DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER Date : 03/04/2004 Duedate: 03/17/2004 JHANS ARENA DM-36 TURN-452 This Weeks Top Honors THE DUELMASTER IS HALO 14 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504) (36-5711) [12-9-1,93] Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader HALO 14 OBLIVIOUS BLIND HYPOCRISY (504) KAMIKAZI (533) (36-5711) [12-9-1,93] (36-6101) [4-0-0,43] Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite KERRY BEAR KERRY BEAR BLITZKRIEG (271) BLITZKRIEG (271) (36-3994) [8-6-0,55] (36-3994) [8-6-0,55] THE CURRENT TOP TEAM KAMIKAZI (533) TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team 1. STDS (534) 44 2. THE FALLEN (524) 40 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504) 3. SHADOW SOLDIERS (530) 36 Unchartered Team 4. VAGRANT REGIME (539) 32 5. LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515) 26 THE CRIMSON TIDE (426) The Top Teams Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 1- 1*SUPERIOR HORDE 196 (528) 1 0 0 100 1/ 4*KAMIKAZI (533) 10 4 0 2/ 0*THE CRIMSON TIDE (426) 3 1 1 75.0 2/ 1 BLITZKRIEG (271) 10 5 1 3/ 0*VAGRANT REGIME (539) 3 2 0 60.0 3/ 3 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525) 9 6 3 4/ 2 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504) 43 30 5 58.9 4/ 6 THE FALLEN (524) 8 7 0 5- 4*THE BREW CREW (526) 8 7 0 53.3 5- 7 ANARKYSTS (341) 6 4 0 6/ 5 BABES (416) 204 183 6 52.7 6/10 BABES (416) 6 5 0 7/ 6 BLITZKRIEG (271) 131 123 13 51.6 7/12 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504) 6 7 0 8/ 7 HELTER SKELTER (256) 493 471 29 51.1 8/ 2 SECTION HATE (491) 6 9 1 9/ 8 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525) 25 25 4 50.0 9/ 9*SHADOW SOLDIERS (530) 5 10 0 10/14*KAMIKAZI (533) 12 12 1 50.0 10/13 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515) 4 7 1 11/11*THE MATRIX (531) 6 6 0 50.0 11/ 0*THE CRIMSON TIDE (426) 3 1 1 12/ 9 THE FALLEN (524) 24 26 1 48.0 12/ 0*VAGRANT REGIME (539) 3 2 0 13-10 ANARKYSTS (341) 301 353 33 46.0 13-11*THE BREW CREW (526) 3 2 0 14-12 IRON TIGERS (484) 107 129 16 45.3 14- 5 IRON TIGERS (484) 3 3 1 15/15 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515) 51 65 8 44.0 15/18 HELTER SKELTER (256) 2 1 0 16/ 3*STDS (534) 5 7 1 41.7 16/16*THE MATRIX (531) 2 1 0 17/13*THE DREAMING (529) 10 15 1 40.0 17-14*ABYSMAL BEHAVIORS (538) 2 3 1 18-16*ABYSMAL BEHAVIORS (538) 2 3 1 40.0 18/15*STDS (534) 2 7 1 Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K 19/17 SECTION HATE (491) 86 138 12 38.4 19/ 8*THE DREAMING (529) 2 8 0 20/18*SHADOW SOLDIERS (530) 7 13 0 35.0 20-17*SUPERIOR HORDE 196 (528) 1 0 0 21-19*SHATTERED DREAMS (527) 5 20 2 20.0 21-19*SHATTERED DREAMS (527) 0 5 0 '*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn (###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank TEAM SPOTLIGHT + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Out of the Past #3 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ + Valamantis: Hallie O'Dene did not stay in Valamantis. She hadn't been able to get an audience with the ruler of the city-state, Garlor Shanmarrik, and the clerk to whom she had given her warning had been...disbelieving. Had, in fact, threatened her with imprisonment if she "stirred up unrest." A very proper bureaucrat, he'd been. Hallie considered slicing off his ears and nailing them to the wall, or possibly nailing the man's ears to the wall without slicing them off, but such action would serve no purpose but to express her anger, so she didn't. There really wasn't any point in that. She gave her warning to Arenamistress Sitalva, who was at least polite, and then went on her way. Carefully circling wide around the ruins of Old Valamantis and ghosts of the ancient city that came and went unstably above them. The people of Valamantis, in the person of the Lord's clerk, had chosen to ignore her warning, and there were others she had to find and warn, others who might listen. Arenamistress Sitalva did not exactly believe Hallie's warning about the danger from the Bloodgames, but she didn't disbelieve, either. She had already seen the mirage-like ancient towers above the bloody ground. She had seen those ghostly towers before, after other Bloodgames, had accepted them as a normal illusion there. Maybe she needed to re-think "normal." She couldn't imagine anyone resurrecting Old Valamantis for any kind of GOOD reason. The oldest levels of the city were Folstrom. And saturated with dark magic. Mordant: Mordant was like a stirred up hive of bees, full of activity, and hostile to any stranger who had the misfortune to get in the way. She guessed that she wouldn't have any more luck getting in to see Queen Talissen of Mordant than she had in Valamantis. Which was frustrating, since it was a serious warning she had to deliver. Well, she hadn't expected this to be easy.... After a moment's thought, she headed straight for the arena, bypassing the palace entirely. There would be people who'd listen to her at the arena, because she was one of them. Kakar was arenamaster in Mordant, she'd met him once. A grim man, but who wouldn't be if they had to live in Mordant? She avoided looking at the pitted black stone that most of the city was built of, and the windowless architecture. The Mordanti were a grim people all around. The arena was seething with activity and speculation, though it wasn't fight day. Rumors were flying; before she managed to locate the arenamaster, Hallie heard seven different versions of "an attack on the Queen!" which had been foiled by a gladiator, or maybe more than one gladiator, or maybe it had been made by a gladiator, or only reported by a gladiator, or.... The attack on the Queen, if it had happened at all, was the main topic, but there was a froth of other rumors in the background: monsters in various likely or unlikely places, out in the swamp, down in Valamantis, in the Syrinwald lake, or up in the mountains. A war that might or might not be happening between two different kingdoms in the south, and even the supposed participants kept changing--Trocar, Rocanis, Xochithlan, the wild Rirorni. Banditry around Tricorus; she shrugged that one off. There was always banditry around Tricorus. Arenamaster Kakar was closeted with a sober looking man, tall for a Kannar, and richly dressed. Kakar didn't actually refuse to listen to Hallie, but he made it clear that he didn't have much time to spare. Hallie shrugged. The way things had been going since she'd set out to spread the warning, his attitude was no surprise. She wondered in passing whether Khaldren could have managed some kind of spell that made people unwilling to listen. Not that it mattered at the moment. "I bring word of a powerful wizard who has come out of the past to spread disaster in our time," she began. "He is a wizard from drowned Krael, and he claims the intention to resurrect Celestinvael and other lost cities and build a new empire in Alastari." The tall man leaned forward, suddenly frowning. "Celestinvael is five hundred years dead," he stated. "How can this be 'resurrected'?" Celestinvael was also, Hallie knew, the closest of the dangerous ruins to Mordant, unless you counted Old Valamantis--which Khaldren hadn't mentioned. "I'm no wizard," she answered. "I don't know. But he stated his intention to use 'blood magic' to do it, which he believes will work even with the Arcanum in flux." She shrugged. "I don't know about magic, but he seemed confidant, and I saw him work spells of great power." "No doubt we've mages around who can confirm or deny this possibility," the tall man said. "I will carry the warning to Queen Talissen and set our magicians to work." Seeing her surprise, he added, "I am Allech Rabo, Her Majesty's Herald. I have the authority to take these steps." "Good! You might pass word to Valamantis, too--I couldn't get to see anyone but a damned clerk. If it's blood magic at work, well, there was a lot of blood spilled in Old Valamantis just over a month ago--" "Mordan!" The Herald leaped to his feet. "The Bloodgames! If blood magic still works, then the danger is extreme! I must go to the Queen at once!" "And I will speak to the gladiators of this city about the dangers ahead," Kakar said when the Herald had gone. "Doubtless they will be called upon to take arms against enemies of Mordant." Iaye: The first ground tremors made people uneasy, but no more than that. There had been small earthquakes for months now, mostly centered on Seam and its underground disturbances. They posed no threat to the island, except in the case of those boats who were just coming into the docks when tremor-waves hit. And even that...the sailors of Iaye were skilled, and they had learned to deal with it. But the mild tremors didn't stop, they were replaced by serious jolts, and the ground underfoot shivered like jelly in a bowl. All the sailors who could took their ships out of the harbor and around the island toward the center of the Trier. No one wanted to get caught by a bigger wave than usual and shoved onto a rocky shore. Once the ships were safely away from the land, alarm turned to eager speculation. Did this herald new geysers for Seam? Would a volcano erupt and destroy the town entirely? Bets were placed. After all, Seam wasn't THEIR town.... Or maybe this quake would strike a little closer to home, like the one that had cracked open the Ogre's Tomb in Point. That thought sobered people. There had been...things in the Tomb, and it had taken all the warriors who could reach Point to deal with them. What else might be down there, to be released by a fresh earthquake? They didn't really want to know. Most of the ships were strung out parallel to the coast north of Point and Iaye. Far enough apart not to damage each other if something went wrong, close enough to pass messages along. The message that came up from the southern end of the line near sunset was unexpected, and more than a little alarming. Everyone knew there were ruins under the lake between Point and the island of Iaye. But nobody had expected them to rise. And none of the half-remembered stories of Krael made people happy about the great city's reappearance. SPY REPORT Oh, hi. Its just little 'ol Debby Tonte. Thought I'd check out JHANS to see what's new. Too bad, BLITZKRIEG, but KAMIKAZI was just too good to be stopped. See if I even talk to any of those losers in THE DREAMING again! Didja see where they got 1-4-0? Somebody musta won a lotta fights! BLIND HYPOCRISY like really fought hard to move up to 7th from 12th. Way to go! Cut this out and put it in your scrapbooks, KAMIKAZI! 'Cause they got 3-1-0 and moved up to 1st! I talked to THE CRIMSON TIDE's manager before the fights. He said, "We're gonna do good." And look at this: 3-1-1! Psychic, or what! MVP award for DEVASTATOR? THE FALLEN's proud of him after beating BROWN KITTY TOO and getting 14 points. Talk about yer major upsets! ARACHNE's match with DONNA cost him a loss of 10 points! And I was just getting used to the ex-Duelmaster's habit of...(!) Oh well, welcome HALO 14. Aren't BLIND HYPOCRISY proud. (Oh, my.) I hear the top team insists all their warriors get nine hours sleep. They want photogenic fighters for PR photos. I gotta admit I haven't been in "deep con caves" with any spies. Really, I just wing this stuff. The warriors of SECTION HATE must be getting lonely. They were the most avoided team. Do you guys know something that I don't? Is there some deep dark secret why THE DREAMING's been avoiding SECTION HATE so much? Or is it just that they're too scared? Can LITTLE GIRLS LIKE...'s ANOTHER BLANKEE be more popular than me? She was challenged the most, but is that really the same? CONFESSION is being unfair. He's challenged down 28 against SYPHILIS. I don't know why they let this stuff go on. (I'd better shut up) Is this how BLIND HYPOCRISY advances, by having their members (CONFESSION) fight people that are really below them (SYPHILIS)? See if I ever talk to CORINTHIAN again! DEL MONTE was so low when He challenged he. Hhmph! DEL MONTE is a real man! He was challenged by CORINTHIAN, 21 points above, and BEAT him! Dark Arena, anyone? Some fights are really unfair. How do you think ANOTHER BLANKEE feels about being challenged by SUBZERO, 25 points above her? SUBZERO beat ANOTHER BLANKEE. No surprise about that. Really I'm not surprised SUBZERO would do such a scummy thing, either. Man, all these warriors dying and killing each other! Don't you guys ever give it a break? Like, who is this gal??? BIG BED gets sent to the Dark Arena, battles SUPERIOR MANAGER, and returns to tell of it!!! I bet LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... manager is surprised! Pinch me, I must be dreaming!!! 'E' COLE I returns from the Dark Arena, maybe a "little upset" at its STDS teammates... That was so totally rude when BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO wasted RAIMONDO. I think all you warriors in JHANS should gang up on SUICIDAL DREAMS! FRANCOIS bloodfeuded (is that a word?) STRIKER for revenge over some guy's bad fortune. Was it really worth it? What if they had a fight and nobody showed up? I'd be out of a job, that's what!!! I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid. Who would've guessed I'd be a famous Spyreporter? I gotta leave. JHANS is like such a dump, and you guys smell too much! Remember you guys, ease up sometimes! Chill out! Later, Debby Tonte DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME HALO 14 5711 12 9 1 93 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504) CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -POSTMASTER P 5182 20 11 0 133 HELTER SKELTER (256) CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME PINK BEAR 5883 16 8 1 83 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515) KATHLEEN 5865 16 9 0 78 BABES (416) MAC 3965 8 9 2 73 BLITZKRIEG (271) CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME SKIRZA SLAPSTIK 5996 8 2 0 63 THE FALLEN (524) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME KERRY BEAR 3994 8 6 0 55 BLITZKRIEG (271) DONNA 5966 6 5 0 54 BABES (416) UNION JACK 6015 9 0 0 51 BLITZKRIEG (271) RAVAGE 5993 7 3 0 47 THE FALLEN (524) OBLIVIOUS 6101 4 0 0 43 KAMIKAZI (533) MARCIE 6076 3 2 0 42 BABES (416) -MAZRIM 5911 6 1 0 38 IRON TIGERS (484) DRIPS 6066 4 2 0 38 STDS (534) ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME BRICKHOUSE 5960 8 1 0 35 SECTION HATE (491) CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME TROJAN MAN 5710 7 4 2 33 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504) 'E' COLE I 6065 1 0 1 33 STDS (534) BIG BED 6088 1 3 1 33 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515) BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO 6085 4 1 2 32 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525) CONFESSION 6003 4 1 0 32 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504) HUGGY BEAR 6002 6 4 0 31 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525) -SLAYIN STAYNER 5891 4 0 0 31 ANARKYSTS (341) ARACHNE 5712 3 1 0 31 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504) FRANCOIS 6038 3 1 0 30 SHADOW SOLDIERS (530) SUBZERO 6120 3 0 0 28 KAMIKAZI (533) TIKI BOB 6004 8 3 0 27 BLITZKRIEG (271) CLURACAN 6035 4 1 0 26 THE DREAMING (529) -SLASHIN' SPECK 5854 5 9 1 25 ANARKYSTS (341) -KILL'EM KREPP 5892 4 0 0 25 ANARKYSTS (341) DEL MONTE 6115 2 1 0 25 SHADOW SOLDIERS (530) TANTRIC 6036 4 4 1 24 BLITZKRIEG (271) -KANE 6020 3 0 0 24 THE BREW CREW (526) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME MR. ANDERSON 6043 3 2 0 22 THE MATRIX (531) DEVASTATOR 6079 2 4 0 22 THE FALLEN (524) SHADOW STARR 5999 5 5 1 21 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525) BADDA BAMM 6075 3 3 0 21 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525) JEALOUSY RAINS 5995 3 7 1 20 THE FALLEN (524) SHAWNDA 6032 3 2 0 19 THE DREAMING (529) FROSTY MCCLOUD 6086 2 3 0 18 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525) CLUTCH SHUTTLE 6060 3 1 0 17 HELTER SKELTER (256) -PIGFEED PICKTAN 6124 2 0 0 17 ANARKYSTS (341) BADDA BANG 6013 2 7 0 16 THE FALLEN (524) -BASHFUL COMPLEX 6113 1 0 0 15 ABYSMAL BEHAVIORS (538) -BLUEBEARD 6029 1 0 0 13 SUPERIOR HORDE 196L (528) DRIVER 6055 3 2 1 12 KAMIKAZI (533) -DEWCLAW 6100 1 0 0 12 IRON TIGERS (484) -FRANKENSLOSH 5901 3 1 0 11 HELTER SKELTER (256) -THE ONE 6046 2 0 0 11 THE MATRIX (531) -ENVIOUS KING 6109 1 0 1 11 ABYSMAL BEHAVIORS (538) -PSYCHO 6017 1 2 0 11 THE BREW CREW (526) LEOTSU 4655 1 0 0 11 THE CRIMSON TIDE (426) CORINTHIAN 6034 2 3 1 10 THE DREAMING (529) HOPE DESTRUCTOR 6131 1 0 0 10 VAGRANT REGIME (539) BRAIN COLLECTOR 6134 1 0 0 10 VAGRANT REGIME (539) DUSTY CHERUB 6135 1 0 0 10 VAGRANT REGIME (539) STRIKER 6093 2 2 1 9 SECTION HATE (491) -KRAZY KLOWN 6023 2 3 0 9 SHATTERED DREAMS (527) SCORPINE 6119 2 1 0 9 KAMIKAZI (533) -NIGHTWING 6092 1 0 0 9 THE BREW CREW (526) MOGASH 6037 2 2 0 8 SHADOW SOLDIERS (530) DEFIANCE 6122 1 2 0 8 SECTION HATE (491) -AGENT SMITH 6042 1 1 0 8 THE MATRIX (531) -LUCIFERI 6018 2 1 0 7 THE BREW CREW (526) -BUDDHA/NEW 6058 1 3 1 7 SHATTERED DREAMS (527) JACK RIPPER 4651 1 0 1 7 THE CRIMSON TIDE (426) -LIL' DEAD GIRL 6081 1 2 0 6 SHATTERED DREAMS (527) CAIN 6073 1 3 0 6 THE DREAMING (529) LUCA 4653 1 0 0 5 THE CRIMSON TIDE (426) -DARK ANGEL 6025 0 5 0 5 SHATTERED DREAMS (527) -WASTEM WUORNOS 6123 0 2 0 5 ANARKYSTS (341) BROWN KITTY TOO 6118 1 1 0 4 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515) -DYNIT 6083 1 1 0 4 IRON TIGERS (484) -DEATH STRYKE 6019 0 3 0 3 THE BREW CREW (526) INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME -BADDA BLING 6080 0 3 0 3 SHATTERED DREAMS (527) ANOTHER BLANKEE 6117 0 2 0 3 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515) CHIEF BLING-BLING$ 6091 0 3 0 3 THE DREAMING (529) SYPHILIS 6129 0 2 0 2 STDS (534) WRETCHED WIGHT 6132 0 1 0 1 VAGRANT REGIME (539) -PROMISCUOUS QUEEN 6112 0 1 0 1 ABYSMAL BEHAVIORS (538) KILROY WUZ HERE 6139 0 1 0 1 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504) -POLITE BEGGAR 6111 0 1 0 1 ABYSMAL BEHAVIORS (538) CRACKED DOLL 6133 0 1 0 1 VAGRANT REGIME (539) CAVEMAN 4652 0 1 0 1 THE CRIMSON TIDE (426) '-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn. THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge? HELENA 6128 0 1 0 BABES 416 HIGH ELF 19 452 NONE SUPERIOR MANAGER 22 0 1 0 DARK ARENA 0 BIG BED 6088 452 NONE RILLION 21 0 1 0 DARK ARENA 0 'E' COLE I 6065 452 NONE CHAOS TUESDAY 6121 0 1 0 HELTER SKELTER 256 BLACK ORC 20 452 NONE STARK 5905 6 7 1 IRON TIGERS 484 MAC 3965 450 REVENGED SILVER KITTY 6116 0 1 0 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE 515 ENVIOUS KING 6109 451 NEO 6045 0 1 0 THE MATRIX 531 DRIVER 6055 448 NOT REVE HATRED 5938 4 6 1 SECTION HATE 491 RILLION 21 452 NONE ERRUPTION 6094 0 4 0 SECTION HATE 491 SHADOW STARR 5999 452 RAIMONDO 6114 0 3 0 SHADOW SOLDIERS 530 BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BO 6085 452 PHOENIX 6138 0 1 0 SHADOW SOLDIERS 530 JACK RIPPER 4651 452 PAPI 6039 0 1 0 SHADOW SOLDIERS 530 STRIKER 6093 449 JUST REV MAREK 6041 0 3 0 SHADOW SOLDIERS 530 BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BO 6085 451 DARK WONDER 6062 0 1 0 STDS 534 BLACK ORC 20 452 NONE DARK FINK 6064 0 1 0 STDS 534 BANDIT PRINCE 25 452 NONE PERSONAL ADS Bookie -- You just don't matter enough for me to pay attention to your team name. I also thought rather than ASS-U-ME, I would show you the courtesy of asking your team name. Finally, as I mentioned in Osksi, I'll leave it to you to name call as you have nothing intelligent to offer. -- Shocking Toad Kathleen -- Well fought. Kayla's sad but it was a great fight. -- Pink Bear Drips -- My Mother and Grandmother do frequent the streets and back alleys of Jhans. They, and other members of their church, often try to provide food and counseling to the scum and trash who live (and in your family's case work) in the streets. -- Polarius (smile) Drips -- Hey, I just had a thought. If Bookie were elected Mayor of Jhans he would probably raise all of our taxes and provide services to your mother, grandmother, and sister who work the streets of Jhans. Don't worry though, I'm sure he wouldn't make them prove they are trying to find respectable work to continue receiving benefits. In fact, they would be able to retire from their work in the streets. No more back and knee scratches/injuries. -- Polarius Jhans -- I see that Superior Manager was killed last turn. No big loss. He was a whining Andorian anyway. -- Polarius Silver Stroke -- Welcome to Jhans. Which alliance's banner do you fight under? -- Polarius Bookie -- Adam Sandler playing LaMa$e??? I was thinking more like Don Knotts! -- Polarius Targen -- Congrats. I must say I enjoyed our fight. You have honorably avenged your teammate's death and graduated like a true champion. -- MAC P.S. Of course I'd love a rematch but I guess that will have to wait! Corinthian -- Sorry man, bad match up. -- Kerry Bear Confession -- I must confess...I almost broke a sweat fighting you! -- Union Jack P.S. Please tell your manager to keep Arachne away from me! Arachne -- Come on, was all that necessary? Not only did you kick my tail but you broke my new shield. -- Tiki Donna -- Hmm...I was almost ready to quit taking advantage of your lack of skills. I guess I'll have to start challenging you again. -- Blitzkrieg Jhans -- WTF? I have the highest attack on my team and I am freaking 3-4!!!! -- Tantric Bookie -- Very good job on the story. I eagerly await the next installment! -- Polarius P.S. What about a cameo role for LaMa$e? You could have him shining shoes or scrubbing floors! Bookie -- I am sure you will blast me for my political comments last turn! I guess it was a low blow. In fact I am gonna try to look at it from your liberal view point. OK...hmmm...let's cut the defense and intelligence budget and give that money to those poor unfortunates who don't want to work. Ok...let's go to the UN and ask them for forgiveness for wanting to protect our interests from brutal dictators. In fact...let's drop our embargo against a certain harmless brutal dictator only 90 miles off our coast. Oh yeah, and now that the economy is starting to rebound let's raise taxes...yeah...that'll really spur the stock market! And, and, we can donate that money to the UN. (An organization that has a total disregard for human rights.) YEP, I can see it now, we can have an summit with Bin Laden to ask him to forgive us and to please quit attacking us. NO, I think I like my ideas better. I'd rather life in a safe nation and be thought of as arrogant. (Not that anyone would think I am arrogant!) -- Polarius Silver Stroke -- Welcome to Jhans! It's a city with a storied history. Perhaps you'll find it to your liking. Be warned, though, the competition is FIERCE. So bring your "A" game and your best personals (creativity counts!). Swords high and welcome to the kill contest! -- Bookie, Suicidal Dreams P.S. Silver Stroke? Sounds like a bad cross-over episode between Silver Spoons and Different Strokes. At least that's what your name reminds me of. Guess I'm showin' my age. (shrug) Woelfe -- You challenge the host of the contest...you die. (grin) Puh-puh please bloodfeud with Mogash. Bibbidi really wants some of Mogash. -- Bookie Marck -- Challenge by you. You thought I was screwed. Bibiby-Bobidy-Boo. Crit to the head and you fell dead. Bibidy-bobidy, flippidy-floppidy, ha-ha I killed you! -- (curtsy, exit stage left) Bibidy-Bobidy-Boo Woelfe -- Seriously, with as much sympathy as I can have for an adversary in the contest I feel for ya. Losing a four size Slasher. Ouch! Hang in there, dude. -- Bookie Did Jinx graduate Targen and go inactive? I thought he had bigger juevos than that. Guess I was wrong. -- Bookie Silver Stroke -- You killed Silver Kitty last turn. GOOD JOB! Welcome to the "Little Girls Like...having their asses handed to them club." The whole arena's in it already but so nice of you to join us. Shocking Toad hands out wins like they were Snickers at Halloween. Enjoy it! -- Bookie In my neighborhood, no one gets Snickers for Halloween. They never make it past the door.... -- Ed. Silver Kitty -- Here Kitty-Kitty! Here Kitty-Kitty! -- The Morgue Blind Hypocrisy -- Naming a DA warrior after me? Awwww, how sweet. What I ever do to get on your radar? (laugh) If that's your way of saying you got an issue with me: Don't sing it; BRING IT!!! -- Bookie Drips -- Happy now? You got a loss. (evil grin) Nice rating you got too. Now I think I know why you've been on a tear lately (you came expert on the rollup didn't you?). Nice. Very nice. -- Bookie P.S. As a public service the KLK is trying to bury the Aimed blows in here so if you see Arachne or Del Monte...you know what to do. (evil grin) P.P.S. Your grandma came got her teeth. It's cool. She was worth every penny. ALL BOTH of them. (grin) Drips -- Let's talk over drinks. I'd like to talk about your "best wishes." (wink) -- Shadow Shocking Toad -- Thanks for the challenge. Thanks for the win. Thanks for the four skills. You're easier than Drips' Grandma. -- Bookie P.S. That's 5-1.... Sir Chester -- Thick skin and a nasty fighter too? (evil grin) I hate to say this... but you really do fit the group. Your mouth just has that "KLK" flair for the insult. You wanna wear a KLK t-shirt? (evil grin) Man, feels like nWo all over again. (laugh) -- Bookie P.S. If you listen close you can almost hear "Voo-Doo Child" starting to play in the background. (grin) Polarius and Turtle -- G'luck. Looks like one of us will have top team (unless Filthy Phil steals it). May the best managed named Bookie win. (evil grin) -- Bookie Iver -- Talk, you vibrator-seller. -- Bookie This is one weird insult! -- Ed. Geezus Christ look at all the lungers! (laugh) The kill contest is really starting to pick up and with the prize of getting to name a DA warrior thrown in maybe it'll keep improving. Swords high! -- Bookie Manager -- Is that you? "Superior Hordes" sounds like you. If you think we're going to let an ANDORIAN waltz in here and win, you're crazy. Sorry, bro', but you got to go. -- Bookie Jealousy -- Ya think it be alright if I just crashed here tonight? See, I'm in no shape for drivin'. Anyway, I got nowhere to go. Hey, Jealousy! -- Huggy Bear Toad -- You gonna name a warrior "Other Girls" or not? It'd be the coolest thing you ever did. (grin) -- Bookie P.S. Froth you! Editor -- No prob on the last personals. It cool. -- Bookie Azrael -- Bibidy offered Marek "Cake or Death." Guess he wasn't hungry. (shrug) -- Bookie Slashin' Speak -- That's why they call me... -- Badda BAMM Big Bed -- You jumped me but just like your manager's sex life you couldn't finish what you started. Weak. -- Frosty McCloud Brew-ha -- Nice 3-2. Almost there, dude. -- Bookie Shawnda -- Jump on the lilypad, huh? How many people can you fit on that thing? (evil grin) -- Bookie Hoss -- Hang in there, boss. Just hang in there. -- Bookie Psycho -- After that fight or should I say...embarrassment...I had to invoke my deity for some prayer! I will recover and when I do...I'll give you some Syphilis for sure. -- Syphilis/STDS All -- I have sent three more to the Dark Arena this time around and hope for something better. -- Up-In-Ya/STDS Slapstik Sleeze -- (grin) Cognrats on your win...keep in mind that it's not over until I say it's over. I have challenged you this turn #452 and hope you're up for another duel? Hope our manager isn't the "AVOIDING" type? I know for sure that my manager will never avoid anyone and has no regard for my life. We went eight minutes...so...expect more of the same, you stinkin Kannar!!! -- Drips/STDS Bookie -- Be impressed of me all you wish...for I could die in any of my fights and while I'm here...you can be impressed and honor me. (smile) No, I'm not taking what you have said as any sign of weakness nor do I have any expectations of you being easy of me and not try to put me in a box! My manager doesn't respect me as much as you do and that's why he has sent you something in the mail that you may share with your pals!!! So bring on the pain...grin.... -- Drips Polarius -- Fight under the KLK banner...I would love to...that is...if you are not upset after my last personals? (grin) I already know that you do not take these things personally like some I have known in the past!!! (big grin!) Yes, if you will take me aboard...I'd be more than happy to fight under that KLK banner. I really do not see the other banners (Andorian, etc...) if they are here I hope you will direct me towards them. Or maybe they could just speak up and get what's coming to their stables. Hell, I just want to duel and that's all there is to that! -- Drips Azrael -- OH! I see you have me figured out all wrong...I'll be the one who wears that protection when the time comes...don't really know where all those epee holes came from, but maybe it's just me? -- Drips Bookie -- I really had a good gut-busting laugh when I had seen your personal ad concerning the bounty on Drips...I thought I was the only one who did that type of thing??? Hey!!! If someone kills Drips...I will hire another gladiator in his place...can I get 7 to 1 odds on who kills who first??? -- Up-In-Ya Bookie -- My mouth and back side are off limits.... As far as my mother is concerned...well...you might have a good chance with getting with her...get with Polarius. He has the address/town in which you will find her. -- Up-In-Ya! Kerry Bear -- Thanks for the whipping. -- Corinthian Brickhouse -- Next time I'll go 22 min. -- Chief Bling-Bling$ All -- I'm not out of the kill contest yet. KLK-KLK BOOM! -- P-Diddy Francois -- You may have whipped my butt but you still fight like my sister. -- Shawnda All KLK Members -- In the end all the sun shines on will be ours. -- P.Diddy P.S. I thought I told you we won't stop. Bookie -- That was a great story. Keep 'em coming. -- P-Diddy Polarius -- Loved your column. Well written and informational, but I'm still not voting for Bush. -- P-Diddy 25 February 2004 Readers, and especially those who volunteered warriors -- My apologies for the sudden lack of episodes. I've been sick, but expect to be back at the keyboard soon. -- the Scribe 3 March 2004 MONGO'S MARDI GRAS MADNESS DUELMASTERS AUCTION Mongo, aka Matt McIntosh and ex-Warden of the Dark Circle, is auctioning off his entire collection of Duelmasters warriors and stables. Don't miss out on this chance to own some fantastic warriors! There are ADM warriors available in every class from Primus to Freshmen, as well as over a dozen Basic stables. Does a Slasher with +4 attack, +4 decisiveness, +3 initiative and +2 riposte sound good? How about a Lunger who received the benefit of a TC prize, has TVed three times after graduating--and still hasn't maxed out his skills!? How about a Striker in the Freshmen class who has decisiveness for a favorite learn and the MAUL for a favorite weapon!? Or perhaps you prefer playing in Basic. Then how does a stable with four Adept class warriors who have a combined record of 41-19-9 sound? Or maybe a stable with three 21-Will warriors? Or perhaps a stable with four Initiates and a Rookie who have a combined record of 23-6-1? The quality of the lots is excellent. All you need to view and bid on the lots is go to: http://members.aol.com/jvmerlino/mardigras.html If you want to be on the mailing list to receive regular updates on the auction, just send an e-mail to JVMerlino@aol.com. Merlin, aka John Merlino and also an ex- Warden of the Dark Circle, will be running this auction for me. I just moved to New Orleans and am likely currently stumbling around the French Quarter...because it's Mardi Gras! So I have named my auction in honor of this occasion. The auction will start on Saturday, March 13th, 2004, and will continue for several weeks. But you should get your bids in early if you want your best chance at owning any of these fantastic warriors and stables. Many thanks to all for your interest and your bids, Mongo 5 March 2004 Style Masters Symposium Hosted by Hammer The years have slipped by and many DM Managers have come and gone since the last Hammer's Handbook was compiled and printed. There is now a stirring within me to begin writing and editing yet another Handbook with a distribution date sometime in 2005. This Handbook will be made available via Email with a possibility of burning the info to a CD for distribution. Special arrangements will be made to provide the information via printed page to those contributors who are serving sentences behind bars. The working title of this new Handbook is "Style Masters Symposium Hosted by Hammer". Distribution of this Handbook is projected to be MAINLY for those DM Managers who contribute information/articles to Hammer by June 2004. Informative and entertaining articles should focus on insights regarding Any or All 10 Style Masters for both the Basic and ADM arenas as well as Tourney competition. Articles focusing on Weapons/Armor are also encouraged for inclusion. Whether you are a Newbie Manager without a clue or a Jaded Veteran; everyone has discovered something about this gaming experience that is both Insightful and Entertaining. Email Your Articles to HammerDM@fastermail.com or send them via Diplo to either Flower Hammerz (372) in DM 28 or Casino Hammerz (576) in DM 33. Length and Content of the Style Masters Symposium Hosted by Hammer will be Determined by the Quality and Quantity of Contributors Combined with the Literary Efforts of Hammer who is currently overseas for an indefinite period of time. Articles Contributed for this Project should be of Sufficient Length and Content to Warrant being Included to Receive the Finished Document when Hammer has completed this literary work to His satisfaction. Managers contributing articles are also requested to include a DM Bio of Themselves along with any Notable Successes and/or Failures during Their DM Career in Basic, ADM and/or Tourney Play. A listing of Active Stables would also be Helpful for Anyone Seeking to Reply to Contributors via Diplo, Email or Snailmail. May Your Blades Be Sharp And Your Wits Sharper! -- Hammer of Flower Hammerz (372) DM 28 and Casino Hammerz (576) DM 33 18 March 2004 St. Valentine's Day Massacre Update We are pleased to announce that the kLk sponsored St. Valentine's Day Massacre kill contest in DM 36 is off to a great start. We are also pleased to announce that in addition to the 10 team rollups we are also able to offer the renaming of a dark arena warrior as a prize to the manager with the most kills. The contest is only 2 turns old and is still wide open. There are currently 5 managers tied with one kill each. Anything can still happen so hurry up and get into the arena. On a personal note, no other alliances have entered the arena in force to challenge the kLk dominance. We were expecting The Firm to put up a fight for their supposed home arena. But, they were a no show. Guess they proved what they are really made of. *evil grin* Perhaps another alliance would like to step in to give us a challenge. We are throwing down the gauntlet. Perhaps the Chaos Inc. boys I keep hearing about would like to step in and challenge the kLk for arena dominance. If you don't show up, Chaos, don't feel bad. FAR better managers than you have been invited into Jhans but have chosen to pass on the offer. So if you consider yourself worthy to compete, like fierce competition, and enjoy arenas where the personals are as fierce as the fighting, come visit JHANS DM 36. We're already planning our next contest, "Capture the Flag," and have a storyline being actively worked on in the arena. Whatever you like about DM you can find it in JHANS. Bookie mgr. of Suicidal Dreams and Director Jhans Board of Tourism kLk Alliance LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS HATRED was dealt death by RILLION in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight. BIG BED viciously butchered SUPERIOR MANAGER in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle. HELENA was murdered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight. CHAOS TUESDAY was dispatched by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl. 'E' COLE I assassinated RILLION in a exciting 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight. DARK WONDER was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel. DARK FINK was savagely slain by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute Dark Arena struggle. FRANCOIS devastated STRIKER in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud competition. RAIMONDO was easily killed by BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO in a 1 minute uneven Bloodfeud melee. MAC lost to PINK BEAR in a action packed 1 minute expert's Challenge fight. DRIPS was luckily beaten by RAVAGE in a exciting 3 minute gruesome Challenge fight. DONNA overpowered ARACHNE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight. CONFESSION demolished SYPHILIS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge competition. CORINTHIAN was devastated by DEL MONTE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge battle. SUBZERO bested ANOTHER BLANKEE in a 1 minute amateur's Challenge bout. TROJAN MAN overcame FROSTY MCCLOUD in a 2 minute expert vs. novice Challenge fight. MARCIE devastated BADDA BAMM in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel. SHADOW STARR narrowly killed ERRUPTION in a 2 minute bloody Challenge brawl. MOGASH was devastated by SHAWNDA in a 1 minute brutal one-sided Challenge fight. CLUTCH SHUTTLE beat DRIVER in a 3 minute novice's Challenge bout. DEFIANCE was defeated by MR. ANDERSON in a 2 minute Challenge conflict. KATHLEEN was bested by HALO 14 in a 1 minute gory veteran's Title contest. KERRY BEAR was unbelievably bested by SKIRZA SLAPSTIK in a popular 6 minute match. UNION JACK outwaited CLURACAN in a unpopular 14 minute fray. OBLIVIOUS defeated HUGGY BEAR in a popular 6 minute match. BRICKHOUSE defeated JEALOUSY RAINS in a exciting 3 minute duel. TIKI BOB defeated BADDA BANG in a 2 minute duel. TANTRIC overpowered MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute one-sided bout. DEVASTATOR vanquished BROWN KITTY TOO in a 1 minute uneven bout. CAIN was outwaited by SCORPINE in a tiresome 17 minute beginner's bout. CHIEF BLING-BLING$ was viciously subdued by HOPE DESTRUCTOR in a 3 minute duel. LEOTSU vanquished WRETCHED WIGHT in a exciting 1 minute brutal one-sided fray. LUCA savagely defeated CRACKED DOLL in a 1 minute brutal novice's fight. CAVEMAN was overpowered by DUSTY CHERUB in a 1 minute one-sided fray. JACK RIPPER delivered the death blow upon PHOENIX in a 2 minute bloody novice's duel. BRAIN COLLECTOR demolished KILROY WUZ HERE in a 1 minute mismatched match. BATTLE REPORT MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS |FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT| |LUNGING ATTACK 22 WALL OF STEEL 24 - 11 - 0 69 | |BASHING ATTACK 11 TOTAL PARRY 33 - 18 - 0 65 | |TOTAL PARRY 10 STRIKING ATTACK 35 - 36 - 6 49 | |STRIKING ATTACK 8 LUNGING ATTACK 72 - 96 - 9 43 | |WALL OF STEEL 5 AIMED BLOW 7 - 10 - 0 41 | |SLASHING ATTACK 5 BASHING ATTACK 22 - 32 - 2 41 | |AIMED BLOW 2 PARRY-LUNGE 2 - 3 - 0 40 | |PARRY-STRIKE 1 SLASHING ATTACK 12 - 24 - 2 33 | |PARRY-LUNGE 0 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 3 - 0 25 | |PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 9 - 0 0 | Turn 452 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are: WALL OF STEEL 3 - 2 BASHING ATTACK 5 - 6 3 WALL OF STEEL LUNGING ATTACK 12 - 10 SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 3 2 LUNGING ATTACK AIMED BLOW 1 - 1 STRIKING ATTACK 3 - 5 2 STRIKING ATTACK TOTAL PARRY 5 - 5 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 0 2 TOTAL PARRY PARRY-STRIKE 0 - 1 1 AIMED BLOW PARRY-RIPOSTE 0 - 0 1 SLASHING ATTACK TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME LUNGING ATTACK HALO 14 5711 12 9 1 93 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504) WALL OF STEEL PINK BEAR 5883 16 8 1 83 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515) STRIKING ATTACK KERRY BEAR 3994 8 6 0 55 BLITZKRIEG (271) TOTAL PARRY UNION JACK 6015 9 0 0 51 BLITZKRIEG (271) SLASHING ATTACK RAVAGE 5993 7 3 0 47 THE FALLEN (524) FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above. The overall popularity leader is KERRY BEAR 3994. The most popular warrior this turn was KERRY BEAR 3994. The ten other most popular fighters were HUGGY BEAR 6002, HOPE DESTRUCTOR 6131, 'E' COLE I 6065, DRIPS 6066, JEALOUSY RAINS 5995, HATRED 5938, FROSTY MCCLOUD 6086, BADDA BANG 6013, TROJAN MAN 5710, and DRIVER 6055. The least popular fighter this week was CAIN 6073. The other ten least popular fighters were SCORPINE 6119, CLURACAN 6035, UNION JACK 6015, KILROY WUZ HERE 6139, PHOENIX 6138, CAVEMAN 4652, CRACKED DOLL 6133, BROWN KITTY TOO 6118, OBLIVIOUS 6101, and KATHLEEN 5865.