Date   : 11/19/2003    Duedate: 12/02/2003


DM-30    TURN-462

This Weeks Top Honors


TRIP OUT (287)
(30-4337) [11-6-1,99]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

SONIC TACO                     THE GOOSE
TRIP OUT (287)                 RUNNERS (426)
(30-4337) [11-6-1,99]          (30-4438) [1-0-0,10]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

CHERKO                         SLOTH
RED DOG GANG (356)             GAMEHENDGE (299)
(30-4288) [19-25-0,82]         (30-3013) [8-4-1,59]


TRIP OUT (287)

Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. GAMEHENDGE (299)            24
2. TRIP OUT (287)              11      TRIP OUT (287)
3. RUNNERS (426)               10      Unchartered Team
4. KRYNNIANS II (32)            0
5. PERLIS OPEN (407)            0      RUNNERS (426)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*RUNNERS (426)              1   0  0  100   1/ 1 TRIP OUT (287)            9  6 0
 2- 1 PERLIS OPEN (407)         11   4  0 73.3   2/ 2 GAMEHENDGE (299)          8  5 0
 3- 2*SQUAD WANKERSON (419)      2   1  1 66.7   3/ 3 RED DOG GANG (356)        6  9 1
 4- 3 I TRAINED THEM (331)     181  98  7 64.9   4- 4 KRYNNIANS II (32)         4  6 1
 5/ 4 TRIP OUT (287)            98  80  4 55.1   5/ 0*RUNNERS (426)             1  0 0
 6- 5 DOG DAY AFTERNOON (262)  295 267  7 52.5   6- 6 I TRAINED THEM (331)      1  0 0
 7/ 8 GAMEHENDGE (299)          31  35  3 47.0   7- 8 PERLIS OPEN (407)         1  0 0
 8- 7 KRYNNIANS II (32)         30  34  6 46.9   8- 7 DOG DAY AFTERNOON (262)   1  1 0
 9/ 9 RED DOG GANG (356)       304 426  6 41.6   9- 9*SQUAD WANKERSON (419)     0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #19 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     The Lord Dankilvan had given them temporary quarters in his mansion.  A suite
among the servants, but that was okay, the decor was less overpowering.
     Berdan looked around at the nearly plain hangings that covered the walls of the
central room in the suite and scowled.  "I don't like this," the ex-assassin growled.
"Sequestering us!  This Dankilvan is up to something."
     Raoul shrugged, took off his hat and looked at it, then put it back again.  The
gesture didn't mean anything, but it gave him time to think about his answer without
being rude.  And he was really tempted to be rude.  Berdan was repeating himself.
And the gladiator was getting tired of repeating his answer.  But one more time...
maybe it would get through this time.  "Lord Dankilvan is trying to keep Skaithvarn
out of Alastarian politics.  Can't blame him for that!  We don't want that
entanglement, either."
     "He's sending a Delarquan spy with us--"
     "A Delarquan gladiator who may or may not be a spy.  So?"
     "She'll be a spy.  Everything we do will be reported to this--"
     "Are you planning to do something you want to hide?" Jeri Northwind asked.
     Berdan jumped a little, having forgotten that she was there.  "No, but--"
     "Then it isn't a problem.  In fact," she exchanged a glance with Raoul, who
nodded slightly, "in fact, it's a good thing.  It means the S'varni won't have to
worry about what we might be up to, because they'll know what we ARE up to."
     "Right, doll.  And besides, better the spy we know and can see than one we
don't.  Surely you realize that, Berdan?"
     The ex-assassin sighed and shrugged.  "I suppose so."
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     Hallie O'Dene turned out to be an elf.  A southern elf, a dark-skinned Shagornan
elf, an elf of the kind deeply distrusted by the northern elves who figured in the
ancestry of all Fratsfan nobles.
     Berdan refused to have anything to do with her.  "And how Dankilvan, himself of
the High Blood, could actually employ her, trust her--!"  He stormed around their
sitting room, not quite throwing things but looking as though he wanted to.
     Hallie O'Dene watched quietly, showing no offense, nor any other reaction except
mild interest.  Leaning just a little toward Jeri, she asked, "Does he have a strong
heart?  Because he's a prime candidate for apoplexy right now."
     Jeri put a hand over her mouth to hold back a snort of laughter.  "I don't know
him that well," she admitted, "but fortunately, we can do this without him if we have
     The Delarquan's eyebrows rose.  "You think he might abandon the mission just to
avoid working with me?"
     "He might, doll," Raoul said, coming to sit between the two of them on the
room's long couch as Berdan continued to rage up and down the room, cursing Hallie,
Raoul and Jeri, Peranis, Dankilvan, and other people they'd never heard of
comprehensively and bitterly.  "That doesn't worry me so much as that he might quit
us and try to go on without us--go into competition with us over it.  How much can we
trust him?  The man used to be a spy and an assassin, after all."
     "Well, it's as good as a play," Hallie said, "but Lord Dankilvan wants us to get
ON with things.  Maybe we should try to stop him?"
     Raoul shook his head.  "He's got to get through it, doll.  But maybe we should
get on with it ourselves.  Jeri and I are ready to go--we didn't unpack when we got
     "Leave Berdan to follow when he calms down?" Jeri asked.
     "Or go back to Andor, if that's what he wants to do."  Raoul shrugged.  He
glanced at Jeri, who jumped up and grabbed a backpack.
     "I'm ready," she said.  As soon as Raoul and Hallie had picked up their packs,
she added, "What's the matter with this Leemith place that Lord Dankilvan mentioned?
He didn't seem to like them at all."
     Hallie led the way out the door.  "I've got horses waiting for us," she said.
"The Leemin, well, they're all vampires.  Generally good neighbors, but still, you
just don't trust a town full of vampires, do you?"

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 237): MELTDOWN of X-FORCE (Savant, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 475): B.S. of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 475): ATROPHY of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 468): HOMELESS PRINCE of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 464): KID ROCK of THE MC5 (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 464): APE WILD of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 465): SAPPER of SHERWOOD FOREST (Papaiz, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 461): DUMB, DUMB of RED DOG GANG (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 426): SUSAN STO HELIT of THE DISC (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 419): PELICAN of BIRDS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 412): BANANA JR of DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 184): VIOLENT VIOLET of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 324): UNDERGROUND BEAT of CLUB CULTURE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 313): MALICHAI of WAY OF THE BLADE 2 (Vhagar, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 360): DEMONFANG of DARK PANTHEON from TRANSEL (Doc Steele)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 237): BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 475): BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 475): OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 468): SERPENTINE INC. (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 464): BATTLEMANIA (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 464): PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 465): GOLDEN CANYON (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 461): TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 426): TACO GODS (The Oracle, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 419): WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 412): HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 184): MIDDLE WAY 8 (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 324): FA CHING (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 313): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): HAZAARDS OF CLONING (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 360): BOXES, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 475): DREIHDENSMURF of U.B.O.S.M. (Dreihdenflahg, mgr.)
                   (turn 474): SECRET of YOUNG JUSTICE (Rillion, mgr.)
                               NEVILLE of GRYFFINDOR HOUSE2 (Rillion, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 474): BERWICK of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 468): GUANTANAMO BAY of THE REPUBLICANS (The Judge, mgr.)
                           PISHTUSH of ANDORIAN WIMPS (Wimpy, mgr.)
               (turn 467): JUDITH of WOMEN OF REALITY (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 464): APE WILD of PRIMATES-R-US (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 465): OMNIBOOK 6000 of AT WORK (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 411): COURIER of HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 139): BATTLEMAGE of SHADOW MAGIC (Shadowgate, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     "We've got to do something!"  Dark Chocolate clutched her head distractedly.
     "What kind of something?  We do stuff every day," Cherko pointed out.  "That the
latest newsletter?"
     DC handed it over silently.
     "Scary, isn't it," DC muttered.  "Dumb actually BEAT the Taco and made
     "It's a disaster, 'specially with Goff away."
     "You don't know the half of it.  Dumb wants to write a column!"
     "He can't write."
     "Figure of speech.  He wants to dictate a column and have one of us write it
down and submit it."
     "How do you write down grunts?" Cherko asked scornfully.
     "Don't let your smart mouth get you into trouble," DC advised, taking the
newsletter back from him.  "Dumb can wipe the floor with you."
     "Like heck he can.  I've got the style advantage, and--"
     "So?  He won't even think about style and standard dueling form," she countered.
"He'll just pick you up by the scruff of your neck--"  She paused and studied her
teammate thoughtfully for a moment.  "And it certainly is scruffy looking, when was
the last time you challenged the monsters in the bathtub?"
     "I'm clean!" Cherko protested.  "I just have a dark complexion."
     Any response Dark Chocolate might have made to that was forestalled by the
appearance of Dumb.  Though big, heavily muscled, and not very bright (although he
was somewhat more intelligent than his arena name might suggest), the Orc moved with
grace and power.  And Dark Chocolate, like any healthy young woman, enjoyed watching
such a splendid hunk move.
     Dumb settled onto his personal chair, which happened to be the sturdiest one in
the house, and looked at DC with dim expectation.  "You gonna write for me?"
     "Of course I will," she answered.  "You have achieved an honor, and it should be
acknowledged."  She picked up a quill and dipped it in the inkwell.  "What do you
want to say?"
     Dumb's brow furrowed with the effort of coherent thought.  "Tell Taco I didden
want to hurt pretty little woman.  But glad it's me an not Cherko got to fight.
Fight her again next time if she want."  His frown deepened.  "Why everyone laugh at
me when I win?  I don't unnerstand that."
     "Nobody understands the crowd," Dark Chocolate said quickly.  "They're
capricious--they can't be depended on.  Sometimes they like a winner, sometimes they
like the prettiest fighter, sometimes...who knows what they like?  Don't let that
bother you.  You're the Duelmaster.  You're above that."

                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
IAYE brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  Of course, we're all terribly impressed 
to see MESSENGER BIRD win a fight and gain 19 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, MESSENGER 
BIRD beat QUICKSAND JESUS and QUICKSAND JESUS lost 15 points.  You're breakin' my 
heart.  Our last turn's Duelmaster has lost, folks, lost to KUNG-FU MASTER, and DUMB, 
DUMB has made the way for a new Duelmaster!  With DUMB, DUMB clearing the throne, 
TRIP OUT of SONIC TACO takes a proud seat as IAYE's new Duelmaster, by virtue of 
recognition points.  I'm not in a very good mood today, but why am I telling you 
this?  You want to know what's new, don't you, IAYE?   
     He who fights and runs away will live to fight another day, the coward.  
GAMEHENDGE, I suppose you'll be glad to know you were this turn's most avoided team.  
Care to know who is the most afraid of you?  And who led the way in this mass act of 
cowardice?  Let's see, well, whatcha know?  It was TRIP OUT.  Ha ha ha ha!  Ooh, I'm 
frightfully impressed, HOT JELLO LUV was this turn's most challenged warrior.  Watch 
that ego swell, sports fans.  And we have SHATNER'S WEAVE in a challenge, going down 
8 points for the fight.  Guess what?  I thought SHATNER'S WEAVE showed great skill 
and promise when he was beat by FIREDOG.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big 
     Ah, now we come to my favorite part, where we see all the guys who are dead and 
gone, and get to see if their team cared.  And now a passing thought on a warrior 
dying young (EVIL LIZARD of GAMEHENDGE):  You had your chance and now you're dead.  
Oh well...  Titanium shields and bamboo daggers, guess what brave team is developing 
these kinds of weapons?   
     I was about to buy a new quill pen the other day, but some fighter took it for 
an epee.  Forgive me for writing with a dagger.  Just wait 'till next time I show up 
here, I won't be so nice!  So nyaaah!  I see the crowds are getting restless, I must 
leave now-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SONIC TACO 4337              11   6  1    99       TRIP OUT (287)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BARBET 3396                  21  25  0   107       DOG DAY AFTERNOON (262)
-TECK WEE SEAH 4267            8   3  0    91       PERLIS OPEN (407)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MAD MAX 3874                  6   8  1    85       I TRAINED THEM (331)
 DUMB, DUMB 4235              11  51  0    84       RED DOG GANG (356)
 CHERKO 4288                  19  25  0    82       RED DOG GANG (356)
-PEKINGESE 3575               16  15  0    80       DOG DAY AFTERNOON (262)
-IVY 3857                     11   7  0    77       I TRAINED THEM (331)
-GAZELLE HOUND 3629           11   7  0    73       DOG DAY AFTERNOON (262)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SLOTH 3013                    8   4  1    59       GAMEHENDGE (299)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SHARDIN CRUSHER 172          10   6  2    54       KRYNNIANS II (32)
 TELA 2973                     7   6  0    49       GAMEHENDGE (299)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SNOTMAN 4290                  5   3  1    29       I TRAINED THEM (331)
 MESSENGER BIRD 4414           3   4  0    29       GAMEHENDGE (299)
 HOT JELLO LUV 4407            4   6  0    28       TRIP OUT (287)
-TAR'GYT 4417                  1   3  1    28       KRYNNIANS II (32)
-GREAT DANE 3858               4   3  0    25       DOG DAY AFTERNOON (262)
 SONORA SARA 4411              4   4  0    25       RED DOG GANG (356)
-DARR 4418                     3   2  0    24       KRYNNIANS II (32)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MYCENAE 570                   3   2  0    21       KRYNNIANS II (32)
 DARK CHOCOLATE 4412           4   4  1    17       RED DOG GANG (356)
 FIREDOG 4428                  2   3  0    17       RED DOG GANG (356)
-NULN 4431                     2   0  0    13       I TRAINED THEM (331)
 SHATNER'S WEAVE 4432          2   1  0    13       TRIP OUT (287)
 THE GOOSE 4438                1   0  0    10       RUNNERS (426)
-WANKER X 4354                 2   1  1     9       SQUAD WANKERSON (419)
 QUICKSAND JESUS 4429          2   2  0     8       TRIP OUT (287)
-RILLION 4313                  1   1  0     7       I TRAINED THEM (331)
 ERRAND WOLFE 4433             0   1  0     1       GAMEHENDGE (299)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
EVIL LIZARD 4413       6  1 1 GAMEHENDGE 299        VISITING ORC 367      462 NONE    
UNIT MONSTER 4419      0  2 0 GAMEHENDGE 299        WANKER X 4354         458 NOT REVE
SUPA DUPA FLY 4415     4  3 0 TRIP OUT 287          ARENAMASTER PENRU 382 462 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Hot Jello Luv -- (shivering and backing away)  I don't think I like that. -- Firedog

Quicksand Jesus -- I will console myself with... Dark Chocolate
P.S.  Finest kind there is.

Shardin Crusher -- Good thing I'm not a shardin, huh? -- Cherko
P.S.  What IS a shardin, and why do you crush it?

Mycenae -- Think of me as a barbarian invasion, my boy. -- Sonora Sara

31 October 2003
     Come one, come all, to the greatest contest in Alastari!  The Third Annual Turf
War will be in North Fork (DM 47) starting in about 6-7 turns....  C'mon and get your
team some experience, and get declared!
     More info available in North Fork's newsletter.
     Bloody Sands. -- Asmo Dius, TCB

13 November 2003
Let it be known far and wide, that the Warrior TUM 18-7380, the Champions Runner-Up
for the recent Tournament, is managed by none other than Shocking Toad.  I named this
fabulous warrior after my friend and mentor, TUM, a.k.a. Don!  Sorry TUM didn't get
me my first TC; however, a runner-up with all those sandbaggers is pretty impressive,
if I do say so myself. -- Shocking Toad, The Manager

13 November 2003
All -- This is to announce that I am no longer a member of the Vendetta Cartel
Alliance.  I have enjoyed my time there, and I've made some great friends.  Their
company will be missed, but they will endure.  I wish them well. -- Apex

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SUPA DUPA FLY was butchered by ARENAMASTER PENRUE in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
SONIC TACO demolished CHERKO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge Title melee.
SHATNER'S WEAVE was savagely defeated by FIREDOG in a 3 minute bloody Challenge duel.
HOT JELLO LUV devastated DARK CHOCOLATE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
DUMB, DUMB was savagely defeated by KUNG-FU MASTER in a 2 minute competition.
EVIL LIZARD was narrowly killed by VISITING ORC in a 1 minute struggle.
TELA overpowered SONORA SARA in a 1 minute gory mismatched brawl.
SLOTH viciously subdued THE HONEST MERCHANT in a action packed 2 minute melee.
MESSENGER BIRD vanquished QUICKSAND JESUS in a 1 minute uneven fight.
ERRAND WOLFE was vanquished by THE GOOSE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-LUNGE        8 -   2 -  0      80  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         LUNGING ATTACK    24 -  16 -  2      60  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         SLASHING ATTACK   14 -  10 -  1      58  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         TOTAL PARRY       11 -   8 -  1      58  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-STRIKE      11 -  10 -  0      52  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         WALL OF STEEL     11 -  10 -  2      52  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         BASHING ATTACK    13 -  14 -  2      48  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         STRIKING ATTACK   16 -  18 -  0      47  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -   8 -  1      43  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   0         AIMED BLOW         6 -  11 -  1      35  |

Turn 462 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         2  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK     0 -  0         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2         1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  2         1  AIMED BLOW     
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK
                                                                1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                                                                1  STRIKING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-STRIKE     SONIC TACO 4337            11   6  1   99 TRIP OUT (287)
PARRY-LUNGE      SLOTH 3013                  8   4  1   59 GAMEHENDGE (299)
SLASHING ATTACK  TELA 2973                   7   6  0   49 GAMEHENDGE (299)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is CHERKO 4288.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
SLOTH 3013.  The ten other most popular fighters were FIREDOG 4428, SONIC TACO 4337, 

The least popular fighter this week was ERRAND WOLFE 4433.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were QUICKSAND JESUS 4429, SONORA SARA 4411, DARK CHOCOLATE 4412, 
4438, EVIL LIZARD 4413, and HOT JELLO LUV 4407.