DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 03/09/2011    Duedate: 03/22/2011

LAPUR ARENA

DM-29    TURN-653

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

CARNAGE
SERPENTS HOLD (470)
(29-5593) [11-2-0,120]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

CARNAGE                        FLIE
SERPENTS HOLD (470)            DAGGERS DEEP (468)
(29-5593) [11-2-0,120]         (29-5488) [2-1-0,30]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

LHISSON                        STORMRIDER
MID EARTH (223)                CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
(29-5456) [21-17-0,87]         (29-5520) [9-16-0,43]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

SERPENTS HOLD (470)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. STREET WALKERS (97)         36
2. TREKKERS (462)              32      BOHICA (449)
3. DAGGERS DEEP (468)          27      Unchartered Team
4. SERPENTS HOLD (470)         20
5. METAL MINCERS (256)         16      DAGGERS DEEP (468)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 BOHICA (449)              95  55  2 63.3   1/ 1 SERPENTS HOLD (470)      12  3 1
 2/ 2 METAL MINCERS (256)      629 424 16 59.7   2/ 2 BOHICA (449)             10  3 0
 3/ 3 STREET WALKERS (97)      674 457 58 59.6   3/ 3 EQUESTORS (158)           7  8 1
 4/ 6*DAGGERS DEEP (468)        11   8  1 57.9   4/ 5 METAL MINCERS (256)       6  1 0
 5/ 4 MID EARTH (223)          581 521 27 52.7   5/ 6 STREET WALKERS (97)       6  4 1
 6/ 5 SERPENTS HOLD (470)       45  41  4 52.3   6/ 9*DAGGERS DEEP (468)        6  4 1
 7/ 7 CLUBS 'N CLONES (469)     48  49  3 49.5   7/ 8*AZEROTANS (476)           6  9 1
 8/ 8 CLAN CROW (456)          117 122  9 49.0   8/ 4 CLAN CROW (456)           5  7 1
 9/ 9 EQUESTORS (158)          839 901 56 48.2   9/ 7 MID EARTH (223)           5 10 0
10/10 TREKKERS (462)            98 110  2 47.1  10/10 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)      4 11 0
11/11 CARDOW HUNTERS (359)     577 696 12 45.3  11/11 TREKKERS (462)            3  9 0
12/ 0 MALIGNANT DECEIT (472)    11  14  1 44.0  12/12 CLUBS 'N CLONES (469)     2  7 0
13/12*AZEROTANS (476)            6   9  1 40.0  13/ 0 MALIGNANT DECEIT (472)    1  0 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 665): SHORT SKIRT of HOT STUFF (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 667): HULL SCRUBBER of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  13 DULLENS (turn 564): THUMBSCREWS of THE CONFESSIORS (?, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 661): POT OF GOLD of RAINBOW CONNECTION (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 663): SARDO GRACKEL of PUNNY AMINALS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 654): SEXTUS of FIELDS OF ELYSIUM (Caesar, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 655): HAIR IN SINK of BASH BRO HOUSEMATE (Assurnasirbanipal)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 330): PATTE DE SAGUAR of THE PENTARCHY (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 652): TRINKET of SERPENTS HOLD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 627): OMBERT QURL of MIDDLE WAY 7 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 649): SLITHER of SERPENTS HOLD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 646): HELEN KELLER of HEROES (?, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 638): HAMMERHEAD of SEA DOGS (One Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 596): DANIEL SILVERLOCK of WARRIORS OF STEEL (?, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 305): CALLOUS CORTNEY of STREET WALKERS (Roadkill, mgr.)
 DM  47 TEMPLE OF ABARSIS (turn 299): ACE FREHLEY of ROYAL FLUSH (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 286): DIRANGO KID of LIFE IMPACTS (Smitty, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 528): GET of BACK (JE, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 513): CATIPILLAR of BUGS, SLUGS & THUGS (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 495): DONNA of DOCTORS (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 489): SSSKAH of CASTAWAYS (She-Puppy, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 235): LILAS KEELER of MIDDLE WAY 18 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAYLA KIV (turn 450): -.... of NUMB-ERS (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 445): DOWNER of KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  78 LIN TIRIAN (turn 467): SJS of J (Sherlock, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 553): SUPERIOR FORCES of DUPLICATE REDUNDANCY (A-Sop, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 665): BLUE MOON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 667): DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  13 DULLENS (turn 564): HARRY POTTER AND THE (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 661): TERMINUS (Carick, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 662): GOLDEN GLADIATORS (Midas, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 654): ALMOST THANKSGIVING (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 655): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 330): DODGE BULLETS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 652): SERPENTS HOLD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 327): MIDDLE WAY 7 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 649): DEVIL ADVOCATES (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 646): HEROES (?, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 638): ON THE ROCKS (Bartender, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 596): IS THAT A CLUE? (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 305): STREET WALKERS (Roadkil, mgr.)
 DM  47 TEMPLE OF ABARSIS (turn 299): OTTODROME TW (Otto X, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 286): LIFE IMPACTS (Smitty, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 528): MIDDLE WAY 20 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 513): RED DOG GANG (Spot, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 495): DOCTORS (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 489): SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 235): MIDDLE WAY 18 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAYLA KIV (turn 450): NUMB-ERS (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 445): KIWI CONNECTION (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  78 LIN TIRIAN (turn 437): SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 553): MIDDLE ITALY et al (The Dark One, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 665): NORTHER of BLUE MOON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  13 DULLENS (turn 564): THUMBSCREWS of THE CONFESSIORS (?, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 663): SARDO GRACKEL of PUNNY AMINALS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 655): MILK IS OUT of BASH BRO HOUSEMATE (Assurnasirbanipal)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 330): PATTE DE SAGUAR of THE PENTARCHY (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 652): TRINKET of SERPENTS HOLD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 327): EXECUTIONER of RETRIBUTION (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM  47 TEMPLE OF ABARSIS (turn 298): SALSA ELEMENTAL of DARQUE FORCES
                                                         (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 285): WHISTLIN DIXIE of DARQUE FORCES II (Master Darque)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 528): DEBRA FARIN of MIDDLE WAY 20 (Jorja, mgr.)
                (turn 527): ERBIN GOETZ of MIDDLE WAY 20 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 488): HARLEQUIN of SERPENTS HOLD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 235): LILAS KEELER of MIDDLE WAY 18 (Jorja, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Hail, Lapur,

     Greetings, fair city!  Looks like I'll be leaving you this cycle.  Shocked that
I graduated this quickly as I'm not the sharpest tool if you know what I mean.  Guess
it helps when the only weapon you can carry ends up being your fave.  :)  Boy, my
faves suck, tho!  VL/VL DA parry learn...  Oh well.  On the fence about retiring.
Maybe I'll beg Khisanth to let me run a bit more.  Deepest apologies to Street
walkers on the kill.  KD was 5 and aim was RA.  Hope the warrior wasn't a godling.
Apologies again.  Well, I'm off to the Isle.  Be well Lapur!!

Trinket

                                      SPY REPORT

     Like the magnificent Sun, rising upon the Dawn and exiling the Night for a Day, 
I, Novgorodny Vir, return once again!  Those betting on CLAN CROW lost their shirt, 
as CLAN CROW lost their fighting abilities:  2-2-0.  Nothing works for a team like 
victory (How's that for a perceptive observation?) as DAGGERS DEEP can attest...  
Practice pays for MISS CONDUCT, who pummelled PRIORE, to pocket 17 points.  A certain 
someone should cut down on the drinking and practice more, after losing 12 points to 
CIGIL ME'BOLLIX.  (Discrete enough, GILLICK?) VERUS found out that LAPUR isn't a 
democracy.  You've gotta be the best to be Duelmaster here!  So who was the warrior 
seen charging into immovable walls and challenging dead trees?  Someone's got a basic 
problem...   
     My mother wished me to avoid conflict, and seek the gentle trade of Spyreporter. 
But warriors aren't supposed to avoid fights!  Like a horde of jackals fleeing from 
the lion, so did the "warriors" in LAPUR avoid SERPENTS HOLD.  The warriors of 
SERPENTS HOLD found their efforts at combat frustrated as BOHICA apparently had more 
important things to do than fight.  Is it charming personality?  Conversational 
abilities?  Good oral hygiene?  Whatever it is, CHROME CUTTER is the most challenged 
warrior.  KICKER MURPHY found himself challenged by a warrior 20 below:  VIEDRAS.  
VIEDRAS of CLUBS 'N CLONES kept hers wits as she lost to KICKER MURPHY.   
     The moving sword slashes, and having slashed, moves on...  Charity is unknown in 
LAPUR, and rightly so.  METAL MINCERS exacted their revenge against EQUESTORS.  Ask 
not for whom the sword slashes; it slashes for thee.   
     All good things must come to an end.  As the seasons change, and the creatures 
of the wild change also, so do I feel a yearning to leave this place.  Like a mixed 
metaphor, and an overtaxed simile, I now bid LAPUR farewell-- Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CARNAGE 5593                 11   2  0   120       SERPENTS HOLD (470)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-INCONEL INDENTER 4324        13   9  1   109       METAL MINCERS (256)
 YARARA 5515                   8   2  1    98       SERPENTS HOLD (470)
 QUARK 5505                   15   9  1    92       TREKKERS (462)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LHISSON 5456                 21  17  0    87       MID EARTH (223)
 MISS CONDUCT 3709             9   1  0    87       STREET WALKERS (97)
 CHROME CUTTER 5316           10   5  0    86       METAL MINCERS (256)
 JEHLCH 5528                  14  10  2    85       MID EARTH (223)
 GILEAN YASUR 5567             8   7  0    83       CLUBS 'N CLONES (469)
-CAIRRAIG AMADAN 5518         11   2  0    79       CLAN CROW (456)
 MENHOIR 5529                 11  13  0    77       MID EARTH (223)
 VERUS 5590                    9   7  1    77       EQUESTORS (158)
 KICKER MURPHY 5622            6   2  1    69       CLAN CROW (456)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SARYN 5552                   11   6  0    66       CLUBS 'N CLONES (469)
 PRIORE 5628                   8   4  0    66       MID EARTH (223)
-BERYLLIUM BUFFER 5592         4   0  1    62       METAL MINCERS (256)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CASIMIR PULASKI 5435          5   3  0    54       BOHICA (449)
 MILEY VIRUS 5588              9   5  0    49       STREET WALKERS (97)
 MARY WANNA 5558              10   9  4    47       STREET WALKERS (97)
-RAPID ADJUSTMENT 5545         5   4  0    44       MALIGNANT DECEIT (472)
 POWDER PUFF 5457              4   1  0    44       BOHICA (449)
 STORMRIDER 5520               9  16  0    43       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
-PAPPADEAUX 5440               5   2  0    43       BOHICA (449)
-BAG OF BONES 5460             4   0  0    43       BOHICA (449)
 HARDWOOD 5611                 7   7  0    41       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 VIEDRAS 5562                  9   7  1    38       CLUBS 'N CLONES (469)
 RUTILIUS 5585                 7  10  1    38       EQUESTORS (158)
 PLUTONIUM PUNCH 5669          4   0  0    38       METAL MINCERS (256)
 CAPT. ANTSY PANTS 5595        8   5  0    37       STREET WALKERS (97)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CIGIL ME'BOLLIX 5658          3   2  0    33       CLAN CROW (456)
 BATTON MS'KELLEY 5607         6   6  1    32       CLAN CROW (456)
 LUCE 5557                     3   1  1    31       MALIGNANT DECEIT (472)
 FLIE 5488                     2   1  0    30       DAGGERS DEEP (468)
 SHARDIN 5486                  2   2  0    28       DAGGERS DEEP (468)
 ANICIUS 5633                  5   6  0    27       EQUESTORS (158)
 SAMM 5489                     3   1  0    27       DAGGERS DEEP (468)
 BROLL BEARMANTLE 5688         2   1  0    27       AZEROTANS (476)
 ARYLYN 5617                   4   5  0    26       CLUBS 'N CLONES (469)
-RAMPER 5555                   3   3  0    26       MALIGNANT DECEIT (472)
 UHURA 5614                    6   7  0    25       TREKKERS (462)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LUCULLUS 5659                 2   5  1    23       EQUESTORS (158)
 RAEDE 5490                    3   1  1    22       DAGGERS DEEP (468)
 ULPHOR 5671                   3   3  1    20       MID EARTH (223)
 LUCILIUS 5646                 4   6  1    19       EQUESTORS (158)
 GILLICK 5656                  3   1  0    18       SERPENTS HOLD (470)
 DANYA 5487                    1   3  0    14       DAGGERS DEEP (468)
 BRLEE 5685                    2   1  1    11       AZEROTANS (476)
 LO'GOSH 5687                  1   2  0    11       AZEROTANS (476)
 GRASSFLOWER 5673              2   3  0     9       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)
 SKIPPY JON JONES 5693         1   1  0     8       BOHICA (449)
 SWEET BIRCH 5691              1   2  0     5       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VALEERA 5686                  1   2  0     5       AZEROTANS (476)
 CLAYBANK 5699                 0   1  0     1       CARDOW HUNTERS (359)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
GIAGO 5689              0  3 0 AZEROTANS 476        SHEWISH GIANT         653  NONE
MAPLESONG 5612          3  8 0 CARDOW HUNTERS 359   ULPHOR 5671           650   
THUNDERBOLD 5573        7 11 0 CARDOW HUNTERS 359   MARY WANNA 5558       652   
TAPPER O'DOOL 5634      3  7 0 CLAN CROW 456        SHEWISH GIANT         653  NONE
ANTIMONY AUGER 5670     0  3 0 METAL MINCERS 256    LUCULLUS 5659         651  JUST REVENGED
EEL 5681                1  2 0 SERPENTS HOLD 470    RIVER MONSTER         653  NONE
NOT PINKY 5698          0  1 0 STREET WALKERS 97    DUSKBLOOD TROLL       653  NONE
AGAIN 5696              0  1 0 TREKKERS 462         HEINOUS BEAST         653  NONE
BONES 5683              0  1 0 TREKKERS 462         RAEDE 5490            651   
GONNA 5694              0  1 0 TREKKERS 462         STONE GOLEM           653  NONE
TRY 5695                0  1 0 TREKKERS 462         DARK CHAMPION         653  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Yo ho ho, ye, Trinket.  Lord Pertecter 'n all.  Salute.  Won't miss ye.  Naye. --
Oremaster and The 'Borgs

Lo'Gosh of Azerotans -- Nothing personal, you know.  That was an unlucky random match
for you.  Better luck next time. -- Plutonium Punch, Metal Mincers

Marry Wanna -- Are you carrying around a despicable disease?  You surely are killing
off the population!  As long as it is not a Mincer... GOOD JOB!  (wink) -- Ora and
The Metal Mincers

Quark -- Thanks for being there for me.  I am just trying to get out of here.
Trying, trying, trying.... -- Inconel Indenter, Metal Mincers

Hey, it may have been small, but we are very pleased to have worked together to
manage a 2-0.  We do have a couple sitting in the "maxed chamber" awaiting The
Mailer. -- Ora and Oremaster

(Out of the side of his mouth and quietly)  Women!  This'n old miner does alla work
and it be "we".  Aye.  Ye know... my checkbook and our checkbook. -- Oremaster

Khisanth -- Ye snake!  That be too many points ta score, ye know?  No more.  Naye. --
Oremaster
P.S.  But mabbe yer DM Column bea good'n?

Thunderbold -- I sure am. -- Bertllium Buffer

All -- We've been kinda out of the loop for a few turns, but now that the outside
interference has calmed down to a reasonable level, we're back.  First of all,
welcome Azerotans to the sands of Lapur; we look forward to crossing blades with you.
Also, a big welcome back to Scruffy Puff and Bohica... it didn't take long for us to
clash on the sands again now did it? -- Roadkill and the Street Walkers

Visionist -- Thanks again for hosting the Lapurian Awards, our votes should be cast
next turn. -- Roadkill

Trinket -- Now why did you have to go and do that?????  Pinky was 9-13-9-17-15-4-17
PR who was learning almost 3 skills/fight....  I'm so depressed right now, thanks a
lot!  Honor demands we at least try and avenge her, so I'm sending the best of what I
have left, try not to kill this as well. -- Roadkill

Thunderbold and Cardow Hunters - Nowhere in that fight did it say I was trying to

kill, nor did I fight with a deadly bloodlust in my eyes, and yet he dies on the way
to the infirmary... health coverage in this city is downright terrible.  I salute
your fallen comrade, and await retributions for my actions. -- Mary Wanna

Uhura -- I must admit, I'm impressed.  Not too many fighters can leap aside and parry
an attack 3 times WHILE ON YOUR BACK!  What are you, part mexican jumping bean? --
Miley Virus

Casimir -- What am I, your private tutor?  Geez... I feel so violated, and in this
line of business that's not easy. -- Miss Conduct

Pappadeaux -- Ow! -- Capt. Antsy Pants
P.S.  I was told I couldn't call you a $%@#%, whose mother should have %#$%#^ because
&$(*#$$%$ you miserable *&$%&&*^.  Have a Nice %#$&$# Day.

     Well said?  Well not-said?

Priore --  Not so brave lad, you be the only one even close in FE so me not be down
challengin.  Owsly frowns O' bit on that. -- Kicker

Owsly -- I dannae want ta go ta the Dark Arena!  Me promise not ta slack again and me
be cuttin back on me booze too!  Gimme another shot! -- Tapper O'dool

Tapper -- Nay, lad, ye cannae get ye act together; ye got ta go!  If ye come back me
might reconsider but ye odds dannae be ta good. -- Owsly

Captured Orc Obituary by Kicker -- Aye he be a good Captured Orc.  It dannae be his
fault they captured him and threw him in with me ta fight it oot.  He did well for
the first few swings but with little training the fella had little hope.  May he find
peace in the skies with his other Captured Orc buddies.  (Opens bottle of fine
whisky, takes a long draught the pours the quarter bottle left over the grave.) --
Kicker Murphy
P.S.  He leaves behind a Captured Orc brother and two Caputred Orc sisters.  Was
never married and had no Captured Orc siblings.
P.S.S.  Would have much rather killed that Imbezzling Bastard, me thinks he stole
from me!

Convicted Thief -- Me was thinking ye already lost in court which be why you be
convicted, but then ta press ye luck on the sands seems ta be pushin ye luck a wee
bit. -- Owsly

Trinket -- Congrats on ye Graduation.  Ye did well laddie ye did well. -- Clan Crow

Aaugh!  Serpents!  Serpents everywhere!  Arrgggh! -- the Cardow Hunters

Beryllium Buffer -- I don't think so. -- Ghost of Thunderbold

Ulphore -- Don't hold your breath waiting for the bloodfeud.  Death often happens in
the arena, but challenges of any kind from the Cardow Hunters are much more rare. --
Jorja

Our congratulations to Trinket. -- Jorja and the Cardow Hunters

Mary Wanna -- I absolve you.  I'd've been fine if the orderlies hadn't dropped me
(THREE TIMES!) on the way to the Infirmary. -- Ghost of Thunderbold

Cigil me'Bollix -- What a fiasco!  When your name was called, at first I thought the
steward was making a disparaging remark about my socks, which is ridiculous, the
darns are VERY well done.  Then I thought he was talking about a cigar box.  Then he
said you were a DWARF!!!  I just couldn't get things straight in my head in TIME to
give that fight the attention it deserved.  Sorry about that. -- Sweet Birch

Powder Puff -- That was incredibly embarrassing for me.  I think the worst part was
at the end where you took your puff and powdered all over my face.  NOT my color at
all.  It made me look positively jaundiced. -- Stormrider

Lucilius -- I wasn't going to "bury you in the sand."  Well, not with the
implications of that phrase, anyway.  I was just, ah, I was going to PLANT you and
see if we could grow some more Luciliuses. -- Hardwood

Eel -- Euwh!  Snakes, I can't stand snakes.  There is NO WAY I'd hold you. --
Grassflower
P.S.  Or offer you my hand.  I mean, what if you'd taken it?  I need that hand.  It's
part of a matched set.

All -- Bea luck ta ye.  Aye.  Thi's ole miner 'n Ora bea vication'n.  Aye.  Next'n
time.  Aye. -- Oremaster

For those interested, the "B" Mincers are tourney-ready and maxed.  The Ps, Is, and
Cs are available cannon fodder.  Good luck to Beryllium Buffer and Bismuth Bender. --
Ora

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

TAPPER O'DOOL was butchered by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
GIAGO was slaughtered by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
EEL was savagely slain by RIVER MONSTER in a 3 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
NOT PINKY was dealt death by DUSKBLOOD TROLL in a popular 1 minute Dark Arena contest.
GONNA was killed by STONE GOLEM in a crowd pleasing 4 minute Dark Arena competition.
TRY was slain by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena struggle.
AGAIN was executed by HEINOUS BEAST in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
CHROME CUTTER defeated LUCULLUS in a 2 minute gruesome Bloodfeud melee.
JEHLCH was vanquished by CARNAGE in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge Title duel.
MENHOIR was vanquished by YARARA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
SARYN overpowered MARY WANNA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match.
VIEDRAS was overpowered by KICKER MURPHY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
CAPT. ANTSY PANTS demolished ANICIUS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
ULPHOR viciously subdued GRASSFLOWER in a 2 minute brutal Challenge battle.
SKIPPY JON JONES was devastated by FLIE in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
CIGIL ME'BOLLIX handily defeated GILLICK in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
TRINKET defeated VERUS in a 2 minute struggle.
QUARK won victory over GILEAN YASUR in a crowd pleasing 1 minute veteran's fray.
MISS CONDUCT devastated PRIORE in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
LHISSON overpowered M. CHARDINEE in a 1 minute one-sided match.
SAMM was overpowered by MILEY VIRUS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided match.
STORMRIDER was bested by PLUTONIUM PUNCH in a popular 4 minute contest.
POWDER PUFF defeated BOND SERVANT in a 2 minute duel.
CASIMIR PULASKI demolished BATTON MS'KELLEY in a 1 minute uneven bout.
RUTILIUS lost to HARDWOOD in a 2 minute fray.
UHURA was bested by ARYLYN in a 1 minute bout.
LUCILIUS was demolished by BROLL BEARMANTLE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
DANYA savagely defeated SWEET BIRCH in a 2 minute gory duel.
SHARDIN overpowered EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute uneven match.
BRLEE was overpowered by LUCE in a 1 minute uneven duel.
VALEERA was overpowered by RAEDE in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
LO'GOSH handily defeated CLAYBANK in a 1 minute one-sided duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 13         TOTAL PARRY       12 -   6 -  0      67  |
|AIMED BLOW                       9         PARRY-LUNGE       17 -  12 -  0      59  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   8         AIMED BLOW        36 -  29 -  3      55  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         LUNGING ATTACK    28 -  24 -  1      54  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   4         PARRY-STRIKE      11 -  10 -  0      52  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         BASHING ATTACK    44 -  43 -  4      51  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -   9 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         STRIKING ATTACK   40 -  53 -  6      43  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         SLASHING ATTACK   21 -  34 -  1      38  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         WALL OF STEEL     13 -  23 -  2      36  |

Turn 653 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  4         4  AIMED BLOW     
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    4 -  9         3  STRIKING ATTACK
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     2 -  6         1  BASHING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
AIMED BLOW         5 -  4                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  CARNAGE 5593               11   2  0  120 SERPENTS HOLD (470)
AIMED BLOW       QUARK 5505                 15   9  1   92 TREKKERS (462)
PARRY-LUNGE      JEHLCH 5528                14  10  2   85 MID EARTH (223)
LUNGING ATTACK   VERUS 5590                  9   7  1   77 EQUESTORS (158)
SLASHING ATTACK  KICKER MURPHY 5622          6   2  1   69 CLAN CROW (456)
BASHING ATTACK   PRIORE 5628                 8   4  0   66 MID EARTH (223)
TOTAL PARRY      POWDER PUFF 5457            4   1  0   44 BOHICA (449)
PARRY-STRIKE     CAPT. ANTSY PANTS 5595      8   5  0   37 STREET WALKERS (97)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is LHISSON 5456.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was STORMRIDER 5520.  The ten other most popular fighters were GONNA 5694, DANYA 
5487, ULPHOR 5671, FLIE 5488, RUTILIUS 5585, HARDWOOD 5611, CHROME CUTTER 5316, 
CARNAGE 5593, SARYN 5552, and CAPT. ANTSY PANTS 5595.

The least popular fighter this week was CLAYBANK 5699.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were VALEERA 5686, BATTON MS'KELLEY 5607, POWDER PUFF 5457, PRIORE 5628, 
GILLICK 5656, SKIPPY JON JONES 5693, GRASSFLOWER 5673, ANICIUS 5633, VIEDRAS 5562, 
and MARY WANNA 5558.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

TRINKET (29-5517) SERPENTS HOLD (470)