Date   : 08/29/2012    Duedate: 09/11/2012


DM-30    TURN-687

This Weeks Top Honors


(30-3813) [16-12-0,114]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

KAIJHEK                        POSITION IS EMPTY
WRATHMEN (59)                  
(30-3813) [16-12-0,114]        

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

SPECKLE                        BLIND LEMON
RED DOG GANG (356)             DELTA BLUES (374)
(30-4939) [17-11-0,81]         (30-4946) [16-9-0,101]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. ALL JACKED UP (463)         46
2. HER BEST ASSETS (461)       16      LENPROS (145)
3. WRATHMEN (59)               10      Unchartered Team
4. DELTA BLUES (374)            4
5. PACE'S WILD (321)            0      WORDS I HATE (328)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 LENPROS (145)            %1312 767 40 63.1   1/ 3 ALL JACKED UP (463)      11  4 4
 2/ 2 WRATHMEN (59)            280 224 12 55.6   2/ 1 WRATHMEN (59)            10  3 1
 3/ 3 HER BEST ASSETS (461)     86  81 12 51.5   3/ 2 LENPROS (145)            10  5 0
 4/ 4 ALL JACKED UP (463)      141 134 21 51.3   4/ 6 DELTA BLUES (374)         6  9 0
 5- 5 PACE'S WILD (321)         73  71 15 50.7   5/ 5 RED DOG GANG (356)        4 10 0
 6/ 6 DELTA BLUES (374)        131 130  3 50.2   6- 4 PACE'S WILD (321)         2  3 0
 7/ 7 RED DOG GANG (356)       813 %1026 17 44.2   7/ 7 HER BEST ASSETS (461)     0  9 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     I personally did not see the archbishop storm out of the casino on the opening
night, but he has made quite a fuss since his departure.  Apparently he has organized
protests against my establishment.  I think it's time to go pay the good archbishop a
     As I approach the cathedral where the archbishop resides, I hear the whispers
and comments of the church staff from the disbelief of my presence at the church.  I
whip up a devilish smile and a confident stroll and enter the threshold of the
cathedral gates.  The place is unbelievable. If you don't believe in god when you
enter here, the feeling of entering the gates of heaven itself is enough to make you
a true believer.  Statues of religious icons adorn the walls with huge panes of
painted glass in between each of the figures.  The ceiling itself is a masterpiece of
heaven carved and painted depicting a story of a war amongst angels.  After taking in
the sheer awe of the church for several minutes, I approach the altar to show my
respects and ask for forgiveness.  I kneel before the altar, cup the holy water in
hand and drink, go through the shape of a cross from head to chest, open my eyes and
stand only to see  Archbishop Arndt standing over me.  "Good Morning, sir," I say as
I finish my stance.
     "Good Day Mr. Sajak, what brings you here?"
     "I'm here to resolve this issue we seem to have, good sir.  Let's go somewhere
more private so we can perhaps reach an agreement?"
     The archbishop nods and turns toward the extensive walk to his private chambers.
As we enter his chambers, he makes his way to the decanter and pours us both a goblet
of wine and motions for me to sit.
     I take the wine and quickly kill it in one gulp, slam the vessel down on his
desk and say, "This is a very dangerous game you play with me.  Here is my only
proposal."  I calmly pull out my assassin's dagger and place it on the desk in front
of the archbishop along with a very plump envelope.  "Option A-- I offer professional
help for those who can't help themselves and I make very generous donations to your
church and cause."  I say as I push the envelope closer to his reach.
     Before Arndt can even consider option A, I have option B at his throat.  The
archbishop swallows and it causes a trickle of blood to flow down the front of his
elegant robes.  "If you want some good advice from someone who could play god right
now with your life, choose option A and thank your new god you're alive."
     As I reenter the immaculate grand chamber, I have the overwhelming feeling of
faith, faith that the fear of god will make him choose correctly.

                                     -Pat Sajak-

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 351): IMA SLAYER of YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 705): A DOG'S LIFE of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 704): TWO BUCK CHUCK of NO-HALF STEPPING (?, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 689): ROMO of SERPENTS HOLD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 692): WHAT? Of TRIBE (Howlin' Wolf, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 688): BLOODFEUD MAN of MASTERS OF SIN (Sin, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 685): BETTEY DECKER of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 686): PROFESSOR PUTT of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 650): PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM of ADVENTURE TIME 2 (Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 647): STRAY CAT of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
                                                          (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 299): ZOUM LA BOUSE of BLOOD AND GUTS! (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 532): OHMYGOD of WRATHMEN (Kharadmon, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 253): B'ZIADUL of WRATHMEN XIV (Kharadmon, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 590): HANGMAN of FACES OF DEATH (Blackhart, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 351): YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 705): COLORIFIC (Purple People Eater, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 704): THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 689): MIDDLE WAY 15 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 692): TRIBE (Howlin' Wolf, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 688): SAY MY NAME (Howlin' Wolf, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 686): WRATHMEN (Kharadmon, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 650): RANDOM (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 647): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 638): BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 299): WAH CHING (Pec Killer, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 532): WRATHMEN (Kharadmon, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 253): WRATHMEN XIV (Kharadmon, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 590): SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 705): A DOG'S LIFE of BULLDOGS (Kennelworth, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 703): FAITH of ZOMBIE SQUAD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 638): LONG BIGGAR of BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Jorja, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Five Major Titles?  Who would ever have thought it when I was a gangly child?
They said I was too tall to excel at either golf or duelmastering.  They did.  But it
all shows what a lot of work and practice, drinking lots of water, (only) and a lot
of luck will do for one.
     I want to dedicate this column to the boss, Lenpro, who got me here.  So here
are some probably unknown facts about "the boss":

Has two grandchildren, Max and Clara
Plays golf 3 or 4 days a week
Is retired
Loves yellow as his favorite color
Was born an Indiana Hoosier
Was captain of his high school football team
Can play piano, accordion, and saxophone adequately
Enjoys the 4 G';s - golf, gardening, grandkids, and gaming
Has a wife (Sharon) and two cats (Beatrice and Irvin)
Has been an RSI customer for 25+ years
Once, for several years, ran 40+ active arenas.
Is educated (BSIE, MBA)
Favorite old movies - anything with The Durango Kid
Has two married daughters - Jodi and Lily
Has lived in IN, NC, WI, KS, MO, MA, SC
Spent a lot of business time in China and Mexico
Is getting quite old
     There you have it.  Will I be back to reveal more of life's mysteries?  Can I
sink another 20-footer to retain the title?  Will I finally graduate?  Stay tuned....
          Professor Putt, DMV

                                      SPY REPORT

     I was going on vacation, see?  Surf, sun...  But what do those bums say?  "Hit 
the road, Debby Tonte.  IAYE needs a spyreport."  Oh, well.  Too bad, WRATHMEN, but 
ALL JACKED UP was just too good to be stopped.  Like, KAIJHEK must be pretty gutsy!  
He Bloodfeuded the Duelmaster from LENPROS.  Does this guy have a death wish or what! 
And I was just getting used to the ex-Duelmaster's habit of...(!)  Oh well, welcome 
KAIJHEK.  Aren't WRATHMEN proud.  (Oh, my.) I hear the top team insists all their 
warriors get nine hours sleep.  They want photogenic fighters for PR photos.   
     AAARRGH!!!  I HATE SPYREPORTING!!!  Sorry.  I just had to say it.  The warriors 
of PACE'S WILD must be getting lonely.  They were the most avoided team.  Do you guys 
know something that I don't?  I don't know what LENPROS' been doing.  They certainly 
haven't been accepting many fights from PACE'S WILD, that's fer sher.  Like, is 
HONEYBOY popular, or what?  He was challenged the most in all of IAYE!  He's got a 
4-2-0, is that good?  People were asking me did ARCHBISHOP ARNDT REALLY challenge 
SPECKLE?  (all right, maybe they didn't, but it sounded good!) It wasn't a 
spectacular fight, or anything, but SPECKLE wants me to write about it since she was 
subdued by ARCHBISHOP ARNDT.  Satisfied?   
     Challenges, revenges, Bloodfeuds.  All IAYE ever talks about is fighting!  Me, 
I'm more laid back.  What a bummer!  HOUN' DAWG got wasted by LUMBER JAK!  But with a 
3-7-0, I guess RED DOG GANG aren't too bummed.  KAIJHEK bloodfeuded (is that a word?) 
PROFESSOR PUTT for revenge over some guy's bad fortune.  Was it really worth it?  
What if they had a fight and nobody showed up?  I'd be out of a job, that's what!!!   
     I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid.  Who would've guessed I'd be 
a famous Spyreporter?  I know how much you like reading this stuff, but I really 
should stop.  Its been really albendranius!  Later, guys-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KAIJHEK 3813                 16  12  0   114       WRATHMEN (59)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ARCHBISHOP ARNDT 4872        18  16  2   106       LENPROS (145)
 MAJOR MILLER 4962            12   2  0   103       LENPROS (145)
 BLIND LEMON 4946             16   9  0   101       DELTA BLUES (374)
 HONORABLE HAFALE 4878        14   7  0    98       LENPROS (145)
 PROFESSOR PUTT 4909          15   4  2    96       LENPROS (145)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CHEVY PACE 4936              12   8  2    85       PACE'S WILD (321)
 SPECKLE 4939                 17  11  0    81       RED DOG GANG (356)
 SENATOR SMITH 4900           24   8  0    80       LENPROS (145)
 LEADBELLY 4405               19  16  0    73       DELTA BLUES (374)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KAELYN 4160                  11   6  0    66       WRATHMEN (59)
-PACEMASK 4951                 8   6  1    61       PACE'S WILD (321)
 PANAMA JACK 5014              4   3  1    61       ALL JACKED UP (463)
-KEIRA 5002                    7   3  1    59       WRATHMEN (59)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PACESON VORHEES 4891         13  12  3    55       PACE'S WILD (321)
-TOOTH PACE 4890              12  14  2    52       PACE'S WILD (321)
 BO CARTER 4956               11  12  1    46       DELTA BLUES (374)
 GENTLEMAN JACK 5011           4   5  2    46       ALL JACKED UP (463)
 JACK LEG 14 5032              2   0  1    37       ALL JACKED UP (463)
 LUMBER JAK 5028               3   0  1    35       ALL JACKED UP (463)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NEOR FEY 5019                 4   2  1    33       WRATHMEN (59)
 JACK TRIPER 5030              3   0  1    33       ALL JACKED UP (463)
 HONEYBOY 4974                 4   2  0    32       DELTA BLUES (374)
-JOHN WAYNE PACEY 4988         4   2  0    28       PACE'S WILD (321)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WOOFLE 5036                   1   0  0    20       RED DOG GANG (356)
 HIGH POINTS 4958              3   4  0    15       HER BEST ASSETS (461)
 JR. KIMBROUGH 5010            2   1  0    12       DELTA BLUES (374)
 RED ROVER 5018                2   4  0    10       RED DOG GANG (356)
 OLD BROWN 5031                1   2  0     6       RED DOG GANG (356)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
JACK TRIPPER 5003       4  4 1 ALL JACKED UP 463    PACEMASK 4951         684   
WIGGLY WALK 5035        0  1 0 HER BEST ASSETS 461  SPYMASTER             687  NONE
HOUN' DAWG 5009         3  7 0 RED DOG GANG 356     LUMBER JAK 5028       687   
MIDNIGHT BARKER 4953    7 15 1 RED DOG GANG 356     KEIRA 5002            685   
OLD BLUE 5020           1  2 0 RED DOG GANG 356     NEOR FEY 5019         684   
LALA 3788              16 13 0 WRATHMEN 59          PROFESSOR PUTT 4909   683  JUST REVENGED
NODOHGO 5021            2  2 0 WRATHMEN 59          JACK TRIPER 5030      687   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Look at those All jacked Ups going wild again!  57 points!  No wonder we avoid so
much.  Kudos to The Jacks. -- Lenpro

Pat Sajak -- Nerd?  "... that big of a nerd ..."?  Yep, that fits.  (wink) -- Lenpro

Kaijhek -- I am sorry about your growing dislike for politicians.  Perhaps you should
spend some time working in my campaign; you may change your mind.  The pay is mighty
low, but the perks are, well, let's just say plentiful.  As to your bribery
concerning my wife?  Well, Mrs. Smith is a young trophy wife herself, and she enjoys
the company of young women too, if you get my meaning.  And as to my escapade with
that young intern, there was nothing wrong with it as she is my niece.  (smirk) --
Senator Smith

Disgusting!  How did he get recruited to my honorable Lenpro team?  For goodness
sakes alive! -- Lenpro (quite puzzled)

Pat Sajak -- You have some very witty warriors there.  I envy you. -- Lenpro (quite

Kaijhek -- While I dislike the fact that you beat me, I acknowledge your better
skill.  I also appreciate that you broadcasted the lifestyle skullduggery of Senator
Smith.  Our politicians simply must hold up to higher standards.  I would like to get
my hands on him to try to "save" him. -- Archbishop Arndt

Speckle -- That was unwarranted.  You are nothing but a lowly dog! -- Senator Smith

Leadbelly -- All my practice and the work in the weight room paid off.  I was
downright lucky, too. -- Major Miller

Bo Carter -- Well, I have to say I am glad I defeated you.  Are you related to Jimmy
Carter?  The boss's aging mother's favorite photo hanging on her nursing home wall is
the one with her and Jimmy Carter at The White House.  Go figure. -- Honorable Hafale
(not of the same political party as Jimmy and the boss's Mom)

Blind Lemon -- It was a worthy match.  I was lucky to sink the winning putt. --
Professor Putt

Health.  Humility.  Honor.  Iaye forever. -- Lenpro

Jorja -- I think that if you could play by the same set of rules as we all do here in
Iaye, it would make things more interesting and fun for us all.  I would be willing
to petition the rsi staff into letting you play as we do if no one else objects. --
Pat Sajak

US?? -- Pat Sajak

All -- It seems that my establishment has angered the sensitive views of some.
Please, I ask that you drink and play responsibly.  And also know, that if you find
yourself forming a problem, I have a professional staff that holds classes and 12
step addiction treatment programs.  I have your best interests in mind always and am
here to offer any help and support that i can. Sincerely yours, -- Pat Sajak

Archbishop Arndt -- Thank you, your Grace, for allowing me the opportunity to attempt
a bloodfeud. -- Kaighek

Panama Jack -- Surf's up, dude!  Grab your board and we'll go hit some waves. --

Houn' Dawg -- Maybe you would catch that rabbit if you would stop crying all the
time. -- Neor Fey

Lumber Jak -- Congrats on the train!  Although it makes me shudder to think I might
have to face you again. -- Nodohgo

Lenpro -- After mailing in strategies last turn, it occurred to me that I was missing
something.  There was no way you would've been able to avoid two BFs in a row.  So I
consulted the Red Book (once I was able to locate it, no small task, I assure you!)
Sure enough, there it was in black and white:  "Only those in the Challenger
Champions can bloodfeud the Duelmaster."  Ah well.  Still would've liked to have seen
how my young ripper would have done. -- Kharadmon

Aeryn -- Don't worry about the bloodfeud.  That'll happen when the cows come home,
and we don't HAVE any cows.  Or a home for 'em to go to, the mangers all have dogs
sleeping in them. -- Jorja

Senator Smith -- I have my orders!  No politicians or other soliciters on OUR porch.
-- Speckle

Neor Fey -- Drat.  Only to be expected of a Cat, though. -- Houn' Dawg

Jr. Kimbrough -- Are we DONE yet? -- Red Rover

Silly Volunteer.  He has suspicious eyes, shifting all around like that.  I didn't
like him. -- Old Brown

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

WIGGLY WALK was dealt death by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
KAIJHEK bested PROFESSOR PUTT in a exciting 1 minute Bloodfeud Title duel.
ARCHBISHOP ARNDT handily defeated SPECKLE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
GENTLEMAN JACK was bested by KAELYN in a 2 minute Challenge contest.
HIGH POINTS was defeated by HONEYBOY in a exciting 2 minute Challenge fight.
MAJOR MILLER devastated VIRGINAL CONCUBINE in a 1 minute uneven brawl.
HONORABLE HAFALE overpowered LEADBELLY in a 1 minute bloody one-sided struggle.
SENATOR SMITH was viciously subdued by BLIND LEMON in a 2 minute expert's fight.
BO CARTER was vanquished by PANAMA JACK in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
NEOR FEY viciously subdued RED ROVER in a popular 2 minute gory duel.
LUMBER JAK executed HOUN' DAWG in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
JACK LEG 14 overpowered FRATSFAN NOBLE in a 1 minute one-sided match.
JR. KIMBROUGH outwaited OLD BROWN in a 8 minute amateur's conflict.
NODOHGO was murdered by JACK TRIPER in a 1 minute gory mismatched match.
WOOFLE handily defeated TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         PARRY-LUNGE        5 -   3 -  1      63  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   5         PARRY-RIPOSTE     11 -   7 -  0      61  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         SLASHING ATTACK   21 -  15 -  0      58  |
|AIMED BLOW                       4         BASHING ATTACK    15 -  12 -  2      56  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   3         AIMED BLOW        20 -  17 -  4      54  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         STRIKING ATTACK   31 -  27 -  4      53  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         TOTAL PARRY       10 -  11 -  0      48  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         LUNGING ATTACK    25 -  31 -  3      45  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         WALL OF STEEL      3 -   7 -  0      30  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 687 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  3         3  SLASHING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  1     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  2         3  STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  2     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  BASHING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         2 -  2     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  1         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   KAIJHEK 3813               16  12  0  114 WRATHMEN (59)
SLASHING ATTACK  ARCHBISHOP ARNDT 4872      18  16  2  106 LENPROS (145)
BASHING ATTACK   MAJOR MILLER 4962          12   2  0  103 LENPROS (145)
STRIKING ATTACK  HONORABLE HAFALE 4878      14   7  0   98 LENPROS (145)
TOTAL PARRY      SENATOR SMITH 4900         24   8  0   80 LENPROS (145)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    KAELYN 4160                11   6  0   66 WRATHMEN (59)
AIMED BLOW       JACK LEG 14 5032            2   0  1   37 ALL JACKED UP (463)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is SPECKLE 4939.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was BLIND LEMON 4946.  The ten other most popular fighters were HIGH POINTS 4958, 

The least popular fighter this week was JR. KIMBROUGH 5010.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were NODOHGO 5021, HOUN' DAWG 5009, BO CARTER 4956, LEADBELLY 4405, 
5011, and SPECKLE 4939.