Date   : 03/12/2005    Duedate: 04/08/2005


DM-31    TURN-250

This Weeks Top Honors


(31-4993) [19-11-0,117]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

OVERLORDS (509)                4-LETTER FRUIT BATS (487)
(31-4993) [19-11-0,117]        (31-4433) [3-1-0,28]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

DOOM HAMMER                    NABUCA
THE STORM REAVERS (408)        WHAMMO & THUDDA 4 U! (378)
(31-3566) [19-29-2,96]         (31-5369) [3-6-0,25]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. SAMURAI KIDS II (551)       64
2. NUMBERS GAME (403)          44      UNFIT TO BE ORCS (450)
3. DARQUE FORCES (422)         41      Unchartered Team
4. VENDETTA HAMMERZ (554)      28
5. VEGGIE PACK (369)           284-LETTER FRUIT BATS (487)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0 UNFIT TO BE ORCS (450)   163  79 15 67.4   1/ 1 THE STORMGUARDS (78)     11  4 1
 2/ 0*4-LETTER FRUIT BAT (487)  12   8  0 60.0   2/ 6 NUMBERS GAME (403)       11  4 1
 3/ 1 SOL INVICTUS (469)       111  86 13 56.3   3/ 2 OVERLORDS (509)          10  5 3
 4/ 5 NUMBERS GAME (403)       237 190 15 55.5   4/ 5 DARQUE FORCES (422)       9  6 0
 5/ 3 WHAMMO & THUDDA 4  (378) 304 245 12 55.4   5/ 8 WHAMMO & THUDDA 4  (378)  7  6 0
 6/ 4 THE STORMGUARDS (78)     611 493 24 55.3   6/12 THE CANUCKS (58)          7  8 1
 7/ 2 WHY DID I DO IT (540)     40  34  5 54.1   7/ 3 STORMWATCH (440)          7  8 0
 8- 6 BUSHMASTERS (164)        169 145  9 53.8   8/ 7 LORDS OF VALHALLA (508)   7  8 0
 9/ 8 DARQUE FORCES (422)      155 138  9 52.9   9/14 THE STORM REAVERS (408)   6  4 1
10/ 7 LORDS OF VALHALLA (508)  185 165 12 52.9  10/ 4 SOL INVICTUS (469)        6  8 0
11/ 9 MILITARY MAYHEM (89)     231 217 17 51.6  11/10 AVENGERS (146)            6  9 1
12/10 SAMURAI KIDS II (551)    100  97  9 50.8  12/16 SAMURAI KIDS II (551)     5  4 0
13/11 OVERLORDS (509)          360 361 22 49.9  13/17*VEGGIE PACK (369)         5  5 1
14/13 THE STORMBRINGERS (359)  332 333 27 49.9  14/15*VENDETTA HAMMERZ (554)    5  7 0
15/ 0 ASSASSIN NATION (515)    358 365 51 49.5  15/11 WHY DID I DO IT (540)     5  9 0
16/14 STORMWATCH (440)         167 182 10 47.9  16/ 9 THE STORMBRINGERS (359)   5 10 1
17/15 AVENGERS (146)           125 140 13 47.2  17-13 THE NIGHTHAWKS (43)       4  6 0
18/16*VENDETTA HAMMERZ (554)    10  12  1 45.5  18/23*VINCERE AUT MORI (564)    3  7 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/17 THE CANUCKS (58)         250 307 23 44.9  19/ 0*4-LETTER FRUIT BAT (487)  2  0 0
20-18 THE NIGHTHAWKS (43)      272 352 34 43.6  20/20 MILITARY MAYHEM (89)      2  2 1
21/19 THE STORM REAVERS (408)  101 142 13 41.6  21/ 0 UNFIT TO BE ORCS (450)    2  3 1
22-20 BRIGANDS (352)            19  30  0 38.8  22/ 0 ASSASSIN NATION (515)     2  3 0
23/21 MIDDLE WAY 7 (536)        60 108  2 35.7  23/24 MIDDLE WAY 7 (536)        2  8 0
24/23*VINCERE AUT MORI (564)     3   7  0 30.0  24-22 BRIGANDS (352)            1  0 0
25/12*2001 (465)                 1   3  0 25.0  25-19 BUSHMASTERS (164)         1  0 0
26/24*VEGGIE PACK (369)          6  19  1 24.0  26/18*2001 (465)                1  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

            (turns 175-200)

     Greetings Chimlevtal.  Once again The Council of Lords presents Chimlevtal 
History Facts.  The Duelmasters of glorious Chimlevtal from turn #175 (6/12/99) to 
turn #200 (5/12/01) were:

175: Ohm's Lawyer of Orcs Hate Physics  12-2-1   ST
176: Prince of Ar of The Stormbringers  13-6-1   PS
177: Vampire of Dark Heart, Inc.        10-13-2  LU
178: Kerb Crawler of Urban Guerilla     11-6     BA
179: Vampire of Dark Heart, Inc.        11-13-2  LU
180. Absolute Zero of Orcs Hate Physics 14-4     LU
181. The Sentinel of The Stormguards    16-12    TP
182. Numero Uno of Numbers Game         17-13-1  SL
183. Numero Uno of Numbers Game         18-13-1  SL
184. Kerb Crawler of Urban Guerilla     14-9     BA
185. Hephaistos of The Stormbringers    14-7     TP
186. Al Koholic of Nomenclature         13-5     TP
187. Al Koholic of Nomenclature         14-5     TP
188. SRA Metal of Urban Guerilla        20-8     PS
189. William Wallace of The Stormbringers 17-11  PL
190. Ciaran Ap Gruffydd of The Stormguards 14-6  TP
191. Ben Woddle of Feed Us Blood        15-7     WOS
192. Ben Woddle of Feed Us Blood        15-8     WOS
193. Ben Woddle of Feed Us Blood        16-8     WOS
194. Babbs Bunny of Loony Toons         23-13    TP 
195. 2X4 of Numbers Game                16-10-1  PR
196. Ebenezer Grymt of Feed Us Blood    13-6-1   BA
197. 2X4 of Numbers Game                17-10-2  PR
198. Ace O'Spades of Urban Guerilla     21-13    LU
199. Googam of Whammo & Thudda 4U!      16-5-1   PS
200. Googam of Whammo & Thudda 4U!      17-5-1   PS

Happy 250th cycle, Chimlevtal! -- Master Janos, Bard/Historian--The COL

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     Greetings Chimlevtal.  The Council of Lords presents Chimlevtal History Facts: 
Listed are the first 20 teams to amass 100 victories in Chimlevtal and the turn they 
did it.

1.  Walt's Kids              #28
2.  Bene Gesserit            #39
3.  Rat Pak                  #46
4.  The Canucks              #51
5.  The Stormguards          #58
6.  The Devastators          #67
7.  The 422 Crew             #70
8.  South of Heaven          #92
9.  Bushmasters              #98
10. Team Supreme!!!          #100
11. True Brits               #101
12. Loony Toons              #108
13. The Nighthawks           #108
14. Dagarath Guards          #109
15. Avengers                 #110
16. Black Company            #112
17. Energeia                 #118*
18. Mongol Horde             #136
19. The Spice Pack           #139
20. Black Plague             #149

*Energeia transferred from Krill on turn #76 and got their 100th victory in 
Chimlevtal on turn #118.
--The mighty Stormbringers earned their 100th victory on turn #150.

--Master Janos  Bard/Historian  COL

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                                 ON COUNCIL BUSINESS
                                      (PART 7)

     Darzon the Pirate stood on the quarterdeck of the SS GOLDEN AXE.  He was pleased 
to see the activity all about his ship.  Stores and provisions were being loaded, 
repairs and maintenance being conducted and he had managed to recruit two new crew 
members who would fit in well with his elite crew of raiders.
     The weather-beaten Captain reflected on what had transpired the past two days 
since GOLDEN AXE arrived in Chimlevtal.  The Icelord and High Lord Bosk had met them 
upon arrival.  Bosk had volunteered to show him the town and that he did.  After 
swilling many tankards of ale, they had hooked up with The Icelord and continued late 
in the night: they discussed the political situation in Chimlevtal, swilled more ale, 
chased a few wenches, beat up a few bravos who mouthed off to them and swilled some 
more ale.  Darzon rubbed his temples, that Bosk could swill!  He was pleased his crew 
had not burned down a single establishment.  It was a good evening, aye.
     Darzon had been in many cities and realms.  A Polarian who had befriended The 
Icelord and Bosk long ago, he had operated out of the Pirate Islands for years.  He 
had supported a losing faction in a power struggle on those islands and found it 
prudent to take a leave of absence.  The Icelord had contacted him and told him of 
the power vacuum in the Storm Sea on this planet, Ghea, after Inzolas and his fleet 
was smashed several years back.  Two years ago, Darzon and his crew took The Icelord 
up on his offer to teleport them here and set up shop.  They had spent time raiding 
off Serevada and Ferencia.  They knew the Storm Sea well.  It was now time to see 
glorious Chimlevtal.  Darzon had plans indeed.
     The sea-rogue barked a few orders and then packed and lit his long stemmed pipe.  
After a few puffs his thoughts focused on the cold and damp weather and the rumors of 
monsters creeping about Chimlevtal.  The town was abuzz about something that was 
killing people in a most ghoulish way.  He had doubled the watch on GOLDEN AXE and 
his crew had been ordered to travel in groups of at least three.
     He was puzzled though, on why The Icelord or Bosk had not contacted him 
yesterday or yet this day.  Maybe they were still sleeping off their hangovers, he 
mused.  But no, Bosk could drink two kegs and fight an ancient Green Dragon the next 
dawn.  It was odd he had not heard from his friends.  He would go to the fortified 
guildhouse of The Stormguards later this afternoon.
     Just then he saw two warriors approach the ship.  One had great girth and a 
greater limp.  He was Lord Protector Hephaistos of The Stormbringers.  The other was 
the Knight Hospitaller, Lord Protector D'Aubusson of The Stormguards. They wore grim 
     "Request permission to come aboard," rumbled Hephaistos.
     "Come aboard," responded Darzon in his gravely bass.  "What word ye carry?"
     "I carry word about The Icelord and High Lord Bosk," replied Hephaistos.  "And 
it's something you need to know."

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                                 ON COUNCIL BUSINESS
                                      (PART 8)

     A foul smell emanated from the cave's entrance.  Raoul the Rude muttered another 
Efreeti curse and then eyed the half dozen gargoyles who were gathering on a cliff 
about two hundred yards away.  Perhaps they wished to avenge their two comrades he 
had slain.  He held his magical flame-blade sword in his right hand and advanced with 
ease into the cave.  He was here on Council business and would see it done.
     The towering mercenary swept his flaming sword before him.  It chased away the 
darkness and several huge spiders.  He brazenly entered the lair of the Witch of the 
Gargoyle Islands.  The flames hungrily consumed a large spider web which elicited an 
arachnid hiss from the shadows.  He chuckled.  His Grandfather, having been an 
Efreet, had gifted him with many innate abilities.  Infrared vision had been one 
which, along with his sword, made him see all in the cave.  Above him, many gargoyles 
lined a rock shelf, using their abilities to blend with stone.  Raoul saw them and 
noted their positions as he advanced.
     It didn't take him long to find the legendary crone.  The wheezend and emaciated 
hag looked to be long past 100 years old.  Her filthy and tattered shawl barely 
covered her skeletal body.  Her thin, dirty gray hair clung to her skull, slightly 
covering a hideous face that included a crooked nose with a huge wart on the end and 
a mouth with a few broken and rotted teeth.  She had one eye that was milk white but 
the other blazed a malevolent red, making Raoul understand he dealt with a dangerous 
and intelligent being.  She had a wand in her left hand and with the right stirred a 
bubbling cauldron that gave off a foul stench.
     "I am..." started Raoul but he was cut off with a great cackle.  The Witch left 
the spoon in the pot and waved a bony hand at him.  "I know who you are," she 
announced in a shrieking, crackling voice.
     "Then you know WHY I am here," replied Raoul, lowering his sword but not 
extinguishing its flame.
     "Of course, dearie," replied the hag.  "You are here on Wizard's business."
     "I am here on Council business," grated Raoul.  "I understand you have two very 
valuable items.  I have two very valuable items.  I desire a trade."
     "A trade?!" shrieked the Sea Witch with glee.  "I love a good trade!"  Her red 
eye flared with excitment.
     "So I've heard," commented the Master Swordsman.  "You have a Gem of Seeing and 
a Stone of Truth Telling, correct?"
     "And if I do?" hissed the Witch.  Her left hand, holding her wand, twitched 
     "I would be willing to trade you 10 Red Dragon scales AND a Potion of 
Longevity," offered Raoul the Rude.
     "DONE!!" shrieked the crone with glee.  "DONE!!"

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                                The Matter of a Name
                         [as retold by Hammer the WordSmith]

     Few gladiators ever became fully accustomed to the sudden appearances in their 
midst of Hammer arriving by means of one of his Elven Orbs of Transport.
     Whether a stable house atmosphere was tranquil or rife with conflicting 
personalities, the sudden flash of purple or blue or red [or whatever color 
combination] as the Time/Space Continuum was disturbed by the sudden arrival or 
departure of Hammer was still an unnerving experience at best for most of the members 
of the vast number of Hammerz stables scattered throughout Alastari.
     It was even rumored that such disturbances were blamed to be the contributing 
factor as to why so many Hammerz stables had so suddenly and mysteriously gone 
inactive over the years.
     Hammer would usually announce that it was due to some sort of budget cutback, 
yet time and time again in the wake of such announcements the Hammer coffers would 
once again be flowing with finances to fund still more Hammer managed stables and 
experimental tourney warriors.
     The five dwarfs who were assembled together in the VENDETTA HAMMERZ guild house 
PAIN HAMMER] were well aware that Hammer had begun deactivating stables once again.
     It was also a sure bet that since Hammer had resigned from the Vendetta Cartel 
membership that the assembled dwarfs  would soon be inactive as well; after all, 
Chimlevtal was the Home Arena of the Vendetta Cartel and their God Father Master 
Darque, so it only stood to reason that Hammer would disappear from DM 31 altogether 
and leave the conflict between the allies of Master Darque and the Council of Let Us 
Lord It Over Others By Challenging, Bullying and Beating Our Chests in the Team 
Spotlights and Personal Ads.
     However, it was in the mind of Hammer to formulate yet another plan of action to 
amuse himself and the Citizens of Chimlevtal.
     So it was that when the aforementioned sudden burst of green and purplish orange 
disrupted energy forces once again burst asunder the Space/Time Continuum as Hammer 
arrived in the midst of his understandably startled collection of dwarfs in the 
VENDETTA HAMMERZ guild house; those self same dwarfs grabbed for their nearest 
weapons, while shouting unutterable Dwarven War Oaths as they prepared themselves for 
battle against an unexpected assault.
     Hammer was pleased by their response to his sudden and unexpected appearance in 
the midst of their guild house.
     "I see my instincts were well founded by contacting the Gladiatorial Commission 
to keep this stable active in Chimlevtal," the veteran manager announced to his 
startled stable.
     The puzzled expression on their faces made Hammer break out in a fit of 
uncontrollably joyous laughter.
     It was as though Hammer could read their thoughts.
     "Yes, it is true," the veteran manager replied with a grim smile and equally 
determined look in his eyes. "You have a purpose and a plan to fulfill here in 
     Hammer paused thoughtfully as his gaze focused upon the newest member of the DM 
31 stable who had been named in humorous honor of one of the new alliance mates of 
the rebel alliance that had welcomed both Hammer and Tripwire (Bringer of Pain) into 
their membership.
     Graduating BRING PAIN HAMMER would be a heralded accomplishment to be 
acknowledged by both friend and foe alike throughout Chimlevtal.
     Such an accomplishment was as yet unfulfilled by certain veteran managers in DM 
31; who would literally drool at the thought of such an accomplishment being attained 
by one of their own warriors, but as yet failing to have done so.
     Hammer smiled yet again as he turned his attention to his own stable, 
withdrawing a parchment from the folds of his Elven War Cloak, then handing it to the 
nearest warrior to share with his gladiatorial comrades.
     "Courtesy of the Name Change O Rama this month," stated Hammer as his stable of 
dwarfs studied the official notice from the Gladiatorial Commission.
     The Hammer gladiators raised their weapons in enthusiastic approval of the name 
change which stated that the DM 31 stable would no longer be known as VENDETTA 
HAMMERZ as requested by Hammer because of his resignation from the Vendetta Cartel.
     Furthermore, as a result of Hammer being welcomed into the rebel alliance led by 
Talon Dark Hart, known especially in Jhans as the kLk alliance, the assembled dwarfs 
would now be fighting under a new banner approved by the Gladiatorial Commission:
                                         AH NOW KLK HAMMERZ
"May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"
kLk WordSmith and WeaponSmith
Minister of War
Illuminati Idealist

         + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ A Tale of Two Cities #2 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     The Icelord turned in a complete circle.  There was no sign of Bosk, no sign of 
the monster.  Just a faint magical trace that was already fading.  He glanced over 
his shoulder at his warrior, Tempus.  "Go back to the guildhouse.  Send out 
messengers to everyone you feel we can trust, telling them what happened and that we 
are cancelling all other activities until Bosk is found."  Turning to the Prince of 
Ar, he added, "Go to Lord Kinnishan's citadel and tell them that we will not be 
keeping our appointment."
     The gladiator hesitated.  "Should you--?"
     "Bosk is my first priority.  Lord Kinnishan will understand."  Unspoken was the 
qualifier that if Kinnishan didn't understand, too bad.
     The Prince of Ar nodded.  He had expected that answer.  He agreed with it.  But 
sometimes the rulers of city-states expected to come first.  He could understand 
that, too.  "But don't you want one of us to stay with you?"
     The Icelord raised an eyebrow.  "I can take care of myself."
     Ar shifted uncomfortably but stuck to his point.  "So could High Lord Bosk."
     "True."  The tall magician nodded.  "Competence does not guarantee safety.  
Neither do numbers.  Bosk was not alone when he was taken."
     When the two gladiators were gone, The Icelord moved to the exact spot from 
which his friend had been taken.  To someone of his magical training and ability, 
both Bosk and the creature that had carried him off left an energy signature visible 
to the inner eye.  Bosk was represented by a path of gold that came up the street to 
this spot and then stopped.  The monster was a cloud of murky purplish brown.  At 
first glance, it appeared to have come from nowhere, simply appeared on the spot, but 
a closer study of the magical currents proved this to be wrong.  Not far wrong, 
perhaps, but still....  He followed the track twenty feet to a stone wall in an 
alley.  A quick investigation showed that the monster had not come from above, below, 
or to either side.  Either it had come through the wall, or the portal had been on 
the surface of the wall.  Logic said the second possibility was the more likely one.  
He examined the wall closely, with eyes, fingertips, and his magical awareness.
     Information flooded in.  Limestone.  Very old in this location, the wall must 
have been built... two hundred and fifty years ago, more or less.  Marine limestone, 
the wall was insisting on that as part of its identity.  An odd thing to be 
important, but he could sense that it was.  Why?  He bridled his concern for Bosk and 
leaned closer.  Tiny fossil bones, the sponginess of coral, whorled shells.  His hand 
sliding across the worn surface stopped.  Had it not been impossible, he would have 
called this shadow in the stone the fossil of some tiny squid or octopus.  He would 
definitely call it Evil.  Cold radiated from it.
     "You have found the key to the door, then."
     The Icelord whirled.  Shau'nin Snowbeard, Kinnishan's advisor, stood about six 
feet behind him.  The Adantri scholar stood quietly, hands at his sides, and made no 
threatening moves, but that didn't mean the old man wasn't dangerous.  That he could 
have come so close unnoticed was ominous.  What if it had been someone hostile?
     As though in answer to his thought, Shau'nin said, "Had I been an unknown, you 
would have noticed me as soon as I entered this alley."
     The Icelord considered that and nodded.  It was true.  He realized now that he 
had noticed and identified the advisor at a level below conscious thought.  "You had 
my message, then."
     "About the High Lord Bosk's disappearance?  Yes.  Lord Kinnishan and I knew that 
you would make discovering your friend's whereabouts your first priority.  Your 
loyalty is one of your most admirable qualities.  However, the matter Lord Kinnishan 
wishes to discuss with you has a bearing on your friend's disappearance."
     "The monsters and the murders?"
     "The monsters, certainly.  The murders are a symptom of the presence of the 
monsters, not a matter that stands alone.  But it is a matter better discussed 
indoors, where the fog does not hide curious ears."
     "The gate through which Bosk was taken was here, and it will be easiest to 
follow from here."
     "You can return to this place, can you not?"  Shau'nin glanced around.  "Ranga's 
Alley.  It is not the first time a gate has been opened here, nor the last, most 
likely.  We tried walling off once, but somebody tore down the wall."  He shrugged.  
"If the danger is not immediate, people ignore it.  It can be very frustrating."
     "It's a known gate location?  Why did I not know this?"
     "Because, until now, it has not mattered to you," Shau'nin suggested.  Now he 
stepped closer and indicated the mark on the wall, the shadow of some tentacled 
thing, so small that a man could cover it with his hand.  "That is always the sign of 
a certain type of gate, when it appears.  Other gates can exist without it, of 
course, but that....  My studies have given me a certain amount of knowledge which I 
believe is relevant, and which I would be glad to share with you.  But not HERE, 
where anyone or any... thing may come upon us."
     The Icelord could tell when a man would not be pushed further, and he saw that 
limit now in the old Adantri.  And if Shau'nin had information that would help....  
Shau'nin Snowbeard had never lied to him before.  "Very well.  Let us go to the 
citadel, then, and discuss this.  Quickly and briefly."


     Bosk was conscious of a whirling darkness and a sensation of falling, as though 
he was being sucked down a giant whirlpool at midnight.  It was unpleasant.  Also 
unpleasant was the talon that was clamped on his shoulder; the claws did not pierce 
his excellent mail, but he suspected that his shoulder had been dislocated.  
Certainly it was wrenched and bruised, and the longer they whirled about, with the 
swirling darkness tugging at him against the creature's grip, the worse it would be.  
And he was going to need the full use of his limbs when he was released, because he 
intended to carve this detestable monster into very small pieces, and then grind the 
pieces under his heel.
     The sensation of falling ended with a smashing impact on something hard, 
followed by the crushing weight of something landing on top of him.
     A voice barked orders.  The language was unknown to him, at first, but as he 
listened it seemed to come into focus.
     A gravelly voice said, "By Korbeg, magician, you have played me false!  You 
promised me a great warrior, and then bring me THIS?"  There was the sound of a blow.
     Whatever was lying on top of Bosk stirred, and he realized that it was the 
monster who had brought him here.  The stench was unmistakable, and so were the 
claws.  It made a sound like an angry cat.
     A whispering voice said, "It is a great warrior, sire!  He slew three other 
demons before this one was able to bear him off."
     "Impossible!  He's... his hair is yellow and..." a powerful sniff, "and he has 
bathed within the week and used some disgusting unguent that smells like herbs!  No 
TRUE gnomish warrior would ever--"
     Bosk leaped to his feet with a roar, aches forgotten.  His sword, which had been 
in his hand when he was snatched, was missing, but he would not need a sword to deal 
with this upstart!  The gravel voice belonged to a squaty person about four feet 
tall, swarthy, dark-haired, with a big nose and a beard like a rat's nest.  He was 
wearing a steel skullcap, and chainmail was visible between the beard and the arms 
crossed over the barrel of a chest.
     Beside him was a bundle of dark cloaks.  A bird's claw emerged from them and 
waved toward Bosk.  "You see?" the whisperer said.  "Unarmed, he is yet ready to leap 
upon you and give battle, mighty Gorsh!  Certainly the goblin mercenaries of Nelkarth 
will be unable to stand against your forces when this champion leads them."
     "No self-respecting gnome would follow something with YELLOW hair," Gorsh said.  
"It's... it's practically ELVISH!"

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                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 510): CAT TASTROPHIE of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 510): PLATO of DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 504): CITATION of TRIPLE CROWN (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 506): FELIX of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 505): PIP THE TROLL of HEROESANDFOUNDONES (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 503): SIT of VALHALLA (Odin, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 251): LAVA RUNNER of PRIMAL FURY (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 495): ENOSHIMA of BLACK SAMURAI (Doc Miracle, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 249): KIRKEN TUORNIN of THE NIGHTHAWKS (Firehawk, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 492): SAVORY of SARATOGA GLORY (The Trainer, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 490): NIMBLE NEUTER of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 483): HUCKLE CAT of BUSY, BUSYTOWN (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 446): ELLEN SUE GOTLANDER of GIRLS X3 (Non, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 226): STORM SERPENT of SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 221): RAINBOW of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 208): YAIWE of DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 371): MECHANISM of TOOLS OF TORMENT (Mad Max, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 350): COOL CAT of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 156): YANKEE DOODLE of WORLDWIDE GORE (Crip, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 396): PARANOIA of DSM4 from ZUKAL (The Sandman, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 510): BLUE MOON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 510): BLOODSUCKERS (Way Cool, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 504): STARBASE 5 (Zeus, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 506): GOLDEN GLADIATORS (Midas, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 505): HEROESANDFOUNDONES (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 503): THE MAGNIFICENT MAGS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 251): NORTHERN BADLANDS (Maximillian, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 495): EQUESTORS (Spartacus, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 249): THE STORMGUARDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 492): SARATOGA GLORY (The Trainer, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 490): THE SEWING CIRCLE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 483): CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 446): GIRLS X3 (Non, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 226): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 221): LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 208): SNOW CALL HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 371): ARNIE'S ARMY (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 350): FAVORITE GUYS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 156): DUDS (Amy A. Airhead, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 396): LEGION OF DUMB (Carnage, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 510): BADGER of HIGH JINKS (Jondeaux, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 505): PEACH NUTT of PUNNY AMINALS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 504): MCARTHUR of HEROESANDFOUNDONES (The Judge, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 250): ALARIC of THE WARLORDS II (Fizban, mgr.)
                          RAY D AYTOR of OTTO'S MECHANICS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 249): DROKK of WHAMMO & THUDDA 4 U! (Micky, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 445): DISMAY of HELL'S PAWNS (Harbinger, mgr.)
 DM  47 SCOMSS SWAMP (turn 221): RAINBOW of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
                                 DEEP FRIED LARD of MYSTIC ORC FEAST (Slugbait, mgr.)
                     (turn 220): COURAGE of LAND OF OZ (Oz the Successful, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 349): DRACO EL TANIN of BLADE AND BLOOD (Noachian, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Good day, in CHIMLEVTAL a quiet thief gets rich, but a quiet spymaster gets 
poor.  So bring me ale and harken to my tidbits of news.  Now keep the taverns open 
late tonight, for there are sorrows to drown for 2001, whose 0-2-0 this turn dropped 
them by 8 into 26th.  THE CANUCKS stable has parlayed this turn's 3-2-0 into a 6 
space move up the rankings.  This brings them up to 6th place.  Good work, guys!  The 
SOL INVICTUS guild has had a 3-1-0 turn and deserves to be watched in the future.  
You never know where this kind of thing can lead.  And let's see, PSYCH MAJOR fought 
BLOND MOMENT and gained 34 points and contributed to MILITARY MAYHEM's 1-2-1.  
WULFGAR has lost to DISOBEDIENCE, falling 9 points, while helping make STORMWATCH a 
1-4-0 turn.  Due to his absence and inability to defend the throne, KIRKEN TUORNIN 
has lost the title of Duelmaster.  We should ask REZOS THE THRACIAN about the thrill 
of victory, and what being the new Duelmaster does for a warrior, he's now the one to 
ask.  Tell me, is nothing sacred?  I have heard from unimpeachable sources that The 
Victory Tavern uses trolls in their stew.  Talk about gristle!   
     Oriental wise man once say, 'Hiding behind shields prevents proper sun tanning.' 
Inscrutable, but true.  THE STORMGUARDS has cause to stand tall, as they were 
CHIMLEVTAL's most avoided team.  A smart manager knows this is a team to beat.  And 
avoiding THE STORMGUARDS more than any other team we find VENDETTA HAMMERZ.  
CHIMLEVTAL, are we going to accept, or respect this sort of thing?  The most 
challenged warrior this turn was NUMBERS GAME's warrior TEN-TON TESSIE.  More 
fighters challenged her than challenged the Duelmaster!  DAMHAIN THE SATYR of 
OVERLORDS had better have a good reason for challenging down 8 points in a challenge 
which he won.  I thought DAMHAIN THE SATYR showed great skill and promise when he 
overcame WAS DRUNK.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     The Dark Arena is for those who cannot win, not who cannot lose with grace.  
Dignity in life or death is the warrior's creed.  Banners at half mast, warriors, WHY 
DID I DO IT has lost BLOND MOMENT, and you might say all of CHIMLEVTAL has felt the 
loss, except maybe MILITARY MAYHEM.  The Victory Tavern declares a free round for OIL 
CAN HARRY and all of THE CANUCKS, for having revenged AVENGERS' WHITE NOISE for 
killing one of their comrades.  Congratulations go out to VENDETTA HAMMERZ, with 
Kudos go out to QATAR CLUB HAMMER this turn, for revenging VENDETTA HAMMERZ's 
bloodfeud against THE STORMBRINGERS' warrior ULTHAR THUUNE.  Well done.  The Victory 
Tavern declares a free round for GREYSCALES and all of THE STORMBRINGERS, for having 
revenged THE CANUCKS' RENEGADE for killing one of their comrades.  A brave warrior 
does not carry a red shield, he has nothing to cover or hide when the fight is over.  
Consider well.   
     Thought for the day, a new sword shines bright, but the notched sword sings the 
sweetest.  Well, I'm burning daylight here in CHIMLEVTAL and I've a long road ahead 
of me.  Happy Trails.  Until you see my quill in CHIMLEVTAL again, farewell-- Alarond 
the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 REZOS THE THRACIAN 4993      19  11  0   117       OVERLORDS (509)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TRASHIUS 4980                21  11  0   114       WHAMMO & THUDDA 4 U! (378)
-PRIVATE ROOM 3620            17  11  0   114       MILITARY MAYHEM (89)
 OIL CAN HARRY 3814           15   9  0   113       THE CANUCKS (58)
-KIRKEN TUORNIN 4849          18  16  2   111       THE NIGHTHAWKS (43)
 PSYCH MAJOR 5018              9   5  2   109       MILITARY MAYHEM (89)
 TERRIBLE TWO 5195             9   2  0   109       NUMBERS GAME (403)
 MAGOG 5031                   16  10  2   104       DARQUE FORCES (422)
 COMMANDER SPUD 5149           8   4  1    98       MILITARY MAYHEM (89)
 ZARENDARGAR 4888             16  19  2    97       OVERLORDS (509)
 DOOM HAMMER 3566             19  29  2    96       THE STORM REAVERS (408)
 SPATHA 4996                  18  11  2    94       SOL INVICTUS (469)
 TORNADO 1439                 17  19  1    94       AVENGERS (146)
 HELM HAMMERHAND 5025         18  10  0    93       LORDS OF VALHALLA (508)
-EVANDIS ETHUM 2462           19  11  0    92       BUSHMASTERS (164)
 ABYSSINIAN 4918              19  15  0    92       THE STORMBRINGERS (359)
-SYWINELL 2832                15  12  0    91       BUSHMASTERS (164)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RAUNI 5035                   14   9  0    91       SOL INVICTUS (469)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NINJATO 5244                 15   8  2    88       SAMURAI KIDS II (551)
 WARGASM 1557                 16  15  1    87       AVENGERS (146)
 GREYSCALES 4917              18  16  0    82       THE STORMBRINGERS (359)
 FAOLAN AP GRYFFYDD 5152      15   5  1    82       THE STORMGUARDS (78)
 GENERAL PURPOSE 5124          6   5  1    81       MILITARY MAYHEM (89)
 BRILLIANT ORANGE 4961        11  10  1    78       UNFIT TO BE ORCS (450)
 KAMBARD MURH 5045            15  19  0    72       MIDDLE WAY 7 (536)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BARTOFELES 5173              10   8  1    66       THE STORMGUARDS (78)
 VENGEANCE 4369                9  11  2    66       THE STORM REAVERS (408)
-IVAK 2950                     7   7  0    66       BRIGANDS (352)
 AI 5347                       7   4  0    65       DARQUE FORCES (422)
 BIJIN 5238                   10   8  0    62       SAMURAI KIDS II (551)
 JARL FORKBEARD 5280          11   2  0    61       THE STORMGUARDS (78)
 IT FELT GOOD 5093            10   5  0    61       WHY DID I DO IT (540)
 MANI 5102                     9  13  2    61       SOL INVICTUS (469)
 MALICE 4986                  11  13  2    60       ASSASSIN NATION (515)
 ENDOR 5275                    9   4  0    60       DARQUE FORCES (422)
 DISOBEDIENCE 5209             5   3  1    57       ASSASSIN NATION (515)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WHITE NOISE 3048              6   3  2    56       AVENGERS (146)
 DAMHAIN THE SATYR 5197       11   5  0    55       OVERLORDS (509)
 LES NAYLE 5044               10  24  0    54       MIDDLE WAY 7 (536)
-CALLEIGHT 5128               11   9  0    53       THE NIGHTHAWKS (43)
 MENDAL OMSHIL 5043           11  18  0    51       MIDDLE WAY 7 (536)
 NORGEN PELH 5042             11  18  0    51       MIDDLE WAY 7 (536)
 LOVE POTION #9 5151           6  11  0    51       NUMBERS GAME (403)
 SALEM 5222                    8   6  0    50       DARQUE FORCES (422)
 SVEIN FORKBEARD 5187         10   7  2    49       LORDS OF VALHALLA (508)
 RAPTOR 4594                   8   9  0    40       THE CANUCKS (58)
-ANDERS DIEMED 5174            6  10  0    39       THE NIGHTHAWKS (43)
 HORAGALLES 5212               5   5  1    39       SOL INVICTUS (469)
-FALCATA 5405                  3   1  0    39       SOL INVICTUS (469)
 UYR DEMONSBANE 5349           6   5  1    37       THE STORMGUARDS (78)
 WULFGAR 5281                  7   6  0    36       STORMWATCH (440)
 WAS DRUNK 5094                8   7  0    35       WHY DID I DO IT (540)
 THRALL 5074                   6   5  0    35       THE STORM REAVERS (408)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VALKYRIE 5351                 6   5  0    33       LORDS OF VALHALLA (508)
 ULTHAR XANDO 5407             5   1  0    33       STORMWATCH (440)
 RENEGADE 5400                 3   2  1    33       THE CANUCKS (58)
 MERCURIAL MADMAN 5352         3   0  2    31       UNFIT TO BE ORCS (450)
-ARKON 2986                    4   3  0    29       BRIGANDS (352)
 JOHN 4433                     3   1  0    28       4-LETTER FRUIT BATS (487)
 BAMBOO 5235                   6   6  3    27       SAMURAI KIDS II (551)
 FRED 4434                     4   1  0    27       4-LETTER FRUIT BATS (487)
 SURTUR 5382                   3   5  0    27       STORMWATCH (440)
 ULTHAR JARVA 5417             3   1  0    26       OVERLORDS (509)
 HOT TEMPER HAMMER 5321        3   1  0    26       VENDETTA HAMMERZ (554)
 TICHONDRIOUS 5129             4   4  1    25       THE STORM REAVERS (408)
 NABUCA 5369                   3   6  0    25       WHAMMO & THUDDA 4 U! (378)
 QATAR CLUB HAMMER 5320        2   2  0    24       VENDETTA HAMMERZ (554)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GROM HELLSCREAM 5379          2   3  1    23       THE STORM REAVERS (408)
 DUST MITE 5390                3   0  0    22       UNFIT TO BE ORCS (450)
 SUM-R SQUASH 3148             2   3  0    22       VEGGIE PACK (369)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BUKE 5461                     1   1  0    22       SAMURAI KIDS II (551)
 PAPER CUT KING 5211           4   3  0    21       UNFIT TO BE ORCS (450)
 SHE MADE ME 5421              2   1  0    21       WHY DID I DO IT (540)
-WARDO BARD 5276               3   0  0    20       BUSHMASTERS (164)
 STEPHEN 5460                  2   0  0    20       THE STORMBRINGERS (359)
 DAVE BOWMAN 4190              1   1  0    20       2001 (465)
-GURAK 2947                    4   6  0    19       BRIGANDS (352)
 TEN-TON TESSIE 5455           2   0  0    19       NUMBERS GAME (403)
 BANSHEE 5462                  2   0  0    18       THE CANUCKS (58)
 KOLUM MAROD 5344              3   7  1    17       MIDDLE WAY 7 (536)
 ULTHAR ZAAR 5414              3   1  0    15       THE STORMGUARDS (78)
 100 GRAND 5454                2   0  0    15       NUMBERS GAME (403)
-SHOOK 3205                    2   0  0    15       BRIGANDS (352)
 HOSTILIUS 5446                1   1  0    14       VINCERE AUT MORI (564)
 ULTHAR THUUNE 5411            3   2  2    13       THE STORMBRINGERS (359)
 ULTHAR URUV 5409              3   2  2    13       OVERLORDS (509)
 TOMATO-PURE-A 5458            1   1  0    13       VEGGIE PACK (369)
-UNENDA 5278                   1   1  0    13       BUSHMASTERS (164)
-ERGG 5381                     3   3  0    12       THE NIGHTHAWKS (43)
-ANNE 4432                     2   2  0    12       4-LETTER FRUIT BATS (487)
-RICHARD 4435                  1   3  0    12       4-LETTER FRUIT BATS (487)
 EDOM 5465                     1   0  0    11       DARQUE FORCES (422)
 ART-O'-CHOKE 5459             1   1  0    11       VEGGIE PACK (369)
 LOWLY WORM 5383               1   7  0    10       AVENGERS (146)
 ICY GRACIE HAMMER 5440        2   1  0     9       VENDETTA HAMMERZ (554)
 11TH COMMANDMENT 5453         1   1  1     9       NUMBERS GAME (403)
 ULTHAR ES 5418                2   2  0     8       STORMWATCH (440)
 A-SPEAR-O-GUTS 3151           1   4  1     8       VEGGIE PACK (369)
 ICE SLAYER HAMMER 5322        1   4  1     8       VENDETTA HAMMERZ (554)
 PATRICIAS 5447                1   1  0     7       VINCERE AUT MORI (564)
 BLIND AMBITION 5376           1   1  0     7       ASSASSIN NATION (515)
-GRIM 3259                     1   3  0     6       BRIGANDS (352)
 JUDEAU 5441                   1   2  0     5       WHAMMO & THUDDA 4 U! (378)
 KATANA 5420                   1   2  0     5       AVENGERS (146)
 SCOURGE 5360                  0   3  0     3       ASSASSIN NATION (515)
 CASUS 5444                    0   2  0     2       VINCERE AUT MORI (564)
 VEXAS 5443                    0   2  0     2       VINCERE AUT MORI (564)
 FRIGHT 5469                   0   1  0     1       ASSASSIN NATION (515)
 BRING PAIN HAMMER 5464        0   1  0     1       VENDETTA HAMMERZ (554)
 SPUD-A-RONI 5466              0   1  0     1       VEGGIE PACK (369)
 KHAN 5470                     0   1  0     1       THE CANUCKS (58)
 BONE GOLEM 5468               0   1  0     1       STORMWATCH (440)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
VERY BAD RU 5401       0  1 0 2001 465              HIGH ELF 354          250 NONE    
PUNKIN CARVER 5081     5  5 1 THE CANUCKS 58        WHITE NOISE 3048      248 JUST REV
MICHAEL MOORE 5467     0  1 0 LORDS OF VALHALLA 508 THE RAGE MAN 359      250 NONE    
TYR 5412               2  3 0 LORDS OF VALHALLA 508 MERCURIAL MADMAN 5352 250         
ULTHAR AESIR 5437      0  2 0 LORDS OF VALHALLA 508 A-SPEAR-O-GUTS 3151   249         
ESCORIA 5413           2  1 0 THE NIGHTHAWKS 43     UYR DEMONSBANE 5349   249         
TRIAD 5342             1  1 0 SAMURAI KIDS II 551   SHEWISH GIANT 356     250 NONE    
DASHHA 5416            1  3 0 THE STORMBRINGERS 359 11TH COMMANDMENT 5453 250         
DASKON 4464           15 22 1 THE STORMBRINGERS 359 COMMANDER SPUD 5149   246 NOT REVE
STEPHEN 5404           3  1 1 THE STORMBRINGERS 359 RENEGADE 5400         248 JUST REV
URACCA EVENSTAR 5148   7 11 0 STORMWATCH 440        MANI 5102             247         
ULTHAR THRYM 5438      0  1 0 STORMWATCH 440        ULTHAR URUV 5409      248         
BROKEN TOE 5439        0  1 0 UNFIT TO BE ORCS 450  WURM KIN 362          250 NONE    
OKRA OGRE 5457         0  1 0 VEGGIE PACK 369       ULTHAR URUV 5409      249         

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
CALLIDUS 5445          1  1 0 VINCERE AUT MORI 564  TICHONDRIOUS 5129     250         
TARVAGE 5370           2  3 0 WHAMMO & THUDDA 4 378 ICE SLAYER HAMME 5322 246 REVENGED
BLOND MOMENT 5095     10  6 3 WHY DID I DO IT 540   PSYCH MAJOR 5018      250         
GOT HAMMERED 5091      8  6 0 WHY DID I DO IT 540   ZARENDARGAR 4888      249         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Chimlevtal -- Happy 250th cycle! -- Polar Bear

The COL -- I watch from Polaris.  8-1-2 against the Crying Cartel last turn!  Good 
job. -- Polar Bear

RTR -- Keep charging, warrior!  Fizban, Manager Dark & Firehawk are scared, and with 
good reason. -- Polar Bear

Destitute Noble -- I voted for Napulak.  You seriously need to consider your words.  
Napulak was 26-10 and a Duelmaster of Chimlevtal.  You sound mad or jealous because 
she went 4-0 against Numbers Game, with all 4 wins against Cherry 2000.  Too bad for 
you. -- Polar Bear

The Council of Lords -- It is great to be here and celebrate Chimlevtal's 250th 
cycle!  Salute! -- Raoul the Rude

The Council of Lords -- On turn #249 we went 8-1-2 against the Crying Cartel.  Well 
done! -- RTR

Fizball -- I had thought you might have some mettle, but alas, you are just another 
whiner and excuse maker.  So typical of a Crying Cartel Clone.  There is nothing you 
can tell me about war, peon.  I've been on the front lines in at least a dozen.  
NATO?  Not here, though you sound like a big UN/Chirac lover.  Don't run away now 
'cause I'll be seeing you. -- RTR

Manager Dork -- Keep hiding behind your newest clone, Fizball the eunuch. -- RTR 

Zarendarger -- Well done, beast from the steel worlds! -- RTR

Veggie Pack -- Welcome back!  It is good see you in Chimlevtal! -- RTR

Darzon the Pirate -- I'll buy you an ale when I return to Chimevtal. -- RTR

Master Janos -- Keep those Chimelvtal History Facts coming!  Great stuff! -- RTR

Destitute Noble -- Napulak had my vote.  Want to discuss it at The Rusted Cutlass? -- 

D. Noble -- Your just jealous because I went 4-0 against your team, you're 
"destitute" and I'm an immortal Lord Protector. -- Napulak

The Icelord -- A Olorin i yaresse. Mentaner i Numeherui. Tirien i Romenori. Maiaron i 
Oiosaila. -- RTR

High Lord Bosk -- Yenillor morne, tulinte I quettar, tercano nuruva. -- RTR

Happy 250th cycle glorious Chimlevtal! The history of this arena is unmatched.  I 
arrived here on turn #20 with my Stormguards and have been here ever since.  A raise 
of the blade in honor of Chimlevtal!  OMNE JUS STAT IN ARMIS. -- The Icelord and The 

Welcome to Chimlevtal all returning and new teams!  This is the greatest arena on 
Ghea.  Be strong and do as you will.  The swords of others will set you your limit. -
- The Council of Lords

High Lord Bosk -- Steel is the coinage of the warrior, with it he purchases what 
pleases him.  Salute mighty Battle Lord! -- The Icelord

RTR -- Tal, mighty Harbinger!  Let the Crying Cartel cluck like the hens they are.  
None would stand before you and spout off.  They are pathetic.  'S RIOGHAL MO DHREAM. 
-- The Icelord

Veggie Pack -- It is great to see you back in Chimlevtal!  You're always welcome to 
stop by for an ale at the Golden Dagger Inn.  Sorry about Okra Ogre. -- The Icelord

Fizball -- I hammered your boy.  If I was managed by you, I am sure you would order 
me to the Dark Arena or sit me out for 4 turns to avoid the BF.  Thankfully I am 
managed by a true warrior, not a pud like you.  Send your best.  Better yet, why 
don't YOU step out in front of me, worm. -- Zarendargar of Overlords ID #4888

Firehawk -- Uyr killed your boy.  Who are you going to send, Calleight?  The Crying 
Cartel would try to duck the BF, but you know I always show up. -- The Icelord

D. Noble -- I nominated and affirmed Napulak as a member of the Chimlevtal Hall of 
Fame.  She was 26-10, a Duelmaster of Chimlevtal and a 4-time stylemaster.  I know 
the history of this arena as well as anyone and she deserves it.  You might want to 
seriously consider your words.  IMO you shouldn't snivel if you didn't participate in 
the process. -- The Icelord

Fizball -- The Crying Cartel has a long history of getting it wrong, so let me help 
you out, pud.  You state for the year The COL was "5-4-1 against the VC."  Actually 
on turn #248 The COL was 6-4-1 vs the VC.  Hammer left the VC on 1/29/05.  Turn #248 
ran on 1/15/05.  Jarl Forkbeard beat Salem, Ulthar Jarva beat Ergg, Wulfgar beat Was 
Drunk, Svein Forkbeard beat Anders Diemed, Tyr beat Jericho, and Ulthar Thuune slew 
Ice Dragon Hammer.  Bartofeles lost to Got Hammered, Ulthar Es lost to She Made Me, 
Dashha lost to Escoria, and Greyscales lost to Blond Moment.  That is 6-4-1.  On turn 
#249 The COL went 8-1-2 against the VC.  <snicker>  Do you desire for me to print 
those match-ups?  The COL is 14-5-3 against the VC so far in 2005.  With some BF 
match ups though, you puds might tighten it up in the coming months.  TGWY. -- Master 

Darzon the Pirate -- Good to see you sea-dog.  Manager Darque doesn't want any part 
of you. -- The Icelord

The Icelord -- Well met, Mighty One!  The Veggie Pack is glad to be back in 
Chimlevtal!!  We celebrate cycle 250 in the honor of the Council of Lords!  Hussah!  
Est sularis oth mithas! -- Pulverizer, Veggie Pack

Chimlevtal -- A mighty HUSSAH to all of you!  It is the quarter millenium mark for 
Chimlevtal.  The Council of Lords salutes all who run their 5 warriors this turn!  
Omne jus stat in arimis! -- High Lord Bosk, The Stormbringers/Lords of Valhalla

Does anyone have a text version of the newsletter for turn #248 for Chimlevtal?  If 
you do, please email it to ghab@optonline.net.  Thanks! -- Ghab / Assassin Nation

     Will do.

Surtur -- You knew we were coming back, didn't you?  And you were just WAITING for 
me.  (sigh)  But that's the way it goes in the arena.  Good work on your part.  That 
was my bad knee. -- Kolum Marod

Helm Hammerhand -- Hmm, obviously, I was not paying attention.  It's been a long time 
since I was one-shotted like that. -- Kambard Murh

Salem -- I wish you wouldn't DO that.  It's so EMBARRASSING to lose to someone with 
fewer than half my fights. -- Les Nayle

Bamboo -- Ho!  I guess we could say you were "bamboozled."  Or maybe not.  Maybe if 
I'd lost, instead, which is a thing not to be considered, because I'm good, in a bad 
way, you understand, maybe then I'd be bamboozled.  In which case it must mean that 
you've been omshilled, and that doesn't sound quite right.  Still, there it is, and 
my teammates can just look dumb about it. -- Mendal Omshil

Ai -- Shouldn't you be a golem?  Somebody told me you were a golem, and I was SET for 
a golem.  Heck. -- Norgen Pelh
P.S.  Actually, I was set to stay retired, but does Jorja listen?  As if!

1 March 2005
                                    The Contract
                         [as retold by Hammer the WordSmith]
     What had begun as a contract for swords and armor between a well known name in
the DM community and the former VC Captain/WordSmith and WeaponSmith of the Vendetta
Cartel Tarantula Tribe was destined to impact and altar the landscape of the dueling
community for years to come.
     The following is but a condensed retelling of history in the making.

    Hammer continued sipping his tankard of Elven Tonic as the mysterious hooded
figure quietly seated himself across the table from the Veteran Manager whose back
was against the wall; allowing for a subtle, but effective surveillance of the dimly
lit tavern.
     Recent events in both Illis and North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena had stunned the DM
managerial world with the announcement that Hammer had resigned from his position as
a well respected member of the Vendetta Cartel Alliance.
     Those managers and associates closest to Hammer were shocked and dismayed that
there seemed to be NO Rational Explanation for Hammer making such a seemingly
irrational, hasty and extremely illogical decision; by what seemed to be a spur of
the moment reaction following the Declaration of War by Hammer in the DM 47 P-ads.
     This is what stirred the mysterious hooded figure to seek Hammer with a request
that would change the managerial course of both men; ultimately Rocking the
Managerial World of Alastari as a result of the forthcoming decisions reached by the
two Veterans.
     Time passed swiftly as both Veteran Managers discussed how the landscape of the
DM game on the sands of Alastari had changed over the years both in Basic and Tourney
play; producing a new breed of managers who would of necessity band together in an
alliance with a common goal; waging war against antagonists while improving the
managerial skills of each participating member in their glorious quest for DM
     Hammer listened intently as his unexpected guest inquired about the situation in
North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena; revealing his desire to participate in the upcoming
Turf War 4 contest in DM 47 with an alliance that would accept him on a more
permanent basis other than for just fighting together as a TW4 alliance to win fame
and Gift Certs.
     Here was a Veteran Manager, seeking the advice of Hammer regarding an alliance
to join on a permanent basis; plus extending a sword arm of friendship and requesting
that Hammer join him as an alliance mate with those who would welcome their
     The Iron in the Words of Hammer had produced this opportunity as a result of the
recent conflicts witnessed first hand by the manager seated across the table from
Hammer.  This Veteran Manager had been secretly searching and scouting around
Alastari for someone worth his mettle to fight alongside; someone who would know
where to find the perfect gang of rebels who were unafraid of waging war against
     Hammer knew exactly where to look and in a matter of days the two newcomers were
welcomed into the ranks of a group of managers who received them as war waging equals
in an alliance that had joined a Confederation of Alliances for the TW4 contest.
     Fighting under the banner of The Illuminati Confederation of Alliances alongside
members of Chaos Inc, kLk and The Company of Brothers during the TW4 was more than
either of the two Veteran Managers had envisioned a few months ago.
     Hammer was now entering a new journey with a new attitude.
     Perhaps you readers may have noticed that new attitude by now since this
announcement by Hammer is uncharacteristically Exclamation Point Free.
     Except for the famous quote by Hammer at the end of this announcement.
     Now that Hammer and the Mysterious Hooded Figure have agreed to join forces with
an alliance whose members have welcomed them enthusiastically; let those who desire
to be antagonistic be forewarned as to the identities of these newly welcomed wagers
of war:

kLk Bringer of Pain

kLk WordSmith and WeaponSmith
Minister of War
Illuminati Idealist

     "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

TRIAD was dealt death by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
BROKEN TOE was slaughtered by WURM KIN in a action packed 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
MICHAEL MOORE was murdered by THE RAGE MAN in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
VERY BAD RU was butchered by HIGH ELF in a popular 1 minute brutal Dark Arena fight.
OIL CAN HARRY devastated WHITE NOISE in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud brawl.
FAOLAN AP GRYFFYDD overpowered GROM HELLSCREAM in a 1 minute Bloodfeud struggle.
GREYSCALES devastated RENEGADE in a 3 minute one-sided Bloodfeud competition.
QATAR CLUB HAMMER handily defeated ULTHAR THUUNE in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud melee.
TERRIBLE TWO viciously subdued ZARENDARGAR in a 1 minute expert's Challenge fight.
COMMANDER SPUD was defeated by TRASHIUS in a action packed 1 minute Challenge match.
PSYCH MAJOR executed BLOND MOMENT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
GENERAL PURPOSE was subdued by TORNADO in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
MANI viciously subdued LES NAYLE in a 3 minute veteran's Challenge battle.
ENDOR handily defeated NORGEN PELH in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge conflict.
LOVE POTION #9 viciously subdued UYR DEMONSBANE in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
SVEIN FORKBEARD was handily defeated by AI in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
JARL FORKBEARD outlasted SALEM in a tiresome 8 minute Challenge bout.
DAMHAIN THE SATYR overpowered WAS DRUNK in a 5 minute gory one-sided Challenge bout.
VALKYRIE unbelievably bested NABUCA in a 3 minute Challenge competition.
HORAGALLES defeated SURTUR in a exciting 1 minute Challenge duel.
LOWLY WORM was overpowered by ULTHAR XANDO in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fray.
TEN-TON TESSIE bested ULTHAR ES in a popular 3 minute novice's Challenge bout.
ART-O'-CHOKE overpowered VEXAS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
11TH COMMANDMENT slew DASHHA in a 2 minute novice's Challenge duel.
100 GRAND defeated KATANA in a exciting 1 minute gruesome beginner's Challenge match.
CASUS was handily defeated by BANSHEE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge bout.
HOSTILIUS overpowered ICE SLAYER HAMMER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge competition.
SUM-R SQUASH beat ICY GRACIE HAMMER in a 1 minute gruesome novice's Challenge fight.
WARGASM was handily defeated by DROKK in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
MAGOG demolished BRILLIANT ORANGE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
DOOM HAMMER was beaten by NINJATO in a 1 minute gruesome veteran's bout.
RAUNI was demolished by REZOS THE THRACIAN in a 2 minute uneven Title contest.
SPATHA defeated M. CHARDINEE in a 3 minute struggle.
ABYSSINIAN subdued BARTOFELES in a 3 minute match.
HELM HAMMERHAND devastated IT FELT GOOD in a popular 1 minute brutal uneven bout.
MALICE was demolished by BIJIN in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
KAMBARD MURH won victory over KUNG-FU MASTER in a 2 minute one-sided bout.
VENGEANCE vanquished MENDAL OMSHIL in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
DISOBEDIENCE demolished WULFGAR in a 1 minute uneven competition.
BAMBOO was beaten by THRALL in a 2 minute fight.
ULTHAR JARVA was subdued by RAPTOR in a exciting 1 minute beginner vs. master duel.
MERCURIAL MADMAN viciously butchered TYR in a 3 minute bloody master vs. novice duel.
JOHN overpowered ULTHAR URUV in a 2 minute uneven competition.
FRED handily defeated SCOURGE in a 4 minute gory one-sided match.
KOLUM MAROD was demolished by BUKE in a 1 minute uneven fight.
DAVE BOWMAN was overpowered by HOT TEMPER HAMMER in a 1 minute uneven bout.
TICHONDRIOUS savagely slew CALLIDUS in a 1 minute gruesome competition.
PAPER CUT KING was outlasted by STEPHEN in a unpopular 9 minute match.
DUST MITE overpowered SPUD-A-RONI in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
ULTHAR ZAAR defeated A-SPEAR-O-GUTS in a 3 minute amateur's bout.
BLIND AMBITION bested KHAN in a 1 minute novice's conflict.
SHE MADE ME devastated BONE GOLEM in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
JUDEAU was bested by TOMATO-PURE-A in a exciting 1 minute amateur's fight.
PATRICIAS subdued FRIGHT in a popular 1 minute amateur's contest.
EDOM overpowered BRING PAIN HAMMER in a 2 minute gory mismatched duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 19         PARRY-LUNGE       16 -  14 -  0      53  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  18         BASHING ATTACK    41 -  38 -  2      52  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 14         SLASHING ATTACK   55 -  51 -  4      52  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     12         AIMED BLOW        39 -  37 -  3      51  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  11         PARRY-STRIKE      39 -  38 -  2      51  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    9         TOTAL PARRY       69 -  69 -  2      50  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     9         WALL OF STEEL     41 -  41 -  2      50  |
|AIMED BLOW                       9         PARRY-RIPOSTE      9 -  10 -  0      47  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         STRIKING ATTACK   82 -  95 -  9      46  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         LUNGING ATTACK    58 -  69 -  6      46  |

Turn 250 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        9 -  3     STRIKING ATTACK    7 - 12         3  SLASHING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK   10 -  4     PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  6         3  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK    10 -  8     AIMED BLOW         1 -  8         1  PARRY-STRIKE   
WALL OF STEEL      5 -  4     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         1  WALL OF STEEL  
BASHING ATTACK     6 -  5     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  BASHING ATTACK 
                                                                1  LUNGING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-STRIKE     REZOS THE THRACIAN 4993    19  11  0  117 OVERLORDS (509)
SLASHING ATTACK  TRASHIUS 4980              21  11  0  114 WHAMMO & THUDDA 4 U! (378)
WALL OF STEEL    OIL CAN HARRY 3814         15   9  0  113 THE CANUCKS (58)
STRIKING ATTACK  PSYCH MAJOR 5018            9   5  2  109 MILITARY MAYHEM (89)
TOTAL PARRY      ABYSSINIAN 4918            19  15  0   92 THE STORMBRINGERS (359)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    RAUNI 5035                 14   9  0   91 SOL INVICTUS (469)
BASHING ATTACK   WARGASM 1557               16  15  1   87 AVENGERS (146)
AIMED BLOW       UYR DEMONSBANE 5349         6   5  1   37 THE STORMGUARDS (78)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is DOOM HAMMER 3566.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was NABUCA 5369.  The ten other most popular fighters were MANI 5102, LOVE 
4917, TERRIBLE TWO 5195, HORAGALLES 5212, ULTHAR XANDO 5407, and DASHHA 5416.

The least popular fighter this week was STEPHEN 5460.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were PAPER CUT KING 5211, JARL FORKBEARD 5280, TYR 5412, SALEM 5222, BONE 
GOLEM 5468, KHAN 5470, SPUD-A-RONI 5466, CALLIDUS 5445, DAVE BOWMAN 4190, and KOLUM 
MAROD 5344.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

DROKK (31-4014) WHAMMO & THUDDA 4 U! (378)


     The winter tourney brought a lot of people to the Isle who didn't appear there 
normally.  This included Commission employees.  Half a dozen arenamasters regarded 
each other warily in the mirror behind the bar at the Pig in a Haystack.  The Pig was 
obscure and mediocre, drawing few gladiators, which is what they had all been looking 
for.  They saw gladiators every day.  Most arenamaster were convinced that this was 
some kind of punishment.
     You could always pick out the arenamasters in a crowd.  There were superficial 
differences:  One of these had clearly Adantri features, one wore an eye-patch, two 
were female.  But there were, in significant ways, alike.  The same size, the same 
hair-trigger alertness, the same deadliness.
     The one-eyed man broke the ice, raising his beer mug in salute.  "I'm Zrof One-
Eye from Zukal.  Sugar of Arvat--"  One of the women bowed slightly.  "I know Sugar.  
The rest of you...?"
     The Adantri matched his salute.  "Dernal of Dayla Kiv."
     "Daiyla Kiv?  Ah...."
     "No, without the 'I' in it.  These damned bureaucrats can't spell, and they 
thought adding an unnecessary vowel was exotic."  Disgust dripped from his voice.
     "Tell me about it!" another man growled in agreement.  "Khagal of Niatoli, and 
what they do to the spelling of THAT simple word--!"
     "I thought Daiyla, I mean Dayla Kiv had a different name right now," 
Arenamistress Sugar said.  "The arena, at least, because of a contest?"
     "Chavez Ravine."  Dernal's tone was the one that substituted in polite company 
for spitting on the floor.
     Zrof blinked, taken aback by the bitterness.  He wouldn't have minded a contest 
in Zukal, and damn what they called the place.  "It's only temporary, though."
     "Temporary, shmiperary," another man muttered.  He seemed well into his drinking, 
although, like all arenamasters, he carried his liquor well.  "They do it all the time 
in Aradi.  No reshpect.  Go around changing thish, changing that.  I wish I could 
change shome thingsh."  He signalled the bartender for a refill.
     The second woman put her hand over his mug.  "You've had enough, Harkon.  Try the 
coffee, instead."
     "You should be mad, too, Ripplesh," Harkon said.  "They're going to do shtuff 
like that in Jahnsh, aren't they?"
     Ripples Dorrigan shrugged.  All the men paused, some with glasses half raised, to 
watch.  "It's the way things are," she said.  "Not much we can do about it."
     "You know," Khagal of Niatoli said, "maybe we could make a few changes.  Fix the 
spelling of Arena 33, for one, change a few standby titles--"
     "The Commission hates changes."  Dernal of Dayla Kiv topped up his glass and 
drained it gloomily.
     "Yes, but if we disguise it," Sugar of Arvat said, excited, "make it... maybe a 
general Name-Change-O-Rama!  Then we could slip OUR changes through and no one would 
notice or mind."


     By popular demand, we are holding a Name-Change-o-Rama during the month of March.
If you wish to change the name of your warriors or teams, please contact RSI Customer 
Service.  The charge for a name change is $1, unless you're in DOOMCorps, in which 
case you take your chances.  (Just kidding, guys! *snicker*)