Date   : 12/25/2003    Duedate: 01/07/2004


DM-36    TURN-446

This Weeks Top Honors


(36-3965) [5-6-1,47]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

MAC                            RAVAGE
BLITZKRIEG (271)               THE FALLEN (524)
(36-3965) [5-6-1,47]           (36-5993) [3-1-0,29]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

KERRY BEAR                     DEATH STRYKE
BLITZKRIEG (271)               THE BREW CREW (526)
(36-3994) [5-3-0,28]           (36-6019) [0-2-0,2]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. THE BREW CREW (526)         32
2. BLITZKRIEG (271)            24      HELTER SKELTER (256)
3. THE DREAMING (529)          22      Unchartered Team
4. SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)       22
5. SHATTERED DREAMS (527)      16      THE BREW CREW (526)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     37  23  5 61.7   1/ 1 BLITZKRIEG (271)         12  3 2
 2- 3 THE TAO (326)             95  72 12 56.9   2/ 3*THE FALLEN (524)          7  8 1
 3- 5 BABES (416)              197 174  6 53.1   3/ 6*THE BREW CREW (526)       5  5 0
 4/ 6 HELTER SKELTER (256)     491 468 29 51.2   4/ 2*SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     5 10 0
 5/ 8 BLITZKRIEG (271)         113 111 12 50.4   5- 4 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     4  2 0
 6/ 2*THE BREW CREW (526)        5   5  0 50.0   6/ 7 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515)  3  9 0
 7/ 9 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515)  46  50  7 47.9   7- 5 BABES (416)               2  2 0
 8/ 7 BARNYARD BRUTES (414)     18  20  0 47.4   8- 9 THE TAO (326)             2  3 0
 9/10*THE FALLEN (524)           9  11  1 45.0   9/ 0*THE DREAMING (529)        2  3 0
10/ 4*SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)      9  11  1 45.0  10/14 ILL STRATEGY (478)        1  1 0
11/12 ILL STRATEGY (478)         8  10  0 44.4  11-10 ERRATA (490)              1  1 0
12/ 0*THE DREAMING (529)         2   3  0 40.0  12/13 HELTER SKELTER (256)      1  3 0
13-13 ERRATA (490)              17  35  1 32.7  13/11 BARNYARD BRUTES (414)     1  3 0
14/14*SHATTERED DREAMS (527)     1   9  1 10.0  14/12*SHATTERED DREAMS (527)    1  9 1

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

          + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Dark Federation #2 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +


     "That is a fight you cannot win, Princess Morra," Chancellor Ethylbyrr said.  He
leaned forward to emphasize his point, one hand on the report that had sparked the
discussion.  "It is better not to enter a battle you cannot win."
     "Darron wouldn't--"
     "Princess, your brother is no longer a boy, he is a young man now," the old man
said.  "He will not be pleased to receive...advice from his older sister, much less
commands.  Even without his new friends, he would be reluctant to--"
     "All right, you've made your point."  She looked away.  Looked out the window
across the city of Jhans, but she didn't really see it.  Didn't want to see it, if
the truth be told.  She was surprised to realize that what she really wanted to see
at this moment was her husband, Gryzash the Golden.  She had not felt strongly about
him one way or the other, theirs had been a marriage of political expediency.  But
Gryzash was--had been--a confident, decisive man.  One whose very presence would awe
these quarreling nobles of Jhans into obedience.  Unfortunately, Gryzash was dead.
Her thoughts shifted briefly to their son, Gorris.  She might have stayed in Jhans to
fight the treacherous 'advisors' of her brother, except...it was her first duty to
protect her son and defend HIS heritage.  Let Prince Darron worry about Jhans now.
It was time for her to leave him to it, for good or ill.
     "I must take Gorris to Sibikhas," she said finally.  "That is where my duty lies
now.  That city is his to rule, by rights, but it is easier to hold onto power than
to win it back after it's been lost.  Will you stay here and advise Darron?"
     Ethylbyrr laughed sadly and shook his head.  "The boy--the young man--wouldn't
have me," he said.  "His new friends won't want to share the influence, and...I am a
reminder of his youth.  Which he would prefer to forget as he strives to become a man
in his own eyes."
     "If you remain in Jhans without a royal post, your life won't be worth--"
     "It will be worth nothing at all," the old man said.  "I will be dead by the
time you clear the city's gates."
     She nodded.  There was no mercy in the Delarquan Federation for someone who fell
from power.  "Come with me to Sibikhas, then.  It would be a shame to waste your wit
and experience, old friend."
     The old man half rose from his seat across the table and bowed.  "I would be
honored to serve you in Sibikhas or elsewhere, Princess."  Seating himself again, he
said, "But you cannot simply decide to leave Jhans and then go.  You will need, at
the very least, bodyguards.  The Jhans Royal Guard you cannot take with you--they
belong here and will provide some protection from Darron, if he does not run
completely mad and dismiss them.  So you will need--"
     "Gladiators," she said firmly.  "Two or three, at least, as many as half a dozen
perhaps.  They are--"
     "They are crude men, for the most part," Ethylbyrr protested.
     "So?  They are less likely than any others to have political axes of their own
to grind.  I will have gladiators for bodyguards."  She grimaced.  "I will need

This is a call for volunteers.  A personal, or an email to Livia@reality.com will do

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 484): WISPER of SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 370): MORADOR of RESURRECTION (Shocking Toad, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 485): LYSISTRATA of DOGS OF WAR (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 484): FREDERICK DOUGLASS of I'M HISTORY (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 488): IVANMOE of SOUL STRIPPERS II (Saucy Jack, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 486): POPCORN MACHINE of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 480): KEPLER of THE MOONDOGS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 472): PROVIDENCE of SUPERIOR FORCES 6N (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 471): TSUNAMI of STORM WARNING (Abarsis, the Slaughter Priest)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 445): KATHLEEN of BABES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 436): NUTCRACKER of ALL FINESSE (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 189): ZOOLANDER of WITLESS WONDERS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 422): DRAXUS BREMOORE of FLAGG'S FIVE (Flagg, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 371): DROGOI of DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 175): BIRAN of THE WHITE COMPANY (Silverstroke, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 163): LUCIA of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 320): BLACK WIDOW of SLAUGHTERHOUSE 5 (Soultaker, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 141): 2 PHAT of VERMIN (Sultan, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 364): DOONE of FLAGG 16 from RODEKI (Flagg, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 484): BLOOD AND IRON (Polarius, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 370): KNOT WHOLE (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 489): SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 485): DOGS OF WAR (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 484): I'M HISTORY (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 488): DARK PANTHEON (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 486): WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 480): THE MENTORS (Dr. Feelgood, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 472): CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 471): BOOK OF STINK (Kleptov Grenufelbitz, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 445): BLITZKRIEG (Polarius, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 436): EAGLES CLAW (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 189): CHEAP SHOTS (?, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 422): FLAGG'S FIVE (Flagg, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 371): DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 175): INDULGENT DRINKS (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 163): THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 320): none
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 141): EPOCHOLYPSE (Brewmaster, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 364): DARK PANTHEON (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 370): MORADOR of RESURRECTION (Shocking Toad, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 489): GO FISH of GAMES LIBRARY (Nick, mgr.)
              (turn 488): THE MAN of FAMOUS HITTERS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 488): IVANMOE of SOUL STRIPPERS II (Saucy Jack, mgr.)
                (turn 487): GRIZZLY ADAMS of BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 486): POPCORN MACHINE of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
                           SATOSHI KUNO of NINJAS (Shocking Toad, mgr.)
               (turn 485): ISHINOMORI of NINJAS (Shocking Toad, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 472): PROVIDENCE of SUPERIOR FORCES 6N (Manager, mgr.)
                (turn 471): PEOPLE'S ELBOW of UNTOUCHABLES (Angus, mgr.)
                            ACK VERT of PENTARCHIE-18 (The Pentalque, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 435): EAGLE'S NEST of EAGLES CLAW (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 175): BIRAN of THE WHITE COMPANY (Silverstroke, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 163): LUCIA of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
                          GHASTLY MIGRAINE of HANGOVERS (Crip, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     I was going on vacation, see?  Surf, sun...  But what do those bums say?  "Hit 
the road, Debby Tonte.  JHANS needs a spyreport."  Oh, well.  ILL STRATEGY like 
really fought hard to move up to 10th from 14th.  Way to go!  Did you see THE 
DREAMING out on the sands?  Their first try at fighting got them a 2-3-0, but I think 
they've got real promise.  What a putz!  KATHLEEN fights so hard to be Duelmaster, 
then quits fighting and loses the title.  No one said she was a genius...  Was that a 
tear I saw in MAC's eye, as he took over Duelmastership?  And wasn't SHADOW STARR fit 
to be tied!  Who was the wiseguy that said JHANS' Duelmaster was paying for drinks at 
Lucas Lounge?  Don't look at me!   
     I gotta admit I haven't been in "deep con caves" with any spies.  Really, I just 
wing this stuff.  BLIND HYPOCRISY was the most avoided team.  Is a 37-23-5 record 
really that scary?  Hhmph!  What kind of warriors are THE FALLEN?  BLIND HYPOCRISY, 
an easy team to beat if I ever saw one, can't get them to accept an invitation!  Can 
LITTLE GIRLS LIKE...'s CHEETAH GIRL be more popular than me?  She was challenged the 
most, but is that really the same?  HUGGY BEAR must not be a good enough fighter to 
get in fair fights.  He challenged BROWN KITTY.  11 is a big difference.  (Well, 
that's what they tell me.) I thought HUGGY BEAR showed great skill and promise when 
he was bested by BROWN KITTY.  All right, so I slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Man, all these warriors dying and killing each other!  Don't you guys ever give 
it a break?  Hey!  Quit laughing!  Just because YASMIN OF BRATZ had 9-3-2 was no 
reason for LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... to send him to the Dark Arena!  Stop it!  Everyone 
has problems, but why did LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... send YASMIN OF BRATZ to the Dark 
Arena?  He had a 9-3-2, and I thought he looked neat on the sands...  What if they 
had a fight and nobody showed up?  I'd be out of a job, that's what!!!   
     Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain.  Soak it in cold water, and hand 
wash.  I know how much you like reading this stuff, but I really should stop.  I had 
a fun time, see you later-- Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MAC 3965                      5   6  1    47       BLITZKRIEG (271)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-POSTMASTER P 5182            20  11  0   133       HELTER SKELTER (256)
-MORNING MIST 4520            10   1  0   124       THE TAO (326)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-KATHLEEN 5865                14   7  0    80       BABES (416)
-HALO 14 5711                 11   9  1    71       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
-BROKEN MIRROR 5849            7   5  0    71       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PINK BEAR 5883               13   7  1    58       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TROJAN MAN 5710               6   2  2    53       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 THE MAESTRO 5239              5   6  0    46       ILL STRATEGY (478)
-DONNA 5966                    4   2  0    39       BABES (416)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-FINGER LICKIN GOOD 5240       3   4  0    33       ILL STRATEGY (478)
 RAVAGE 5993                   3   1  0    29       THE FALLEN (524)
 KERRY BEAR 3994               5   3  0    28       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-GRADY 5173                    4   1  0    24       BARNYARD BRUTES (414)
-CONFESSION 6003               2   0  0    24       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PALADIN 5410                  4   6  0    23       ERRATA (490)
-CLOVER 5959                   2   4  0    23       ERRATA (490)
-ARACHNE 5712                  1   0  0    21       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 BROWN KITTY 6009              1   2  0    20       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 KANE 6020                     2   0  0    19       THE BREW CREW (526)
 TANTRIC 6036                  2   0  1    17       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-AXION 5411                    2  10  0    16       ERRATA (490)
 JEALOUSY RAINS 5995           2   2  1    15       THE FALLEN (524)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KIMBERLI 5998                 2   2  0    15       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 UNION JACK 6015               3   0  0    14       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 LUCIFERI 6018                 2   0  0    14       THE BREW CREW (526)
 TIKI BOB 6004                 4   1  0    13       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-FRANKENSLOSH 5901             3   1  0    11       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 SKIRZA SLAPSTIK 5996          2   2  0     9       THE FALLEN (524)
 SHAWNDA 6032                  1   0  0     9       THE DREAMING (529)
-RUBICON 5317                  1   6  0     9       BARNYARD BRUTES (414)
-FALLING RAIN 5075             1   0  0     9       THE TAO (326)
 SHADOW STARR 5999             2   2  0     8       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 HUGGY BEAR 6002               2   2  0     8       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 GONE COUNTRY 6011             1   2  0     8       BARNYARD BRUTES (414)
-SHIRLEY D 5986                0   1  0     7       BABES (416)
 CLURACAN 6035                 1   0  0     6       THE DREAMING (529)
 CLUTCH SHUTTLE 6060           1   0  0     5       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 BADDA BANG 6013               0   3  0     3       THE FALLEN (524)
 DEATH STRYKE 6019             0   2  0     2       THE BREW CREW (526)
 DARK ANGEL 6025               0   2  0     2       SHATTERED DREAMS (527)
 KRAZY KLOWN 6023              0   2  0     2       SHATTERED DREAMS (527)
 PSYCHO 6017                   0   2  0     2       THE BREW CREW (526)
 SCOOBY DOO 6012               0   2  0     2       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 CORINTHIAN 6034               0   1  0     1       THE DREAMING (529)
 NIGHT TRAIN 6059              0   1  0     1       BARNYARD BRUTES (414)
 BUDDHA/NEW 6058               0   1  0     1       SHATTERED DREAMS (527)
 ROSWELL 2.0 6061              0   1  0     1       HELTER SKELTER (256)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
REBA 5987              1  1 0 BABES 416             BADDA BOOM 6001       443 NONE    
BACK TO BLACK 5331     2  2 0 BARNYARD BRUTES 414   BUDDHA 6024           445         
REAPER 6016            1  1 0 THE BREW CREW 526     RIPPLES DORRIGAN 23   446 NONE    
NUALA 6033             0  1 0 THE DREAMING 529      WURM KIN 27           446 NONE    
LUCIEN 6031            0  1 0 THE DREAMING 529      WURM KIN 27           446 NONE    
CYCLONUS 5994          2  2 0 THE FALLEN 524        TANTRIC 6036          446         
CHEETAH GIRL 6008      0  3 0 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE 515 BLACK ORC 20          446 NONE    
BUDDHA 6024            1  1 1 SHATTERED DREAMS 527  HIGH ELF 19           446 NONE    
LIL' DEAD GIRL 6022    0  1 0 SHATTERED DREAMS 527  JEALOUSY RAINS 5995   445         
BADDA BING 6000        1  3 0 SUICIDAL DREAMS 525   RIPPLES DORRIGAN 23   446 NONE    
TO THE MOON 6052       0  1 0 SUICIDAL DREAMS 525   MOUNTAIN TROLL 18     446 NONE    
BADDA BOOM 6001        2  1 1 SUICIDAL DREAMS 525   MAC 3965              445         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Cheetah Girl -- Hey, sorry for the big down challenge.  Normally I wouldn't down
challenge that far but everyone else in the inits is a fellow alliance member! --
Kerry Bear

Ghost of Badda Boom -- Sorry for killing you.  I was trying out a new weapon and got
a little carried away I guess.  But hey, don't worry about your wife.  *evil grin*
I'm taking good care of her! -- Mac

Arachne -- Let's see if some of my teammates can return the favor. -- Tiki

Jhans -- Just an update but the kLk has grown by two this turn.  Our ranks now
include Blitzkrieg, Suicidal Dreams, The Fallen, Shattered Dreams, and The Brew Crew.
(Heck, just look at the inits, we are the ones killing each other.)

Bookie -- Sorry 'bout killing your warrior.  Now, let's see how the bloodfeuds go. --

Papa Bear -- Hope you were planning on bloodfeuding Badda Boom -- Mac

Helter -- Welcome back. -- Blitzkrieg

Mac (standing over the lifeless body of Badda Boom) "If he dies, he dies!" (he
watched Rocky IV last night)

Bookie -- Do you think that was a lot for me to pay for the back door? -- Polarius

Cosmo -- Glad you are back but please remember, no groping is allowed. -- Polarius

All -- Ya know...I have been running the numbers on Terrablood's site and I have
figured out that John Kerry must be a 3 wit Parry Strike. -- Polarius (W in '04)

Attention all Lungers!!  Attention all Lungers!!  An Aimed-Blow has entered this
arena!  Set phasers on stun and epees to kill!  Thank you!  This has been a public
service announcement brought to you by the KLK.

Mac -- (sigh)  Alas, I am dead and now you got my wife.  Oh well, I been seein' Kerry
Bear on the side anyway.  (evil grin)  I'm already dead.  Not like you can kill me
again. -- Badda Boom

Mac -- Here we go.  Let's see if this works. -- Shadowstarr

Hoss -- Welcome to DM.  Sorry 'bout Jessi.  That really sucked, like Seth hadn't
screwed her over enough now Az had to go kill her.  Sheesh! -- Bookie

Brew-ha -- Welcome as well.  Nice 3-2 with Brew Crew.  Now if you don't mind, stop
taking my free fight and get the hell outta my way. -- Bookie
P.S.  You know I'm kidding, right?
P.P.S.  Because I'm not. (evil grin)

Little Girls Like -- Could you please name a warrior "Other Girls"?  Maybe it's just
my sense of humor but that'd be funny as hell. -- Bookie, always trying to keep the
mood light

Ravage -- If you want a girl's attention, next time don't hit her in the throat with
your scimitar.  A simple "hello" would have sufficed. -- Shadowstar, still having
trouble swallowing
P.S.  Not in that way, you sick freak!

Brown Kitty -- Here Kittie, Kittie!  Here Kittie, Kittie!  I got some milk for you.
I really do!  Come on!  I won't hurt you.  Good Kittie!  Now DIE!!  DIE!!  DIE!!  Bad
Kittie!  (bashing the cat 'til it stops moving then returns to happy and picks up the
dead cat)  Good Kittie Kittie. -- Huggy Bear
P.S.  No Kittie, it's my pot pie....

Union Jack -- G'damn Brits. -- Kimberli

P-Diddy -- You'd already have played if you'd mailed it on time but at least you made
it (finally).  Good to have the dreaming here. -- Bookie
P.S.  If I see you dancing in the back of the arena during fights I'll slap you
(nice white suit, btw)

I cannot go on without my brother so to quote Pink Floyd, "Goodbye cruel world.  I'm
leavin' you today.  Goodbye...goodbye...goodbye.  Goodbye all you people.  There's
nothin' you can say to make me change my mind.  Goodbye." -- Badda Bing

Arachne -- I wouldn't want to be you.  Seriously. -- Bookie
P.S.  The bulls-eye on the armor is a nice touch.  It's not as obvious as Robin's
neon red and yellow outfit but it's still not bad.

Back to Black -- If you knew what killed you you'd have killed yourself anyway. --
Bookie, still laughing

Azrael -- In case you don't know, Lunchbox over here loves the... -- Bookie, getting
tapped on the  shoulder by the censor

Firm -- Geezus Christ!  Where you guys at? -- Bookie
P.S.  You guys wanna go grab a beer?

All -- Why does everyone look at me that way and mouth the words "manifest destiny?"
You guys are starting to creep me out. -- Kimberli

Kerry Bear -- Whatever Polarius pays you I'll make it double.  (evil grin) -- Bookie

Uncle Charlie Frothinsloth -- No, I ain't callin' you Cosmo but it's good to have you
back.  It's sorta like old times again.  (sniff) (sniff)  We got the band back
together! -- Bookie
P.S.  All we need is Dauthstorm and maybe JGW, King of the Dark Circle...LOL

All -- Is it just me or do you need to understand calculus to understand the scoring
system in the contest in DM 4?  "+1 for stylemaster win + square root of the
quadratic equation of the graph of a line as it moves towards positive and negative
infinity."  Dude runnin' the contest could lie about the winner but who'd know? --

Charlie -- Look out for Tiki Bob!  LMAO -- Bookie
P.S.  "Bookie...Bookie!!  Tell Polarius they got me!  Got to gooooo..."
P.P.S.  Five dollars, five minutes.  That's kinda expensive ain't it?

Remember:  If you make it to the bar, drinks are free.  You'll never make it, but if
you do...they're free.

Q:  What's sadder than chilling at Waffle House waiting for the turn update on the

A:  Setting your alarm to get up and check the website.  I've done both past two
turns. (sigh) -- Bookie

Hey typist!  Not complainin' but I got a question:  how come a turn due on Wednesday
takes 'til Saturday Night/Sunday morning to update on the web?  It an automated
thing? -- Bookie

     *nod* A turn that's due on Wednesday runs on Thursday.  A turn that runs on
     Thursday gets updated two and a half days later, at midnightish on Saturday.  So
     don't set your alarm on Friday and Saturday morning.... -- Ed.

Azrael -- I don't care what the waitress at the Loucas Lounge said, me and Diddy say
you go last. -- Bookie

Just to clear up things to the Fighting Commission:  reports of the Suicidal Dream's
guildhouse catching fire were inaccurate.  There was a lot of smoke (grin), but there
was no fire, just a group of my KLK...uh, uh, strategizing!  Yeah!  We were
strategizing!  That's it! -- Bookie

All -- Well, if THAT don't beat all!  My only loss (thus far) is to a Commission
Warrior!  Perhaps Sultan ought to send me to the Dark Arena. -- Cater Pillar

Baphomet -- No need to be humble:  when you got it, flaunt it!  You are, after all,
running the Top Career Chartered Team and the Top Team on the Move. -- Sultan

Hi, Smitty! -- Sultan, not so much into hell

Azrael -- What's up?  I am going to kick your AZZ or Tail. -- "Hoss" S. Dreams

Talon -- What's up?  Good luck, kick some rooty poot candy tails. -- S. Dreams "Hoss"

Brewha -- What's up?  You know you're my Trick Dog. -- S. Dreams "Hoss"

"P" Diddy -- What's up?  Welcome to the war.  Good luck, punky. -- S. Dreams "Hoss"

Tiki Bod -- What's up?  Don't be groping the female warrior.  L.M.A.O. -- S. Dreams

Uncle Charlie -- What's up?  This is Hoss, Bookout's friend.  Maybe we can get
together and party sometime at Bookie's or something.  Good luck Peace!!! -- S.
Dreams "Hoss"

Group -- KLK  KLK  Boom!!!!!!  KLK 4 Life.  We're here to stay.  Die, Die, Die, Die,
Die, Die, Die, Die, Kill, Kill, Kill, Kill, Murder, Murder, Murder and Massacre. --
S. Dreams "Hoss"

Out Loud -- SHIRT RIPPA!!! -- S. Dreams "Hoss"

Azrael -- You're going down, little sissy man.  What about that limp noodle. -- S.
Dreams "Hoss"

Out Loud -- If you think you're so bad at the end of time you'll be sad. -- S. Dreams

Group -- We're all here today and you never know who we're going to slay.  So if
you're scared, stay out of our way.  KLK  KLK  Boom!!!!!! -- S. Dreams "Hoss"

2 December 2003
ZalCon2, ZalCon Reloaded
Where:  Jhelum, DM 4
When:  February 9th or 23rd, 2003 (TBA when Mail In date set)
How Long:  20 Turns

Restrictions:  Zero FE at start of contest.  Must announce warrior styles by second
arena fight to receive points.  No prize modified warriors.  No entry to July Face,
No TV Challenges.  All prizes to be used exclusively on warriors from the contest
team only.

     First Initiate Duelmaster (FID):  First warrior announced in the contest to
          reach the throne.
     Prize:  Limited Damage Potion, increasing damage for 1 warrior by one rating to
          max for ST/SZ.
     Warrior MVP:  Top warrior based on MVP points accrued in the contest.
     Prize:  Limited Damage Potion, Favorites Knowledge for any warrior on team, +1
          to bonus in any skill area up to max for style for 1 warrior on team, 2
          nights stay at Winter FTF Hotel.
     Team MVP:  Top Team based on MVP points accrued in contest by all the teams
     Prize:  Limited Damage Potion, Favorites Knowledge, +1 to Bonus, 6 Months Free
          Play, 20 Rollups.
     Warrior MVP Top 11:  Next 10 warriors on MVP list at the end of the contest.
     Prize:  +1 to Bonus
     Style Master:  Top warrior in each style based on Style Master points accrued in
          the contest.
     Prize:  Favorites Knowledge of any warrior on team.
     Iron Manager Award:  Minimum 95 fights in contest by any team.
     Prize:  Choice of free entry for team to 2005 Winter Face or +1 to Bonus for one

MVP Point System:  +1 for Win, Fight, Kill, Recognition Leader (after Round 3), -1
Death, +2 Duelmaster, +2 each 3 Consecutive turns as DM, +1 Quality Win (any win over
opponent with 5 or more Rec), +1 for each 10 Rec points over 5 in win (+1 for 5-14
above, +2 for 15-24 above, +3 for 25-34 above).
Style Master Point System:  +2 Style Master, +1 Win vs. Same Style Opponent, +1 Win
vs. Same Style Master, +1 for 3 Consecutive Turns as Style Master (rolling).

     Please direct any question about rules or clarifications to me, Robert
Occhipinti, via Diplo to DM74, 1988 Dodgers or email to zalgor@hotmail.com.  All
rules decisions made by me are final and binding within the confines of this contest.

8 December 2003
Greetings!  I would like to invite everyone to Jhans (DM 36) for the first annual kLk
St. Valentine's Day Massacre (kill contest).  We will start the contest off with the
ceremonial burning of the Andorian flag on turn 450.  (Six turns away.  Roughly mid-
February.)  The contest will run for 10 turns.  On turn 461, 3 separate victors will
be announced.  Team with the most kills, warrior with the most kills, and alliance
with the most kills.  Prizes will be awarded to the manager of the team with the most
kills and to the manager of the warrior with the most kills.  The prizes will
probably be team roll-ups.  The number of roll-ups has yet to be determined.  The
contest is sponsored by Jhans' newest, (but by the time the contest starts) largest
alliance, the kLk (pronounced "klick"). -- Polarius, mgr. of Blitzkrieg DM 36

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

YASMIN OF BRATZ was barely slain by SLIPPERS MCGHEE in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
BADDA BING was murdered by RIPPLES DORRIGAN in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena melee.
DREAM CATCHER was savagely slain by SLIPPERS MCGHEE in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
BUDDHA was dealt death by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
REAPER was assassinated by RIPPLES DORRIGAN in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
CHEETAH GIRL was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
NUALA was slaughtered by WURM KIN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
TO THE MOON was killed by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
LUCIEN was easily killed by WURM KIN in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
DARK ANGEL lost to JEALOUSY RAINS in a 2 minute beginner's Bloodfeud duel.
SHADOW STARR was vanquished by MAC in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud Title fight.
LUCIFERI unbelievably bested GONE COUNTRY in a 6 minute novice's Challenge fight.
HUGGY BEAR was overpowered by BROWN KITTY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
KANE demolished SCOOBY DOO in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
THE MAESTRO subdued RAVAGE in a 1 minute master vs. novice match.
KERRY BEAR handily defeated PSYCHO in a action packed 1 minute one-sided conflict.
BADDA BANG was defeated by UNION JACK in a 3 minute beginner's struggle.
TIKI BOB unbelievably bested BUDDHA/NEW in a crowd pleasing 1 minute amateur's bout.
KIMBERLI overpowered ROSWELL 2.0 in a 2 minute brutal one-sided bout.
DEATH STRYKE was savagely defeated by SHAWNDA in a 4 minute novice's match.
SKIRZA SLAPSTIK bested NIGHT TRAIN in a 1 minute novice's bout.
KRAZY KLOWN lost to CLURACAN in a action packed 3 minute novice's match.
CYCLONUS was dispatched by TANTRIC in a 1 minute gory amateur's fray.
CORINTHIAN was luckily beaten by CLUTCH SHUTTLE in a 3 minute novice's fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  15         TOTAL PARRY       32 -  18 -  0      64  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         WALL OF STEEL     14 -   9 -  1      61  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      5         AIMED BLOW        10 -   8 -  0      56  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         LUNGING ATTACK    57 -  61 -  8      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         STRIKING ATTACK   24 -  31 -  2      44  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         SLASHING ATTACK   11 -  17 -  0      39  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         BASHING ATTACK     9 -  24 -  1      27  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   7 -  0      22  |
|AIMED BLOW                       0         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -   5 -  0      17  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -   3 -  0       0  |

Turn 446 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      2 -  0     LUNGING ATTACK     5 - 10         5  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  1     AIMED BLOW         0 -  0         3  STRIKING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    4 -  3     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         2  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  0     
                              SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  4     
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  4     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is KERRY BEAR 3994.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was DEATH STRYKE 6019.  The ten other most popular fighters were SHAWNDA 6032, GONE 
5995, MAC 3965, BROWN KITTY 6009, KANE 6020, and KERRY BEAR 3994.

The least popular fighter this week was CYCLONUS 5994.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were ROSWELL 2.0 6061, UNION JACK 6015, HUGGY BEAR 6002, LUCIFERI 6018, 
and BADDA BING 6000.