Date   : 04/15/2004    Duedate: 04/28/2004


DM-36    TURN-454

This Weeks Top Honors


BABES (416)
(36-5865) [17-10-0,100]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

KATHLEEN                       DRIPS
BABES (416)                    STDS (534)
(36-5865) [17-10-0,100]        (36-6066) [5-3-0,42]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

KERRY BEAR                     KATHLEEN
BLITZKRIEG (271)               BABES (416)
(36-3994) [10-6-0,73]          (36-5865) [17-10-0,100]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. STDS (534)                  56
2. BABES (416)                 32      BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
3. THE DREAMING (529)          28      Unchartered Team
4. ANARKYSTS (341)             19
5. THE FALLEN (524)            18      VAGRANT REGIME (539)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 3*THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)     5   3  1 62.5   1/ 5 THE FALLEN (524)          8  6 0
 2/ 4 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     46  35  6 56.8   2/ 4*VAGRANT REGIME (539)      8  7 0
 3- 5*KAMIKAZI (533)            16  13  1 55.2   3- 1*KAMIKAZI (533)            7  2 0
 4- 6*THE BREW CREW (526)       11   9  0 55.0   4/ 3 BLITZKRIEG (271)          7  7 0
 5- 7*THE MATRIX (531)           7   6  0 53.8   5/12*STDS (534)                7  8 1
 6/ 2*VAGRANT REGIME (539)       8   7  0 53.3   6/11 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     6  7 1
 7/ 8 BABES (416)              206 186  7 52.6   7/ 2 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     6  9 2
 8/ 9 BLITZKRIEG (271)         135 128 13 51.3   8- 8*THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)    5  3 1
 9-10 HELTER SKELTER (256)     493 471 29 51.1   9/ 6 ANARKYSTS (341)           5  5 0
10/12*STDS (534)                11  11  1 50.0  10/14*THE DREAMING (529)        5  9 0
11/14 THE FALLEN (524)          29  30  1 49.2  11/10 BABES (416)               4  5 1
12/11 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     29  31  4 48.3  12/13 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515)  4  9 2
13/13 ANARKYSTS (341)          306 358 33 46.1  13- 7*THE BREW CREW (526)       3  2 0
14/16 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515)  53  72  9 42.4  14-16*THE MATRIX (531)          2  0 0
15/17*THE DREAMING (529)        14  20  1 41.2  15-15*SHADOW SOLDIERS (530)     2  3 0
16-19 SECTION HATE (491)        86 138 12 38.4  16-17 HELTER SKELTER (256)      1  1 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
17-20*SHADOW SOLDIERS (530)      7  13  0 35.0  17- 9 SECTION HATE (491)        1  4 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

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Kill Contest Spyreport....
     Hello, Jhans.  It is I, Polarius, back with yet another issue of the kill
contest spy report.  Not much to report this turn.  I guess all angels aren't good
angels.  Just ask MAC who was slain by HALO 14.  I guess you can't trust Priests or
     Since there was no more killin', let's talk about some other things; I think a
fight we are all looking forward to is TROJAN MAN vs. any STD.  Time to see just how
good those TROJANs are.  (Of course this is a battle that probably happens at
YOUNGBLOOD's house every night!)
     Hmm...ever think of combining some team names?  How about LITTLE GIRLS LIKE...
STD's?  Speaking of LITTLE GIRLS LIKE, they killed off BIG BED this turn.  Guess
LITTLE GIRLS really don't like BIG BEDs.  We'll have to ask COSMO how he baits them
in.  Oh, and STD's killed off 'E' COLE I this turn.  Guess someone figured out he
wasn't really an STD.  Of course I'm sure UP-IN-YA's grandmother has 'E' COLE I as
well.  Well, that is enough one-liners for now.  I'm in and out faster than MANAGER
on a Saturday night!
     Your leaders are still the same just add BLIND HYPOCRISY to the list with one


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                                  Letter to Bookie

     Left Zorpunt in Strange Company.  Everything's cool.  If you haven't seen for
yourself, rumors of ancient cities reappearing are true.  Boss, I hate magic.  Warn
Polarius, the assassin's guild has been given a hit on him.  He must have stepped on
someone big's toes.  I couldn't get it called off this time.  Must be a MAJOR player.
Assassin's name is Fade.  Black hair, blue eyes, 6'1" tall, muscular, medium
complexion, as good as "P", possibly, no probably better.  Very mean.  Holla when I


P.S.  This damn stuff you stuck in me acting crazy.  Hard to control.  Could it be
related to what's bringing these cities back?  Did I mention how much I hate magic?

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Out of the Past #6 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
                                   Delarquan Edition


     Ka D'Argo looked at his crew of "explorers" and shrugged.  They were a motley
bunch, drawn from several teams, managers, and arenas, people he'd found passing
through Valamantis on their way from one place to another.  Mostly from the arenas
where they were fighting--most of them were still in Basic--to some holiday spot for
a week's recreation.  Most people assumed that gladiators always stayed home,
practicing relentlessly, but that was the way to dull your edge, not improve it.  He
glanced at Arenamistress Sitalva, but she shook her head slightly.  It was his show,
     He took a breath and began.  "You see the towers of Old Valamantis, raised by
blood sorcery."
     Everyone turned to look.
     Smeds of The Black Company, Mordant, sniffed dismissively.  "Second class
stonework," he declared.  The Dwarf's gesture took in needle-thin towers webbed
together with bridges like dreams.  "Not really stonework at all; that's built with
magic.  Was built with magic in the beginning."
     "Stupid," agreed Shamu (The Watchmen, Cliffhome).  The two Dwarves nodded at
each other.  "Unreliable.  Not like good honest stones that stay up whether you're
paying attention to them or not."
     Goblin (The Taken, Kaltos) frowned at the no-longer-ruined city.  "You mean
somebody's got to pay attention to that all the time, or it falls down?" he asked in
a voice like gravel grinding together.
     "Not EXACTLY," murmured Lavender Lance (Colour Guards, Illis).  Quickly, before
the two Dwarves could protest, she added, "In principle, yes, quite possibly.  But
nothing is EVER that simple.  What I've heard--I'm no mage, but there's always talk
of magic on Illis, you understand--is that a spell can be put into a THING, like,
well...like the sound is in a bell, maybe.  Or like the light is in a candle.  Under
the right circumstances, it comes out without anybody having to think about it right
THEN, and it keeps on existing as long as the circumstances last.  I suppose I'm
explaining that very BADLY, but--"
     "But we follow it well enough," Sputter (Joka Masher, Dwes Eg, Lord Protector)
finished.  "So there might be a THING that we could break and the towers would fall
down, hmm?"
     "Bringing the towers down again might be a good thing," Ka D'Argos interjected,
"but it won't solve the problem here, even if we could find the right spell-holders
to destroy.  That won't get rid of the people."
     "Zombies," Groblin growled contemptuously.
     "Not entirely," Sitalva said.  "We haven't gone into the old city, but we've
watched it closely, and there are some people who don't appear to be undead."
     "How can you tell?" Smeds demanded.  "Just because somebody's not falling apart
doesn't mean he isn't a NEW zombie."
     "There are live and potent Folstrom wizards in the old city," a new voice said.
The pleasant tenor seemed to come out of empty air but was quickly followed by a man
in a dark blue robe spangled with silver stars, his hair bound back from his youthful
face by a silver band.  He bowed slightly.  "Tensekai," he introduced himself, "known 
here as the Silver Mage.  Bringing down the towers without first destroying the
Folstrom would be futile, a waste of energy.  And not easy, either, as the spells
that uphold the towers are well guarded.  The important thing is that this situation,
unnatural and abominable as it is, gives us a chance to undo a great error out of the
past.  We can destroy the Folstrom this time, rather than merely driving them off."
     "Correct me if I'm wrong," Lavender Lance murmured, batting her eyelashes at the
mage, "but I HAVE read a little history.  I thought the Folstrom weren't destroyed
because it wasn't possible?  They were too strong for the Forces of Good to bring
them down completely."
     Tensekai nodded unhappily.  "That's true.  But we've had three millennia to
study further.  We have new arts and new allies to bring to the battle this time."
     "And what might the Folstrom have learned in three thousand years?" Ka D'Argos

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                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 493): SMEDS of THE BLACK COMPANY (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 379): TOOFLESS of GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 498): FANDRAL of AESIR (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 494): CHASM OF IGNORANCE of UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (Neon Necromancer)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 493): SOUL CATCHER of THE TAKEN (Silver Stroke, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 497): MEDUSA of BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 495): HOOSIER DADDY of FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 489): HOLY BULL of THOROUGHBREDS (DRF, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 481): DALLAS of SUPERIOR FORCES 6N (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 480): GLIMMOR of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 453): HALO 14 of BLIND HYPOCRISY (Jekyll, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 444): HARI CANE of JINDA-BAN (Zin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 193): TAMMY FAYE of WITLESS WONDERS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 431): YANKEE DAN of CLOWNING AROUND (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 379): APPLE of FRUITS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 180): MERGEN of THE BLACK COMPANY (Woelfe, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 168): MACAULIFFE of THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 329): AKLAR of MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 145): 2 PHAT of VERMIN (Sultan, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 372): DOONE of FLAGG 16 from RODEKI (Flagg, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 493): HOMICIDAL MANIACS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 379): GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 498): THE NUKES (Fusion, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 494): PURPLE AND GOLD (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 493): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 497): BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 495): FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 489): THOROUGHBREDS (DRF, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 481): CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 480): COSMIC FREAK OUT (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 453): KAMIKAZI (?, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 444): JINDA-BAN (Zin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 193): CHEAP SHOTS (?, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 431): none
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 379): DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 180): PLAGUES (Abarsis, the Slaughter Priest, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 168): COLOUR GUARDS (Captain Crayola, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 329): MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 145): X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 372): TACO GODS, etc. (The Sentinel, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 498): FANDRAL of AESIR (Buri, mgr.)
              (turn 497): WHIP SCORPION of SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 494): CHASM OF IGNORANCE of UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (Neon Necromancer)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 492): SUX0R of MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 495): HOOSIER DADDY of FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh)
                           JERICO of MORGAN'S BOYS (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 488): BLING BLING of TERRAPIN STATION (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 481): DALLAS of SUPERIOR FORCES 6N (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 480): GLIMMOR of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
               (turn 479): KITTY CHOWDER of CARNAGE CANARIES (C. Canary, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 444): HARI CANE of JINDA-BAN (Zin, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 329): DAWNRACER of MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Well...I wrote a nice little semi-arrogant column last turn but somehow either
the GC misfiled it or the kkk lackeys got their hands on it and used it as toilet
paper.  At any rate, I will attempt a column for turn two of my reign and see if it
gets published for all the peasants, warriors, managers, fans, and others to see.
Last turn I challenged Papa's bagger and/or pud Kathlenn but alas that never saw the
light of day.  Instead I was matched up with the helpless and utterly mismatched Mac
in his feeble attempt to usurp my throne.  Scanning the DEAD column and we all know
how that turned out.  In Polarius' defense...Mac was hopelessly outclassed and of
course I felt it was my duty and privilege to show him that very fact.  Mounted next
to my throne is the decaying, decapitated head of one of the kkk's "champions".  It
is there for all to see and cower in fear and disgust at.  Jekyll was very
disappointed in the teams' lack of kills since the contest began and I wanted to make
the supreme one happy so I offered him the sacrifice of the Mac.
     But alas, after I offer him this sacrifice he tells me that I must abdicate my
throne for some sort of tournament.  Something about me being at my max FE for a
class of some sort.  He assured me that my hiatus will only be for one cycle and to
let the rest of the peasants have a brief taste of greatness before I return to claim
that which is rightfully mine.  One small snag...I do foresee Polarius attempting a
Bloodfeud after my hiatus.  By all means...by all means...I have tasted and bathed in
kkk blood and desire more.  I shall return the cycle after next to further quench my
thirst.  Bring the noise, boys...and as Jekyll is fond of saying...be prepared to
Reap the Whirlwind!
     BY DIVINE RIGHT....  HAIL AND KILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
          Halo 14

                                      SPY REPORT

     Hail JHANS!  Warriors of the arena, prepare to be praised and blamed for your 
deeds.  It seems the training can make the difference, as KAMIKAZI is pushed out of 
top team by THE FALLEN, who came from 5th with a 4-0-0 this turn.  Now keep the 
taverns open late tonight, for there are sorrows to drown for SECTION HATE, whose 
0-0-0 this turn dropped them by 8 into 17th.  STDS stable has parlayed this turn's 
3-2-0 into a 7 space move up the rankings.  This brings them up to 5th place.  Good 
work, guys!  The THE FALLEN guild has had a 4-0-0 turn and deserves to be watched in 
the future.  You never know where this kind of thing can lead.  CRACKED DOLL has lost 
to CLAP, falling 13 points, while helping make VAGRANT REGIME a 1-4-0 turn.  Due to 
his absence and inability to defend the throne, HALO 14 has lost the title of 
Duelmaster.  And not without some honor, KATHLEEN now claims the title and throne of 
Duelmaster of JHANS.  Tell me, is nothing sacred?  I have heard from unimpeachable 
sources that Lucas Lounge uses trolls in their stew.  Talk about gristle!   
     He who challenges well, fights well.  He who avoids without cause, shall lose 
for good reasons.  My mama told me that one.  I also notice that the BLIND HYPOCRISY 
stable was the most avoided team this turn.  Come on JHANS, what are you afraid of?  
And avoiding BLIND HYPOCRISY more than any other team we find SUICIDAL DREAMS.  
JHANS, are we going to accept, or respect this sort of thing?  The most challenged 
warrior this turn was BLIND HYPOCRISY's warrior ARACHNE.  More fighters challenged 
him than challenged the Duelmaster!  Tsk, tsk, tsk.  SKIRZA SLAPSTIK, does your 
manager know you're challenging down 17 points to fight SLAYIN STAYNER from 
ANARKYSTS?  I thought challenges were for warriors, not cowards looking for easy 
wins.  SKIRZA SLAPSTIK won victory over SLAYIN STAYNER, is nothing sacred?  I don't 
know about you, but HUGGY BEAR challenging down 32 points to LITTLE GIRLS LIKE...'s 
POCOHONTAS, is not really worthy of SUICIDAL DREAMS.  It pains me to see warriors 
take advantage of the system like this.  HUGGY BEAR bested POCOHONTAS, as if it 
surprises anyone.  Well now, what do you expect when someone like DEVASTATOR from THE 
FALLEN challenges down 25 points to fight WASTEM WUORNOS of ANARKYSTS?  We're not 
surprised to hear that DEVASTATOR beat WASTEM WUORNOS, but I bet it would be 
interesting to hear why THE FALLEN made such a challenge.  In a brave attempt, 
CHLAMYDIA from STDS challenged up 21 points to fight ARACHNE from the BLIND HYPOCRISY 
stable.  CHLAMYDIA perhaps got hers just desserts, seeing as she beat ARACHNE and 
ended up with 30 recognition points.   
     We only live a short time in this world, so why not take a sharp blade, and 
shave it close?  The manager of VAGRANT REGIME will not be pleased to learn that HOPE 
DESTRUCTOR, a 2-0-0 fighter, has been killed at the hands of BABES' MARCIE.  A brave 
warrior does not carry a red shield, he has nothing to cover or hide when the fight 
is over.  Consider well.   
     I like this place, JHANS, the taverns have old wine, and young serving girls.  
Who could ask for more?  Well, I'm burning daylight here in JHANS and I've a long 
road ahead of me.  Happy Trails.  Until you see my quill in JHANS again, farewell-- 
Alarond the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KATHLEEN 5865                17  10  0   100       BABES (416)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-POSTMASTER P 5182            20  11  0   133       HELTER SKELTER (256)
-HALO 14 5711                 13   9  2   109       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PINK BEAR 5883               17   9  1    84       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 KERRY BEAR 3994              10   6  0    73       BLITZKRIEG (271)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-UNION JACK 6015              10   0  0    60       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 SKIRZA SLAPSTIK 5996          9   3  0    59       THE FALLEN (524)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DONNA 5966                    6   6  0    53       BABES (416)
 MARCIE 6076                   4   3  1    52       BABES (416)
-SUBZERO 6120                  4   0  0    50       KAMIKAZI (533)
-OBLIVIOUS 6101                5   0  0    49       KAMIKAZI (533)
 DRIPS 6066                    5   3  0    42       STDS (534)
 SLAYIN STAYNER 5891           5   1  0    40       ANARKYSTS (341)
 TROJAN MAN 5710               8   5  2    39       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 KILL'EM KREPP 5892            6   0  0    38       ANARKYSTS (341)
 RAVAGE 5993                   8   4  0    37       THE FALLEN (524)
 HUGGY BEAR 6002               8   4  0    36       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
-BRICKHOUSE 5960               8   1  0    35       SECTION HATE (491)
 CLURACAN 6035                 6   1  0    35       THE DREAMING (529)
-KANE 6020                     4   0  0    34       THE BREW CREW (526)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DEVASTATOR 6079               4   4  0    30       THE FALLEN (524)
 ARACHNE 5712                  3   3  0    30       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
-FRANCOIS 6038                 3   1  0    30       SHADOW SOLDIERS (530)
 CHLAMYDIA 6148                2   0  0    30       STDS (534)
 TIKI BOB 6004                 8   5  0    29       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 PIGFEED PICKTAN 6124          4   0  0    29       ANARKYSTS (341)
-LUCA 4653                     2   0  0    29       THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)
-SCORPINE 6119                 3   1  0    28       KAMIKAZI (533)
 SYPHILIS 6129                 2   2  0    28       STDS (534)
 SLASHIN' SPECK 5854           5  11  1    27       ANARKYSTS (341)
 SHAWNDA 6032                  4   3  0    27       THE DREAMING (529)
-LUCIFERI 6018                 3   1  0    27       THE BREW CREW (526)
 BRAIN COLLECTOR 6134          3   0  0    26       VAGRANT REGIME (539)
-MR. ANDERSON 6043             4   2  0    25       THE MATRIX (531)
 BADDA BAMM 6075               4   4  0    25       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
-DEL MONTE 6115                2   1  0    25       SHADOW SOLDIERS (530)
 TANTRIC 6036                  5   5  1    24       BLITZKRIEG (271)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SHADOW STARR 5999             5   7  1    23       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 CONFESSION 6003               5   2  0    22       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 JEALOUSY RAINS 5995           4   8  1    21       THE FALLEN (524)
-LEOTSU 4655                   2   0  0    21       THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)
 WRETCHED WIGHT 6132           1   2  0    20       VAGRANT REGIME (539)
 BROWN KITTY TOO 6118          2   2  1    18       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO 6085        4   3  2    17       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
-CLUTCH SHUTTLE 6060           3   1  0    17       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 CLAP 6151                     1   0  0    17       STDS (534)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FROSTY MCCLOUD 6086           3   4  0    14       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
-BADDA BANG 6013               2   8  0    14       THE FALLEN (524)
-DRIVER 6055                   3   3  1    13       KAMIKAZI (533)
 CORINTHIAN 6034               2   5  1    12       THE DREAMING (529)
-DEATH STRYKE 6019             1   3  0    12       THE BREW CREW (526)
-FRANKENSLOSH 5901             3   1  0    11       HELTER SKELTER (256)
-THE ONE 6046                  2   0  0    11       THE MATRIX (531)
-REAPER 6150                   1   0  0    10       KAMIKAZI (533)
-CHIEF BLING-BLING$ 6091       1   3  0    10       THE DREAMING (529)
-STRIKER 6093                  2   2  1     9       SECTION HATE (491)
-MOGASH 6037                   2   2  0     8       SHADOW SOLDIERS (530)
 CRACKED DOLL 6133             1   2  0     8       VAGRANT REGIME (539)
-DEFIANCE 6122                 1   2  0     8       SECTION HATE (491)
-AGENT SMITH 6042              1   1  0     8       THE MATRIX (531)
-PSYCHO 6017                   1   3  0     6       THE BREW CREW (526)
-JACK RIPPER 4651              1   1  1     5       THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)
-NIGHTWING 6092                1   1  0     4       THE BREW CREW (526)
 WASTEM WUORNOS 6123           0   4  0     4       ANARKYSTS (341)
 ANOTHER BLANKEE 6117          0   4  0     4       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 POCOHONTAS 6137               0   2  0     2       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 TRICH 6147                    0   2  0     2       STDS (534)
-CAVEMAN 4652                  0   2  0     2       THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)
 FUNKY COLD MEDINA 6154        0   1  0     1       BLITZKRIEG (271)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
MAC 3965               8 10 2 BLITZKRIEG 271        HALO 14 5711          453         
CAIN 6073              1  5 0 THE DREAMING 529      RILLION 21            454 NONE    
SILVER KITTY 6116      0  1 0 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE 515 ENVIOUS KING 6109     451         
ERRUPTION 6094         0  4 0 SECTION HATE 491      SHADOW STARR 5999     452         
MAREK 6041             0  3 0 SHADOW SOLDIERS 530   BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BO 6085 451         
RAIMONDO 6114          0  3 0 SHADOW SOLDIERS 530   BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BO 6085 452         
PHOENIX 6138           0  1 0 SHADOW SOLDIERS 530   JACK RIPPER 4651      452         
HOPE DESTRUCTOR 6131   2  1 0 VAGRANT REGIME 539    MARCIE 6076           454         
DUSTY CHERUB 6135      1  2 0 VAGRANT REGIME 539    BROWN KITTY TOO 6118  454         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Bookie -- Nope.  Superior Horde is supposed to be a cross between my "Superior
Forces" and Mr. Mojo's "Eastern Horde".  Last I checked Sandman ran those teams, but
he sold a bunch of them and they have new ownership now.  I would have loved to come
in and once again humiliate a bunch of Delarqs by winning a kill contest, but with
TOGS/Zalcon/Battle Royale 3 going on at the same time, I need to pass.  I will be
back to re-take my Kill Crown in a future edition though. -- Manager, still reigning
killathon champ until the contest ends.

Who turned Superior Manager into such a wimp? -- Manager

Halo 14 -- Ouch that kinda hurt.  Mac was much better than his record. -- Polarius

Azrael -- Sorry for the challenge.  I misunderstood our challenge policies.  I
thought an adept could challenge into the ch. adepts. Sorry. -- Polarius

Sir Chester -- Hey, write me back! -- Polarius

Drips -- WTF?  I saw your overview.  How did you keep doing that? -- Tiki

MAIL-IN, MAIL-IN, MAIL-IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -- Polarius (sending 59)

Ed. -- Oh yea.  The Dreaming is managed by P-diddi and the Brew-Crew is managed by

     Thanks. -- The Saint, keeper of lists

Turtle -- 4-1 and still top team.  Good job.  I'll buy you a light beer at the Loucas
Lounge. -- Azrael

KLK -- I'm assuming the last five personals were Brew.  Dude, sign your name. --
Azrael, Lord of the Fallen

All -- Who the hell are the Firm people you guys keep yapping about?  If they're too
scared to come and defend "their" home arena, then they don't need to come because
they have two testicles and you can print that.  Begging someone, anyone, to put up a
fight and BRING IT! -- Azrael

Drips -- I'm vaccinated, you sick freak.  SYPHILLIS, damn. -- Ravage

Kerry Bear -- You give good fight.  Me Skirza think you best warrior in arena.  Only
one ever beat Skirza. -- Skirza Slapstick

Cracked Doll -- What the hell was that?  Anyway, good fight. -- Jealousy Rains

Turtle -- Damn, Subzero ain't too shabby is he? -- Azrael

Badda Bamm -- Oww, hey cuz, lighten up.  Jeez. -- Badda Bang

Wastem Wuomos -- Devastatem your nose. -- Devastator

Ed. -- Kamikaze's manager is Turtle.  Maybe one day he'll write a personal.  Or learn
to write. -- Azrael

     Got it. -- The Saint

Polarius -- You notice CHAOS just added a new member named "Cheeto" and we just added
Sir Chester?  Chester...Cheeto, hmmm.  I think it's destined that we feud with Chaos,
inc.  Considering both alliance new members it will be called "The War of the Cheesy
Puff Corn Snacks."  On second thought, let's hope we get a better name.... (grin) --

     No, that's a WONDERFUL name! -- Ed.

Polarius -- Deepest condolences about Mac. -- Suicidal Dreams guild

Drips -- Hey, you begged for the loss so we got you TWO.  Just tryin' to accommodate
ya.  (grin)  As it goes about killing you...I think I'd miss your mouth.  You are
definitely one of the livelier people in the arena.  You remind me a bit of a guy
named Mordraith (that's a HUGE compliment btw).  Kill ya...oops, I mean SEE ya later.
Peace! -- Bookie

Saint -- I can fill ya in on the missing member of the manager list.
The Brew Crew -- Brew-ha
The Dreaming -- P-Diddi
Kamikazi -- Turtle
Hope that helps. -- Bookie, Jhans socialite

     Yep, thanks! -- The Saint, keeper of lists

Drips -- BTW, you like you cameo in the story last turn?  If it's ok I would like to
give you a bigger part in upcoming episodes.  (I was thinking of using the story to
show/explain how Sir Chester got in the KLK.)  Just let me know. -- Bookie

Iver/Nunzio -- Hey sexorcist!  (grin)  Are you planning on staying for a while? 
Cosmo is 'bout to come back full-force after the mail-in and I'm tryin' to get
Mordraith back too.  It'll be like old times and you know the old DOOMcorps boys are
more fun than the Froths any day.  (evil grin)  If we can get Ultraist back it'll be
the whole group (minus LeMa$e and I'd even love to see him come back).  Imagine all
the hell we could raise at a Face.  (evil grin)  Regardless, welcome back!  Good to
see you! -- Bookie

All -- Good luck at the mail-in! -- Bookie

Woelfe and Filthy Phil -- Don't tell me BOTH of you are leaving!!  I just got a kill
(two on Woelfe) and now:  inactive.  Hopefully it's a tourney thing.  I'm stick of
people popping in for one or two turns then breaking camp.  It this arena that scary?
-- Bookie

Polarius -- It's starting to look like we're gonna have to go after "The Big Boys" if
we want to get anyone to stay in Jhans.  I wonder what Doc and Neon are up to.  Maybe
a few well-placed comments about Neon and sheep would get his attention.  (evil grin)
Since being diplomatic isn't working maybe being loud will.  (shrug)  Maybe it's time
to annoy CHAOS, Inc. some more since they 'noticed' us. (laugh)  Only thing I've
noticed is that they still are a no-show. -- Bookie

Iver -- Think you could get some more Froths in here? -- Bookie

Jekyll -- Not a talker, are ya?  You'll name a DA warrior after me but not speak to
me?  Hmmph.  Have it your way. -- Bookie

Sir Chester -- As of this ad I've yet to hear a reply from you.  Did you get the
correspondence Polarius and I sent you?  If not perhaps we should double-check the
address you gave. -- Bookie
P.S.  My ADVICE on Drips was to train his ST one more time.  Then he'll be set!

Sir Chester -- Here's some trivia about The Firm you probably didn't know:  Most of
The Firm got into playing DM through one of their managers, Charlie Thomas (I don't
know his managerial name).  Charlie got into playing DM through Cosmo Frothingslosh.
Cosmo got into playing DM through ME.  So in a weird "six degrees of Kevin Bacon" way
The Firm is sorta my fault.  (shrug)  It's kind of embarrassing.  I can't believe
they haven't even attempted to defend their "home."  Figures.  They were always bit-
players compared to the DRC and DOOMcorps anyway. -- Bookie

Toad -- You take me, this game and yourself way too seriously.  Relax.  Enjoy the
game.  Stop being so anal.  (That's a psych reference.)  Just talk a little, man.
It's all I wanted. -- Bookie
P.S.  You're still still sux! (grin)

Bang -- Well, at least I wasn't a scum right? (grin) -- BAMM

Brew-ha -- Wazzup right back at ya. -- Bookie

Turtle -- As well as Kamikazi's playing I'm glad/proud to be your only loss last
turn.  Now stop winning so I can get top team. -- Bookie

18 March 2004
St. Valentine's Day Massacre Update

     We are pleased to announce that the kLk sponsored St. Valentine's Day Massacre
kill contest in DM 36 is off to a great start.  We are also pleased to announce that
in addition to the 10 team rollups we are also able to offer the renaming of a dark
arena warrior as a prize to the manager with the most kills.  The contest is only 2
turns old and is still wide open.  There are currently 5 managers tied with one kill
each.  Anything can still happen so hurry up and get into the arena.
     On a personal note, no other alliances have entered the arena in force to
challenge the kLk dominance.  We were expecting The Firm to put up a fight for their
supposed home arena.  But, they were a no show.  Guess they proved what they are
really made of.  *evil grin*
     Perhaps another alliance would like to step in to give us a challenge.  We are
throwing down the gauntlet.  Perhaps the Chaos Inc. boys I keep hearing about would
like to step in and challenge the kLk for arena dominance.  If you don't show up,
Chaos, don't feel bad.  FAR better managers than you have been invited into Jhans but
have chosen to pass on the offer.
     So if you consider yourself worthy to compete, like fierce competition, and
enjoy arenas where the personals are as fierce as the fighting, come visit JHANS DM
36.  We're already planning our next contest, "Capture the Flag," and have a
storyline being actively worked on in the arena.  Whatever you like about DM you can
find it in JHANS.

mgr. of Suicidal Dreams
and Director Jhans Board of Tourism
kLk Alliance

27 March 2004
     This notice is to inform the DM world that CHAOS INC. has added CHEETO to its
ranks.  He joins APEX, FLAGG, MATRIX, ASSAMITE, and RUDE BUDDHA as the 6th member.
May your chaotic wings spread disaster and CHAOS for all your days!  Welcome CHEETO!!

27 March 2004
     Has anyone seen it in print that the "Goat" is leaving the "Cartel"?  There were
some diplos to the effect of a special branch of the Cartel being formed, like secret
societies, governmental agencies and alliances certain agendas are developed.  To
obtain the desired effect of any agenda only key personnel can be used.  The "Goat"
is "Cartel" so until you see it with me announcing that I am not Cartel, remember,
"The Agenda of the Core is for you to fight for."  I hope this stops the confusion.
-- Goat

8 April 2004
CLICK (KLK) -- Remember, you asked for it.  Chaos is coming....

14 April 2004
CHAOS Inc. proudly announces our newest member, Silver Stroke.  He becomes the
seventh brother of Chaos.  We shall indeed be better for his joining.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CAIN was viciously butchered by RILLION in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
SKIRZA SLAPSTIK narrowly defeated SLAYIN STAYNER in a 4 minute Challenge melee.
HUGGY BEAR demolished POCOHONTAS in a crowd pleasing 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
CLURACAN unbelievably bested SLASHIN' SPECK in a popular 5 minute Challenge fight.
HOPE DESTRUCTOR was butchered by MARCIE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge brawl.
DEVASTATOR defeated WASTEM WUORNOS in a 1 minute Challenge struggle.
CONFESSION overpowered TRICH in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO was defeated by PIGFEED PICKTAN in a 1 minute Challenge melee.
CHLAMYDIA vanquished ARACHNE in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
BROWN KITTY TOO slaughtered DUSTY CHERUB in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
SYPHILIS viciously subdued TIKI BOB in a 4 minute Challenge fight.
ANOTHER BLANKEE was defeated by FROSTY MCCLOUD in a 1 minute Challenge match.
PINK BEAR was savagely defeated by KATHLEEN in a 4 minute master's Title competition.
KERRY BEAR demolished DRIPS in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
TROJAN MAN overcame TANTRIC in a 2 minute conflict.
WRETCHED WIGHT was overpowered by KILL'EM KREPP in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
RAVAGE unbelievably bested BADDA BAMM in a action packed 1 minute brutal duel.
JEALOUSY RAINS bested CORINTHIAN in a 1 minute brawl.
SHAWNDA devastated SHADOW STARR in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
CRACKED DOLL was subdued by CLAP in a exciting 4 minute gory novice's bout.
BRAIN COLLECTOR handily defeated FUNKY COLD MEDINA in a 1 minute competition.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  14         WALL OF STEEL     25 -  11 -  0      69  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  7         TOTAL PARRY       36 -  21 -  0      63  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   5         STRIKING ATTACK   41 -  40 -  6      51  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         BASHING ATTACK    30 -  30 -  2      50  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    3         LUNGING ATTACK    77 - 102 - 11      43  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         AIMED BLOW         6 -  13 -  0      32  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         SLASHING ATTACK   12 -  28 -  2      30  |
|AIMED BLOW                       2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -   6 -  0      25  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  11 -  0      15  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   2 -  0       0  |

Turn 454 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      2 -  1     STRIKING ATTACK    3 -  4         3  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK     9 -  5     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  2         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  3         2  TOTAL PARRY    
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1     AIMED BLOW         0 -  2         1  AIMED BLOW     
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  1         1  BASHING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    KATHLEEN 5865              17  10  0  100 BABES (416)
STRIKING ATTACK  KERRY BEAR 3994            10   6  0   73 BLITZKRIEG (271)
LUNGING ATTACK   MARCIE 6076                 4   3  1   52 BABES (416)
SLASHING ATTACK  RAVAGE 5993                 8   4  0   37 THE FALLEN (524)
BASHING ATTACK   HUGGY BEAR 6002             8   4  0   36 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
TOTAL PARRY      CLURACAN 6035               6   1  0   35 THE DREAMING (529)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is KERRY BEAR 3994.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was KATHLEEN 5865.  The ten other most popular fighters were SLASHIN' SPECK 5854, 
STAYNER 5891, TROJAN MAN 5710, RAVAGE 5993, and HUGGY BEAR 6002.

The least popular fighter this week was FUNKY COLD MEDINA 6154.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were SHADOW STARR 5999, WRETCHED WIGHT 6132, ANOTHER BLANKEE 6117,