DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 01/25/2007    Duedate: 02/07/2007

NIATOLI ISLAND ARENA

DM-33    TURN-540

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

THE MORTICIAN
BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)
(33-6209) [24-17-0,115]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

ACID BATH                      SLEEPER CELL
DEATH PENALTY (606)            HOMELAND SECURITY (618)
(33-7373) [15-1-0,128]         (33-7488) [2-1-2,31]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

THE MORTICIAN                  TASSADAR
BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)          NYE MAULERS (269)
(33-6209) [24-17-0,115]        (33-7473) [2-3-0,11]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. HOMELAND SECURITY (618)     51
2. VEGGIES (435)               44      DEATH PENALTY (606)
3. BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)       36      Unchartered Team
4. KLKASINO HAMMERZ (576)      30
5. DEATH PENALTY (606)         29      HOMELAND SECURITY (618)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 DEATH PENALTY (606)       54  32  6 62.8   1/ 1 BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)    11  4 1
 2/ 2 VEGGIES (435)            229 214 13 51.7   2/ 8*HOMELAND SECURITY (618)   7  7 2
 3/ 3 BAD COMPANY (145)        234 230 28 50.4   3/ 2 JAILBIRDS (590)           7  8 0
 4/ 4 BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)    492 485 47 50.4   4/ 3 DEATH PENALTY (606)       6  3 0
 5/ 6*HOMELAND SECURITY (618)    7   7  2 50.0   5/ 5 BAD COMPANY (145)         6  4 0
 6/ 5 KLKASINO HAMMERZ (576)   145 150 15 49.2   6/ 6 NYE MAULERS (269)         6  9 1
 7/ 8 RAVAGING LORDS (44)       95 141 13 40.3   7/ 7 KLKASINO HAMMERZ (576)    5 10 0
 8/ 7 JAILBIRDS (590)           47  72  6 39.5   8/ 9 VEGGIES (435)             3  4 0
 9/ 9 NYE MAULERS (269)        106 163 18 39.4   9/ 4 RAVAGING LORDS (44)       3  7 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

This spotlight makes as much sense here as it did in Talcama....

     It was a fairly average Tuesday.
     Suave sat on his exercise bike.  Or was it a rowing machine?  A Bowflex?  He
partially wished he remembered to keep the instructions--or even the box--for his
most recent Christmas gift.  Then again, what was TUM doing trying to get healthy in
the LBA?  Wasn't this an association predicated on Entemann's cherry cheese danish
and honey mustard pretzels?  Suave's biggest contribution to the health world was not
going outside with his shirt off on a sunny day; why ruin that now?
     As he repositioned a handle on the mechanical contraption, something snapped.
He couldn't determine if it was the equipment or a joint, so he quit while he was
ahead and went to the fridge for a cup of instant pudding.  Tuesdays were relatively
slow in Talcama, Arthur's ran like a sundial on a cloudy day, and life was generally
calm.  Until--
     CRASH!  Downstairs, something clattered to the floor.  Glass broke.  Something
else banged and if Suave wasn't mistaken, the bowling balls must have fallen out of
their case.  What else could cause such a cacophony?
     Suave scooped out tapioca goodness as he left his office.  Looking out over
Arthur's, it was somewhere between surprising and stupid:  Den.  The new manager
straddled a large horse where Table 15 used to be.  He dismounted and stomped a
leather boot through a chair.  "I am so totally going to dominate this worthless
place!"
     Suave set the remainder of his pudding on a banister and dismissed the wait
staff to the back room.  "Um...Den?  Can I help you?"
     Den pulled a megaphone from a saddle pack and announced, "I HAVE CONQUERED THE
BEST AND NOW I WILL DECIMATE THE REST OF YOU!"
     "Den?" Suave countered, "You do realize this is a tavern, don't you?"
     Den strutted across the floor, breaking anything and everything in his path,
until he stood inches away from the long-time Talcaman.  He raised the megaphone to
his mouth and declared, "SUAVE!  IT IS A CRIME THAT YOU STEAL OXYGEN FROM THE REST OF
US!  EVEN IF IT DOESN'T REACH YOUR BRAIN!"
     "Please put that down.  It's really obnoxious.  This is a bar. If you'd like a
drink--"
     "YOU SHALL FEEL THE WRATH OF MYSELF AND BILL!  YOU ARE POWERLESS TO STOP US!"
     "You're going to have to pay for all this damage.  This is Arthur's.  You can't
just ride a horse into a tavern, destroy stuff and walk away."
     "I CAN DO WHATEVER I PLEASE!"
     "No, Den.  You can't.  You can't earn respect.  You can't hold a reasonable
conversation.  You can't make the arena any better.  Hell, you can't even fight half
the people you'd like to because everyone avoids you.  Not just in the arena.  I 
mean, it's a good thing that you have Bill here in town because it must get lonely
when he's preoccupied."
     "YOU'RE TRYING TO MAKE A FOOL OF ME!"
     "Actually, Den, you have that covered.  Now if you could take your horse and
leave, I'll send you a bill."
     "BUT THE OTHER MANAGERS ADMIRE ME IN SECRET!  THEY SHIVER IN DISGUST AT YOUR
LOWLY--"
     "Go.  Please.  Take your horse with you."
     "YOU'RE NOT EVEN WITTY LIKE YOU CLAIM, SUAVE!  ANY SHARP MAN WOULD SAY TO DO
NASTY THINGS TO ME AND THE HORSE I RODE IN ON!  THAT'S AN EASY ONE!"
     "Put it in a letter, Den.  Mail it to me.  But please give me sufficient time to
respond; I'm a slow reader."
     "IF YOU IGNORE ME, I DON'T JUST GO AWAY!  IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE YOUR ARMY-BOOTS
WEARING MOTHER TOLD YOU!"
     "I'm not ignoring you.  I'm treating you with the same class that you treat--how
did you put it?  The 'Armpit of Alastari'?  If you don't like it here, then leave.
If you do like it here, by all means, stay.  Fight to kill.  Do whatever it is you
do.  But don't expect anyone to listen, respect, or care an iota about what you do.
Arthur's has been here for 15 years.  Many of the locals have been here just as long.
Now if you excuse me, I have to fix up your mess before the regulars come in.  It is,
after all, poke her night."
     "YOU'RE UGLY, SUAVE!"
     "Sure.  Whatever.  Please go now."
     "I WILL DOMINATE YOU IN THE ARENA, I WILL DOMINATE YOU IN YOUR GUILDHOUSE, I
WILL DOMI--"
     "Do us all a favor, Den, and dominate your laundry.  Thanks.  I can't say I
enjoyed this little conversation, but hopefully we both learned from this little
chat."
     "I KNOW EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW."
     "Just as I feared.  For that matter, just as I suspected."
     Suave reached up and yanked the megaphone from Den.  He snapped it in half over
his knee and shook his head.  "Listen, Den.  I'm going to say this one last time.
Talcama has established itself as a great arena full of past and present tournament
champions.  I have nothing to do with that.  Talcamans have sat on all the highest
thrones in the game.  I've had a handful of Tower Guardians and I don't play Primus,
so I take little credit there.  What have I done?  I've graduated nearly thirty
warriors here.  I've created a bulk portion of Talcama's history.  One thousand wins
may be a feat of longevity, but less than a dozen have ever accomplished it in ANY
basic arena.  Unless you've graduated an undefeated warrior, I've done everything
you've ever done in a basic arena.  So shut up.  Or, at the very least, entertain me.
Because you don't.  Your act is old and tired.  I'm unimpressed.  Good bye."
     With that, Suave returned upstairs to finish his pudding peacefully.  He closed
and locked his office door.  Moments later, Den banged loudly.  "LET ME IN!  I'M NOT
DONE!"
     "Of course you aren't," Suave whispered under his breath.  "Nor am I."
     With that, the mustachioed one reached into his mini-fridge and took a second
cup of tapioca.  What better way to spend a Tuesday?

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                                  NIATOLI NOTEBOOK
                                 Book the Fifth 540
                               by Hammer the WordSmith

"It is as sport to a [self confident fool to do wickedness, but to have skillful and
godly Wisdom is pleasure and relaxation to a man of understanding." -- Proverbs 10:23
Amplified

     HAMMER WAS DELIGHTED that the New No Tourney Arena known far and wide as
ShadowSpire Arena had debuted with 40+ active stables!
     Managers from Niatoli Island had seen the value of the entertainment of such an
arena and had sent stables to help make the ShadowSpire Arena a rousing success!
     Such a refreshing atmosphere with greater potential for the entertainment
dollar!
     True, the P-ads had been so unexpectedly sparse, but the promise of future
chatter from the ranks of 40+ stables would certainly spice things up in the arena!
     As for the Spotlights, those who had penned their energies for the arena debut
had done so with such grace and aplomb that the time spent was well worth the read
and were certain to pull on the hearts of many for an entertaining encore!
     There were even a select few who had promised to scribe some Spots for the
second round in the New No Tourney Arena Newsletter!
     Now the New Year was off to a grand and glorious start as Hammer turned his
attention back to Niatoli Island to observe what the future would hold for the
Beloved Isle!

"May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"
Hammer
Minister of War

                                      SPY REPORT

     Thankyouthankyou.  It's great for me, The Unknown Spymaster to be back in 
NIATOLI ISLAND.  Hope you enjoy the show.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I already got paid! 
A stormcloud is brewing over the RAVAGING LORDS guildhouse.  Rumor says any more 
weeks like this ones 0-5-0 may send the team to the Dark Arena.  Coming up with a 
solid 3-2-1 outing, HOMELAND SECURITY has advanced 6 places in the rankings.  Ya 
know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands.  RICO SAVVY was beat by 
SPICOLI and drops 10 points.  Well, everybody's pal THE MORTICIAN moved his record to 
24-17-0 by defeating SKULLCRUSHER in the Duelmaster's Title Bout and gaining 11 
recognition points.  An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps 
T.P.s at bay.   
     But enough of that bunch, let's get on to the wimps who like to avoid battle!  
Did you hear that BIG LAKE BANDITS was most avoided team this week?  Well, knowing 
the personal hygiene of BIG LAKE BANDITS' warriors, I'm not surprised!  For those of 
you who like math, try this one:  BIG LAKE BANDITS + Weapons That go Boom = RAVAGING 
LORDS + Avoid City.  Well dang howdy, but if challenges were votes, SPICOLI would be 
president.  Although it may be a contest he doesn't want to win.  Well, it looks like 
THE CRIPPLER wasn't happy with last turn's rank, so he went for broke by challenging 
up 27 points.  No guts, no glory.  A Carrion Bird Sellout:  THE CRIPPLER 16-9-7 
fights ACID BATH 15-1-0.  (BYOB) In a touching display by a 'touched' warrior, DUCK 
CREEK HAMMER went after SEXUAL PREDATOR, who was higher by 21 points.  Well, when the 
dust settled, DUCK CREEK HAMMER overcame SEXUAL PREDATOR.  THE ANVIL of RAVAGING 
LORDS had better have a good reason for challenging down 11 points in a challenge 
which he lost.  I thought THE ANVIL showed great skill and promise when he was beat 
by HARE CREEK HAMMER.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Being a spy is great--other people die and you spend the rest of the day 
drinking to their memory.  Better tanked than dead!  This week 5-9-3 BULL SIMONS was 
sent to the Dark Arena.  I know a lot of fighters with similar records who might take 
notice of this.  Well, just when you thought it was safe to put a new warrior in the 
arena.  No no!  BROKEN ARROW, a mere boy, was slain by SLEEPER CELL this turn.  
Congrats to FREEDOM FIGHTER for revenging the death of its teammate (but more 
importantly, feeding LORTAN FALCONEYE a bit of dirt).  Remember:  alliances are 
great, but try and take your ally in the arena with you and see what happens.   
     Well, there's the manager of the NIATOLI ISLAND giving me the 'cut' sign (or is 
that 'They're going to strangle you in the alley?).  Well, there goes another Spy 
Report.  Good luck in next week's fights.  See ya next time I'm on this circuit!-- 
The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE MORTICIAN 6209           24  17  0   115       BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ACID BATH 7373               15   1  0   128       DEATH PENALTY (606)
 SNORK SLAYMORE 6275          11  16  0   106       BAD COMPANY (145)
 EGGPLANT 7349                11   3  0   102       VEGGIES (435)
 SKULLCRUSHER 6155            15  11  1    97       RAVAGING LORDS (44)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TIM CAMPEAU 6360             18  12  2    86       NYE MAULERS (269)
 THE CRIPPLER 6188            16   9  7    86       RAVAGING LORDS (44)
 THE NEANDERTHAL 6222          9  13  1    70       RAVAGING LORDS (44)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE MURDERER 7421             9   2  0    66       DEATH PENALTY (606)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BALBASORE 6774               11   6  0    54       BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)
 SPICOLI 6637                  6  14  2    51       NYE MAULERS (269)
 ONSLAUGHT 7422                6   5  1    44       DEATH PENALTY (606)
 SOCIETY RED 7456              4   4  2    44       JAILBIRDS (590)
 TEDDY NASH 6742               5   7  0    42       BAD COMPANY (145)
 RICO SAVVY 6567               9  10  1    41       BAD COMPANY (145)
 CARWL GORESLICKER 7472        3   2  0    36       BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)
 CHAMP CHILSNER 7462           4   1  0    35       BAD COMPANY (145)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KILMOR 7450                   5   4  1    34       NYE MAULERS (269)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SLEEPER CELL 7488             2   1  2    31       HOMELAND SECURITY (618)
 SEXUAL PREDATOR 7241          9   3  0    30       JAILBIRDS (590)
 DUCK CREEK HAMMER 7360        2   3  0    29       KLKASINO HAMMERZ (576)
 VEXER 6387                    6   7  0    28       RAVAGING LORDS (44)
 FREEDOM FIGHTER 7492          2   0  0    25       HOMELAND SECURITY (618)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HARE CREEK HAMMER 7367        2   3  0    22       KLKASINO HAMMERZ (576)
 TERROR SUSPECT 7489           2   1  0    20       HOMELAND SECURITY (618)
 AAURICK SILVERSHOE 7464       3   2  0    19       BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)
 ACORN 7486                    1   0  0    19       VEGGIES (435)
 STATUTORY RAPIST 7458         3   4  0    15       JAILBIRDS (590)
 SUICIDE BOMBER 7502           1   0  0    14       HOMELAND SECURITY (618)
 FULL KETTLE HELM 7501         1   0  0    13       DEATH PENALTY (606)
 LORTAN FALCONEYE 7465         3   2  1    12       BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)
 BUCK CREEK HAMMER 7361        3   2  0    11       KLKASINO HAMMERZ (576)
 TASSADAR 7473                 2   3  0    11       NYE MAULERS (269)
 FIBBS FADERSKI 7500           1   1  0    11       BAD COMPANY (145)
 THE ANVIL 7460                2   4  0    10       RAVAGING LORDS (44)
 ACE HEARTS HAMMER 7493        2   1  0     7       KLKASINO HAMMERZ (576)
 BEAR CREEK HAMMER 7366        1   4  0     7       KLKASINO HAMMERZ (576)
 OBSTRUCTION 7499              0   2  0     2       JAILBIRDS (590)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
BEZERK HIPPIE 6569     9  8 2 BAD COMPANY 145       SKULLCRUSHER 6155     537         
BROKEN ARROW 7476      2  1 1 DEATH PENALTY 606     SLEEPER CELL 7488     540         
PERFECT DRUG 7475      1  1 0 DEATH PENALTY 606     SLEEPER CELL 7488     538         
ZIONIST 7503           0  1 0 HOMELAND SECURITY 618 SHEWISH GIANT 241     540 NONE    
HOMICIDE BOMBER 7490   0  2 0 HOMELAND SECURITY 618 LORTAN FALCONEYE 7465 539 JUST REV
AMERICAN TALIBAN 7491  0  2 0 HOMELAND SECURITY 618 KILMOR 7450           539         
FATHER NELSON 7480     1  3 0 JAILBIRDS 590         SHEWISH GIANT 241     540 NONE    
CAREER CRIMINAL 7169   5  6 1 JAILBIRDS 590         THE CRIPPLER 6188     536 NOT REVE
DEER CREEK HAMME 7362  1  1 0 KLKASINO HAMMERZ 576  BROKEN ARROW 7476     537         
BULL SIMONS 6753       5  9 3 NYE MAULERS 269       ARENAMASTER KAGHA 243 540 NONE    
CANDY YAM 7457         1  1 1 VEGGIES 435           BANDIT PRINCE 245     540 NONE    
STRING BEAN 7487       0  1 0 VEGGIES 435           GERELIN LOSTFIRE 239  540 NONE    
BANANNA 7504           0  1 0 VEGGIES 435           SPYMASTER 242         540 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Homeland Security -- Check your map of Alastari and tell me if you see America on it,
junior.  Anymore terrorist warrior names and your team will be hunted with extreme
prejudice.  That's why I see my dirty downchallenge last turn as justified.  Don't be
afraid to tell us who you are, nobody like a coward. -- Crambus, Nye Maulers

Den and Bill -- Good gods, you'd have gotten less of a point lead if I'd sent my
entire team to the DA.  I ran my fights through the paper shredder, you're next. --
Crambus

Niatoli Neighbors -- Greetings and Salutations to all you managers who sent stables
to the New No Tourney Arena known as ShadowSpire Arena! -- Hammer/Minister of War

Den -- Congratulations on your 5-0 last cycle -- Hammer/Minister of War

Crambus -- The best way to rid yourselves of my stable here in Niatoli Island is to
Kill a couple of my warriors that hold my interest for remaining active here! --
Hammer/Minister of War

Sweetie Pie -- And you are????  I believe that Niytyole Island's posting are for
managers that actually fight, thus building the arena coffers.  If you cannot fight,
don't participate, loser.  Besides, Hammer is not allowed to receive messages from
"outside" while we are in charge of his personal torment. -- Den

Crambus -- I can imagine the pearly yellers were hidden behind clenched lips last
turn, as you were taught a quick AA lesson, never bring a quarterstaff to a chainsaw
fight.  I predict another 0-5 for you this turn. -- Den

Homeland Security -- Three of your warriors were targeted for termination last turn.
Only one escaped.  Rest assured my simple little friend, the AA fulfills promises
eagerly, and your warriors will likely never see the Adepts class.  The theme behind
your team is not clever, actually quite the reverse, thus we take great pride in
killing your pathetic warriors.  You cannot imagine the glee in my screams when I
witnessed the first death, and please understand that when I was curled in the fetal
position holding myself tightly and bellowing with laughter I was certain of the
second death.  Understand small one, we will go to great lengths to bring misery,
pain, and sorrow to not only yourself but all that your cherish, which I am sure is a
bottle of lotion and a few lucid thoughts.  We are not kind men, seeing your
perpetual ineptitude propel us forward is like a small miracle.  Run from us tiny
little man and you will know defeat, for it will always be your companion. -- Den,
High Priest of the Allied Axis & manager of the Big Lake Bandits

Hammerhead -- The separation builds, as I know you love to quote stats, note that I
am now .9 percentage points ahead of your lot of crud (I prefer a different 4-letter
word, but was not certain it would be printed, but you get my drift).  Also note that
I have beaten one of your filthy warriors each turn, and will continue as long as I
draw breath.  In fact, if I miss a turn beating one of your simpletons I will
voluntary send a warrior to the DA, which is how certain I am of always oppressing
you.  The situation is grave Hammerhead; in fact I would even believe that Pontus
Pilot is in the workshop piecing together a crucifix, working diligently with a
whistle on his lips and a gleam in his eye.  Prepare to shriek in agony animal-lover
as you are hoisted into the desert sun, being punished for your sins against all that
the AA finds holy.  Also note, loser, the 5 awards given to the Big Lake Bandits last
turn, you will never see this feat in your life, for you cannot accomplish difficult
tasks.  Have a horrible day dough-head. -- Den

24 January 2007
The Council of Lords would like to propose a rule change in ADM and Primus.  We
propose that Lord Protectors ranked "Grand Champions" and below (ADM) and "The Tower
Guard" and below (Primus) be allowed to fight in the Dark Arena.  This would not
impact the top rankings or title match.  Any managers who never got his fill or shot
at fighting Gateway monsters would have it as an option.  We believe it might spark
some interest in the ADM/Primus realm for some managers.  If interested, speak up in
the newsletters or on forums under the "rules changes" thread and let RSI know.  This
could even be something to try for 12 months and then be re-evaluated.  What say you,
managers of Ghea? -- The Icelord sends....

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BULL SIMONS was butchered by ARENAMASTER KAGHAL in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
CANDY YAM was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a exciting 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
FATHER NELSON was easily killed by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
STRING BEAN was slain by GERELIN LOSTFIRE in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
BANANNA was viciously butchered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena fight.
ZIONIST was murdered by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena competition.
FREEDOM FIGHTER vanquished LORTAN FALCONEYE in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud fight.
TERROR SUSPECT was overcome by KILMOR in a 1 minute Bloodfeud fight.
BROKEN ARROW was easily killed by SLEEPER CELL in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud melee.
THE CRIPPLER was vanquished by ACID BATH in a 2 minute uneven Challenge fight.
TIM CAMPEAU was vanquished by SNORK SLAYMORE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
RICO SAVVY was beaten by SPICOLI in a 1 minute Challenge melee.
BALBASORE luckily beat SOCIETY RED in a 3 minute brutal Challenge fight.
CARWL GORESLICKER demolished STATUTORY RAPIST in a 1 minute Challenge competition.
DUCK CREEK HAMMER bested SEXUAL PREDATOR in a 3 minute Challenge battle.
THE ANVIL was demolished by HARE CREEK HAMMER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
AAURICK SILVERSHOE overcame TASSADAR in a 5 minute novice's Challenge conflict.
OBSTRUCTION was overpowered by FIBBS FADERSKI in a 1 minute uneven Challenge struggle.
THE MORTICIAN viciously subdued SKULLCRUSHER in a 3 minute master's Title bout.
EGGPLANT overpowered THE NEANDERTHAL in a exciting 1 minute brutal one-sided bout.
THE MURDERER overpowered CHAMP CHILSNER in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
VEXER was bested by TEDDY NASH in a popular 2 minute gory contest.
ONSLAUGHT viciously subdued CAPTURED ORC in a 2 minute veteran vs. beginner match.
BEAR CREEK HAMMER was devastated by FULL KETTLE HELM in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
BUCK CREEK HAMMER was defeated by SUICIDE BOMBER in a 1 minute beginner's fight.
ACE HEARTS HAMMER was vanquished by ACORN in a 3 minute one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  10         PARRY-STRIKE      17 -   9 -  0      65  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         TOTAL PARRY       28 -  20 -  1      58  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         PARRY-RIPOSTE      9 -   7 -  0      56  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      5         WALL OF STEEL     13 -  11 -  2      54  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   5         LUNGING ATTACK    35 -  34 -  6      51  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         STRIKING ATTACK   30 -  34 -  4      47  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  3         PARRY-LUNGE       17 -  21 -  2      45  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         AIMED BLOW         9 -  12 -  0      43  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         SLASHING ATTACK   11 -  16 -  2      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         BASHING ATTACK    12 -  30 -  1      29  |

Turn 540 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        2 -  3         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  3     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  5         2  PARRY-STRIKE   
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  4         2  STRIKING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  4         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  3         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  WALL OF STEEL  
                                                                1  SLASHING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
PARRY-LUNGE      THE MORTICIAN 6209         24  17  0  115 BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)
TOTAL PARRY      ACID BATH 7373             15   1  0  128 DEATH PENALTY (606)
PARRY-STRIKE     EGGPLANT 7349              11   3  0  102 VEGGIES (435)
WALL OF STEEL    SKULLCRUSHER 6155          15  11  1   97 RAVAGING LORDS (44)
LUNGING ATTACK   TIM CAMPEAU 6360           18  12  2   86 NYE MAULERS (269)
STRIKING ATTACK  THE CRIPPLER 6188          16   9  7   86 RAVAGING LORDS (44)
BASHING ATTACK   ONSLAUGHT 7422              6   5  1   44 DEATH PENALTY (606)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    CHAMP CHILSNER 7462         4   1  0   35 BAD COMPANY (145)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is THE MORTICIAN 6209.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was TASSADAR 7473.  The ten other most popular fighters were TEDDY NASH 6742, 
THE MORTICIAN 6209, ONSLAUGHT 7422, SOCIETY RED 7456, FREEDOM FIGHTER 7492, DUCK 
CREEK HAMMER 7360, EGGPLANT 7349, STRING BEAN 7487, ACID BATH 7373, and CARWL 
GORESLICKER 7472.

The least popular fighter this week was ACE HEARTS HAMMER 7493.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were BEAR CREEK HAMMER 7366, CHAMP CHILSNER 7462, THE NEANDERTHAL 
6222, OBSTRUCTION 7499, THE ANVIL 7460, SEXUAL PREDATOR 7241, STATUTORY RAPIST 7458, 
TIM CAMPEAU 6360, BROKEN ARROW 7476, and LORTAN FALCONEYE 7465.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

THE MORTICIAN (33-6209) BIG LAKE BANDITS (71)
SPROUTS SURPRISE (33-7357) TURKEY DAY CARNAGE (605)