Date   : 08/14/2003    Duedate: 08/27/2003


DM-33    TURN-450

This Weeks Top Honors


(33-3149) [11-13-0,98]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

FOOD FIGHT (10)                JAILBIRDS (590)
(33-1302) [19-20-0,109]        (33-7097) [7-0-0,41]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

(33-6864) [16-12-2,82]         (33-7044) [4-3-1,32]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. JAILBIRDS (590)             29
2. PIG BATTALION (226)         27      CAVITY CREEPS II (398)
3. OBSIDIAN HALL (192)         26      Unchartered Team
4. CAVITY CREEPS II (398)      12
5. CASINO HAMMERZ (576)         8      KILLER JS (577)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*KILLER JS (577)            1   0  0  100   1/ 1 WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)   11  4 1
 2/ 3 CAVITY CREEPS II (398)    90  65  4 58.1   2/ 3 FOOD FIGHT (10)           7  5 1
 3/ 4 PATH OF THE BLADE (558)   52  42  5 55.3   3/ 5*JAILBIRDS (590)           7  8 0
 4/ 5 FOOD FIGHT (10)          134 113  5 54.3   4/ 2 CASINO HAMMERZ (576)      7  8 0
 5/ 7 OBSIDIAN HALL (192)      296 265 26 52.8   5/ 7 OBSIDIAN HALL (192)       6  9 0
 6- 8 SACKETT'S & CO. (552)     85  77  8 52.5   6/ 4 JOYS OF BOOZE (556)       5  4 0
 7/11 JOYS OF BOOZE (556)      106  99  3 51.7   7/ 8 PIG BATTALION (226)       4 10 0
 8/12 WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)    96 100  2 49.0   8/10 CAVITY CREEPS II (398)    3  0 0
 9/13 CASINO HAMMERZ (576)      38  41  8 48.1   9- 9 WILLY WONKA INC. (550)    3  6 0
10/14 PIG BATTALION (226)       53  67  4 44.2  10/ 6 PATH OF THE BLADE (558)   2  9 0
11-15 WILLY WONKA INC. (550)    88 122  3 41.9  11-14 SACKETT'S & CO. (552)     1  0 0
12/16*JAILBIRDS (590)           14  21  1 40.0  12/ 0*KILLER JS (577)           1  0 0
13-18*THE BLACK HAND (77)        0   1  0  0.0  13-17*THE BLACK HAND (77)       0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     >)]H[(< + -----:----- + >)] The Free Cities #66 [(< + -----:----- + >)]H[(<

Ibizond, Korga, and in between:

     Fist of Kjarran strode briskly along the road that ran east from Ibizond.  It
would eventually reach Malcorn and then Zuwayza, but that was several days away even
if nothing came of this effort to catch the killer.  What kind of man, he wondered
would haunt a lonely stretch of road and kill only single travelers after dark?  A
coward, for one thing.  But it might be useful to consider the other factors; after
all, the ambush ahead that was supposed to catch the killer might fail.  He could end
up fighting alone.  His hand caressed the hilt of his sword.  And he'd do very well
by himself, if he had to.
     The Murskan, Cadal, believed the killer was a non-human monster of some sort,
perhaps a demon.  It would be a feather in his cap to kill a demon....  But he had to
remember that he wasn't out here for glory, even when the glory would honor mighty
Kjarran, and his daughter Jayde, too, of course.  He was here to rid the area of a
killer.  He peered sharply into the trees on either side of the road.  Though the sun
had not yet vanished behind the western hills, the woods were already filled with
shadow.  Anything could be hiding there.
     In fact, Aghtamar, Zilla, and Cadal were hiding there, somewhere a little
farther ahead.  No human would detect them, Fist believed.  Cadal might be a semi-
barbarian, as all the Murskans were, and a second-rate gladiator (for a Lord
Protector), but he knew what he was doing in the woods.  Fist sighed and shook his
head.  What the Murskans should be doing in the woods was cutting down the trees and
planting beans.  Oh, well.  Doubtless that would come in time, as they absorbed
civilization from their more enlightened neighbor, the Glorious Empire.
     Meanwhile, there was the killer.  The sun was balanced on the rim of the hills,
and the shadows were stretching out of the forest and across the road.  It was time 
for the killer to appear.
     As though his thought had conjured the sound, he heard hoofs on the road ahead
of him.  No one had mentioned the killer being mounted.  Could this be a chance
victim?  Some unfortunate traveler from the east who didn't know the risk he was
taking?  The rider was still out of sight, as the road ahead curving and slanting
into a valley dark with trees.  That valley would be a good place for the killer to
set his ambush....  Or for Cadal to set his!  Fist had a sudden vision of the killer
and the gladiators facing each other across the road, waiting for a victim to walk
into their trap.  He resisted the urge to laugh; after all, it could be true!  He
also resisted the urge to break into a run, which would tire out him right when he
might be needing his full strength.
     Somewhere ahead, but farther away than the horseman, a hound bayed, answered by
two more.  At least, Fist of Kjarran was fairly sure they were hounds, and not
wolves.  But it was enough to make anyone's blood run cold, and that alone might have
scared a timid traveler to death.  And who would be hunting with hounds along this
road at night?  Fist wasn't a country boy, but something seemed out of step in this.
Maybe the killer used the hounds to terrify his victims?  In any case, the horsemen
in the valley was in danger.
     Fist paused to listen.  He had lost track of the hoofbeats when he'd heard the
baying, but now he picked them up again.  They were faster-paced, but...they didn't
seem to be getting any closer.  He shuddered in sympathy for the rider as he hurried
ahead.  It must be like one of those nightmares where you run and run and can't
     Darkness filled the little valley like a pool of water.  Fist had the
unreasonable feeling that he should hold his breath as he descended.  There was a
thin wail from below, then shouts and the clangor of swords.  He broke into a trot.
Some other traveler must have drawn the killer and sprung the ambush before he got
     At the bottom of the valley, the road crossed a stream.  The woods were broken
there so that some moonlight came down onto the bridge and the struggle going on
there.  Swords flickered in reflected moonlight, and shadows surged back and forth.
Fist drew his sword.  One shadow detached itself from the struggle.  It was
silhouetted briefly against the white foam of the stream: a gigantic hound, black as
hate except for crimson ears and eyes that burned like fire.  It bayed as it raced
along the road toward Fist of Kjarran.
     Fist shuddered.  You didn't have to be timid for that sound and sight to freeze
your blood!  But he was a gladiator, a Lord Protector, a faithful follower of Kjarran
and Jayde.  No dog was going to intimidate him.  He steadied his sword to receive the

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 471): BLUE DUCK of BLUE MOON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 469): EQUALIZER of THE LAWMEN (?, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 465): DIRT KNAP of UNKNOWNS XX (Dark Spirit, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 466): PA ELL of WAY OF THE SWORD (? mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 464): DUSK of DELTA DOOM (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 463): KANDY KANES of CARNIVAL (Carny, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 231): RAPAX of THE PENTARCHY (The Pentalque, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 455): MR. YUCK of THE TAKEN (Stillgard, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 229): DELWYNNDWN of THE NIGHTHAWKS (Firehawk, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 451): PICKLED PIGSKIN of BUFFY'S DINER (Alfredo Frothingslosh)
 DM  33 NIATOLI ISLAND (turn 449): APATHY of WHEN DOGMA FAILS (Prophet, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 442): KING BEAR of THE BEARS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 406): SUNGOD DESIGNED ME of WENSINWASIN (Youngblood, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 206): SUNFLASH of NORTHERN LIGHTS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 200): JUMBO MUMBO of SPOONERTIKS (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 187): CLOUDS AWAY of OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 330): 4-0 PROLENE of GENERAL SURGERY (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 310): ON MY WAY of SADISTS F2F (SunGod, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 136): JUSTICE of PEACE MAKERS (Solomon, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 356): NEMESIS of CHAMPIONS from JHELUM (Shadowgate, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 471): DARK TOADS (TigToad, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 469): BLOODSUCKERS (Way Cool, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 465): UNKNOWNS XX (Dark Spirit, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 466): WYLDERNESS WYLD (?, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 464): KINDRED OF KAOS (PTFT, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 463): CARNIVAL (Carny, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 231): UGLY URBAN ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 455): DEATH THREAT (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 229): UNFIT TO BE ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 451): DEVIL ADVOCATES (Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  33 ANASAZI (turn 449): WHEN DOGMA FAILS (Prophet, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 442): COMIC MAYHEM (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 406): THE FAMILY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 206): DYNASTIC (Jack Wolfspider, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 200): SPOONERTIKS (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 187): DARK SIDHE (Daehir, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 330): GENERAL SURGERY (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 310): FAVORITE GUYS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 136): WAY TO GO! II (Spawn, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 356): MEOW MIX, etc. (Ultraist, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 471): BLUE DUCK of BLUE MOON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 468): LIFE SENTANCE of THE LAWMEN (?, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 464): MALASION of THE BLACKHEARTS (Nunzio Frothingslosh, mgr.)
                           N.D. GRASSE of PUNNY AMINALS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 464): KILLIN' STU of MINIONS OF MILO (Kleptov Grenufelbitz)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 463): KANDY KANES of CARNIVAL (Carny, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 231): BATMANNING (28-3402) CANADIAN BACON (Firehawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 229):ODYSSEUS of OVERLORDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
                               KRAC D'CHEVALIERS of THE STORMGUARDS (The Icelord)
                               BABBS BUNNY of LOONY TOONS (Rascally Rabbit, mgr.)
                   (turn 228): SIR YDER of WILLBENDERS (Abraxis, mgr.)
                               BONEGRIN DEVAR of BUSHMASTERS (Tripwire, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 450): LIGHTNING of HARBINGERS (High Lord Bosk, mgr.)
 DM  33 ANASAZI (turn 448): RYANATOR of OBSIDIAN HALL (Dameon Darkheart, mgr.)
                            LEMON DROP of JOYS OF BOOZE (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 205): DEBBIE DAHMER of MORDRED'S MADMEN (Abraxis, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 200): ZEEL BEBUB of SPOONERTIKS (Spawn, mgr.)
                               INCREDIBLE SULK of DRAKE'S COMICS (Drake, mgr.)
                               MARY ANN of SCREEN DREAMS (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 187): CLOUDS AWAY of OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 135): PUNCH DRUNK of WAY TO GO! II (Spawn, mgr.)
                            MOONSTONE of FLAMING FIST (Firehawk, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Despite my name, I'm surprisingly excited to be on the throne.  I'm the first of 
the "When Dogma Fails" crew to be Duelmaster, so needless to say the boss is happy.  
As there is only one Challenger Champion to challenge for the throne, looks like 
Sqweze Cheese and I will duke it out.


                                      SPY REPORT

     Well, what are you looking at, ANASAZI?  Ain't you never seen Snide Clemens 
before?  Ah, shaddup and listen to my news.  Now keep the taverns open late tonight, 
for there are sorrows to drown for PATH OF THE BLADE, whose 0-4-0 this turn dropped 
them by 4 into 10th.  Ha!  THE BLACK HAND turned their 0-0-0 turn into a 13th place 
rank in the listings this turn.  Any better than this, and you get put on hit lists.  
Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see GRUDGEBRINGER win a fight and gain 21 
points, terribly.  Tsk, tsk, GRUDGEBRINGER beat BRILL and BRILL lost 19 points.  
You're breakin' my heart.  And it's out with the old, in with the new, as OLD MAJOR 
takes the Title and last week's bar tab from the old Duelmaster.  Heh, heh.  I'm not 
in a very good mood today, but why am I telling you this?  You want to know what's 
new, don't you, ANASAZI?   
     My mother always told me, 'If you don't have anything nice to say, start 
talking.' I loved that woman.  ANASAZI, I am losing what little hope I had in you.  
WILLY WONKA INC. the most avoided team?  What insult will suffice, I cannot say.  And 
it looks like OBSIDIAN HALL avoided them the most this turn.  What a pack of would be 
losers, if you ask me.  Hmph.  SNOWBALL was challenged more times this turn than the 
Duelmaster.  Now was the DM insulted or feared?  Heh, heh.  I guess I can give a 
little credit to HERETIC BARBECUE of WHEN DOGMA FAILS for challenging up by 20 to 
HAGGIS.  HERETIC BARBECUE was slain to get 7 points of recognition.   
     Some people like volunteer work in the hospitals.  I volunteer for ANASAZI's 
morgue.  More variety.  Consider EXUS gone, and PATH OF THE BLADE unfeeling, letting 
the bloodfeud for his death go unrevenged.  We're all going to die in the end, so why 
worry if the fate catches up with you sooner that later?   
     I was about to buy a new quill pen the other day, but some fighter took it for 
an epee.  Forgive me for writing with a dagger.  Phlllt!  Just had to do that before 
I leave the fine city of ANASAZI.  I feel much better now.  I see the crowds are 
getting restless, I must leave now-- Snide Clemens  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OLD MAJOR 3149               11  13  0    98       PIG BATTALION (226)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SQUEEZE CHEESE 1302          19  20  0   109       FOOD FIGHT (10)
-MAD DOG 4568                 11   7  1   102       CAVITY CREEPS II (398)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GRUDGEBRINGER 6999           10   5  0    87       WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)
-MIKE TV 6965                 11   7  1    85       WILLY WONKA INC. (550)
 PANDORA 6898                  9   7  1    83       OBSIDIAN HALL (192)
 WILD CARD HAMMER 6864        16  12  2    82       CASINO HAMMERZ (576)
-ARANT 4604                    9   6  0    80       CAVITY CREEPS II (398)
 APATHY 6913                  14   8  0    73       WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)
 SILK 6498                    12   8  0    70       PATH OF THE BLADE (558)
-ANDY 6769                    16  19  1    68       WILLY WONKA INC. (550)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BRILL 6501                   10  10  0    66       PATH OF THE BLADE (558)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-KID REDO 6899                 7   7  2    52       SACKETT'S & CO. (552)
-TALOS 5919                    5   1  0    50       CAVITY CREEPS II (398)
 RED HEAD 6073                 4   3  0    50       CAVITY CREEPS II (398)
 DIGITALIS 6862               10  11  1    49       OBSIDIAN HALL (192)
 HEY, ZEUS! 7068               6   1  0    45       WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)
 DOCTOR LECTER 7097            7   0  0    41       JAILBIRDS (590)
 SNOWBALL 3150                 8   9  0    39       PIG BATTALION (226)
 LIGHT DA' PYRE 7063           3   4  1    37       WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)
 HAGGIS 6132                   6   6  1    34       FOOD FIGHT (10)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 VLAD 7119                     1   3  0    33       PATH OF THE BLADE (558)
 ROULETTE HAMMER 7044          4   3  1    32       CASINO HAMMERZ (576)
 BLACK JACK HAMMER 7081        3   4  1    31       CASINO HAMMERZ (576)
-CATLOW 6990                   4   3  0    28       SACKETT'S & CO. (552)
-LONIGAN 7022                  2   4  1    28       SACKETT'S & CO. (552)
 POKER FACE HAMMER 7057        4   3  1    27       CASINO HAMMERZ (576)
 IRON CHEF 6925                5   1  0    26       FOOD FIGHT (10)
 REPEAT OFFENDER 7122          3   1  0    26       JAILBIRDS (590)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TIM ALLEN 7098                3   4  1    23       JAILBIRDS (590)
 LUCKY LADY HAMMER 7043        3   4  1    22       CASINO HAMMERZ (576)
 DA SPINS 7011                 3   2  0    21       JOYS OF BOOZE (556)
 MANSLAUGHTER 7139             1   0  0    20       JAILBIRDS (590)
 STUPOR 7094                   3   3  0    16       JOYS OF BOOZE (556)
 JOE FRIDAY 7130               1   1  0    12       PIG BATTALION (226)
 POC 7123                      1   3  0    11       PIG BATTALION (226)
-SHOCK TART 7131               1   0  0    11       WILLY WONKA INC. (550)
-CHARLIE BUCKET 7095           2   4  0    10       WILLY WONKA INC. (550)
 SPRYTE 7101                   1   6  0    10       OBSIDIAN HALL (192)
 JEFF THOMPSON 6884            1   0  0     8       KILLER JS (577)
-FOOFAH 6343                   1   3  0     6       LORD OF THE RINGS (540)
-FRODO BAGGINS 6345            1   3  0     6       LORD OF THE RINGS (540)
 MYRIKLE 7128                  1   2  0     5       OBSIDIAN HALL (192)
-SMOG 6384                     0   3  0     3       LORD OF THE RINGS (540)
-WONKATANIA 7132               0   2  0     2       WILLY WONKA INC. (550)
 FIRSTTIME FELON 7140          0   1  0     1       JAILBIRDS (590)
-DANG DAN 4439                 0   1  0     1       I'M DAN, MAN (378)
-ARCHANGEL 713                 0   1  0     1       THE BLACK HAND (77)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
GRUEL 6861             1  4 0 FOOD FIGHT 10         TIM ALLEN 7098        447 JUST REV
COOLHAND LUKE 7100     0  3 0 JAILBIRDS 590         LUCKY LADY HAMME 7043 446 JUST REV
RYPME 7141             0  1 0 OBSIDIAN HALL 192     ARENAMASTER KAGHA 243 450 NONE    
MEAT 7137              0  1 0 PATH OF THE BLADE 558 SHEWISH GIANT 241     450 NONE    
EXUS 7078              4  1 0 PATH OF THE BLADE 558 WILD CARD HAMMER 6864 446 NOT REVE
CANADIAN II 7142       0  1 0 PIG BATTALION 226     SHEWISH GIANT 241     450 NONE    
MEN 7029               2  2 0 PIG BATTALION 226     ROULETTE HAMMER 7044  447 REVENGED
HERETIC BARBECUE 7121  1  2 0 WHEN DOGMA FAILS 566  HAGGIS 6132           450         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Dear Roll-up Gods -- Please take this vile disgusting pig of a warrior as a sacrifice 
and replace him with a mighty warrior so that I may smite my enemies with ease and 
watch gleefully from the sidelines my opponents grovel and beg for mercy.  I would 
promise not to gloat...too much.  Take this shiny new coin as an advanced token of my 
gratitude and please don't think of it as a bribe for I know you are above such petty 
things.  If my pleas do not gratify you please let me know for I am not above 
groveling and begging some more. -- Kellog

     Sir, I'd be glad to do this for you, but I don't know how to make warriors
     happen.  That's because I'm just a trainee RUG left to watch the grass grow, or
     something like that, while all the others go on vacation. -- Trainee RUG #3894b

Roulette Hammer -- My stable is not done with you yet.  Joe Friday will take his turn 
with you.  It should test his mettle. -- Kellog

Hammer -- Just in case Canadian II (Pig Battalion) comes back from the DA he's a 
Parry-Striker or Piker as you say. -- Kellog

Distorted -- Nice downchallenge.  Real classy move.  But I should expect something 
like that from an A.A. member.  As for your analogy of A-10 what does that say about 
Slugworth and Mike TV as he beat them both?  And Old Major is...old...wow your 
intellect is truly dizzying.  Let me guess, Snowball doesn't have a snowball's chance 
against your guys.  If you would have called him a communist I would have been 
impressed that you put some thought into your putdowns.  Please have someone help you 
with these as you're not very good at it. -- Kellog

Roulette Hammer -- If we are going to challenge each other for the lead in the 
contest, we might as well do it head-to-head, eh? -- Hey, Zeus!

Hammer -- Please enter Firsttime Felon into the Basher competition. -- Philthy Phil, 

18 July 2003
To All Managers -- I would like to take this time to announce that my alliance, The
Association, is no more.  Due to the dead weight managers of the alliance and their
lack of participation, DarkSpirit and I have formed a new alliance:  The Firm.  We
have taken on two members so far and are looking for a few more.  If you would like
to find out more about The Firm, you can diplo Dark Spirit, Unknowns XX in arena 15
or myself, Sungod, Sadists F2FII in arena 62.
                               --*  The Firm *--
                    Sungod -- Sadists F2FII -- 62
                    Dark Spirit -- Unknowns XX -- 15
                    Youngblood -- Wensinwasin -- 43
                    Tripwire -- Of Wolf and Man -- 1

26 July 2003
     Citizens of Alastari, a bright dawn has risen.  While you slept, a pernicious
force has entered the once-fair City of Aruak.  It fought alongside their treasured
warriors, it drank with their fans, and it slept with their women.  Now the masks are
coming off.
     Warriors, be afraid...be very afraid.  After years of Andorian managers ranting
that Aruak is the safest city in Alastari, the Frothingslosh Syndicate has selected
Aruak City as the home for its next epic 'contest'--Murder by Numbers II.  Our spies
have selected the warriors for extermination, and the executioners have had several
months to prepare.  Now a new age of darkness will descend upon Aruak, as the
Syndicate and its allies bring an entirely new level of competition to the arena!
Downchallenges!  Assassinations!  Small poodles as hors d'oeuvres!
     The Murder by Numbers II 'rules' will be announced next cycle.  However, we
invite all managers, from all corners of Alastari, to come to Aruak City and take
part...in one way or another.  Help defend the honor of a long heralded haven for the
pure, or join the forces of change in their siege of the ice-cream and cake
stronghold of the Dukes of Nerf-Dueling!
     This exercise is not for either the faint of heart or the weak willed.  Blood
will flow, brains will leak, and beer will be chugged.  Either way, we welcome you
with open arms and gleaming blades.
     This public service announcement has been brought to you by Frothingslosh Epic
Contests (tm), the number 86, and the letter 'K'.

The Frothingslosh Syndicate

29 July 2003
           *     *     *     *The Third Annual Turf War*     *     *     *
     Yes, it's time again for alliances to go to war!  TW3 will be held in DM 47
(North Fork) at a date to be  specified later--right after Crip's Incomprehensible
Contest is over...but I'm sure everyone wants to get their teams there soon!  Here
are the rules:

1.  Each alliance must have a leader declare the arrival of his alliance.  The leader
    will be responsible for verifying any and all teams/managers who declare to the
    alliance he/she is leading.
2.  Each manager, team declaring for the contest must have approval of the leader,
    donate one Roll-up Certificate ($5) to the prize pot (send it to me by diplo, by
    snail, or a note to customer service), and declare his/her team by diplo, p-ad or
3.  Each team may declare one warrior as champion.  All points scored by a champ are
4.  Prizes are as follows (mostly...there WILL be some things added as the prize pot
    grows with entry donations--this list is not final!)
    *  Highest scoring alliance -- Rename Arena 47 for a period of 6 months, one half
       of the total prize pot donated; roll-up certs.
    *  The Alliance with the most returns from the DA will get to re-name the DA
       monsters for a period of 6 months.
    *  The alliance with the most warriors listed as style masters will get to pick
       the Alastari city/arena to host the next Grand Tournament.
    *  The warrior with the most front page honors/awards will have the Arenamaster
       named after him for a period of 6 months.
    *  The Alliance with the most front page Honors/Awards will have the honor of
        picking the *slow* arena to host the Fifth Annual Turf War.
    *  The team with the most listings as Style Master will find out the favorites of
       one of their warriors.
    *  The warrior with the most listings as Style Master will fight at my expense
       for five turns (I will transfer to the manager's account).
    *  The Alliance with the most kills will be able to re-name the stand-in warriors
       for a period of 6 months.
    *  The warrior that scores the most total points will fight at my expense for 5
       turns (I will transfer $7.50 to the manager's account).
    *  The team that scores the most total points will receive an extra share of
       roll-up certs from the prize pot.
     There may be more categories to come, and the prize pot still has to be
divided...I'm open to category/prize ideas--and further donations to the prize pot.
     The contest will run for *TEN* turns; prizes will be awarded at the end of the
11th turn.
     Scoring will be as follows:
* 5 points per fight, doubled for each of the following conditions met:
     -- Two Alliance     -- Champion
     -- Challenge        -- Two Champions
     -- Bloodfeud        -- Challenger losing
     -- Kill
     (Note:  DA losses are exempt, but DA wins will be *tripled*!!!  Ex:  Happy
Slasher goes to the DA and dies, no points are lost.  If he wins, his team scores 60
points!  If he was a champ, he scores 120 points!)
     Use the following chart to calculate scores:
Conditions Met:       0     1     2     3     4     5     6     7
Points Per Fight:     5    10    20    40    80   160   320   640
* Awards/Honors and Style Masters will each be awarded points also.  Find the total
number of each (do note add Awards and Style Masters together) and consult the graph
below.  Champs that score an award or style master count as two.
     1 --   5      7 --  320
     2 --  10      8 --  640
     3 --  20      9 -- 1280
     4 --  40     10 -- 2560
     5 --  80     11 -- 5280
     6 -- 100     (x2 for each extra)
Note -- These categories *count as "triple"*--they will be figured for each team,
*AND* again for each alliance *as well as* for each warrior!
*  Each and every mention in the Spy Report is worth 5 points...period.
*  TVs will be scored on the same scale as Awards/Style Masters, but the total points
will be x10.  TC's will be scored as TV's, but x10 more.
Number of TV/TC's          Points Scored (TV/TC)
     1      50/ 500
     2     100/1000
     3     200/2000
     4     400/4000
     +     x2/ x2 (for each extra)
     Each alliance will start with 5000 points, scores for *fights* will be added to
the winner's total *AND* deducted from the losers.
     Come  one and all, defend your turf and the honor of your alliance...or your
                    Asmo Dius, TCB
                    Arenas, DM 47, DM 73

1 August 2003
     Assurnasirbanipal invites you to Talcama to participate in the third BATTLE
ROYAL contest.  It is a Delarquan contest so brutal that even some of Talcama's most
notable managers will refuse to participate.  The rules are simpler than any other
contest:  You may not avoid any other contest team.  There are no silly rules for who
can and can't compete.  Any team in Talcama is eligible to compete.  The scoring is
also quite simple (+1 for a win, +1 for a kill (+1 for the win), -1 for a loss) and
the first team to reach 25 points is the winner.
     Scoring will be live--the results for the turn posted in the newsletter.  The
winner will be able to fight their contest team in Talcama for free for 6 months but
more importantly will win a contest against some of the best managers who play the
game in one of the hardest contests in the game.
     First turn for BATTLE ROYAL 3 is Talcama Turn 465, which is due August 30.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CANADIAN II was dealt death by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
RYPME was butchered by ARENAMASTER KAGHAL in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
MEAT was savagely slain by SHEWISH GIANT in a exciting 1 minute gory Dark Arena melee.
SQUEEZE CHEESE viciously subdued TIM ALLEN in a 3 minute mismatched Bloodfeud brawl.
DOCTOR LECTER overpowered LUCKY LADY HAMMER in a 6 minute mismatched Bloodfeud match.
VLAD was bested by WILD CARD HAMMER in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud duel.
JOE FRIDAY was savagely defeated by ROULETTE HAMMER in a 4 minute Bloodfeud brawl.
IRON CHEF was viciously subdued by DIGITALIS in a 5 minute Challenge duel.
HERETIC BARBECUE was slaughtered by HAGGIS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
POC was overpowered by LIGHT DA' PYRE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
MYRIKLE was savagely defeated by REPEAT OFFENDER in a 3 minute Challenge match.
APATHY was devastated by OLD MAJOR in a 1 minute one-sided Title battle.
SILK was bested by PANDORA in a 2 minute bout.
BRILL was handily defeated by GRUDGEBRINGER in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
POKER FACE HAMMER was vanquished by RED HEAD in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
SNOWBALL lost to HEY, ZEUS! in a 2 minute fray.
BLACK JACK HAMMER overpowered SPRYTE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute mismatched brawl.
STUPOR outlasted CONVICTED THIEF in a tiresome 8 minute bout.
DA SPINS beat MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute bout.
JEFF THOMPSON savagely defeated FIRSTTIME FELON in a 4 minute amateur's fight.
MANSLAUGHTER overpowered EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute uneven fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         WALL OF STEEL     20 -  14 -  0      59  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         STRIKING ATTACK   57 -  42 -  7      58  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  6         BASHING ATTACK    25 -  19 -  2      57  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         LUNGING ATTACK    46 -  41 -  3      53  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     17 -  19 -  2      47  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         TOTAL PARRY       26 -  37 -  3      41  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         SLASHING ATTACK   14 -  24 -  1      37  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         PARRY-LUNGE       16 -  28 -  1      36  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         AIMED BLOW         4 -   7 -  0      36  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         PARRY-STRIKE       2 -   5 -  0      29  |

Turn 450 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  1     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  2         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  4         2  BASHING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     4 -  2     WALL OF STEEL      1 -  2         2  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  3     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         2  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  2     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   GRUDGEBRINGER 6999         10   5  0   87 WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)
PARRY-LUNGE      PANDORA 6898                9   7  1   83 OBSIDIAN HALL (192)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WILD CARD HAMMER 6864      16  12  2   82 CASINO HAMMERZ (576)
WALL OF STEEL    APATHY 6913                14   8  0   73 WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)
STRIKING ATTACK  SILK 6498                  12   8  0   70 PATH OF THE BLADE (558)
LUNGING ATTACK   HEY, ZEUS! 7068             6   1  0   45 WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)
TOTAL PARRY      DOCTOR LECTER 7097          7   0  0   41 JAILBIRDS (590)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is WILD CARD HAMMER 6864.  The most popular warrior 
this turn was ROULETTE HAMMER 7044.  The ten other most popular fighters were 
PANDORA 6898, HEY, ZEUS! 7068, SILK 6498, RED HEAD 6073, BLACK JACK HAMMER 7081, and 
MEAT 7137.

The least popular fighter this week was STUPOR 7094.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were DOCTOR LECTER 7097, POKER FACE HAMMER 7057, BRILL 6501, APATHY 6913, 
SPRYTE 7101.