DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER Date : 05/06/2019 Duedate: 06/01/2019 CHIMLEVTAL ARENA DM-31 TURN-433 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS SPECTRUM AVENGERS (146) (31-6776) [17-23-3,107] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader LUMUS NELP POSITION IS EMPTY MIDDLE WAY 7 (536) (31-6328) [15-53-1,109] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite LUMUS NELP SPECTRUM MIDDLE WAY 7 (536) AVENGERS (146) (31-6328) [15-53-1,109] (31-6776) [17-23-3,107] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM JUST DESSERTS (569) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. AVENGERS (146) 67 2. USEFUL WEAPONS (636) 47 USEFUL WEAPONS (636) 3. BASH BROS OCEAN (627) 43 Unchartered Team 4. MIDDLE WAY 7 (536) 8 5. JUST DESSERTS (569) 7 (-1) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1/ 1 USEFUL WEAPONS (636) 195 112 8 63.5 1/ 1 JUST DESSERTS (569) 8 5 0 2/ 2 AFTER MIDNIGHT (662) 80 55 4 59.3 2/ 3 BASH BROS OCEAN (627) 8 6 0 3- 3 BOOK OF THOMAS (652) 34 31 4 52.3 3/ 5 AVENGERS (146) 8 7 1 4/ 4 SHADOWHOLD (640) 99 92 12 51.8 4/ 7 USEFUL WEAPONS (636) 7 3 1 5/ 5 BASH BROS OCEAN (627) 133 136 6 49.4 5/ 2 AFTER MIDNIGHT (662) 6 5 1 6/ 6 JUST DESSERTS (569) 99 107 5 48.1 6/ 6 MIDDLE WAY 7 (536) 5 10 0 7/ 7 AVENGERS (146) 447 484 34 48.0 7- 4 BOOK OF THOMAS (652) 4 2 0 8- 8 LEGIONS OF FATE (665) 22 38 3 36.7 8/ 9 SHADOWHOLD (640) 4 6 0 9/ 9 MIDDLE WAY 7 (536) 254 457 9 35.7 9- 8 LEGIONS OF FATE (665) 0 5 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank DUELMASTER'S COLUMN Notes from the arena champ. Well, they say it's always Five O'clock somewhere. So bottoms up, Chimlevtal! It is time for you all to gather 'round and hear your Duelmaster speak. Who am I you ask? Three Bears. *winces* No, that's not right... Three Beers. No, wait. It'll come to me. THIRD BEER! Wow, by now that seems so long ago, and in a galaxy far, far away. Hey! I was here last week, remember? Yeah, neither do I... First of all, I wanna talk about somethin' that's been botherin' me all week. My sister in arms, FOURTH SHOT, put down NOBUNAGA of those no good AVENGERS and what does that wench that writes our spy reports do? Doesn't even mention AFTER MIDNIGHT'S glorious kill! Oh sure, she mentions the Bloodfeud, the TV Challenge (I'll get to that in a moment), even Lady Smith's uninspired down challenge (6 pts. That's all?), but nothing about Chimlevtal's only kill? For shame, Belinda, our community leader and biggest cheerleader! Well, you do look like a cheerleader with that giant "C" on your sweater. After all, I assume it stands for "Chimlevtal" but right now I think it stands for another word: TABOR SKULLSHOT! The little weasel TV Challenged the great; the illustrious; the always on time; the magnanimous; the princess of protection; the silent guardian; the ma'am with a plan; the watchful protector; the avoider of proper sun tanning; the wiccan witch; the dark night; the holder of nom-noms; the goddess of time; the hour of power; the UNDEFEATED WITCHING HOUR! What happened you ask? TABOR SKULLSHOT folded like a cheap suitcase; choked; collapsed like a house of cards; lost by a mile; bent a knee; suffered defeat; was punted like a dwarf; got his arse handed to him; was beat down like a rented mule; couldn't finish what he started; and ultimately his quest for glory was a huge FAIL! And just who runs SHADOWHOLD, anyway? Is it one of those transcendental dinner circle entities? The one with the manboobs, 36DD?? Who knows? Speaking of which, any moment now a voluptuous barmaid should be walking by with a huge "Main Event" sign because that's just what I'm about to talk about. SPECTRUM vs. THIRD BEER Round 1 Fight! So Spectrum is a mace using Basher and I was going to use chainmail, but I remember something or other that D. NOBLE said a few turns back about chainmail and decided to go in full on plate armor instead. It's probably all nonsense, but what's life without whimsy? I am sure glad that I did, though! I took some shots and Spectrum ran out of gas fast in that first minute and after a couple of swipes from my great sword he was facing death. Sadly folks, he lived. I'm going to use the same strategy this turn because a wise scribe once wrote: If you won, why change anything? Lastly, I'll be getting my invite to the Isle this turn. Do you know what this means!?! Prolly, that I've only got one more of these things in the pipe and I better take shots from the top while I can. So with that I will say goodnight warriors of Chimlevtal, good work, sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning. -- Third Beer Duelmaster SPY REPORT After last turn's complete mess up, I'm still in a bad mood. Yeah, it was my fault. I'm the one who mixed up the paperwork and resubmitted the prior turn's report. Two hours of work effectively flushed down the toilet. So this turn, you get what you get. In fact, I think I'll only report on one team's exploits. Welcome to the spy report all about AVENGERS. Before the fights began, the bookies quickly noticed that AVENGERS were challenged three times and one of their matchups was against the cool Duelmaster Mr. Freeze. As you would expect, these criminals, I mean bookies, started setting the odds up. In the first challenge, ARNAGE went after RYO, almost certainly looking for some big skills and hopefully an easy win against the sub-.500 RYO. Well this time experience won out and RYO won in two! The bookies really don't care, because they get their cut either way. In the second challenge, QUEEN OF THE NORTH came after ODACHI. The style matchup this time wasn't clearly in the challenger's favor, but the outcome was. As consolation for 5 minutes of showmanship, ODACHI was the most popular warrior for the turn. In my absolute favorite fight of the cycle, MAPLE LEIF downchallenged ADIOS AMIGO. Before the fight even began, the crowd started to chant for a kill. And they were not disappointed. ADIOS AMIGO kills the downchallenger for #3. Whether fate, luck, or simply the commission enjoying the name of this warrior, that gives ADIOS 3 kills in 4 wins. Spectacular job. Keep it up and you'll have a permanent place in this column! In the title fight, MR. FREEZE found every exposed bit of skin (as well as some unexposed places) quickly and ISHIBO quickly cried out in surrender, simply to get back to the warmth of the locker rooms. Finally, the young WET NOODLE was simply overmatched by the veteran SOJUTSU. All total, AVENGERS had a 3-2-1 turn and 1 award. Not a single team avoided them this time out. They issued four of their own avoids, THE CANUCKS being the most avoided team with half of the AVENGERS' avoids. DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME SPECTRUM 6776 17 23 3 107 AVENGERS (146) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME LUMUS NELP 6328 15 53 1 109 MIDDLE WAY 7 (536) URAKO WITSTEALER 6505 22 19 4 105 SHADOWHOLD (640) FROG-EYE SALAD 6680 7 1 0 101 JUST DESSERTS (569) -SILVER GLASS 6748 11 2 0 100 BOOK OF THOMAS (652) -FOURTH SHOT 6876 15 12 1 95 AFTER MIDNIGHT (662) THIRD BEER 6874 14 13 0 93 AFTER MIDNIGHT (662) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME OROKE STONEMAGUS 6603 18 15 4 87 SHADOWHOLD (640) RONDOR SENDAL 6343 15 39 1 85 MIDDLE WAY 7 (536) PANDA ROSS 6383 16 29 2 79 MIDDLE WAY 7 (536) CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -WITCHING HOUR 6933 12 0 0 57 AFTER MIDNIGHT (662) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME NORISON ROSE 6453 12 19 0 55 MIDDLE WAY 7 (536) -LASSO 6865 14 7 0 54 USEFUL WEAPONS (636) TABOR SKULLSHOT 6903 6 2 0 54 SHADOWHOLD (640) HANZO 6918 6 11 0 50 AVENGERS (146) HURRICANE 6957 3 1 0 47 BASH BROS OCEAN (627) -ARCTIC NIGHT 6773 6 1 1 44 BOOK OF THOMAS (652) -BLOOD METAL 6912 4 0 2 44 BOOK OF THOMAS (652) -BOLO 6908 9 2 1 34 USEFUL WEAPONS (636) STORM SEASON 6956 4 0 0 34 BASH BROS OCEAN (627) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -SNARKEY LIME PIE 6726 3 3 0 33 JUST DESSERTS (569) -RED 6929 6 6 0 32 LEGIONS OF FATE (665) -NASTOLGIA 6922 3 2 0 31 BOOK OF THOMAS (652) -BRAEDELON 6927 4 8 1 30 LEGIONS OF FATE (665) RED PEPPER 6958 4 6 0 29 AVENGERS (146) WINTER 6953 3 1 0 29 BASH BROS OCEAN (627) SKILLET 6975 1 0 1 29 USEFUL WEAPONS (636) HAXE DOOMCARVER 6882 5 6 1 28 SHADOWHOLD (640) -DAMIEN 6964 2 2 0 28 LEGIONS OF FATE (665) -HEAT WAVE 6900 1 3 0 27 BOOK OF THOMAS (652) BASORN KUBIKIRI 6965 3 2 0 26 AVENGERS (146) POKER 6970 2 1 0 24 USEFUL WEAPONS (636) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME PISSED PIZOOKIE 6966 2 2 0 22 JUST DESSERTS (569) BALKO STONEFALCON 6910 5 5 1 21 SHADOWHOLD (640) BALONEY SPUMONI 6746 3 4 0 20 JUST DESSERTS (569) -THUD 6959 3 4 0 15 LEGIONS OF FATE (665) -SPLAT 6960 3 4 1 14 LEGIONS OF FATE (665) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME 2 X 4 6974 1 0 0 8 USEFUL WEAPONS (636) NEARLY PARKER 6973 1 1 0 4 MIDDLE WAY 7 (536) -COCKFIGHT 6967 0 3 0 3 AFTER MIDNIGHT (662) -EMERGENCY ROOM 6976 0 1 0 1 AFTER MIDNIGHT (662) TANKEN 6987 0 1 0 1 AVENGERS (146) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? COPS! 6875 13 13 0 AFTER MIDNIGHT 662 SPECTRUM 6776 431 REVENGED NOBUNAGA 6915 8 11 1 AVENGERS 146 FOURTH SHOT 6876 432 LOBSTER 6978 0 1 0 BASH BROS OCEAN 627 WURM KIN 433 NONE SEA BOTTOM 6981 0 1 0 BASH BROS OCEAN 627 BLACK ORC 433 NONE PREACHER 0 0 0 DARK ARENA SKILLET 6975 433 NONE R.R. SPIKE 6923 5 4 0 USEFUL WEAPONS 636 BLOOD METAL 6912 430 PERSONAL ADS Lasso -- I hate getting matched with you, the fights are so long. But today, you're shoestrings. -- Panda Ross Urako Witstealer -- I don't have any to steal, so there. -- Rondor Sendal Frog-Eye Salad -- Maybe if I add a bunch of capers? And garlic, of course. -- Lumus Nelp Nastolgia -- Well, of course you hurt. But you survived, which is what counts. Be glad the Commission decided against permanent wounds. -- Norison Rose Ah, good, an easy standby to start with. -- Nearly Parker Fourth Shot -- I'm unlucky. -- Lumus Nelp How can a drunk be Duelmaster of mighty Chimlevtal? Disgusting! -- Lady Smith Panda Ross, well, you made that clear. I need a thicker twine! -- Lasso D. Noble, your silly flirting with me will get you no where. Finding me some of those 21-17-x-17 recruits of which you speak, just might. -- Lady Smith Noble, ye be gittin'yer eyes offa me wife, y'hear?! -- Smithy (brandishing a hot iron) Hanzo, you are the sunshine of my smile..... -- Bolo What!? I was ripped off by a Pissed Pizookie? Whilst I had to go to the bathroom? What a revolting development! -- Poker Tabor Skullshot -- I hope you enjoy another loss on your record you tourney freak. -- Witching Hour Winter -- One more hit and Spring would have sprung. -- E.R. Belinda -- I was not surprised. Math isn't your strong suit, and while I may not be able to tell which finger you're holding up right now, I do know how many political points I need to graduate. -- Third Beer Spectrum -- Not even close. -- Third Beer Nobunaga -- You were just so ugly. I couldn't let you live. -- Fourth Shot The Consortium Folk -- Who is a weirdo? We don't know, but it sure takes one to know one! -- After Midnight Chimlevtal -- Thank you for the responses. For now I am retiring this team, but will continue on in DM 54. Good luck to all. -- Bliew, mgr Legions of Fate P {margin-top:0;margin-bottom:0;} Poker -- Armor...useful stuff. -- Pizookie Storm Season -- Probably the most interesting fight of my young career. You've convinced me that I need to focus on doing what I was born to do...ATTACK! -- Baloney S. W.H. -- We don't eat salad...you do?? -- D. Noble (Mother Lode is deceased...please keep up) Panda -- You don't need ANY of that stuff! I come ready to consume. -- Frog-Eye Salad D. Noble -- That is a fantastic way to think about the Consortium Warriors. In fact, I'm going to go one further and add Internet filters to filter out all of Consortium's posts which show the actual designs! Then I won't ever see the real designs and my bubble will never burst! -- Assur Thanks Weirdo. I have been known to sabotage my own results from time to time, but when I see 15-14-13-12-11-10-9 as a potential design, I just can't resist!!! And you have no idea how much fun I had running that 3-14-10-15-15-12-15 BA to a 16-11 record. Basher weapons are so bad anyways, that using DA unorthodox isn't such a handicap. -- Assur P.S. I don't recommend doing these things (especially if you care about winning), but they can be fun and sometimes you even learn interesting tidbits. Consortium -- From what I've heard, she'll shack up with anyone. However I have standards and she doesn't meet them. -- Assur LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS LOBSTER was butchered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight. SKILLET viciously butchered PREACHER in a action packed 2 minute Dark Arena battle. SEA BOTTOM was assassinated by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel. THIRD BEER was viciously subdued by SPECTRUM in a 3 minute Bloodfeud Title contest. URAKO WITSTEALER devastated PANDA ROSS in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl. POKER overpowered NEARLY PARKER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl. FROG-EYE SALAD overpowered RONDOR SENDAL in a action packed 1 minute uneven melee. OROKE STONEMAGUS was vanquished by LUMUS NELP in a 1 minute one-sided duel. NORISON ROSE was vanquished by HANZO in a 1 minute one-sided duel. TABOR SKULLSHOT overpowered PISSED PIZOOKIE in a popular 1 minute uneven match. HURRICANE overpowered THE USEROUS MERCHANT in a 1 minute one-sided match. HAXE DOOMCARVER was bested by RED PEPPER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute conflict. STORM SEASON narrowly defeated BALONEY SPUMONI in a 2 minute bloody match. BALKO STONEFALCON was overpowered by BASORN KUBIKIRI in a 4 minute conflict. WINTER overpowered EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute one-sided duel. 2 X 4 bested TANKEN in a exciting 2 minute beginner's duel. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |SLASHING ATTACK 5 PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 - 1 - 0 75 | |BASHING ATTACK 4 AIMED BLOW 18 - 9 - 1 67 | |STRIKING ATTACK 4 STRIKING ATTACK 22 - 15 - 1 59 | |TOTAL PARRY 4 TOTAL PARRY 28 - 20 - 0 58 | |WALL OF STEEL 4 WALL OF STEEL 25 - 21 - 1 54 | |AIMED BLOW 3 PARRY-STRIKE 4 - 4 - 0 50 | |PARRY-LUNGE 1 PARRY-LUNGE 6 - 6 - 0 50 | |PARRY-STRIKE 1 SLASHING ATTACK 25 - 25 - 1 50 | |LUNGING ATTACK 1 LUNGING ATTACK 10 - 16 - 0 38 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 BASHING ATTACK 21 - 37 - 2 36 | Turn 433 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: PARRY-LUNGE 1 - 0 SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 4 2 BASHING ATTACK BASHING ATTACK 4 - 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 2 LUNGING ATTACK STRIKING ATTACK 3 - 1 PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 2 WALL OF STEEL TOTAL PARRY 3 - 1 LUNGING ATTACK 0 - 1 2 TOTAL PARRY AIMED BLOW 2 - 1 WALL OF STEEL 0 - 4 1 AIMED BLOW 1 STRIKING ATTACK 1 SLASHING ATTACK TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME AIMED BLOW URAKO WITSTEALER 6505 22 19 4 105 SHADOWHOLD (640) STRIKING ATTACK FROG-EYE SALAD 6680 7 1 0 101 JUST DESSERTS (569) WALL OF STEEL THIRD BEER 6874 14 13 0 93 AFTER MIDNIGHT (662) SLASHING ATTACK OROKE STONEMAGUS 6603 18 15 4 87 SHADOWHOLD (640) TOTAL PARRY TABOR SKULLSHOT 6903 6 2 0 54 SHADOWHOLD (640) BASHING ATTACK HURRICANE 6957 3 1 0 47 BASH BROS OCEAN (627) Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is LUMUS NELP 6328. The most popular warrior this turn was SPECTRUM 6776. The ten other most popular fighters were 2 X 4 6974, SKILLET 6975, HAXE DOOMCARVER 6882, URAKO WITSTEALER 6505, STORM SEASON 6956, FROG-EYE SALAD 6680, TABOR SKULLSHOT 6903, HURRICANE 6957, RED PEPPER 6958, and BALONEY SPUMONI 6746. The least popular fighter this week was NORISON ROSE 6453. The other ten least popular fighters were OROKE STONEMAGUS 6603, NEARLY PARKER 6973, SEA BOTTOM 6981, BASORN KUBIKIRI 6965, PISSED PIZOOKIE 6966, RONDOR SENDAL 6343, PANDA ROSS 6383, LOBSTER 6978, WINTER 6953, and HANZO 6918. MAIL-IN TOURNEY LXVII ELIGIBLES TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME DROKK 4014 (103-64-2) 8 3 1 WHAMMO & THUDDA 4U! ONUPHRE 3385 (123-93-3) 1 3 0 WHAMMO & THUDDA 4U! CHALLENGERS TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME THIRD BEER 6874 (14-12-0) 1 3 0 AFTER MIDNIGHT APPRENTICES TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME COCKFIGHT 6967 (0-3-0) 1 3 0 AFTER MIDNIGHT FRESHMEN FOOLS TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME PATRICK BATEMAN 6839 (31-21-1) 0 3 0 YUPPIE HORDE CHALLENGERS FOOL TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME FOURTH SHOT 6876 (15-12-1) 0 3 0 AFTER MIDNIGHT SILVER GLASS 6748 (11-2-0) 0 3 0 BOOK OF THOMAS CHAMPIONS FOOLS TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME ARCTIC NIGHT 6773 (6-1-1) 0 3 0 BOOK OF THOMAS APPRENTICES FOOL TOURNEY W L K TEAM NAME EMERGENCY ROOM 6976 (0-1-0) 0 3 0 AFTER MIDNIGHT * * * * * MEMO * * * * * From: The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission To: All Managers In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's cramp, the census form has been eliminated, effective immediately. Managers may register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by simply writing them on a separate piece of paper and submitting them to the Commission. Each warrior may have up to 15 favorite sayings. Each saying must be categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch, Victory and may be up to 70 characters long. For any questions, please contact the Gladiatorial Commission.