DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 11/19/2014    Duedate: 12/02/2014

ARVAT ARENA

DM-32    TURN-746

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

DEVLIN DE TALIS
DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)
(32-5913) [19-9-1,126]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

DEVLIN DE TALIS                THE KING
DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)          IT'S GOOD TO BE... (470)
(32-5913) [19-9-1,126]         (32-5968) [2-6-0,41]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

GROUND CHUCK                   SKINNY PETE
THE WALKING DEAD (439)         OTTOMAN EMPIRE (456)
(32-5776) [21-24-1,115]        (32-5951) [10-5-1,89]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)       39
2. CON + INSULT (479)          29      DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)
3. STRAGETY, DAMMIT! (477)     26      Unchartered Team
4. THE DELIRIUM RULES (472)    24
5. THE WALKING DEAD (439)      24      LAW OF TWO'S (483)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)    %1521 878 72 63.4   1/ 1 DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)    11  3 0
 2- 2 ERRATA (387)              42  27  2 60.9   2/ 2 SECRET SQUIRRELS (433)   11  4 0
 3/ 3 ANGELS OF PAIN (360)     447 306 34 59.4   3/ 5 OTTOMAN EMPIRE (456)      6  2 0
 4- 4*GASTROPUB (480)           13   9  0 59.1   4/ 7 THE WALKING DEAD (439)    6  7 0
 5/ 5 NOTORIOUS (71)           425 370 15 53.5   5/ 4 OLD GEEZERS (473)         6  9 0
 6/ 6 OTTOMAN EMPIRE (456)      98  93  3 51.3   6/ 6 STRAGETY, DAMMIT! (477)   5  7 0
 7/ 0*LAW OF TWO'S (483)         1   1  1 50.0   7- 3*GASTROPUB (480)           4  6 0
 8/ 8 STRAGETY, DAMMIT! (477)  113 120  2 48.5   8/12*YOUNG STUDS (476)         4 11 0
 9/ 9 SECRET SQUIRRELS (433)   212 228 10 48.2   9- 8 DEATH BY DESIGN (264)     3  2 0
10/ 0 THE DELIRIUM RULES (472)  21  24  2 46.7  10/10*THE CLASSICS (482)        3  5 0
11/10 B.I.G. (437)              85 104  6 45.0  11/ 0 THE DELIRIUM RULES (472)  2  1 0
12/12 THE WALKING DEAD (439)   163 219 12 42.7  12/ 0*CON + INSULT (479)        2  3 0
13-11 DEATH BY DESIGN (264)    142 192 13 42.5  13/14 NOTORIOUS (71)            2  5 0
14/13 OLD GEEZERS (473)         35  49  0 41.7  14/ 9 ANGELS OF PAIN (360)      2  5 0
15/ 0*CON + INSULT (479)         2   3  0 40.0  15/11 B.I.G. (437)              2  6 0
16-14 THE MENTORS RIDE (466)    12  20  1 37.5  16-13 THE MENTORS RIDE (466)    1  0 0
17/ 7*THE CLASSICS (482)         3   5  0 37.5  17/ 0*LAW OF TWO'S (483)        1  1 1
18/16*IT'S GOOD TO BE... (470)   2   7  0 22.2  18/16*IT'S GOOD TO BE... (470)  1  3 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/15*YOUNG STUDS (476)          8  37  0 17.8  19-15 ERRATA (387)              1  6 0
20/ 0*BLACK COLOSSUS (474)       0   1  0  0.0  20/ 0*BLACK COLOSSUS (474)      0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     "What is it, Vlad?  I've never seen you look so uncomfortable.  Well, except
during those first arena fights," The Donald added as an afterthought and chuckled.
"That was success, Vlad!  Sued the commission, got the losses dropped and put you
aright.  You know, I've always said, most people think small because they are afraid
of success.  Afraid of winning!"  Trump leaned forward, placed his elbows on the
office desk and looked at me expectantly.  After a moment, he picked up something
light and bubbly in a fine glass.  I thought I saw an olive.
     I was sitting in one of his chairs that was a little more comfortable, and thus
harder to get out of, than was my wont.  Of course, I could trust The Donald.  I
mean, well, I thought I could.  I stared off into space while chewing at my thumb,
trying to figure out how best to convey my current need.  A glass of something with a
sweetness that was uncalled for by the situation sat untouched at my elbow.  I mulled
phrases over for a few seconds and snorted.  Perhaps I was in a mood but I just
didn't feel like prevaricating.
     "I need to launder some money from my illegal businesses, Trump."
     Donald, who apparently had swallowed an olive, coughed violently and spewed
tonic all over the desk.  He wheezed, his eyes bulging and then began repeatedly
banging on a bell well-situated on his desk.  Mawra rushed in from nowhere and
started pounding him on the back until, a few moments later, an un-pitted olive
landed in my lap and Trump drew a tortured breath.
     "Tahps!" he coughed looking meaningfully at Mawra while drawing a pantomime
finger across his neck.  I wondered if she had done something wrong.  Apparently she
did as well, if her pale complexion was any indication.
     "Sir?" she replied nervously.  Given the situation, she was holding up quite
well overall.  She wore the remainder of Trump's gin and tonic as if it were made for
her alone.
     "Apes!" he insisted, now pointing over at the bookcase with one hand and, again,
dragging another hand across his neck.  What the hell?
     Mawra gallantly ran over to the bookcase and looked desperately at him for more
instruction.  This was beginning to resemble those contests where hunters compete to
see who has trained their dog the best by remotely giving the bitch various hand
signals for her to move left, right, forward, back and finally to retrieve the
hidden...
     Oh.  Looking over my shoulder at Mawra, I realized how apropos the analogy was.
     I stood and walked over to the bookshelf.  It was made of mahogany and contained
the leather-bound artifacts you might expect, most of which I either couldn't read
the titles or didn't understand the words that I could read.  I believe there were a
few there intended to tempt those with roaming fingers or at least poor memories
about having borrowed books.  I was pretty sure the one I recognized and pocketed as
I bent down in front of the bookshelves did not quality.  Opening the second drawer
on the right and reaching up and into the cavity I found, and flipped, a switch and
then drew out a tape, pocketing that as well.  One never knew.
     Trump wheezed something that conveyed relief.  Mawra looked at me, realization
dawning in her eyes.
     "He wanted you to cut off the tapes," I confirmed, turning to face The Donald.
"Really, Trump?  Recording our discussion.  I'm hurt."
     While he was red-faced, I felt strongly that it had nothing to do with anything
resembling embarrassment.
     "Vlad, how was I to know you were going to start spouting off about illeg--" he
stopped, and looked meaningfully at Mowra.  Taking this cue a little better than the
last few, she disappeared, closing the office door behind her.  "About blatantly ah,
unreputable, activities?  I'm doing a book, you see, and my publicist suggested I
record my day-to-day for posterity."
     I smiled and sat back down, depositing the olive in a nearby receptacle on the
way.
     "I've always said, Vlad," he continued, "you need to watch, listen and learn.
You can't know it all yourself!  So I started recording the people I admire with whom
I meet!"
     "You, sir, are too kind.  So back to my, well, business need.  Do you have any
ideas?  You know this area, better than I by far."  I was deliberately vague because,
well, my statement was true pretty much whatever you plugged in for 'area'.  Besides,
he probably had a backup recording system.
     "Vlad, I like you.  I've always said: the point is that you can't be too greedy.
I'm certain I can help.  Does this have to do with the House Jhereg businesses
engaged in Murska that we've collaborated on in the past?  Untaxed gambling, loans at
illegal rates, selling of stolen goods, brothels and the like?"
     Maybe he didn't have a backup.  I nodded just to be safe.
     "It's settled then!  I have just the idea.  You see, I've been looking to expand
my presence in Arvat.  And there is nothing, but nothing, that generates more legal
cash flow than a company full of consultants."
     "What is a consultant?"
     "Think of it as someone who cons and insults you at the same time.  They listen
to your problems, suggest a solution, take your money to implement a solution, all
while prolonging the problem long enough to warrant their involvement," he said.
"And their fee," he added sourly.  Then he brightened, "and the best part is that
they use words that no one else in their right mind would use.  They just make up
words to describe your problem."
     "Speaking of my problem, how will this help me?"
     "Think about it, Vlad!  You 'hire' them to consult with your warriors about why
they are failing in the arena."
     I stiffened.  It's perfectly fine for ME to say my warriors are failing in the
arena but I don't need someone else telling me that.  Perhaps Trump sensed that or
perhaps he saw more silence to fill.
     "House Jhereg hires the consulting company in Arvat and pays them exorbitant
fees for dueling strategies.  House Jhereg pays those fees, which then roll up into
the pre-tax earnings of my S corp, hitting the top line where I then execute a series
of tax-advantaged strategies designed to..."
     Trump rattled on for several minutes.  I occasionally understood a word here and
there and, in the end, I think I got enough of the concept.  Yeah, it should work,
except there was one item....
     "Does the conning and insulting have to relate to dueling?"
     "No, Vlad, that's the beauty.  They can consult on anything.  Then, after one
engagement in a new area, they can hold themselves out as experts on that topic.
It's flawless!"  Trump was leaning forward again, drink in hand.  Somehow, in the
excitement, I had missed his drink being refilled.  Looking down, I noticed mine had
been replace with a red that smelled wonderful.  I resolved to keep a better eye on
Mawra.
     Raising my glass, I saluted The Donald.  "So, you need me to go to Arvat and
establish a group of warriors that con and insult people?"
     "Consult, Vlad.  But, yes."
     "I can do that.  Do you care what we call the business?"
     "Not in the least, I can assure you.  Here, let me provide you some buzzwords
that will, if you will, create some buzz there in Arvat."
     I walked out of Trump Sunset Towers with a scrap of paper in my hand, a book on
witchcraft in my pocket, cabernet on my breath and possibilities on my mind.  This
should be good.  I needed to get back to Murska to enlist help with getting this
"JV", as Trump called it, off the ground.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     "So this is what you must do," says the very tall human, "is find shelter in the
old stable over there," the mysterious human points to an old vacant stable.  "You're
to find and get well acquainted with each weapon and begin practice immediately!"
     The other two individuals, what appears to be a humanoid canine figure bearing a
dork hooded cloak to attempt to stay dry from the constant rain, and a hulking golem
of a figure, also wrapped in a similar cloak listen intently to the human.
     "What is your name?" askes the canine also known as Lord Bane.  "He won't tell
us," says Grievous eyeing the human with tactical precision.  "He just expects us to
follow the simple order of moving to the stable, getting good, and showing these
imbeciles what we're about;" says Greievous.  "So I say let's do it."
     "What will we be called," asks Bane, "for it looks like other stables have teams
of five."
     "Well, you will be called by the CODE you are bound to and honor, Law of Twos,"
says the human wiping rain drops from his face.  "No need for five, you two get good,
and in 6 months time, I'll have you two show the world your skills."
     "Law of Twos it is," says Bane, eyeing General Grievous.
     The two heavily cloaked figures walk off through the slashing rain to their new
stable.
     "Just like old times," whispers the tall human.  "We'll see how they adapt to
this style of confrontation."
     Then the tall human is seen no more...

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Devlin DeTalis sat silently in the dark, watching the evening fights in the
Arvat arena and scouting the talent.  There were several warriors which caught his
eye and impressed him.  Quickly he jotted down notes on each combatant and added them
to his already impressively thick notebook.
     His name had been chosen for a reason.  He was highly detail oriented,
preferring to study and plan for each fight.  To him every fight was won or lost
before the battle even took place.  Luck and skill played their roles, but
preparation was the key.
     Satisfied that he had seen all of the fights which could possibly affect him, he
rose and slipped back to his quarters.  There were a large number of Challenger
Champions in the arena at the moment.  Too many where he could avoid all the real
dangers and cherry pick his opponent for the next turn.  Instead he needed to prepare
an overall battle plan or his time on the Duelmaster's throne would be short indeed.
     Aka was the first contender.  A basher, that made him unpredictable.  He would
very likely post a challenge and despite the fact Devlin had defeated him before, he
was uncertain as to that outcome.  If he were to fight Aka, he would want it to be on
his own challenge or as a random matchup.  Post avoid one of two on the Secret
Squirrels.
     Second contender was Ground Chuck.  He had a lot of fights.  That was bad news.
Experience brought skill and even though Chuck was not incredible talented, he had
seen a lot and could be dangerous.  Still, it was uncertain if his manager would post
a challenge.  Devlin resolved to prepare a strategy that would work against Chuck and
not avoid him.  It was a risk, but a calculated one.
     Third contender was Little Dragon.  An aimed blow and a horrible matchup.  Plus
his manager seemed very aggressive.  Avoid number two.
     Fourth contender was Maid in a Lab, followed by number five, Sleuthy Lu.  They
were also on the Squirrels and so were avoided, but Devlin had had several good
fights against Lu, and resolved to make her one of his challenges.  Not a sure win,
but a good style matchup and the prior history indicated a reasonable chance of a
win.
     Next up in the sixth and seventh slots were tourney warriors.  Of the Errata
team.  Coffee, a lunger, and Item, another dreaded aimed blow.  Devlin expected that
they would not make challenges.  If they did, he had beaten Coffee before.  Item was
a different story.  This was a poor matchup.  He would have to hope his own
challenges would go through.  In fact, Coffee became his second challenge.  He had
just beaten the warrior and even if Item was challenging, he predicted Coffee would
not be avoiding.
     Finally was Disemboweled Dora.  Another Wall of Steel but with a lot of fights.
Like with her teammate, Ground Chuck, it was all about the experience.  But there was
nothing to do for it.  He might be able to beat Dora, he might not.  That was the
wildcard.
     Resolved, Devlin made and posted his plan of attack.
     He was confident he had done all he could do and his battle plan was sound.

     Time would tell...

                                      SPY REPORT

     Welcome ARVAT.  I, Olaf Modeen remember this place well.  Many the fights have I 
fought here.  The celebrations, the disappointments...  Phhbltt!  Too much drinking 
and too little dodging gave ANGELS OF PAIN a 1-2-0!  I got a good laugh out of it!  
Up 'n down.  Up 'n down.  Rankings always change.  Up 'n down.  I think I'm gonna 
be...  Well, YOUNG STUDS' 8th moved them up to 3-2-0 place.  It seems so recently 
people were saying SECRET SQUIRRELS was washed up, finished.  But 4-1-0 moved them up 
0.  I guess they're washed no more...  What's with LORD BANE?  He actually beat 
ARVAT's PERSISTENT BEGGAR, and walked away with 16 more points from the fight.  Major 
screwup at STRAGETY, DAMMIT!.  TENACIOUS D lost 7 points to SLUETHY LU.  Some new 
strategies, perhaps?  Maybe TENACIOUS D will provide more easy wins...  Apparently 
ARVAT isn't filled with as many gutless wonders as I thought.  The Dreaded Duelmaster 
got 4 challenges this turn!  Try as she might, DISEMBOWELED DORA wasn't good enough 
at persuading DEVLIN DE TALIS to step down from the Duelmaster's throne...  Advice to 
fighters with a 1 will--give up fighting!   
     Speaking of cowardly avoiders and unfair challenges...  The most avoided team 
was DEVIL ADVOCATES.  The bums at ANGELS OF PAIN couldn't face the challenges from 
DEVIL ADVOCATES!  No excuse for that!  AKA didn't quite know what to make of a 
challenge he received from ALL GUNS BLAZING of NOTORIOUS, who is 21 points below him. 
ALL GUNS BLAZING perhaps got his just desserts, seeing as he was defeated by AKA and 
ended up with 81 recognition points.   
     Warriors of ARVAT unite.  You have only your games to lose!  Some people are 
wondering why ANGELS OF PAIN sent PERDITION (5-2-0) to the Dark Arena.  Just be glad 
you're not on their team.  Is it my imagination, or are fighters getting younger 
every day?  To die so young, so gloriously!   
     Well, I'm pretty much through.  You guys need to get back practicing.  All work 
and no play makes Olaf a dull fighter.  Work and play no fighter dull Olaf.  
Olaffighterwork and no play.  Time for my medication, so I'll leave now.  Practice, 
practice, practice!-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DEVLIN DE TALIS 5913         19   9  1   126       DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GROUND CHUCK 5776            21  24  1   115       THE WALKING DEAD (439)
 AKA 5808                     22  16  1   114       SECRET SQUIRRELS (433)
 SLUETHY LU 5884              14  18  1   108       SECRET SQUIRRELS (433)
 MAID IN A LAB 5888           16  14  0   106       SECRET SQUIRRELS (433)
-COFFEE 4637                  12   7  1    98       ERRATA (387)
 LITTLE DRAGON 6087           16  15  0    95       STRAGETY, DAMMIT! (477)
 DISEMBOWELED DORA 5679       19  34  2    93       THE WALKING DEAD (439)
-ITEM 4794                    14   8  0    93       ERRATA (387)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SKINNY PETE 5951             10   5  1    89       OTTOMAN EMPIRE (456)
 NYDMOR WYNZE 5871            20   6  1    86       OTTOMAN EMPIRE (456)
 TENACIOUS D 6086             12  13  0    81       STRAGETY, DAMMIT! (477)
 ALL GUNS BLAZING 5404        10   9  0    81       NOTORIOUS (71)
 160 SWIFTLY 5778             19  18  0    75       B.I.G. (437)
 COE RUPTOR 6047              11   3  0    73       DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)
 A. POLLY YONN 6048            9   5  0    73       DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)
-DOMINATION 5232              11   3  0    68       ANGELS OF PAIN (360)
-VENEER 4549                   7   3  1    68       ERRATA (387)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WHEELCHAIR 6060               8   5  0    54       OLD GEEZERS (473)
 G. RAY HAHN 6110              7   2  0    53       DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE SEAL 6059                 8   6  1    50       SECRET SQUIRRELS (433)
-HOLD 4546                     8   4  0    47       ERRATA (387)
-THE WHIT 6148                 5   0  0    46       GASTROPUB (480)
 AQUARIUM HEAD HERB 6132       6   2  0    43       THE WALKING DEAD (439)
 THE KING 5968                 2   6  0    41       IT'S GOOD TO BE... (470)
-ROAD TRIP 5865                4   6  0    39       THE MENTORS RIDE (466)
-CHICKEN SKIN 5947             5   5  0    36       DEATH BY DESIGN (264)
 FALSE TEETH 6079              7   3  0    34       OLD GEEZERS (473)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-STEEL GARTEN 6150             4   1  0    33       GASTROPUB (480)
-CHOPPER 5894                  1   1  1    33       THE MENTORS RIDE (466)
 BLOATED BARBARA 6044          7   8  1    30       THE WALKING DEAD (439)
 ARTHRITIS 6078                6   4  0    30       OLD GEEZERS (473)
-#CANTTOUCHTHIS 6019           2   6  0    28       DEATH BY DESIGN (264)
 DR. KLORD 6109                2   0  0    28       DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)
 RAGE 5979                     6   7  0    27       THE DELIRIUM RULES (472)
 MOOR 5978                     4   5  0    27       THE DELIRIUM RULES (472)
-BLOW OUT 5862                 2   3  0    25       THE MENTORS RIDE (466)
 ZOMBIE 6187                   2   0  0    25       THE CLASSICS (482)
-ARN 6014                      4   2  0    24       THE DELIRIUM RULES (472)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 REGULAR EXERCISE 6156         3   3  0    23       YOUNG STUDS (476)
-TEST SUBJECT: 1B 6118         2   2  1    23       DEATH BY DESIGN (264)
-NIGHTMARE 5712                1   1  0    20       ANGELS OF PAIN (360)
-ME SLICE YOU 6117             2   2  1    19       DEATH BY DESIGN (264)
 LORD BANE 6208                1   0  1    16       LAW OF TWO'S (483)
 GRIMSCOR 6031                 0   1  0    15       BLACK COLOSSUS (474)
 BE TRANSPARENT 6130           1   0  0    13       CON + INSULT (479)
 EXTERMINATION 6153            1   0  0    13       ANGELS OF PAIN (360)
 FEDERAL AGENT 6113            3   3  0    12       B.I.G. (437)
-OZARKS 5879                   3   1  0    12       THE MENTORS RIDE (466)
 GRIFFU 6194                   1   0  0    12       THE DELIRIUM RULES (472)
 FLAGRANT 6170                 1   2  0    11       B.I.G. (437)
-PUFF CABBAGE 5828             1   0  0    11       B.I.G. (437)
-LAGER 6146                    3   1  0    10       GASTROPUB (480)
 KASE SENSITIVE 6192           2   0  0    10       SECRET SQUIRRELS (433)
-EINEN BIER 6176               1   2  0    10       GASTROPUB (480)
 OOZING OLIVER 6179            1   0  0    10       THE WALKING DEAD (439)
 TRIPS 6198                    1   0  0    10       STRAGETY, DAMMIT! (477)
-SHADOW 5878                   2   1  0     9       THE MENTORS RIDE (466)
-BAXTER 4548                   1   2  0     9       ERRATA (387)
 STRAWMAN 6129                 1   0  0     9       CON + INSULT (479)
 HANKY PANKY 6191              1   1  0     8       THE CLASSICS (482)
 WHIRLY BIRD 6184              1   1  0     7       YOUNG STUDS (476)
-SIR PSYCHO SEXY 5943          0   1  0     7       NOTORIOUS (71)
 TO THE CHOPPER 6202           1   0  0     6       YOUNG STUDS (476)
 LONELY TONIGHT 6181           1   0  0     5       NOTORIOUS (71)
 HARD LANDING 6185             1   1  0     5       YOUNG STUDS (476)
 THE SLENDER MAN 6167          0   1  0     5       OTTOMAN EMPIRE (456)
 HOLDING PATTERN 6131          0   1  0     3       CON + INSULT (479)
 HEADCOUNT 6128                0   1  0     3       CON + INSULT (479)
 FLOSSIN 6169                  0   1  0     3       B.I.G. (437)
 AUTO ROTATION 6183            0   2  0     2       YOUNG STUDS (476)
 JIMI HENDRIX 6188             0   2  0     2       THE CLASSICS (482)
 SKYMASTER 6190                0   2  0     2       THE CLASSICS (482)
 PING YOU 6127                 0   1  0     1       CON + INSULT (479)
 GERIATRIC 6195                0   1  0     1       OLD GEEZERS (473)
 GENERAL GRIEVOUS 6205         0   1  0     1       LAW OF TWO'S (483)
-REJECTION 6178                0   1  0     1       DEATH BY DESIGN (264)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
PERSISTENT BEGGA        0  0 0                      LORD BANE 6208        746  NONE
DEAD ANGEL 6201         0  1 0 ANGELS OF PAIN 360   DARK CHAMPION         746  NONE
PERDITION 6107          5  3 0 ANGELS OF PAIN 360   BANDIT PRINCE         746  NONE
BREK YA NECK 5787       0  1 0 NOTORIOUS 71         MOUNTAIN TROLL        746  NONE
DEAD 6196               0  1 0 OLD GEEZERS 473      STONE GOLEM           746  NONE
211313813133 KID 6197   0  1 0 STRAGETY, DAMMIT 477 ARENAMISTRESS SU      746  NONE
EXPERIMENT 626 6166     1  1 0 STRAGETY, DAMMIT 477 ARENAMISTRESS SU      746  NONE
MURDER BY NUMBER 6099  20 23 0 STRAGETY, DAMMIT 477 GROUND CHUCK 5776     743   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

     Vlad -- There are a few points in your spotlight where I *think* hal has cut
     something off.  Sorry to leave them that way, but I have no clue where those
     sentences were supposed to go.  Email me (you have my address from the "diplo"
     last month) with the spotlights next time, and I'll put them in without hal's
     interference. -- the Editor

Devlin De Talis -- Not surprised to see you atop of the throne.  Congrats. --
Gentleben, Secret Squirrels

Devil Advocates -- Nice 5 award turn, guys, congrats. -- Secret Squirrels

All Guns Blazing -- Looks like you need more guns, my friend. -- AKA, the gunsmith

Disemboweled Dora -- No guts, no glory. -- Sluethy Lu

Tenacious D -- I assume the "D" is your grade in tenacity. -- Maid in A Lab

Regular Exercise -- You needed to follow your own advice, might have promoted growth
in your early years.  Oh well, you're stuck with it now. -- The Seal, who has a real
exercise regimen

Ground Chuck -- Since Murder By Numbers re-animated corpse did not emerge from the
Tourney O' Dead, I am sending Little Dragon to avenge his death.  It's a calculated
risk.  But Murder's death must be avenged! -- The Strategizer

Maid in a Lab -- 12-11 vs 14-14.  Did they advertise our bout as "The Best of the
Rest"?  Perhaps, "King of Mediocrity"?  I was much more dominating as a playground
bully than I am now. -- Tenacious D

Nydmor Wynze -- What happened to you being the next Duelmaster?  *Grins*  The best
laid plans of scum and men... Blah blah blah. -- Little Dragon

Hail and well met, warriors and managers of Arvat. -- Southern Boy, manager of The
Classics

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

PERDITION was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
EXPERIMENT 626 was butchered by ARENAMISTRESS SUGAR in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
BREK YA NECK was put to death by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena match.
211313813133 KID was slaughtered by ARENAMISTRESS SUGAR in a 2 minute brawl.
DEAD was assassinated by STONE GOLEM in a monotonous 3 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
DEAD ANGEL was viciously butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 3 minute Dark Arena duel.
LITTLE DRAGON was beaten by GROUND CHUCK in a 2 minute master's Bloodfeud brawl.
ALL GUNS BLAZING was handily defeated by AKA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
TENACIOUS D was vanquished by SLUETHY LU in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
A. POLLY YONN was viciously subdued by SKINNY PETE in a 4 minute Challenge duel.
THE SEAL was overpowered by COE RUPTOR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
ARTHRITIS was savagely defeated by AQUARIUM HEAD HERB in a 22 minute Challenge match.
DR. KLORD handily defeated FEDERAL AGENT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
SKYMASTER was bested by WHIRLY BIRD in a 2 minute amateur's Challenge bout.
DEVLIN DE TALIS handily defeated DISEMBOWELED DORA in a 4 minute uneven Title fight.
MAID IN A LAB devastated 160 SWIFTLY in a 1 minute uneven duel.
NYDMOR WYNZE savagely defeated KUNG-FU MASTER in a crowd pleasing 7 minute brawl.
G. RAY HAHN overpowered THE USEROUS MERCHANT in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
WHEELCHAIR beat RAGE in a 1 minute bout.
FALSE TEETH savagely defeated REGULAR EXERCISE in a 4 minute bloody fight.
BLOATED BARBARA was devastated by THE KING in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
MOOR overpowered JIMI HENDRIX in a 2 minute gory one-sided duel.
HANKY PANKY was overcome by GRIFFU in a 1 minute beginner's duel.
KASE SENSITIVE bested HEADCOUNT in a 2 minute gory novice's bout.
ZOMBIE defeated FLAGRANT in a 5 minute novice's duel.
HARD LANDING luckily beat PING YOU in a 8 minute gory novice's duel.
AUTO ROTATION was demolished by EXTERMINATION in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
FLOSSIN lost to STRAWMAN in a 2 minute novice's fray.
THE SLENDER MAN was viciously subdued by BE TRANSPARENT in a 1 minute bloody bout.
GRIMSCOR was vanquished by OOZING OLIVER in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
HOLDING PATTERN was luckily beaten by LONELY TONIGHT in a 5 minute beginner's duel.
GERIATRIC was subdued by TO THE CHOPPER in a 2 minute novice's fight.
TRIPS overpowered GENERAL GRIEVOUS in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
LORD BANE easily killed PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a 1 minute gruesome mismatched match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  11         TOTAL PARRY       32 -  19 -  0      63  |
|AIMED BLOW                      11         LUNGING ATTACK    54 -  46 -  3      54  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 10         PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -   1 -  0      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         AIMED BLOW        32 -  39 -  0      45  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         PARRY-LUNGE        6 -   8 -  0      43  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         SLASHING ATTACK   22 -  32 -  2      41  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    6         WALL OF STEEL     30 -  44 -  0      41  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         STRIKING ATTACK   22 -  33 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         PARRY-STRIKE       9 -  14 -  0      39  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         BASHING ATTACK    12 -  30 -  2      29  |

Turn 746 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    4 -  6         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     8 -  3     AIMED BLOW         3 -  8         2  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        5 -  2     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  5         2  AIMED BLOW     
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  3     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         1  BASHING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  3     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    DEVLIN DE TALIS 5913       19   9  1  126 DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)
BASHING ATTACK   AKA 5808                   22  16  1  114 SECRET SQUIRRELS (433)
LUNGING ATTACK   MAID IN A LAB 5888         16  14  0  106 SECRET SQUIRRELS (433)
AIMED BLOW       LITTLE DRAGON 6087         16  15  0   95 STRAGETY, DAMMIT! (477)
TOTAL PARRY      NYDMOR WYNZE 5871          20   6  1   86 OTTOMAN EMPIRE (456)
SLASHING ATTACK  G. RAY HAHN 6110            7   2  0   53 DEVIL ADVOCATES (105)
PARRY-STRIKE     FALSE TEETH 6079            7   3  0   34 OLD GEEZERS (473)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is GROUND CHUCK 5776.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was SKINNY PETE 5951.  The ten other most popular fighters were GROUND CHUCK 
5776, DISEMBOWELED DORA 5679, HOLDING PATTERN 6131, FLAGRANT 6170, DEVLIN DE TALIS 
5913, FALSE TEETH 6079, HEADCOUNT 6128, STRAWMAN 6129, DEAD ANGEL 6201, and AKA 5808.

The least popular fighter this week was AQUARIUM HEAD HERB 6132.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were ARTHRITIS 6078, DEAD 6196, HARD LANDING 6185, GENERAL GRIEVOUS 
6205, LONELY TONIGHT 6181, GRIMSCOR 6031, THE SLENDER MAN 6167, AUTO ROTATION 6183, 
ZOMBIE 6187, and JIMI HENDRIX 6188.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

DISEMBOWELED DORA (32-5679) THE WALKING DEAD (439)

                  MAIL-IN TOURNEY LVIII

CONTENDERS TOURNEY                     W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
DREAD 4666 (91-37-0)                   2  3  0         ANGELS OF PAIN       

ELIGIBLES TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
ABSOLUTION 5301 (63-19-3)              4  3  0         ANGELS OF PAIN       

ADM TOURNEY                            W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
PICKLED PIGSKIN 4051 (23-0-0)          2  3  0         BUFFY'S DINER        

FRESHMEN TOURNEY                       W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
BLASPHEMY 5332 (9-1-1)                 2  3  0         ANGELS OF PAIN       

CHALLENGERS TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
BLOOD RED SKIES 5430 (9-5-0)           3  3  0         CALL THE PRIEST      
DOMINATION 5232 (11-3-0)               3  3  0         ANGELS OF PAIN       
DROOL ROCKWORM 4642 (10-7-0)           0  2  0         BIG LAKE NOMADS      
THE ORPHAN MAKER 4644 (12-15-1)        0  2  0         BIG LAKE NOMADS      

CHAMPIONS TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
FILBURT 5842 (12-3-1)                  4  3  0         URT'S DURT URCHINS   
CHUCKY 3886 (11-1-0)                   2  3  0         CONFUSED CONS        

ADEPTS TOURNEY                         W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
SKINNY PETE 5951 (8-5-1)               1  3  0         OTTOMAN EMPIRE       
THE KING 5968 (1-5-0)                  0  2  0         IT'S GOOD TO BE...   

INITIATES TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
MOOR 5978 (3-5-0)                      2  3  1         THE DELIRIUM RULES   
ROOK 6013 (4-2-1)                      0  1  0  DEAD   THE DELIRIUM RULES   

APPRENTICES TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
STEEL GARTEN 6150 (3-1-0)              4  3  0         GASTROPUB            
GRIMSCOR 6031 (0-0-0)                  2  3  0         BLACK COLOSSUS       
BURTHA 6028 (1-3-0)                    0  1  0  DEAD   URT'S DURT URCHINS   
THE WHIT 6148 (4-0-0)                  0  2  0         GASTROPUB            

ROOKIES TOURNEY                        W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
BE TRANSPARENT 6130 (0-0-0)            6  3  0         CON + INSULT         
DR. KLORD 6109 (0-0-0)                 6  3  0         DEVIL ADVOCATES      
EXTERMINATION 6153 (0-0-0)             6  3  1         ANGELS OF PAIN       
STRAWMAN 6129 (0-0-0)                  3  3  0         CON + INSULT         
JANIS JOPLIN 6189 (0-0-0)              2  2  0  DEAD   THE CLASSICS         
FAT NANCY 6163 (0-0-0)                 2  3  0  DEAD   OTTOMAN EMPIRE       
HANKY PANKY 6191 (0-0-0)               1  3  0         THE CLASSICS         
THE SLENDER MAN 6167 (0-0-0)           1  3  0         OTTOMAN EMPIRE       
CROUP 3749 (0-0-0)                     0  2  0         THE LUNGS OF HELL    
EXPERIMENT 626 6166 (0-0-0)            0  2  0         STRAGETY, DAMMIT!    
FLOSSIN 6169 (0-0-0)                   0  2  0         B.I.G.               
HEADCOUNT 6128 (0-0-0)                 0  2  0         CON + INSULT         
HOLDING PATTERN 6131 (0-0-0)           0  2  0         CON + INSULT         

DEAD CHALLENGERS TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
OG THE RARE 4646 (5-5-0)               3  3  0         BIG LAKE NOMADS      
MURDER BY NUMBERS 6099 (20-23-0)       1  3  0         STRAGETY, DAMMIT!    

DEAD CHAMPIONS TOURNEY                 W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
GURT 5821 (11-7-0)                     2  3  1         URT'S DURT URCHINS   
HONG KONG PHOOEY 5697 (10-3-0)         1  3  0         BUFFY'S DINER        

DEAD ADEPTS TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
D.A. CUSER 5512 (7-5-1)               13  2  1         DEVIL ADVOCATES      
DILBURT 5820 (8-4-0)                   0  2  0         URT'S DURT URCHINS   
MALEVOLENCE 5333 (1-0-0)               0  2  0         ANGELS OF PAIN       

DEAD INITIATES TOURNEY                 W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
PUFF CABBAGE 5828 (1-0-0)             11  3  1         B.I.G.               
NATURAL BOURNE 5709 (2-1-0)            5  3  0         SECRET SQUIRRELS     
RUDY VOLEVOL 5851 (1-3-0)              5  3  0         DEVIL ADVOCATES      
BITCHIN' CAMARO 5714 (4-0-0)           4  3  0         NOTORIOUS            
ALBURT 5823 (3-0-0)                    2  3  0         URT'S DURT URCHINS   
ABOMINATION 5470 (0-0-0)               0  2  0         ANGELS OF PAIN       
LEEDS 5630 (2-0-0)                     0  2  0         WORLD BLADES 4       

DEAD APPRENTICES TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
DUBLIN 5627 (0-0-0)                    0  2  0         WORLD BLADES 4       

                             * * * * *   MEMO  * * * * *

From:       The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission
To:         All Managers

In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's 
cramp, census forms will be provided for warriors by request only, effective 
immediately.  Managers may register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by 
simply writing them on a separate piece of paper and submitting them to the 
Commission.  Each warrior may have up to 15 favorite sayings.  Each saying must be 
categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch, Victory and may be up to 80 characters long.  
For any questions, please contact the Gladiatorial Commission.