Date   : 05/13/2004    Duedate: 05/26/2004


DM-36    TURN-456

This Weeks Top Honors


5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
(36-5312) [16-6-2,133]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

M. THRASHER                    LUCIFERI
5440 OR FIGHT! (336)           THE BREW CREW (526)
(36-5312) [16-6-2,133]         (36-6018) [5-1-0,41]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

KERRY BEAR                     BLOOD MOON
BLITZKRIEG (271)               REVELATION (543)
(36-3994) [10-8-0,68]          (36-6175) [7-4-0,71]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. 5440 OR FIGHT! (336)        67
2. SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)       41      THE CHADS (482)
3. MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)      38      Unchartered Team
4. THE BREW CREW (526)         29
5. LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)  23      KAMIKAZI (533)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0 THE CHADS (482)           73  37  3 66.4   1/ 2 THE FALLEN (524)         10  4 0
 2/ 0 REVELATION (543)          89  53  6 62.7   2/ 1*KAMIKAZI (533)            8  2 0
 3/ 3*KAMIKAZI (533)            24  15  1 61.5   3/ 3 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     8  6 0
 4- 2*FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)      3   2  0 60.0   4/ 6 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     7  6 1
 5/ 4 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     51  40  7 56.0   5/10 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515)  6  8 2
 6/ 5 5440 OR FIGHT! (336)     219 186 35 54.1   6/ 4 ANARKYSTS (341)           6  9 1
 7- 7*VAGRANT REGIME (539)       8   7  0 53.3   7/13 BABES (416)               5  3 1
 8/ 8 WOLF PACK (423)          152 135 10 53.0   8/15 5440 OR FIGHT! (336)      5  5 1
 9/ 9 BABES (416)              209 189  7 52.5   9/16 WOLF PACK (423)           5  5 1
10/ 0 HELTER SKELTER (256)     494 473 29 51.1  10/ 7 BLITZKRIEG (271)          5  9 0
11/10 BLITZKRIEG (271)         139 134 13 50.9  11- 8*THE DREAMING (529)        4  5 0
12/11 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     35  34  4 50.7  12/11*THE BREW CREW (526)       4  6 0
13/12 THE FALLEN (524)          35  34  1 50.7  13/ 5 STDS (534)                4  7 0
14/13*THE BREW CREW (526)       15  15  0 50.0  14-12*FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)     3  2 0
15/ 0*FORTIFEX (540)             1   1  0 50.0  15/19*MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)    3  7 1
16/ 0*KARNIVORZ (455)            8   9  0 47.1  16-17*ANOTHER FIASCO (541)      2  3 0
17/ 0*ANIMATED DESTRUCTI (545)   7   8  1 46.7  17/ 0*FORTIFEX (540)            1  1 0
18/14 ANARKYSTS (341)          310 364 34 46.0  18/ 0 HELTER SKELTER (256)      1  2 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/16 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515)  58  77 10 43.0  19/ 0*EXQUISITE CORPS II (546)  1  3 0
20/15 STDS (534)                12  16  1 42.9  20- 9*VAGRANT REGIME (539)      1  4 0
21-17*THE DREAMING (529)        16  23  1 41.0  21/ 0*ANIMATED DESTRUCTI (545)  1  4 0
22-18*ANOTHER FIASCO (541)       2   3  0 40.0  22/ 0 REVELATION (543)          0  5 0
23/19*MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)     3   7  1 30.0  23/ 0 THE CHADS (482)           0  2 0
24/ 0*EXQUISITE CORPS II (546)   1   3  0 25.0  24/ 0*KARNIVORZ (455)           0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

Greetings managers of JHANS!  It is I, Polarius, back with your inconsistent KILL 
CONTEST REPORT!  With only 1 kill turn 455 had about as much action as FLAGG on a 
Friday night.  (or any night as far as that goes!)  Of course one question was 
answered.  The question of who's your DADDY!  GUARD DOG no longer has to wonder!  
DADDY has sent him to the big PUPPY POUND in the sky.  This puts TOAD in a tie with 
BOOKIE for first place in the CONTEST with 3 KILLS.  ARROGANCE vs EGO!  Do you 
actually have to ask which is which?  Looks like the WINDS OF CHAOS have blown into 
JHANS...I just hope they blow a little harder!  With only 2 teams they are about to 
become TARGET DUMMIES!  Anway here are your contest leaders:

     Suicidal Dreams    --  3
     Little Girls Like  --  3
     Abysmal Behaviors  --  1
     Babes              --  1
     Blind Hypocrisy    --  1
     Blitzkrieg         --  1
     Crimson Tide       --  1
     Iron Tigers        --  1
     Section Hate       --  1
     STD's              --  1

As you can see this is still anyone's contest!

Until next turn goodbye!

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                                       JHANS #3

Jhans Royal Palace:

     Since his brother-in-law's death Prince Darron of Jhans' life had changed 
dramatically.  He had gone from a care-free teen with a whole city as his disposal to 
that city's ruler.  It was quite a stretch for the Prince who'd never had any more 
responsibility then simply to NOT get caught up in anything that would embarrass the 
Royal Family.  Now he controlled Jhans' fate in a time where everything was far from 

Corridor of Jhans Royal Palace:

     The managers had been summoned (if you call being told to come NOW OR ELSE as 
being summoned) an hour ago by City guards.  Bookie and Polarius had no clue what 
this was about but marched on anyway.  Both  were more then a little concerned 
     "What's this about? C'mon, Bookie.  You know him better then I do.  Has he ever 
just sent for you like this?" Polarius tried to whisper.
     Knowing the guards were listening Bookie made his answer as short and careful as 
he could.  "I...have....no....frothin'....clue.  Just when you get in here smile and 
be your 'normal charming self'."
     They made a turn and where allowed to pass through a double-door guarded by two 
soldiers, each sporting a halberd.  "Friendly looking chaps..." Bookie thought to 
     They entered into a huge sanctuary.  Four columns reached up to the heavens.  
They were at least eighty feet tall and they marked the four corners of an indoor 
swimming area of some kind. Light shown down on the water from above and when it 
rained the pool caught the Alastarian showers which ran from the pool down a canal to 
a miniature man-made waterfall.  It was all very stunning to behold.
     Then Prince Darron called out to them and motioned for them to approach.  The 
Prince was perched on a throne being pampered by his maid-servants who granted him  
whatever whim he may have had.
     The managers approached and bowed.  "Did you send for us, Prince Darron?"
     The Prince smiled. "Yes.  Yes I did.  I have a duty to ask of the two of you.  A 
duty for which I  will reward you.  Interested?"  The Prince had something of a mad 
look in his eyes and the managers  were almost afraid to ask what duty the Prince 
needed served.
     Cautiously Polarius proceeded.  "What can we do for you, your highness?"
     The Prince leaned back, reached for his chalice and took a chug before 
answering.  "What you can do for me...is organize a unit to patrol outside the city 
gates for zombies.  There have been more and more of them seen lately and I want you 
two to keep the area outside the city wall safe for all those who would commerce in 
this great city."
     Bookie and Polarius exchanged glances.  Both managers were very busy in their 
own endeavors.  They had little time for zombie-hunting.
     Bookie asked "Wouldn't it just be easier to send the city-guard?  Why get 
managers and gladiators to do the military's job?"
     "Because that would upset the people.  The people don't want to see a legion of 
soldiers marching out every day to kill zombies.  That would mean the zombies MUST be 
a threat  or we wouldn't send out the army...BUT...if a group of managers were out 
hunting zombies on their own then the panic would be minimal."
     Polarius interjected, "Your highness, with all due respect, do you realize how 
much time and effort it would take to do this?  We have contests and tournaments  to 
prepare for and the time just isn't here.  This would be best left to the military."
     The Prince nodded  silently and scratched his chin. "Hmmm.  I thought you might 
say something like this.  So I got you each something I know you wanted."  The Prince 
snapped his fingers and a servant approached from behind him carrying a silver tray 
with two parchments on it.  The Prince took the first parchment and threw it at 
Polarius' feet and then took the second and threw it at Bookie's feet.
     The managers stood motionless.  They weren't sure what to do.  "Go ahead." 
Darron said.  "Pick them up and look.  I'm sure you'll both be pleased."
     The managers picked up the parchments at their feet and unrolled them.  As they 
read both of their faces lit up.
     "That's right, Bookie.  The deed to the Loucas Lounge with a guarantee to expand 
it within a year to whatever specifications you want."
     Bookie acted stunned.  "How?  How did you get this?"
     The Prince smiled proudly.  "It wasn't easy.  I had to find the manager of 
'Billy Joel Fans'.  He'd been sub-leasing it since he left the game but I convinced 
him to sell.  And it's yours.  All you have to do is go kill zombies.  The same for 
you, Polarius.  Except instead of the Lounge you get a commission in the Jhans 
military, something you've always wanted."
     Polarius acted absolutely astonished.  "How did you know?  How could you know?"
     "It is a ruler's job to know...not to explain HOW he knows.  So...do we have an 
agreement?  The parchments in your hands in exchange for you and your other 
gladiatorial 'friends' keeping the roads zombie-free.  Fair enough?"  The Prince's 
smile was devious, knowing he was asking for more then the managers bargained. But 
the managers agreed anyway.
     "We'll do it." Bookie and Polarius said together.
     "GOOD!! GOOD!!  I expect patrols to start in the morning!  If you two need 
anything...just ask."
     The managers bowed and started to walk away clutching at their precious 
parchments but before they could get too out of ear-shot the Prince yelled out. 
     Bookie turned and replied.  "Yes?"
     "That girl from the other night.  Is she...available this evening?"
     Bookie turned knowingly to Polarius and smiled deviously.  "Of course your 
highness!!  Anything you want!"
     They made arrangements on what time she was to come and Bookie and Polarius made 
their way out of the Royal Palace.  When Bookie was certain they were safely away 
from prying eyes and ears he whispered to Polarius.  "What did I tell you?  He's 
doing just what we want him to do.  And wait, just wait 'til Shawnda gets through 
with him this time.  He'll do whatever we want him to do."

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Out of the Past #7 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
                                   Delarquan Edition

Old Valamantis:

     The group of gladiators moved toward the edge of the risen city as slowly and 
carefully as they would have approached a sleeping dragon... that maybe wasn't 
sleeping after all.  There was a partial wall separating the buildings from the 
countryside around them, but it must be outside the area of effect, because it was 
not in good condition.  There were gaps and fallen stones, even trees growing between 
them where the ages had trapped dirt.
     Smeds of Mordant patted one of the stones thoughtfully.  "Honest stonework 
here," he murmured.
     "And more recent than the ruins," Shamu of Cliffhome agreed.  "Six hundred 
years, I'd say."  He glanced at Smeds, and the other Dwarf nodded agreement.
     "Built just before the most recent Chaos War," the Silver Mage said, "to keep 
things in the ruins from getting out.  Brought down by that war, at least in part.  
But..." he touched several stones lightly and smiled a little, "not completely 
useless even now and against this enemy.  Honest stonework, as you say, but there is 
a barrier spell bound within the stones, and it remains."
     "If the spell is still working, why are we worrying about the ruins?" Smeds of 
Mordant demanded.
     "Because the spell will not keep working much longer."  Tensekai frowned across 
the wall into the city.  "It was a good wall and a good spell, but it won't hold 
Folstrom forever.  Nothing--"  He stopped and looked uncomfortable.
     "You were going to say that nothing will hold the Folstrom forever?" Sputter of 
Dwes Eg asked.
     Tensekai shrugged.  "No absolute statement like that should be trusted, but I 
can honestly say that nothing we've found so far, except raw Chaos, will stop them.  
We have new spells, of course, but what was there to test them on?  We don't know."
     "Yes, okay, but what are we supposed to be DOING here, then?" Lavender Lance of 
Illis asked.
     "You must observe," the Silver Mage answered promptly.  "And I must go with you, 
because there are some things ONLY a mage can observe.  If we can find the keystone 
of the spell that holds the towers up, we could destroy it, yes, and it might be a 
good thing to do so, but the towers are just a symptom.  There are more dangerous 
things in Old Valamantis than just the towers."
     "Those things being?" Smeds cut in.
     "The wizards, obviously," Lavender Lance snapped.
     "Again, just a symptom," Tensekai said.  "Dangerous, yes, very dangerous, 
     Ka D'Argo, who had never been described as stupid, even by his enemies, nodded 
slightly.  "The wizards in Old Valamantis were resurrected along with the city," he 
said slowly.  "You think there might be some way for them to reach other wizards, 
other Folstrom, of THIS time, don't you?  That's what we have to prevent."
     Tensekai nodded.
     "How?" Smeds demanded.
     "I'm not sure," the Silver Mage admitted.  "Killing the resurrected wizards 
might do it."
     "But you don't think that's enough, do you?" Goblin said.
     "No.  I think we'll have to destroy the old city again," Tensekai answered.  
"And that won't be easy with all the blood that's been spilled there.  Not when blood 
magic is at its strongest, as now."
     "But it can be done?" Smeds asked.
     "To get rid of bloodstains, soak in cold water and hand-wash," Lavender Lance 
     Tensekai turned toward her slowly, eyes wide.  "WHAT did you say?"
     The Illisni gladiator backed up a couple of steps in the face of his intensity.  
"It's how you get bloodstains out of cloth.  Soak it in cold water--"
     "Yes!"  The mage stared around almost feverishly.  "We'll need a LOT of cold 
     "Ice," Smeds suggested.  "From the mountains above Khalhums.  Dwarves can do 
that."  He glanced at Shamu, who nodded.  "We're on it."  The two Dwarves stepped 
aside, muttering together about sledges and sawdust.
     "If the wizards now in Old Valamantis realize we're trying to... quench the 
blood magic, they'll move to stop us," Ka D'Argo said.  "So securing the arena and a 
route of access will be our job."
     "And if any wizards get killed in the process..." Goblin bared his fangs, "too 
bad for them."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 495): SMEDS of THE BLACK COMPANY (Darkfist, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 380): TOOFLESS of GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 500): HARALDUR of AESIR (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 496): MARCH MADNESS of SPORTZ! (Guardian, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 495): FRIED TWINKIE of MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 499): ZEP of IRON BROTHERS (?, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 496): GOOBATRON of FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 491): VAPID VANNA of SPRINGBORN (Still, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 482): PARALLAX of MAD SCIENTISTS (Neon Necromancer, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 481): MR. TWISTER of IRONIC TAILS (Mr. Twister, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 455): HALO 14 of BLIND HYPOCRISY (Jekyll, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 446): UHLEK of DARK TOADS (TigToad, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 194): SKULK of CHEAP SHOTS (?, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 432): ANN ARTICHOKE of DELVERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 381): APPLE of FRUITS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 181): MOUSETRAP of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 169): MACAULIFFE of THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 146): 2 PHAT of VERMIN (Sultan, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 374): LARGE SPINNY GUY of DIABLO TOO from TI (The Muffin Man)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 495): KING'S TEN (?, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 380): GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 500): SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 496): SUPERIOR FORCES ZC2 (Manager, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 495): THE TAKEN (Silver Stroke, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 499): BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 496): FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 491): DEVIL'S ADVOCATE (Assamite, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 482): BIG MEAN FISH (Big Wave Dave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 481): COSMIC FREAK OUT (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 455): KAMIKAZI (Turtle, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 446): DENNY'S BKFAST (T'Loi, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 194): CHEAP SHOTS (?, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 432): none
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 381): FRUITS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 181): PLAGUES (Abarsis, the Slaughter Priest, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 169): THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 331): SRETSAMLEUD (Phat Phat, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 146): X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 499): MEDUSA of BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
                (turn 498): RED FUSION of IT'S NEW! (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 496): GOOBATRON of FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh)
                           SUGARBEET of SUGAR AND SPICE (Mannequin, mgr.)
               (turn 495): HOOSIER DADDY of FLOWER CHILDREN (Ebenezer Frothingslosh)
                           JERICO of MORGAN'S BOYS (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 482): MORROCCO MOLE of BEAST MASTERS (The Druid, mgr.)
                            TALON of GET OUTTA MY WAY (Floyd, mgr.)
                            HO HUM HO of CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
                (turn 481): DALLAS of SUPERIOR FORCES 6N (Manager, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 480): GLIMMOR of GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
                  (turn 445): NUTCRACKER of ALL FINESSE (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 194): TAMMY FAYE of WITLESS WONDERS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 432): GATE WITCH of FLAGG'S FIVE (Flagg, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 331): SPENCER of THE BOLT (Hombre, mgr.)
                   (turn 330): AKLAR of MITHRAL HALO (Barnabas, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     I can't believe the violence in JHANS!  I still haven't told Mom I'm writing 
Spyreports.  She'd have a cow!  Well, here we go...  Too bad, KAMIKAZI, but THE 
FALLEN was just too good to be stopped.  5440 OR FIGHT! like really fought hard to 
move up to 8th from 15th.  Way to go!  MVP award for SPATHIC?  5440 OR FIGHT!'s proud 
of it after beating DADDY and getting 18 points.  Talk about yer major upsets!  
GHETTO KING's match with DONNA cost him a loss of 16 points!  Like, M. THRASHER must 
be pretty gutsy!  He challenged the Duelmaster from BLIND HYPOCRISY.  Does this guy 
have a death wish or what!  Boo, hoo!  M. THRASHER slew (slaught?  slet?) HALO 14!  
Actually I never liked him much.  He just wanted to fight all the time.  Is the 
Duelmaster really being a real snob to his teammates?  Don't ask me!   
     So just why would someone becomes a warrior anyway?  It can't be for these 
really neat Spyreports can it?  FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 was JHANS' most avoided team.  Is 
there some award for that?  Is there some deep dark secret why THE BREW CREW's been 
avoiding FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 so much?  Or is it just that they're too scared?  Like, is 
ARACHNE popular, or what?  He was challenged the most in all of JHANS!  He's got a 
4-4-0, is that good?  Ooh!  Did PINK BEAR really know what she was doing when she 
challenged KATHLEEN?  A 18-10-1 speaks volumes.  (Zontoni said that.  I don't know 
what it means.) Like, was that some fighting on PINK BEAR's part, or what?  And she 
got 28 points out of it!  (besides getting in my report)  Poor KATHLEEN.  Some fights 
are really unfair.  How do you think PSYCHO feels about being challenged by BROWN 
KITTY TOO, 18 points above her?  A lotta people lost a lotta money in a lotta bets, 
when BROWN KITTY TOO challenged PSYCHO, 18 points below and lost!  Send 'im to the 
Dark Arena!  Speaking of challenging 27 points above did you hear about THE DARK of 
WOLF PACK vs. KAMIKAZI's OBLIVIOUS?  (And how was that intro!) Do you think THE DARK 
knew something before he challenged OBLIVIOUS?  He got a win and 19 points.  What 
will the guy do next?  JEALOUSY RAINS is being unfair.  She's challenged down 17 
against WASTEM WUORNOS.  I don't know why they let this stuff go on.  (I'd better 
shut up) JEALOUSY RAINS beat WASTEM WUORNOS.  No surprise about that.  Really I'm not 
surprised JEALOUSY RAINS would do such a scummy thing, either.   
     Challenges, revenges, Bloodfeuds.  All JHANS ever talks about is fighting!  Me, 
I'm more laid back.  Hey!  Quit laughing!  Just because TIKI BOB had 8-6-0 was no 
reason for BLITZKRIEG to send him to the Dark Arena!  Stop it!  What a bummer!  
TANTRIC got wasted by TROJAN MAN!  But with a 6-6-1, I guess BLITZKRIEG aren't too 
bummed.  What a bunch of heartless!  I couldn't believe how many people were 
snickering when SLAYIN STAYNER killed RAVAGE.  So he had a 8-6-0, that's no excuse!  
What if they had a fight and nobody showed up?  I'd be out of a job, that's what!!!   
     I really didn't, you know, study when I was a kid.  Who would've guessed I'd be 
a famous Spyreporter?  I'm getting tired of writing this stuff, so I'm calling it 
quits.  Remember you guys, ease up sometimes!  Chill out!  Later, Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 M. THRASHER 5312             16   6  2   133       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-POSTMASTER P 5182            20  11  0   133       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 PINK BEAR 5883               18  10  1    97       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SKIRZA SLAPSTIK 5996         11   3  0    85       THE FALLEN (524)
 KATHLEEN 5865                17  11  0    84       BABES (416)
 CANIS LUPUS 5716             11   7  0    82       WOLF PACK (423)
-HANGING 5507                 11   4  0    81       THE CHADS (482)
 DONNA 5966                    8   6  0    78       BABES (416)
 BLOOD MOON 6175               7   4  0    71       REVELATION (543)
 KERRY BEAR 3994              10   8  0    68       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 UNION JACK 6015              12   0  0    67       BLITZKRIEG (271)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 TROJAN MAN 5710              10   5  3    66       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 SLAYIN STAYNER 5891           7   1  1    66       ANARKYSTS (341)
 GHETTO KING 5180             11  15  1    59       WOLF PACK (423)
 HUGGY BEAR 6002              10   4  0    59       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MARCIE 6076                   4   5  1    56       BABES (416)
 BADDA BAMM 6075               6   4  0    51       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 THE DARK 5715                 5   0  0    46       WOLF PACK (423)
 SHADOW STARR 5999             7   7  1    43       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 PIGFEED PICKTAN 6124          6   0  0    41       ANARKYSTS (341)
 LUCIFERI 6018                 5   1  0    41       THE BREW CREW (526)
 SUBZERO 6120                  5   1  0    39       KAMIKAZI (533)
-SYPHILIS 6129                 3   2  0    37       STDS (534)
-DRIPS 6066                    5   4  0    35       STDS (534)
 ARACHNE 5712                  4   4  0    34       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OBLIVIOUS 6101                6   1  0    33       KAMIKAZI (533)
 DRIVER 6055                   5   3  1    32       KAMIKAZI (533)
 SCORPINE 6119                 5   1  0    32       KAMIKAZI (533)
 THE LAST TRUMP 6173           5   1  1    31       REVELATION (543)
-SHAWNDA 6032                  5   3  0    31       THE DREAMING (529)
 DEVASTATOR 6079               5   5  0    30       THE FALLEN (524)
 SLASHIN' SPECK 5854           5  13  1    29       ANARKYSTS (341)
 BADDA BANG 6013               4   8  0    29       THE FALLEN (524)
 PRINCE OF LIES 6171           4   2  0    29       REVELATION (543)
 JEALOUSY RAINS 5995           5   9  1    28       THE FALLEN (524)
 SPEKTER 4921                  3   3  0    28       KARNIVORZ (455)
 KILL'EM KREPP 5892            6   2  0    27       ANARKYSTS (341)
 PSYCHO 6017                   2   4  0    27       THE BREW CREW (526)
-BRAIN COLLECTOR 6134          3   0  0    26       VAGRANT REGIME (539)
 REAPER 6150                   3   0  0    25       KAMIKAZI (533)
 BATTERING RAM 6198            3   0  0    24       ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CLURACAN 6035                 6   2  0    23       THE DREAMING (529)
-CHLAMYDIA 6148                2   1  0    23       STDS (534)
 CONFESSION 6003               6   3  0    22       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLACKJACK 6163                2   0  1    21       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 KANE 6020                     4   2  0    20       THE BREW CREW (526)
 ANOTHER BLANKEE 6117          1   5  0    20       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
-WRETCHED WIGHT 6132           1   2  0    20       VAGRANT REGIME (539)
 BROWN KITTY TOO 6118          3   3  1    19       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 SPATHIC 6189                  1   1  0    19       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
-LADY SCARE ALL 4922           1   1  0    19       KARNIVORZ (455)
-FREAKY FRED 4920              3   2  0    16       KARNIVORZ (455)
 CLUTCH SHUTTLE 6060           3   2  0    15       HELTER SKELTER (256)
-DIMPLED 5776                  3   1  0    15       THE CHADS (482)
 RUH-ROH, RHAGGY 6193          1   0  0    15       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
-CHIEF BLING-BLING$ 6091       1   4  0    14       THE DREAMING (529)
 MISCOUNT 6090                 0   1  0    13       THE CHADS (482)
 HORIZONTAL POLKA 6191         1   0  0    12       THE BREW CREW (526)
-FRANKENSLOSH 5901             3   1  0    11       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 RIZZLE-DIZZLE 5923            2   0  0    11       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
-HEPCAT 6157                   1   0  0    11       ANOTHER FIASCO (541)
-LUCKY STRIKE 6155             1   0  0    11       ANOTHER FIASCO (541)
 SOMATRON 6143                 1   0  0    11       FORTIFEX (540)
 ABIGAIL 6203                  1   0  0    11       EXQUISITE CORPS II (546)
 FLYING BLADE 6196             1   2  0    10       ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)
 MONKEY SHINE 5927             1   0  0    10       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 TANYA 6136                    1   0  0    10       BABES (416)
-THE LOVE BELOW 6187           1   0  0    10       THE DREAMING (529)
-CLAP 6151                     1   1  0     9       STDS (534)
 DANCING BONES 6194            2   1  1     8       ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)
 DEATH STRYKE 6019             1   5  0     8       THE BREW CREW (526)
-CRACKED DOLL 6133             1   2  0     8       VAGRANT REGIME (539)
 MOON HUNTRESS 6200            1   0  1     6       WOLF PACK (423)
-DANGER DANCER 6184            1   0  0     6       FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)
 FUNKY COLD MEDINA 6154        1   2  0     6       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 POCOHONTAS 6137               1   3  0     6       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 WASTEM WUORNOS 6123           0   6  0     6       ANARKYSTS (341)
 DADDY 6153                    1   1  1     5       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 STRAW GOLEM 6197              1   2  0     5       ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)
-SOMATRO 6186                  1   0  0     5       FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)
-DIEMON 6183                   1   0  0     5       FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)
-BEEZLE 4924                   1   1  0     4       KARNIVORZ (455)
-CORPSE COUNT 4923             0   2  0     2       KARNIVORZ (455)
 GAMBIT 6161                   0   2  0     2       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 KRUNK MONKEY 5939             0   2  0     2       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
 GENITAL WARTS 6192            0   1  0     1       STDS (534)
-ATOMIC ORANGE 6156            0   1  0     1       ANOTHER FIASCO (541)
 MELISSA 6204                  0   1  0     1       EXQUISITE CORPS II (546)
-CONQUESTADOR 6185             0   1  0     1       FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)
 PROWLER 6199                  0   1  0     1       WOLF PACK (423)
-DOUBLE-O-ZERO 6158            0   1  0     1       ANOTHER FIASCO (541)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
PERSISTENT BEGGAR 4    0  1 0   1                   BLACKJACK 6163        456 NONE    
BLADOW 6211            0  1 0 5440 OR FIGHT! 336    SUPERIOR MANAGER 22   456 NONE    
WOOD GOLEM 6195        0  3 0 ANIMATED DESTRUCT 545 WURM KIN 27           456 NONE    
INITIATE KILLER 6188   0  2 0 BLIND HYPOCRISY 504   RILLION 21            456 NONE    
HALO 14 5711          14 10 2 BLIND HYPOCRISY 504   M. THRASHER 5312      456         
TIKI BOB 6004          8  7 0 BLITZKRIEG 271        BLACK ORC 20          456 NONE    
TANTRIC 6036           6  6 1 BLITZKRIEG 271        TROJAN MAN 5710       456         
MAC 3965               8 10 2 BLITZKRIEG 271        HALO 14 5711          453         
REJECT CHAD 6212       0  1 0 THE CHADS 482         BLACK ORC 20          456 NONE    
GYPSY 6202             0  1 0 EXQUISITE CORPS I 546 MOUNTAIN TROLL 18     456 NONE    
SHADOW 6201            0  1 0 EXQUISITE CORPS I 546 WURM KIN 27           456 NONE    
RAVAGE 5993            8  6 0 THE FALLEN 524        SLAYIN STAYNER 5891   456         

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
GUARD DOG 6182         0  1 0 FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 544   DADDY 6153            455         
TARGET 6144            0  1 0 FORTIFEX 540          MOON HUNTRESS 6200    456         
LONGSHOT 6152          0  1 0 HELTER SKELTER 256    RIPPLES DORRIGAN 23   456 NONE    
PRISSY LYNNE 6162      0  2 0 MEMPHIS MAFIA II 542  BANDIT PRINCE 25      456 NONE    
MIDNITE SPECIAL 6160   0  2 0 MEMPHIS MAFIA II 542  STONE GOLEM 26        456 NONE    
THE LAMB 6167          0  2 0 REVELATION 543        STONE GOLEM 26        456 NONE    
BEAST 6166             0  1 0 REVELATION 543        SUPERIOR MANAGER 22   456 NONE    
ERRUPTION 6094         0  4 0 SECTION HATE 491      SHADOW STARR 5999     452 NOT REVE
RAIMONDO 6114          0  3 0 SHADOW SOLDIERS 530   BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BO 6085 452 NOT REVE
PHOENIX 6138           0  1 0 SHADOW SOLDIERS 530   JACK RIPPER 4651      452 NOT REVE
BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BO 6085  4  5 2 SUICIDAL DREAMS 525   HIGH ELF 19           456 NONE    
TOAD THE BORING 6190   0  1 0 SUICIDAL DREAMS 525   BLACK ORC 20          456 NONE    
HOPE DESTRUCTOR 6131   2  1 0 VAGRANT REGIME 539    MARCIE 6076           454         
DUSTY CHERUB 6135      1  2 0 VAGRANT REGIME 539    BROWN KITTY TOO 6118  454         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Jhans -- I seen at least 3 instances where someone was saying "froth this, or froth 
that" .  What's the deal with that? -- Sylvester Frothingslosh

Bookie -- Not sure if you know, but I run the "Wolf Pack".  Reading all your 
personals cracks me up, you were always one of the best at it, keep it up! -- 

Mordraith -- I can't tell you how nice it is to see you back in action!  You still 
coming back to Sunset as well? -- Sylvester

Jeckyll -- See above ad.  Err, at least the 2nd part of it. ;) -- Sylvester 
"Ultraist" F.

Bookie -- RE your ad to Toad:  Now that was an entertaining piece of reading! -- 

Tiki Bob -- Your buddy Union Jack is next on the list! -- The Dark

Anyone got a manager list for this arena? -- Sylvester

     I have no doubt that the Saint, Keeper of Lists, does, but she's on vacation.  I
     hope you don't mind waiting till next turn. -- Temp Ed. who has no lists

Hey, are we having a contest or not?  If so, whoever runs it, RUN IT! -- Shocking 
P.S.  I believe it's Bookie that runs it and that would explain the crappy service.  
He believes in Government taking care of the populace and this is the kind of service 
we get when Government is in charge.  I got better service at the DMV last month than 
we all get in Jhans with this contest.  Update the standings fool!

Bookie, you are weak and worthless, you do NOT belong here. -- Shocking Toad

P-Diddy, you should call yourself what you really are-- SD Beeeatccchhhhh! -- 
Shocking ToadA

Azrael, don't know who you are and I don't care.  Don't know who Chaos is and I don't 
care.  You want a piece of me, BRING IT ON! -- Shocking Toad

Hey Bookie, I'm not the baby girl that ran out of Osksi after taking a beeting.  You 
can bring it on anywhere and everywhere.  You are nothing.  My situation here deals 
with the characters I have/had; nothing to do with you.  I have 1 fighter with more 
than 5 fights.  40% of my team totals a whole 4 fights.  They are young, they will 
grow, they will kick your Commie butt whereever/whenever, you send no fear, only 
amusement.  Hoping to see you soon baby girl! -- Shocking Toad

"You can lead a fool to knowledge but you can't make him think!"

"If good remains silent only evil will be heard!"

5440 (or morth), bookie, ank -- Normally I make it a point never to post in arena I'm 
not currently active in, but since my name was posted here three times I felt 
obligied to comment.  In case you remember no one ran me out of this arena I had one 
kill at the start and no kills against me and this with a very medicore team lol.  
That I put here to run with a friend of mine. Secondly after reading over the last 
three turns it looks more like a betty crocker cook fest giong here more than a 
killing spree heheh...only posting 4 kills in three turns between about 20 teams 
roughly is some pretty sad killing percantage if you ask me, and over 50 percent of 
the deaths in the dead column come from da fights. Imho this is a walk in the park 
compared to competions like morya madness in 28 this is palein comparision. -- Silver 

bookie, ank, mor -- so please come to Morya if you want a real competiton.  Come get 
some. -- Silver Stroke 

Papa Bear -- Congrats on Donna's TV. -- Polarius

Toad -- Hey, you've tied Bookie for the contest lead!  Congrats!  I'm glad it is 
close competition. -- Polarius

Chaos -- Welcome to Jhans.  I hope we show you a very warm welcome! -- Polarius, mgr. 
of Blitzkrieg 

Jekyll -- Hmm...bloodfued didn't go through.  And the warrior I sent after you lost!  
Great!  I guess I've got 2 more turns to try. -- Polarius

Mordraith -- Welcome back!  Welcome to the ranks of the kLk! -- Polarius

Anarkysts -- Nice down challenge.  But I guess you are used to going down...for 
challenges! -- Funky Cold Medina/Blitzkrieg

Jhans -- The last 14 turns have been fun.  My manager thinks that he has kept me a 
couple turns too many!  For those of you who care: 17(2)-19(2)-17-5(2)-16(2)-4-15(1) 
-- Tiki Bob

Cosmo -- Just cause I will not be in Jhans anymore you can still come to my house.  
Just remember, no groping is allowed! -- Tiki Bob

Mordraith -- Don't fake the funk..... to use your term "Bi-atch" I'm more than happy 
to give you the "welcome back" that you need.  Consider me the welcome wagon when 
your warriors drop like flies to my Disciples.  Welcome home, choppy, welcome home.  
You prepared to reap the whirlwind? -- Jekyll

Bookie -- Yeah... I can talk... as a matter of fact I used to ham it up quite a bit 
in the ads... you can ask Mordy about that. Haven't really spoke alot in the ads the 
past couple of years... but damnit... that's part of the game and you numbnuts have 
gotten my attention.  It's been awhile since DM was 100% fun.  It's always been fun, 
just the past 2-3 years (Hell, probably more to some) there has been something 
"missing".  Well I'm in it for the long haul... lthough I really don't think you are 
aware of the monster you have just woke from his slumber.  As far as Chaos goes... 
what the hell ever.  Yeah, you got my support in that area.  I don't quite know who 
the players are in that little regime so you and your boyz will have to get me up to 
speed.  Let's take care of a little bit of Chaos then we'll go back to our regularly 
scheduled program. -- Jekyll

P-diddly -- Take it down a notch, Jethro.  I could care less that your from the 
"Heart of Dixie", although depending on where your from, I'm sure several other 
states below the Mason Dixon line would disagree with your statement.  Hell I've 
grown up, lived in, have family in, etc damn near the entire South.  KKK, KLK... it's 
all a play on words.  Damn near every alliance's name is butchered, skewed, poked at, 
what not (GOD KNOWS, the Foundation can vouch for that!).  So deal with it, because 
that is the way it is and always will be.  Do I think you boyz put on white robes and 
pointy hats?  No, but ya know what... it damn sure got your Overalls all in a twist, 
eh?!?  So shine up that 10 lb. belt buckle, throw on a little Conway Twitty and tell 
the Sheep goodnite, and more importantly... chill the hell out. -- Jekyll

STDS -- Ya know the crowd has been chanting and screaming about it for weeks....  A 
battle of myself vs. any and/or all of the STDS.  They want to see how I'll hold 
up... if I'm durable, safe, and reliable.  Well we just saw that Chlamydia cannot 
stop me... and as a matter of fact Chlamydia didn't even put up much of a fight 
(although she could have taught me some skills).  What else ya got?  Care to give 
disease #2 a try.  Double your pleasure, double your fun.  Test the guarantee, sickly 
one, test it.  Make it worth my time on the next go-around. -- Trojan Man

Bookie -- To answer your question as to why the rest of The Foundation went inactive.  
Well, it's a combo of several things actually.  The first is Time and/or Money.  I'm 
sure we can all relate to that.  Some had no time, and some had no money to spend on 
DM, and some was a combo of the two.  But despite the money/time situation, The 
Foundation has always found a way around that provided the game intrigues us and is 
fun.  So the bottom line is that for my old cronies the game has changed too much to 
still pique their interest.  It hasn't changed in and of itself, HOWEVER, the 
attitude/philosophoes of the majority of those that play today have changed 
drastically then when we (The Foundation) FIRST started playing.  We all gave it a 
second go-around for a couple of years... and you see the end result.  I am the only 
Overlord active now.  So when I say Time and/or Money I am still correct, it's just 
now that now its not neccessarily a lack of but more along the lines of do they WANT 
to invest that Time/Money into a game that in their eyes is just a shadow of its 
former self.  As it stands now, Bird has officially quit (twice now I might add) and 
has divvied up his ADM roster to Carnage, myself, and our old ex-alliance mate Floyd.  
Will the others return to our wonderfull and addicting game?  I don't know, I'll give 
my boys another year or so before I retire the Foundation. -- Ryan / Jekyll

Shocking Toad -- Man, I've been trying to remember where I know you from.  You 
look...so familiar.  I thought about it and thought about it and then it hit me!  You 
used to work for Warner Bros didn't you?  Didn't you!?  When people are around you 
never speak (just like you never send ads) but when you're alone with somebody it's 
all "Hello my baby...hello my darlin'...hello my raggggtime gal..."  Wow, an old 
cartoon legend amidst us.  Maybe we could get Rascilly Rabbit in here and start some 
sort of demented cartoon war. <shrug> -- Bookie

NBK -- MORDRAITH!!!  Ha-Ha...YOU MADE IT!!  Excellent.  Let the bodies hit the 
floor...let the bodies hit the floor...LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!!! -- Doc 
LeNecroBookie, D.R.C. 4 LIFE!!

Flagg -- (this is player to player)  Glad you could make it.  Hope you stick around 
and dont get run off by the level of nastiness here. <laugh>  G'luck. -- Bookie

Flagg -- (this is in character)  Well, well, well...  Take a look at what the cat's 
drug in.  So you finally got the juevos to show up...and you brought a friend with 
you.  Good. <evil grin>  It's been along time since me and 'Draith got to beat 
someone down together.  I hope you got more friends then that one team 'cause if not 
you got problems...BIG problems. -- Bookie

Cosmo, Sexorcist, Ultraist -- Guys...c'mon...please...for old times sake...can I hear 
a D.R.C. 4 Life?  How about dustin' off the ole DOOMcorps shirts?  It's a froth'n 
reunion!!!  Mordraith...get some beer!!  Let's party up in this be-yatch!! -- Bookie
P.S.  Is funny how through all the alliances and stuff it was always 'US'.  I'm glad 
you guys are back.

Ravage -- This is for Bamm!!  <whack>  This is for Bookie!!  <whack>  And this is for 
your manager being a froth'n idiot and not realizing he's being played like a fool 
but that THING he calls a girlfriend.  <whack> <whack> <whack>  Tell Azrael to wake 
up... it's sad to watch. -- Huggy Bear
P.S  Word on the street is Donna done served more people then McDonald's and Az is 
the poor fool still eating her pie....eewwwwww

Ladies and Gentlemen -- Greetings and salutations! -- Paradox23, mgr. of Twisted

I was lookin at the newsletter and was impressed at the large number of PA's.  I 
gotta admit, I was even more impressed that it was entirely comprised of 3 people who 
have a personal vendetta against ink and trees.  ;)

     It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it.

Mordraith -- Do Chaos winds blow?  Or do they just suck?  Just wonderin'. -- Bookie
P.S.  I'm Doc Steele see, mwa-ha-ha...

Flagg -- And don't be comin' up in here tryin' to be tricky.  I know you.  You'll try 
something underhanded but it won't work here.  Silly Flaggette, tricks are for kLk's. 
-- Doc LeNecroBookie, Warden of the Froth Circle
P.S.  I'm Doc LeNecroBookie, mwa-ha-ha...

Clap -- Clap on?  Naw, CLAP-OFF! -- Shadow Starr

Bang -- Thanks for gettin' me DA'd, bitch! -- Bibidy-Bobidy-Boo

Sexorcist -- Hey man, for ole times sake crotch-chop Toad for me.  C'mon...take your 
hands and <chop>.  Hell...if you won't I will.... <crotch chop-chop-chop> DRC FOR 
FROTH'N LIFE!!! -- Bookie

Ultra-Bomb-4000(Sylvester) -- Glad you're back.  mwa-ha-ha.  Oops, sorry.  My 'Doc 
Steele' just came out on its own.  "Got lucky match-up at the tourney see...mwa-ha-
ha."  Ugh!!  What the hell?!  
ARGH! -- Bookie
P.S.  DRC for life, mha-ha-ha

Temporary Editor -- Should Doc LeMa$e return it would speed the coming new golden age 
for Jhans... how ever I am not going to hold my breath... -- Mordraith

     That's the way it goes sometimes. -- Temp Ed.
     P.S.  But you look very colorful when your face turns blue.

Bookie -- looks like Chaos showed up for the party... now what sort of fun do we have 
planned for them... -- Mordraith

Manager -- Leave it to me to talk smack and have my DAed guy get killed by 
superior... Oh ironic fates how you mock me... -- Mordraith

Polarius-- What can I say, Thrasher's got the knack... You can swing by the guild 
house and look at his training... might be surprising... -- Mordraith

Reaper -- Well faught... I am impressed... -- Krunk Monkey

Hepcat -- You were lucky...Very lucky... I think our next meeting will have a much 
different outcome... -- Spathic!! (formerly Dead Meat)

Flaggy boy -- Well well well... Looks like chaos has arrived... yes Jhans is 
trembling... with laughter... Don't become acustomed to those 3-2 turns, I doubt 
you'll be getting much of those anymore... YOu are a marked man in Jhans... So you 
bringing more friends? -- Mordraith

Another Fiasco -- I am assuming you are one of flaggs little pals, and thus you will 
be getting thrown a beating also... If it proves to not be true, you will still be 
thrown a beating... So announce who you are so we know who we are beating down... -- 

KILL KILL KILL!!! -- Matrix

Okay.  I am finally here.  So who do I gotta click to get some satisfaction? -- 

Talk of the town and we post good numbers on our 1st turn.  Even now the arena is 
slowly becoming ours. -- Matrix

Donna -- You hoe!!! -- Drips/STDS

The Jhans Morge -- Was beginning to wonder what happened to my dear grandma...we 
thought she had shaked up with Bookie or Azrael?  Yes she was one hell of an organ 
donor...heee heee heee. 

P-Diddy -- Thanks for the welcome and am enjoying Jhans and the KLK.

Bookie -- I'll have you know that a pack of smokes are going for $50.00 bucks, but 
I'll give you two packs for Toad. -- STDS

Trojan Man -- Your latex withstood me this time.  Will attack you again wtih another 
STD and see how you react...I will not rest till I see you bust. -- Chlamydia/STDS

Shadow Starr -- OH!  Attempted to slay me did you???  Maybe next time? -- Clap!!!

Cluracan -- I don't see how they called our fight 11 miutes brutal challenge 
fight...it was more like an 11 desperation duel! -- Syphilis/STDS

Flagg -- Welcome to Jhans.  Soon as we settle on "energon" shortage, the Decepticon 
conquest of Rodeki shall continue.  Hope you found some Autobots. -- Ravage, with 
Devastator nodding his head behind him

Flagg -- I know your Chaos and by the name "Another Fiasco" I guess he is too.  You 
must not have talked to "Silverstroker" (hmm, hmm, I liked that one "Droith," may I 
call you "Droith" I wonder?  Oh yea, Flagg.), I really hope there's more than two of 
you coming in or this is gonna be one short "invasion." -- Azrael, breeding Chaos for 

Mordraith -- May I call you "Droith?" -- Azrael, spreading Chaos like sunflower seeds

Bibidy-Bobidy-Boo -- Sorry if you got DA'd. -- Badda Bang

Outloud -- Jhans, been nice fighting with all you guys. -- Jealousy -- headed to the 
Dark Arena unless I win my next two -- Rains

Temp. Ed -- The arena crowd...DRUNK!!!  Say it isn't so! -- Azrael

     Will you believe me?  They look drunk.  They sound drunk.  They act drunk....

Outloud -- Cheesy Poofs, Cheesy Poofs. -- Fallen Guild

Those Drinks at the Loucas Lounge are on me if the chaos LASTS, three turns, not if 
they last three turns, if they L-A-S-T three. -- Azrael, just trying to keep the 
expenses down

Slashin Speck -- Bashed Insect. -- Devastator

Nuncio -- What the Froth?!  You just keep getting ratings against me.  First Stayner, 
then Speck.  Geesh, where'd Wastem go? -- Azrael

Mordraith -- Welcome to the KLK bro, and no hard feelings but I gotta challenge M. 
Thrasher.  That win will put me in place for a shot at the throne. -- Azrael, Lord of 
the Fallen and eyeballing the throne

All -- Me Skirza, two lungers away from me being King.  Me avenge friend Mac soon 
enuff.  Me strongest there is.  And among winners, no room for the weak. -- Skirza 

"Mister Mushroom?"  WTF??  Err, uhm, Polarius, Bookie, do I even want to frothin' 
know? -- Azrael

"MF'n KLK" -- Just add the "version 1.0" and it's perfect, MF'n KLK V.1, hm, hm. -- 
Azrael V.1

Bamm -- You forgot about the admirer. -- Bang

Pink Bear -- You got KLK boomed. -- Ravage

All -- Feels good to be top team again. -- Turtle

Toad -- Were you aware most turtles eat toads?  Hmmm, come to think of it I'm 
hungry...for WINS. -- Turtle

All -- I wanted to go by the name Kamikazi, but my KLK alliance brothers have 
declared me Turtle. -- (begrudgingly) Turtle

Krunk Monkey -- Go back to the jungle and get rekrunk.  You're wound down. -- Reaper

Tantric -- Great fight. -- Subzero

Chief Bling Bling$ -- Good fight. -- Scorpine

Toad -- You need "another" blankee.  Thank you for the win. -- Driver

14 April 2004
CHAOS Inc. proudly announces our newest member, Silver Stroke.  He becomes the
seventh brother of Chaos.  We shall indeed be better for his joining.

6 May 2004
                                     DEATH FEST

     The ferocious ghosts of former glories whispered across the wind swept sands of
DM 59; agonizing incessantly due to the diminutive demise of the Delarq arena known
as Illis.
     Tattered banners and forgotten memories wailed in the wind for a dynamic death
march to dawn once more upon the blood stained sands of the Delarq slow arena.
     The distant call crying for  a declaration of restoration amidst the ruin of the
all but forgotten Delarq arena carried to the far corners of Alastari; drawing the
Devious, the Diabolical, the Dangerous and the Down Challenging to cross blades and
wage warfare among an assemblage of new stables managed by the Known and Unknown;
willing to spill fresh blood, while carving their destiny during 15 Rounds of contest
driven combat to be known as the "Illis Incredibly Diabolical Delarq Death Fest".
     A lone cloaked figure huddled by lamplight in a remote outpost near the
crossroads of ElseWhere and ElseWhen; feverishly formulating the foundational
framework for the dawning of the Delarq Death Fest in DM 59, complete with
Gladiatorial Commission sanctioned prizes to promote the growing thirst for a Delarq
Slow Arena Death Festival.

     Delarq Death Fest Opening Round debuts the first turn immediately following the
Summer 2004 F2F Tourney and continues through the completion of 15 consecutive

     Death Fest points are Won or Lost ONLY in the DM 59 Delarq Slow Arena [Tourneys
DO NOT Add or Subtract from the Death Fest Point Scoring System]:

Death Fest Scoring Format:
Win =3D +2 pts
Loss =3D -1 pt
Kill =3D +5 pts [in addition to +2 pts for Win]
Death =3D -3 pts [in addition to 1 pt for Loss]
Dark Arena Kill =3D +10 pts [in addition to +2 pts for Win]
Dark Arena Death =3D -5 pts [in addition to 1 pt for Loss]
Revenged Blood Feud =3D +5 pts [successful Revenged Blood Feud provides Death Fest
contestants the opportunity to cancel out 3 pts for Death and 1 pt for Loss; while
gaining +1 pt overall for the Revenged Blood Feud in addition to the +2 pts for Win]

    DEATH FEST PRIZES will be awarded to the Top Ten Death Fest Stables on the basis
of Total Points*** accumulated during the 15 rounds of competition as follows:

1.  Favorite Weapon Knowledge for 1 (one) warrior ranked Initiate or higher on the
Final Round to be revealed by RSI to each of the Top Ten Death Fest Stables
2.  Renaming of Dark Arena Monsters and NPCs [yet to be determined according to how
many DA Monsters and NPCs are available in DM 59 for Renaming]
3.  The Top Five Death Fest Stables will receive New Team Rollup Certificates as
follows:  1st (10), 2nd (8), 3rd (6), 4th (4) and 5th (2)
4.  Renaming Illis Arena for 6 months plus Receiving 6 months Free Play courtesy of
RSI will be awarded to the manager of the 1st Place Death Fest Stable
5.  Discussions are underway regarding a possible Special Award granted to the Illis
Iron Stable qualifiers who compete in 67 of a possible 75 fights during the course of
the 15 consecutive rounds of the Death Fest [Key Factor is How Many (?) stables will
be competing in the Death Fest without drawing away participation by current managers
in the remaining slow arenas!]  Therefore, it is important for all managers entering
stables in DM 59 for the upcoming Death Fest to contact RSI as soon as possible
regarding their participation in this contest so that a Final Ruling on the proposed
Illis Iron Stable Award can be issued by RSI.

***TieBreaker is determined on the Final Round by the DM 59 Newsletter Recognition
Rankings.  The stable with the Highest Ranked Active Gladiator is granted the
decision.  [Example: Warrior A and Warrior B are both listed in the Recognition
Rankings with 87 pts; however, because Warrior A is listed in the Recognition
Rankings ahead of Warrior B, then Warrior A is granted the TieBreaker Decision for
His/Her stable!]

     Opening Round Team Spotlight Bonus [minimum 15 paragraphs!]  Each Delarq Death
Fest competitor who writes a Team Spotlight featuring their Stable (Name) and
Managerial Alias [Gladiatorial Names Optional] in regards to competing in the Delarq
Death Fest will receive 25 pts added to His/Her opening round score.
     Illis Iron Stable Bonus [in addition to the proposed award awaiting RSI
approval!]  Any manager whose stable competes in at least 67 of the possible 75
fights during the 15 rounds of Death Fest receives 25 points added to His/Her final
overall score [this allows each stable the cushion of missing one round of
competition; plus up to 3 additional fights due to waiting for replacement rollups
from Deaths suffered either in Tourneys or during the Death Fest contest in DM 59
over the course of 15 rounds of competition!]

Delarq Death Fest
Hosted by Hammer
[Who Else?]

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

TIKI BOB was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO was slaughtered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
INITIATE KILLER was put to death by RILLION in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena match.
THE LAMB was viciously butchered by STONE GOLEM in a 3 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
PRISSY LYNNE was assassinated by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
WOOD GOLEM was murdered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena competition.
MIDNITE SPECIAL was dealt death by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena duel.
LONGSHOT was butchered by RIPPLES DORRIGAN in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena match.
BLADOW was easily killed by SUPERIOR MANAGER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
BEAST was easily killed by SUPERIOR MANAGER in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
GYPSY was slaughtered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
TOAD THE BORING was slaughtered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
REJECT CHAD was assassinated by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
SHADOW was executed by WURM KIN in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena melee.
DONNA overpowered GHETTO KING in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
M. THRASHER butchered HALO 14 in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge Title conflict.
PINK BEAR narrowly defeated KATHLEEN in a 4 minute veteran's Challenge brawl.
KERRY BEAR was defeated by CANIS LUPUS in a popular 1 minute Challenge duel.
BADDA BAMM devastated KILL'EM KREPP in a 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
TROJAN MAN executed TANTRIC in a 1 minute bloody mismatched Challenge brawl.
BROWN KITTY TOO was overpowered by PSYCHO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
SUBZERO beat ARACHNE in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
THE DARK outlasted OBLIVIOUS in a unpopular 28 minute bloody Challenge fight.
PIGFEED PICKTAN bested DEVASTATOR in a 1 minute gory Challenge bout.
JEALOUSY RAINS vanquished WASTEM WUORNOS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
REAPER unbelievably bested SLASHIN' SPECK in a 3 minute Challenge duel.
SPATHIC overpowered DADDY in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
BLOOD MOON was luckily beaten by SKIRZA SLAPSTIK in a action packed 5 minute fight.
UNION JACK defeated MARCIE in a 4 minute match.
HUGGY BEAR vanquished THE LAST TRUMP in a 1 minute uneven bout.
PRINCE OF LIES was overcome by SHADOW STARR in a 1 minute bout.
LUCIFERI unbelievably bested SPEKTER in a crowd pleasing 6 minute bout.
SLAYIN STAYNER slaughtered RAVAGE in a 1 minute gory one-sided bout.
SCORPINE viciously subdued CLUTCH SHUTTLE in a slow 11 minute brutal fray.
BADDA BANG subdued DEATH STRYKE in a 2 minute fight.
KANE was defeated by DRIVER in a 1 minute bout.
CONFESSION beat FLYING BLADE in a 1 minute bout.
ANOTHER BLANKEE overcame DANCING BONES in a crowd pleasing 1 minute match.
STRAW GOLEM was vanquished by HORIZONTAL POLKA in a 1 minute mismatched fight.
FUNKY COLD MEDINA subdued GENITAL WARTS in a 1 minute amateur's match.
BLACKJACK executed PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
GAMBIT was demolished by ABIGAIL in a 1 minute mismatched match.
POCOHONTAS was outlasted by RIZZLE-DIZZLE in a tiring 15 minute novice's duel.
KRUNK MONKEY was vanquished by SOMATRON in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
BATTERING RAM savagely defeated MISCOUNT in a 2 minute gruesome competition.
MONKEY SHINE overpowered MELISSA in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
RUH-ROH, RHAGGY vanquished PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
PROWLER was demolished by TANYA in a 1 minute uneven conflict.
MOON HUNTRESS unbelievably slew TARGET in a exciting 3 minute amateur's fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  22         WALL OF STEEL     30 -  13 -  1      70  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 12         TOTAL PARRY       42 -  23 -  0      65  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 10         BASHING ATTACK    38 -  33 -  2      54  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   9         STRIKING ATTACK   40 -  46 -  6      47  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         LUNGING ATTACK    90 - 106 - 11      46  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    7         AIMED BLOW         9 -  21 -  1      30  |
|AIMED BLOW                       6         SLASHING ATTACK   13 -  35 -  2      27  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -  14 -  0      22  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  14 -  0      13  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   3 -  0       0  |

Turn 456 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY        5 -  2     STRIKING ATTACK    4 -  8         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      5 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  7         4  WALL OF STEEL  
BASHING ATTACK     5 -  4     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  3         1  AIMED BLOW     
LUNGING ATTACK    11 - 11     AIMED BLOW         1 -  5         1  STRIKING ATTACK
                              PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  3         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   M. THRASHER 5312           16   6  2  133 5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
WALL OF STEEL    PINK BEAR 5883             18  10  1   97 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
STRIKING ATTACK  KERRY BEAR 3994            10   8  0   68 BLITZKRIEG (271)
TOTAL PARRY      UNION JACK 6015            12   0  0   67 BLITZKRIEG (271)
BASHING ATTACK   HUGGY BEAR 6002            10   4  0   59 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is KERRY BEAR 3994.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was BLOOD MOON 6175.  The ten other most popular fighters were SLASHIN' SPECK 5854, 
KATHLEEN 5865, SPEKTER 4921, PINK BEAR 5883, TARGET 6144, THE LAMB 6167, MARCIE 6076, 

The least popular fighter this week was OBLIVIOUS 6101.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were THE DARK 5715, RIZZLE-DIZZLE 5923, POCOHONTAS 6137, SCORPINE 6119, 

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

M. THRASHER (36-5312) 5440 OR FIGHT! (336)