Date   : 05/14/2008    Duedate: 05/27/2008


DM-30    TURN-575

This Weeks Top Honors


(30-4690) [14-12-1,110]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

THE WARLOCKS (430)             
(30-4725) [17-7-1,116]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

IRISH CREAM                    WINDSONG
RED DOG GANG (356)             RED DOG GANG (356)
(30-4654) [17-24-0,84]         (30-4702) [16-15-1,92]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. LENPROS (145)               28
2. RED DOG GANG (356)          19      THE WARLOCKS (430)
3. THE WARLOCKS (430)           3      Unchartered Team
4. GAMEHENDGE (299)             1
5. COWGIRLS (460)               0      TEAM FIVE (369)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 THE WARLOCKS (430)       193 121 11 61.5   1/ 2 RED DOG GANG (356)        8  7 0
 2/ 2 LENPROS (145)            998 652 29 60.5   2/ 4 LENPROS (145)             7  3 0
 3/ 3 THE A'S -- LOSERS  (431) 246 191  7 56.3   3/ 1 THE A'S -- LOSERS  (431)  6  2 0
 4/ 4 GAMEHENDGE (299)         203 186 11 52.2   4/ 3 THE WARLOCKS (430)        4  2 0
 5/ 5 RED DOG GANG (356)       560 726 12 43.5   5/ 5 GAMEHENDGE (299)          1  5 0
 6- 6*COWGIRLS (460)             1   2  0 33.3   6- 6*COWGIRLS (460)            0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #5 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     Lenpro watched the last of the gladiators leave, clearing the common room of the
Krill Cavalry guildhouse for his conference with Fandil.  They were probably decent
people, but he didn't know them, and the situation did not incline him to trust any
     "It will be fine," Fandil said.  "They won't go blabbing about our presence, and
they won't hear anything that matters, anyway."  He gestured, and a faint shimmer
sprang up, form a hemisphere in the room, enclosing the two of them.  "This will
ensure that there are no eavesdroppers."
     After a moment, Lenpro shrugged.  "Okay, it's what we've got to work with,
anyway.  Where do we start, then?"
     "With the king, I think.  No one's heard seen him in... two or three years, at
least, I think?"
     Lenpro nodded.  "At least."
     "Nor heard anything that constitutes persuasive evidence that he is still alive,
still functional, and concerned with his job."
     Lenpro nodded again, imapatiently.  "I know all that.  You know all that--"
     "Just making sure we both know that we both know," Fandil said.  "Assumptions
are the shifting sands under faulty planning.  All the information we can gather
indicates that the king has spent the past several years on the Isle, never leaving
it.  Anything official coming out of Andor is signed by Herlas d'Arenju, styling
himself 'First Minister to the King'.  He is said to be Fratsfan, but he isn't listed
in the Fratsfan Register of Noble Houses and Scions."
     "Does that matter?  That he isn't a nobleman?"
     "I don't suppose so, in itself.  But I would like to find some indication of his
background, somewhere.  At this point," Fandil said, suddenly exasperated, "I can't
even prove that he's Frastfan!"
     "Or that he's ill-intentioned," Lenpro added, scowling.  "He could just be
really stupid when it comes to running a government."
     "Or the front man for a committee," Fandil agreed.
     Lenpro nodded but brushed the issue aside.  "Same thing.  That isn't one of the
core questions.  Later, it might be important, but first," he paused to make sure he
had Fandil's full attention, "the first question is, Do we believe that the true and
proper king of Andoria is doing his proper job?"
     The two managers locked eyes over the scarred table.  "No," they said
     "Okay, second question, is there anything we can do to bring the king back to
the point of doing that job?"  He waved one hand casually.  "Setting aside the matter
of whether or not we can get at the king.  IF we can reach the king, do we believe he
can be gotten back on the job?"
     A silence.  A long silence.  The clock against the guildhouse wall ticked,
chimed, struck the hour, ticked on.  Finally Fandil sighed.  "No," he said again.
"Not according to the little I've heard."
     Lenpro nodded again.  "Third question:  Does the king have recognized heirs?"
     "No.  No one that any person has seen or heard of in years.  The rumors..." the
old mage shrugged, "they're said to have vanished from the Isle, probably into some
other dimension.  Regardless, they're gone."
     "Right, so we're talking about establishing a new royal line, or trying for some
other form of government, but at the least, we're talking a rebellion."
     "If there's effectively no king--"
     "There's a bureaucracy, inefficient and corrupt as it is, which is the
acknowledged legal channel of government," Lenpro said.  "You think they're going to
smile and say, 'Oh, what a good idea, we're behind you all the way!'?  I don't.
They'll fight."
     "No army to speak of."
     "Plenty of assassins, though."
     "I don't think one of the, ah, non-royal types of government would work in
Andoria at this time," Fandil said.  "I've seen them elsewhere, and people have to be
prepared before they can accept such an order and make it work.  But king-making...
that's tricky."
     Lenpro smiled, for the first time since the meeting had begun.  "We've got a
perfect candidate ready to hand," he said.  "The Fratsfan Emperor Alonj."

The Isle of the Eye:

     "I will never eat fish again," Senator Sedalia muttered from under the cover of
the tarp.
     "You won't need to," Gissanniah whispered back.  "You're going to have as much
trouble getting that smell out of your mustache as I will getting it of my hair."
     Sedalia's hand went automatically to his mustache, and he sighed.  It was limp
and untidy, in need of a wash, a trim, and fresh waxing.  "It's a sacrifice," he
agreed, "but a senator does what he must for his constituents."  He sighed
theatrically, teasing a smile out of his companion.  It was part of his duty, after
all, to keep her spirits up.  "How much longer will we have to lie here waiting, I
     Gissanniah raised her head just enough to peer through a crack in the side of
the cart.  "I don't see our driver anywhere," she said after a moment.  "At least, he
isn't on this side of the cart."
     Both gladiators listened for a moment to the sound of voices.  Too far away for
them to make out the words, their driver was talking to... someone.  Not guards, this
was no checkpoint, but someone.  Stung by a sudden surmise, Sedalia glanced across at
his companion.  Gissanniah was looking toward him, eyes widening with the same
     "He's betraying us," Sedalia said, certainty crystalizing as he said the words.
     "He promised he wouldn't tell any of the guards--"
     "He said nothing about not telling other people... who might carry word to the
guards.  Out, of here, now!  Your side is probably the less observed."
     "Right."  Gissanniah twitched up the tarp, peered out, then slid through the
smallest possible opening.  "Clear right now," she said.
     The senator followed.  Good so far.  The sides of the cart were so high that
whoever was talking on the other side could not see them, and it was only thirty feet
to the edge of the woods.  Sedalia didn't know why Lady Sheila had decreed that most
of the Isle was to be left wooded, but he was glad of it now.  The two of them walked
quietly on a straight line from the cart to the trees.  No one tried to stop them,
called out, no one appeared at all.
     Once they were under cover, Sedalia stopped and looked back.  "That was too
easy," he said.


     "Alonj?"  Fandil's eyebrows rose.  "I have always undestood that he is simple-
minded at best, possibly unstable."
     "You're out of touch," Lenpro said.  "Lady Fern has been back in Fratsfa for
some time now, and she's observed the government there closely.  She says that he's
'sane, steady, decent, and of at least normal intelligence'--her theory is that he
was manipulated by his regents and advisors to give the impression of incompetence."
     "And what's to stop them from being no better than the bureaucracy in Andor?"
     "His wife.  According to Lady Fern, the Empress Kitiara is... very firm, very
competent, very loyal, rather dangerous in her own right, and she's given Alonj three
children already--two sons and a daughter."


     Herlas d'Arenju frowned at the Chief Scribe.  "I don't know what you're playing
at, Hesselbod, but I don't like what I'm seeing and hearing.  A semblance of
normality--you said this yourself--is essential to maintaining order.  An increase in
taxes and an edict of conscription to double the size of the standing army is not
     The bureaucrat shrugged minimally, his face remaining blank.  "There are
increasing reports of trouble in the Karnhorn area," he said.  "That makes an
increase in the army and the taxes proper.  If we later end up using them for other
things, that's later."
     "Not very much later!"
     "The Aruaki have always been troublemakers," the scribe said.  "Allowing them to
settle here in the first place was the mistake.  I merely propose that it's time to
take corrective measures.  This five-step program should do what is needful.  First,
close the border of the Clanholds--"
     "Easy to say, hard to do," Herlas countered.  "Land and water both?  And what
     "You have described yourself as a magician," Hesselbod said.  "Prove it now.
Cage the beast-people as the first step in our campaign to exterminate them."

                                      SPY REPORT

     If you were disturbed from your beauty rest only to have to watch a bunch of 
IAYE brutes like you, you'd be grouchy, too.  Later days, THE A'S -- LOSERS II, since 
RED DOG GANG took top team from you this turn, you guys are old news.  Now let's all 
watch RED DOG GANG's heads swell from their 4-1-0 this turn.  Haa ha ha ha!  Big 
shots, big talk, big deal.  Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see FRANKLINS 
TOWER win a fight and gain 9 points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, PRINCE POLIOLES beat HELP 
ON THE WAY and HELP ON THE WAY lost 6 points.  You're breakin' my heart.  Looks like 
IAYE has some guts at least, WORLD CHUMPS the Duelmaster was this turn's 
most-challenged warrior.  PRIVATE PERNA challenged IAYE's Duelmaster for a shot at 
the throne.  And it's out with the old, in with the new, as PRIVATE PERNA takes the 
Title and last week's bar tab from the old Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  I'm not in a very 
good mood today, but why am I telling you this?  You want to know what's new, don't 
you, IAYE?   
     My mother always told me, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, start 
talking.' I loved that woman.  IAYE, I am losing what little hope I had in you.  RED 
DOG GANG the most avoided team?  What insult will suffice, I cannot say.  And who led 
the way in this mass act of cowardice?  Let's see, well, whatcha know?  It was 
LENPROS.  Ha ha ha ha!   
     Death and Taxes.  The less death I see, the more it taxes my patience.  Let's 
see if anyone's dead or dying.  Titanium shields and bamboo daggers, guess what brave 
team is developing these kinds of weapons?   
     I was about to buy a new quill pen the other day, but some fighter took it for 
an epee.  Forgive me for writing with a dagger.  Phlllt!  Just had to do that before 
I leave the fine city of IAYE.  I feel much better now.  Glad to see the back of this 
place-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PRIVATE PERNA 4690           14  12  1   110       LENPROS (145)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FRANKLINS TOWER 4725         17   7  1   116       THE WARLOCKS (430)
 FENCE POST 4604              19  41  0    98       RED DOG GANG (356)
 MAD CARMENCITA 4766          12   1  1    97       RED DOG GANG (356)
 WORLD CHUMPS 4726            18   6  0    92       THE A'S -- LOSERS II (431)
 WINDSONG 4702                16  15  1    92       RED DOG GANG (356)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 IRISH CREAM 4654             17  24  0    84       RED DOG GANG (356)
 OUT OF TIME 4681             18  20  1    75       GAMEHENDGE (299)
 PRINCE POLIOLES 4742          8   5  0    73       LENPROS (145)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BAINES 4724                  13  11  0    58       GAMEHENDGE (299)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OZZIE CANSECO 4723           15   9  0    55       THE A'S -- LOSERS II (431)
 HELP ON THE WAY 4717          8  16  1    49       THE WARLOCKS (430)
-BROTHER J.J. 4728             6   5  0    46       LENPROS (145)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LITTLE ROCKY 4768             9   2  0    44       RED DOG GANG (356)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PRINCESS KURTZ 4776           3   4  0    33       LENPROS (145)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SIR CARLSON 4777              2   0  0    10       LENPROS (145)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Klink -- I went "clank" and missed my chance at DM.  A salute to your superior
skills, Lord Protector. -- Private Perna

Ozzie Canseco -- You were way, way, way too experienced and skilled for me.  Besides,
my father warned me never to go out with older men. -- Princess Kurtz

Polite Beggar -- That you were. -- Sir Carlson

No more low profile!  Something is wrong with the King.  And it will be great working
with my elder brother, Fandil The Wise, to better our world.  Health.  Humility.
Honor. -- Lenpro

Fence Post -- Perhaps you should look at it this way...you are one fence post who
will not be hampered by the drought! -- Private Perna

Franklins Tower -- Jealous, that's all it is.  You think because you're BIGGER, you
make a better post than I do.  Ha.  Beyond certain limits, which you exceeded long
ago, bigger is NOT better.  You lack my flair, of course, which is to be expected of
someone so hasty. -- Fence Post

World Chumps -- Don't look at ME, I'm not duelmaster material. -- Windsong

Out of Time -- Somebody is, but not me!  And you're out of a lot of other things,
too, yes? -- Mad Carmencita

Baines -- (panting)  I enjoyed that, hope you did, too. -- Irish Cream

Help on the Way -- People keep saying that, but only AAA means it. -- Little Rocky

Private Perna -- You needed something acidic?  Must be because you have such a
"salty" personality, then. -- Fence Post

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

PRIVATE PERNA bested WORLD CHUMPS in a 1 minute master's Challenge Title fight.
FRANKLINS TOWER demolished FENCE POST in a 1 minute gory one-sided melee.
MAD CARMENCITA vanquished NOBLE ASSASSIN in a popular 1 minute mismatched brawl.
OUT OF TIME was defeated by WINDSONG in a crowd pleasing 3 minute master's match.
IRISH CREAM won victory over BAINES in a exciting 2 minute bloody master's fight.
PRINCE POLIOLES handily defeated HELP ON THE WAY in a 1 minute uneven fight.
LITTLE ROCKY won victory over PRINCESS KURTZ in a popular 3 minute duel.
OZZIE CANSECO won victory over AMBITIOUS GUARD in a 2 minute gory duel.
SIR CARLSON defeated FRIENDLY CONSTABLE in a tiring 5 minute beginner's match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         PARRY-STRIKE       9 -   2 -  0      82  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         AIMED BLOW        24 -  11 -  1      69  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         WALL OF STEEL     20 -  12 -  0      63  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         PARRY-LUNGE       11 -   8 -  0      58  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         LUNGING ATTACK     7 -   6 -  1      54  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   1         SLASHING ATTACK    1 -   1 -  0      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         TOTAL PARRY       14 -  18 -  0      44  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         BASHING ATTACK     7 -   9 -  1      44  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         STRIKING ATTACK    7 -  10 -  0      41  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 575 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         1 -  2         3  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  AIMED BLOW     
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  0         1  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  1                                       1  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  2                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  PARRY-LUNGE    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  PRIVATE PERNA 4690         14  12  1  110 LENPROS (145)
AIMED BLOW       FRANKLINS TOWER 4725       17   7  1  116 THE WARLOCKS (430)
WALL OF STEEL    MAD CARMENCITA 4766        12   1  1   97 RED DOG GANG (356)
BASHING ATTACK   PRINCE POLIOLES 4742        8   5  0   73 LENPROS (145)
PARRY-LUNGE      OZZIE CANSECO 4723         15   9  0   55 THE A'S -- LOSERS II (431)
TOTAL PARRY      LITTLE ROCKY 4768           9   2  0   44 RED DOG GANG (356)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is IRISH CREAM 4654.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was WINDSONG 4702.  The ten other most popular fighters were PRINCESS KURTZ 
and FENCE POST 4604.

The least popular fighter this week was SIR CARLSON 4777.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were BAINES 4724, HELP ON THE WAY 4717, OUT OF TIME 4681, FENCE POST 
4766, OZZIE CANSECO 4723, and LITTLE ROCKY 4768.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

FENCE POST (30-4604) RED DOG GANG (356)