Date   : 11/25/2009    Duedate: 12/08/2009


DM-30    TURN-615

This Weeks Top Honors


(30-4800) [10-0-0,114]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

HIPS                           POSITION IS EMPTY
HER BEST ASSETS (461)          
(30-4800) [10-0-0,114]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

SPUD                           SPUD
RED DOG GANG (356)             RED DOG GANG (356)
(30-4783) [17-22-0,81]         (30-4783) [17-22-0,81]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. HER BEST ASSETS (461)       57
2. LENPROS (145)               16      LENPROS (145)
3. THE WARLOCKS (430)           1      Unchartered Team
4. ALL JACKED UP (463)          0
5. RED DOG GANG (356)         -27      BOUND4GLORY (320)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1 ALL JACKED UP (463)       32  18  4 64.0   1/ 2 LENPROS (145)             8  5 0
 2/ 2 LENPROS (145)            %1127 690 32 62.0   2- 1 ALL JACKED UP (463)       7  3 1
 3/ 3 THE WARLOCKS (430)       208 155 12 57.3   3/ 4 HER BEST ASSETS (461)     7  3 0
 4/ 4 HER BEST ASSETS (461)     22  18  1 55.0   4/ 3 RED DOG GANG (356)        4 10 0
 5/ 5 RED DOG GANG (356)       653 830 14 44.0   5/ 5 THE WARLOCKS (430)        0  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

        + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Andorian Succession #38 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

West of Fratsfa:

     "Now what?" Elosjon asked.
     "Now we make a plan," Fandil said.  "I suppose you don't know anything about the
castle, or any more about the magician there except that he's probably the son of the
last lord of Mountain Home and went somewhere far away to study?"
     Elosjon shook his head.
     "Not a problem, we can work with what we've got already," Fandil said, patting
his shoulder.  "And really, the hint of Chaos Magic is enough."  The old mage's face
set grimly and suddenly looked a lot older than seemed possible.  "He's been studying
Folstrom materials, even if he didn't find the Folstrom themselves to study with."
     Folstrom!  Elosjon shuddered.  The Folstrom, who had nearly destroyed Alastari
once--with Chaos Magic--were the monsters who lurked at the back of every
Alastarian's mind, the ultimate image of evil and depravity, never to be forgiven.
How could anyone seek out their learning?  He asked the question aloud.
     "Some people would go into the very heart of wickedness in search of power, and
vengeance is a strong motive, too," Fandil said.  He sighed and sat down on a tree
root.  "He will not be easy to defeat, but we have learned a few things since the
Folstrom were driven away.  Sit down, boy, so I don't have to strain my neck talking
to you.  I am going to tell you spells that you will never, on pain of worse than
death, repeat, nor even use if it isn't the most desperate last chance."
     "Why?"  Elsojon slid down to sit beside him.  "Why keep them secret, why not use
them, why tell me at all?"
     "Because these spells are as dangerous in their way as Chaos Magic, because
there is a good chance that using them will destroy you, and because someone has to
know them and be ready to use them as the final reserve.  This is a battle to death
and beyond, young man, and we must make what preparations we can."
     The young mage took a deep breath, rubbed his suddenly-sweating hands down his
robe, and nodded.  "Okay."
     Fandil leaned closer to him, dropping his voice to a near whisper, and began to
describe spells.
                         *****   ***   *****   ***   *****
     Elosjon blinked, wondering where the day had gone.  How could it be evening
already?  Or maybe it was evening of the next day, or even two or three days later--
he felt stuffed with arcane knowledge, and it might have taken a long time to pour
all that into him.  He was afraid to move suddenly lest all that magic slosh around
and confuse the spells.  Or spill out uncontrolled.  He couldn't say he'd LEARNED
them, but he was full of them as a bottle might be full of wine.  He understood
Fandil's warnings now.  He would rather carry live coals in his bare hands than the
spells now lodged in his mind.  Still, it was his job to do.  Fandil, a mage with a
towering reputation, was trusting him to do it.
     He looked at Fandil, sitting beside him.  "Now what?"
     "Now we sleep, because darkness favors our Enemy, and we cannot give him that
advantage.  And because we need sleep if we are to be at our best."


     The portal was just a portal and presented no bar to their passage.  Sizzling
Sunflower blinked around at the run-down section of the city to which they had
returned.  It seemed unexpectedly ordinary.  Orderly, despite the litter.  The
buildings were all... square, or at least rectangular, all stone-colored, or brick.
The people all human.  She shook her head.  "I hadn't realized that things were so
conservative," she muttered.
     "Predictable," Lenpro agreed.  "Just as well.  Humans were not meant to live in
     "There were people back there--"  She turned back toward the portal, but there
was nothing to see now.  Just a street, cracked pavement, grubby house-fronts,
drooping trees.
     "People," the manager admitted, "but not humans.  And I would guess not for
long.  That pocket universe is inherently unstable.  But it may not be the only one
of its kind, and I can't believe that it's good for our universe to have those
clustered on it like leeches, so we'd better find my brother and tell him about it.
Fandil will know what to do with a magical problem of that kind."
     "I guess.  But it was an interesting place to visit, if you don't have to live
there."  She started along the street in what she figured was a westerly direction,
toward the better part of the city.  After a moment, she added, "There was a mob here
when we went in.  I kind of thought they'd wait."
     Lenpro glanced up at the sky.  "It's late morning now, and we went through the
portal in the afternoon.  So it's been nearly a day, at the least.  Most mobs don't 
have that much patience."
     "That long?  It didn't seem more than an hour or two that we were in there!"
     "Some day when you have a week to spare, ask Fandil to explain 'temporal
discontinuity' and 'meta-subjective time' to you.  We're probably lucky--I hope we're
lucky--we didn't get back BEFORE we left."

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 315): CONSTERNATION of CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 633): YELLOW FEVER of COLORIFIC (Purple People Eater, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 632): TYNE of OTAGO HIGHLANDERS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 617): HOTL MUSCHEL of MIDDLE WAY 15 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 622): WILD FIRE of DISASTER (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 617): BELLE ISSIMO of FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 616): KETTELMAN of GOLDEN CHANYON (Jorja, mgr)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 614): HIPS of HER BEST ASSETS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 580): TERILEE LINZ of BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 575): THE WAIT of THE PLAGUE (Reaper, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 566): BROTHER JEROME of FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 263): PHOBOPHOBIA of WATCH OUT! (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 465): VALNAKORINE of WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 217): WITCH of DOGS OF WAR (?, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 518): THE PING RANGER of SUPERIOR FORCES X (Manager, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 315): CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 633): ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 632): ACTION HEROES (?, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 617): MIDDLE WAY 15 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 622): MEDAL OF HONOR Z3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 617): DARK FORCES (?, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 616): FIRST LADIES (?, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 614): ALL JACKED UP (Dr. Fil, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 580): BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 575): THE STORM FRONT (The Storm Lord, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 565): SERPENT'S HOLD (Khisanth?, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 263): BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 465): MEDAL OF HONOR J3 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 217): THE ZOO (Jorja, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 518): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 315): CONSTERNATION of CONSANGUINEOUS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 632): PUP TENT of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
                               SHOTGUN GHANDI of ARMED & GREGARIOUS (TMM, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 616): ELLIRN KOUL of MIDDLE WAY 15 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 622): LORMIN GARDE of KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 616): WORKER BEE of WEE BEE BAD (Dartor, mgr.)
                              SAML ULRON of THE MIDDLE WAY 4 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 616): KETTELMAN of GOLDEN CHANYON (Jorja, mgr)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 613): HELP ON THE WAY of THE WARLOCKS (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 580): TERILEE LINZ of BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 575): STANLOY MEDAR of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 263): BEXLY of OHIO (Berylstar, mgr.)
                (turn 262): NOVERCAPHOBIA of WATCH OUT! (Soultaker, mgr.)
                            OUTCAST ORCHID of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     I was going on vacation, see?  Surf, sun...  But what do those bums say?  "Hit 
the road, Debby Tonte.  IAYE needs a spyreport."  Oh, well.  Too bad, ALL JACKED UP, 
but LENPROS was just too good to be stopped.  Cut this out and put it in your 
scrapbooks, HER BEST ASSETS!  'Cause they got 4-0-0 and moved up to 3rd!  MVP award 
for CLEAVAGE?  HER BEST ASSETS' proud of her after beating STRIPE and getting 19 
points.  Talk about yer major upsets!  DIGGITY DOG's match with VIRGINAL CONCUBINE 
cost him a loss of 13 points!  Like THE WARLOCKS' HELP ON THE WAY is sweating since 
it got challenged by Duelmaster HIPS!  Don't you think the Duelmaster is being 
unfair?  I think HIPS should let HELP ON THE WAY be Duelmaster for a while, without 
fighting about it.  I hear the top team insists all their warriors get nine hours 
sleep.  They want photogenic fighters for PR photos.   
     Look, you guys stick to fighting, all right?  The warriors of HER BEST ASSETS 
must be getting lonely.  They were the most avoided team.  Do you guys know something 
that I don't?  I don't know what LENPROS' been doing.  They certainly haven't been 
accepting many fights from HER BEST ASSETS, that's fer sher.  Like, is HELP ON THE 
WAY popular, or what?  It was challenged the most in all of IAYE!  It's got a 
17-47-2, is that good?   
     Challenges, revenges, Bloodfeuds.  All IAYE ever talks about is fighting!  Me, 
I'm more laid back.  So RED DOG GANG has one more turn to Bloodfeud ALL JACKED UP's 
CRACKER JACK.  Big deal.  SPECKLE's dead.  What's the point?  Ya just gotta go on.  
Don't look back...  Fight, fight, fight.  Is that all you guys can do?   
     Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain.  Soak it in cold water, and hand 
wash.  I'm getting tired of writing this stuff, so I'm calling it quits.  Remember 
you guys, ease up sometimes!  Chill out!  Later, Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HIPS 4800                    10   0  0   114       HER BEST ASSETS (461)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MAJOR MARTIN 4807            17   2  0    87       LENPROS (145)
 SENATOR WILEY 4821            7   3  0    86       LENPROS (145)
 SPUD 4783                    17  22  0    81       RED DOG GANG (356)
 DIGGITY DOG 4793             11  15  0    72       RED DOG GANG (356)
-JACK DANIELS 4813             6   4  0    67       ALL JACKED UP (463)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MOONDOG 4790                 13  22  1    62       RED DOG GANG (356)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-JACK THE RIPPER 4817          8   2  0    52       ALL JACKED UP (463)
-JACK HAMMER 4815              6   4  1    51       ALL JACKED UP (463)
-CRACKER JACK 4824             5   2  2    48       ALL JACKED UP (463)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-JACK KNIFE 4814               5   5  1    30       ALL JACKED UP (463)
 SISTER MARY JANE 4831         4   1  0    27       LENPROS (145)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BEE-STUNG LIPS 4829           3   1  0    23       HER BEST ASSETS (461)
 CLEAVAGE 4838                 1   0  0    19       HER BEST ASSETS (461)
 WHITE THIGHS 4833             1   0  0    15       HER BEST ASSETS (461)
 TOUCH 4837                    1   0  0    12       HER BEST ASSETS (461)
 LITTLE ROSIE 4834             2   2  0    11       RED DOG GANG (356)
 STRIPE 4835                   1   1  0     4       RED DOG GANG (356)
 DR DERSCH 4830                0   2  0     2       LENPROS (145)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LADY LILLIAN 4836             0   1  0     1       LENPROS (145)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
SENSUAL SMILE 4828      0  3 0 HER BEST ASSETS 461  JACK KNIFE 4814       613   
FIFI DELITE 4810        5  9 0 RED DOG GANG 356     CRACKER JACK 4824     611  NOT REVENGED
SPECKLE 4819            7  3 1 RED DOG GANG 356     CRACKER JACK 4824     612   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Congratulations to Duelmaster Hips.  What a nice looking posterior!  I am so looking
forward to the DM Column. -- Lenpro

Lord Protector Help On The Way -- Way to go.  Enjoy The Isle. -- All Us Lenpros

All Jacked Ups all over the Stylemaster List!  How cool is that!?  Kudos! -- Lenpro

Ahhhhh, Jack Daniels, just because you schnockered me twice before didn't mean it had
to happen again, did it?  AA does wonders for one--even a Politician. -- Senator

Bee Stung Lips -- You were so kind to challenge, but I am sort of impervious to your
allure.  I have a higher calling.  I shall probably see you again in the future, but,
for now, I must go to the chapel. -- Sister Mary Jane

Moondog -- Ruff, ruff.  (Or should I say, rough, rough?) -- Major Martin

All Jacked Up -- TOP chartered team!  Well done.  Very well done. -- Lenpro

What am I doing up so high in the rankings?  It isn't election year for me!
Someone's going to assassinate me! -- Senator Wiley

Dr. Fil -- Glad to see you doing well.  Glad you are here.  Moderate KDs?  Vitals?
Hmmmmm. We have a long way to go to make you Andorian, don't we?  Health.  Humility.
Honor. -- Lenpro
P.S.  Pleased to see you don't avoid.  We like to challenge.  (wink)

We just wanted to send out a "hip, hip" to our "alliance-mate," Outcast Orchid, who
is having one heck of an adventure saving the world. -- The Lenpros

Jack Hammer -- Thanks for the compliment.  A good politician must be decisive.  Yes,
sir.  But not all the time--sometimes we are doggone defensive and we like to slash
out or lunge at the opposition a lot. -- Senator Wiley

Hips -- Wow, a title fight!  Hot... Diggity Dog
P.S.  It's a good thing I didn't win.  I wouldn't know how to behave.

Help on the Way -- People say that a lot, but it doesn't mean much to a dog. -- Spud

Major Martin -- It's been that kind of a day.  Sometimes I'm the lamp post. --

Jack Knife -- Mean, aren't you? -- Little Rosie

My momma always told me not to trust people with shifty eyes. -- Stripe

Major Martin -- (tail wags and tongue lolls out the side of his mouth) -- Diggity Dog

Our congratulations to Help On the Way.  Perhaps it finally is. -- Jorja and the Red
Dog Gang

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

HIPS devastated HELP ON THE WAY in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title fight.
MAJOR MARTIN overcame SPUD in a 4 minute veteran's Challenge match.
DIGGITY DOG was vanquished by VIRGINAL CONCUBINE in a 1 minute mismatched brawl.
SENATOR WILEY overpowered MOONDOG in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fight.
SISTER MARY JANE was devastated by RUTHLESS JAYWALKER in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
DR DERSCH was overpowered by TOUCH in a popular 1 minute mismatched brawl.
LITTLE ROSIE unbelievably bested LADY LILLIAN in a 1 minute beginner's melee.
STRIPE was vanquished by CLEAVAGE in a action packed 1 minute one-sided duel.
WHITE THIGHS vanquished POLITE BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         SLASHING ATTACK   13 -   4 -  1      76  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         TOTAL PARRY       15 -   5 -  0      75  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      8 -   3 -  0      73  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         STRIKING ATTACK   20 -  11 -  2      65  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         LUNGING ATTACK    18 -  10 -  2      64  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         WALL OF STEEL      5 -   5 -  0      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         BASHING ATTACK     5 -   8 -  1      38  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         AIMED BLOW        11 -  20 -  0      35  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   8 -  0      20  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-STRIKE       2 -   9 -  0      18  |

Turn 615 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  3         2  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         2  AIMED BLOW     
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  SLASHING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  1         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                                                                1  PARRY-STRIKE   
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                                                                1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  LUNGING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
SLASHING ATTACK  HIPS 4800                  10   0  0  114 HER BEST ASSETS (461)
TOTAL PARRY      MAJOR MARTIN 4807          17   2  0   87 LENPROS (145)
STRIKING ATTACK  SENATOR WILEY 4821          7   3  0   86 LENPROS (145)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is SPUD 4783.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
SPUD 4783.  The ten other most popular fighters were SENATOR WILEY 4821, HIPS 4800, 
LILLIAN 4836, STRIPE 4835, and MAJOR MARTIN 4807.

The least popular fighter this week was SISTER MARY JANE 4831.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were MOONDOG 4790, DIGGITY DOG 4793, MAJOR MARTIN 4807, STRIPE 4835, 
4838, and TOUCH 4837.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn: