Date   : 11/19/2014    Duedate: 12/02/2014


DM-35    TURN-735

This Weeks Top Honors


(35-4392) [9-2-1,139]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

(35-4392) [9-2-1,139]          (35-2152) [5-2-0,54]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

OISIN                          THAK BONESNAP
(35-4439) [18-25-0,87]         (35-4392) [9-2-1,139]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. HOUSE JHEREG (42)           46
2. 4-LETTER TUMS' (407)        33      HOUSE JHEREG (42)
3. FOOT OF PRIDE (396)         27      Unchartered Team
4. CHILDREN OF LLYR (141)      17
5. WEIRD STUDENTS (214)        17      4-LETTER TUMS' (407)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*4-LETTER TUMS' (407)       3   0  1  100   1/ 1 FOOT OF PRIDE (396)      10  4 0
 2/ 1 HOUSE JHEREG (42)        366 250 29 59.4   2/ 2 HOUSE JHEREG (42)         6  5 1
 3/ 2 HERO ALLIANCE (198)      185 132 15 58.4   3/ 3 CHILDREN OF LLYR (141)    6  8 1
 4/ 0 BATTLEAXE STAMPEDE (395)   9   7  1 56.3   4/ 0*4-LETTER TUMS' (407)      3  0 1
 5/ 3 FOOT OF PRIDE (396)      105  83  8 55.9   5/ 4 HERO ALLIANCE (198)       3  7 0
 6/ 0*WEIRD STUDENTS (214)      10  11  0 47.6   6/ 0*WEIRD STUDENTS (214)      2  0 0
 7/ 4 CHILDREN OF LLYR (141)   %1072 %1364 34 44.0   7/ 0 BATTLEAXE STAMPEDE (395)  1  0 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     Kathana raised her left foot and stomped behind her, hearing a satisfying grunt
as her booted heel connected with one or more of her attacker's piggies.  She felt
the hand's grasp on her wrist loosen so she followed up with a sharp elbow to a
midriff, eliciting a gasp and the removal of the hand from her mouth.  She spun and
stepped into a solid shove of the man behind her, who was already hoping on one foot
and holding the other.  He collapsed into a heap in the doorway and she considered
     "You ass!  You pusillanimous milquetoast!  You hermaphroditic--" she exclaimed
in anger.
     The figure before her doubled over, but held up an open hand between them in a
dulcet demonstration of tacet surrender.  Tears were streaming down his face and, had
it not been for the laughter erupting from his mouth, he might have generated more
     "And YOU," she spun, glaring at the figure across the table.  "Give me one
reason I shouldn't throw this Chanticleer in your face!"  She picked up one of the
glasses to ensure that there was no question about the seriousness of her challenge.
     Loftis grinned openly, shrugged with upturned palms and then pointed at the man
behind her.  "First, I was following HIS orders.  Second, that really is good wine
and it would be a crime to waste it in that fashion.  Third," he said as his grin
hardened, "I'll kick your ass if you do."
     She turned again to the man behind her.  "Well, Vlad, what do you have to say
for yourself?"  He was in hysterics and laughing too hard to reply.  She resolved not
to kick him again, at least not until she had a clearer shot at his mouth.

               *              *        *             *            *

     Neera wandered into Kat's room, making her way over to the wardrobe and flinging
it open.  "Help yourself to anything you want," Kathana had insisted, admiring their
similar builds.  Neera chose a doublet with a hint of lace at the wrist and topped it
with a soft grey jerkin.  She hungered after one of Kathana's gorgeous set of boots
but in the end settled for one of her matching grey cloaks.  Appropriately attired,
she headed downstairs to go and meet her friend who, like her, was just getting
started in the arena career.  They had agreed to meet at a local bar, Shiv's or
Shank's or something, and Neera did not want to be late.

               *              *        *             *            *

     Vilmos sat and stared morosely out from the front porch in the growing darkness,
glancing routinely up and down the street.  Kat had left almost an hour ago for her
meeting with Howling Wolf after hinting that, in terms clear even to Vilmos, an
absolute catastrophic end would come to anyone following her or otherwise suggesting
she was not capable of a walk down a Lapurian street alone.  While Vilmos was not
overly concerned for his own safety, he had agreed enthusiastically in the hopes it
would ease Kathana's mind.
     The screen door creaked open and the slammed shut.  "Hey there, little man,"
Neera grinned easily as she walked through the screen door onto the porch.  She and
Vilmos had gone through basic together and connected on many levels.  She admired his
coolness and, of course, his shoe size.  Neera looked up to Vilmi, even when, as now,
he sat.
     "Neera," he replied with a smile.  "Where are you off to?"
     "Do you remember Jenicor?  She was in basic with us a month or so back?"
     "Of course.  We made a good pair."
     Neera grinned.  Vilmos and Jenicor were as opposite as opposites go.  Jenny
might have come up to Vilmi's thighs on a good day.  "Yes, you do.  I am meeting up
with her for drinks.  She is looking for advice on her first team and wanted to pick
my brains for the low, low cost of 2 shots and 2 chasers.  Would you like to join us?
We're meeting up at that place on Twovine... Dirk's, Shiv's, Shank's, something like
     "I can't.  But thanks, though.  Give Jenny my best."  Vilmi had not changed his
position but, somehow, his back seemed to stiffen.
     "Vilmi," she said softly, "Kat will be fine.  But you keep watch for us.  Once
she's back, you come join us.  Deal?"
     He looked her up and down, admiring her outfit--even if it was Kathana's--and
nodded.  "Deal."

              *              *        *             *            *

     Across the street, in the shadows of an entrance to the butcher shop, a figure
watched the interchange between the giant and woman.  Glancing down at the crystal he
held in his hand, he concentrated until a slightly blurred image appeared to his
mind's eye.  It had to be Kathana.  Looking up, he saw his target make her way up the
street. He pulled a bludgeon, looked into around one last time, and strolled onto the
street a block behind his target and followed her towards Twovine.

               *              *        *             *            *

     "Criminy, then why DID you wake me up," Chaler exclaimed.
     "When Kathana didn't return by dawn, I walked over to the Foot of Pride
guildhouse and knocked on the door.  One of warriors came to the porch, looked me up
and down, and suggested I must be there to repair the recently-damaged door.  When I
asked for Kathana, he looked startled and denied understanding to what I was
     Chaler's eyes widened and he stood up quickly.  "You mean to tell me that--"
     "Yes, Foot of Pride insists that there was no meeting and, even if there was,
she never showed up."
     "Vilmos, let's go back over to that Guildhouse and demand some--"  A banging at
the door interrupted Chaler's thought.  He strode towards the door a couple steps
behind Vilmos.
     Vilmos flung open the porch door.  A nondescript messenger stood on the porch.
"What is it?"
     "This is House Jhereg?" the messenger asked, pronouncing the name as if he had
never heard it.
     "Yes, yes.  It is.  Do you have a message?"
     "I do," the messenger replied, handing over the message and making his way
briskly off the porch.
     "Wait," Vilmi exclaimed as Chaler seized the message from his hand and ripped it
open.  "Are you not to await a reply?"  The messenger disappeared into the early
morning crowd without a backwards glance.  Chaler paled as he read the missive.
     "Vilmos?" Chaler asked cautiously.
     "It would please me if you would be so kind as to secure whatever arguments you
have within easy reach and follow me."

           *              *        *             *            *

     Chaler looked at the body, looked away and then looked back.  Neera, if what
remained could even be attributed to her in good conscience, had been professionally
beaten and broken.  In Chaler's professional opinion--after all, what's the point of
a professional opinion if you can't have one in these sorts of circumstances--the
work on Neera had been done over the course of several hours before her body was
dumped here, behind Shanky's bar.  Her head had been staved in, her arms and legs
broken both above and below the joints.  Her face represented a blue and yellowish
mottling that, under other circumstances and on a different canvas, might have been
     Chaler spared a glance at Vilmos and then wished he hadn't.

                                      SPY REPORT

     The sages err'd not in their foretelling of a god descending upon MURSKA, for I, 
Novgorodny Vir, have returned!  I doubt many are quaking in their boots, but 4-LETTER 
TUMS' comes out of nowhere to get 3-0-1.  What does the future hold?  Watch this 
space...  Practice pays for KATHANA, who pummelled STASIS, to pocket 29 points.  Win 
some, lose some.  Speaking of which, JENICOR was winsome, after beating DIRK and 
seeing it lose 8 points.  Now I can't insult THAK BONESNAP, as he has gloriously 
dueled to the top.  Oh great new Duelmaster!!!  (Stop me if I lay it on too thick) So 
who's the team that's been walking into taverns last week and ordering milk?  Sounds 
like a PR stunt to me.   
     A Zenmaster once told me, 'Does not the spinning wheel turn?  And do not the 
little birds cry out?'  Any ideas?  Like a horde of jackals fleeing from the lion, so 
did the "warriors" in MURSKA avoid HERO ALLIANCE.  The warriors of HERO ALLIANCE 
found their efforts at combat frustrated as HOUSE JHEREG apparently had more 
important things to do than fight.  Everyone is famous for fifteen minutes, and 
STASIS is it right now.  Most challenged warrior.  Isn't HERO ALLIANCE proud!  PALUG 
found himself challenged by a warrior 21 below:  CHALER.  CHALER of HOUSE JHEREG kept 
its wits as it was overcame by PALUG.   
     Ah, the duel!  The roar of the oppenent, the smell of the crowd!  KATHANA of 
HOUSE JHEREG sends STASIS of HERO ALLIANCE goes to the Weary Warrior's Retirement 
Home.  MURSKA has no place for weaklings!  Ask not a spymaster for counsel, for he 
will pontificate long after you have fallen into an unconscious stupor.   
     All good things must come to an end.  As if buffeted by forces of nature beyond 
my control, I must take my leave of this place.  Can anything compare to the pleasure 
of writing Spyreports for MURSKA?  On that giddy note I take my leave-- Novgorodny 

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THAK BONESNAP 4392            9   2  1   139       BATTLEAXE STAMPEDE (395)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 A MAN 4521                   13   4  1   111       FOOT OF PRIDE (396)
 FIXED DRINK 4529             13   2  0    99       FOOT OF PRIDE (396)
 DANNY BOY 4424               27  13  0    98       FOOT OF PRIDE (396)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KATHANA 3553                  8   4  2    90       HOUSE JHEREG (42)
 OISIN 4439                   18  25  0    87       CHILDREN OF LLYR (141)
 FREAKAZOID 2784              12   6  1    84       HERO ALLIANCE (198)
 TURNING BACK 4548            12   2  0    77       FOOT OF PRIDE (396)
 PALUG 4509                   12  10  1    68       CHILDREN OF LLYR (141)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MAD MAXINE 2152               5   2  0    54       WEIRD STUDENTS (214)
 VILMOS 4579                   5   0  0    46       HOUSE JHEREG (42)
 CHALER 4572                   6   3  0    44       HOUSE JHEREG (42)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PELIGRO 2846                  4   2  0    33       HERO ALLIANCE (198)
 LOFTIS 4571                   2   4  0    31       HOUSE JHEREG (42)
 LITTLE TOMMY 4566             6   5  0    30       CHILDREN OF LLYR (141)
 PADRIAG 4556                  5   9  1    29       CHILDREN OF LLYR (141)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MUTANT MAN 2150               3   4  0    19       WEIRD STUDENTS (214)
 JENICOR 4593                  1   0  0    16       HOUSE JHEREG (42)
 HARV 4587                     1   0  0    13       4-LETTER TUMS' (407)
 DRAT 4588                     1   0  0    13       4-LETTER TUMS' (407)
 DIRK 2852                     3   2  1    12       HERO ALLIANCE (198)
 WBTS 4586                     1   0  1     7       4-LETTER TUMS' (407)
 NICHOLAS 2994                 1   1  0     7       HERO ALLIANCE (198)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
SIANA 4591              0  1 0 CHILDREN OF LLYR 141 WBTS 4586             735   
DA1 4592                0  1 0 FOOT OF PRIDE 396    MOUNTAIN TROLL        735  NONE
FUNERAL 4576            1  1 1 FOOT OF PRIDE 396    KATHANA 3553          731  NOT REVENGED
STASIS 2392            18 21 1 HERO ALLIANCE 198    KATHANA 3553          735   

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Vilmos -- You could try re-selling them. -- Tommy

House Jhereg -- Thank you.  I propose to enjoy it! -- Colleen

Vlad -- Ah!  Beggars, guards, thieves, etc, my favorite opponents!  I suppose we
could all avoid each other so as to increase the odds of drawing one of those tired
old standbys.  Not sure the handicapper would go along with that, though. -- Jorja

Three-one and the new member not showing up.  What a slug! -- Oisin

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

DA1 was dealt death by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
KATHANA dispatched STASIS in a 2 minute Challenge battle.
CHALER was viciously subdued by PALUG in a popular 4 minute gruesome Challenge match.
DANNY BOY was bested by THAK BONESNAP in a popular 5 minute veteran's Title contest.
OISIN was devastated by A MAN in a 1 minute uneven brawl.
FREAKAZOID was defeated by FIXED DRINK in a exciting 1 minute struggle.
TURNING BACK devastated CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
LOFTIS was vanquished by MAD MAXINE in a 1 minute uneven duel.
VILMOS unbelievably bested PELIGRO in a action packed 3 minute gruesome fight.
PADRIAG overpowered PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
LITTLE TOMMY handily defeated EMBEZZLING SCRIBE in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
MUTANT MAN subdued NICHOLAS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute match.
DIRK was overcome by JENICOR in a 2 minute novice's contest.
HARV demolished CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
DRAT handily defeated CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
SIANA was dispatched by WBTS in a 2 minute amateur's bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   7         TOTAL PARRY       14 -   5 -  0      74  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  5         BASHING ATTACK    14 -   6 -  0      70  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         LUNGING ATTACK    28 -  20 -  4      58  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      4 -   4 -  0      50  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   2 -  1      50  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         WALL OF STEEL      5 -   5 -  0      50  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         SLASHING ATTACK    7 -   7 -  0      50  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         AIMED BLOW         6 -   7 -  0      46  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         STRIKING ATTACK   11 -  16 -  0      41  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   0 -  0       0  |

Turn 735 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         2 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  3         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  1     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0         2  BASHING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  3     TOTAL PARRY        0 -  2         2  SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1                                       1  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   A MAN 4521                 13   4  1  111 FOOT OF PRIDE (396)
LUNGING ATTACK   FIXED DRINK 4529           13   2  0   99 FOOT OF PRIDE (396)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      DANNY BOY 4424             27  13  0   98 FOOT OF PRIDE (396)
SLASHING ATTACK  MAD MAXINE 2152             5   2  0   54 WEIRD STUDENTS (214)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is OISIN 4439.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
THAK BONESNAP 4392.  The ten other most popular fighters were PALUG 4509, PELIGRO 
2846, CHALER 4572, DA1 4592, KATHANA 3553, DANNY BOY 4424, FIXED DRINK 4529, MUTANT 
MAN 2150, DIRK 2852, and WBTS 4586.

The least popular fighter this week was LOFTIS 4571.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were OISIN 4439, SIANA 4591, DRAT 4588, FREAKAZOID 2784, STASIS 2392, HARV 
4587, JENICOR 4593, LITTLE TOMMY 4566, PADRIAG 4556, and MAD MAXINE 2152.

                  MAIL-IN TOURNEY LVIII

PRIMUS TOURNEY                         W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
TOM THUMB 3791 (145-69-1)              7  3  0         THE BEARS            
GOSSAMER 3656 (87-62-1)                2  3  0         MMM BEER             

ELIGIBLES TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
NOREASTER 3896 (94-39-2)              12  3  0         DIRT DEVILS          

CHALLENGERS TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
TORTURE 4368 (8-4-0)                   6  3  0         LEGIONS OF HELL      

INITIATES TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
KATHANA 3553 (7-3-1)                   3  3  0         HOUSE JHEREG         
EXECUTUS 4537 (3-1-0)                  2  3  0         BLACK COLOSSUS       
CHALER 4572 (5-2-0)                    0  2  0         HOUSE JHEREG         

APPRENTICES TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
LOFTIS 4571 (2-2-0)                    0  2  0         HOUSE JHEREG         
VILMOS 4579 (3-0-0)                    0  2  0         HOUSE JHEREG         

ROOKIES TOURNEY                        W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
NEERA E'LANYA 4578 (0-0-0)             0  1  0  DEAD   HOUSE JHEREG         

DEAD CHALLENGERS TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
ADRON 1017 (17-10-1)                   0  2  0         HOUSE JHEREG         
MORROLAN 787 (14-9-0)                  0  2  0         HOUSE JHEREG         

DEAD ADEPTS TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
SOMETHING WICKED 1875 (12-5-3)         2  3  0         HOUSE JHEREG         
ADVOUTRER 1836 (6-4-0)                 0  2  0         HOUSE JHEREG         

DEAD INITIATES TOURNEY                 W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
STARCORP MAN 2348 (1-2-0)              4  3  0         HERO ALLIANCE        

DEAD APPRENTICES TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
THE EDITRIX 1790 (3-1-1)               4  3  1         HOUSE JHEREG         

                             * * * * *   MEMO  * * * * *

From:       The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission
To:         All Managers

In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's 
cramp, census forms will be provided for warriors by request only, effective 
immediately.  Managers may register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by 
simply writing them on a separate piece of paper and submitting them to the 
Commission.  Each warrior may have up to 15 favorite sayings.  Each saying must be 
categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch, Victory and may be up to 80 characters long.  
For any questions, please contact the Gladiatorial Commission.