Date   : 09/03/2008    Duedate: 09/16/2008


DM-32    TURN-584

This Weeks Top Honors


(32-4617) [15-9-3,131]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

BARN OF HORRORS (358)          
(32-4617) [15-9-3,131]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

ANGUISH                        SNOWFLAKE
ANGELS OF PAIN (360)           RILL'S GCSC2 (370)
(32-4466) [25-22-1,98]         (32-4689) [14-9-1,64]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. SARATOGA GLORY (352)        46
2. FOR THE SHIRE (359)         27      SARATOGA GLORY (352)
3. THE REPUBLIC (380)          27      Unchartered Team
4. WAX HOSTILE (399)           21
5. ORDER (413)                 19      THE LIARS CLUB (205)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 SARATOGA GLORY (352)     198 112 18 63.9   1/ 1 SARATOGA GLORY (352)     10  5 0
 2/ 2 DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)    %1042 622 54 62.6   2/ 4 ROMAN HEROES (73)         9  5 0
 3/ 3 ANGELS OF PAIN (360)     219 146  9 60.0   3/ 2 BARN OF HORRORS (358)     6  6 0
 4/ 4 BARN OF HORRORS (358)     92  67  5 57.9   4/ 7 THE REPUBLIC (380)        4  6 0
 5- 5 LUROCIAN GUARD (378)     111  84  5 56.9   5/ 9 WAX HOSTILE (399)         4  6 0
 6- 6*BEHIND THE BUSHES (369)   13  10  1 56.5   6/ 6 ANGELS OF PAIN (360)      4  7 1
 7/ 7 ROMAN HEROES (73)        619 499 69 55.4   7/ 5 DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)     4  8 0
 8/ 8 GEMSTONE BEASTS (362)     25  22  1 53.2   8/ 8 CAESAR'S THUGS (379)      4  9 1
 9/ 9 CAESAR'S THUGS (379)      66  63 11 51.2   9/10 FOR THE SHIRE (359)       4  9 0
10-11 HOUSE OF JADE (414)       27  26  1 50.9  10- 3 LUROCIAN GUARD (378)      3  2 0
11/10 RILL'S GCSC2 (370)       150 145  5 50.8  11/13 ORDER (413)               2  5 0
12/12 FOR THE SHIRE (359)       21  22  0 48.8  12-11*BEHIND THE BUSHES (369)   1  1 0
13/13 THE REPUBLIC (380)        49  60  4 45.0  13-15 HOUSE OF JADE (414)       0  4 0
14/15 ORDER (413)               17  38  1 30.9  14/14 RILL'S GCSC2 (370)        0  4 0
15/16 WAX HOSTILE (399)         13  38  0 25.5  15/16 GEMSTONE BEASTS (362)     0  3 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

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         The Caesar Chronicles:  Observations from the Pinnacle of Greatness
                       A Day in the Life of an Arvat Legend...

     Caesar gripped the Cobra 460cc driver with surgical precision.  The afternoon
sun cast its warmth and light through a relatively cloudless sky.  The humidity,
however, was something to contend with.  The newly constructed Caesar's Country Club
featured a championship 36 hole golf course, a magnificent club house, swimming
pools, tennis courts, a large driving range and all of the amenities that one could
expect within the Arvat Upper Class.  Caesar stared eagerly down the long winding
fairway towards a distant flag atop a lush green defended by several bunkers.
     To his left, the miserable Arvat swampland was still present, as even Caesar
Industries did not have the capability of draining it entirely.  An epic and
ecologically catastrophic effort had gone into burning away wetlands and forest to
accommodate the sprawling country club.  Near the swampland portion, coolies had
erected giant mosquito nets that blocked out the swarms of insects angrily buzzing
about on the opposite side.  On days when Caesar and his lieutenants teed off,
coolies were stationed on all fairways with fans and large pots of burning insect
repellant.  Some of Arvat's mosquitoes could be compared to large birds.  These
mosquito swarms are legendary across Alastari and occasionally, they would ascend
upon Zuwayza and some of the surrounding cities during high humidity spells.  The end
result was massive annoyance and the spread of West Arvat Disease, a deadly mosquito
borne illness known to wipe out the mortals of this land.
     Like a golf deity, Caesar swung the driver with massive power and deadly
accuracy.  The little white ball sailed into the distance, aloft for what seemed an
eternity.  With a violent touchdown, some 300 yards distant, the ball struck the
earth and rolled forward another 50 yards.  The crowd of Arvat nobles and
aristocracy, perched on the sidelines sipping chilled goblets of Caesar's Estates
Sauvignon Blanc and fanned by coolie servants, let loose a great cheer as the ball
landed perfectly in the fairway with a definite wedge shot to the pin.
     Nearby, a coolie stood ready with Caesar's bag as he returned the club.
Trebonius the Magnificent and Darius the Great had already hit their shots, albeit
not as well as Caesar.  The three headed out into the fairway amid the cheers and
applause of the crowd.  Everyone came to watch Caesar win various tournaments and
championships, and today would no different.
     "I am hearing rumblings of renewed efforts to organize coolie labor," stated
Caesar as the three men walked along the pristine fairway.
     "It is true, my lord," replied Darius.  "Mad Max is trying to disrupt our
business reliance on large pools of unskilled, illegal labor by driving up our costs.
At the last shareholder's meeting, our numbers were not well received and we missed
estimates for 3Q.  One analyst even downgraded our stock."
     "To the devil with the shareholders!" snapped Caesar.  "Someday we will have
enough equity to buy them out and install our own capitalist pig management team.
And have that analyst killed off by one of our Aimed Blow Ninjas."
     "No one should care about these coolies." chuckled Trebonius, "There are tons of
them and most were struck over the head with a stupid stick at birth.  We would have
never been able to construct our Country Club or maintain the Caesar's Estates
Vineyard.  And then there is your park view condo in Aljafir, the summer home in
Zuwayza and your ski chalet in Chimlevtal's Green Mountains.  And what about your ex-
wives, mistresses, mansion here in Arvat and your various restaurant ventures?"
     "That is why I see nothing funny or amusing about this at all." replied Caesar.
"These coolie labor organizers pose a clear and present danger to our decadent,
wasteful and selfish lifestyles."
     "Something must be done, sire!" shouted Darius.
     "A plan has already been set in motion." mused Trebonius.  "I've dispatched some
of our black masked thugs to disrupt this afternoon's planned coolie labor assembly.
We'll see how they react to the club."
     "Excellent!" exclaimed Caesar as he patted Trebonius on the back.
     "And what of this latest round of Mad Max mischief?" asked Darius, in a careful
and deliberate tone.
     "We shall hit him where it hurts, in his stomach." responded Caesar.  "Let's see
if he can find a brick oven pie anywhere in Arvat when Roman Breads, LLC (an Arvat
monopoly) cuts off the dough supply."
     All three men let loose with a great laugh.  The chuckling went on for quite
some time...
     Meanwhile, in the dusty crowded streets of Arvat, the average citizen and the
droves of immigrant coolies contended with the miserable hand they had been dealt.
Daily life was far different for the average citizen than that of the Upper Class,
the elite group comprising 1% of the population that controlled 90% of the wealth in
the city.  A vast disparity that kept conditions abysmal in Arvat.  Further
compounding the problem was the relentless competition from unregistered coolies who
worked for cash under the table, although often under horrendous conditions with
little regard for their health or well being.  And a third, universally despised
group:  organized coolie labor.
     In the center of Arvat lays the City Hall Building, a sham government structure
established by the Brotherhood of the Blade to ensure that big industry's interests
came before that of the average citizen.  An ornate and elaborate building that
served as a shining symbol of waste and government excess where puppet installed
politicians inundated the populace with empty political rhetoric, silly promises of a
better life and endless political commercials depicting themselves as agents of
change.  While behind the scenes, quietly accepting every bribe and nickel from those
that would pay for access and of course, the tycoons of Arvat industry that really
ruled the city.
     Now in front of that building, a coolie mob has assembled.  From their windows
in the lofty structure, terrified politicians looked out at the unthinkable--coolies
assembling and demanding government accountability!  How dare they!  The politicians,
spineless cowards all, shrank from the sight and reclined back in to their giant
offices, many furious at this interruption to note dictation with their summer
     Now, as always in times of crisis, the government lay paralyzed.  What could
they do?  They had already tried a full Nuclear Wind Assault, the deadliest tool in
their arsenal, by holding a marathon filibuster with the coolie labor union in an
effort to bore and snore them into submission.  Yet this had failed when a truckload
of energy drinks, owned by a Mad Max subsidiary, arrived and tossed out free bottles
to the crowd.
     And now, the angry throng of coolies grew more emboldened as the politicians
shut their blinds and locked the gates to City Hall.  The politicians could not order
the military in to brutally quell the rally, although they were tempted.  However,
this would constitute crossing the line by visibly displaying their true intentions
and actions in the news media.  Damn journalists!  However, an anonymous third party
acting independent and unknowing of the government would be another story.
     The mob, a large group of over 5,000 filthy smelling coolies, chanted "End
Unregistered Coolie Labor!  Raise Coolie wages!" over and over, growing more and more
furious as the politicians withdrew into inaction cocoons.  They bore signs,
manufactured by a Mad Max signage company, bearing logos stating "Caesar Must Go" and
"Down with Caesar Industries!" and "End Monopolies!" as they marched along Main
     Suddenly, a horn blast cut through the chants and cries of the oppressed rabble.
Heading up South Main Street and shrouded in a dust cloud, a small group was rapidly
approaching.  As they drew closer and to the horror of the mob, they could make out
their features, or sort of...  What they could see was a group of black shirted,
black masked men bearing mauls descending upon the mob.
     For the coolies near the interior of the mob, they could not ascertain what was
occurring. For the coolies on the outside edges, sheer terror set in as the black
clad thugs began swing their mauls with no regard for their targets.  Coolie heads
flew deeper into the crowd, limbs were splintered and rib cages were broken to pieces
as the ruthless thugs pounded their way deeper in the crowd.  The shrill screams of
terror echoed throughout the city and screaming coolies frantically searched for an
exit from the street.  The retreat quickly deteriorated into a rout and the coolies
began trampling one another in the blood and dusty street.  Total chaos overcame the
mob as the thugs swung their mauls.  Heads were flying everywhere and trampled
coolies littered the square.  Totally coolie madness had overtaken the mob!
     The coolies knew the day was lost, the Mad Max energy drink truck had sped
through the crowd at the first hint of trouble, literally plowing into and running
over those in its path, their coolie protest signs lay trampled in the blood and dust
and hundreds had perished in the ensuing chaos caused by the panicked flight of the
     Only minutes had elapsed, yet now the street was empty, except for the piles of
unfortunate coolies.  The black clad thugs leaned against their red stained mauls and
stood watching the mob dissipate.  They chuckled loudly from beneath their masks.
Big Business had triumphed again!  They turned and looked at City Hall, yet not
surprisingly, it lay empty.  The cowardly politicians and their summer interns had
fled in their black tinted, bullet proof rickshaws and under heavy guard back to
their mansions in the Arvat countryside.
     Later that day, in the clubhouse bar, Caesar sipped a 50 year old Port wine from
an old Malcorn vineyard.  Today, it tasted better than ever.  He looked about at the
enormous sums of wealth that represent his life and lit a cohiba.

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                            Barn of Horrors, In Memoriam

     Attached is a list of the dead of Barn of Horrors.  Two have been killed in the
arena and fifteen have been killed in the Dark Arena.  While there is one warrior I
probably should have a little more patience with, overall I am happy with everyone
that I sent to fight at night.  Here they are in no specific order.

     Count Goatula LU 13-12-11-15-17-9-7 Good/Good.  Hosed in Defense got him killed
     Goat Lich BA  13-12-14-4-21-13-7 Great/Great.  I gave him a shot in the DA to
prove himself.
     Silo of Death WS 9-10-17-13-17-7-11 Norm/Tremendous.  Loved the damage but he
was hosed in attack and I didn't feel like dealing with him.
     Blood Milk SL 12-14-10-13-17-11-7 Good/Good.  Too vanilla for me at the time.
     DA Meat AB 13-12-15-9-11-9-15 Norm/Good.  Started 3 wit and 5 will....
     DA Meat 1 SL 9-9-17-17-9-12-11 Litte/Good.  Born Expert Init.  May have been a
decent ST.
     Bloody Goat SL 9-10-12-15-17-10-11 Norm/Good. Just seeming boring to me.
     Bloody Bunny LU 9-13-15-13-17-10-7 Good/Good. See above. ZZZZZZZZ
     Broken Egg BA 17-13-11-17-7-8-11 Poor/Good.  I'd have given him a shot if he had
Normal Endurance and did Great or better damage.
     Cracked Yolk BA 17-21-15-6-13-3-9 Great/Good.  Crappy damage.
     Radioactive Rabbit BA 21-13-9-11-7-10-13 Poor/Great.
     Runny Yolk LU 9-11-10-15-17-13-9 Norm/Norm.
     Frankengoat BA 13-4-19-11-21-9-7 Norm/Good.  Didn't learn a skill in his first
fight and didn't do enough damage to warrant his roster slot.
     Dr Frankenhen PR 11-17-6-17-7-9-17 Poor/Little.  Loved this rollup but came back
with Little damage and was hosed in defense.
     Werebunny SL 15-5-9-17-17-14-7 Norm/Good.  Died at 5-2-1.  I somewhat regret
killing him off.  He was learning terribly (10 skills in 9FE) and I wasn't having a
lot of fun with him.  Looking back, after he came back from the Dark Arena I should
have allowed him to stick around.
     Frankenrooster AB 11-10-7-15-11-9-21 Norm/Norm.  Killed by Karlrak at 9-6-0.
Born with Expert Attack as well.  Just a fun warrior that is missed.
     Demonic Egg PR 9-10-10-21-15-4-15 Norm/Norm.  Killed by Slapyouinpublic at 10-
10-1.  D.E. was really starting to come into his own but unfortunately for him he met
a warrior that wanted his blood.  He is missed.

     I am SURE this list will continue to grow over the years.  Hopefully though not
that much.
     For those that have died.  We salute you!!!!

Mad Max

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                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 599): MORAVIA MAUVE of BLUE MOON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 601): DEMOCRITUS of DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 595): WIND RIDER of GREENWARDENS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 597): 24 CARAT of GOLDEN GLADIATORS (Midas, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 596): NOVELUS of FIELDS OF ELYSIUM (Caesar, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 594): PETE MOSS of FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 297): VORTEX of FLYING MONKEYS (?, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 587): MOSSMAN of CROCS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 295): EXECUTIONER of RETRIBUTION (Lord of Retribution, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 583): CANNIBALISTIC COW of BARN OF HORRORS (Mad Max, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 581): THE MANIAC of RAVAGING LORDS (General Ikillu)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 572): ALE'CHAI TALLSKY of PHILANTHROPISTS (Aragorn, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 535): LEO POWERS of MEDAL OF HONOR F1 (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 272): TUNDRA of ARCTIC WASTES (Wretch, mgr.)
 DM  47 DOUBLE X (turn 266): THE RON of WARHAMMERS (Coyote, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 253): ON MY WAY of OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 462): WONDER BUBBLE of INCONSISTENT FURY (Banthius, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 449): BOY GEORGE of CHILDHOOD TRAUMA (Samwise the Bald)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 440): XAVAN YOLE of MIDDLE WAY 16 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 426): MERRO DOSH of SAND DANCERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 202): SKIN PEELER of BLACKMAIL (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAYLA KIV (turn 396): RUBY TUESDAY of CORPS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 394): FOOTSTEPS of PARANOID ASYLUM (Jekyll, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 599): BLUE MOON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 601): DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 595): GREENWARDENS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 597): GOLDEN GLADIATORS (Midas, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 596): MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 595): CYNNING RUNTS (Deep Thought, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 297): EXPENSE ACCOUNT (Finance Manager, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 587): BOHICA (?, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 295): WAR (Lord of War, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 583): SARATOGA GLORY (The Trainer, mgr.)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 581): BAD COMPANY (Bill, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 572): LOST CAUSE (Vol, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 535): POSITIVE ALTERNATIVE (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 272): DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  47 DOUBLE X (turn 266): THE BEAR'S PAW (Kat, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 253): LIFE IMPACTS (Smitty, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 462): INCONSISTENT FURY (Banthius, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 449): ELOQUENT KNIGHTS (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 440): MIDDLE WAY 16 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 426): MIGHTY DUCKS (Woody, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 202): MONGOL HORDE (?, mgr.)
 DM  74 DAYLA KIV (turn 396): CORPS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  75 JADE MOUNTAIN (turn 394): PARANOID ASYLUM (Jekyll, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 488): DO IT AGAIN et al (The Dark One, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 598): BLU JON of BLUE MOON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 601): HERACLITUS of DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 596): NOVELUS of FIELDS OF ELYSIUM (Caesar, mgr.)
                (turn 595): TAMARIN MELLIRN of MIDDLE WAY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 594): PETE MOSS of FUNKY FOLK (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 297): TROOPER TED of THE PENTARCHY (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
              (turn 296): XANAX of THE PENTARCHY (Le Pentarque, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 587): MOSSMAN of CROCS (THawk, mgr.)
              (turn 586): TURTLE of ESCAPADE (Scion, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 582): LARRY of LUROCIAN GUARD (The Greek Guy, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 571): UGLY GENTLEMAN of PHILANTHROPISTS (Aragorn, mgr.)
 DM  47 DOUBLE X (turn 265): BARBARINO of SECOND BANANAS (Mannequin, mgr.)
                             JACK & JILL of ROYAL FLUSH (Crip, mgr.)
                             RHIANNON of GAELIC STORM (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 252): TRASH CAN of OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 461): TYI VELWIC of INCONSISTENT FURY (Banthius, mgr.)
 DM  60 COLLUSION COVE (turn 448): I OWN INDIMAR of 4000 BLOWS (Nuln, mgr)
 DM  65 DAL SHANG (turn 425): BETTER DUCK of MIGHTY DUCKS (Woody, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Lords and Ladies of Arvat, I, Mad Max salute you.  I decided it would be wisest that
I be the one who addresses you all for your Duelmaster, Cannibalistic Cow.  While
C.C. is a nice enough bovine, especially when fed, I decided the look of her all
covered in various animals' blood wouldn't be the best thing for all of the little
Arvat school children out there to see.  I did give her the hides of a few of her
favorite (nameless) beasts to gnaw on as a reward for claiming the title.

C.C. started off her career on the wrong foot.  Not only was she 0-3 after her first
three fights but she is also -4 in multiple areas.  Regardless of this fact she
actually looked really good in her first few fights.  Granted she was 0-3 but she
easily could have been 2-1.  Her first victory in the arena was also her first kill
as well.  That was my fault as I just couldn't keep her from leaping on her fallen
opponent and ripping open his jugular.  It was quite the sight.

Since her 0-3 start C.C. has gone 14-6-3 which is a much more impressive record.
This past turn C.C. squared off to fight with the venerable and popular Anguish.
C.C. never allowed for Anguish to get any momentum as she pushed the pace and just
kept on Anguish and pepped him with LO crits until the Arenamaster stopped the fight.
This was bittersweet as Anguish is run by the Dark One and it is with much help from
the Dark One's mystical formulas that C.C. is even a warrior.  She likely would be
grazing in the fields without that.  With that said, the Dark One, if Anguish would
like another shot feel free to come after her.  C.C. will not avoid him.

C.C. is also the first member of the Barn of Horrors guild to claim the title of
Duelmaster here in Arvat.  Headless Chicken is immortal and retired in Free Blades
but she never was Duelmaster here.  Only the Chartered Recognition Leader.  C.C. is
actually the first Duelmaster of the triumvirate of teams that I run in here since
Silver Train of Saratoga Glory held it on turn 545.  That is almost 40 turns or 2
years.  I will NOT wait that long again.

This turn's challenges will go to Lucius of Roman Heroes and Lara or Layla of
Lurocian Guard a warrior which C.C. has never fought.  C.C. will not avoid anyone and
will take on all comers.  I must note that according to my records since the Trainer
and I started back in Arvat on Turn 459 only Servius of Caesar's Thugs has held the
throne for Caesar and only for one turn.  Granted Caesar hasn't been extremely active
often but that shows just how far Rome has fallen.

That's all for this turn, hopefully, we will be back here next turn.  Until then.

Mad Max for your Duelmaster,

Cannibalistic Cow

                                      SPY REPORT

     Much has changed in ARVAT since last I was here.  Never fear, Olaf Modeen adapts 
to many situations, as do all successful fighters.  Phhbltt!  Too much drinking and 
too little dodging gave LUROCIAN GUARD a 0-0-0!  I got a good laugh out of it!  Up 'n 
down.  Up 'n down.  Rankings always change.  Up 'n down.  I think I'm gonna be...  
Well, WAX HOSTILE's 5th moved them up to 2-3-0 place.  Some people say I ramble too 
much, I don't say anything relevant.  I repeat myself.  I ramble.  Well ROMAN HEROES 
moved up 2, to 2nd.  What's with WAR EAGLE?  He actually beat ROMAN HEROES' LUCIUS, 
and walked away with 26 more points from the fight.  Major screwup at ROMAN HEROES.  
LUCIUS lost 21 points to WAR EAGLE.  Some new strategies, perhaps?  Maybe LUCIUS will 
provide more easy wins...  Try as he might, ANGUISH wasn't good enough at persuading 
CANNIBALISTIC COW to step down from the Duelmaster's throne...  I suppose you want to 
hear some rumors and dirty gossip about your fellow fighters?  Tough!   
     If at first you don't succeed, avoid.  That'll get you in the Spyreports.  ARVAT 
thinks DEVIL ADVOCATES and their 1042-622-54 is too much!  If at first you don't 
succeed, give up...  Management must be dealin', as the boys at ROMAN HEROES ain't 
reelin'!  DEVIL ADVOCATES' mad!  How well I know the feeling of being the most 
challenged warrior, BEEZER BAPPER!  Don't make idle boasts, they may come back to 
haunt you.  Taunt your opponent DELTA 88!  That was my lucky charm when I was 
unfairly challenged.  (and by 21 points!)  TACITUS should have an easy win.  TACITUS' 
gonna be practicin' hard this week, after DELTA 88, lower ranked by far, mashed him!  
     There have been some calls to lengthen the time limit.  Do you want the fighters 
to walk away, or not?  Here's some advice:  study your opponent, master many skills, 
fight dirty.   
     Many other cities have retirement homes for aged warriors.  Any plans here?  All 
work and no play makes Olaf a dull fighter.  Work and play no fighter dull Olaf.  
Olaffighterwork and no play.  Time for my medication, so I'll leave now.  Practice, 
practice, practice!-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CANNIBALISTIC COW 4617       15   9  3   131       BARN OF HORRORS (358)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TED D. SEAVER 4824           17   1  2   127       DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)
 WAR EAGLE 4767                9   4  0   106       SARATOGA GLORY (352)
 MYSTIC MIRAGE 4635           11   8  1   100       SARATOGA GLORY (352)
 ANGUISH 4466                 25  22  1    98       ANGELS OF PAIN (360)
-UNDEAD DUCK 4612              6   2  0    95       BARN OF HORRORS (358)
-LARA 4394                    24  16  0    92       LUROCIAN GUARD (378)
-LAYLA 4594                   19   9  1    92       LUROCIAN GUARD (378)
-BURLY REIVER 4357             7   1  0    91       GEMSTONE BEASTS (362)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-RONALTO VON RON 4739         11   4  0    88       LUROCIAN GUARD (378)
 LUCIUS 4620                  16   6  0    81       ROMAN HEROES (73)
 EASTER GUARDIAN 4706          7   3  0    70       SARATOGA GLORY (352)
-MARCELLUS 4659                6   4  0    70       THE REPUBLIC (380)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MOUNTAIN GENERAL 4634        16   4  1    66       SARATOGA GLORY (352)
-SPURIUS 4545                  8   7  2    66       CAESAR'S THUGS (379)
-ARTEMIDORUS IV 4663          15   3  2    65       ROMAN HEROES (73)
 LUCRETIUS 4687               11   6  2    65       ROMAN HEROES (73)
 DEE T. EMTER 4860             6   4  0    65       DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)
 SNOWFLAKE 4689               14   9  1    64       RILL'S GCSC2 (370)
 GREATER VRULL 4375            7   9  0    58       GEMSTONE BEASTS (362)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MARCUS 4850                  10   3  1    53       ROMAN HEROES (73)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MARA ACOMA 4924               6   4  0    52       HOUSE OF JADE (414)
 ARTEMIDORUS V 4686           12   5  0    51       ROMAN HEROES (73)
-HUNCHBACK GROWLER 4313        2   4  0    44       BEHIND THE BUSHES (369)
 LOU C. FIRR 4853              7   7  0    42       DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)
 BAAAD BOB 4681                4   6  0    37       WAX HOSTILE (399)
 GEMINI 4908                   8   5  0    36       ORDER (413)
-ROGER THE BRAVE 4787          5   3  0    36       LUROCIAN GUARD (378)
 THE SCOUSER 4858              7   3  0    34       SARATOGA GLORY (352)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SQUATTING 4325                3   0  0    27       BEHIND THE BUSHES (369)
-GATHERING LEAVES 4324         3   0  0    26       BEHIND THE BUSHES (369)
 AWE 4861                      3   7  0    24       ANGELS OF PAIN (360)
 DELTA 88 4911                 1   2  0    24       ORDER (413)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ANDRONICUS 4660               5   5  0    22       THE REPUBLIC (380)
-PUSHING PRARIE DOGS 4310      3   1  0    22       BEHIND THE BUSHES (369)
 ANDWISE ROPER 4937            2   0  0    20       FOR THE SHIRE (359)
-PITT 4917                     2   1  0    19       HOUSE OF JADE (414)
 BRUTUS 4951                   2   0  0    19       THE REPUBLIC (380)
 ARTEMIDORUS VII 4952          2   0  1    18       CAESAR'S THUGS (379)
 FARAMIR TOOK 4934             2   1  0    18       FOR THE SHIRE (359)
 THE INVISIBLE PIG 4886        3   4  0    14       BARN OF HORRORS (358)
-TOBIAS 4919                   2   2  0    12       HOUSE OF JADE (414)
 COW LICHE 4901                3   2  0    11       BARN OF HORRORS (358)
 HAVOK 4900                    2   3  2    11       ANGELS OF PAIN (360)
-PASSING TIME 4323             2   2  1    11       BEHIND THE BUSHES (369)
 N.Q. BUSS 4946                1   1  0     8       DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)
 BRAVE DAVE 4964               1   0  0     6       WAX HOSTILE (399)
 TACITUS 4930                  1   1  0     4       CAESAR'S THUGS (379)
 SILLY MILLY 4948              1   1  0     4       WAX HOSTILE (399)
-MIKE JONES 4942               0   1  0     2       ORDER (413)
 ESTHER ROTHE 4962             0   1  0     1       DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
FODDER 4965             0  1 0 BARN OF HORRORS 358  BLACK ORC             584  NONE
DEAD COOLIE 4958        0  1 0 CAESAR'S THUGS 379   ARENAMISTRESS SU      584  NONE
THE IRON COOLIE 4959    0  1 0 CAESAR'S THUGS 379   HIGH ELF              584  NONE
BINGO CHUBB 4967        0  1 0 FOR THE SHIRE 359    BANDIT PRINCE         584  NONE
WILL WHITFOOT 4955      0  2 0 FOR THE SHIRE 359    ARTEMIDORUS VII 4952  584   
MARDUC 4916             1  2 1 HOUSE OF JADE 414    HAVOK 4900            582   
PRINGLES 4084           0  2 0 MUNCHIES 349         HAVOK 4900            581   
SIZE 14 COOLIE 4960     0  1 0 THE REPUBLIC 380     STONE GOLEM           584  NONE
BEEZER BAPPER 4949      0  2 0 WAX HOSTILE 399      SPYMASTER             584  NONE
MAIM 'N MAMIE 4893      1  4 0 WAX HOSTILE 399      BLACK ORC             584  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Lou & Havok -- Better luck next time! -- Fighting Artemidori!

Scouser -- Couldn't scum your way out of dat one, eh?  Tempt Not My Large Shield! --
Artie V of The Fighting Artemidori

Easter Guardian  -- Sorry chump. Raise your wit twice and you will learn better. --
Fighting Artemidori

Mad Max -- I'm sending some Thugs over to "negotiate" with the Coolie Union. And
please, spare us the "Coolies of the World Unite" speech. -- Caesar

Hunchback Growler -- Dude, you really need to get more fiber in your diet.  Good
fight though.  I am sure we'll meet again. -- Mountain General

Greater Vrull -- I wanted to see if my first win over you was just a fluke but it
appears not.  Thanks for the fight and just think.  Our fight was the only Challenge
in the entire arena.  That should count for something. -- Mystic Mirage

Marcus -- I'd much rather fight someone like yourself instead of your Artemidori
cousins.  That was fun.  Thanks. -- Easter Guardian

Lucius -- I thought I threw dodge in there.  Oh well.  Good job.  My butt was
seriously kicked.  Give me a few more turns and we'll see if I can turn the tables.
-- War Eagle

Artemodorus V -- I just forgot to continue to attack.  Oh well.  It was a good fight,
well not really but at least it was a fight. -- The Scouser

The Greek Guy -- One down, two more to go.  Congrats on Larry's invite. -- the

Behind the Bushes -- Welcome back to Arvat.  We hope you stick around a little. --
the Trainer

Anguish -- Cannibalistic Cow is too busy gnawing on his hide of beef to Drool all
over you.  We told him he could have anything he wanted and that was what he chose.
I just thought you'd like to know.  We'll see you on the sands. -- Mad Max

Maim 'N Mamie -- It was nice to get a rematch and prove that my first fight just
wasn't my best effort.  Anytime you want a rematch, just let me know. -- The
Invisible Pig

Tacitus -- Ouch!  That hurt.  Stay far, far away. -- Cow Liche

Fodder was 11-10-18-11-17-10-7 SL.  He will not be missed. -- Mad Max

Behind the Bushes -- Welcome. -- Mad Max

N.Q. Buss -- What was up with that move?!  I was pounding away on you and the next
thing I know, I'm eating sand.  You'll have to teach me that. -- Faramir Took

Silly Milly -- Sigh!  Oh well, it's a start I guess. -- Will Whitfoot

Rillion -- Where are you at? -- Mad Max

C. Cow -- (As opposed to Sea Cow) Dang!!!  I was one win away from retirement and a
life of ease.  Ah!  The anguish of it all! -- Anguish

Faramir Took -- Like that desperation strategy? -- N. Q. Buss

Lucretius -- I FINALLY beat one of you guys and what do I get?  Catapulted into the
Champions class....  At least the skills were sweet. -- Dee T. Empter

Fighting Artemidorii -- You know what we need?  We need a lot of aimed blows on our
team. -- the Devil Advocates

Rumor of the Week -- Mad Max has been fined 100 gold coins for sending our false
Rumors of the Week!!!

The Invisible Pig -- Saw you and felt you, and that's all she (me) wrote. -- Maim'n

Artemidorus VI -- This cycle constitutes my 10th fight.  Some managers set store by
such auspicious occasions. -- Baaad "the Bobbiest" Bob

Will Whitfoot -- Sha-zam!!!  And ain't I the goofy one?  I'm satisfied, hope you
liked what you got. -- S. Milly

Anguish -- We really feel your pain.  HAR HAR HAR!!! -- W.H.

All -- Lot o scum in this arena.  Roll-up Gods hear my plea. -- Scion

9 August 2008
All -- We are currently looking for capable manager that will give the Desolate
Empire Alliance a full roster for the Turf War.  We currently have four (4) roster
slots that are open to capable managers without questionable morals.  If interested
for the Turf War, contact:  Lamar Treas-Wilson, Dok Sik, Dok Sik Killas DM 47

8 July 2008
                                 *TURF WAR VI RULES*
                            Starting Nov 2008 (10 turns)

Anyone may participate; known alliances, new alliances, or temporary alliances created solely to compete in the Turf War!  To participate, each alliance must:
        1.  Announce the alliance and the Captain of the alliance in the North Fork
            (DM 47) newsletter.
        2.  Announcements made on the D2 Forums will not be accepted.

Captains are responsible for:
        1.  Verifying those who wish to participate under the banner of their
        2.  Distribution of prizes should their alliance win the Turf War.
        3.  Submit one (1) RSI Roll-Up Certificate to participate

Participating managers who are not Captains must:
        1.  Submit one (1) RSI Roll-Up Certificate to participate
        2.  Announce their intent to compete with manager name, team name, and
            alliance they will represent in the North Fork (DM 47) newsletter.
            Announcement made on the D2 Forums will not be accepted.
               a.  No scores will be tabulated until a Gift Certificate is received.
                   No EXCEPTIONS.
               b.  Before a manager can compete, he/she must declare themselves in
                   the North Fork (DM 47) newsletter as stated above AND be verified
                   by the alliance Captain they will represent.
               c.  Only one (1) team per player may compete.  No multiple teams or
                   aliases will be allowed.  Violations will result in immediate
                   disqualification from the Turf War (so be sure to take any
                   multiple teams OFF of Team Maintenance).
               d.  Scoring will NOT be retroactive for teams that do not properly
                   declare or fail to send a Gift Certificate by Turn 1.  In other
                   words, if your Gift Certificate is not received until Turn 3 of
                   the Turf War, and you have fought on Turns 1 and 2, your scoring
                   will not begin until Turn 3.  All conditions must be met before
                   scoring will begin--declaration, verification, and Gift
                   Certificate received.
               e.  No declarations or verifications will be accepted after Turn 5 of
                   the Turf War.
               f.  For purposes of scoring, the moderators will score the Turf War
                   and settle any and all disputes as they arise.  Their decisions
                   will be final.

Scoring will be as follows for Fights:
                Win   Loss   Kill      Die
Challenge        +2     -2     +5       -5
Match Up         +1     -1     +1       -5
Bloodfeud        +2     -5     +5      -10
Champion         x2     x2     x2       x2
Dark Arena*     +10     -5     xx       xx
*After 2nd win, warrior scores no points for wins

Special Scoring Considerations for the Turf War are as follows:
Spy Report mention (team name only)              +2
Style Master                                     +2
Duelmaster                                       +2

     1.  A Champion may be declared, but one is not mandatory.
     2.  Only one Champion allowed per manager at any given time.
     3.  Champions that graduate or are killed by another warrior in the arena, but
         not the Dark Arena, may be replaced.
     4.  Champions must be in the Adepts bracket or lower on the turn they are
         declared, and may NOT have gone above Adepts level at any time; this
         includes teams transferred into North Fork for the Turf War.

        1.  Bloodfeuds will score points on all four (4) turns.
        2.  There is no limit to which warrior may bloodfeud or how often.

Tournament Considerations:
        1.  Tournament participation is ALLOWED and encouraged.
        2.  Tournament Victors won during the course of the contest will gain a one
            (1) time bonus of 25 points.  This bonus will apply EACH time a
            warrior(s) wins such status.
        3.  Tournament Champions won during the course of the contest will gain a one
            (1) time bonus of 50 points.  This bonus will apply EACH time a
            warrior(s) win such status.
        4.  Points for TVs and TCs will be applied the Turn after RSI posts
            tournament results in the North Fork (DM 47) newsletter (i.e., if the
            results post on North Fork turn 275, points will be credited on North
            Fork turn 276 to the applicable teams).

Special Considerations:
        1.  Each alliance begins the Turf War with zero (0) points.
        2.  There will be NO alliance or team changes once the contest has begun.  If
            you begin the Turf War with Alliance A, you must end the Turf War with
            Alliance A.  If you begin the Turf War with Team A, you must end the Turf
            War with Team A.
        3.  There will be a maximum of seven (7) teams allowed per alliance for the
            Turf War.
        4.  The Dark Arena may be used on the first turn only, of every warrior,
            without penalty.

The Turf War is a "winner take all" contest.  All prizes and 100% of the Gift
Certificates will be awarded to the Captain of the winning alliance.  It is the

responsibility of the Captain to distribute Gift Certificates.  Moderators will
submit a list of each manager on the winning alliance to RSI at the completion of the
contest for the non-Certificate prizes.

The following prizes have been secured from RSI:
        1.  Renaming of the North Fork (DM 47) arena;
        2.  Renaming of Dark Arena Monsters (one for each manager in the winning
        3.  Known Favorites for one warrior on each team of the winning alliance
            (warrior must be ranked Initiate or above, must be alive, and must have
            at least one arena fight to receive this award).
        4.  +1 Skill bonus potion for each manager on the winning alliance.  Bonus
            potion must be applied to a living warrior from (DM 47)
        5.  +1 Skill bonus potion (one) for each manager who fights in all 10 rounds
            AND 45 fights of the Turf War.  Bonus potion must be applied to a living
            warrior from (DM 47)
These awards will be listed by the Moderator for claiming from RSI (Lee) within 4
turns of the end of TW VI.

The Moderators for this event will be Oz and Master Darque.  They will arbitrate all
dealings during the course of the contest.  Their decisions will be final.  All
questions, comments, and scoring disputes may be directed to Land of Oz or Darque
Forces via diplo in DM 47.  Managers with internet access may send a private message
to [The Consortium] or [Darque] on the Duel2 Forums.  Lastly, you may also email
questions, comments, and scoring disputes to rebelnerfherder at yahoo dot com.

Please note there have been rule changes from the last Turf War.  Please read them

Contest will begin in November following the Fall Mail In Tournament.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

ARTEMIDORUS VI was butchered by ARENAMISTRESS SUGAR in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
MAIM 'N MAMIE was slaughtered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
BEEZER BAPPER was easily killed by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
BINGO CHUBB was assassinated by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
THE IRON COOLIE was butchered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena contest.
DEAD COOLIE was assassinated by ARENAMISTRESS SUGAR in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
FODDER was dealt death by BLACK ORC in a 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
SIZE 14 COOLIE was slain by STONE GOLEM in a 3 minute Dark Arena struggle.
THE INVISIBLE PIG was overpowered by BAAAD BOB in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
TACITUS was overpowered by DELTA 88 in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
FARAMIR TOOK vanquished SILLY MILLY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
CANNIBALISTIC COW overpowered ANGUISH in a popular 1 minute uneven Title duel.
MYSTIC MIRAGE overpowered DEE T. EMTER in a 1 minute uneven match.
LUCIUS was overpowered by WAR EAGLE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
EASTER GUARDIAN demolished GEMINI in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
SNOWFLAKE was outwaited by MOUNTAIN GENERAL in a exciting 9 minute bloody battle.
GREATER VRULL was beaten by LUCRETIUS in a popular 4 minute master's conflict.
ARTEMIDORUS V unbelievably bested THE SCOUSER in a unpopular 18 minute gruesome bout.
MARCUS overcame LOU C. FIRR in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bout.
AWE bested COW LICHE in a exciting 1 minute veteran vs. novice brawl.
ANDWISE ROPER beat HAVOK in a popular 2 minute novice's bout.
N.Q. BUSS was overcome by BRUTUS in a popular 1 minute amateur's competition.
ARTEMIDORUS VII narrowly killed WILL WHITFOOT in a 3 minute gory novice's duel.
BRAVE DAVE overcame ESTHER ROTHE in a 2 minute beginner's duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  14         TOTAL PARRY       46 -  36 -  2      56  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      8         AIMED BLOW        20 -  17 -  0      54  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         STRIKING ATTACK   37 -  37 -  1      50  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     12 -  13 -  0      48  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         LUNGING ATTACK    64 -  76 -  3      46  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         WALL OF STEEL     10 -  16 -  3      38  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   1         SLASHING ATTACK   20 -  32 -  1      38  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         BASHING ATTACK     9 -  20 -  1      31  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-LUNGE        4 -  11 -  1      27  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  10 -  0       0  |

Turn 584 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

BASHING ATTACK     1 -  0     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  6         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  1     AIMED BLOW         0 -  3         4  STRIKING ATTACK
LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  7     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         1  TOTAL PARRY    
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  4     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         1  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       LUCIUS 4620                16   6  0   81 ROMAN HEROES (73)
TOTAL PARRY      MOUNTAIN GENERAL 4634      16   4  1   66 SARATOGA GLORY (352)
SLASHING ATTACK  DEE T. EMTER 4860           6   4  0   65 DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is ANGUISH 4466.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SNOWFLAKE 4689.  The ten other most popular fighters were GREATER VRULL 4375, 

The least popular fighter this week was ARTEMIDORUS V 4686.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were THE SCOUSER 4858, MOUNTAIN GENERAL 4634, HAVOK 4900, COW LICHE 
4901, GEMINI 4908, LUCIUS 4620, DEE T. EMTER 4860, SILLY MILLY 4948, TACITUS 4930, 

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

ANGUISH (32-4466) ANGELS OF PAIN (360)


     The summer tourney brought a lot of people to the Isle who didn't appear there 
normally.  This included Commission employees.  Half a dozen arenamasters regarded 
each other warily in the mirror behind the bar at the Pig in a Haystack.  The Pig was 
obscure and mediocre, drawing few gladiators, which is what they had all been looking 
for.  They saw gladiators every day.  Most arenamaster were convinced that this was 
some kind of punishment.
     You could always pick out the arenamasters in a crowd.  There were superficial 
differences:  One of these had clearly Adantri features, one wore an eye-patch, two 
were female.  But there were, in significant ways, alike.  The same size, the same 
hair-trigger alertness, the same deadliness.
     The one-eyed man broke the ice, raising his beer mug in salute.  "I'm Zrof One-
Eye from Zukal.  Sugar of Arvat--"  One of the women bowed slightly.  "I know Sugar.  
The rest of you...?"
     The Adantri matched his salute.  "Dernal of Dayla Kiv."
     "Daiyla Kiv?  Ah...."
     "No, without the 'I' in it.  These damned bureaucrats can't spell, and they 
thought adding an unnecessary vowel was exotic."  Disgust dripped from his voice.
     "Tell me about it!" another man growled in agreement.  "Khagal of Niatoli, and 
what they do to the spelling of THAT simple word--!"
     "I thought Daiyla, I mean Dayla Kiv had a different name right now," 
Arenamistress Sugar said.  "The arena, at least, because of a contest?"
     "Chavez Ravine."  Dernal's tone was the one that substituted in polite company 
for spitting on the floor.
     Zrof blinked, taken aback by the bitterness.  He wouldn't have minded a contest 
in Zukal, and damn what they called the place.  "It's only temporary, though."
     "Temporary, shmiperary," another man muttered.  He seemed well into his drinking, 
although, like all arenamasters, he carried his liquor well.  "They do it all the time 
in Aradi.  No reshpect.  Go around changing thish, changing that.  I wish I could 
change shome thingsh."  He signalled the bartender for a refill.
     The second woman put her hand over his mug.  "You've had enough, Harkon.  Try the 
coffee, instead."
     "You should be mad, too, Ripplesh," Harkon said.  "They're going to do shtuff 
like that in Jahnsh, aren't they?"
     Ripples Dorrigan shrugged.  All the men paused, some with glasses half raised, to 
watch.  "It's the way things are," she said.  "Not much we can do about it."
     "You know," Khagal of Niatoli said, "maybe we could make a few changes.  Fix the 
spelling of Arena 33, for one, change a few standby titles--"
     "The Commission hates changes."  Dernal of Dayla Kiv topped up his glass and 
drained it gloomily.
     "Yes, but if we disguise it," Sugar of Arvat said, excited, "make it... maybe a 
general Name-Change-O-Rama!  Then we could slip OUR changes through and no one would 
notice or mind."


     By popular demand, we are holding a Name-Change-o-Rama during the month of 
September, 2008.  If you wish to change the name of your warriors or teams, please 
contact RSI Customer Service.  The charge for a name change is $1.