)                STREET WALKERS (97)
(29-5049) [18-25-1,94]         (29-1693) [11-6-1,93]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

CARDOW HUNTERS (359)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. STREET WALKERS (97)         52
2. CARDOW HUNTERS (359)        35      PHILANTHROPISTS (407)
3. TRAIL OF TEARS (229)        30      Unchartered Team
4. X-MEN (78)                  28
5. EQUESTORS (158)             23      ZODIAC (459)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 PHILANTHROPISTS (407)     16   6  0 72.7   1/ 6 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)      9  5 0
 2/ 2 BOHICA (449)              57  35  0 62.0   2/ 1 MID EARTH (223)           9  6 0
 3- 3*TREKKERS (462)             6   4  0 60.0   3/ 4 WILL DUEL 4 MEAD (282)    9  6 0
 4- 4 METAL MINCERS (256)      568 381 12 59.9   4/ 3 BOHICA (449)              8  4 0
 5/ 5 STREET WALKERS (97)      555 376 46 59.6   5/ 7 X-MEN (78)                8  7 1
 6/ 6 WILL DUEL 4 MEAD (282)   167 118 18 58.6   6/11 STREET WALKERS (97)       8  7 0
 7/ 7 BLACK KELTS (233)        225 200  9 52.9   7/ 5 EQUESTORS (158)           8  7 0
 8/ 8 MID EARTH (223)          461 419 20 52.4   8/ 2 FORCE OF NATURE (312)     7  7 0
 9/ 9 EQUESTORS (158)          738 777 51 48.7   9- 9*TREKKERS (462)            6  4 0
10/10 VENUSIANS (321)          299 332 15 47.4  10/16 BLACK KELTS (233)         5  8 1
11/12 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)     487 565 10 46.3  11/10*ZODIAC (459)              5  9 0
12/11 FORCE OF NATURE (312)    329 382 24 46.3  12/14 TRAIL OF TEARS (229)      5 10 0
13/14 TRAIL OF TEARS (229)     124 165  7 42.9  13/ 8 VENUSIANS (321)           5 10 0
14/13 CLAN CROW (456)           25  34  2 42.4  14/15 2008 (450)                4  5 1
15/16 X-MEN (78)                66  90 10 42.3  15/12 CLAN CROW (456)           4  6 1
16/15*ZODIAC (459)               8  11  0 42.1  16/17 PHILANTHROPISTS (407)     3  0 0
17/ 0*CREATURE FEATURE (463)     2   3  1 40.0  17/ 0*CREATURE FEATURE (463)    2  3 1

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
18/17 2008 (450)                19  30  2 38.8  18-13 METAL MINCERS (256)       1  5 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

             + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Edge of Night #37 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Somewhere in the Spirit Lands:

     "Okay," Cloudrider said, "I don't like it, but we work on Uncle Wolf's project."
He looked around at the dim landscape of ferny plains.  "How do we do that?"
     Young Joan closed her eyes; he guessed she was consulting her ghost partner,
Selumia.  "There should be a....  Damn, it isn't clear at all.  A zone of
transition."
     Cloudrider looked around again, pointedly.  There was no variation in the
scenery in any direction.
     "There will be such a zone when we expect it to be there," Nightwind said in the
back of Cloudrider's mind.  "The geography here is not fixed as it appears in the
Outer Lands.  Expectation and belief are critical."
     "Okay," Joan said, and he figured she must have heard the same thing from her
ghost.  "We're climbing a long hill here, and when we get to the top, we'll see the
zone of transition beyond it."
     Looking at the ferny ground ahead of him, Cloudrider saw that it was, indeed, a
long slope with a crest somewhere ahead.  He could almost see a top to it.  This was
a relief, to have a definite, clear goal.  "So, let's get walking," he said.  To
himself he added, maybe they'd find Necroma, too.  He tried to focus--hard--on
expecting to find Necroma just over the crest of the hill.
     When he tripped for the second time, his foot catching on something, he looked
down.  How could ferns trip him?  Well, obviously they could, since--  There were
brambles twisting through the ferns.  He rubbed his ankle.  Thorny brambles.  The one
winding around his feet waved a leaf or two in the faint breeze (the first breeze he
could recall in a long time) and burst into bloom.  Roses?  What would roses being
doing here?  But the five-petaled flowers were unmistakable, and their scent drifted
upward, sweet, getting heavier by the minute as more blossoms appeared, spreading
through the ferns, turning the long slope ahead of them from dim brown ferns to a
carpet of white and pink.
     Young Joan coughed.  "It's a trap--"
     "Maybe not," Cloudrider said.  "Expectations are the important thing here, and
you don't want to go expecting traps wherever you turn.  This is probably just... the
landscape dressing up to look less dreary.  It's trying to be friendly.  Welcoming."
     The look Joan sent him just about shouted that she thought he was crazy, but at
least she didn't say anything discouraging out loud.
     The young gladiator patted one of the flowers and straightened to stare at the
horizon.  "I expect we'll find Necroma waiting for us just over that ridge," he said.
"I'm sure of it."
                      ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Necroma poured all the energy she could command into the spell she'd cobbled
together.  She didn't know if it would work to summon herself to some other location,
but what else could she try?  What did she have to lose?  Limbo was boring.  She
wanted OUT.
     There was a feeling of... it was odd.  Strange.  Like being a pitcher tipped
over to let water pour out.  Or maybe a flowing stream plunging over a cliff.
Definitely movement.  For sure, of magical power from her through the spell.  Of
herself... hard to tell.  It wasn't like limbo gave you any reference points to
figure against.
     But something was definitely rushing somewhere.  It sounded more like wind than
running water, now that she thought about it.  Did birds hear rushing winds when they
flew?  Was she flying?  There was nothing to see, still, and she'd always thought the
best part of flying might be the view.
     The grayness of limbo began to change, so slowly that at first she didn't
realize what was happening.  Darker.  Going toward... reddish black "overhead," if
that term had meaning.  Reddish brown "below."  Or maybe she had the directions
reversed, and the reddish brown was her "sky," because pinky-white stars were winking
open across it.  Her movement changed, as well, so that she no longer felt she was
flying:  now, she was falling, and toward that white-starred brownness.
     She landed with a thump and a yelp as the briars embraced her.

Early June 09
Spotlight for 15, 28, 29

             + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Edge of Night #38 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Somewhere else:

     "Leave them be!" Arhazul roared.
     "They are interlopers--mortals!  They are our meat--"
     "They are mine, Triforos."
     "It is unlike you to refuse to share, Arhazul.  We have long been allies, have
we not?"
     "The matter is not simple.  They are... envoys from the mortal realm.  From...
the Malcorn."
     A long silence.  "Oh."  More silence.  "It is unlike the Malcorn to send others
to do his errands."
     "I believe the Malcorn to be fully occupied on another aspect of this problem--"
     "Leaving his mortal realm unguarded?"  The voice became eager.  "Perhaps we
could--"
     A third voice, heavier, darker.  "That is short-sighted.  So the Malcorn is busy
now.  It will return.  The Malcorn always returns.  What is the nature of the
problem, that it should concern us?"
     "It appears that Doors have been opened, and oaths have been broken, my Lord
Chorzelan.  Specifically, those Doors and oaths with which the Malcorn has always
been concerned.  I have questioned these mortals, and they are in agreement, further,
I can detect no deception in their answers.  Oaths have been broken by those who
dwell in the Silent Place--"
     "The Silent Place has long been sealed, so that only the most powerful of
necromancers could breach the barrier.  Surely no mortal would be so foolish?"
     "Surely mortals *would* be so foolish," the second voice, the one 'their' demon
called Triforos, countered.  "Such foolishness has always been their specialty.  It
is amazing that any survive."
     "They are not the only fools in the multiverse," Chorzelan said.  "All oath-
breakers are fools.  That those who dwell in the Silent Place have broken their oath
is not good, but what business is that of ours?  We are not charged with guarding the
oath.  It is the Malcorn's business."
     "The Malcorn cannot be in two places at once, any more than one of us can, and
doubtless it feels that, while closing the Door is critical--as we know it is--this
other matter is nearly as important."
     "Still, why should we--?" Triforos began.
     "I see a certain value in performing a service for the Malcorn.  In placing the
Malcorn in our debt."
     "I do not believe the Malcorn will think in terms of 'debt'," Chorzelan said.
"But a reputation for having been... helpful may stand as a shield to us at some
later date.  Tell us more exactly what the Malcorn wants."  Blackwind felt
Something's attention shift to him and Redfox.  "Or let these 'envoys' tell us."
     Blackwind braced himself.  He and Redfox--and Agro--didn't actually KNOW what
Lord Malcorn expected them to accomplish here, so how could they answer--
     "They were not told," Arhazul said.  "I determined it from the air that clung to
their skins."
     Blackwind blinked and glanced at Redfox.  The Rirorni shrugged.
     A limb, not quite a tentacle but not quite an arm, came out of... the "sky" or
somewhere else that seemed to be "above" them, and extended a digit.  Touched
Blackwind's head, the Redfox's arm where the nighthunter had clawed it, dabbling in
the blood.  Withdrew.
     "Yes," the Chorzelan voice said, "I perceive that you have deduced correctly.
Very well.  I authorize you, Arhazul, and also you, Triforos, to deal with this in
whatever way you must, up to... the Third Level of Force, I believe should be
sufficient.  I shall arrange that your authorization is declared in the proper
places.  Begin at once."
     Blackwind had the clear sense of a great pressure departing.  Or the pressure of
a great presence departing.  Anyway, it was easier to breathe now.  If they were
breathing and not just going through the motions in this weird place.
     "We will go to the Silent Place," Arhazul said.  "These two, being mortal, will
be our keys to open the way."
     "With blood?" Triforos asked.  Again that eager note.  A blood-hungry demon.
     Blackwind would prefer not to give his life--or Redfox's, or even Agro's--to
accomplish their mission, although, since they were all three Lords Protector,
resurrection was available to them.  Probably available.  If nothing happened to
their souls while their bodies were 'incapacitated'.  He could feel the hilt of his
sword pressing against his ribs as he lay on the surface, floor, whatever it was, and
that was a comfort.  If he did have to die, he wouldn't go easily.
     Arhazul's voice, cold, ironic.  "You see a long-term benefit in breaking the
Malcorn's chosen tools?"
     "The Malcorn might well die in closing the Door!"
     "So?  The Malcorn always returns.  Always, Triforos.  It is that you are young,
I suppose, scarcely half a millennia.  You will learn.  Come."
     Again the feeling of being drawn through the "air" by the collars.  This time it
seemed to Blackwind that they were going... down.  Not falling, but approaching
something that could be considered a "lower level."  Alastari, he hoped.
     A sudden rush of wind, real wind that smelled of night and trees.  Another
jolting impact, cushioned by drifted leaves.  They even smelled like leaves.  He took
a deep breath.  Oak and pine and twilight.  Nothing had ever smelled so good before.
Felt Agro let go of his ankle and roll away.
     "This is the Silent Place that we visited before with Wolf," the Croc said.  "I
did not like it then, but I am glad to be here now."
     "I'd really like to know why Wolf came here to begin with," Blackwind said.
"Why he brought the Dark Stranger to Malcorn.  It sounds like the Stranger might be
an enemy."
     "There will have been a good reason," Redfox said.
     "Yes, but didn't he say anything, give any explanation?" the Malcornishman
pressed.
     Redfox laughed, coughed, and sat up, one hand going to his neck.  The collar was
gone, Blackwind saw, and felt for his own.  Also gone.  "You don't know Uncle Wolf!
Explain a shaman's business to a mere warrior?  Not likely."  The Rirorni held up his
hand.  "And, no, I didn't really ask.  I don't understand a shaman's work, so how
could I expect to understand his answer?  But Lord Malcorn went along with it."
     A swirl of darkness.  "Yes, the barrier around the Silent Place is breached.  It
has been open for months."  Triforos, suddenly uncertain.  "Except that it is not
exactly open, just... not sealed.  I do not understand this."
     "Broken by someone who could close but not seal it," Arhazul said.  "Then more
recently opened and closed again.  No more than a handful of nights ago, the second
opening."
     "That would have been Uncle Wolf," Redfox said.  "We were here a few nights ago.
Uncle Wolf opened it, and the Dark Stranger came out.  We took the Stranger to Lord
Malcorn, and I suppose it is still with them, wherever they have gone."
     "A clever trap," Arhazul said.  "This one you call the Stranger would not
readily have entered the presence of the Malcorn, with oath-breaking on its heart,
save if it believed the sin unknown.  The Malcorn will know how to deal with it."
     "I hope that Stranger is bound in a place of torment for ages," Triforos said.
     "Truly, so do I," Arhazul agreed.  "It must have had knowledge of the oath-
breaking even if it did not act personally, for it is of high rank among those who
dwell in the Silence.  If it had knowledge and did nothing, then it gave consent.
Whereby all on our plane are endangered, from the lowest night-hunter to the greatest
of us, even Lord Chorzelan."
     "It is a bad thing," Triforos agreed.  "Let us abate it then, without further
nattering."
     A truly horrible sound that Blackwind decided was Arhazul's laughter.  "We deal
with the mortal realm now, Triforos, and 'nattering' is required."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 619): KEEL HAULER of SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 621): CARLOTTA of SWEET MAGIC (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 615): NECROPALYSE of DARK CREATION (H.P.L. West, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 617): MAREY D'NUIT of PUNNY ANIMALS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 615): TIBERIUS of FIELDS OF ELYSIUM (Caesar, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 613): ARCHIPPUS of TROUBLED WATERS (Anti, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 307): CASH MEALS of EXPENSE ACCOUNT (Finance Manager, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 606): LIME of WILL DUEL 4 MEAD (Sporkis, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 304): ULL HARDHAMMER of THE STORMBRINGERS (High Lord Bosk)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 603): ANDRONICUS of THE REPUBLIC (Caesar, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 601): PITT of STORM BRINGERS (The Rake, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 592): MURSKAN PATRIOT of URBAN JUNGLE (Jugger, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 554): HAWK NELSON of POSITIVE ALTERNATIVE (Zalgor Prigg)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 282): JACOB MARLEY of PHANTOM REGIMENT (Nomad, mgr.)
 DM  47 DOUBLE X (turn 276): JUSTICE FOR ALL of OF WOLF AND MAN (Tripwire, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 263): C.H.S. of LIFE IMPACTS (Smitty, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 482): SPLAT of THEM (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 469): VIKI of SUPERIOR FORCES 1601 (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 449): ZOE ALDIN of MIDDLE WAY 16 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 445): GRIZOLPOP of SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 212): DEATH SUCKS of BLACKMAIL (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAYLA KIV (turn 409): MORO TEN ZORA of SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 402): JAGINRU of SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  78 LIN TIRIAN (turn 391): GABRIELLE REESE of GIRLS X3 (NON, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 507): AIN GOBLINBANE of ECCENTRIC DWARVES (Banthius, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 619): SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 621): DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 615): DARK CREATION (H.P.L. West, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 617): GOLDEN GLADIATORS (Midas, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 615): MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 613): THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 307): ODIN'S CHOSEN (Heathen Hatebred, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 606): MID EARTH (Visionist, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 304): WAR (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 603): DEVIL ADVOCATES (Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 601): THE SEWING CIRCLE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 592): LOST CAUSE (Vol, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 554): LUROCIAN ROYALTY (The Greek Guy, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 282): MIKES HEROES (Mike?, mgr.)
 DM  47 DOUBLE X (turn 276): LAND OF OZ (Oz the All Successful, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 262): CRIMINAL MINDS (?, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 482): INCONSISTENT FURY (Banthius, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 469): ANDORIA (?, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 449): AUTUMN SAGA (?, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 445): MIGHTY DUCKS (Woody, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 212): BLACKMAIL (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAYLA KIV (turn 409): SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 402): SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  78 LIN TIRIAN (turn 391): SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 507): I'M HISTORY et al (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 615): NECROPALYSE of DARK CREATION (H.P.L. West, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 614): QUINTUS of FIELDS OF ELYSIUM (Caesar, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 306): OPASAN of PHANTACITY (Omega, mgr.)
                          MANKILLER of DODGE BULLETS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 606): CALLISTO of VENUSIANS (Venus, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 303): THERMOPYLAE of WAR (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 601): PITT of STORM BRINGERS (The Rake, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 554): HAWK NELSON of POSITIVE ALTERNATIVE (Zalgor Prigg)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 282): SHADOWCAT HAMMER of MUTANT HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  47 DOUBLE X (turn 276): NIKKO of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
                 (turn 275): NILES of SECOND BANANAS (Manniquin, mgr.)
                             BLACKENED of OF WOLF AND MAN (Tripwire, mgr.)
                 (turn 274): KILLING JOKE of INDIFFERENCE (Jekyll, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 468): ACIDULOUS of ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 444): MAN-O-WAR of TIL DEATH DO US PART (Killjoy, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAYLA KIV (turn 409): MORO TEN ZORA of SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 402): JAGINRU of SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     It is I, Novgorodny Vir, Spymaster of Spymasters.  Look on my work, ye mighty, 
and despair!  Nothing is certain in LAPUR, with changing loyalties, changing 
Duelmasters.  Write this down:  new top team--CARDOW HUNTERS.  Those betting on FORCE 
OF NATURE lost their shirt, as FORCE OF NATURE lost their fighting abilities:  1-3-0. 
What's a move up by 6 you ask?  (alright, maybe you didn't ask)  Cause for 
celebration, according to BLACK KELTS.  Say what you will about blind luck and dirty 
fighting, but STREET WALKERS will tell you 555-376-46 is nothing to laugh at...  
STREET WALKERS had cause to celebrate, after FELICIA got 18 points by beating ICE 
SHARD.  A certain someone should cut down on the drinking and practice more, after 
losing 11 points to FELICIA.  (Discrete enough, ICE SHARD?) In LAPUR, nothing is 
permanent (except Death), and we find ourselves a new Duelmaster, CALLISTO.  Word has 
it one team in LAPUR is using psychics to predict wins.  They lead a charmed life!   
     And how sociable are LAPUR's warriors?  Come, let us see.  Perhaps the warriors 
of EQUESTORS should take up some hobbies, as they are the most avoided team...  As a 
woman of good breeding scorns the "warriors" of WILL DUEL 4 MEAD, so did that sorry 
team shy from EQUESTORS If challenges were horses, FYRE RAYNES could open up a fast 
food joint!  Do my ears deceive me?  VON GROV (outclassed by 35 points) challenged 
RED HOT CHILI, in what promises to be a fight.(!) Like a fly challenging a 
flyswatter, VON GROV challenged RED HOT CHILI, and got squashed.  We sadists got a 
kick out it!  (as did VON GROV)  
     The moving sword slashes, and having slashed, moves on...  Q:  What's a record 
like 6-5-0 get you?  A:  A free trip to the Dark Arena!  This week's winner:  HIMEKO 
of WILL DUEL 4 MEAD!  BROWN BEAVER of BLACK KELTS sends RAW of TRAIL OF TEARS goes to 
the Weary Warrior's Retirement Home.  LAPUR has no place for weaklings!  Never one to 
advocate diplomacy and restraint, I was pleased to see BLACK KELTS retaliate against 
CLAN CROW in bloodfeud!  Ask not a spymaster for counsel, for he will pontificate 
long after you have fallen into an unconscious stupor.   
     All good things must come to an end.  My fingers tire and I fear my incessant 
prattling may cause unfair judgement upon my impeccable character.  Can anything 
compare to the pleasure of writing Spyreports for LAPUR?  On that giddy note I take 
my leave-- Novgorodny Vir  

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NEEDS SALT 5206              13   3  0   109       BOHICA (449)
 RED HOT CHILI 5202           12   4  0   109       BOHICA (449)
 MAKADOS 4704                 12   3  0   101       PHILANTHROPISTS (407)
 LITERNIUS 5049               18  25  1    94       EQUESTORS (158)
 FELICIA 1693                 11   6  1    93       STREET WALKERS (97)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GLAUCO 5102                  19  17  1    92       EQUESTORS (158)
 CLOUDSHADOW 5154             19  11  0    92       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 A.A. SHOCK 5054              17  24  3    92       FORCE OF NATURE (312)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 COLOSSUS 556                 18  23  4    87       X-MEN (78)
 LIME 5178                    13   4  0    86       WILL DUEL 4 MEAD (282)
 NAILIN' PALIN 5302           10   3  0    84       STREET WALKERS (97)
 MAD DOG 5125                 18  15  0    81       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 ICE SHARD 5191               14  11  1    79       FORCE OF NATURE (312)
 HORN ROCK 5113               17  18  0    78       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 LUNA 5179                    11   7  0    78       WILL DUEL 4 MEAD (282)
 ATRIA 5101                   19  17  1    77       VENUSIANS (321)
 JOHN COURAGE 3313            15  12  0    76       BLACK KELTS (233)
 VON GROV 3337                14  14  0    70       TRAIL OF TEARS (229)
-COPPER COMPACTER 5092        15  14  0    67       METAL MINCERS (256)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 YURI 5188                    11   6  2    66       WILL DUEL 4 MEAD (282)
 BISHOP 5300                   6   8  1    66       X-MEN (78)
 ILLYRIA 5149                 16  14  0    64       VENUSIANS (321)
-INCONEL INDENTER 4324         8   3  1    59       METAL MINCERS (256)
 STARRY NITE 5186             16  10  0    58       FORCE OF NATURE (312)
 VINDOCOMUS 5251              11   8  0    58       EQUESTORS (158)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SMACK O'MALLEY 5282           7   5  0    56       CLAN CROW (456)
 REVY 5344                     6   1  0    51       WILL DUEL 4 MEAD (282)
-MEAT POPSICLE 5309            4   5  0    50       BOHICA (449)
 SALAMANDER 4165               5   5  0    49       TRAIL OF TEARS (229)
 JAILYN 5354                   6   0  1    46       MID EARTH (223)
 JULIANUS 5321                 6   3  0    46       EQUESTORS (158)
 ENCOLPIUS 5268               11   6  0    45       EQUESTORS (158)
 LUHAR 5244                   10  10  2    42       MID EARTH (223)
 LUCKY EIREANN 5285            6   5  2    42       CLAN CROW (456)
 GILAN 5242                    9  11  1    41       MID EARTH (223)
 DARK UNCLE 2168               4  14  0    37       X-MEN (78)
 BAD YEAR 5298                 2   1  0    37       2008 (450)
-SHANGGAR 4703                 3   3  0    34       PHILANTHROPISTS (407)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DEATHWIND FORGE 5283          5   6  0    33       CLAN CROW (456)
-CHROME CUTTER 5316            5   2  0    33       METAL MINCERS (256)
 GEMINI 5364                   2   2  0    33       ZODIAC (459)
-LAST BUSH 5352                1   0  1    33       2008 (450)
-SILVER SAW 5287               5   5  0    32       METAL MINCERS (256)
-IRON IMPACTER 5315            5   3  0    30       METAL MINCERS (256)
 FYRE RAYNES 5341              4   3  0    30       FORCE OF NATURE (312)
 MOJO 5340                     5   2  0    28       X-MEN (78)
 RINDEL 5346                   4   3  0    25       MID EARTH (223)
 GAMBIT 5372                   3   1  1    24       X-MEN (78)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SOLAR RADIATION 5308          5   8  0    23       VENUSIANS (321)
 ALHENA 5291                   4  11  0    23       VENUSIANS (321)
 BROWN BEAVER 5358             3   3  1    23       BLACK KELTS (233)
-CAPTAIN PICARD 5384           2   0  0    23       TREKKERS (462)
 SAGITARIUS 5365               2   2  0    22       ZODIAC (459)
 WATERSTONE 5317               5   5  0    21       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 BIMBO SLICE 5386              2   1  0    21       STREET WALKERS (97)
 BOOKABOUTBIRDS 4787           2   5  0    21       TRAIL OF TEARS (229)
 MISS FRIENDLY FIRE 5396       2   0  0    20       STREET WALKERS (97)
-IZALOR 4702                   1   0  0    17       PHILANTHROPISTS (407)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CANCER 5363                   2   2  0    16       ZODIAC (459)
 DUNWICH HORROR 5391           1   0  1    13       CREATURE FEATURE (463)
 BUTTERFLY 5388                1   1  0    13       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 FAYLIN O'COMMA 5322           2   6  0    12       CLAN CROW (456)
 NULDOR 5374                   3   1  0    11       MID EARTH (223)
 LARD SPRINKLE 5359            2   1  0    11       BOHICA (449)
 WHIP ME HOUSTON 5397          1   1  0    11       STREET WALKERS (97)
 RED SQUIRREL 5357             2   4  0    10       BLACK KELTS (233)
 LEO 5395                      1   0  0    10       ZODIAC (459)
-LIETENANT WORF 5383           2   0  0     9       TREKKERS (462)
 SONTE HINGE 3455              1   6  0     9       BLACK KELTS (233)
-NOVEMBER 5361                 1   0  0     9       2008 (450)
 URLIC MAC COOL 5373           2   1  0     7       CLAN CROW (456)
-CAPTAIN KIRK 5382             1   1  0     7       TREKKERS (462)
 LIBRA 5366                    1   3  0     6       ZODIAC (459)
 REPTILICUS 5390               1   0  0     6       CREATURE FEATURE (463)
-COMMANDER RIKER 5381          1   1  0     4       TREKKERS (462)
-MR. SPOCK 5380                0   2  0     2       TREKKERS (462)
 THE BLOB 5389                 0   1  0     1       CREATURE FEATURE (463)
 SNOWDROP 5400                 0   1  0     1       TRAIL OF TEARS (229)
 WOLFMAN 5393                  0   1  0     1       CREATURE FEATURE (463)
 THE BRIDE 5392                0   1  0     1       CREATURE FEATURE (463)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
72 5353                 0  3 0 2008 450             DUSKBLOOD TROLL       607  NONE
WHITE ROBE 3421         3  5 2 BLACK KELTS 233      LUCKY EIREANN 5285    605  JUST REVENGED
SCHADENFREUDE 5387      1  2 0 BOHICA 449           DUNWICH HORROR 5391   607   
RAW 4173                4  5 0 TRAIL OF TEARS 229   BROWN BEAVER 5358     607   
HIMEKO 5247             6  6 0 WILL DUEL 4 MEAD 282 ARENAMASTER KYAL      607  NONE
PISCES 5362             0  1 0 ZODIAC 459           JAILYN 5354           604   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Von Grov -- Gilan and his silly talk of those damn chickens last turn distracted me.
Well fought. -- Luhar the Unfocused

Revy -- And the undefeated streak comes to a sudden halt.  Who's your daddy now!?! --
Gilan the Arse

Mr Spock -- I wonder who that was in the stands calling you a stupid idiot.  Bones
perhaps? -- Rindel the Logical

Fyre Raynes -- I am glad your survived, till we meet again. -- Jailyn the Vanquisher

Waterstone -- Guess I am not experienced enough yet to try something new. -- Nuldor
the Inept

All -- I made an error in the reporting of the Lapurian Awards last week, Force of
Nature did not tie Cardow Hunters for the Iron Team Award.  Cardow Hunters was the
only team to fight 130 fights during this past year, my aplogies. -- Visionist

Lapurian Managers new and old -- Please let me remind you all of the three rules of
Aimed Blows.  1. Aimed Blows DIE!  2. Aimed Blows DIE ALOT!  3. Never DA an Aimed
Blow, because they are likely to die next turn anyway.  I wish all of you good luck,
unfortunately as many of you know the higher powers of Lapur are frequently unkind.
-- Visionist

All -- Are you serious?!  The worst winning percentage in Lapur for 2008?  41%  Oh,
man... I should hang this career up.  It might be time to sell this team off.  Wonder
what I can get for it...? -- Storm Front, mgr. Force of Nature

Jailyn -- Good challenge.  I wouldn't mind having another go at it in a few turns. --
Fyre Raynes

Gemini -- What kind of a sicko makes a match-up like that?  At least I made the crowd
laugh with my antics of trying to pull the back-up weapon. -- Starry Nite

M. Chardinee -- I do not mind the wins, but really... should a warrior really have to
fight more than two of you house warriors in a career?  Please ask your team to avoid
me. -- Ice Shard

     As if!

Glauco -- Not the outcome I expected when I saw I drew you... but defeating an
opponent who has given me multiple losses in the past is still a sweet revenge. --
A.A. Shock

Ora -- 2-36?  Are you sure?  By the reports I received we did better than 2 wins.  In
adepts alone Cuddle Me Tender went 4-3, albeit then died, Felicia went 4-3, Goldie
had two wins as did Vindocomus... even if I discount the obvious tourney teams I see
no less than 18 wins... still a sad turnout, but not a despairing as 2 wins. -- Storm
Front

Inconel Indenter -- I have much respect for your manager, so any win against the
borgs makes me feel like I am not as lost I feel sometimes... although, some would
argue that even a blind squirrel finds a nut every so often. -- Ice Shard

Chrome Cutter -- I may have had the edge, but I most likely will not use it again...
at least not that particular edge.  Good luck... I hope to see you on the Isle one
day. -- Fyre Raynes

Mad Dog -- Anything that puts a hash mark in the "W" column is shocking to me these
days.  At this point I just want to get out of this arena... earn my immortality and
let Storm Front select a better fighter to replace me. -- A.A.

Nailin' Palin -- Wahoo!  I am outta here, thanks for the lift! -- Callisto

Julianus -- If I could have lasted just a bit longer, I know I would have had ya.
Okay, maybe not, but it makes me feel better to think so. -- Solar Radiation

Bad Year -- Well crap, my manager is starting to get that scary gleam in her eye when
she looks my way.  Thanks, thanks a lot. -- Alhena

Luna -- My apologies, it was my mission to keep you busy while Illyria sacked your
room to look for her missing leg.  Turns out a crazed fan had taken it; I'll not say
what he was using it for.  I Hope she didn't make too much of a mess. -- Atria

Yuri -- I really thought you had me... that first minute was brutal.  I'd say come
back anytime, but I am pretty sure the outcome would be much different. -- Illyria

Makados -- You're welcome, and you're welcome, and you're welcome, and you're
welcome, and you're welcome... there one for each skill I taught you, I wish I could
have said thank you at least once. -- Felicia

Callisto -- That fight could have gone either way until it said "the time for the
fight has come", after that it was all down hill for me. -- Palin

Raw -- Geez, I like a good old fashion slugfest but I didn't that one ever end. --
Bimbo Slice

72 -- You know the saying, keep your friends close and your enemies closer?  For some
reason my friends want nothing to do with me. -- Miss Friendly Fire

November -- My manager tells me that was one of the most exciting fights he's watched
in quite some time, well done! -- Whip Me Houston

Visionist -- Thanks for compiling the 2008 Lapurian awards, and thanks for reminding
the Street Walkers about their mediocre year. -- Roadkill

Congrats to Lime on the title.  Has Sporkis made furneral arrangements yet? --
Roadkill

Callisto -- Good luck on the Isle, and congrats. -- Roadkill

All -- Well done on the recent columns and spotlights. -- Roadkill

Lapur -- Regardless of what managers consider as a down challenge, I truly hope
posting a warriors stats in the newletter doesn't become a trend. -- Roadkill

Comicbookaboutbirds -- That was more like a short story, wasn't it?  *snicker*  Thank
you, thank you, I'm here all week. -- Lard Sprinkle

Mad Dog -- It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in
the dog.  Woof!  Wolf!  Down boy! -- Needs Salt

Liternius -- C'mon, be fair.  I wasn't COMPLETELY naked; I wore flip-flops.  And
let's not forget the image of Spartacus I have tattooed between the cheeks of my
backside. -- Infamously yours, Needs Salt

Colossus -- I'm too sexy for this shirt, too sexy for this shirt, so sexy it hurts
(you)! -- RHC

Stormfront -- RHC RCH yeah, no excuse.  Too many whacks in the noggin from AA's
lighting-quick weapon, I think. -- Scruffy

Alehena -- My Manager was talking about how lovly the stars where for night fighting.
Said soon I was going to earn the right to be able to compete with the elite night
fighters. -- Brown Beaver

HIMEKO -- Glad the Black Kelts Training school was once more open for business for
you.  LOL. -- John Courage
 
SCHADENFREUDE -- Hey quit showing people how bad I suck.  My record shows it well
enou wears chain mail and no helm and fights with a halberd.  Then again I could have
that all messed up. -- Red Squirrel

ALL -- We are starting to see some activities on filling the available spaces in the
Market Square.  If you have not requested a Map from myself or the powers that be you
can still get them at the introductory price.  They include a map to the homes of
Sporkis, Oremaster, Visionist and Spartacus.  Included is a coupon for a Bowl Soup at
Luca's Kitchen.  We also have thrown in a one time free sharpening on any knife
smaller than your hand at Albert's Forge. -- Tiffinal
"Food for Thought Builds better brains"

Needs Salt -- Nah, too much salt just makes me thirsty.  Trust me on this, what it
NEEDS is ketchup. -- Mad Dog 

Copper Compactor -- Too much compaction leads to short circuits. -- Cloudshadow

Salamander -- You know... I think maybe you need salt!  Sorry, couldn't resist that
one.  Probably because we waited till late at night to get on with these personals.
Seriously, for a lizard, you're hot stuff, but--  What, I can't even get away with
that one?  Well, darn.  Good fight. -- Horn Rock

Nuldor -- As names go, that one would make a great villain.  If you have time in your
busy schedule, you might check in at the Villains R Us office and see if you can pick
up a paying day job.  Always handy, paying jobs, day OR night. -- Waterstone

Captain Kirk -- Somehow, I pictured you as being taller. -- Butterfly
P.S.  I'm surprised we didn't both come out pegged as dwarves!

Storm Front -- Ah, the old "you could do better if you'd just TRY" bit.  AA has my
sympathies, that's a horrible burden to put onto anyone. -- Mad Dog

Atria -- Er, ah, now I'm afraid to say anything lest I mess up.  Could I interest you
in a romantic night on the town? -- Mad Dog

Atria -- Watch out he doesn't mean "a night checking out all the best lampposts" and
so on. -- Cloudshadow 

Chetam -- You mean cows DON'T grow on trees?  Huh.  Well, what does?  Whatever, I'll
take some of that instead, if that's what you've got. -- Red Bull

Our congratulations to Callisto. -- Jorja and the Cardow Hunters

Callisto -- Tell me YOU don't want cows?  Really, I don't "do" cows. -- Chetam, Odd
Job man for Lapur Arena (and some of the jobs are really odd)

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

HIMEKO was butchered by ARENAMASTER KYALL in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
72 was barely slain by DUSKBLOOD TROLL in a 2 minute Dark Arena battle.
JOHN COURAGE handily defeated LUCKY EIREANN in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud match.
MAKADOS viciously subdued LITERNIUS in a popular 2 minute master's Challenge brawl.
NEEDS SALT demolished A.A. SHOCK in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
VON GROV was vanquished by RED HOT CHILI in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
FELICIA viciously subdued ICE SHARD in a 6 minute veteran's Challenge competition.
SMACK O'MALLEY was vanquished by LUNA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
REVY narrowly defeated GILAN in a 5 minute gruesome Challenge duel.
DARK UNCLE was defeated by JAILYN in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
BISHOP savagely defeated STARRY NITE in a popular 2 minute gory Challenge melee.
BROWN BEAVER savagely slew RAW in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody Challenge match.
SONTE HINGE was devastated by MISS FRIENDLY FIRE in a 2 minute Challenge battle.
RINDEL viciously subdued CANCER in a crowd pleasing 5 minute bloody Challenge bout.
MOJO luckily beat BIMBO SLICE in a popular 4 minute Challenge duel.
DEATHWIND FORGE devastated SOLAR RADIATION in a 2 minute brutal uneven Challenge duel.
LARD SPRINKLE was devastated by FYRE RAYNES in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
URLIC MAC COOL was overpowered by BAD YEAR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
SAGITARIUS overpowered RED SQUIRREL in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
LIME was handily defeated by CALLISTO in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
COLOSSUS was overpowered by GLAUCO in a 1 minute uneven fight.
NAILIN' PALIN subdued ATRIA in a action packed 3 minute bout.
CLOUDSHADOW vanquished ILLYRIA in a 2 minute mismatched fray.
MAD DOG overpowered STRIKE BREAKER in a popular 1 minute one-sided match.
HORN ROCK won victory over M. CHARDINEE in a 2 minute match.
SALAMANDER overpowered LUHAR in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
YURI overpowered ENCOLPIUS in a 1 minute brutal uneven match.
VINDOCOMUS won victory over GEMINI in a exciting 1 minute veteran vs. beginner fray.
JULIANUS handily defeated WATERSTONE in a 1 minute gory one-sided duel.
BOOKABOUTBIRDS defeated ALHENA in a 2 minute gruesome duel.
FAYLIN O'COMMA was defeated by BUTTERFLY in a 1 minute match.
LIBRA was demolished by GAMBIT in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
NULDOR beat THE BLOB in a action packed 1 minute novice's bout.
SCHADENFREUDE was killed by DUNWICH HORROR in a 3 minute beginner's contest.
WHIP ME HOUSTON overpowered WOLFMAN in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
THE BRIDE was demolished by LEO in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
REPTILICUS overcame SNOWDROP in a 2 minute novice's fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  13         TOTAL PARRY       42 -  31 -  0      58  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 11         PARRY-STRIKE      16 -  13 -  0      55  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  10         SLASHING ATTACK   24 -  23 -  0      51  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         STRIKING ATTACK   57 -  56 -  2      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                       7         AIMED BLOW        39 -  40 -  2      49  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      6         WALL OF STEEL     17 -  19 -  4      47  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         LUNGING ATTACK    54 -  66 -  0      45  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         BASHING ATTACK    36 -  45 -  3      44  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-LUNGE       17 -  27 -  0      39  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         PARRY-RIPOSTE     10 -  16 -  1      38  |

Turn 607 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

STRIKING ATTACK    8 -  3     LUNGING ATTACK     5 -  8         3  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY        5 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  4         3  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     3 -  7         2  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  3         2  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         4 -  3                                       1  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        3 -  3     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  NEEDS SALT 5206            13   3  0  109 BOHICA (449)
TOTAL PARRY      MAKADOS 4704               12   3  0  101 PHILANTHROPISTS (407)
BASHING ATTACK   GLAUCO 5102                19  17  1   92 EQUESTORS (158)
AIMED BLOW       CLOUDSHADOW 5154           19  11  0   92 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
LUNGING ATTACK   MAD DOG 5125               18  15  0   81 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
PARRY-STRIKE     ICE SHARD 5191             14  11  1   79 FORCE OF NATURE (312)
SLASHING ATTACK  REVY 5344                   6   1  0   51 WILL DUEL 4 MEAD (282)
WALL OF STEEL    LUCKY EIREANN 5285          6   5  2   42 CLAN CROW (456)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is LITERNIUS 5049.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was FELICIA 1693.  The ten other most popular fighters were CANCER 5363, BIMBO SLICE 
5386, ATRIA 5101, LITERNIUS 5049, BISHOP 5300, MAKADOS 4704, JAILYN 5354, HORN ROCK 
5113, 72 5353, and ICE SHARD 5191.

The least popular fighter this week was THE BRIDE 5392.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were WOLFMAN 5393, LIBRA 5366, WATERSTONE 5317, ENCOLPIUS 5268, LUHAR 5244, 
ILLYRIA 5149, COLOSSUS 556, LIME 5178, RED SQUIRREL 5357, and SOLAR RADIATION 5308.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

CALLISTO (29-5036) VENUSIANS (321)