Date   : 05/27/2004    Duedate: 06/09/2004


DM-36    TURN-457

This Weeks Top Honors


(36-5883) [19-10-1,112]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

PINK BEAR                      POSITION IS EMPTY
LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)     
(36-5883) [19-10-1,112]        

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

KERRY BEAR                     TROJAN MAN
BLITZKRIEG (271)               BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
(36-3994) [10-9-0,64]          (36-5710) [11-5-3,81]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. TWISTED (548)               67
2. WOLF PACK (423)             30      THE CHADS (482)
3. LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)  29      Unchartered Team
4. SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)       29
5. STDS (534)                  29      TWISTED (548)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*TWISTED (548)              4   1  0 80.0   1/ 2*KAMIKAZI (533)           11  4 0
 2/ 1 THE CHADS (482)           74  41  3 64.3   2/ 3 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)    10  4 1
 3/ 2 REVELATION (543)          91  56  6 61.9   3/ 1 THE FALLEN (524)          9  6 0
 4/ 3*KAMIKAZI (533)            27  17  1 61.4   4/ 5 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515)  8  7 1
 5/ 0 QUEBEC (461)               9   6  0 60.0   5/ 9 WOLF PACK (423)           8  7 1
 6- 4*FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)      3   2  0 60.0   6/ 8 5440 OR FIGHT! (336)      8  7 1
 7/ 5 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     53  41  7 56.4   7/ 4 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     7  6 1
 8/ 6 5440 OR FIGHT! (336)     222 188 35 54.1   8/15*MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)    6  9 2
 9/ 8 WOLF PACK (423)          155 137 10 53.1   9/ 6 ANARKYSTS (341)           6  9 1
10/12 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     39  35  5 52.7  10/ 7 BABES (416)               5  6 0
11/ 9 BABES (416)              211 192  7 52.4  11/10 BLITZKRIEG (271)          5 10 0
12/13 THE FALLEN (524)          38  36  1 51.4  12/ 0*TWISTED (548)             4  1 0
13/10 HELTER SKELTER (256)     496 473 29 51.2  13-12*THE BREW CREW (526)       4  6 0
14/11 BLITZKRIEG (271)         140 138 13 50.4  14-14*FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)     3  2 0
15-14*THE BREW CREW (526)       15  15  0 50.0  15/18 HELTER SKELTER (256)      3  2 0
16/16*KARNIVORZ (455)            9   9  0 50.0  16/13 STDS (534)                3  5 1
17/17*ANIMATED DESTRUCTI (545)   9  10  1 47.4  17/16*ANOTHER FIASCO (541)      3  5 0
18/20 STDS (534)                14  16  2 46.7  18/21*ANIMATED DESTRUCTI (545)  3  6 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/18 ANARKYSTS (341)          312 367 34 45.9  19/ 0*PORN IN A BARN (551)      2  3 1
20/19 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515)  61  79 10 43.6  20-11*THE DREAMING (529)        2  3 0
21-21*THE DREAMING (529)        16  23  1 41.0  21/17*FORTIFEX (540)            2  5 0
22/23*MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)     6   9  2 40.0  22/22 REVELATION (543)          2  8 0
23/ 0*PORN IN A BARN (551)       2   3  1 40.0  23/24*KARNIVORZ (455)           1  1 0
24/22*ANOTHER FIASCO (541)       3   5  0 37.5  24/23 THE CHADS (482)           1  6 0
25/15*FORTIFEX (540)             2   5  0 28.6  25/19*EXQUISITE CORPS II (546)  1  7 0
26/24*EXQUISITE CORPS II (546)   1   7  0 12.5  26/ 0 QUEBEC (461)              0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                             Eulogy for a Comrade Fallen
                                  *               *

                           Captain Commander of the Fallen
                                  Harkenic Slasher

     Ravage was a brave warrior and a courageous leader.  He will be missed.

     Fallen, fear not the grave.
     Fallen, all will know your name.
     Fallen, rest now till the end of days.
     Risen, shall you be from the flame.
                              Proverb of the Fallen

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     The crowd gathered in the Main room of the Lucas lounge was cheering wildly as 
the newly recrowned two-time Duelmaster walked in.  Bookie had replaced the usual 
Bartender and was passing out free drinks.  Mordraith leaned back against the bar, a 
large mug of dark ale in his hand and an impish smirk on his face.  The rest of the 
kLk Managers were close at hand enjoying a friendly game of cards.
     As Thrasher crossed the room the sea of people parted.  Several well-wishers 
leaned in to shake hands.  Thrasher made his way to the small stage where the 
Duelmaster would traditionally "hold court" in the Lucas Lounge.  He hopped up nimbly 
and turned to the crowd a smug grin flashing for all to see.
     "Ahh, the Lucas Lounge, now under the expert management of Bookie.  I am so glad 
you could all join me here for one last Party....  As you are all well aware, I have 
recieved an invitation to the Isle of the Eye....  I will be going, of course, though 
I think perhaps my fighting days will be at an end now."
     Much of the crowd gasped or grew silent.
     "Now now, fear not... I will not be gone long....  I will collect what is due to 
a lord protector and return to my beloved Jhans...  I think Bookie has some business 
ventures for me.
     "I have to say I was a little surprised that the Commision granted me this 
challenge....  There has been a tendency for things to not go my way when it came to 
picking my fights....  Not that it had ever proved a problem for me, as you all know, 
I am more than a match for any fighter in Jhans....  It's not just idle boasts....  
You could ask Jekyll about that....
     "Let's raise up our glasses in toast to the fallen champion, Halo 14....  I 
can't say he was a great fighter, or a decent human being....   I also can't say he 
was good looking or was ever given decent management....  I guess some could say I 
did everyone a favor by taking out that piece of garbage....  Ripples certainly 
didn't mind my brutality....
     "So a toast to Halo 14... may he rot in Ahringol's grasp...."
     The crowd  cheered -- well the kLk and associates cheered -- and raised their 
     "Now then, drink up and be merry!"
     Thrasher finished off his glass. and stepped back down to the main floor.  He 
made his way to the bar where Mordraith waited for him.  Bookie waved for the Staff 
to take over behind the bar and led Mordraith and Thrasher up some stairs into his 

                                      SPY REPORT

     Like the magnificent Sun, rising upon the Dawn and exiling the Night for a Day, 
I, Novgorodny Vir, return once again!  The boys at THE FALLEN left the arena 
dejected, after being kicked out of the top spot by KAMIKAZI.  Good show!  Those 
betting on THE DREAMING lost their shirt, as THE DREAMING lost their fighting 
abilities:  0-0-0.  What's a move up by 7 you ask?  (alright, maybe you didn't ask)  
Cause for celebration, according to MEMPHIS MAFIA II.  SUICIDAL DREAMS posted a nice 
gain, to come in 2nd.  Everybody loves a winner...  Like a new team fighting for the 
first time and entering the official rankings, TWISTED got 4-1-0 to come in 12th.  
BABES had cause to celebrate, after DONNA got 19 points by beating MANICOUAGAN.  A 
certain someone should cut down on the drinking and practice more, after losing 16 
points to GHETTO KING.  (Discrete enough, BLOOD MOON?) The arena was more crowded 
than usual this time, as PINK BEAR faced JHANS' Duelmaster.  Now I can't insult PINK 
BEAR, as she has gloriously dueled to the top.  Oh great new Duelmaster!!!  (Stop me 
if I lay it on too thick) So who was the warrior seen charging into immovable walls 
and challenging dead trees?  Someone's got a basic problem...   
     A Zenmaster once told me, 'Does not the spinning wheel turn?  And do not the 
little birds cry out?'  Any ideas?  Like a horde of jackals fleeing from the lion, so 
did the "warriors" in JHANS avoid BLITZKRIEG.  Like a pup with its tail between its 
legs, BABES scurried away from BLITZKRIEG.  Oh, the shame!  Is it charming 
personality?  Conversational abilities?  Good oral hygiene?  Whatever it is, THE DARK 
is the most challenged warrior.  As a confidence booster, THE LAST TRUMP challenged 
PROWLER, down 30 points.  Do you also slay vicious rodents in your spare time, THE 
LAST TRUMP?  Warriors of JHANS!  Do you wish your reputations tainted by the base 
challenge of THE LAST TRUMP?  Take heed JHANS, of the unprincipled action of BADDA 
BANG.  By challenging WASTEM WUORNOS, 23 points below her, BADDA BANG besmirches the 
noble art of dueling.  BADDA BANG won victory over WASTEM WUORNOS with a point 
difference of 23.  So this is what JHANS calls a duel.  This will make an interesting 
tale.  Them's the breaks, KRUNK MONKEY.  Expecting fair challenges from BLIND 
HYPOCRISY is evidently too much to ask.  Bookies and CONFESSION were more than a 
little surprised, as KRUNK MONKEY snatched an easy victory from CONFESSION, gaining 
22 points.  Take heed JHANS, of the unprincipled action of ANOTHER BLANKEE.  By 
challenging GAMBIT, 18 points below her, ANOTHER BLANKEE besmirches the noble art of 
dueling.  ANOTHER BLANKEE beat GAMBIT.  The whole thing leaves a bitter memory.  As a 
confidence booster, BLACKJACK challenged DADDY, down 16 points.  Do you also slay 
vicious rodents in your spare time, BLACKJACK?  Warriors of JHANS!  Do you wish your 
reputations tainted by the base challenge of BLACKJACK?  Do my ears deceive me?  
MELISSA (outclassed by 29 points) challenged DEVASTATOR, in what promises to be a 
fight.(!) Soopreyes, soopreyes!  MELISSA emerges from the fray 1 points the richer.  
Good show, MELISSA!  OBLIVIOUS found herself challenged by a warrior 20 below:  
MISCOUNT.  MISCOUNT of THE CHADS kept its wits as it was overcame by OBLIVIOUS.   
     The moving sword slashes, and having slashed, moves on...  Charity is unknown in 
JHANS, and rightly so.  THE FALLEN exacted their revenge against ANARKYSTS.  Ask not 
a spymaster for counsel, for he will pontificate long after you have fallen into an 
unconscious stupor.   
     Leave me now, you base fools!  As the seasons change, and the creatures of the 
wild change also, so do I feel a yearning to leave this place.  JHANS, I leave you 
now.  The Duelmaster has agreed to foot my bill at Lucas Lounge.  'Til next time-- 
Novgorodny Vir  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PINK BEAR 5883               19  10  1   112       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-POSTMASTER P 5182            20  11  0   133       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 DONNA 5966                    9   6  0    97       BABES (416)
 SKIRZA SLAPSTIK 5996         12   3  0    93       THE FALLEN (524)
 CANIS LUPUS 5716             12   7  0    92       WOLF PACK (423)
 KATHLEEN 5865                18  11  0    91       BABES (416)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HANGING 5507                 11   5  0    90       THE CHADS (482)
 TROJAN MAN 5710              11   5  3    81       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 MANICOUAGAN 4966              8   3  0    81       QUEBEC (461)
 GHETTO KING 5180             12  15  1    78       WOLF PACK (423)
 HUGGY BEAR 6002              11   4  0    71       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BADDA BAMM 6075               7   4  0    65       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 KERRY BEAR 3994              10   9  0    64       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 UNION JACK 6015              12   1  0    63       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 SLAYIN STAYNER 5891           7   2  1    63       ANARKYSTS (341)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BLOOD MOON 6175               7   5  0    55       REVELATION (543)
 SYPHILIS 6129                 4   2  0    53       STDS (534)
 SLASHIN' SPECK 5854           6  13  1    47       ANARKYSTS (341)
 KILL'EM KREPP 5892            7   2  0    45       ANARKYSTS (341)
 MARCIE 6076                   4   6  1    44       BABES (416)
 ARACHNE 5712                  5   4  0    43       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
-LUCIFERI 6018                 5   1  0    41       THE BREW CREW (526)
 SPEKTER 4921                  4   3  0    41       KARNIVORZ (455)
 REAPER 6150                   4   0  0    41       KAMIKAZI (533)
 OBLIVIOUS 6101                7   1  0    38       KAMIKAZI (533)
 SCORPINE 6119                 6   1  0    37       KAMIKAZI (533)
 THE DARK 5715                 5   1  0    37       WOLF PACK (423)
-DRIPS 6066                    5   4  0    35       STDS (534)
 DEVASTATOR 6079               6   5  0    34       THE FALLEN (524)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 THE LAST TRUMP 6173           6   1  1    33       REVELATION (543)
 BADDA BANG 6013               5   8  0    33       THE FALLEN (524)
-SHAWNDA 6032                  5   3  0    31       THE DREAMING (529)
 SHADOW STARR 5999             7   8  1    30       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 PIGFEED PICKTAN 6124          6   1  0    30       ANARKYSTS (341)
 BLACKJACK 6163                3   0  2    30       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 CLUTCH SHUTTLE 6060           4   2  0    29       HELTER SKELTER (256)
-PSYCHO 6017                   2   4  0    27       THE BREW CREW (526)
 JEALOUSY RAINS 5995           5  10  1    26       THE FALLEN (524)
 ANOTHER BLANKEE 6117          2   5  0    26       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 BROWN KITTY TOO 6118          4   3  1    25       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 BATTERING RAM 6198            3   1  0    25       ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)
 SUBZERO 6120                  5   2  0    24       KAMIKAZI (533)
 KRUNK MONKEY 5939             1   2  0    24       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CLURACAN 6035                 6   2  0    23       THE DREAMING (529)
-CHLAMYDIA 6148                2   1  0    23       STDS (534)
 CONFESSION 6003               6   4  0    22       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 PRINCE OF LIES 6171           4   3  0    21       REVELATION (543)
 DIMPLED 5776                  4   1  0    21       THE CHADS (482)
 DRIVER 6055                   5   4  1    20       KAMIKAZI (533)
-KANE 6020                     4   2  0    20       THE BREW CREW (526)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 STRAW GOLEM 6197              2   2  0    20       ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)
-LADY SCARE ALL 4922           1   1  0    19       KARNIVORZ (455)
 LUCKY STRIKE 6155             2   0  0    18       ANOTHER FIASCO (541)
 DISCHORDIA 6216               1   0  0    18       TWISTED (548)
 MONKEY SHINE 5927             2   0  0    17       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 FLYING BLADE 6196             2   2  0    17       ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)
-FREAKY FRED 4920              3   2  0    16       KARNIVORZ (455)
 MOON HUNTRESS 6200            2   0  1    15       WOLF PACK (423)
 GENITAL WARTS 6192            1   1  1    14       STDS (534)
-CHIEF BLING-BLING$ 6091       1   4  0    14       THE DREAMING (529)
 MISCOUNT 6090                 0   2  0    14       THE CHADS (482)
 RIZZLE-DIZZLE 5923            3   0  0    13       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
 SNOW CRASH 6218               1   0  0    13       TWISTED (548)
-HORIZONTAL POLKA 6191         1   0  0    12       THE BREW CREW (526)
-FRANKENSLOSH 5901             3   1  0    11       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 A HORSE 6304                  1   0  1    11       PORN IN A BARN (551)
 COSMIC TRIGGER 6215           1   0  0    11       TWISTED (548)
 QUEEN SLEEZ 6142              1   0  0    11       FORTIFEX (540)
 RUH-ROH, RHAGGY 6193          1   1  0    11       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 SOMATRON 6143                 1   1  0    10       FORTIFEX (540)
 PIXIE DUST 6308               1   0  0    10       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 SANDPAPER CONDOM 6311         1   0  0    10       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO 6309        1   0  0    10       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 FNORD 6217                    1   0  0    10       TWISTED (548)
 FRENCH HAMSTER 6294           1   0  0    10       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 THE BEAST 6296                1   0  0    10       REVELATION (543)
 HAY RIDE 6305                 1   0  0    10       PORN IN A BARN (551)
-THE LOVE BELOW 6187           1   0  0    10       THE DREAMING (529)
 DANCING BONES 6194            2   2  1     9       ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)
-CLAP 6151                     1   1  0     9       STDS (534)
 GITO GITO HUSTLER 6291        1   0  0     9       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
-DEATH STRYKE 6019             1   5  0     8       THE BREW CREW (526)
 SPATHIC 6189                  1   2  0     8       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
 POCOHONTAS 6137               1   4  0     7       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 WASTEM WUORNOS 6123           0   7  0     7       ANARKYSTS (341)
 JU JITSU 6310                 1   0  1     6       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 TANYA 6136                    1   1  0     6       BABES (416)
-DANGER DANCER 6184            1   0  0     6       FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)
 FUNKY COLD MEDINA 6154        1   3  0     6       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-SOMATRO 6186                  1   0  0     5       FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)
-DIEMON 6183                   1   0  0     5       FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)
 HOT MAMA 6149                 0   1  0     5       BABES (416)
 HEPCAT 6157                   1   1  0     4       ANOTHER FIASCO (541)
-BEEZLE 4924                   1   1  0     4       KARNIVORZ (455)
 GAMBIT 6161                   0   3  0     3       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
-CORPSE COUNT 4923             0   2  0     2       KARNIVORZ (455)
 ATOMIC ORANGE 6156            0   2  0     2       ANOTHER FIASCO (541)
 PROWLER 6199                  0   2  0     2       WOLF PACK (423)
 MELISSA 6204                  0   2  0     2       EXQUISITE CORPS II (546)
 BIG LOU 6145                  0   1  0     1       FORTIFEX (540)
 ROUGH RIDER 6295              0   1  0     1       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-CONQUESTADOR 6185             0   1  0     1       FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 (544)
 ELECTROMIC 6213               0   1  0     1       THE CHADS (482)
 CHICKEN TENDER 6303           0   1  0     1       PORN IN A BARN (551)
 THE LAMB 6293                 0   1  0     1       REVELATION (543)
 DONNA THE HUNTRESS 6307       0   1  0     1       THE FALLEN (524)
 SEXY COW 6301                 0   1  0     1       PORN IN A BARN (551)
 AVERAGE JOE 6146              0   1  0     1       FORTIFEX (540)
 MORAXX 6292                   0   1  0     1       FORTIFEX (540)
 SILICON CARNE 6298            0   1  0     1       EXQUISITE CORPS II (546)
-DOUBLE-O-ZERO 6158            0   1  0     1       ANOTHER FIASCO (541)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
HALO 14 5711          14 10 2 BLIND HYPOCRISY 504   M. THRASHER 5312      456 NONE    
MAC 3965               8 10 2 BLITZKRIEG 271        HALO 14 5711          453 NONE    
TANTRIC 6036           6  6 1 BLITZKRIEG 271        TROJAN MAN 5710       456         
REJECT CHAD2 6219      0  1 0 THE CHADS 482         STONE GOLEM 26        457 NONE    
ABIGAIL 6203           1  1 0 EXQUISITE CORPS I 546 GENITAL WARTS 6192    457         
LULLABI 6297           0  1 0 EXQUISITE CORPS I 546 A HORSE 6304          457         
RAVAGE 5993            8  6 0 THE FALLEN 524        SLAYIN STAYNER 5891   456 JUST REV
GUARD DOG 6182         0  1 0 FLAGG'S CHAOS 5 544   DADDY 6153            455         
TARGET 6144            0  1 0 FORTIFEX 540          MOON HUNTRESS 6200    456         
DADDY 6153             1  2 1 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE 515 BLACKJACK 6163        457         
GOAT CHEESE 6302       0  1 0 PORN IN A BARN 551    JU JITSU 6310         457         
CROWLEY 6214           0  1 0 TWISTED 548           RIPPLES DORRIGAN 23   457 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Sylvester the Ultrabomb -- The use of the word 'froth' has become common vernacular 
in Jhans and to most of the kLk managers.  We have taken that word and use it...well, 
in place of other words to color up our personals.  For example... when I fight 
shocking toad I generally froth his warriors up.  <grin>  It's not a slam on your 
alliance.  It's our way to be colorful and bypass the oppressive censoring which is 
necessary in pbm gaming.  We can be colorful and nobody gets offended.  It froth'n 
rocks!!! lol -- Doc LeNecroBookie, Warden of the Froth Circle

     Thereby doing ME out of a chance to be oppressively censorious. -- Temp Ed.

All -- All I ever wanted was to get Toad to talk...  I think it worked!  <laughing so 
damn hard to see little mister 'I'm not gonna talk to you-Toad' lose his cool and go 
on a rant>  Just knowing I pissed him off that bad made my entire turn worth it! -- 
Bookie (still crotch-chopping Toad every chance he gets)

Bookie -- DRC 4 Life?  Sorry, I never was a member of that group.  Come to think of 
it, I don't think I was even a member of DOOMcorps while you were active.  I 
appreciate the sentiment though. -- Sylvester

Shocking Toad -- Reading your personals is like listening to someone run their 
fingernails down a chalkboard...  Weren't you supposed to teach me a lesson or 
something a while back?  In 51 perhaps?  Well, I'm up for a lesson... if you're 
feeling froggy that is. -- Sylvester "Ultraist for those who just can't let go" 

Jeckyll -- No welcome back for me?  I'm hurt. -- Sylvester

     Have you been gone?  Your presence is so overwhelming, I see you when you're not
     here. -- Ripples Dorrigan

Mordraith -- You heard from Black Peter lately? ;) -- Sylvester

<dancing to the metal riff>  If u havin' Toad problems I feel sad for you, son.  I 
got 99 problems and a Toad ain't one.... -- Bookie
P.S.  <crotch chop beyatch>

Azrael -- Heh, that ad stung a lot more considering the facts then I'd attended.  I 
was trying to snap you out of it...not turn the knife an extra twist.  <shrug>  
sorry, dude. -- bookie

Halo-14 fall down......go BOOM!!!  Oh well, Jeckyll, that's how it goes.  If he'd 
been worthy he wouldn't have died.  Chalk another kill up to the arena from Hell.  
<laughing>  And he was so close to graduation....bha-ha-ha. -- Bookie
P.S.  You got kLk-Boomed, see....mwa-ha-ha

Jeckyll/Ryan -- (m2m)  I know that sucks but u know...'u live by the sword, u die by 
the sword.'  The game goes on.  Man, it's getting fun in here at least! -- Bookie

KLk -- You check this out?  Silver Stroke runnin' his mouth like the king of the dark 
circle or something (ala JGW perhaps?)  Fool frontin' like this arena is sooo easy.  
Then why the hell he break camp?  If he was doing soooo well with that mediocre team 
of his then why he leave?  Why isn't he man enough to come into here with his 
alliance-mates?  Hey Flagg...what kinda people u let in your alliance?!  This punk... 
who already has a team here who he says does soooo well with won't even come in here 
to help YOU out against a severe case of being outnumbered.  Sounds like to me Silver 
Stroke has misplaced his juevos and developed diarrhea of the mouth as a side-effect.  
Boy can talk the talk but so far I haven't seen him walk the walk...all he's done is 
WALKED AWAY like a punk-ass beyatch.  If that's the stuff CHAOS is made of then this 
is going to be a joke. -- Bookie

Papa Bear -- Yes, congrats on Donna's TV.  You made the city proud! -- Bookie

Tiki-Bob -- I'd say I'd miss you but you've handed my lungers so many losses that I'm 
not going to cry over you leaving the arena.  It's been fun, tho.  Hanging out after 
karaoke.  Watching Cosmo grope the dance-hall girls.  The expression "five minutes 
for five dollars" will always make me laugh even when we're not talking about Flagg's 
sex life. <grin>  *sigh*  Those were the days....drunken, drunken, days.... -- Doc
LeNecroBookie, karaoke master and supervisor of bad club visits by 

Jeckyll -- I think the thing missing from this game has been that passionate fire 
that burns in the good manager's heart.  This game is one of those experiences where 
the more you put into it the more you get out of it.  Even if we only turn this one 
arena back into what the game used to be I'll be happy.  It already looks like the 
arena is starting to get hopping and it's really starting to get fun again.  I 
consider myself lucky to have the corps of managers we have here in Jhans.  We all 
like to raise hell and most of us don't take anything in the ads personally.  It's 
good that we can talk 'in character' and then say something to each other as our 
real-world selfs.  No matter how much we fight in the arena or even hate each other's 
tactics we all share something very important...the love of this game.  It's so 
rewarding to see things starting to look like old days.  I bet RSI is trippin' out on 
how much success we're having (and they're probably laughing all the way to the bank 
with all these teams in here)  Hopefully if we keep this up you can convince a few of 
your MF boys to come back.  It'd be a blast having more targets to kill! <laugh> -- 

<and now for a short production from Shocking Toad>


<we now return you to your normally scheduled ads joined in progress>

....and that's why Neon is terribly afraid of sheep.  Clear that up? -- Bookie
P.S.  <crotch-chop for Toad>

Mordraith -- Plans for CHAOS?  Hmm.  Well, we could start by down-challenging Silver 
Stroke.  WAIT!  That wuss didn't even come back.  Umm, I guess Flagg and Matrix will 
have to take his beating for him...IF THEY COME BACK.  Geezus, what have I got to 
do...go to Talcama and piss on the Thunder + Lightning guildhouse to get someone 
who'll stand and fight? -- Bookie

STDs -- I agree.  Donna is a ho.  Different Donna, same ho-like quality and charm. -- 

Drips -- I think you're grannie was more up Azrael's alley.  He likes 'em nasty. 
<chuckle> -- Bookie

Chester -- You sure u wanna give up two packs?  I can personally testify that Toad's 
been  gettin worn out in Jhans for months!  You may have to go side-to-side instead 
of back-and-forth to feel anything... -- Bookie

Mordraith -- (re: Team on the Move)  Damn free-fight blocking bastard!!!  I'll catch 
you soon enough!  If only I had my original team still in here... -- Bookie

Toad -- For your information...Polarius runs the spy-report, not me. -- Bookie

Toad -- Well, well, well.  Somebody got all pissy-wissy and wrote some ads didn't 
they?  bwa-ha-ha  That's all I've ever wanted to do.  Even if you do write a bunch of 
garbage you still wrote something.  You mention the youth of your team and how few 
FEs they have.  Maybe they all have such low FE b/c everything you ran we beat the 
hell out of it so bad that you had to DA it!!!  Let's be honest here, Toady.  Your 
warriors have had the life expectancy of a terrorist bomber.  I also find it amusing 
how you're one of those Americans who wave the flag and anyone who disagrees with you 
is a 'commie' or 'un-American'.  The expression of different opinions is what makes 
this country great.  Even if I think you're a blithering idiot you still have the 
right to prove it at any opportunity you wish so please...keep talking!!!  And 
pertaining to Osksi, what part of "I'm only here to prep for tourneys' did you not 
understand?  I'm back in Osksi now.  If you got something to prove then try to prove 
it.  By all means try to prove it.  Beating your ass feels my days with joy like 
nothing else ever could.  You're the kind of manager I love in this game.  You don't 
pay attention and don't like to talk but when you do you sound like a freaking moron.  
READ THE NEWSLETTERS AND KEEP UP!!!  Are Toads a naturally stupid creature?  They do 
eat flies and nothing that eats flies can be that smart... -- Bookie

Hey, Polarius!  You're in a room with Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and Shocking 
Toad.  You have a gun with only two bullets.  What do you do?
A:  You shoot Toad twice.

Jeckyll -- You keep talkin like that I'm gonna burn a cross in your yard... oh wait.  
Maybe I shouldn't have said that.  <puts a white robe back in the closet and sits 
very silently trying not to be noticed> -- Bookie
P.S.  <to paraphrase American History X and to please the censors>  "You know what?  
I'm gonna hate me a ninja.  I don't even know what a ninja is but I'm gonna hate me 
one.  My cousin Derrick is workin next to a ninja now drivin' him ninja CRAZY!!"

P-Diddi -- Sup, Ninja.  I know u got your hands full with 'the ladies' but don't stay 
away from DM too long.  The Love Below is one of my faves. -- Bookie

Brew-ha -- I'm proud of ya for sticking it out man.  Good job. -- bookie

Turtle -- Well, you've stopped coming by for help and you've taken the reigns on your 
own.  You've done really well and I hope you keep turning into the monster-manager 
that u seem to be heading towards. -- bookie
P.S.  Would you and Az please get the hell out of the way of my free fight?  I'd 
really appreciate it.

Driver -- That's not a blankee.  That's a bodily fluid towel.  I say no more. -- 

Azrael -- his name is 'DRAITH.  'DRAITH.  Let's all spell it together.  D-R-A-I-T-H.
-- Bookie

Speaking of spelling.  How do you spell "scared little boy who hides in another arena 
and talks smack in YOUR arena's personal ads"?
A:  S-I-L-V-E-R S-T-R-O-K-E.
To be named "SILVER" you sure do look YELLA to me.

Mordraith -- FROTH YOUR COUCH, EDDIE MURPHY!!! -- bookie
P.S.  Cocaine is a helluva drug....

Saint -- There was a request for a manager listing.  Could you provide one this turn 
(if you're off of vacation)? -- bookie

     Her lightning pigeon is sick, and you've got me again, sorry. -- Temp Ed.

Papa Bear -- I was just browsing through the DM newsletters and I was looking at 
Primus's newsletter.  I was very pleased to see Maimed is doing as well as he is.  
It's impressive to see a warrior from Jhans be the second highest ranked warrior 
running in the game (in the arena at least) right now.  I am rooting for you to whip 
Grim Reaver's ass and take the top spot!  Jhans would be proud to be home of the top 
warrior in the game.  I know I would be.  At least one of Maimed's 18 kills was one 
of my original Memphis Mafia guys.  <laugh>  I know you're not one for personal ads 
and the like but would u mind if I used Maimed in my story?  I figure in the 
Alastarian world that someone like Maimed would be a superstar about the city.  It 
would be like the running back from your local college turning into the premier back 
in the NFL.  Even if you don't respond or say no I HOPE TO GOD YOU GET MAIMED ONTOP 
OF PRIMUS!!! GO JHANS!!!  GO MAIMED!!! -- Bookie
P.S.  By the way, thanks again for breakin that hundred for me in Hartford.  I doubt 
many other managers would have (even though you did examine it like I had a laser 
printer up in my room or somethin')  You're cool by me, Papa Bear.  I hope you never 
leave Jhans.  Swords high!!

Oh yeah, all you guys new to the arena.  As you may have seen I'm doing a story here 
in Jhans going along with scribe's.  I don't know if you care about role-playing BUT 
IF YOU DO I'm willing to cameo managers and/or warriors in it if you would like.  
it's the city's storyline after all and everyone IN the city should have a chance to 
partake if they wish.  And I guarantee you that even if our game philosophies clash 
or if we're considered 'enemies' in the arena (yeah, this even means you, Flagg, and 
even Toad) I promise to you I won't make your persona look like a fool.  I will give 
everyone the kind of respect I'd want if someone were using me in their story.  In 
fact, if some of you want to play up hostilities in the story toward me or anyone for 
that matter it's negotiable.  Just diplo me or email me at BookiekLk@aol.com with 
your ideas and we'll work something out if it's possible. -- Bookie

Flagg -- I think I said this in Rodeki but I'll say it again just to make sure.  If 
you wanna cross my story in Jhans with yours in Rodeki holla at me.  maybe each do 
one part dealing with the others story or something.  I'm sure we could think of 
something between the two of us.  Btw... I like your the story you wrote in Rodeki 
last turn.  It's good to see someone else still writes besides scribe. -- bookie

     YES! -- Scribe

Jeckyll -- Oh, by the way...your aimed blow can't avoid all of us.  <evil grin>  Good 
job, turtle!  You're only mistake was letting him walk out of the fight alive.  Oh 
well, that can always be corrected next turn.  <evil grin> HOT DAMN IT'S GETTING FUN 
IN THIS DAMN ARENA!!! -- bookie

<hello my baby...hello my darlin'....>

who said that?  Mwa-ha-ha

Marquis D'Frothingslosh -- Hey man.  Just read on the forum u ran exquisite corps II.  
Welcome to Jhans!  Hope the arena is to your liking.  We like to be brutal in here 
but it's in fun.  Prepare for the downchallenges!!!  G'luck. -- Bookie
P.S.  By the way, we like to say 'what the froth?' a lot.  You'll get used to it. lol

Sly Frother -- I should have started there this past turn but unfortunately my 

warriors were detained... Should have matters cleared up for the next turn... -- 
P.S.  It's Frothing good to see you back in Jhans...

Silverjerker -- Yes, such a walk in the park that you promptly left the building...  
I will be the first to say that there has been a lull in the killing here as of late, 
though I daresay it has more to do with the commission being a bit over-protective... 
If you are trying to insinuate that we are unable to kill I would suggest you look at 
my Team record...  There are few if any significant Teams with a killing percentage 
like mine, ANYWHERE...  My warriors know well where the soft parts of the human 
anatomy lie, as Halo 14 just found out...  It's really too bad you are too cowardly 
to support your alliance and watch the beauty of your warriors dying by my steel. -- 
P.S.  Morya has an arena?  The commission is truly mad to build in that mudhole...

Chaos -- One and Done?  I didn't even get a chance to make the sands get properly red 
with your blood yet...  I know in instill fear in you lesser people, but I promise I 
will ensure my fighters go easy on you will you establish yourself... -- Mordraith

Jekyll -- Whose disciples hit the floor now? *evil grin* -- Mordraith

Azreal -- You can call me 'Draith...  Seems all my close associates do...  As for the 
challenge I understand completely...  You of course understand why I declined to 
accept that challenge...  I had my eyes on that same prize...  And as with most 
things that I want I took it... -- Mordraith

Bookie -- As strange as it may seem The Chaos Winds both suck and blow... (and spit, 
what talent) -- NBK
P.S.  Mwa-ha-ha see.

Nunzio -- I'm still one step ahead of you my old friend...  This Killing rivalry will 
be most interesting I think... -- Mordraith "The Natural Born Killer"

Matrix -- And you are? -- Mordraith, 5440 or Fight!
P.S.  Bring it punk...

Daddy -- You should quit this fighting business before your little girls become 
orphans... -- Spathic!!

Pink Bear -- You are next on the hit list... -- M. Thrasher

One Armed Bandit -- Nice of you to join us for a few.  See you after the face!  I'll 
be saving a down-challenge just for you!!! ;) -- Bookie

Chaos -- Bow down, boys.  It's time to get serious. -- bookie

Toad -- I have to admit, I am the one who has been slacking with the kill contest 
updates.  I thought I sent it turn before last but obviously I didn't. -- Polarius

Jekyll -- Hmm...maybe I can finally get a bloodfeud to go through.  The last 2 turns 
it certainly hasn't! -- Polarius

Toad -- Bookie isn't a bad guy.  He just has some twisted political views.  If you 
give someone everything and don't make them work for anything they get lazy.  The 
dems don't understand this.  It isn't the government's place to provide for the 
citizens.  It is the government's place to provide an environment for the citizens to 
exercise free markets.  The citizens make up the government.  We should all have 
ambition and not want to rely on government assistance.  I think almost all 
government programs should have a sunset provision.  This would encourage people to 
get out and provide for themselves.  Now some people think I'm cold hearted, but some 
of those same people are buying crack with my tax dollars. -- Polarius

Jhans -- Is it just me or does it seem like Silverstroke is talking his trash from 
the outside of the city gates? -- Polarius

Sir Chester -- I'm not gonna make anymore jokes about your mother.  It just wouldn't 
be right after all of the freebies she gave me. -- Polarius

All -- To those that care...Halo 14 (LU 9-5-17-21-15-6-11 34FE) 160 att, 175 init, 
135 def, 95 dec, 120 rip. +1 init, +2 def, +1 dec, +3 rip, mode elsewhere.  Great 
damage, learned 2.5 skills per, however the 5 con proved to be his downfall.  Had 
very high hopes of a Frosh run after his graduation but that was it.  Yeah, his loss 
stings a little, especially when he was only 2pp away from grad.  That is the nature 
of the beast.  Live by the sword, Die by the sword.  And to top it off, his 
replacement sucked....  Gotta love it. -- Ryan / Jekyll

Mordy =-- Good riddance to Thrasher.  I can't BF upon his graduation, nor do I have 
anyone I'm willing to risk it with... so savor the moment.  I shall get my revenge, 
although it might be petty, it is still a dish best served cold.  Stay on you toes, 
my old nemesis....  Payback will come when you least expect it. -- Jekyll

Polarius -- Well, you don't have to worry about the Bloodfeud vs. Halo any more, so 
the same applies with Trojan....  I will not duck out for a few turns(although I 
can't promise no avoids).  You got 4 turns to enact your revenge... make it count.
-- Jekyll
P.S.  I am not singling you out within the kLk... it just happens to be coincidence 
that your warriors are dying by my Disciples's blades..... just an FYI.

Sylvester -- Glad to be back, although I really haven't gone anywhere, I've just been 
flying under the radar, hopping from town to town, keeping a low profile which I 
realize is extremely difficult for anyone affiliated with The Foundation.  Glad to 
see you and some of the other sloshers coming back to the ole' doomie home arena.  
It's like a dysfunctional family reunion with everyone's favorite Uncle(Charlie that 
is). -- Jekyll

Mordraith -- Welcome back to Jhans. -- Cosmo. F Helter Skelter

Tiki Bob -- Sorry to see you go, but whatever you do...don't show up at the FTF bar.
I'd like to finish my drink before I have to leave. -- Cosmo

M. Thrasher -- I thought your manager might have lost his killing touch during his 
absence...guess you proved that wrong.  Good job. -- Cosmo. F 

Slayin Stayner -- First blood to you in our little "feud."  Congrats. -- Azrael

Nunzio -- Another frothin' rating and you kill my Captain!  It's on now.  Peace. 
(lol) -- Azrael

Shocking Toad -- Boy, I done brought it, sold it to you, got you to give it back and 
then sold it to you again at twice the price.  LOSER. -- Azrael

Chaos -- One turn and gone.  Looks like I don't have to buy those drinks after all. -
- Azrael, cleared out the Chaos before happy hour

Sir Chester -- Sorry to hear about your grandma, but your sister says 'hi.' -- 
Azrael, newly single again

Trojan Man -- 1     S.T.D.s -- 0

Polarius -- Sorry to hear about Tantric. -- Azrael

Blood Man -- Ouch. -- Skirza Slapstick

Wastem Wuornos -- When you get that wound taken care of come over to my place.  I 
want to see if you go down that fast outside the arena. -- Jealousy Rains, new 
Captain Commander of the Fallen and looking for a good time

Death Stryke -- Good fight, sweetie. -- Bang

Pigfeed Picktan -- Guess there had to be one person on your team who could beat me.
-- Devastator

Jhansites -- Those Chaos boys sure broke camp awfully quick didn't they? -- Azrael, 
my bedroom floors' in chaos

Paradox 23 -- I don't see your team on the list.  Who the froth are you and what the 
slosh are you doing talking here with no team? -- Azrael, Lord of the Fallen

Silver Stroker -- If Jhans is so weak, why don't you win the contest and get the 
prizes?  Puto. -- Azrael

Outloud -- Duck Season!!  Wabbit Season!  Duck Season!  Wabbit Season!  Duck...no, 
it's Toad Season!!! -- Azrael

Sylvester -- What the froth do you think "froth this" means?!?  Slosh-head. -- Azrael 
(J.K.) maybe

I got top team again.  I got top team again.  Take That Turtle! -- Az

Bookie -- Brrr (shiver, shiver).  That was cold dude. -- Az
P.S.  I only at the pie once.  Jeesh.

The Dark -- Almost swear you had scouted me.  Next time will be different. -- 
Oblivious of Kamikazi

Slashin Speck -- Damn you're impressive.  Just not impressive enough. -- Reaper of 

Arachne -- Damn good fight.  Let's do it again some time. -- Subzero of Kamikazi

Clutch Shuttle -- Our fight even bored me.  Go away. -- Scorpine of Kamikazi

Azrael -- You're getting too used to my number one spot. -- Turtle

Can I get a KLK KLK BOOM!? -- Turtle

6 May 2004
                                     DEATH FEST

     The ferocious ghosts of former glories whispered across the wind swept sands of
DM 59; agonizing incessantly due to the diminutive demise of the Delarq arena known
as Illis.
     Tattered banners and forgotten memories wailed in the wind for a dynamic death
march to dawn once more upon the blood stained sands of the Delarq slow arena.
     The distant call crying for  a declaration of restoration amidst the ruin of the
all but forgotten Delarq arena carried to the far corners of Alastari; drawing the
Devious, the Diabolical, the Dangerous and the Down Challenging to cross blades and
wage warfare among an assemblage of new stables managed by the Known and Unknown;
willing to spill fresh blood, while carving their destiny during 15 Rounds of contest
driven combat to be known as the "Illis Incredibly Diabolical Delarq Death Fest".
     A lone cloaked figure huddled by lamplight in a remote outpost near the
crossroads of ElseWhere and ElseWhen; feverishly formulating the foundational

framework for the dawning of the Delarq Death Fest in DM 59, complete with
Gladiatorial Commission sanctioned prizes to promote the growing thirst for a Delarq
Slow Arena Death Festival.

     Delarq Death Fest Opening Round debuts the first turn immediately following the
Summer 2004 F2F Tourney and continues through the completion of 15 consecutive
     Death Fest points are Won or Lost ONLY in the DM 59 Delarq Slow Arena [Tourneys
DO NOT Add or Subtract from the Death Fest Point Scoring System]:

Death Fest Scoring Format:
Win =3D +2 pts
Loss =3D -1 pt
Kill =3D +5 pts [in addition to +2 pts for Win]
Death =3D -3 pts [in addition to 1 pt for Loss]
Dark Arena Kill =3D +10 pts [in addition to +2 pts for Win]
Dark Arena Death =3D -5 pts [in addition to 1 pt for Loss]
Revenged Blood Feud =3D +5 pts [successful Revenged Blood Feud provides Death Fest
contestants the opportunity to cancel out 3 pts for Death and 1 pt for Loss; while
gaining +1 pt overall for the Revenged Blood Feud in addition to the +2 pts for Win]

    DEATH FEST PRIZES will be awarded to the Top Ten Death Fest Stables on the basis
of Total Points*** accumulated during the 15 rounds of competition as follows:

1.  Favorite Weapon Knowledge for 1 (one) warrior ranked Initiate or higher on the
Final Round to be revealed by RSI to each of the Top Ten Death Fest Stables
2.  Renaming of Dark Arena Monsters and NPCs [yet to be determined according to how
many DA Monsters and NPCs are available in DM 59 for Renaming]
3.  The Top Five Death Fest Stables will receive New Team Rollup Certificates as
follows:  1st (10), 2nd (8), 3rd (6), 4th (4) and 5th (2)
4.  Renaming Illis Arena for 6 months plus Receiving 6 months Free Play courtesy of
RSI will be awarded to the manager of the 1st Place Death Fest Stable
5.  Discussions are underway regarding a possible Special Award granted to the Illis
Iron Stable qualifiers who compete in 67 of a possible 75 fights during the course of
the 15 consecutive rounds of the Death Fest [Key Factor is How Many (?) stables will
be competing in the Death Fest without drawing away participation by current managers
in the remaining slow arenas!]  Therefore, it is important for all managers entering
stables in DM 59 for the upcoming Death Fest to contact RSI as soon as possible
regarding their participation in this contest so that a Final Ruling on the proposed
Illis Iron Stable Award can be issued by RSI.

***TieBreaker is determined on the Final Round by the DM 59 Newsletter Recognition
Rankings.  The stable with the Highest Ranked Active Gladiator is granted the
decision.  [Example: Warrior A and Warrior B are both listed in the Recognition
Rankings with 87 pts; however, because Warrior A is listed in the Recognition
Rankings ahead of Warrior B, then Warrior A is granted the TieBreaker Decision for
His/Her stable!]

     Opening Round Team Spotlight Bonus [minimum 15 paragraphs!]  Each Delarq Death
Fest competitor who writes a Team Spotlight featuring their Stable (Name) and
Managerial Alias [Gladiatorial Names Optional] in regards to competing in the Delarq
Death Fest will receive 25 pts added to His/Her opening round score.
     Illis Iron Stable Bonus [in addition to the proposed award awaiting RSI
approval!]  Any manager whose stable competes in at least 67 of the possible 75
fights during the 15 rounds of Death Fest receives 25 points added to His/Her final
overall score [this allows each stable the cushion of missing one round of
competition; plus up to 3 additional fights due to waiting for replacement rollups
from Deaths suffered either in Tourneys or during the Death Fest contest in DM 59
over the course of 15 rounds of competition!]

Delarq Death Fest
Hosted by Hammer
[Who Else?]

25 May 2004
                                 TEN TURNS OF HELL:
                        The KLK Capture The Flag Competition

In the spirit of the ongoing effort to make arena play what it used to be (FUN!!), I
am proud to announce the KLK Capture The Flag Competition.  The competition will be
held in Jhans (DM-36, which has, by the way, grown in size equal to Talcama already).
:)  We are announcing this contest early to allow managers time to prep.

     -- On turn 462 (due 8/4/04) the lowest ranked warrior on your team is given your
team's 'flag' (he is your initial flag defender).
     -- Starting on turn 463 (due 8/18/04) flags will be defended every turn and turn
463 is the turn scoring will begin.
     -- Fights involving flags are winners-take-all and a warrior can carry as many
flags as he can win.
     -- If a warrior holding a flag either A) goes inactive, B) loses to a stand-by
warrior or C) gets DA'd, he forfeits all flags he has and they are returned the their
original team's lowest ranked warrior.
     -- If you hold your own flag on an inactive warrior you receive NO POINTS that
     -- If a warrior graduates to AD holding flags starting on the next turn those
flags will be defended by the lowest ranked warrior on the team of the graduating
     -- Scoring as follows for each turn:
          2 pts -- possession of your own team flag
          1 pt -- possession any other flag
          1 pt -- for each win
          1 pt -- for each kill
          1 pt -- for each award you receive in the newsletter
     -- You may enter as many teams as you like (per RSI rules) but each team is its
own entry.
     -- Tie-Breaker goes to the team that had the most points from flags.
     -- If still tied the tie-breaker will be the team that had the most points from
kills.  (It's the Delarq way.)
     -- The contest lasts 10 turns and there will be prizes for 1st, 2nd and 3rd
(based on highest point totals)

Prizes: (what you've been waiting on)
1st -- 3 know favorites potions*
       DA warrior named after winning manager
2nd -- 2 know favorites potions*
3rd -- 1 know favorites potion*

* These are full favorite potions (weapon, rhythms and tactics) and can only be used
on warriors with at least 4 FE.

     How's that for paying out? (grin)  Even if you think that it's all about the TC,
these prizes should be enough to draw you in.  (You know who you are.)
     I hope to see friend and foe alike come to Jhans.  Legion, Froths, and all the
others...this is your personal invite.  Can you win?  Can you survive 10 turns of
Hell in Jhans?
     Note:  Special thanks to RSI for helping make this contest possible.  Thanks

KLK Alliance
Director Jhans' Board of Tourism
Warden of the Froth Circle (grin)
D.R.C. 4 Life

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

CROWLEY was butchered by RIPPLES DORRIGAN in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
REJECT CHAD2 was dealt death by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena duel.
UNION JACK was savagely defeated by TROJAN MAN in a exciting 4 minute Bloodfeud melee.
SKIRZA SLAPSTIK vanquished SLAYIN STAYNER in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud brawl.
SOMATRON was defeated by MOON HUNTRESS in a 3 minute novice's Bloodfeud fight.
MISCOUNT was devastated by OBLIVIOUS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
PINK BEAR bested M. THRASHER in a 6 minute master's Challenge Title match.
KERRY BEAR was handily defeated by KATHLEEN in a 1 minute uneven Challenge melee.
SYPHILIS viciously subdued THE DARK in a popular 3 minute gruesome Challenge duel.
MARCIE was vanquished by BADDA BAMM in a exciting 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
REAPER overcame PIGFEED PICKTAN in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
JEALOUSY RAINS was overpowered by ARACHNE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
THE LAST TRUMP devastated PROWLER in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
BADDA BANG demolished WASTEM WUORNOS in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
CONFESSION was overpowered by KRUNK MONKEY in a 1 minute Challenge conflict.
ANOTHER BLANKEE overpowered GAMBIT in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
SPATHIC was bested by STRAW GOLEM in a exciting 3 minute beginner's Challenge duel.
RUH-ROH, RHAGGY was bested by BROWN KITTY TOO in a 1 minute bloody Challenge brawl.
BLACKJACK assassinated DADDY in a 1 minute brutal one-sided Challenge bout.
TANYA was savagely defeated by MONKEY SHINE in a 3 minute novice's Challenge match.
GENITAL WARTS delivered the death blow upon ABIGAIL in a 2 minute Challenge contest.
MELISSA was overpowered by DEVASTATOR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
MANICOUAGAN was savagely defeated by DONNA in a action packed 1 minute expert's fray.
BLOOD MOON was overpowered by GHETTO KING in a 1 minute one-sided match.
HANGING was savagely defeated by CANIS LUPUS in a 2 minute gory veteran's duel.
HUGGY BEAR won victory over CONVICTED ASSASSIN in a popular 1 minute fight.
SHADOW STARR was demolished by SLASHIN' SPECK in a 1 minute one-sided melee.
SUBZERO was handily defeated by KILL'EM KREPP in a 1 minute uneven bout.
PRINCE OF LIES was beaten by CLUTCH SHUTTLE in a 2 minute competition.
BATTERING RAM lost to SCORPINE in a popular 3 minute bout.
SPEKTER overpowered DRIVER in a 1 minute uneven duel.
FUNKY COLD MEDINA was overpowered by SNOW CRASH in a 1 minute one-sided match.
LUCKY STRIKE overpowered SEXY COW in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
ATOMIC ORANGE was beaten by QUEEN SLEEZ in a exciting 1 minute beginner's bout.
HEPCAT was devastated by DISCHORDIA in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
POCOHONTAS was bested by GITO GITO HUSTLER in a 2 minute novice's battle.
RIZZLE-DIZZLE bested BIG LOU in a 3 minute beginner's bout.
DIMPLED overpowered DONNA THE HUNTRESS in a 3 minute one-sided match.
DANCING BONES was unbelievably bested by THE BEAST in a 4 minute beginner's match.
FLYING BLADE vanquished AVERAGE JOE in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
HOT MAMA was demolished by HAY RIDE in a 3 minute uneven competition.
ELECTROMIC was overpowered by PIXIE DUST in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
COSMIC TRIGGER vanquished ROUGH RIDER in a 1 minute brutal mismatched duel.
FNORD handily defeated CHICKEN TENDER in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
MORAXX was overpowered by FRENCH HAMSTER in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
THE LAMB was handily defeated by BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO in a 1 minute mismatched melee.
LULLABI was murdered by A HORSE in a 1 minute one-sided match.
SILICON CARNE was demolished by SANDPAPER CONDOM in a 1 minute uneven fight.
GOAT CHEESE was killed by JU JITSU in a 1 minute beginner's bout.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  30         WALL OF STEEL     35 -  15 -  1      70  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 14         TOTAL PARRY       44 -  24 -  0      65  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 10         BASHING ATTACK    39 -  35 -  2      53  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    9         LUNGING ATTACK   102 - 113 - 10      47  |
|AIMED BLOW                       8         STRIKING ATTACK   44 -  50 -  8      47  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      7         AIMED BLOW        11 -  25 -  1      31  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   6         SLASHING ATTACK   17 -  39 -  3      30  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   5 -  0      29  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         PARRY-STRIKE       4 -  18 -  0      18  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -  15 -  0      17  |

Turn 457 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      7 -  2     AIMED BLOW         3 -  5         5  WALL OF STEEL  
TOTAL PARRY        5 -  2     STRIKING ATTACK    5 -  9         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK    16 - 14     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  2         1  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-LUNGE        2 -  2     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  4         1  BASHING ATTACK 
SLASHING ATTACK    5 -  5     
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  3     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
WALL OF STEEL    PINK BEAR 5883             19  10  1  112 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
LUNGING ATTACK   DONNA 5966                  9   6  0   97 BABES (416)
BASHING ATTACK   HUGGY BEAR 6002            11   4  0   71 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
STRIKING ATTACK  KERRY BEAR 3994            10   9  0   64 BLITZKRIEG (271)
TOTAL PARRY      UNION JACK 6015            12   1  0   63 BLITZKRIEG (271)
AIMED BLOW       ARACHNE 5712                5   4  0   43 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
PARRY-LUNGE      SPEKTER 4921                4   3  0   41 KARNIVORZ (455)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is KERRY BEAR 3994.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was TROJAN MAN 5710.  The ten other most popular fighters were SOMATRON 6143, DANCING 

The least popular fighter this week was GOAT CHEESE 6302.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were SILICON CARNE 6298, LULLABI 6297, THE LAMB 6293, MORAXX 6292, 
6146, and DONNA THE HUNTRESS 6307.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

KATHLEEN (36-5865) BABES (416)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

M. THRASHER (36-5312) 5440 OR FIGHT! (336)

                  MAIL-IN TOURNEY XXXVII

PRIMUS TOURNEY                         W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
MAIMED 2213 (163-116-18)               7  3  0         THE HURT             
DOTH DRAGONMERE 1257 (82-51-4)         2  3  0         NETHER WARRIORS      
OUTSIDER 4797 (59-29-3)                2  3  0         WOLF PACK            
THE TENDERIZER 1301 (67-49-1)          0  5  0         FUN WITH FRIEND      

CONTENDERS TOURNEY                     W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
SHOTGUN FUNGUS 3055 (64-44-0)          4  3  0         HELTER SKELTER       

ELIGIBLES TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
GORDON 4536 (51-19-1)                  5  3  0         BARNYARD BRUTES      

CHALLENGERS TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
WHIRLING STARFISH 5250 (4-0-0)         5  3  0         STARFISH OF DOOM     
POSTMASTER P 5182 (20-11-0)            3  3  0         HELTER SKELTER       
JETS TO BRAZIL 5604 (11-4-0)           2  3  0         SKATE DRAGONS        

ADEPTS TOURNEY                         W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
DONNA 5966 (6-6-0)                     9  3  0         BABES                

INITIATES TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
TANTRIC 6036 (5-5-1)                   5  3  0         BLITZKRIEG           
MARCIE 6076 (4-3-1)                    4  3  0         BABES                
MR. ANDERSON 6043 (4-2-0)              4  3  0         THE MATRIX           
BLUEBEARD 6029 (1-0-0)                 3  3  0         SUPERIOR HORDE 196L  
UNION JACK 6015 (10-0-0)               3  3  0         BLITZKRIEG           
SPEKTER 4921 (3-2-0)                   2  3  0         KARNIVORZ            

APPRENTICES TOURNEY                    W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
BROWN KITTY TOO 6118 (2-2-1)           2  3  1         LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... 
CHIEF BLING-BLING$ 6091 (1-3-0)        2  3  0         THE DREAMING         

ROOKIES TOURNEY                        W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
MISCOUNT 6090 (0-0-0)                  8  3  0         THE CHADS            
QUEEN SLEEZ 6142 (0-0-0)               4  3  0         FORTIFEX             
SOMATRON 6143 (0-0-0)                  2  3  1         FORTIFEX             
DARK ARENA 4654 (0-0-0)                0  1  0  DEAD   THE CRIMSON TIDE     

ELIGIBLES FOOLS TOURNEY                W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
ERIC THE RED 399 (44-28-0)             0  3  0         THE COLORED PEOPLE   
WICKEDSTONE 221 (55-33-0)              0  3  0         NETHER WARRIORS      

ADM FOOLS TOURNEY                      W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
BLONDIE 5723 (20-18-1)                 0  3  0         BABES                

CHALLENGERS FOOL TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
HANGING 5507 (11-4-0)                  2  3  0         THE CHADS            

CHAMPIONS FOOLS TOURNEY                W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
HALO 14 5711 (13-9-2)                  1  3  0         BLIND HYPOCRISY      

INITIATES FOOLS TOURNEY                W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO 6085 (4-3-2)         0  3  0         SUICIDAL DREAMS      
DRIPS 6066 (5-3-0)                     0  3  0         STDS                 
FROSTY MCCLOUD 6086 (3-4-0)            0  3  0  DEAD   SUICIDAL DREAMS      

APPRENTICES FOOL TOURNEY               W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
CLUTCH SHUTTLE 6060 (3-1-0)            0  3  0         HELTER SKELTER       
I'M ON COKE 3100 (0-0-0)               0  3  0         FIZZIN' OUT          

ROOKIES FOOLS TOURNEY                  W  L  K         TEAM NAME            
MONKEY SHINE 5927 (0-0-0)              3  3  0         HELTER SKELTER       
HOT MAMA 6149 (0-0-0)                  0  3  0         BABES