DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER

Date   : 04/29/2004    Duedate: 05/12/2004

JHANS ARENA

DM-36    TURN-455

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

HALO 14
BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
(36-5711) [14-9-2,111]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

HALO 14                        OBLIVIOUS
BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)          KAMIKAZI (533)
(36-5711) [14-9-2,111]         (36-6101) [6-0-0,54]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

KERRY BEAR                     MARCIE
BLITZKRIEG (271)               BABES (416)
(36-3994) [10-7-0,70]          (36-6076) [4-4-1,55]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

KAMIKAZI (533)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)       38
2. THE FALLEN (524)            33      BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
3. ANOTHER FIASCO (541)        29      Unchartered Team
4. BLITZKRIEG (271)            28
5. WOLF PACK (423)             28      FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)     5   3  1 62.5   1/ 3*KAMIKAZI (533)            8  2 0
 2/ 0*FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)      3   2  0 60.0   2/ 1 THE FALLEN (524)          8  6 0
 3/ 3*KAMIKAZI (533)            20  14  1 58.8   3/ 7 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     7  7 0
 4/ 2 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     49  37  6 57.0   4/ 9 ANARKYSTS (341)           7  8 0
 5/ 0 5440 OR FIGHT! (336)     216 184 34 54.0   5/ 5*STDS (534)                7  8 0
 6- 5*THE MATRIX (531)           7   6  0 53.8   6/ 6 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     6  7 1
 7- 6*VAGRANT REGIME (539)       8   7  0 53.3   7/ 4 BLITZKRIEG (271)          6  8 0
 8/ 0 WOLF PACK (423)          149 133  9 52.8   8/10*THE DREAMING (529)        6  8 0
 9/ 7 BABES (416)              207 187  7 52.5   9- 2*VAGRANT REGIME (539)      5  5 0
10/ 8 BLITZKRIEG (271)         137 131 13 51.1  10/12 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515)  5  9 2
11/12 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     32  32  4 50.0  11/13*THE BREW CREW (526)       4  6 0
12/11 THE FALLEN (524)          32  32  1 50.0  12/ 0*FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)     3  2 0
13/ 4*THE BREW CREW (526)       12  13  0 48.0  13/11 BABES (416)               3  4 1
14/13 ANARKYSTS (341)          308 361 33 46.0  14- 8*THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)    2  2 0
15/10*STDS (534)                12  15  1 44.4  15/ 0 5440 OR FIGHT! (336)      2  3 0
16/14 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515)  56  74 10 43.1  16/ 0 WOLF PACK (423)           2  3 0
17/15*THE DREAMING (529)        16  23  1 41.0  17/ 0*ANOTHER FIASCO (541)      2  3 0
18/ 0*ANOTHER FIASCO (541)       2   3  0 40.0  18-14*THE MATRIX (531)          1  0 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/ 0*MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)     1   4  0 20.0  19/ 0*MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)    1  4 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 494): SMEDS of THE BLACK COMPANY (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 379): TOOFLESS of GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 498): FANDRAL of AESIR (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 495): HUSBAND of DIFFERENT HATS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 494): FRIED TWINKIE of MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 497): MEDUSA of BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 495): HOOSIER DADDY of FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 490): VAPID VANNA of SPRINGBORN (Still, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 481): DALLAS of SUPERIOR FORCES 6N (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 480): GLIMMOR of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 454): KATHLEEN of BABES (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 445): NUTCRACKER of ALL FINESSE (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 193): TAMMY FAYE of WITLESS WONDERS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 431): YANKEE DAN of CLOWNING AROUND (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 380): APPLE of FRUITS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 180): MERGEN of THE BLACK COMPANY (Woelfe, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 168): MACAULIFFE of THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 330): AKLAR of MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 145): 2 PHAT of VERMIN (Sultan, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 373): MAHI MAHI of BIG MEAN FISH from TALCAMA (Big Wave Dave)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 494): KING'S TEN (?, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 379): GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 498): THE NUKES (Fusion, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 495): CLASSIC BLUES (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 494): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 497): BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 495): FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 490): THOROUGHBREDS (DRF, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 481): CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 480): COSMIC FREAK OUT (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 454): THE FALLEN (Azrael, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 445): JINDA-BAN (Zin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 193): CHEAP SHOTS (?, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 431): none
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 380): FRUITS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 180): PLAGUES (Abarsis, the Slaughter Priest, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 168): COLOUR GUARDS (Captain Crayola, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 330): MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 145): X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 373): BLACK PRIMER (

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 498): FANDRAL of AESIR (Buri, mgr.)
              (turn 497): WHIP SCORPION of SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 494): CHASM OF IGNORANCE of UTOPIA RELIGIOSO (Neon Necromancer)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 495): HOOSIER DADDY of FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh)
                           JERICO of MORGAN'S BOYS (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 481): DALLAS of SUPERIOR FORCES 6N (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 480): GLIMMOR of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
               (turn 479): KITTY CHOWDER of CARNAGE CANARIES (C. Canary, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 445): NUTCRACKER of ALL FINESSE (Mannequin, mgr.)
                  (turn 444): HARI CANE of JINDA-BAN (Zin, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 330): AKLAR of MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)
                   (turn 329): DAWNRACER of MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     I can't believe the violence in JHANS!  I still haven't told Mom I'm writing 
Spyreports.  She'd have a cow!  Well, here we go...  Too bad, THE FALLEN, but 
KAMIKAZI was just too good to be stopped.  Uncool, VAGRANT REGIME.  I mean 0-0-0 is 
bad.  Will they will be allowed to fight?  I say use 'em for training practice!  The 
guys at ANARKYSTS like really pulled together to get a 2-3-0 this turn, moving up by 
5.  Cut this out and put it in your scrapbooks, SUICIDAL DREAMS!  'Cause they got 
3-1-0 and moved up to 3rd!  MVP award for TANTRIC?  BLITZKRIEG's proud of him after 
beating SUBZERO and getting 25 points.  Talk about yer big time losers!  SUBZERO got 
smashed by TANTRIC, and lost 23 points!  What a putz!  KATHLEEN fights so hard to be 
Duelmaster, then quits fighting and loses the title.  No one said she was a genius... 
And I was just getting used to the ex-Duelmaster's habit of...(!)  Oh well, welcome 
HALO 14.  Aren't BLIND HYPOCRISY proud.  (Oh, my.) I hear the top team insists all 
their warriors get nine hours sleep.  They want photogenic fighters for PR photos.   
     Look, you guys stick to fighting, all right?  ANARKYSTS was the most avoided 
team.  Is a 308-361-33 record really that scary?  Hhmph!  What kind of warriors are 
SUICIDAL DREAMS?  ANARKYSTS, an easy team to beat if I ever saw one, can't get them 
to accept an invitation!  Can LITTLE GIRLS LIKE...'s ANOTHER BLANKEE be more popular 
than me?  She was challenged the most, but is that really the same?  See if I ever 
talk to SHAWNDA again!  WASTEM WUORNOS was so low when She challenged she.  Hhmph!  I 
was sorry to see such an unfair "fight" in JHANS.  SHAWNDA got 4 points after beating 
WASTEM WUORNOS, 23 points below her.  Some fights are really unfair.  How do you 
think FUNKY COLD MEDINA feels about being challenged by PIGFEED PICKTAN, 28 points 
above him?  Is this how ANARKYSTS advances, by having their members (PIGFEED PICKTAN) 
fight people that are really below them (FUNKY COLD MEDINA)?  For sure, I was holding 
my breath when I found out SKIRZA SLAPSTIK challenged PINK BEAR.  After all, haven't 
THE FALLEN and LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... had a long standing duel in JHANS?  It wasn't a 
spectacular fight, or anything, but PINK BEAR wants me to write about it since she 
was overcame by SKIRZA SLAPSTIK.  Satisfied?   
     Challenges, revenges, Bloodfeuds.  All JHANS ever talks about is fighting!  Me, 
I'm more laid back.  I hear 5440 OR FIGHT! sent BUCKET HEAD to the Dark Arena.  What, 
is that like not well-lit, or what?  Hey you guys, don't you think your families 
would like to hear from you?  Write!  (Or have someone write for you.)  
     I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid.  Who would've guessed I'd be 
a famous Spyreporter?  I gotta leave.  JHANS is like such a dump, and you guys smell 
too much!  Remember you guys, ease up sometimes!  Chill out!  Later, Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HALO 14 5711                 14   9  2   111       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-KATHLEEN 5865                17  10  0   100       BABES (416)
 M. THRASHER 5312             15   6  1    99       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SKIRZA SLAPSTIK 5996         10   3  0    81       THE FALLEN (524)
 CANIS LUPUS 5716             10   7  0    77       WOLF PACK (423)
 GHETTO KING 5180             11  14  1    75       WOLF PACK (423)
 KERRY BEAR 3994              10   7  0    70       BLITZKRIEG (271)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PINK BEAR 5883               17  10  1    69       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 UNION JACK 6015              11   0  0    64       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 DONNA 5966                    7   6  0    61       BABES (416)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MARCIE 6076                   4   4  1    55       BABES (416)
 OBLIVIOUS 6101                6   0  0    54       KAMIKAZI (533)
 SLAYIN STAYNER 5891           6   1  0    51       ANARKYSTS (341)
 HUGGY BEAR 6002               9   4  0    50       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 TROJAN MAN 5710               9   5  2    49       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 TANTRIC 6036                  6   5  1    49       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 KILL'EM KREPP 5892            6   1  0    39       ANARKYSTS (341)
 ARACHNE 5712                  4   3  0    38       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 LUCIFERI 6018                 4   1  0    38       THE BREW CREW (526)
 SYPHILIS 6129                 3   2  0    37       STDS (534)
 DRIPS 6066                    5   4  0    35       STDS (534)
 DEVASTATOR 6079               5   4  0    35       THE FALLEN (524)
 BADDA BAMM 6075               5   4  0    34       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SHADOW STARR 5999             6   7  1    33       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 PIGFEED PICKTAN 6124          5   0  0    32       ANARKYSTS (341)
 SHAWNDA 6032                  5   3  0    31       THE DREAMING (529)
 TIKI BOB 6004                 8   6  0    30       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 SCORPINE 6119                 4   1  0    30       KAMIKAZI (533)
 RAVAGE 5993                   8   5  0    29       THE FALLEN (524)
-LUCA 4653                     2   0  0    29       THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)
 SLASHIN' SPECK 5854           5  12  1    28       ANARKYSTS (341)
 SUBZERO 6120                  4   1  0    27       KAMIKAZI (533)
 KANE 6020                     4   1  0    27       THE BREW CREW (526)
 THE DARK 5715                 4   0  0    27       WOLF PACK (423)
 BADDA BANG 6013               3   8  0    27       THE FALLEN (524)
-BRAIN COLLECTOR 6134          3   0  0    26       VAGRANT REGIME (539)
-MR. ANDERSON 6043             4   2  0    25       THE MATRIX (531)
 BROWN KITTY TOO 6118          3   2  1    25       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CLURACAN 6035                 6   2  0    23       THE DREAMING (529)
 CHLAMYDIA 6148                2   1  0    23       STDS (534)
 BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO 6085        4   4  2    22       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 JEALOUSY RAINS 5995           4   9  1    22       THE FALLEN (524)
 DRIVER 6055                   4   3  1    22       KAMIKAZI (533)
-LEOTSU 4655                   2   0  0    21       THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)
-WRETCHED WIGHT 6132           1   2  0    20       VAGRANT REGIME (539)
 CONFESSION 6003               5   3  0    18       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 CHIEF BLING-BLING$ 6091       1   4  0    14       THE DREAMING (529)
 POCOHONTAS 6137               1   2  0    13       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 REAPER 6150                   2   0  0    12       KAMIKAZI (533)
 DADDY 6153                    1   0  1    12       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
-THE ONE 6046                  2   0  0    11       THE MATRIX (531)
 HEPCAT 6157                   1   0  0    11       ANOTHER FIASCO (541)
 LUCKY STRIKE 6155             1   0  0    11       ANOTHER FIASCO (541)
 BLACKJACK 6163                1   0  0    10       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 THE LOVE BELOW 6187           1   0  0    10       THE DREAMING (529)
 CLAP 6151                     1   1  0     9       STDS (534)
-CRACKED DOLL 6133             1   2  0     8       VAGRANT REGIME (539)
-AGENT SMITH 6042              1   1  0     8       THE MATRIX (531)
 DEATH STRYKE 6019             1   4  0     7       THE BREW CREW (526)
 PSYCHO 6017                   1   4  0     7       THE BREW CREW (526)
 DANGER DANCER 6184            1   0  0     6       FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)
-JACK RIPPER 4651              1   1  1     5       THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SOMATRO 6186                  1   0  0     5       FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)
 RIZZLE-DIZZLE 5923            1   0  0     5       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
 DIEMON 6183                   1   0  0     5       FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)
 WASTEM WUORNOS 6123           0   5  0     5       ANARKYSTS (341)
 ANOTHER BLANKEE 6117          0   5  0     5       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 FUNKY COLD MEDINA 6154        0   2  0     2       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-CAVEMAN 4652                  0   2  0     2       THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)
 GAMBIT 6161                   0   1  0     1       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 KRUNK MONKEY 5939             0   1  0     1       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
 MIDNITE SPECIAL 6160          0   1  0     1       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 INITIATE KILLER 6188          0   1  0     1       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 PRISSY LYNNE 6162             0   1  0     1       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 ATOMIC ORANGE 6156            0   1  0     1       ANOTHER FIASCO (541)
 CONQUESTADOR 6185             0   1  0     1       FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)
 DEAD MEAT 6189                0   1  0     1       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
 DOUBLE-O-ZERO 6158            0   1  0     1       ANOTHER FIASCO (541)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
BUCKET HEAD 5311       7  9 1 5440 OR FIGHT! 336    SUPERIOR MANAGER 22   455 NONE    
MIKEY CAN'T SKA 6159   0  1 0 ANOTHER FIASCO 541    BANDIT PRINCE 25      455 NONE    
MAC 3965               8 10 2 BLITZKRIEG 271        HALO 14 5711          453         
NIGHTWING 6092         1  2 0 THE BREW CREW 526     HIGH ELF 19           455 NONE    
CORINTHIAN 6034        2  6 1 THE DREAMING 529      MOUNTAIN TROLL 18     455 NONE    
GUARD DOG 6182         0  1 0 FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 544   DADDY 6153            455         
B 6164                 0  1 0 MEMPHIS MAFIA II 542  HIGH ELF 19           455 NONE    
TRICH 6147             0  3 0 STDS 534              RILLION 21            455 NONE    
HOPE DESTRUCTOR 6131   2  1 0 VAGRANT REGIME 539    MARCIE 6076           454         
DUSTY CHERUB 6135      1  2 0 VAGRANT REGIME 539    BROWN KITTY TOO 6118  454         
CRUELTY 5740           0  1 0 WOLF PACK 423         MOUNTAIN TROLL 18     455 NONE    
TYRANNY 5815           0  1 0 WOLF PACK 423         SLIPPERS MCGHEE 24    455 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Jhans -- I'm back Bi-atch! -- Mordraith
P.S.  For those who don't know 5440 or Fight!

Nunzio -- God damn?!  I didn't realize you were so close to surpassing *MY* kill 
total...  I've only got a one kill cushion (though I did it in much fewer fights)...  
I think the time has come to pick up my crown as the king of the killers... -- 
Mordraith, D.R.C. for life

Jekyll -- You're still here?  Obviously you have prospered in Jhans' lean times...  
You'll soon be back in the gutter where you belong... -- Mordraith

Manager -- He (superior) is just living up to his namesake... -- Mordraith

Bookie -- It's hard for Jeckyll to talk with that... -- Mordraith

Chaos Inc -- You're coming?  Really?  Did you talk to silverstroker?  Did he tell you 
what it's like here?  Still coming? -- Mordraith

Toad -- There I was in the middle of a crappy turn and who comes through with two 
wins for me?  YOU!! of course.  I've noticed a pattern in our fights when I challenge 
you I win and when you challenge me...I win.  I swear to god your warriors lay down 
more than the girls the Bunny Ranch.  Do you realize that your team accounts for over 
20% of my team's total wins?  20-frothin'-percent!!!  Do you like pain or something?!  
You were five fights over 50% and now you're 19 UNDER!  In only 12 turns at that!  I 
would respect you for takin' your beating like a man but you got one kill on me in 
Osksi and ran your mouth like you schooled me!  You figure out who I am in here 
(where I own you) and give this snooty-ass "I've got nothing to say b/c you say 
nothing" bullcrap.  When you thought you had the upper-hand you sure wanted to talk 
didn't ya?  I guess reality set in for ya, huh, boy?  From now on anywhere and 
everywhere I see you I'm going to beat the holy hell out of your guys.  You're 
marked.  In other words, if we were in prison I'd be trading you for a pack of 
smokes.  That clear enough for ya, buddy! -- Bookie

Manager -- Thanks for clarifying.  Are you reading the newsletter online b/c I'm a 
li'l confused how you knew I wrote you.  I understand the higher priority on the DM 4 
contest but know that you'd always be a welcome addition here in Jhans.  And as to 
you not being in this kill contest, I attributed that to you bein' scared.  (grin)  
No explanation needed.  Maybe you can make if for "Capture The Flag."  G'luck on the 
sands (except against the KLK). (grin) -- Bookie

Drips -- I have bad news.  Your grandma died in a horrible hot tup accident.  She 
went down and never came up! -- The Jhans Morgue
P.S.  We went to check if she was an organ donor and come to find out she's been 
donating that organ for years!

Halo 14 -- You dare speak such filth sitting on the throne?  Don't know if you're 
aware but that's mine.  You just keepin' it warm.  Jhans is and always has been MY 
house.  (evil grin)  Now take the severed head off the stake, quit drinking bodily 
fluids (blood) and lose the 'head' fetish, you sick freak.  Be thankful you have an 
FE advantage.  It's the only thing saving your ass. -- Bookie

Jekyll -- Hey!  You talked!  Coo'!  Honest I've got to say that so far I'm quite 
surprised and imprsesed with what I've seen of your team.  I wish I had someone in 
your range (Halo 14) but maybe I can catch you before you grad.  Lookin' forward to 
'greeting' Chaos with you when they get here. (evil grin)  The Midnite Foundation and 
the KLK...we could be the MF'n KLK!  Just an idea, if the name gets by the censor! 
(laugh) -- Bookie
P.S.  If I can ask you, why did the other MFr's go inactive?

Saint -- Umm, sorry THREE people told you the missing managers.  I'm sure you'll 
never forget after all the repitition.  Me, Polarius and AZ shoulda consulted before 
we did that to you. -- Bookie

     Better three than none, but the Saint isn't here today. -- Temp Ed.

All -- If not this turn then the next, someone's coming back.  For some of you he 
needs no introduction, but for the rest of you:  Let me introduce to you...the newest 
member of the KLK, a personal friend of mine...the rizza, the jizza, the NATURAL BORN 
KILLA...NBK himself...MORDRAITH!!!  Let Chaos have Silver Stroke.  My money's on NBK 
all froth'n day long. -- Bookie

     Any chance of Doc LeMa$e showing up?

Pigfeed -- Good fight.  Next time maybe you won't parry. (shrug) -- Bookie and 
Bibidy-Bobidy-Boo
P.S.  Does your name mean anything in particular?

Chain -- Ouch.  1-4 and two dead.  Tsk. Tsk.  You shouldn't go 7-3 off the start in 
here.  It gets you noticed.  So, you can stick if out or you can run.  Which it gonna 
be? -- Bookie

Hmmm, I lose my fight.  Go to the infirmary and THEN the crowd starts chanting my 
name?  What the froth? -- Badda Bamm

     They were all drunk.

Polarius -- (re:  The Firm)  Nother?!  Hell no!!  Just like your wife, The Firm call 
me 'daddy'.  (evil grin)  Just playin'...now put down the knife and the bottle of 
extenze. (laugh)  Don't make me call you 'Mister Mushroom'! -- Bookie
P.S.  This was my "return fire" for all the right-wing rhetoric I've let slip by the 
past three turns.  As to my true feelings on The Firm:  I'm disgusted that 
anything/anyone associated with my DM career could be so wussy-fied.  If they ever do 
come back they won't stay for long.  I assure you of that.

Iver -- What the hell you feedin' your boys these days?  They are on a nice tear 
aren't they?  Down the road I'd love to know what you've done with 'em.  We got 
'Draith back (this or next turn) and I've asked Tony (Cosmo) to email Jim (Ultraist).  
Maybe even Kevan will come back!  Oh, btw...in case you haven't noticed Chaos, Inc. 
is planning to invade Jhans.  You up to some organized beat downs?  It'll be like old 
days... -- Bookie

Sir Chester -- If 'Cheeto' shows up I want you to beat the cheese-dust off that fool 
at every opportunity.  Get raedy.  The beat down's about to go down. -- Bookie

Speaking of Chaos, Inc...what kind of name is 'Assamite'?  Is that something like a 
'Crotch Crickett?'  Think we should call Assamite 'Crabs'?  Maybe just 'Crab-boy.' 
(snicker) -- Bookie

Slashin'speck -- That was an awesome fight.  Thank the gods it turned out like it 
did. -- Cluracan

Bookie -- Got the jump.  Got lucky.  Hope it turns out the same way next time we 
meet. lol -- P-Diddy, mgr. The Dreaming

All -- I've been sitting back chillin' and then I hear all these Frothin haters 
dissin the KLK.  That's it!  No more mister nice P-Diddy.  I wll turn the sands red 
with the blood of the non-believers.  KLK; KLK Boom. -- P-Diddy

Jealousy Rains -- Pis not hapy.  You got me sent to the DA.  See y'all next time 
around. -- Corinthian

Shocking Toad -- Bookie's got it out for you, son.  The best advice I can give you is 
run, rabbit, run. -- P-Diddy

All -- Are all the people gone for the tourney or are they running scared?  Just food 
for thought. -- P-Diddy

Polarius -- Ain't seen or heard from you in a while.  So I had to give you a shout 
out.  Keep flyin' the flag.  Kerry in 04. (snicker) -- P-(stil not voting for Bush 
either) Diddy

All -- Kamikazi and Shattered Dreams ya need to get back up in here.  Come my KLK 
Brothers and kill with us.  The Brew Crew will be back real soon, so all you haters 
get what's coming to ya. -- P-Diddy

Sir Chester -- Glad to see you joined the good guys (lol).  But on the real good to 
have you with us. -- P-Diddy

All -- We need more people to pick on.  The arena is starting to dry up.

Azrael -- Nobody, and I mean nobody is better than me.  Ya feel me. -- P-Diddy

Ed -- Sorry so sloppy.  I'll try typing next time for your convenience. -- P-Diddy

     Typing would be good, but Ed doesn't have to do the type-in, and neither do I,
     so who cares? -- Temp Ed.

Blind Hypocrisy -- You and your manager are all fools.  I live in the south (Heart of 
Dixie to be exact) and did not take kindly to you referring to us as the KKK.  It's 
the KLK and you would be wise to remember that. -- P-Diddy

Bookie -- I hear Chaos Inc. is coming.  This will cheer me up.  I always enjoy new 
whippin' boys. (lol) -- P-Diddy

Wastem Wuornas -- Why won't you die?  Let me try this one more time. -- Devastator

All -- I've enjoyed my one turn as top team.  Thanks Turtle, for not running. -- 
Azrael

Chaos is coming, ohh, what do we do?  Drinks at the Loucas Lounge, if they lost three 
turns, are one me.  I'm just asking that they last one turn more in here than their 
newest member, Silver Stroke.  Ha, ha! -- Azrael, Lord of the Fallen

Polarius -- No hurt feelings.  I thought it was a legal challenge too. -- Azrael

Outloud -- Cheesy Puffs, cheesy puffs. -- Skirza Slapstick

Slayem Stayner -- You might want to get those cuts looked.  Skirza borrowed that 
shield.  You might be infected. -- Ravage

Corinthian -- Sorry if I got you DA'd this turn. -- Jealousy Rains

Outloud -- Argh, I leave for the tourney and then my manager decided to skip it and 
buy COMICS!!! -- Badda Bang

Badda Bamm -- Stay away from my buttocks dude; you shouldn't have tried to go there. 
-- Ravage

Toad -- When Chaos shows, if they show, you'd better hope they like you because if 
they don't, oh damn.  I'd hate to be you, but wait, I forgot you like handing out 
wins. -- Azrael, ROFLMFAO

All, but especially Bookie -- Sorry to have slipped on getting the spotlights written 
lately.  It's been one damned thing after another, but I expect to have a couple of 
weeks clear for writing in June.... -- the Scribe
P.S.  No, seriously, things should be moving again shortly.

8 April 2004
CLICK (KLK) -- Remember, you asked for it.  Chaos is coming....

14 April 2004
CHAOS Inc. proudly announces our newest member, Silver Stroke.  He becomes the
seventh brother of Chaos.  We shall indeed be better for his joining.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BUCKET HEAD was butchered by SUPERIOR MANAGER in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
CORINTHIAN was dispatched by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
NIGHTWING was savagely slain by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
TRICH was dealt death by RILLION in a popular 1 minute Dark Arena contest.
CRUELTY was narrowly killed by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
MIKEY CAN'T SKA was butchered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena duel.
TYRANNY was butchered by SLIPPERS MCGHEE in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
B was viciously butchered by HIGH ELF in a popular 1 minute Dark Arena competition.
SKIRZA SLAPSTIK unbelievably bested PINK BEAR in a 3 minute gruesome Challenge duel.
UNION JACK unbelievably bested MARCIE in a action packed 6 minute Challenge fight.
KANE was overpowered by SLAYIN STAYNER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
DONNA handily defeated DRIPS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
OBLIVIOUS subdued KILL'EM KREPP in a 3 minute Challenge match.
LUCIFERI devastated CONFESSION in a 3 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
SLASHIN' SPECK was narrowly defeated by DEVASTATOR in a 2 minute Challenge match.
SHAWNDA overpowered WASTEM WUORNOS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
PIGFEED PICKTAN overpowered FUNKY COLD MEDINA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
SYPHILIS viciously subdued CLURACAN in a dull 11 minute brutal Challenge duel.
CHLAMYDIA was devastated by TROJAN MAN in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
SHADOW STARR overpowered CLAP in a 1 minute brutal one-sided Challenge match.
JEALOUSY RAINS was overpowered by ARACHNE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
BROWN KITTY TOO devastated PSYCHO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
DRIVER overpowered ANOTHER BLANKEE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
DEATH STRYKE was luckily beaten by POCOHONTAS in a 2 minute beginner's Challenge fray.
HALO 14 overcame GHETTO KING in a 1 minute veteran's Title contest.
M. THRASHER demolished KERRY BEAR in a action packed 1 minute one-sided fight.
CANIS LUPUS beat KUNG-FU MASTER in a 1 minute fight.
RAVAGE was vanquished by HUGGY BEAR in a 1 minute brutal one-sided fight.
SUBZERO was vanquished by TANTRIC in a 1 minute uneven bout.
SCORPINE unbelievably bested CHIEF BLING-BLING$ in a action packed 6 minute bout.
TIKI BOB was outlasted by THE DARK in a dull 23 minute competition.
BADDA BAMM overpowered CULT MEMBER in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO was vanquished by BADDA BANG in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
REAPER beat KRUNK MONKEY in a 3 minute novice's match.
DADDY assassinated GUARD DOG in a popular 1 minute one-sided bout.
LUCKY STRIKE handily defeated PRISSY LYNNE in a 1 minute mismatched match.
ATOMIC ORANGE was defeated by DIEMON in a 1 minute novice's struggle.
HEPCAT demolished DEAD MEAT in a action packed 1 minute one-sided struggle.
DOUBLE-O-ZERO was overpowered by BLACKJACK in a 1 minute one-sided match.
MIDNITE SPECIAL was overcome by SOMATRO in a popular 1 minute beginner's match.
GAMBIT was luckily beaten by DANGER DANCER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute novice's duel.
RIZZLE-DIZZLE unbelievably bested INITIATE KILLER in a popular 1 minute novice's duel.
CONQUESTADOR was vanquished by THE LOVE BELOW in a 1 minute mismatched duel.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  25         WALL OF STEEL     27 -  11 -  0      71  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      9         TOTAL PARRY       41 -  22 -  0      65  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   8         BASHING ATTACK    33 -  33 -  2      50  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  8         STRIKING ATTACK   40 -  41 -  5      49  |
|AIMED BLOW                       6         LUNGING ATTACK    84 - 105 -  9      44  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    6         AIMED BLOW         8 -  16 -  1      33  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         SLASHING ATTACK   10 -  32 -  2      24  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  5         PARRY-STRIKE       3 -  12 -  0      20  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  12 -  0      14  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   1 -  0       0  |

Turn 455 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      4 -  1     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  3         5  LUNGING ATTACK 
TOTAL PARRY        7 -  2     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  6         4  WALL OF STEEL  
LUNGING ATTACK    14 - 11     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         1  STRIKING ATTACK
AIMED BLOW         3 -  3     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  6         1  TOTAL PARRY    
BASHING ATTACK     4 -  4     SLASHING ATTACK    0 -  5     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   HALO 14 5711               14   9  2  111 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
WALL OF STEEL    SKIRZA SLAPSTIK 5996       10   3  0   81 THE FALLEN (524)
STRIKING ATTACK  KERRY BEAR 3994            10   7  0   70 BLITZKRIEG (271)
TOTAL PARRY      UNION JACK 6015            11   0  0   64 BLITZKRIEG (271)
BASHING ATTACK   HUGGY BEAR 6002             9   4  0   50 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
AIMED BLOW       ARACHNE 5712                4   3  0   38 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is KERRY BEAR 3994.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was MARCIE 6076.  The ten other most popular fighters were CHIEF BLING-BLING$ 6091, 
GAMBIT 6161, CORINTHIAN 6034, DEATH STRYKE 6019, CRUELTY 5740, KILL'EM KREPP 5892, M. 
THRASHER 5312, KRUNK MONKEY 5939, HEPCAT 6157, and PINK BEAR 5883.

The least popular fighter this week was TIKI BOB 6004.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were THE DARK 5715, CLURACAN 6035, SYPHILIS 6129, THE LOVE BELOW 6187, 
CONQUESTADOR 6185, DOUBLE-O-ZERO 6158, DEAD MEAT 6189, BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO 6085, 
SCORPINE 6119, and SUBZERO 6120.