DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER

Date   : 09/11/2003    Duedate: 09/24/2003

ANASAZI ARENA

DM-33    TURN-452

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

APATHY
WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)
(33-6913) [16-8-0,107]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

APATHY                         REPEAT OFFENDER
WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)         JAILBIRDS (590)
(33-6913) [16-8-0,107]         (33-7122) [4-1-0,35]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

ANDY                           BLACK JACK HAMMER
WILLY WONKA INC. (550)         CASINO HAMMERZ (576)
(33-6769) [17-19-1,92]         (33-7081) [5-4-1,50]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

OBSIDIAN HALL (192)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)      41
2. OBSIDIAN HALL (192)         39      CAVITY CREEPS II (398)
3. CASINO HAMMERZ (576)        32      Unchartered Team
4. WILLY WONKA INC. (550)      25
5. PATH OF THE BLADE (558)     15      JAILBIRDS (590)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 CAVITY CREEPS II (398)    90  67  4 57.3   1/ 4 OBSIDIAN HALL (192)      10  5 2
 2/ 2 PATH OF THE BLADE (558)   52  43  5 54.7   2/ 1 WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)   10  5 0
 3/ 4 OBSIDIAN HALL (192)      304 267 28 53.2   3/ 2 CASINO HAMMERZ (576)      8  7 2
 4/ 3 FOOD FIGHT (10)          136 121  5 52.9   4/ 3 PIG BATTALION (226)       6  9 0
 5/ 6 JOYS OF BOOZE (556)      108 101  3 51.7   5/ 5*JAILBIRDS (590)           5  5 0
 6/ 7 WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)   103 103  2 50.0   6/ 7 JOYS OF BOOZE (556)       4  2 0
 7/ 8 CASINO HAMMERZ (576)      43  46 10 48.3   7/ 6 FOOD FIGHT (10)           4  9 1
 8/ 9 PIG BATTALION (226)       58  72  4 44.6   8/ 9 WILLY WONKA INC. (550)    2  3 0
 9/10 WILLY WONKA INC. (550)    90 125  3 41.9   9/ 8 CAVITY CREEPS II (398)    1  2 0
10/11*JAILBIRDS (590)           16  24  1 40.0  10-11*KILLER JS (577)           1  2 0
11-12*KILLER JS (577)            1   2  0 33.3  11/12 PATH OF THE BLADE (558)   0  5 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     My apologies to one and all for the lack of Hammer Run for the Rollups Roll Call
updates in recent newsletters.  Other matters were occupying my space! -- Hammer
P.S.  Enjoy this issue's updated version!

HAMMER RUN for the ROLLUPS ROLL CALL
Round by Round Recognition
P-ad Approved Style Masters Listings
"Be Bold! Wager Gold!"
(P-ad declarations in parenthesis)
[Manager name/Stable name in brackets]

Rippers
     01.  Lucky Lady Hammer (T-440) [Hammer/Casino Hammerz]
     02.  W. (T-442) [Street Legal/Of Mythos And Men]
Lungers
     01.  Roulette Hammer (T-440) [Hammer/Casino Hammerz]
     02.  Hey, Zeus! (T-443) [Prophet/When Dogma Fails]
Strikers
     01.  Poker Face Hammer (T-441) [Hammer/Casino Hammerz]
     02.  Athena (T-442) [Street Legal/Of Mythos And Men] Died at the April Mailer
          2003 Rookies Tourney
     03.  Black Jack Hammer (T-443) [Hammer/Casino Hammerz]
     04.  Tommy Lee (T-444) [Philthy Phil/Jailbirds] Died T-448 DA
     05.  Poc (T-447) [Kellog/Pig Battalion] Died T-451
Pikers
     01.  Siren (T-442) [Street Legal/Of Mythos And Men]
     02.  Men (T-444) [Kellog/Pig Battallion] Died T-447
     03.  Canadian II (T-450) [Kellog/Pig Battallion] Died T-450 DA
Slashers
     01.  Light Da' Pyre (T-443) [Prophet/When Dogma Fails]
     02.  Spryte (T-444) [Dameon Darkheart/Obsidian Hall]
Total Parodys
     01.  Doctor Lecter (T-444) [Philthy Phil/Jailbirds]
     02.  Larry Flint (T-445) [Philthy Phil/Jailbirds] Died T-448 DA
     03.  Mirikle (T-447) [Dameon Darkheart/Obsidian Hall]
     04.  Heretic Barbeque (T-448) [Prophet/When Dogma Fails] Died T-450
Plungers
     01.  Tim Allen (T-444) [Philthy Phil/Jailbirds]
     02.  Coolhand Luke (T-444) [Philthy Phil/Jailbirds] Died T-446
Bashers
     01.  Repeat Offender (T-447) [Philthy Phil/Jailbirds]
     02.  Joe Friday (T-448) [Kellog/Pig Battallion]
     03.  Canadian (T-449) [Kellog/Pig Battallion] Died T-449 DA
     04.  Firsttime Felon (T-450) [Philthy Phil/Jailbirds]
     05.  Gotta Schtick (T-451) [Prophet/When Dogma Fails]
Wastes
     01.  Shocktart (T-449) [Distorted/Willy Wonka Inc.]

Attention:  Distorted/Willie Wonka Inc. and all other managers/stables!  Hammer Run
is for 0 FE Basic Arena Warriors ONLY.  Slugworth is a 14-11-0 Striker and Mike TV is
an 8-5-1 Lunger (when declared in the P-ads); therefore, neither of these warriors
qualify as contestants in the Hammer Run as announced in the P-ads for T-444.

     >)]H[(< + -----:----- + >)] The Free Cities #68 [(< + -----:----- + >)]H[(<

Riztab:

     "It's moved into the old office building on the waterfront," Spymaster Torric
said.  "The one with the old arena records in it, you know?"
     "They, not it," Jorja corrected absently.  "More than one monster or whatever.
But I wonder why the office building?  It seems so unlikely: the Office Building of
Doom or something."
     Torric laughed but said, "It wasn't always an office building.  Forty or fifty
years ago, it was a merchant prince's palace.  Then the merchant went broke--don't
ask me how, because I do NOT want to know--and Tokken Makrok got the building as part
of the, um, settlement of debts, I guess.  And when the arena opened, he sold the
building to the Gladiatorial Commission, and then the lake rose and drowned the lower
floor...."  He shrugged.  "But it was built on a much older foundation.  Hundreds of
years older."
     "What was it then, hundreds of years ago?" Jorja asked.
     "I've got no clue, I wasn't around then," the Spymaster said.  "Heck, I wasn't
even around when the merchant prince was going broke; I heard about that from my
grandfather."  He topped up his stein from the pitcher on the table.  "What are you
going to do about it?  And where's Garfield--isn't that the guy that with you?"
     "Garfield's got interests all over Alastari, you can't expect him to hang around
Riztab just to investigate a haunted office building.  And besides, why should I, he,
or we do anything at all about it?"
     "It worries people," Torric said.  "There are, well, there are...noises.  At
night.  And sometimes people vanish from the lakefront...."
     "They do that anyway--vanish.  The lakefront isn't the safest place in Riztab
after dark," Jorja pointed out tartly.
     "But--"
     "And if the building belongs to the Commission now, THEY should be responsible
for whatever is going on," she went on relentlessly.
     "But they won't DO anything!"  Torric slammed his tankard down onto the table.
     Jorja shrugged.  "I have my own matters to attend to."
     "At best," the Spymaster went on, "they'll assign some Lord Protectors to
investigate and if possible rid the place of its monsters.  Why wait?  Why not send
some of yours, or call for volunteers, if more are needed and you don't want to go
yourself?"
     "If the Commission sends someone, they'll have to pay expenses," Jorja said.
"If we start on our own, they won't.  And I'm just breaking even as it is."

Between Ibizond and Korga:

     Aghtamar, Zilla, and Cadal sat or knelt, as each preferred, in a shadowy cavern
formed by the drooping branches of a pine.  Cadal had vetoed a fire, but they had
food--thick slabs of bread topped with ham and cheese, and water to drink.  They'd
taken position well before sunset, in case the killer was out early looking for HIS
position of ambush.
     "He doesn't use the same one each time?" Aghtamar asked.
     "No.  There may be some repeating, judging by where the bodies have been found,
but some are too far apart to have been ambushed from the same spot.  There's been a
general progression from east to west, too, as though the killer was coming from the
east coast, maybe from Zuwayza, and heading for the west coast by way of Murska and
Fratsfa.  This seems like about the right distance from the last body--"
     "I just hope the killer doesn't decide this tree would make a good ambush spot
for HIM," Zilla muttered.
     There was a period of silence while the three Lord Protectors alternately ate
and leaned forward to peer through the branches at the road.  Their position was in
the bottom of a small valley where the road crossed a steep, rocky stream on an
arched stone bridge.
     "I wonder where the priests of Kjarran found the monster," Aghtamar asked in a
tone of idle curiosity.  "I wonder if they have any control over it, or if they just
pointed it west at Korga and turned it loose?"
     "You think the priests are responsible for this?" Cadal asked, surprised.
     "Of course," she said.  "Who else?"
     "Some of the invaders might have released something that was caged," Cadal
suggested.  "If it really is a monster of some kind.  If it's just a killer, it could
be anyone.  Besides, if it was set by the Kjarranists, you'd think it would leave
their people alone, and it hasn't.  Well, we can't be sure about beliefs, but all
races have been attacked."
     "The people of Karnhorn race who died might have been followers of Serimna,"
Zilla said.  "The priests of Kjarran hate Serimnists more even than Karragit or Orcs
or Shews.  More even than Elves."
     "It doesn't matter," Cadal said finally.  "Monstrous or mortal, it's a killer
and our job right now is to stop it."
     Aghtamar was taking her turn peering out at the road.  The sun was down, at
least as seen from this location, and the valley was filling with shadows.  She
stiffened and whispered, "Somebody coming!"
     "Fist of Kjarran?" Zilla asked.
     "No, someone coming from the east.  Someone on a horse."
     "Bad time and place for an innocent traveler," Cadal said, moving up to join her
at the edge of their shelter.  "So let's hope it's the killer looking for a place to
set his ambush."
     Zilla crammed the last of her bread and cheese into her mouth, muttered
something indistinct, and began to climb the tree, keeping close to the trunk and
spiraling upward out of sight.
     The road, which was used by traders' wagons as well as foot and horse traffic,
looped back and forth across the steep hillside to get an easier grade, so it most of
it was hidden behind the trees.  All could hear the hoofbeats, though.  One horse,
coming steadily at moderate speed.  The last stretch above the bridge was in the
clear, however, and still lit, more or less, by the ruddy light of the setting sun
reflecting off clouds above the valley.
     A shadow moved at the top of the visible length of road, resolving into a large
hound.  Two large hounds.  Too large to be hounds, but they weren't horses, bears, or
cattle.  The darkness at the edge of the trees stretched out an arm which advanced,
detached, and became a vaguely seen man, or something man-like, on a horse, or nearly
a horse.  A third hound followed on his heels.
     "The killer," Cadal said, his voice little more than a ghost of sound.
"Couldn't be anything else."
     "It could be human and I wouldn't mind," Aghtamar countered as quietly.
"Because THAT surely is no human or any other race I ever met."
     What little they could see of the figure on the horse seemed tall as a Shew but
skeletally thin.  The flame-colored light of the setting sun--or something--made the
eyes of horse, rider, and hounds all reflect redly.  One of the hounds stopped, head
up and turning slowly.  It looked directly at the tree where the gladiators were
hiding and then pointed its nose at the sky and loosed a howl that would freeze the
blood of a salamander.  The rider turned to look toward the tree also, raised a
hunting horn and blew it.  Above them, Zilla gave a startled shriek and slid down in
a shower of bark and needles.
     "We'd better get on the road," Cadal said urgently.  "We're in a trap if we try
to fight from in here."
                       ***     *****     ***     *****     ***
     The dog charged Fist of Kjarran without finesse, just came straight at him.  It
seemed to grow unnaturally as it came closer, from as big as a pony to a beast that
towered like an elephant, and it bayed continually.  Fist wondered in passing where
it found the breath to keep howling like that as it ran.  No doubt that it was an
unnatural beast of some kind!  He muttered a quick prayer, wished for a boar spear,
and knelt, bracing his sword to receive the plunging monster.
     At the last moment, its breath already cold on his face, the beast swerved to
pass Fist to his left.  Fist twisted quickly and managed to slash across its ribs,
though the cut was only a shallow one.  The dog twisted, too, whining with frustrated
eagerness to kill.  Fist got back on his feet so that he could turn and keep his face
and blade to the circling hound.  Why it didn't leap in to attack, he could not
imagine.  It backed up out of blade's reach and bayed at him.  The sound was
unpleasant, but that was all--what was the fool creature doing?
     It bayed again, with vibrato and tricky overtones.  Abruptly Fist guessed that
it was trying to frighten him.  What the heck?  Could it ONLY kill through fear, or
at least only physically attack those who had been unmanned by fear?  He lunged
suddenly, and it scrambled back out of the way rather than meet the attack and
attempt to fight.  Kjarran and Jayde!  It was like the old motto: the only thing to
be feared was fear itself.  He leaped to the attack again, pressing the infernal
hound relentlessly.  The hound dodged and twisted agilely, and whenever it had a
moment, it howled.  Not the hunting call, but the howl of a dog voicing its woes.
     It was answered by a hunting horn from farther down the valley, and for the
first time since he'd seen the hound, Fist of Kjarran again noticed the sound of
battle down there.  Apparently the hound was calling for help.
     Kjarran and Jayde!  A beast of prey that was at least twice his size and still
needed help to kill him was not something to frighten a child, much less a Lord
Protector!  But there was no telling, the help it summoned might be more formidable.
Better to take care of the hound now, at once, and not have to fight hound and helper
together.  Besides, his assistance might be needed down at the bridge where the other
Lord Protectors were fighting the hound's master.  He made a determined attack on the
hound, pressing it back with his thrusts and slashes, attempting to corner it against
the low bank at one side of the road.  It yelped, snapped, and lunged back at him
desperately.
     "Ah...I shoulda remembered," Fist muttered, dodging.  "Cornered rats and
all...."  He tried one last slash as the beast went by and laid open its hip to the
bone.  It screamed and fell.
     There was a wordless shout of fury from farther along, two human screams,
drumming hooves that approached his position faster than a horse should be able to
gallop up that slope.  Fist moved quickly to put his back to the low bluff beside the
road.  It would hamper his movement, but it would be a worse problem for the
horsemen; at least here he wouldn't have to worry about being ridden down.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                        ---===FREE BLADES REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   9 ZUKAL (turn 473): GWEN RYDER of DREAM PARK (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 471): CAT FANCY of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 467): INNERVISION of UNKNOWNS XX (Dark Spirit, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 467): PA ELL of WAY OF THE SWORD (Vhagar, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 465): PAN of DEITIES & DEMIGODS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 464): VOO DOO of UNKNOWNS XII (Dark Spirit, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 232): LUCKY LUCIEN of CANADIAN BACON (Firehawk, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 456): MR. YUCK of THE TAKEN (Stillgard, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 230): PHOENICIA of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 453): TROTLINE of FISHERMAN'S WHARF (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  33 ANASAZI (turn 451): OLD MAJOR of PIG BATTALION (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 444): KING BEAR of THE BEARS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 407): SUNGOD DESIGNED ME of WENSINWASIN (Youngblood, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 207): CAN'T BRING ME DOWN of THE SUNGOD XPERIENCE (SunGod)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 201): JUMBO MUMBO of SPOONERTIKS (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 188): MR. HOOPER of OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 332): BESOT of ACT OF MALICE (Carnage, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 312): THE BUM of FAVORITE GUYS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 137): JUSTICE of PEACE MAKERS (Solomon, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 357): NEMESIS of CHAMPIONS from JHELUM (Shadowgate, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM  9 ZUKAL (turn 473): CLAN O' WHOOPAS (?, mgr.)
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 471): DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 467): GREENWARDENS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 467): SILK AND STEEL (?, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 465): WHEN EAGLES DARE (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 464): DRAGON JUNKIES (Youngblood, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 232): BAD GERMS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  29 LAPUR (turn 456): THE GUILD (Guido, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 230): OVERLORDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
 DM  32 ARVAT (turn 453): DEVIL ADVOCATES (Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  33 ANASAZI (turn 451): WHEN DOGMA FAILS (Prophet, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 444): THE BEARS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  43 VEASTIAN (turn 407): THE FAMILY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  45 STORMCROWE (turn 207): MORDRED'S MADMEN (Abraxis, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 201): COFFEE RULES! (Mr. Coffee, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 188): OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  56 ROCANIS (turn 332): REDHORSE (Mila, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 312): FAVORITE GUYS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 137): WAY TO GO! II (Spawn, mgr.)
ADM 103 FREE BLADES (turn 357): MEOW MIX, etc. (Ultraist, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM  12 RIZTAB (turn 470): DOORSTOP of SWEET MAGIC (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  15 MALCORN (turn 466): DIRT KNAP of UNKNOWNS XX (Dark Spirit, mgr.)
 DM  16 WILLAF (turn 467): PA ELL of WAY OF THE SWORD (Vhagar, mgr.)
                           PAZUZU of THE BLACKHEARTS (Nunzio Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  17 ALJAFIR (turn 464): KILLIN' STU of MINIONS OF MILO (Kleptov Grenufelbitz)
 DM  19 ZUWAYZA (turn 463): KANDY KANES of CARNIVAL (Carny, mgr.)
 DM  28 MORYA (turn 231): BATMANNING (28-3402) CANADIAN BACON (Firehawk, mgr.)
 DM  31 CHIMLEVTAL (turn 229):ODYSSEUS of OVERLORDS (The Icelord, mgr.)
                               KRAC D'CHEVALIERS of THE STORMGUARDS (The Icelord)
                               BABBS BUNNY of LOONY TOONS (Rascally Rabbit, mgr.)
 DM  35 MURSKA (turn 443): BRIGIT of CHILDREN OF LLYR (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  47 NORTH FORK (turn 201): GRINNON BEARIT of THE BEAR'S PAW (KAT, mgr.)
                   (turn 200): ZEEL BEBUB of SPOONERTIKS (Spawn, mgr.)
                               INCREDIBLE SULK of DRAKE'S COMICS (Drake, mgr.)
                               MARY ANN of SCREEN DREAMS (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  50 SNOWBOUND (turn 187): CLOUDS AWAY of OPEN SESAME (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  61 JURINE (turn 311): ON MY WAY of SADISTS F2F (SunGod, mgr.)
 DM  73 ERINIKA (turn 137): JUSTICE of PEACE MAKERS (Solomon, mgr.)
                            SCRAG'S LIZARD of DARK CIRCLE PETS II (Guardian, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Normally I would use time to brag about managing the Duelmaster but it took me
almost 21 fights to learn how to fight him, so I'm not particularly proud of him and
somehow I have managed to drive Pig Battalion 11 fights under 500.  I'm not
particularly proud of that either.  I'll try to retain the throne to the best of my
ability; I shall not however, take the easy way out by bloodfeuding Roulette Hammer.
That to me would cheapen the victory and somehow the throne.  Old Major's challenge
will go to Apathy since he asked for it and I will wish Mad Dog, Squeeze Cheese and
Pandora luck should they get matched up for the title fight.  Why am I speaking
instead of Old Major, they're pigs and I haven't taught them to speak yet.

                    Kellog, Mgr. of Old Major

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster here with my bag to give you the news on last 
week's fights.  We now have a new top team for all of you guys to dogpile on.  
OBSIDIAN HALL now holds the crown and they are betting they can keep it.  Coming up 
with a solid 5-0-2 outing, OBSIDIAN HALL has advanced 3 places in the rankings.  Hey 
everybody, watch out for ANDY, who flew up 24 points in the rankings after mashing 
SQUEEZE CHEESE like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  And falling like a basher 
in the top ten was SNOWBALL, who dropped 11 points after a disappointing (to say the 
least) bout with LIGHT DA' PYRE.  What does the Duelmaster and Piltdown Man have in 
common?  They are both the most challenged apes in human history!  Heyheyhey!  APATHY 
got through to the Duelmaster this turn.  No doubt he was more than anxious to kick 
OLD MAJOR's tail out of the throne!  It's a proud day for the WHEN DOGMA FAILS 
stable, as their warrior, APATHY, ascended the Duelmaster's throne.  An apple a day 
keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps T.P.s at bay.   
     Here is other news that is of note.  Did you hear that WHEN DOGMA FAILS was most 
avoided team this week?  Well, knowing the personal hygiene of WHEN DOGMA FAILS' 
warriors, I'm not surprised!  For those of you who like math, try this one:  WHEN 
DOGMA FAILS + Weapons That go Boom = FOOD FIGHT + Avoid City.  In a touching display 
by a 'touched' warrior, RED HEAD went after DIGITALIS, who was higher by 23 points.  
Well, when the dust settled, RED HEAD was bested by DIGITALIS.   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  Ask not the elves for counsel, for they 
will say both yes and no.  Silly buggers, eh?   
     Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in ANASAZI have no 
sense of humor.  Or maybe that they were senseless.  Okay, so I may not be the 
world's best comedian, but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  Its been 
fun, and I'm sure you enjoyed it (boos).  Now that I've got you worked up for Snide 
Clemens, I'll be leaving-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 APATHY 6913                  16   8  0   107       WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-MAD DOG 4568                 11   7  1   102       CAVITY CREEPS II (398)
 PANDORA 6898                 11   7  1    98       OBSIDIAN HALL (192)
 ANDY 6769                    17  19  1    92       WILLY WONKA INC. (550)
 MIKE TV 6965                 12   7  1    91       WILLY WONKA INC. (550)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OLD MAJOR 3149               12  14  0    88       PIG BATTALION (226)
 SQUEEZE CHEESE 1302          19  22  0    85       FOOD FIGHT (10)
 GRUDGEBRINGER 6999           10   7  0    82       WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)
-ARANT 4604                    9   6  0    80       CAVITY CREEPS II (398)
 WILD CARD HAMMER 6864        16  14  2    78       CASINO HAMMERZ (576)
-SILK 6498                    12   8  0    70       PATH OF THE BLADE (558)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BRILL 6501                   10  10  0    66       PATH OF THE BLADE (558)
 DIGITALIS 6862               12  11  1    62       OBSIDIAN HALL (192)
 LIGHT DA' PYRE 7063           5   4  1    58       WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLACK JACK HAMMER 7081        5   4  1    50       CASINO HAMMERZ (576)
-TALOS 5919                    5   1  0    50       CAVITY CREEPS II (398)
 HEY, ZEUS! 7068               7   2  0    49       WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)
 SNOWBALL 3150                 9  10  0    46       PIG BATTALION (226)
 ROULETTE HAMMER 7044          6   3  2    44       CASINO HAMMERZ (576)
 IRON CHEF 6925                7   1  0    35       FOOD FIGHT (10)
 REPEAT OFFENDER 7122          4   1  0    35       JAILBIRDS (590)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DOCTOR LECTER 7097            7   1  0    33       JAILBIRDS (590)
 RED HEAD 6073                 4   5  0    33       CAVITY CREEPS II (398)
-VLAD 7119                     1   3  0    33       PATH OF THE BLADE (558)
 STUPOR 7094                   4   4  0    29       JOYS OF BOOZE (556)
 POKER FACE HAMMER 7057        5   4  2    28       CASINO HAMMERZ (576)
 SPRYTE 7101                   3   6  1    28       OBSIDIAN HALL (192)
 HAGGIS 6132                   6   8  1    27       FOOD FIGHT (10)
 DA SPINS 7011                 4   3  0    25       JOYS OF BOOZE (556)
 LUCKY LADY HAMMER 7043        3   6  1    24       CASINO HAMMERZ (576)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TIM ALLEN 7098                3   5  1    23       JAILBIRDS (590)
 JOE FRIDAY 7130               2   2  0    22       PIG BATTALION (226)
 MYRIKLE 7128                  2   3  1    21       OBSIDIAN HALL (192)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GOTTA SCHTIK 7151             2   0  0    16       WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)
 CHARLIE BUCKET 7095           2   5  0    11       WILLY WONKA INC. (550)
 ARNOLD Z. 7150                2   0  0    10       PIG BATTALION (226)
-JEFF THOMPSON 6884            1   1  0     8       KILLER JS (577)
 FIRSTTIME FELON 7140          1   1  0     7       JAILBIRDS (590)
 BLACK MARGOT 7153             1   0  0     6       OBSIDIAN HALL (192)
 TRUE GRITS 7143               0   2  0     2       FOOD FIGHT (10)
 LUFTSCHWEIN 7154              0   1  0     1       PIG BATTALION (226)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
MEATCAKE 7144          0  2 0 FOOD FIGHT 10         POKER FACE HAMME 7057 452         
MANSLAUGHTER 7139      1  1 0 JAILBIRDS 590         SPRYTE 7101           452         
MEAT 33 7155           0  1 0 PATH OF THE BLADE 558 ARENAMASTER KAGHA 243 452 NONE    
POC 7123               1  4 0 PIG BATTALION 226     ROULETTE HAMMER 7044  451         
HERETIC BARBECUE 7121  1  2 0 WHEN DOGMA FAILS 566  HAGGIS 6132           450 JUST REV
WONKATANIA 7132        0  3 0 WILLY WONKA INC. 550  STONE GOLEM 246       452 NONE    
SHOCK TART 7131        1  1 0 WILLY WONKA INC. 550  MYRIKLE 7128          452         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Hammer -- Obsidian Hall enters another SL, Black Margot, to the slashers
stylemasters. -- D. Darkheart

Jeff Thompson -- What exactly were you thinking there, tiny?  Just 'cause I have a
poor record at the moment doesn't mean I play nice against people of your style. --
Spryte

Hey, Zeus!!!  I'm beginning to see a pattern here, Sug.  The strange thing is I have
never been much for teaching but I may have learned one very exciting thing from you,
Hon! -- Digitalis

All -- Our beloved arena has dwindled down to just 12 listed stables with 8 of them
active last cycle.  No Spotlights from any of us active managers and only 3 P-ads.
How the mighty have fallen! -- Hammer

Ed. -- When does our beloved arena transform back to Niytyole Island from Anasazi
Arena? -- Hammer

     I don't recall off the top of my head, I'm afraid. -- Ed.

Hammer Runners -- Adepts features the inactive Total Parody Doctor Lecter; the active
Lungers Hey Zues! and Roulette Hammer as well as the active Striker Black Jack
Hammer.  Congratulations! -- Hammer

All -- This entry assures that DM 33 will feature more than only 3 P-ads this cycle!
-- Hammer

Hello, hello!  Aah...a small vacation away from the sands!  I am ready to whip up on
the dogs of The Isle!  Oh, Kellog...Terd Burglar, Poopyhead!  Some things just never
change. -- Distorted

Phil -- It is about time "order" is restored to the Island here.  Anarchy and Slander
runs amuck...what do ya say, chief?  I see the shadows of the AA looking. --
Distorted

Old Major -- Still have not laid down yet I see.  Go to Free Blades if you get the
nod to move on so I can slaughter you there. -- Slugworth

Hammer -- Please enter Luftschwein as a Waste and Arnold Z. as an Aimer in the Hammer
Run.  I sent in Arnold's personal last turn, but apparently HAL was dreaming. --
Kellog

19 August 2003
     Citizens of Ghea (only the ignorant fail to note Lirith Kai is not in Alastari),
no new day is rising, but the sun is setting on just another beautiful evening.
While you were sleeping, an irksome rabble has entered the always fair Aruak City.
Of course they fought alongside our warriors, most not so treasured, as all
gladiators do.  They drank with themselves, and slept with themselves.  Whether they
had masks, who cares.
     Warriors, don't be afraid.  For years Aruak has been one of the safest cities in
Ghea, and that custom has been continually cultivated, and will continue to be by
those who have called it home for years and those who live, fight, and die by the
same ethics.  There is no contest, nor has there ever needed to be one for many
years.  A conflict of personalities has arisen, and the city has been 'invaded' by
pests.
     Any rules that are annouced will be purely for the joy of the lemmings' own
little world.  Those who are being targeted have no interest in participating except
to defend the integrity of an arena that is different from others.  Whether you
choose to come to Aruak, do it for your own reasons, not theirs.
    Competing in Aruak City has never been for the faint of heart or the weak willed.
Combat is combat, wherever you go.  Blood will flow as always, and now many innocents
will be caught in the middle, but those who defend Aruak's traditions never target
those who bring respect of Aruaki customs with them to our home.
    So ignore the private ranting announcement brought by the stuporous
Frothingsloshers.  If you choose Aruak City, do not choose it for an unsanctioned and
bogus 'contest', choose it for the tradition.  Choose it because Aruak is different.

Defenders of Aruak

25 August 2003
To any that care -- The CDC is back; our current roster is:
     Malaquar -- Minion of Guardian
     Pip the Troll -- Burly Enforcer Type
     mouse -- Official Sneaky Bastard
     Papa Bear -- Elder Statesmen
                     The Sealer says, "Hi, I'm the dealer."
                     Papa Bear says, "It's not my f****n fault."
Guardian -- Paper Figurehead

9 September 2003
WE'RE LOOKING FOR A FEW GOOD MANAGERS!  If you think you have what it takes to match
wits and blades with some of the best managers in Alastari, then WE WANT YOU!  The
Tournament Of The Golden Scrod #4 will begin in Aradi (DM 60) the turn after the Fall
Mail-In.  It's not too late for you to sign up.  I realize that many of you may be
hesitant after seeing that myself and Hombre have teamed up again, but we'll try to
take it easy on you guys a little bit.  For more information on T#%S IV, please
contact me at ganolus@aol.com.  We're looking for a few good managers...the few, the
proud, the TOGS!

-- Ganolus Oakleaf, T#%S IV Commish

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

WONKATANIA was butchered by STONE GOLEM in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
MEAT 33 was butchered by ARENAMASTER KAGHAL in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
HEY, ZEUS! demolished HAGGIS in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud melee.
APATHY overpowered OLD MAJOR in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge Title duel.
LIGHT DA' PYRE bested SNOWBALL in a popular 1 minute Challenge fight.
RED HEAD was demolished by DIGITALIS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
JOE FRIDAY was savagely defeated by REPEAT OFFENDER in a 4 minute Challenge struggle.
CHARLIE BUCKET was defeated by GOTTA SCHTIK in a 1 minute Challenge melee.
SHOCK TART was slaughtered by MYRIKLE in a 4 minute uneven Challenge duel.
MEATCAKE was assassinated by POKER FACE HAMMER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
MANSLAUGHTER was savagely slain by SPRYTE in a 1 minute gruesome Challenge match.
PANDORA narrowly defeated GRUDGEBRINGER in a 2 minute brutal veteran's fight.
SQUEEZE CHEESE was devastated by ANDY in a 1 minute brutal mismatched conflict.
MIKE TV subdued WILD CARD HAMMER in a 2 minute bloody veteran's brawl.
DOCTOR LECTER was viciously subdued by BLACK JACK HAMMER in a 3 minute fight.
ROULETTE HAMMER devastated DA SPINS in a 1 minute brutal uneven duel.
IRON CHEF bested TIM ALLEN in a 2 minute brawl.
STUPOR devastated LUCKY LADY HAMMER in a tiresome 6 minute one-sided fight.
FIRSTTIME FELON luckily beat TRUE GRITS in a 2 minute novice's bout.
ARNOLD Z. defeated FRATSFA SLAVE in a 2 minute amateur's conflict.
LUFTSCHWEIN was viciously subdued by BLACK MARGOT in a 2 minute novice's bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|BASHING ATTACK                   7         BASHING ATTACK    26 -  18 -  1      59  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         WALL OF STEEL     20 -  15 -  0      57  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         STRIKING ATTACK   50 -  42 -  7      54  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         LUNGING ATTACK    42 -  41 -  3      51  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         PARRY-RIPOSTE     17 -  20 -  2      46  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         SLASHING ATTACK   15 -  19 -  2      44  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         TOTAL PARRY       23 -  31 -  4      43  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         AIMED BLOW         5 -   7 -  0      42  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         PARRY-LUNGE       15 -  24 -  1      38  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-STRIKE       2 -   6 -  0      25  |

Turn 452 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     3 -  4         2  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        2 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  3         2  PARRY-LUNGE    
STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  2     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  2         2  STRIKING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         1 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  3         2  BASHING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     3 -  3     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
                                                                1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    APATHY 6913                16   8  0  107 WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)
PARRY-LUNGE      PANDORA 6898               11   7  1   98 OBSIDIAN HALL (192)
LUNGING ATTACK   MIKE TV 6965               12   7  1   91 WILLY WONKA INC. (550)
BASHING ATTACK   GRUDGEBRINGER 6999         10   7  0   82 WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    WILD CARD HAMMER 6864      16  14  2   78 CASINO HAMMERZ (576)
SLASHING ATTACK  LIGHT DA' PYRE 7063         5   4  1   58 WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)
STRIKING ATTACK  BLACK JACK HAMMER 7081      5   4  1   50 CASINO HAMMERZ (576)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is ANDY 6769.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
BLACK JACK HAMMER 7081.  The ten other most popular fighters were REPEAT OFFENDER 
7122, OLD MAJOR 3149, MIKE TV 6965, BLACK MARGOT 7153, LIGHT DA' PYRE 7063, JOE 
FRIDAY 7130, PANDORA 6898, GRUDGEBRINGER 6999, TRUE GRITS 7143, and ARNOLD Z. 7150.

The least popular fighter this week was STUPOR 7094.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were LUFTSCHWEIN 7154, LUCKY LADY HAMMER 7043, DA SPINS 7011, DOCTOR LECTER 
7097, WILD CARD HAMMER 6864, SQUEEZE CHEESE 1302, MANSLAUGHTER 7139, MEATCAKE 7144, 
MYRIKLE 7128, and SHOCK TART 7131.

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn:

APATHY (33-6913) WHEN DOGMA FAILS (566)