Date   : 08/13/2003    Duedate: 08/26/2003


DM-30    TURN-455

This Weeks Top Honors


TRIP OUT (287)
(30-3759) [17-11-1,107]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

TRIP OUT (287)                 
(30-3759) [17-11-1,107]        

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

CHERKO                         SONIC TACO
RED DOG GANG (356)             TRIP OUT (287)
(30-4288) [16-21-0,69]         (30-4337) [6-4-1,68]


TRIP OUT (287)

Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. WRESTLMANIACS (73)          38
2. RED DOG GANG (356)          22      TRIP OUT (287)
3. TRIP OUT (287)              14      Unchartered Team
4. GAMEHENDGE (299)             0
5. LHI'S ANGELS (406)           0      BOUND4GLORY (320)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 3*LHI'S ANGELS (406)         8   3  0 72.7   1/ 3 TRIP OUT (287)           11  4 1
 2/ 6 TRIP OUT (287)            77  66  3 53.8   2/ 2 CARNIVAL (399)            9  6 1
 3/ 7 CARNIVAL (399)            58  56  3 50.9   3/ 1 WRESTLMANIACS (73)        8  4 1
 4/ 9 WRESTLMANIACS (73)        17  19  2 47.2   4/ 4 RED DOG GANG (356)        5 10 0
 5/11 RED DOG GANG (356)       292 403  5 42.0   5-11*GAMEHENDGE (299)          0  4 0
 6-12*GAMEHENDGE (299)          11  23  2 32.4   6-10*LHI'S ANGELS (406)        0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Aruaki Clanhold #117 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     Tonga, a Lord Protector who had graduated here, stood on the top level of the
arena and looked out over the small city.  The past year or two had not been kind to
Seam.  Buildings still stood between the center of the city and the river, but the
other half of the town was in ruins.  "It wouldn't look any worse if there'd been a
war here," he muttered to his teammate, Nathaniel G.
     "If there'd been a war, there would be more bodies," Nathaniel argued.  Anything
else he might have said was drowned out by rumbling deep in the earth.
     The geyser that had broken out a few months ago burst into the air, bringing
sulfur-scented steam.  It rose in the center of the devastated area, shooting higher
than the arena walls before a wind from the west seized the top of the plume and blew
scalding mist to the east.  The circle of abandoned buildings marked the distance
that any normal wind was likely to blow the deadly steam.  Although some of the
destruction in the center had resulted from the blast that released the geyser, and
from the occasional earth-shocks afterward, most of it was due to vandalism and
     Some of the vandals, Tonga noted sadly, were gladiators whose teams hadn't found
new homes after the arena closed.  He could understand their anger and despair, but
wished they'd found a more constructive outlet.  Others were relicts of the civil war
who, for one reason or another, had nowhere else to go.
     "Point's in worse shape," Nathaniel said when the geyser finally subsided.
"Wiped out by..." he hesitated, not wanting to attribute the destruction of Point to
     "Ghosts," Tonga said.  "Might as well admit it.  Everyone says it was ghosts out
of Krael that wiped out Point and hit Iaye, too."  He glanced sideways at his
companion.  "When you were out toward Point, did you swing down to Ti?  We haven't
heard a word from there in, I dunno, weeks, months?"


     Karanjal walked into the Krill Cavalry guildhouse and flopped into a chair.  He
wasn't sure now what he had expected life to be like once he became a Lord Protector,
but he knew he hadn't expected to end up as a courier riding all over the Clanhold.
He accepted a mug of cold cider from his teammate, Flitter McGee, and drank deeply.
     Flitter waited impatiently, and when Karanjal didn't seem likely to stop
drinking, he said, "Well?"
     "No, not well," Karanjal growled.
     "You went to Ti," Flitter prompted, when no further comment was forthcoming.
     "There isn't any Ti.  Empty beach.  Not even ruins."
     "Some kind of wave, like took out Point?" Flitter guessed.
     "You're not listening!"  Karanjal slammed his mug onto the long refectory table
in sudden irritation.  "There is no Ti.  It's like there never was a Ti.  With Point,
there are ruins.  With Ti, nothing.  I searched the coast for three miles each way--
What a joke, each way from what?  I couldn't even be sure exactly which part of the
coast used to have the town on it!"  He was silent for a moment.  "There's a cliff at
the water's edge," he said finally, "some kind of purplish rock with fossils in it.
Like nothing I've seen anywhere before.  I'm guessing that's where Ti used to be,
that somehow the town got swapped for a piece of some other coast somewhere...."
     "But that's impossible!"
     "Unlikely, maybe, but what other explanation is there?"
     "Okay, okay...."  Flitter frowned.  "Okay, really big magic could maybe do it,
but really big magic is impossible right now, because of the Chaos contamination and
the Arcanum failing and all."
     Karanjal shrugged.  "I don't have to come up with answers, thank all gods!  I
just go and gather facts.  Someone else can figure out what's going on."  He heaved
himself up reluctantly.  "I suppose I'd better write out a report."

At an unknown location:

     Belana listened to the sliding rocks, but she kept her eyes moving.  Just
because she could hear someone coming from one direction, that didn't mean there
wasn't somebody coming from some other direction, too.  The man who emerged from the
trees was dark enough to be Delarquan, but if this was the wrong side of some Gate,
that didn't mean anything.  She supposed she should be glad it was human.  Or at
least looked human.  Her gaze flicked to the man and then along the edge of the
trees, back to the man and along the trees on the other side.  He looked like
Gelleran.  Not exactly, but very nearly like Gelleran.  Maybe he was trapped on this
side of the Gate, too.
     Or maybe this was somebody or some THING else that was mimicking Gelleran's
appearance to put her off guard.  There was a lot of deceit in the world--in ANY
world, after all.
     The man came down the last of the slope in a half-run that made enough noise to
cover anyone else who might be moving in the woods.  "Belana!  My seer said you would
be here--I'm so glad you're not badly hurt!"  He came up against the low wall that
marked that side of her floor, hitting it with a jolt that would knock the breath out
of anyone.  He grinned at her, panting.
     If this wasn't Gelleran, the illusion was beyond her ability to penetrate, and
she couldn't refuse help just because she didn't trust this world.  Belana put down
her rock and stood.  "I'm glad to see a familiar face," she admitted.  "But where are
     "On Kordos, of course!"  He recovered his breath and came around the wall,
obviously intending to take her into his arms.
     Belana shied back.  She knew he liked her, but they hadn't been on hugging
terms, that she recalled.  But at least they must be still in the Ghean world, still
on Alastari, even.  She grabbed for the first neutral topic that came to mind.
"Kordos...that's your island, isn't it?  Near Valamantis--"
     "It is my island, yes, of course," he said, lowering his arms and looking
disturbed.  "And yours, too, I hope.  As my betrothed and soon-to-be wife and queen,
I hope you will come to regard Kordos as your home just as it is mine.  But...I do
not know of this Valamantis you speak of."

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #12 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Not in Zuwayza:

     A deep drumming sound echoed through the house.
     "That will be the Sultan's men--or the Temple Guards, even!--at the door," the
merchant muttered.  "I dare not refuse them entry."
     The merchant hurried away, and Tankesh dismissed the man from his mind.  The way
his head ached, he didn't figure on wasting his efforts on peripheral puzzles.  The
important thing was to get on his feet without falling down.  He braced one hand
against the wall and pushed himself upward.  After a moment, the room stopped
wobbling around.  He took a careful step toward the small table that held his sword,
picked it up, and slung the belt around himself.  Headache or no, he could fight if
he had to, and just having the sword at hand gave him confidence.  He looked around
the room.
     The doctor was tidying away all sign that someone had been here, straightening
the cover on the divan, scooping up a small cup and spoon, a bit of bloodstained
cloth, anything that might be out of place, and gathering it all into a small bundle
which he shoved into his doctor's bag.  Not speaking, the man gestured for Tankesh to
follow him and darted out a door that had been concealed by a hanging curtain.
     No, Tankesh corrected himself as he scrambled to keep up with the man, not
concealed.  It didn't seem to be anything like a secret door, and the curtain was
probably merely to stop drafts.  Well, whatever.  He didn't suppose that mattered.
He would probably never see these people or this place again.
     The doctor led him down a long hall; some of the doorways opening off it had
curtains for closure and others had real doors of wood.  Even in what Tankesh guessed
was a service hallway, the doors were all surrounded by tiles painted with bright-
colored floral patterns, and the floor, also of tile, had a long strip of striped
carpet down it.  The door at the far end was locked and bolted, but the doctor had a
key and let them out into an alley.
     A blank-faced building on the side made a narrow path of black shadow, but for
the rest, the sun turned the alley into an oven.  The doctor didn't pause but led him
onward at a brisk trot, around a corner, and in through another door, across a small
courtyard, into a dusty hallway, out another door, and on and on through a maze of
buildings and alleys.  Tankesh wondered what kind of practice the man had that he
knew this maze so well.  They saw few people in their rapid passage, all of them
heavily cloaked and moving away.
     They ended up in another small courtyard, this one dominated by a spreading
cypress tree and a tiled pool of water with a fountain splashing gently into it.
     "I will leave you here," the doctor said quickly.  "The sage may be able to help
you return to your own world.  Fare you well, Traveler, and may the Goddess smile
upon your going out and your returning."  Before Tankesh could respond, he vanished
back through the gateway.
     "So you are a Traveler, eh?"  The voice came from the deep shade of the cypress,
unhurried and genial.  "It's been a long time since I Traveled, though I visited many
worlds in my youth.  Come sit here by the fountain and tell me how it is with you,
young man."
     Tankesh peered into the shadow but couldn't make out more than a vague presence.
With a slight shrug, he moved closer, noting with relief that the air was distinctly
cooler under the tree.  He sank down onto the rim of the fountain and squinted into
the shadow.
     The sage was very old, a shrunken, withered figure barely visible among a nest
of shawls.  How could he stand shawls in this heat?  "What's going on?" he asked.
     The old man sighed.  "It's a time of change, young man.  I have studied many
lifetimes and do not fully understand it.  There is always the possibility of
Traveling from one world to another, but the choice of destination is ordinarily
restricted, and the passage is difficult.  For some reason beyond my slender
understanding, this is changing...at least for now.  A world of which we know
nothing, have never Visited--your world--is coming into conjunction with ours.
Travel is easy, even happening by sheerest accident.  Thus, I gather, your presence."
     "The doctor who brought me here said the same thing, more or less.  But that
still doesn't tell me why ME, what happened to my companion, and how I get home!"
     The old man laughed.  "Why you and what happened to your companion, I cannot
guess.  As to how you might get home--"  He stretched one thin leg out in front of
him, and the sunlight burned on a crimson slipper with a curled toe.  "I don't think
my shoes will fit you, but there are other ways.  Quite simple, really.  Come into my
terminal."  He hoisted himself to his feet and headed for a door that was barely
visible under a deep arcade.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 233): FANTA FUELED FUZZ of BLACKTHORN ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 469): NUBIAN GOD of VIEW ASKEW (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 468): CONAN of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 461): CLINTON of THE DEMOCRATS (Al Gore, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 458): SLIM SHADY of THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
                              (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 458): BENEFICE of THE TAKEN (The Annalist, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 454): PHISH BAIT of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 420): BIRDBRAIN of WIMPS MOST FOWL (Wimpy, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 414): AFRICAN GREY of BIRDS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 406): OL' JOE COLLIN of BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 181): SQUASH BUTT of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 317): GATECRASHER of CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 308): PIPE LAYER of WORKING MEN (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 136): LONGSHOT of SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 354): NEBBISH of SAILS OF CHARON from ARADI (The Sentinel)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 233): BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 469): VIEW ASKEW (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 468): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 461): SERPENTINE INC. (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 458): THE ASININE (Philthy Phil, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 458): CHAUCERS WORDS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 458): SHERWOOD FOREST (Papaiz, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 454): WRESTLMANIACS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 420): CARNIVAL (Carny, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 414): WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 406): DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 181): OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 317): CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 308): WAY OF THE BLADE 2 (Vhagar, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 136): SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 354): BOXES, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 233): FANTA FUELED FUZZ of BLACKTHORN ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
                           FOTHERINFOP of WIMPS OF PERIL (Wimpy, mgr.)
               (turn 232): DOMINO of BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
                           BETHUNES of LA PENTARCHIE (The Pentalque, mgr.)
                               JUGHEAD of KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
                               BART WELLENS of 'CROSSED UP (Dr. Mabuse, mgr.)
                   (turn 468): BOOTLEG PATCHWORK of  GERFEL'S FRIENDS (Generalissimo
                               Puerco, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 461): CLINTON of THE DEMOCRATS (Al Gore, mgr.)
                           SUE of WOMEN OF REALITY (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 458): FLITTER MCGEE of KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 454): PHISH BAIT of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
             (turn 453): INFERNO of I TRAINED THEM (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 420): BIRDBRAIN of WIMPS MOST FOWL (Wimpy, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 414): AFRICAN GREY of BIRDS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 181): LONGARMOFTHELAW of OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 317): GATECRASHER of CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
                          SLAP HAPPY of BUMS 'R' US (Berylstar, mgr.)
              (turn 316): SCUMBAG of WIMPS OF DEATH (Wimpy, mgr.)
                          WETBOX of BOXES (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 308): RHYTHM METHOD of SURPRISE! (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 136): LONGSHOT of SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Needless to say, I'm impressed.  Phish Bait started out as filler, but won, won, and 
won some more.  He had a seriously slow learning curve for someone with his wit, but 
I guess fighting so many generated warriors will do that.  Here's his info for anyone 
who likes that sort of thing:

Phish Bait, WS
11(+1)-13-9-17-21-5-10(+1)  Master attack, AdEx initiative, Experts parry and 
riposte.  Totally mode except for being -1 in parry... figures.  Quarterstaff, 
moderate/low, and a riposte learner to round out the favorites.

He certainly had knack and that's gotta count for something, plus getting all those 
rip skills couldn't have hurt with his style.  Anyway, here's to Phish Bait and his 
upcoming retirement on the Isle, may he enjoy his land and title.  For his final turn 
he'll be heading to the night fights because... well... secretly I've always wanted 
to send him there.  Let's see if he's got the guts to get back out.

Till next time,

Trip Out

                                      SPY REPORT

     Busy, busy, busy, lots of things happening in IAYE this turn, and let's start 
with a look at some of the teams.  It seems the training can make the difference, as 
WRESTLMANIACS is pushed out of top team by TRIP OUT, who came from 3rd with a 4-1-1 
this turn.  GAMEHENDGE stable has parlayed this turn's 0-0-0 into a 6 space move up 
the rankings.  This brings them up to 5th place.  Good work, guys!  And let's see, 
THE ROCK fought LORD POLTROON and gained 14 points and contributed to WRESTLMANIACS' 
3-2-0.  LORD POLTROON has lost to THE ROCK, falling 8 points, while helping make 
CARNIVAL a 2-3-0 turn.  This week's Duelmaster bout was between WURM KIN and our 
Duelmaster PHISH BAIT, making a Dark Arena Challenge.  The attempts to dethrone the 
Duelmaster have failed, and PHISH BAIT remains IAYE's top warrior for another turn.  
Tell me, is nothing sacred?  I have heard from unimpeachable sources that The 
Dragon's Blood Inn uses trolls in their stew.  Talk about gristle!   
     I tell you, a green quarterstaff lasts longer than a seasoned sapling.  A basher 
friend of mine assures me this is true.   
     A coward dies a thousand deaths, a brave man only once.  Wise men know this to 
be true.  The grave that TRIP OUT had dug for PHISH BAIT may yet be filled with the 
body of WURM KIN.  Seldom are the likes of this to be seen.  PHISH BAIT lives still!  
A brave warrior does not carry a red shield, he has nothing to cover or hide when the 
fight is over.  Consider well.   
     Thought for the day, a new sword shines bright, but the notched sword sings the 
sweetest.  Always good to rest in IAYE, but never good to wear out my welcome.  Look 
for me in future turns.  Until the sun next rises and my pen sets to paper-- Alarond 
the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 EGG SHERBERT 3759            17  11  1   107       TRIP OUT (287)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PURPLE DONKEY 2751           17  12  0    98       TRIP OUT (287)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DUMB, DUMB 4235              10  45  0    75       RED DOG GANG (356)
 THE ROCK 4314                 5   1  1    72       WRESTLMANIACS (73)
 CHERKO 4288                  16  21  0    69       RED DOG GANG (356)
 SONIC TACO 4337               6   4  1    68       TRIP OUT (287)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SPIN D'TOPP 4360             11   3  0    59       CARNIVAL (399)
 LORD POLTROON 4369            7   1  1    58       CARNIVAL (399)
-LEE 4255                      6   1  0    57       LHI'S ANGELS (406)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOT TAMALE 4367               8   7  0    47       RED DOG GANG (356)
 ONE-GAL-BAND 4370             4   4  0    35       CARNIVAL (399)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TWINKLES 4336                 6   9  0    33       CARNIVAL (399)
 OUTBACK JACK 672              4   3  1    29       WRESTLMANIACS (73)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ROWDY RODDY 621               5   2  0    23       WRESTLMANIACS (73)
-TELA 2973                     2   4  0    19       GAMEHENDGE (299)
 COCO B. WARE 685              3   3  0    18       WRESTLMANIACS (73)
-AMANDA 4256                   2   2  0    14       LHI'S ANGELS (406)
 DARK CHOCOLATE 4412           1   0  0    14       RED DOG GANG (356)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SONORA SARA 4411              1   0  0    13       RED DOG GANG (356)
-SLOTH 3013                    2   3  1    11       GAMEHENDGE (299)
-WILSON 3012                   1   5  0     8       GAMEHENDGE (299)
 TWO CHEER 4406                1   2  0     7       CARNIVAL (399)
 HOT JELLO LUV 4407            0   3  0     3       TRIP OUT (287)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
KARN 4368              6  2 0 CARNIVAL 399          SONIC TACO 4337       451 REVENGED
MINTY PEPPER 4403      0  1 0 CARNIVAL 399          OUTBACK JACK 672      452 REVENGED
WURM KIN 386           0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          PHISH BAIT 3761       455 NONE    
VINILLA 4324          10 15 0 RED DOG GANG 356      LORD POLTROON 4369    454         
CHIHUAHUA CHICA 4344   8 11 0 RED DOG GANG 356      THE ROCK 4314         454         
SUPERFLY 4410          0  1 0 WRESTLMANIACS 73      SPYMASTER 381         455 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Vinilla -- A salute!  Alas!  Our deep regrets! -- Carny

Sonic Taco -- Nice comeback. -- Spin D'top

Amanda -- I hit every note. -- One Gal Band

Trip Out, Wrestlmaniacs -- You both had a good team point gain but you ran into our 
world record amazing 31 point gain. -- Carny

Wrestlmanics -- Congrats on taking Top Team. -- Carny

Phish Bait, Inferno -- Congrats on your "Call of the Isle." -- Carny

Phish Bait -- We proudly award you the W.A.K. award.  (Without a Kill.) -- Carny

Wilson -- My best day! -- Twiwichos [?]

Game Hendge -- Welcome Back! -- Carny

All -- I know, I know... personals.  It's just not like me!  So sue me if I'd like to 
see a little longer newsletter around here. -- Angus

Carny -- Hmmm.  Spin and Sonic are 1-1 now.  They gonna go best outta three or do I 
get to see another of your warriors? -- Angus

Spin D'Topp -- Very well fought!  Perhaps next time I could pick up an attack skill 
or two? -- Sonic Taco

All -- It's been great dueling here with all of you!  Angus tells me to take my plot 
of land, get a girl, and start a family, so I think I might just do that!  Try to 
take it easy on my stablemates, I'd really like to see them on the Isle someday. -- 
Phish Bait
P.S.  The purple robes rule!

Goff or Leeta -- Glad to see the Red Dog Gang still here and hanging tough!  Pretty 
soon Cherko and Dumb, Dumb should be on the top looking down. -- Angus

Phish Bait -- Why not just admit you're stink bait and be done with it? -- Cherko
P.S.  Or go meet somebody in a bathtub.  Somebody with soap.

Purple Donkey -- Dumb doesn't handle surprises well. -- Goff
P.S.  And a purple donkey is a surprise.

Lord Poltroon -- Beast! -- Ghost of vinilla

The Rock -- I trip over you in the sands, where you should not be, and hit my head on 
your sword, which you left lying around, and I am dead?  I don't like this. -- Ghost 
of Chihuahua Chica

Nobody crosses in the middle of the block on MY watch! -- Hot Tamale

Is this arena over-supplied with lungers, or what? -- Leeta and Goff

You notice that?  I nurse this team along for years, and SHE gets top billing, just 
because she PAYS the bills.  I call that something or other. -- Goff

18 July 2003
To All Managers -- I would like to take this time to announce that my alliance, The
Association, is no more.  Due to the dead weight managers of the alliance and their
lack of participation, DarkSpirit and I have formed a new alliance:  The Firm.  We
have taken on two members so far and are looking for a few more.  If you would like
to find out more about The Firm, you can diplo Dark Spirit, Unknowns XX in arena 15
or myself, Sungod, Sadists F2FII in arena 62.
                               --*  The Firm *--
                    Sungod -- Sadists F2FII -- 62
                    Dark Spirit -- Unknowns XX -- 15
                    Youngblood -- Wensinwasin -- 43
                    Tripwire -- Of Wolf and Man -- 1

26 July 2003
     Citizens of Alastari, a bright dawn has risen.  While you slept, a pernicious
force has entered the once-fair City of Aruak.  It fought alongside their treasured
warriors, it drank with their fans, and it slept with their women.  Now the masks are
coming off.
     Warriors, be afraid...be very afraid.  After years of Andorian managers ranting
that Aruak is the safest city in Alastari, the Frothingslosh Syndicate has selected
Aruak City as the home for its next epic 'contest'--Murder by Numbers II.  Our spies
have selected the warriors for extermination, and the executioners have had several
months to prepare.  Now a new age of darkness will descend upon Aruak, as the
Syndicate and its allies bring an entirely new level of competition to the arena!
Downchallenges!  Assassinations!  Small poodles as hors d'oeuvres!
     The Murder by Numbers II 'rules' will be announced next cycle.  However, we
invite all managers, from all corners of Alastari, to come to Aruak City and take
part...in one way or another.  Help defend the honor of a long heralded haven for the
pure, or join the forces of change in their siege of the ice-cream and cake
stronghold of the Dukes of Nerf-Dueling!
     This exercise is not for either the faint of heart or the weak willed.  Blood
will flow, brains will leak, and beer will be chugged.  Either way, we welcome you
with open arms and gleaming blades.
     This public service announcement has been brought to you by Frothingslosh Epic
Contests (tm), the number 86, and the letter 'K'.

The Frothingslosh Syndicate

29 July 2003
           *     *     *     *The Third Annual Turf War*     *     *     *
     Yes, it's time again for alliances to go to war!  TW3 will be held in DM 47
(North Fork) at a date to be  specified later--right after Crip's Incomprehensible
Contest is over...but I'm sure everyone wants to get their teams there soon!  Here
are the rules:

1.  Each alliance must have a leader declare the arrival of his alliance.  The leader
    will be responsible for verifying any and all teams/managers who declare to the
    alliance he/she is leading.
2.  Each manager, team declaring for the contest must have approval of the leader,
    donate one Roll-up Certificate ($5) to the prize pot (send it to me by diplo, by
    snail, or a note to customer service), and declare his/her team by diplo, p-ad or
3.  Each team may declare one warrior as champion.  All points scored by a champ are
4.  Prizes are as follows (mostly...there WILL be some things added as the prize pot
    grows with entry donations--this list is not final!)
    *  Highest scoring alliance -- Rename Arena 47 for a period of 6 months, one half
       of the total prize pot donated; roll-up certs.
    *  The Alliance with the most returns from the DA will get to re-name the DA
       monsters for a period of 6 months.
    *  The alliance with the most warriors listed as style masters will get to pick
       the Alastari city/arena to host the next Grand Tournament.
    *  The warrior with the most front page honors/awards will have the Arenamaster
       named after him for a period of 6 months.
    *  The Alliance with the most front page Honors/Awards will have the honor of
        picking the *slow* arena to host the Fifth Annual Turf War.
    *  The team with the most listings as Style Master will find out the favorites of
       one of their warriors.
    *  The warrior with the most listings as Style Master will fight at my expense
       for five turns (I will transfer to the manager's account).
    *  The Alliance with the most kills will be able to re-name the stand-in warriors
       for a period of 6 months.
    *  The warrior that scores the most total points will fight at my expense for 5
       turns (I will transfer $7.50 to the manager's account).
    *  The team that scores the most total points will receive an extra share of
       roll-up certs from the prize pot.
     There may be more categories to come, and the prize pot still has to be
divided...I'm open to category/prize ideas--and further donations to the prize pot.
     The contest will run for *TEN* turns; prizes will be awarded at the end of the
11th turn.
     Scoring will be as follows:
* 5 points per fight, doubled for each of the following conditions met:
     -- Two Alliance     -- Champion
     -- Challenge        -- Two Champions
     -- Bloodfeud        -- Challenger losing
     -- Kill
     (Note:  DA losses are exempt, but DA wins will be *tripled*!!!  Ex:  Happy
Slasher goes to the DA and dies, no points are lost.  If he wins, his team scores 60
points!  If he was a champ, he scores 120 points!)
     Use the following chart to calculate scores:
Conditions Met:       0     1     2     3     4     5     6     7
Points Per Fight:     5    10    20    40    80   160   320   640
* Awards/Honors and Style Masters will each be awarded points also.  Find the total
number of each (do note add Awards and Style Masters together) and consult the graph
below.  Champs that score an award or style master count as two.
     1 --   5      7 --  320
     2 --  10      8 --  640
     3 --  20      9 -- 1280
     4 --  40     10 -- 2560
     5 --  80     11 -- 5280
     6 -- 100     (x2 for each extra)
Note -- These categories *count as "triple"*--they will be figured for each team,
*AND* again for each alliance *as well as* for each warrior!
*  Each and every mention in the Spy Report is worth 5 points...period.
*  TVs will be scored on the same scale as Awards/Style Masters, but the total points
will be x10.  TC's will be scored as TV's, but x10 more.
Number of TV/TC's          Points Scored (TV/TC)
     1      50/ 500
     2     100/1000
     3     200/2000
     4     400/4000
     +     x2/ x2 (for each extra)
     Each alliance will start with 5000 points, scores for *fights* will be added to
the winner's total *AND* deducted from the losers.
     Come  one and all, defend your turf and the honor of your alliance...or your
                    Asmo Dius, TCB
                    Arenas, DM 47, DM 73

1 August 2003
     Assurnasirbanipal invites you to Talcama to participate in the third BATTLE
ROYAL contest.  It is a Delarquan contest so brutal that even some of Talcama's most
notable managers will refuse to participate.  The rules are simpler than any other
contest:  You may not avoid any other contest team.  There are no silly rules for who
can and can't compete.  Any team in Talcama is eligible to compete.  The scoring is
also quite simple (+1 for a win, +1 for a kill (+1 for the win), -1 for a loss) and
the first team to reach 25 points is the winner.
     Scoring will be live--the results for the turn posted in the newsletter.  The
winner will be able to fight their contest team in Talcama for free for 6 months but
more importantly will win a contest against some of the best managers who play the
game in one of the hardest contests in the game.
     First turn for BATTLE ROYAL 3 is Talcama Turn 465, which is due August 30.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

PHISH BAIT butchered WURM KIN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
SUPERFLY was murdered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
TWINKLES was savagely defeated by SONIC TACO in a 5 minute Bloodfeud fight.
TWO CHEER was devastated by OUTBACK JACK in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud fight.
PURPLE DONKEY devastated CHERKO in a 1 minute uneven brawl.
EGG SHERBERT overpowered DUMB, DUMB in a 1 minute one-sided Title struggle.
THE ROCK defeated LORD POLTROON in a action packed 1 minute melee.
SPIN D'TOPP viciously subdued HOT TAMALE in a 2 minute gruesome duel.
ONE-GAL-BAND savagely defeated COCO B. WARE in a 2 minute gruesome duel.
ROWDY RODDY defeated HOT JELLO LUV in a exciting 1 minute fight.
SONORA SARA handily defeated SHIFTYEYED VOLUNTEER in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
DARK CHOCOLATE demolished POLITE BEGGAR in a unpopular 4 minute mismatched match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         SLASHING ATTACK   20 -  11 -  2      65  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      7 -   4 -  0      64  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         LUNGING ATTACK    40 -  27 -  2      60  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         TOTAL PARRY        7 -   5 -  0      58  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         STRIKING ATTACK    5 -   4 -  0      56  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-STRIKE      10 -  10 -  1      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         WALL OF STEEL     13 -  14 -  1      48  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      1         BASHING ATTACK    11 -  13 -  0      46  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         AIMED BLOW         5 -  10 -  0      33  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   2 -  0       0  |

Turn 455 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  2         5  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  BASHING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  2     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  1         1  AIMED BLOW     
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  1                                       1  PARRY-STRIKE   
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1                                       1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   EGG SHERBERT 3759          17  11  1  107 TRIP OUT (287)
LUNGING ATTACK   PURPLE DONKEY 2751         17  12  0   98 TRIP OUT (287)
SLASHING ATTACK  THE ROCK 4314               5   1  1   72 WRESTLMANIACS (73)
PARRY-STRIKE     SONIC TACO 4337             6   4  1   68 TRIP OUT (287)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    HOT TAMALE 4367             8   7  0   47 RED DOG GANG (356)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is CHERKO 4288.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
SONIC TACO 4337.  The ten other most popular fighters were TWINKLES 4336, SPIN D'TOPP 

The least popular fighter this week was DARK CHOCOLATE 4412.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were COCO B. WARE 685, CHERKO 4288, SUPERFLY 4410, SONORA SARA 4411, 
4369, and PURPLE DONKEY 2751.

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn:

EGG SHERBERT (30-3759) TRIP OUT (287)

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn:

PHISH BAIT (30-3761) TRIP OUT (287)