Date   : 03/04/2004    Duedate: 03/17/2004


DM-36    TURN-451

This Weeks Top Honors


BABES (416)
(36-5865) [16-8-0,94]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

KATHLEEN                       SKIRZA SLAPSTIK
BABES (416)                    THE FALLEN (524)
(36-5865) [16-8-0,94]          (36-5996) [7-2-0,52]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

KERRY BEAR                     DRIPS
BLITZKRIEG (271)               STDS (534)
(36-3994) [8-5-0,58]           (36-6066) [4-1-0,43]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. BABES (416)                 45
2. SECTION HATE (491)          45      BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
3. KAMIKAZI (533)              41      Unchartered Team
4. SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)       35

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*SUPERIOR HORDE 196 (528)   1   0  0  100   1/ 1 BLITZKRIEG (271)         10  5 1
 2/ 2 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     40  28  5 58.8   2/ 8 SECTION HATE (491)        8  7 2
 3/ 1*STDS (534)                 4   3  0 57.1   3/ 4*SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     8  7 1
 4/ 0*THE BREW CREW (526)        8   7  0 53.3   4/ 6*KAMIKAZI (533)            8  7 0
 5/ 5 BABES (416)              202 181  6 52.7   5/ 2 IRON TIGERS (484)         7  3 1
 6/ 6 BLITZKRIEG (271)         128 121 13 51.4   6/ 3*THE FALLEN (524)          7  8 0
 7/ 7 HELTER SKELTER (256)     492 470 29 51.1   7/11 ANARKYSTS (341)           6  4 0
 8/13*SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     23  22  2 51.1   8/ 7*THE DREAMING (529)        5  5 0
 9/12*THE FALLEN (524)          21  24  1 46.7   9/ 9*SHADOW SOLDIERS (530)     5 10 0
10/10 ANARKYSTS (341)          301 353 33 46.0  10/14 BABES (416)               4  5 0
11/ 8*THE MATRIX (531)           5   6  0 45.5  11/ 0*THE BREW CREW (526)       3  2 0
12/11 IRON TIGERS (484)        107 129 16 45.3  12/12 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     3  5 0
13/ 3*THE DREAMING (529)         9  11  1 45.0  13/13 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515)  3  9 0
14/17*KAMIKAZI (533)             9  11  1 45.0  14/ 0*ABYSMAL BEHAVIORS (538)   2  3 1
15/14 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515)  49  63  7 43.8  15/10*STDS (534)                2  3 0
16/ 0*ABYSMAL BEHAVIORS (538)    2   3  1 40.0  16/ 5*THE MATRIX (531)          2  5 0
17/16 SECTION HATE (491)        85 134 12 38.8  17/ 0*SUPERIOR HORDE 196 (528)  1  0 0
18/15*SHADOW SOLDIERS (530)      5  10  0 33.3  18/16 HELTER SKELTER (256)      1  2 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/18*SHATTERED DREAMS (527)     5  20  2 20.0  19/15*SHATTERED DREAMS (527)    0  5 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

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                                  The Kill Contest

Upstairs at the Lucas Lounge, city of Jhans, Delarquan Federation:

     "Not to question your judgment, Bookie, but is this really wise?  I know you
want the Jhans Kill Contest to go well, but having an opening ceremony where you burn
the Andorian flag?  And you've invited the entire arena and given them access to an
open bar!  That's too many tempers and too many swords!  Something bad is going to
happen!  I can feel it!"
     While his student/assistant continued to pace back and forth voicing her
concerns, Bookie sat quietly in the corner of the room smoking from his pipe and
sipping on his ale.  The manager was worried as well, but for different reasons.
     Bookie set his pipe down and began to gulp his ale ravenously.  He wiped his
chin with his sleeve and then grabbed his assistant Raven by the arm.  He pulled her
near and whispered, "I want you to slip downstairs and very very quietly get Polarius
and Azrael to come here."  There was an urgency in his voice, something she wasn't
accustomed to hearing.  She quickly nodded and headed toward the door.
     "Wait!" Bookie yelled out.  Raven halted in mid-step and turned back.  "See if
you can get Uncle Charlie of the Frotheringslosh Syndicate to come as well."
     At first Raven seemed puzzled.  Then her face lit up as a revelation came to
her.  "Oh!  You mean 'Cosmo'."
     Bookie shuddered.  "Don't get me started on his name!  But yes, that's who I
want you to get."  With that she was on her way and Bookie was left alone with his
pipe, ale, and his worries.
     In a few minutes he could hear voices coming down the hall toward him.  They
were loud and they were laughing.  Bookie thought to himself that perhaps letting his
KLK alliance mates have early access to the ale was a mistake.  They'd been drinking
since this morning while they were "helping" get the Lucas Lounge ready for the
night's festivities.  "Getting the party crunk early," is how Hossfather had put it.
     They came through the door just as Azrael finished saying to Polarius "...I just
don't see how you let your wife fight in leather armor.  It's all I'm saying."
     Whatever they were talking about it must have been funny as both of them (along
with Uncle Charlie who was bringing up the rear) began to laugh.  Bookie waited for
the laughter to die down before even attempting to speak.  Eventually a silence fell
over the room and everyone (including Raven who had rejoined them) turned their
attention to Bookie.
     "What's up, boss?" Azrael said.
     "Yeah, what's poppin', pops?" Uncle Charlie added with a drunken grin on his
face.  Despite their festive moods Bookie's demeanor stayed quite somber.
     "Raven, close and lock the door."  Raven did as she was asked, not because it
was her job or that she was a slave but because of the unique bond she had with
Bookie.  While he was away from managing in the games, Bookie studied the magic arts
under Raven's father.  Her father taught Bookie both the white and black arts.
Bookie had a particular interest in necromancy and her father was one of the few
wizards willing to teach the craft.  Before Bookie's training could be completed
Raven's father took ill quite mysteriously.  He never recovered and on his deathbed
the wizard asked Bookie to swear to take care of Raven and teach her as he had taught
Bookie himself.  Bookie gave his word and had been Raven's guardian ever since.  The
taking care part wasn't a problem.  Teaching, on the other hand, was a little more
     The door was closed and locked and when Raven returned to his side Bookie began
to speak.  "I asked the three of you up here to address certain situations you may
not be aware of."
     A feeling of confusion fell across everyone in the room.  Not wanting to miss
any of the party downstairs Azrael interjected during Bookie's pause, "Cut to the
chase.  What's going on?"
     "After Gryzash's death, the Princess sent out a call for bodyguards.  Azrael,
Polarius, and myself all volunteered warriors to act as Morra's guards."
     Polarius scoffed, "Tell me something I don't know...."
     Azrael added, "No doubt.  Let's hurry this up!  I don't wanna miss the werecat
girl do her floor show.  She takes a little white aball and shoots it out her--"
     Bookie stopped Azrael right there.  Dealing with his friends drunk was going to
be more difficult than he thought.  "If you miss it, Az, I'll book her for your
birthday party.  Fair enough?"
     Azrael smiled from ear to ear.  "Works for me.  I'm all ears."
     Finally, they were actually listening.  "As I was saying: we all volunteered the
Princess bodyguards.  The Princess was very appreciative of our loyalty.  So much so
that she asked us to do her another service."
     "Such as?" Polarius asked.
     "Such as this Kill contest."  There was a shocked silence.
     Then Uncle Charlie said, "I thought the contest was your alliance's idea."
     "Officially the KLK is the sponsor of the contest.  Unofficially, Morra asks
that we do it.  She thought it would give the people of Jhans a distraction and help
keep their morale up."
     "Well, why did she ask you and not one of us?  We all volunteered warriors."
     "Perhaps because I have a history with the Royal Family of Jhans.  Perhaps she
felt she could trust me."
     "So burning the Andorian Flag was the Queen's idea?  That doesn't sound like
her," Polarius said.
     "It wasn't her.  That was MY idea.  I thought the symbolism of it might stir a
little patriotism in the other Delarquan managers.  On the sands we're enemies, but
we're all still Delarquan.  We're loyal to the Dark Federation, and I'm afraid that
loyalty is going to be tested."
     There was a pause, then Azrael quipped, "Sounds like you're worrying a little
bit much about Jhans politics to me, boss."
     They all laughed except for Bookie and Raven, who could tell how deeply
something had been bothering the manager.
     "I'm not just worried about Jhans.  I'm worried about the entire Federation.
Politically, things are very unstable right now.  If an outside force were to
     "Who?" Polarius interjected.  "The Andorians?  They wouldn't have the balls, and
even if they did, by the time they got done bitching about our tactics, we'd have
their capitol burned to the ground."
     "It's not the Andorians."
     "The Free Blades, then?"
     "Not them, either.  To tell the truth, I'm not sure who or WHAT it is.  It's
just this feeling.  I've been having it for a while, and I thought it was nothing,
but while I was traveling near Zorpunt it got stronger.  It was like something
telling me to run away as fast as I could.  I've never felt anything like it before.
It was...unnatural."
     Talking about it brought the feeling back.  Bookie couldn't help but look out
the window toward Zorpunt.  It took all the self-control the manager had not to bolt
downstairs, get his horse, and ride away as quickly as he could push his steed.
     Bookie's silence had produced an awkward moment.  No one knew what to say until
Uncle Charlie spoke up.  "So what do you want us to do?"
     The question snapped Bookie out of his mini-trance and slowly the urge to run
began to fade.  "All of us need to be ready for anything.  Use every resource we have
to gather intelligence.  I'm sure between Azrael and the Thieves' Guild and Polarius'
spies which I know he'll deny having--"
     Polarius smiled.
     "--we should be able to find out what's going on before it happens.  We can use
the Kill contest as a way of scouting allies.  We may need all the help we can get,
but trust no one!  There's no telling who is plotting to take the throne right now!"
     Polarius said, "So you want to use the Kill contest to 'keep our friends close
and our enemies closer'?"
     Bookie smiled and said, "Exactly!"
     Then very slowly Uncle Charlie raised his hand to ask a question while trying to
keep his balance.  "I know we're old friends, Bookie, but I'm not in your alliance.
Why'd I get asked up here?"
     "Well, you've been managing in the games during my absence.  You still have
connections that I've lost."
     "And...and I want you to contact Scra--"  Bookie corrected himself, "I want you
to contact Alfredo.  Tell him I'd like to talk to him.  I believe he's someone I can
     Uncle Charlie nodded and saluted Bookie using two fingers.  "Aye-aye, Cap'n."
     Azrael interjected, "Yeah, boss.  Anything goes down, I've got your back."
     That only left Polarius to pledge his support.  Polarius wasn't one to act
impulsively over a "feeling," but if there WAS something going on, Polarius wanted to
be there to take advantage of it.  After analyzing the situation in his mind,
Polarius finally said, "I'm in."
     Bookie was quite relieved.  "Good.  There's no need to keep you any longer.  Get
back downstairs to the party and enjoy yourselves!  I'll be there shortly."
     "You better hurry.  Hoss is working on his second keg.  Might not be any left by
the time you get there, boss."
     Bookie chuckled.  The other three managers made their way back to the party, but
not before Charlie turned and winked at Raven, saying, "I'll see you later, lil
mamma."  Raven blushed and giggled as Azrael and Polarius dragged Charlie away by the
     Before they got out of earshot, Bookie yelled to Charlie, "Don't be drinking
with Tiki Bob!  You know how you get when you two mix!"
     Raven shut the door after the three men left and smiled at Bookie.  "My, my, my,
you have interesting friends."
     "Yeah, you should see them drunk."
     "You mean they're NOT?"
     "Nope, that's just early stages of boozing.  By midnight, they'll be
intolerable."  Bookie laughed.
     Raven rolled her eyes.  She'd heard about duel managers being eccentric, but
this was her first time to be around to see it for herself.  The moment was light
hearted, but she couldn't help but think about what Bookie said.  She said, "Do you
really think trouble is coming?"
     Bookie thought about it for a moment, then said, "Yes, I do."
     "Well, is there anything I can do?"
     Bookie nodded.  "Bring me my robe.  It's time to commence with my duties as host
of this party."

     Downstairs the ceremonies had yet to begin but the party was already in full
swing.  Most of the guilds in Jhans had come early to assure more than their fair
share of the free ale.  The barkeep had been told not to serve until later in the
evening, but when faced with thirsty, sword-wielding warriors, what can you do?
     The crowd was a bit rowdy, but that was to be expected.  They were Delarquans,
after all!  At least there had been no fights...yet.
     The party was so engaging that no one noticed Bookie standing on the balcony
looking over the crowd.  He saw P-Diddi and Brawha tossing money to the dancers and
couldn't help but laugh.  There were new faces and old faces alike in the crowd.
Even Papa Bear was in attendance, which came as quite a shock.
     Raven stood at Bookie's side.  She leaned over and whispered to him, "Are you
     Bookie sighed.  "I think so."
     She took his hand reassuringly and said, "I know you'll do fine."
     With that, Bookie smiled and held his chalice up high and yelled to be heard.
"Managers!  Warriors!  Friends and foes alike!  Welcome to the city of Jhans and the
KLK's first annual St. Valentines Day Massacre Kill Contest!"
     The greeting was met with enthusiastic applause. And the beating of chalices
upon table tops.  While the crowd roared, Bookie made his way to the main table and
Raven took the seat beside him.
     Bookie continued, "I know you're all anxious to get back to your ale, so I'll
make this quick.  We gather here today not as enemies but as Delarquans!  We
celebrate our common love of the Delarquan way of life and the Delarquan way of
dueling in the arena!"
     Cheers erupted.
     "Grudges aside, tonight we are brothers!  And as a Delarquan brother, I ask all
of you to drink with me as we toast to the beginning of this contest!"
     At that time a very inebriated Hossfather emerged from a back room carrying an
Andorian banner.  Many in attendance rose to their feet in anticipation as Hoss
neared the Lucas Lounge fireplace.  Some were eager to see the banner burn.  Others
just wanted to see if they'd go through with it.
     "Tonight we toast to the managers of this fine city and to their warriors who so
bravely risk their lives on the sands!  We toast to the memory of Gryzash to whom
these games are dedicated and we toast to the Dark Federation itself!  May she never
fall!  Let...the games...BEGIN!"
     With that, Hoss tossed the Andorian banner into the flames and those in
attendance drank and roared their approval.  The fire soon consumed the Andorian
banner.  Would it consume them all?

To be continued....

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     The first annual kLk Kill Contest has begun.  I have heard that many managers
look down upon those who kill with regularity.  These managers are fools.  This game
is about combat and combat is about killing.  I guess that it is only fitting that
the Duelmaster, TARGEN, drew first blood.  He is claiming that he killed BROKEN
MIRROR.  Secret sources tell me that BROKEN MIRROR was spotted leaving DRIPS sleazy
hotel room the night before the fight.  One never knows what one may contract from
DRIPS!  Of course BROKEN MIRROR's manager isn't too upset.  BROKEN RUMOR was always
rumored to be a little unlucky.  Not to be outdone, MAC ended the life of one of
Jhan's biggest bull's eyes, STARK.  To STARK's manager this may be a little
troubling.  To those warriors who were within challenge range of STARK this is very
troubling!  We all need a new target dummy now.  Hmmm...this could pit TARGEN against
MAC next turn.  I guess it depends on IRON TIGERS; they may not want TARGEN to be
embarrassed his last turn in the arena!
     In closing, as the sun rules the day and the moon governs the night, so should
the kLk, with equal regularity continue to dominate Jhans!


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Unchartered Recognition Leader Column

Notes From the King of the Inits:

     Skirza proud to be leader.  Me am gonna be strong leader for all fighters.
     Skirza say to win more wins, you got to stand hard, and no let nobody hit you.
That me Skirza words of wizom for the week.  Good bye-bye.

               Skirza Slapstik
               Unchartered Recognition Leader

P.S.  Bow down.

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                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 490): FACELESS of THE BLACK COMPANY (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 376): TOOFLESS of GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 495): WHIP SCORPION of SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 491): MARCH MADNESS of SPORTZ! (Guardian, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 490): DERBIE FOYLE of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 494): MEDUSA of BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 491): DIGGER WASP of FLAGG'S CHAMPIONS (Flagg, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 486): BLING BLING of TERRAPIN STATION (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 478): WONDER BRA of THE GUARDIANS II (Guardian, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 476): GLIMMOR of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 450): TARGEN of IRON TIGERS (Jinx, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 441): NUTCRACKER of ALL FINESSE (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 192): TAMMY FAYE of WITLESS WONDERS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 428): STERLING of FLAGG'S FIVE (Flagg, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 376): ORANGE of FRUITS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 178): RUBBER BULLET of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 166): DUFF of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 326): AKLAR of MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 143): 2 PHAT TOO of VERMIN (Sultan, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 369): LARGE SPINNY GUY of DIABLO TOO from TI (The Muffin Man)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 490): THE BLACK COMPANY (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 376): GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 495): SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 491): DIFFERENT HATS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 490): THE TAKEN (Silver Stroke, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 494): DARK PANTHEON (Doc Steele, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 491): THE BEARS II (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 486): THOROUGHBREDS (DRF, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 478): PENTARCHIE-18 (The Pentalque, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 476): COSMIC FREAK OUT (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 450): BLITZKRIEG (Polarius, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 441): ALL FINESSE (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 192): CHEAP SHOTS (?, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 428): FLAGG'S FIVE (Flagg, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 376): DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 178): USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 166): THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 326): THE DEN OF SWORDS (TMoney, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 143): EPOCHOLYPSE (Brewmaster, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 369): DARK PANTHEON, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 490): DERBIE FOYLE of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 493): DELAPP of NIGHT TRAIN (BPR, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 491): ADAM of MORGAN'S BOYS (A-Sop, mgr.)
               (turn 490): RED NO. 40 of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 485): AERYN SUN of FARSCAPE (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 478): WONDER BRA of THE GUARDIANS II (Guardian, mgr.)
                            BOOTER of BURN N' PILLAGE (Jolly, mgr.)
                (turn 477): RAZOR HAWK of BEAST MASTERS (The Druid, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 475): JADE of I MAGI (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 450): TARGEN of IRON TIGERS (Jinx, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 191): ZOOLANDER of WITLESS WONDERS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 428): STERLING of FLAGG'S FIVE (Flagg, mgr.)
               (turn 427): PROBLEMATIC of FLAGG'S FIVE (Flagg, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 375): TSOMEGH of DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 142): MISSY MAYHAM of ANGELS OF CHAOS (Lord Chaos, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     It is I, Novgorodny Vir, Spymaster of Spymasters.  Look on my work, ye mighty, 
and despair!  Thinking about sending their team manager to the Dark Arena is THE 
MATRIX, after suffering a 11 drop in ranking.  What's a move up by 6 you ask?  
(alright, maybe you didn't ask)  Cause for celebration, according to SECTION HATE.  
Good things come to those who fight well, as BABES can attest, moving up by 4.  
Practice pays for KATHLEEN, who pummelled PINK BEAR, to pocket 21 points.  CONFESSION 
certainly had a baffled expression on his face, after losing to UNION JACK and losing 
12 points in the process!  Well, Duelmaster TARGEN Bloodfeuded BLITZKRIEG's MAC.  Is 
a 20-13-4 good enough?  MAC found out that JHANS isn't a democracy.  You've gotta be 
the best to be Duelmaster here!  So who was the warrior seen charging into immovable 
walls and challenging dead trees?  Someone's got a basic problem...   
     A Zenmaster once told me, 'Does not the spinning wheel turn?  And do not the 
little birds cry out?'  Any ideas?  Like the noble eagle soaring amongst the 
mountaintops, so stand the warriors of ANARKYSTS, alone and unchallenged.  As a woman 
of good breeding scorns the "warriors" of BLIND HYPOCRISY, so did that sorry team shy 
from ANARKYSTS Everyone is famous for fifteen minutes, and DEFIANCE is it right now.  
Most challenged warrior.  Isn't SECTION HATE proud!  As a confidence booster, RAVAGE 
challenged WASTEM WUORNOS, down 32 points.  Do you also slay vicious rodents in your 
spare time, RAVAGE?  RAVAGE bested WASTEM WUORNOS.  The whole thing leaves a bitter 
memory.  Word has it CHIEF BLING-BLING$ suffered a romantic setback.  Note how he 
challenged BRICKHOUSE, 30 points his senior.  Soopreyes, soopreyes!  CHIEF 
BLING-BLING$ emerges from the fray 2 points the richer.  Good show, CHIEF 
BLING-BLING$!  SLAYIN STAYNER found himself challenged by a warrior 23 below:  CAIN.  
CAIN of THE DREAMING kept his wits as he was bested by SLAYIN STAYNER.  Mismatched by 
13 points, FRANCOIS bested SHAWNDA.  Is this really worth noting?  I thought SHAWNDA 
showed great skill and promise when she lost to FRANCOIS.  All right, so I slept 
through it!  Big deal!   
     Like the wind whispering among the pines, do hearest I many disquieting rumors.  
SUPERIOR MANAGER in the Dark Arena wasn't enough for HATRED of SECTION HATE.  Maybe 
that certain serving girl(?) at Lucas Lounge will be!  Justice was served as TARGEN 
fought MAC in bloodfeud.  Well done, IRON TIGERS!  Questions are being raised about 
the disposing of severed body parts in the arena.  A certain tavern in JHANS would I 
     All good things must come to an end.  As if buffeted by forces of nature beyond 
my control, I must take my leave of this place.  Can anything compare to the pleasure 
of writing Spyreports for JHANS?  On that giddy note I take my leave-- Novgorodny Vir 

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KATHLEEN 5865                16   8  0    94       BABES (416)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-POSTMASTER P 5182            20  11  0   133       HELTER SKELTER (256)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PINK BEAR 5883               15   8  1    79       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 MAC 3965                      8   8  2    75       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-HALO 14 5711                 11   9  1    71       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KERRY BEAR 3994               8   5  0    58       BLITZKRIEG (271)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SKIRZA SLAPSTIK 5996          7   2  0    52       THE FALLEN (524)
 UNION JACK 6015               8   0  0    49       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 DRIPS 6066                    4   1  0    43       STDS (534)
 DONNA 5966                    5   5  0    42       BABES (416)
 ARACHNE 5712                  3   0  0    41       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
-MAZRIM 5911                   6   1  0    38       IRON TIGERS (484)
 OBLIVIOUS 6101                3   0  0    38       KAMIKAZI (533)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RAVAGE 5993                   6   3  0    35       THE FALLEN (524)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BRICKHOUSE 5960               7   1  0    33       SECTION HATE (491)
 HATRED 5938                   4   5  1    33       SECTION HATE (491)
 SLAYIN STAYNER 5891           4   0  0    31       ANARKYSTS (341)
 BADDA BAMM 6075               3   2  0    31       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 MARCIE 6076                   2   2  0    31       BABES (416)
 TROJAN MAN 5710               6   4  2    30       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 HUGGY BEAR 6002               6   3  0    30       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 CONFESSION 6003               3   1  0    29       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO 6085        3   1  1    27       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 CLURACAN 6035                 4   0  0    26       THE DREAMING (529)
 SUBZERO 6120                  2   0  0    26       KAMIKAZI (533)
 SLASHIN' SPECK 5854           5   9  1    25       ANARKYSTS (341)
 KILL'EM KREPP 5892            4   0  0    25       ANARKYSTS (341)
 CORINTHIAN 6034               2   2  1    25       THE DREAMING (529)
 TIKI BOB 6004                 7   3  0    24       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 KANE 6020                     3   0  0    24       THE BREW CREW (526)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 STRIKER 6093                  2   1  1    19       SECTION HATE (491)
 MR. ANDERSON 6043             2   2  0    18       THE MATRIX (531)
 FROSTY MCCLOUD 6086           2   2  0    18       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 FRANCOIS 6038                 2   1  0    18       SHADOW SOLDIERS (530)
 SHADOW STARR 5999             4   5  0    17       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 TANTRIC 6036                  3   4  1    17       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 BADDA BANG 6013               2   6  0    17       THE FALLEN (524)
 PIGFEED PICKTAN 6124          2   0  0    17       ANARKYSTS (341)
 JEALOUSY RAINS 5995           3   6  1    16       THE FALLEN (524)
 BASHFUL COMPLEX 6113          1   0  0    15       ABYSMAL BEHAVIORS (538)
 BROWN KITTY TOO 6118          1   0  0    14       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 BLUEBEARD 6029                1   0  0    13       SUPERIOR HORDE 196L (528)
 DRIVER 6055                   3   1  1    12       KAMIKAZI (533)
-DEWCLAW 6100                  1   0  0    12       IRON TIGERS (484)
-FRANKENSLOSH 5901             3   1  0    11       HELTER SKELTER (256)
-THE ONE 6046                  2   0  0    11       THE MATRIX (531)
 ENVIOUS KING 6109             1   0  1    11       ABYSMAL BEHAVIORS (538)
 PSYCHO 6017                   1   2  0    11       THE BREW CREW (526)
 DEFIANCE 6122                 1   1  0    11       SECTION HATE (491)
 CLUTCH SHUTTLE 6060           2   1  0    10       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 KRAZY KLOWN 6023              2   3  0     9       SHATTERED DREAMS (527)
 NIGHTWING 6092                1   0  0     9       THE BREW CREW (526)
 SHAWNDA 6032                  2   2  0     8       THE DREAMING (529)
 DEVASTATOR 6079               1   4  0     8       THE FALLEN (524)
-AGENT SMITH 6042              1   1  0     8       THE MATRIX (531)
 MOGASH 6037                   2   1  0     7       SHADOW SOLDIERS (530)
 LUCIFERI 6018                 2   1  0     7       THE BREW CREW (526)
 BUDDHA/NEW 6058               1   3  1     7       SHATTERED DREAMS (527)
 CAIN 6073                     1   2  0     7       THE DREAMING (529)
 SCORPINE 6119                 1   1  0     7       KAMIKAZI (533)
 LIL' DEAD GIRL 6081           1   2  0     6       SHATTERED DREAMS (527)
 DARK ANGEL 6025               0   5  0     5       SHATTERED DREAMS (527)
 WASTEM WUORNOS 6123           0   2  0     5       ANARKYSTS (341)
-DYNIT 6083                    1   1  0     4       IRON TIGERS (484)
 DEL MONTE 6115                1   1  0     4       SHADOW SOLDIERS (530)
 DEATH STRYKE 6019             0   3  0     3       THE BREW CREW (526)
 ERRUPTION 6094                0   3  0     3       SECTION HATE (491)
 BIG BED 6088                  0   3  0     3       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 BADDA BLING 6080              0   3  0     3       SHATTERED DREAMS (527)
 CHIEF BLING-BLING$ 6091       0   2  0     3       THE DREAMING (529)
 RAIMONDO 6114                 0   2  0     2       SHADOW SOLDIERS (530)
 ANOTHER BLANKEE 6117          0   1  0     1       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PROMISCUOUS QUEEN 6112        0   1  0     1       ABYSMAL BEHAVIORS (538)
 SYPHILIS 6129                 0   1  0     1       STDS (534)
 POLITE BEGGAR 6111            0   1  0     1       ABYSMAL BEHAVIORS (538)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
EQUIVOCAL MONK 6110    0  1 0 ABYSMAL BEHAVIORS 538 WURM KIN 27           451 NONE    
RENEE 6127             0  1 0 BABES 416             HIGH ELF 19           451 NONE    
BOOKIE BLUNDER 6130    0  1 0 BLIND HYPOCRISY 504   HIGH ELF 19           451 NONE    
BROKEN MIRROR 5849     7  6 0 BLIND HYPOCRISY 504   TARGEN 5783           450 NONE    
SUPERIOR MANAGER 22    0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          HATRED 5938           451 NONE    
STARK 5905             6  7 1 IRON TIGERS 484       MAC 3965              450 JUST REV
PSYCHO 6054            0  4 0 KAMIKAZI 533          SLIPPERS MCGHEE 24    451 NONE    
SILVER KITTY 6116      0  1 0 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE 515 ENVIOUS KING 6109     451         
NEO 6045               0  1 0 THE MATRIX 531        DRIVER 6055           448         
MAREK 6041             0  3 0 SHADOW SOLDIERS 530   BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BO 6085 451         
PAPI 6039              0  1 0 SHADOW SOLDIERS 530   STRIKER 6093          449         
KIMBERLI 5998          2  3 0 SUICIDAL DREAMS 525   BUDDHA/NEW 6058       447 REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

These should have gone in last turn but went astray in the mailroom, our apologies:

All -- If everything goes well (fingers crossed) there should be a story featuring
the kill contest in the newsletter that I'm writing.  Anyone wanting in can diplo me
or say something to me in the personals.  I don't care if we're enemies in here I'll
still use you (and promise not to make you look too bad--just kidding).  (grin)  If
the storyline gets approved, it will deal with our city's dealing with the world
events going on.  We can't let Jhans be left out!  After all, I'm not one to let
Mordant, Rodeki, or any other city take away our city's standing in Alastari.  (grin)
Okay, so maybe I like role-playing too much but sue me...it's how I am.  If you want
in...just holla at me. -- Bookie

Devastator -- Fo' shizzle, that hurt. -- Huggy Bear

Dripo -- As much as this pains me...when I see a good warrior I pay my respects.
You've impressed me.  I've read all three of your fights (yes, we all live close) and
so far I'm impressed.  Don't take this as a sign of weakness or an indication that
I'm not still trying to put you in a box but simply take it as it's meant: a sign of
respect.  Swords high and may your death be a painful one. -- Bookie, Suicidal Dreams

Section Hate -- Welcome to Jhans!  May the sands you fight upon always be bloody! --
P.S.  That would be YOUR blood.  (grin)

Shadow Soldiers -- Ditto. -- Bookie

Shadow Soldiers -- Nice team name.  But how did I get soldiers? -- (puzzled) Shadow

Ultraist -- Thanks for the input.  I know how crappy roll-ups go but I'd still like
you to stick around.  And don't take the ragging on your name last turn personally.
I figured if you didn't like or appreciate the joke you'd get mad and stick around
trying to feud.  It was a win/win.  (grin)  Seriously, stick around!  The arena could
use you. -- Bookie

Agent Smith -- (singing)  Challenged by you...what could I do?...Bibidi Bobidi Boo...
Smacked you around and you fell down...Bibidi Bobidi...Flipidy Floppidy...Hey hey
there buddy screw you.  (curtsey and exit stage left) -- Bibidy Bobidy Boo

Ripples Dorrigan -- I'm sad to inform you that the KLK has denied your petition and
the Dark Arena team will NOT be eligible to win the kill contest.  We didn't think
it'd be fair. -- Bookie
P.S.  Be very thankful the "R" in your name was mistaken for an "N."  The name would
have surely led you down another career path, probably one involving Ron Jeremy at
that.  (grin)

Fighting Commission -- Speaking of the Dark Arena...when did "Superior Manager" start
fighting?  I don't remember him/her.  Since we have a DA warrior named that how about
renaming it after the top career team manager's name?  Every six months or so you
could change it based on rankings.  Who do you bribe to get things done? -- Bookie,
just trying to spice the arena up
P.S.  Would you guys just consider it?

     "Superior Manager" was the name given as prize in the first kill contest here, I
     think.  I seem to recall that Manager, the manager of Superior Forces, won that.
     -- Ripples Dorrigan

STD's -- After reading your personals this turn I have to say that I like you!  I
enjoy playing in an arena with someone who will talk smack. -- Polarius

STD's -- Well...if you don't want to fight under the banner of either of those loser
alliances...well...you could always fight under our banner, the kLk.  Or you could
just be independent. -- Polarius

Mazrim -- Wow, what a fight.  To be honest I challenged you as well.  Maybe I should
use a dagger more often against plate armor!  Anyway, good fight. -- Kerry Bear

Stark -- Sometimes I play a little too rough.  Hope you weren't a bonused god
warrior.  I will await your manager's bloodfeud. -- MAC

Donna -- Thanks for always being a willing target. -- Union Jack

Shocking Toad -- When it comes to politics Bookie is a little confused.  He would
rather give our tax dollars to the people who have children for a living.  The same
people who live in trailers that don't have locking doors.  The same people who trade
their kids food for crack!  That is about right, right Mike? -- Polarius
P.S.  As a GREAT man once said, "a government program is about the closest thing to
eternal life that we'll ever find...."

Targen -- You have one turn left.  I hope your manager sends you to avenge your
teammate's death.  To be the best you have to beat the best, and I would certainly
like a shot at you! -- MAC

Arachne -- Be a chum and fetch me some Tylenol, would you?  My head is killing me! --

Badda Bang -- Me win!  Me likes winning.  Next time let me bash too.  Me like bashin!
-- Mogash

All -- I could smell the sweet aroma coming from this arena from Solven.  You can't
have a killing spree and not invite me.  I have come to join in the carnage and lay
waste.  Behold, Abysmal Behaviors beckons.  Let the bodies hit the floor...let the
bodies hit the floor.... (sadistic laugh) -- Silver Stroke mgr., Abysmal Behaviors

All -- Lol.  It figures I get saddled with blood crazed manger.  Switch to decaf,
hehehe. -- Polite Beggar
P.s.  Got some change please, sir? (hand held out)

Polite Beggar -- Trouble seems to follow you. -- Promiscuous Queen

Pro Queen -- Yeah, it seems to know where I am 95 percent of the time. :) -- Polite

     Maybe you should try being rude? -- Ed.

Woelfe -- You still running a dog and pony show here?  You got to watch that guy, he
is all smoke and mirrors, Lol.  Now if we could just get him to take a bath
muhamuha.... -- Silver Stroke

Polite Beggar -- I look like the Meals on Wheels foundation?  Get out there and fight
if you want some money.  This isn't a non-profit organization.  (smacks him upside
the head)  Now put that hand on your sword and go kill somebody! -- Silver Stroke

All -- Hmmm...guess I will have to fight.  I thought everybody was good enough for
some change?  Guess not. -- Polite Beggar (rubbing head)

S.T.D.s -- I found that store with the latex armor but someone poked holes in all of
it with an epee.  I wonder who? -- Azrael

Mac -- Hey thanx for taking care of Stark for me. -- Ravage

Matrix -- Must not be worried about your prophecies, huh?  No bloodfeud for Neo's 
death.  Coward. -- Azrael

KLK -- Sorry bout my 2-3-0 last turn.  It was a maintenance run.

Hatred -- Ow, that was rough, must have been "that" hand. -- Ravage

Outloud -- I'm a good girl; good girls shouldn't get scummy.  Scummies not for good
girls...la la la, da, ta.... -- Badda Bang

Outloud -- Bang, chill out he said he was a basher.  I didn't know he scummed like a
T.P.  Thanx Mogash, she's crazy now. -- Jealousy Rains

Oblivious -- Good stand Bro, KLK KLK Boom. -- Devastator

(singing)  Hey ho!  The Stark is dead!  Which ole Stark?  THE SLASHER STARK!  Hey ho!
The Iron Tiger's DEAD!  Come on you sleepy head!  Rub your eyes!  Get out of bed!
Smoke a blunt!  THE SLASHER STARK IS DEEEEEAAAAADDDD!!! -- Suicidal Dreams Guild

Kill 'Em Krepp -- Big one aren't ya? -- Bookie

Matrix -- No bloodfeud over Neo?  Just figured with a Matrix theme Neo would've been
your best warrior.  Tsk tsk.  Guess he wasn't that important to the storyline after
all.  So much for that "chosen one" crap.  Trinity mustn't of loved you that much
dead-boy.  And you've stopped running all but ONE warrior.  Anybody wanna bet Mr.
Anderson stops at 4 FE?  Looks like you're cutting losses and breaking camp.  Hey, we
advertised the kill contest.  Can't say we didn't warn ya.  If the arena's too much
for ya, just say so.  Run Rabbit Run. -- Bookie
P.S.  So much for a trilogy, huh?

     Maybe after seeing that second one, it was time to cut their losses? -- Ed.

Section Hate -- Philthy Phil, right?  Kinda funny.  I know a Phillip and he's pretty
filthy.  Ask Polarius and Uncle Charlie. -- Bookie

Uncle Charlie -- Chug!  Chug!  Chug! -- Bookie

Is it just me or is Drips vs. Trojan Man just too funny to not happen?  It's
inevitable.  Let's see how much protection Trojans really give. (evil grin) -- Bookie
P.S.  Kill 'em Drips!!!  Kill that Froth'n lunger DEAD!!!  Bwahahaha.

Hmm, either I went way over the line and got edited or they lost a page of my
personals last turn.  (shrug)  Oh well. -- Bookie

     *wild laughter*  Yes, I'm editing EVERYONE!  *ahem*  Oh, never mind, it's here
     this turn. -- Ed.

Agent Smith (this shoulda run last turn but this is for Polarius) -- Challenged by
you, what could I do?  Bibidy-Bobidy-Boo.  Smacked you around and you fell down.
Bibidy-Bobidy-Boo, Flippidy-Floppidy, Hey there buddy screw you! (curtsey and exit
stage left) -- Bibidy-Bobidy-Boo

Drips -- It itches.  You sick bastard.  It itches. -- Shadow

Up-In-Ya -- Know what?  I like your mouth. (evil grin)  You're a welcome addition to
Jhans!  But I got a question.  Your rantings sound familiar.  What's your other
managerial names?  (grin)  Anyway, thank for the competition and the attitude. --
P.S.  DA those scum and get ya a team!  It's much more fun with full squads (more
people to kill).

Woelfe -- Welcome to Jhans!  I think you'll find the competition fierce and the ads
hopping!  Don't consider yourself fodder.  Everyone's still basically down in the
Inits.  It's wide-open.  Good luck and brace for impact.  This arena's 'bout to get
nasty. -- Bookie
P.S.  On second thought, the arena already IS nasty.

Iver -- Welcome the Froth back man!  (grin)  If I can get Ultraist and Uncle Charlie
to stay we can have a DOOMcorps reunion movie.  (I'm pretty sure we could hire Adam
Sandler to play Doc LeMa$e).  Hope things are good with you and see you on the sands!
-- Bookie
P.S.  You're here for the kill contest, right?

Shocking Toad -- Which team am I in here?  Hmmm.  Let me think.  Could it to be
Suicidal Dreams?  THE EXACT SAME TEAM NAME I HAVE IN OSKSI!!  Wow.  What a Froth'n
coincidence.  Am I confused?  Yea.  Confused on how you couldn't figure that out!
You're a republican AND an idiot.  Who would've figured the two are the same.  (evil
grin--JLK, Polarius) one thing I'm not confused about though is why you took so long
to open your mouth.  If I'd been over 50% BEFORE someone showed up and then eleven
fights under only seven turns AFTER they showed up I woulda kept my mouth shut too.
But thanks for identifying yourself and drawing a bullseye on all your warriors for
me.  Prepare to get KLK boomed! -- Bookie, who is 4-1 vs. you in Jhans
P.S.  (ding) (ding)  Let the fight begin!

Ultraist -- (smile)  Glad to see you took my ad as it was meant.  I really wish you'd
stick around.  DOOMcorp reunion.  Look at how the arena is.  It'll be fun! -- Bookie

Drips -- Either you're a very very blessed striker, a prize altered guy, or a tourney
baby.  You're a little too cocky 'bout tellin' your style.  Somethin's fishy.  Oh
wait!  That's your mom! (grin)  Since you're SO anxious for a loss how 'bout I spice
it up for ya. -- Bookie

All -- Since Drips wants a loss I'll do one better.  Anyone who kills Drips I'll pay
for your turn. (evil grin)  We're bringin' back the bounty, baby! -- Bookie

Arachne's back.  Set Lungers to kill.  The Aimbee has to die. (evil grin) -- Bookie

Drips -- Ya know, if you weren't spreading it to girls AND guys it wouldn't be so
disturbing. -- Badda Bamm, having bad nightmares 'bout being a choir boy
P.S.  Is it supposed to burn when I pee now?

Tiki Bob -- To quote Frosty who paraphrased Kimbali and to keep this running joke
going:  G'damn night club. -- Shadow
P.S.  Maybe that blow to the groin wouldn't have glanced off if there'd been more of
a target.

Up-In-Ya -- What's your beef with Youngblood and the firm?  I don't care for 'em
myself.  I'm just nosey. -- Bookie

Turtle -- 3-2.  How damn.  Good job.  Told ya you were ready! -- Bookie

Polarius -- Well to ease your mind President Bush does NOT love cocaine.  He just
loves the smell. (evil grin) -- Bookie

Jinx -- Congrats on the graduation. -- Bookie
P.S.  Treaty with Toad, huh?  Haven't you heard that if you lie with toads you can
catch downchallenges?

Polarius -- This just in:  The Firm poked their heads out and saw their shadows.
Looks like three more weeks of winter.  Drats! -- Bookie

Big Bed -- I see you're as fierce as Brown Kitty was. (uncontrollable laughter) --
Huggy Bear, Suicidal Dreams, the same Froth'n team name that's in Osksi

Brickhosue -- Grr.  I tried. -- Bibidy-Bobidy-Boo

Papa Bear -- Once, just once, for old times sake send in ONE ad.  Puh puh please. --

Section Hate -- Who's your manager? -- Bookie

Eruption -- I know how you got that name.  With all that blood spurting from your
chest it looked like an eruption!  Only thing wrong with that fight is I left you
breathing.  I'll do my best to rectify that situation ASAP. -- Frosty McCloud

All -- I'm back biznitches.  Back to win the kill contest.  I see Gone Country has
quit running.  Figures, he was easier than a $2 Ho in tha hood.  This is my time.
After I beat ya'll I going to smoke my magic blunt.  If you want some come get some.
-- KLK 4 Life=Brewha

Polarius -- Haaa!  Haa...well damn near a genius.  Don't hand me that crap about
everyone around me was inactive.  I do not care for any explanation that you may
attempt to force feed me!  I am not an Andorian...I am a Dwarf and a very nasty one
at that!!!  I will not tolerate any more disrespect out of you; if you continue I
will slay your whole damn stable!  "Got that!!!!" -- Drips/STDS!

Badda Bamm -- I only challenged you because, after all...everyone within range to
challenge was/in inactive!!!  I learn very fast don't I?  Heee...Heee...Heee!  Hey!!!
Polarius taught me that one!  Smile!  Give your Golem buddy  my best wishes "Shadow
Starr!" -- Drips

Trojan Man -- What da hell...where the hell you come from?  I'll keep a close eye on
you! -- Drips

Polarius -- "Hey!"  You have forgot to tell the whole story concerning who was
lurking in the shadows of this fine city...alone with my mother, sister and
grandmother lurking in the shadows...your mother and grandmother were also found
right alongside of my family members who were all caught in the buff doing the nasty!
Please from now on...when you tell or spread the story/rumor...please tell the whole
uncut version...not your interpretation of it!!!  That way, I won't have to keep
embarrassing you in public.  Smile!  I like to talk crap and have very thick skin...
bring it chump! -- Up-In-Ya a.k.a. Sir Chester

Bookie -- I'll tell my grandmother that she left her teeth in your buggy and where to
pick them up at.  Sorry about that! -- Drips!

Bookie -- Know the difference between being Polarius and Bipolar?  Absolutely none at
all!!! -- Up-In-Ya/Sir Chester

All -- Doesn't look as though we are going to get many more managers in here for that
so called Kill Contest. -- Up-In-Ya

All -- Can't wait until I can add another gladiator to my stable...so, he too, can
kick the hell out of your sleazy fighters. -- Up-In-Ya...soon!

All -- Know the difference between "Blitzkrieg" and "Sewage"???  NONE!!! -- Always...

All -- I'm back KLK and we shall rule all! -- The Dreaming

Marek -- I challenge you again to see if you can fight better. -- Corinthian

All -- Hey anybody who wishes to challenge me and feels froggy enough, leap on this
lily pad. -- Shawnda

Blitzkrieg -- Thank you for the good fight and teaching me a new skill.  It really
helps in the long run.  Hola. -- Shawnda

All -- Can anyone defeat me ha ha ha. :) -- Cluracan

4 February 2004
Greeting from Jhans, DM 36 -- In 2 turns the kLk will host our first annual "St.
Valentines Day Massacre" in Jhans, arena 36.  (Kill Contest)  The contest will begin
on turn 450.  It will run for 10 turns.  On turn 461 the winners will be announced.
There will be 3 separate categories, the team with the most kills, the alliance with
the most kills, and the warrior with the most kills.  For the manager of the team
with the most kills a PRIZE of 10 ROLL-UPS will be rewarded (or $50 deposited into
his account).  No need to declare yourself in the personals.  If you are in DM 36,
you will be part of the contest whether you like it or not.  We encourage as much
trash talk as you'd like.  All teams, managers, and alliances invited.  Please
contact Polarius (mgr. of Blitzkrieg) in DM 36 with questions.  Or you can email me
at jamieptmo@hotmail.com.  Good luck and see you in the sands. -- Polarius

25 February 2004
Readers, and especially those who volunteered warriors -- My apologies for the sudden
lack of episodes.  I've been sick, but expect to be back at the keyboard soon. -- the

3 March 2004

     Mongo, aka Matt McIntosh and ex-Warden of the Dark Circle, is auctioning off his
entire collection of Duelmasters warriors and stables.  Don't miss out on this chance
to own some fantastic warriors!  There are ADM warriors available in every class from
Primus to Freshmen, as well as over a dozen Basic stables.
     Does a Slasher with +4 attack, +4 decisiveness, +3 initiative and +2 riposte
sound good?  How about a Lunger who received the benefit of a TC prize, has TVed
three times after graduating--and still hasn't maxed out his skills!?  How about a
Striker in the Freshmen class who has decisiveness for a favorite learn and the MAUL
for a favorite weapon!?
     Or perhaps you prefer playing in Basic.  Then how does a stable with four Adept
class warriors who have a combined record of 41-19-9 sound?  Or maybe a stable with
three 21-Will warriors?  Or perhaps a stable with four Initiates and a Rookie who
have a combined record of 23-6-1?
     The quality of the lots is excellent.  All you need to view and bid on the lots
is go to:
     If you want to be on the mailing list to receive regular updates on the auction,
just send an e-mail to JVMerlino@aol.com. Merlin, aka John Merlino and also an ex-
Warden of the Dark Circle, will be running this auction for me.  I just moved to New
Orleans and am likely currently stumbling around the French Quarter...because it's
Mardi Gras!  So I have named my auction in honor of this occasion.
     The auction will start on Saturday, March 13th, 2004, and will continue for
several weeks.  But you should get your bids in early if you want your best chance at
owning any of these fantastic warriors and stables.
     Many thanks to all for your interest and your bids,


                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

HATRED butchered SUPERIOR MANAGER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
PSYCHO was butchered by SLIPPERS MCGHEE in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
BOOKIE BLUNDER was killed by HIGH ELF in a 2 minute Dark Arena melee.
RENEE was murdered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
EQUIVOCAL MONK was slaughtered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
TARGEN bested MAC in a exciting 1 minute veteran's Bloodfeud fight.
MOGASH was viciously subdued by STRIKER in a 1 minute gory beginner's Bloodfeud brawl.
SKIRZA SLAPSTIK unbelievably bested DRIPS in a 8 minute Challenge match.
RAVAGE defeated WASTEM WUORNOS in a 2 minute Challenge melee.
DONNA vanquished TANTRIC in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
UNION JACK vanquished CONFESSION in a 3 minute uneven Challenge fight.
OBLIVIOUS unbelievably bested TROJAN MAN in a 6 minute Challenge fight.
ARACHNE overpowered TIKI BOB in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
MARCIE handily defeated DEVASTATOR in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
BIG BED was bested by FROSTY MCCLOUD in a 1 minute amateur's Challenge bout.
BADDA BAMM handily defeated SLASHIN' SPECK in a 1 minute gory uneven Challenge fight.
CLURACAN bested MR. ANDERSON in a action packed 5 minute brutal Challenge duel.
DEL MONTE was devastated by PIGFEED PICKTAN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
RAIMONDO was overpowered by DEFIANCE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
MAREK was executed by BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
CAIN was savagely defeated by SLAYIN STAYNER in a 6 minute Challenge conflict.
SHAWNDA was defeated by FRANCOIS in a 2 minute novice's Challenge duel.
ERRUPTION was beaten by SHADOW STARR in a action packed 1 minute Challenge fray.
CHIEF BLING-BLING$ was outwaited by BRICKHOUSE in a 21 minute Challenge bout.
BADDA BLING was defeated by KILL'EM KREPP in a 1 minute beginner's Challenge fight.
KATHLEEN defeated PINK BEAR in a popular 3 minute brutal veteran's Title duel.
KERRY BEAR vanquished CORINTHIAN in a 1 minute uneven bout.
BADDA BANG overcame LIL' DEAD GIRL in a action packed 1 minute brutal bout.
HUGGY BEAR handily defeated JEALOUSY RAINS in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
SCORPINE defeated DEATH STRYKE in a action packed 6 minute beginner's fight.
CLUTCH SHUTTLE defeated DARK ANGEL in a popular 2 minute novice's match.
DRIVER defeated PROMISCUOUS QUEEN in a 1 minute novice's bout.
KRAZY KLOWN was overpowered by SUBZERO in a crowd pleasing 1 minute one-sided fray.
KANE overpowered POLITE BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
BUDDHA/NEW was luckily beaten by NIGHTWING in a 2 minute gruesome novice's struggle.
LUCIFERI was outlasted by BROWN KITTY TOO in a unpopular 11 minute novice's match.
PSYCHO demolished SYPHILIS in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
BLUEBEARD beat ANOTHER BLANKEE in a popular 1 minute duel.
SILVER KITTY was easily killed by ENVIOUS KING in a 1 minute mismatched match.
BASHFUL COMPLEX vanquished PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  25         WALL OF STEEL     23 -   9 -  0      72  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 12         TOTAL PARRY       30 -  15 -  0      67  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   8         STRIKING ATTACK   36 -  35 -  4      51  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      8         LUNGING ATTACK    66 -  91 -  8      42  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   3 -  0      40  |
|AIMED BLOW                       6         AIMED BLOW         7 -  11 -  0      39  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         BASHING ATTACK    17 -  29 -  1      37  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         SLASHING ATTACK   11 -  23 -  1      32  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -   3 -  0      25  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   8 -  0       0  |

Turn 451 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      3 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK    11 - 14         3  WALL OF STEEL  
BASHING ATTACK     5 -  3     SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  4         3  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        5 -  3     AIMED BLOW         1 -  5         2  AIMED BLOW     
STRIKING ATTACK    7 -  5     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  2         1  TOTAL PARRY    

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    KATHLEEN 5865              16   8  0   94 BABES (416)
STRIKING ATTACK  KERRY BEAR 3994             8   5  0   58 BLITZKRIEG (271)
TOTAL PARRY      UNION JACK 6015             8   0  0   49 BLITZKRIEG (271)
AIMED BLOW       ARACHNE 5712                3   0  0   41 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
SLASHING ATTACK  RAVAGE 5993                 6   3  0   35 THE FALLEN (524)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is KERRY BEAR 3994.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was DRIPS 6066.  The ten other most popular fighters were DEATH STRYKE 6019, TROJAN 
RAVAGE 5993, ARACHNE 5712, BADDA BANG 6013, and CONFESSION 6003.

The least popular fighter this week was BRICKHOUSE 5960.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were CHIEF BLING-BLING$ 6091, LUCIFERI 6018, CAIN 6073, SILVER KITTY 6116, 
6034, and MAREK 6041.

The following warriors have traveled to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after fighting this turn:

TARGEN (36-5783) IRON TIGERS (484)