DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 07/08/2004    Duedate: 07/21/2004

JHANS ARENA

DM-36    TURN-460

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

POSTMASTER P
HELTER SKELTER (256)
(36-5182) [21-11-0,143]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

POSTMASTER P                   ... A HORSE
HELTER SKELTER (256)           PORN IN A BARN (551)
(36-5182) [21-11-0,143]        (36-6304) [3-1-1,34]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

TROJAN MAN                     SLASHIN' SPECK
BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)          ANARKYSTS (341)
(36-5710) [13-6-3,75]          (36-5854) [7-15-1,37]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. ALMOST! (316)               55
2. PAST TENSE (28)             37      THE CHADS (482)
3. THE DREAMING (529)          34      Unchartered Team
4. BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)      29
5. WOLFCATS (556)              29      WOLFCATS (556)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*WOLFCATS (556)             1   0  0  100   1/ 1 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515)  9  4 2
 2/19*SUPERIOR HORDE 196 (528)   2   1  0 66.7   2- 2 REVELATION (543)          8  2 0
 3- 1 REVELATION (543)          99  58  6 63.1   3/ 4 KAMIKAZI (533)            8  6 2
 4/ 2 THE CHADS (482)           76  47  3 61.8   4- 5 BLITZKRIEG (271)          7  3 1
 5/ 3 KAMIKAZI (533)            35  23  3 60.3   5/ 3 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     7  8 0
 6/ 6 QUEBEC (461)              10   7  0 58.8   6/16 THE DREAMING (529)        6  2 2
 7- 4*THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)     7   5  1 58.3   7/18 ALMOST! (316)             6  4 0
 8/ 5 ALMOST! (316)             48  35  2 57.8   8/13 CLAN BATTLEAXE II (550)   6  8 0
 9/ 7 5440 OR FIGHT! (336)     226 191 35 54.2   9/11 ANARKYSTS (341)           6  9 0
10/ 8 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     56  49  7 53.3  10/17 PAST TENSE (28)           5  2 1
11- 9*TWISTED (548)              8   7  0 53.3  11/10*PORN IN A BARN (551)      5 10 0
12-11 CLAN BATTLEAXE (347)      32  29  3 52.5  12/ 8 5440 OR FIGHT! (336)      4  3 0
13-13 BABES (416)              213 197  7 52.0  13- 6*TWISTED (548)             4  6 0
14/12 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     46  43  5 51.7  14/ 9*MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)    4  9 2
15/14 CLAN BATTLEAXE II (550)  156 147  8 51.5  15/12 THE FALLEN (524)          4 11 1
16/17 PAST TENSE (28)           35  33  1 51.5  16/31*BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)    3  5 0
17/15 HELTER SKELTER (256)     497 474 29 51.2  17/15 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     3  8 0
18-16 BLITZKRIEG (271)         147 141 14 51.0  18-22*THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)    2  2 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/20 THE FALLEN (524)          42  47  2 47.2  19/24*MY BEST BUDS (505)        2  3 0
20/25 THE DREAMING (529)        22  25  3 46.8  20-25 CLAN BATTLEAXE (347)      2  3 0
21/23 ANARKYSTS (341)          318 376 34 45.8  21-14 BABES (416)               2  5 0
22/24 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515)  70  83 12 45.8  22/19 THE CHADS (482)           2  6 0
23/26*MY BEST BUDS (505)         5   8  0 38.5  23-27*PB OR NOT PB (549)        2  6 0
24/34*BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)     3   5  0 37.5  24/28*FORTIFEX (540)            2  8 0
25/28*MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)    10  18  4 35.7  25/26 ERRATA (490)              2  9 0
26/27*PORN IN A BARN (551)       7  13  1 35.0  26/ 0*WOLFCATS (556)            1  0 0
27/29 ERRATA (490)              19  44  1 30.2  27/36*SUPERIOR HORDE 196 (528)  1  1 0
28-32*PB OR NOT PB (549)         2   6  0 25.0  28/21 HELTER SKELTER (256)      1  1 0
29/30*FORTIFEX (540)             4  13  0 23.5  29/35 QUEBEC (461)              1  1 0
30-33*NORTHSIDE BULLOCKS (552)   1   4  0 20.0  30-30*NORTHSIDE BULLOCKS (552)  1  4 0
31/ 0*SPACE WOLVES (523)         0   5  0  0.0  31/ 0*SPACE WOLVES (523)        0  5 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

GLADIATORS OF JHANS, SWORDS HIGH!  ALL HAIL SHOCKING TOAD, VICTOR OF THE FIRST ANNUAL
kLk KILL CONTEST!

Final Tally:  Shocking Toad 5 kills
              Bookie 4 kills

It was a tough fight and a fun contest.  I think the personal ads between these two
were more fierce than the arena fights!  Again, congrats to Toad.  Please contact
Sandy to rename the dark arena warrior.  Remember, everyone, the Capture the Flag
contest starts right after the face.

Polarius

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Out of the Past #9 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
                                   Delarquan Edition

Old Valamantis and away:

     Smeds and Shamu didn't wait for the others to solve THEIR problems, they set out
for the mountains and Khalhums, by way of Mordant and Caer, hitching a ride on a
wagon full of tanned hides.
     Shamu sprawled on the pile of leather and grimaced as the wagon jolted into and
out of a pothole.  Both Dwarves bounced and rolled.  "This is just about
unacceptable."
     "It could be worse," Smeds offered.  "They could be GREEN hides instead of
tanned ones!"
     "Yuck," the Cliffhomer said absently.  "But that wasn't what I meant--the road.
How can we expect to send dozens, maybe even scores of wagons over a road like this?
They'd be shaken to bits if they hurried, and the ice would melt if they didn't."
     "These are the roads we've got to work with," Smeds answered.  "And they aren't
THAT bad."  An especially deep set of ruts sent them bounding wildly over the back of
the wagon.  "Okay, maybe they ARE that bad, but they're STILL the roads we have to
work with."  He was silent for a moment, then shrugged--and grabbed for the side of
the wagon as it rocked and tilted over more ruts.  "This wouldn't be so bad if we
hadn't had two weeks of rain to make really big muddy ruts, and then a couple of
months dry, you know.  Maybe if it rains again--"
     "Oh, joy, wagons stuck in the mud from Khalhums to Valamantis."  Shamu frowned
at the road and at the forest passing on the left (the Feyranse River was on the
right).  There was nothing like a technical problem to get a Dwarf thinking.  "We
need to corduroy the road.  There are trees enough.  Organize parties to work out of
Mordant in both directions, and the road might be passable by the time the ice wagons
are coming down."
     "A corduroy road won't last," Smeds warned, "not where the ground's as wet as it
is here.  The logs will rot."
     "It'll last all summer, at least, and that's all we need.  If we haven't gotten
enough cold water to Old Valamantis to wash out those bloodstains by then, we're
going to be in too much trouble to worry about the road."
     Smeds sighed and then laughed.  "I can't BELIEVE we're taking Debby Tonte's
advice on this!"
     "Well, nobody else had any suggestions at all."

     Nobody paid attention to them when they entered the resurrected city of Old
Valamantis, but that wasn't reassuring.  There were a lot of people around, more than
they'd expected, and somebody SHOULD be paying attention.
     "It's a trap," Ka D'Argo muttered.  "They know something we don't.  Something
that means we're walking right into the frying pan."
     "So what?" Goblin asked.  "We know something THEY don't, too.  Something that
means anybody who attacks US is in for a really big surprise."  The Kaltosian
gladiator fingered his sword and bared his pointed teeth in a hungry grin.  "I hope
they start something SOON."
     "I don't," Sputter grumbled.  "Better to put off till tomorrow the blows you can
avoid today.  And spells are even worse."
     "They won't attack us until we get near the arena," Tensekai said.  The Silver
Mage squinted at the sky, which was a dome of glaring white haze, and then at the
battered wall of the Bloodgames arena looming over the lesser structures a mile away.
"Okay, they might attack physically before then, but...I think they'd rather have our
blood spilled close to the center of their spell-working."
     "So our blood can feed their spells, too?  Great, just great.  What I always
wanted to do," Lavender Lance said.  She sighed heavily.  "And I'm SURE they won't
appreciate us properly."  She drew herself up into a stance that had made more than
one male gladiator falter at the wrong moment as pearly flesh strained against violet
lace.  "I've heard that wizards are BLIND to the finer nuances."
     Tensekai coughed and wrenched his gaze away, blushing.  "Not all of us," he said
in a strangled voice.  "Not...BLIND, anyway."

     "I really don't think we should be doing this," Alta Chess muttered.  She looked
back over her shoulder at the patchwork wall of modern Valamantis longingly.  "I
don't WANT to be doing this...."
     "Nonsense!  Don't be such a coward, Alta," Chip Enser said.  "This is ADVENTURE.
Things are HAPPENING in Old Valamantis.  Do you want to be nothing more than a
SPECTATOR?"
     "Wizard things," his teammate countered.  "And what do we know about wizard
stuff?  Yeah, I'd lots rather be just a spectator.  Lots rather."
     "There's gladiators involved in this; it isn't ALL wizards.  And not all of them
are Lord Protectors, either."  Chip sighed ostentatiously.  "I suppose I couldn't
expect better from a GIRL.  But we can at least get close enough to WATCH, can't we?"

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 499): TALON of FLOYDS FAN CLUB (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 384): TOOFLESS of GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 504): GRAPH of GAMES LIBRARY (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 500): STANLEY'S CUP of SPORTZ! (Guardian, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 499): HOWLER of THE TAKEN (Silver Stroke, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 503): ZEP of IRON BROTHERS (Dan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 500): TASTY HANGNAIL of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 495): QUIETUS of QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 486): PURPLE FIREFISH of BIG MEAN FISH (Big Wave Dave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 485): SYRANO BLOODBANE of THE BLOODBANES (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 459): PINK BEAR of LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (Shocking Toad, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 450): STEVEN SCIMITAR of EAGLES CLAW (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 196): DUCK TAPE of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 437): STUPID SEXY FLANDERS of I'M SO SEXY (Muffy, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 385): APPLE of FRUITS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 183): LAWYER of PLAGUES (Abarsis, the Slaughter Priest, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 171): HOFFA WITH HAIR of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 335): YOU of SRETSAMLEUD (Phat Phat, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 148): CANNONBALL of X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 378): SLEEPLESS PARANOIA of PARENTHOOD from DWES EG (TUM)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 499): CLAN BATTLEAXE (Mithril, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 384): GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 504): AESIR (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 500): none
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 499): THE TAKEN (Silver Stroke, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 503): BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 500): WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 495): CLAN BATTLEAXE (Mithril, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 486): CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 485): CARNAGE CANARIES (Carnage Canary, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 459): LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (Shocking Toad, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 450): EAGLES CLAW (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 196): ATMAN PROJECT (Kosmos, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 437): HIGHER PURPOSE (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 385): ALL-UGLY TEAM (The Sentinel, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 183): USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 171): THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 335): SRETSAMLEUD (Phat Phat, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 148): X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 378): BLACK PRIMERS, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 384): ONE BROW of GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 504): HARALDUR of AESIR (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 503): ZEP of IRON BROTHERS (Dan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 499): PTI of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 495): SULTAN OF SWING of TERRAPIN STATION (Floyd, mgr.)
               (turn 494): LENNY BAXTER of TOWNSVILLAINS (The Narrator, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 485): SYRANO BLOODBANE of THE BLOODBANES (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 459): PINK BEAR of LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (Shocking Toad, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 196): MISS CON DUCK of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 437): EL RIPPOFF of DELVERS (Nick, mgr.)
               (turn 436): GUNSLINGER of KING'S KREW (King Ralph, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 182): MERGEN of THE BLACK COMPANY (Woelfe, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 171): HOFFA WITH HAIR of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 147): 2 PHAT of VERMIN (Sultan, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Well it's done.  I've achieved immortality and Kizzy is thrilled.  My favorites are
kind of lame but coming out of a tough arena like this at 21-10-1 speaks for itself.
I'm gonna say goodbye now and let Mr. Toad spew for a few.  Sorry, but he IS the
manager.

Thanks, Pink Bear.  I'm gonna take a few moments to write why I back Bush.  I am not
a blood red Republican, heck, I was a Libertarian until just after 9-11.  What I've
learned is that we must find the issues that matter most to us and vote on those
issues.  Well, for me there are 4 main issues:

1) Terrorism and National Security.  Seeing that John Kerry wanted UNILATERAL Nuclear
disarmament in the early 80's and that he voted against NUMEROUS military weapon
systems including the B-1, B-2, Patriot Anti-Missile System, Apache, and so on,  I
don't trust him with my families safety.  To boot, and conclude on this, as of 3
weeks ago John Kerry stated he wanted to treat Terrorists as criminals, not enemy
soldiers.  This is what Clinton did and we see where that got us--Kobar Towers,
African Embassies, U.S.S. Cole, and two hits on the Twin Towers.  Insanity is doing
the same thing over and over but expecting a different result.  If we were not in
Iraq we'd have dead Americans in Brooklyn and Boston rather than dead soldiers in
Baquoba and Baghdad.  We've been safe for 3 years thanks to George W. Bush and I'll
stick with him.

2) Israel.  No American President has done more and been a better friend to Israel
than George W. Bush.  Land for Peace failed with Sadat.  It failed at Oslo.  It will
fail today.  Bush is tough and I respect that.  Israel deserves PEACE as do we.
Peace through strength!  For the record John Kerry told Muslims in Dearborn, MI one
thing and Jews another in New York.  He wanted to appoint rabidly Anti-Israel folks
such as James Baker and Jimmy Carter as envoys.  Kerry has no clue about Israel as
shown by these two actions.

3) Gun Rights.  The Second Amendment exists for the citizenry to protect themselves
from THE GOVERNMENT, not other citizens.  Cities with Right to Carry laws are safer
than those without.  All animals have a right to self defense.  John Kerry wants to
take this away.  He's backed EVERY anti-gun law for the past 20 years including the
failed Clinton Gun Ban of 1994.  Seriously, Kerry wants people to REGISTER WITH THE
FEDERAL GOVERNMENT WHEN THEY BUY AMMUNITION.  See the history of governments that
oppress the people.  The first thing the ALL do is disarm the populace.

4) Social Security.  This is a FAILED System but John Kerry wants to throw good money
after bad.  LET MY PEOPLE GO!  Let us save for ourselves.  I'd be willing to let
people who WANT Social Security to join the program VOLUNTARILY.  Today it's
mandatory.  The Government forces ALL WORKERS to give up 12.6% of their salary to
Social Security (6.3% employee and 6.3% employer).  Don't force me any longer.  I'd
give up 100% of what I've given so far just to be freed.  George W. Bush wants
private accounts for a small percentage of our Social Security obligation.  It is NOT
enough but it is a start.  John Kerry doesn't want to CHANGE A THING.

That's it, folks.  I've spoken my piece with facts and honesty.  These are the issues
important to me and this is why I will vote for George W. Bush.

Shocking Toad

                                      SPY REPORT

     Busy, busy, busy, lots of things happening in JHANS this turn, and let's start 
with a look at some of the teams.  I understand that Lucas Lounge is buying the 
drinks for ALMOST! tonight, to honor their rise to 7th after this turns 3-2-0.  Hmmm. 
I want to know who's buying the drinks for who tonight at Lucas Lounge, seeing as 
BOOKIE'S BROTHEL's 3-5-0 has earned them 16th place in the ranks.  Now keep the 
taverns open late tonight, for there are sorrows to drown for TWISTED, whose 0-0-0 
this turn dropped them by 7 into 13th.  And let's see, TIGERWOLF fought NEW RED 
BLANKET and gained 29 points and contributed to WOLFCATS' 1-0-0.... A HORSE has lost 
to MISERY, falling 16 points, while helping make PORN IN A BARN a 1-4-0 turn.  HUGGY 
BEAR challenged for the Duelmastership this turn, attempting to dethrone LITTLE GIRLS 
LIKE...'s warrior.  Defending hers title for another turn, PINK BEAR kept SUICIDAL 
DREAMS' warrior, HUGGY BEAR, from claiming the throne.  Can someone confirm a rumor 
for me?  I hear the top team makes their losing fighters do dishes at Lucas Lounge 
until they win.  Maybe?   
     He who challenges well, fights well.  He who avoids without cause, shall lose 
for good reasons.  My mama told me that one.  I also notice that the LITTLE GIRLS 
LIKE... stable was the most avoided team this turn.  Come on JHANS, what are you 
afraid of?  And guess who avoided LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... stable the most?  Believe it 
or not, it was SUICIDAL DREAMS.  Anyone surprised?  The most challenged warrior this 
turn was ANARKYSTS' warrior SLASHIN' SPECK.  More fighters challenged him than 
challenged the Duelmaster!  Well now, what do you expect when someone like POSTMASTER 
P from HELTER SKELTER challenges down 39 points to fight MORACH RAZH of CLAN 
BATTLEAXE II?  It pains me to see warriors take advantage of the system like this.  
POSTMASTER P defeated MORACH RAZH, as if it surprises anyone.  Tsk, tsk, tsk.  BADDA 
BAMM, does your manager know you're challenging down 21 points to fight BROWN KITTY 
TOO from LITTLE GIRLS LIKE...?  I thought challenges were for warriors, not cowards 
looking for easy wins.  BADDA BAMM defeated BROWN KITTY TOO, is nothing sacred?   
     We only live a short time in this world, so why not take a sharp blade, and 
shave it close?  Had I not seen it, it would be hard to believe.  TEN PACKS A DAY was 
sent to the Dark Arena and lived to tell about it!  Makes you think, no?  Lucas 
Lounge declares a free round for TROJAN MAN and all of BLIND HYPOCRISY, for having 
revenged KAMIKAZI's DRIVER for killing one of their comrades.  We'd like to remind 
certain teams not to rob the graves of their enemies.  You know who you are; and it's 
considered rude.   
     I like this place, JHANS, the taverns have old wine, and young serving girls.  
Who could ask for more?  It's been nice chatting with you, until we meet again, keep 
your swords sharp and your hammers heavy.  Until you see my quill in JHANS again, 
farewell-- Alarond the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 POSTMASTER P 5182            21  11  0   143       HELTER SKELTER (256)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DONNA 5966                   10   6  0   103       BABES (416)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HANGING 5507                 11   5  0    90       THE CHADS (482)
 MORACH RAZH 6239             14  13  0    89       CLAN BATTLEAXE II (550)
 HUGGY BEAR 6002              12   6  0    88       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 MANICOUAGAN 4966              9   4  0    83       QUEBEC (461)
-OBLIVIOUS 6101                9   1  0    80       KAMIKAZI (533)
 TROJAN MAN 5710              13   6  3    75       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 HUNGOVER 3723                13   3  0    74       ALMOST! (316)
-BLOOD MOON 6175               9   5  0    74       REVELATION (543)
-KERRY BEAR 3994              11  10  1    70       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-UNION JACK 6015              14   1  0    67       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 CY 6234                       7   3  0    67       CLAN BATTLEAXE II (550)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BADDA BANG 6013               7   9  0    66       THE FALLEN (524)
 SKIRZA SLAPSTIK 5996         12   6  0    63       THE FALLEN (524)
 PSYCHO PROCTOLOGIST 3675     11   9  2    63       ALMOST! (316)
 BADDA BAMM 6075               8   6  0    63       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 SLAYIN STAYNER 5891           9   3  1    61       ANARKYSTS (341)
 GROPING CHICKENS 3972         4   1  0    60       ALMOST! (316)
 REAPER 6150                   6   1  0    58       KAMIKAZI (533)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KILL'EM KREPP 5892            9   3  0    56       ANARKYSTS (341)
 DRIVER 6055                   7   5  2    56       KAMIKAZI (533)
 MISERY 6232                   7   2  0    55       CLAN BATTLEAXE II (550)
 TITANIC 178                   9   7  0    48       PAST TENSE (28)
-MARCIE 6076                   4   8  1    43       BABES (416)
 SHAWNDA 6032                  6   4  1    42       THE DREAMING (529)
 DEVASTATOR 6079               7   7  0    39       THE FALLEN (524)
 ANOTHER BLANKEE 6117          5   5  0    39       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 SHADOW STARR 5999             8  10  1    37       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 SLASHIN' SPECK 5854           7  15  1    37       ANARKYSTS (341)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 CLURACAN 6035                 8   2  0    36       THE DREAMING (529)
-KRUNK MONKEY 5939             2   2  0    36       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
-THE LAST TRUMP 6173           7   2  1    34       REVELATION (543)
 SCORPINE 6119                 7   3  0    34       KAMIKAZI (533)
 ... A HORSE 6304              3   1  1    34       PORN IN A BARN (551)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ILSARIA 4004                  4   1  0    33       CLAN BATTLEAXE (347)
 BLUEBEARD 6029                2   1  0    33       SUPERIOR HORDE 196L (528)
 TEN PACKS A DAY 6346          1   0  1    33       PAST TENSE (28)
 BROWN KITTY TOO 6118          5   5  1    31       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 CHIEF BLING-BLING$ 6091       2   5  0    31       THE DREAMING (529)
 FURIOUS INHALER 4047          1   1  0    31       ALMOST! (316)
-COSMIC TRIGGER 6215           3   0  0    30       TWISTED (548)
-THE LAMB 6293                 2   1  0    30       REVELATION (543)
 PIGFEED PICKTAN 6124          7   3  0    29       ANARKYSTS (341)
-CLUTCH SHUTTLE 6060           4   2  0    29       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 GITO GITO HUSTLER 6291        3   0  0    29       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
 TIGERWOLF 6366                1   0  0    29       WOLFCATS (556)
 SUBZERO 6120                  6   4  1    28       KAMIKAZI (533)
 THE LOVE BELOW 6187           3   0  1    28       THE DREAMING (529)
-FUNKY COLD MEDINA 6154        2   4  0    28       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-MISCOUNT 6090                 1   3  0    28       THE CHADS (482)
-PRINCE OF LIES 6171           5   4  0    27       REVELATION (543)
-MORVAANA 4002                 4   2  0    27       CLAN BATTLEAXE (347)
-BLACKJACK 6163                3   1  2    27       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
-LUCA 4653                     2   1  0    27       THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)
 SCRAGGLE ROCK 6310            3   1  1    25       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
-INDESTRUCTIBLE IV 1350        2   2  0    24       PAST TENSE (28)
-OPHELIAROG 6222               1   1  0    24       PB OR NOT PB (549)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PALADIN 5410                  4   6  0    23       ERRATA (490)
-OBSIDIA 4001                  3   1  1    23       CLAN BATTLEAXE (347)
-THE BEAST 6296                3   0  0    23       REVELATION (543)
 HAY RIDE 6305                 3   1  0    21       PORN IN A BARN (551)
-ROUGH RIDER 6295              2   1  0    21       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 SKUNK #1 5719                 3   3  0    20       MY BEST BUDS (505)
 SOMATRON 6143                 2   2  0    19       FORTIFEX (540)
 DIMPLED 5776                  5   3  0    18       THE CHADS (482)
-YERN'N FER'N URN 1508         2   2  0    18       PAST TENSE (28)
-CAVEMAN 4652                  1   2  0    18       THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)
 P.R.U.W. 6328                 2   0  0    17       BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)
-SPATHIC 6189                  2   2  0    17       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
-MONKEY SHINE 5927             2   0  0    17       HELTER SKELTER (256)
-SUZIE SHORT 6317              1   0  0    16       NORTHSIDE BULLOCKS (552)
 MORAXX 6292                   1   2  0    16       FORTIFEX (540)
-THAI-STICK 5720               2   0  0    15       MY BEST BUDS (505)
-JACK RIPPER 4651              2   1  1    14       THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)
-DISCHORDIA 6216               2   1  0    14       TWISTED (548)
 CLOVER 5959                   2   7  0    13       ERRATA (490)
 JEALOUSY STARR 6378           1   0  0    13       BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)
 PIXIE DUST 6308               3   1  0    12       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
-FRANKENSLOSH 5901             3   1  0    11       HELTER SKELTER (256)
-CORDELLIAROG 6225             1   1  0    11       PB OR NOT PB (549)
 BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO 6309        3   1  0    10       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
-RIZZLE-DIZZLE 5923            3   1  0    10       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
 WASTEM WUORNOS 6123           0  10  0    10       ANARKYSTS (341)
 SANDPAPER CONDOM 6311         2   2  1     9       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
-FRENCH HAMSTER 6294           2   1  0     9       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 GAMBIT 6161                   1   5  1     9       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
-FNORD 6217                    2   1  0     8       TWISTED (548)
 PROBLEM 5977                  2   1  0     7       ERRATA (490)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-LEOTSU 4655                   2   1  0     7       THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)
 JEALOUSY RAINS 6380           1   0  1     7       THE FALLEN (524)
-DECAIRA 4005                  1   3  0     6       CLAN BATTLEAXE (347)
 NEW RED BLANKET 6338          1   1  1     5       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 DONNA THE HUNTRESS 6307       0   4  0     4       THE FALLEN (524)
 DIVIT 5974                    0   3  0     3       ERRATA (490)
-HAMLETROG 6227                0   2  0     2       PB OR NOT PB (549)
-BRUTUSROG 6226                0   2  0     2       PB OR NOT PB (549)
-BENNY LANG 6315               0   1  0     1       NORTHSIDE BULLOCKS (552)
-LUMINARIE 6354                0   1  0     1       TWISTED (548)
-RUTTIN BIGGS 6316             0   1  0     1       NORTHSIDE BULLOCKS (552)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
JUJU HAND 6348         0  2 0 5440 OR FIGHT! 336    THE LOVE BELOW 6187   460         
DORK 6365              0  1 0 ALMOST! 316           SUPERIOR MANAGER 22   460 NONE    
TURTLE SOUP 6387       0  1 0 BLIND HYPOCRISY 504   WURM KIN 27           460 NONE    
ARACHNE 5712           6  5 0 BLIND HYPOCRISY 504   DRIVER 6055           459 JUST REV
CONFESSION 6003        6  6 0 BLIND HYPOCRISY 504   SHAWNDA 6032          459         
TANTRIC 6036           6  6 1 BLITZKRIEG 271        TROJAN MAN 5710       456 NOT REVE
NURSE STEELE 6377      0  1 0 BOOKIE'S BROTHEL 554  BLACK ORC 20          460 NONE    
W 6379                 0  1 0 THE CHADS 482         RILLION 21            460 NONE    
ALDRAS 6397            0  1 0 CLAN BATTLEAXE II 550 BANDIT PRINCE 25      460 NONE    
RILLION 21             0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          TEN PACKS A DAY 6346  460 NONE    
FODDER 6384            0  1 0 ERRATA 490            SUPERIOR MANAGER 22   460 NONE    
RAVAGE 5993            8  6 0 THE FALLEN 524        SLAYIN STAYNER 5891   456 JUST REV
STICK-A-KLK 6385       0  1 0 FORTIFEX 540          MOUNTAIN TROLL 18     460 NONE    
QUEEN SLEEZ 6142       1  2 0 FORTIFEX 540          SUBZERO 6120          460         
QUAGULA 6386           0  1 0 FORTIFEX 540          JEALOUSY RAINS 6380   460         
LONGSHOT 6299          0  1 0 HELTER SKELTER 256    HIGH ELF 19           460 NONE    
DADDY 6153             1  2 1 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE 515 BLACKJACK 6163        457         
RUH-ROH, RHAGGY 6193   1  4 0 MEMPHIS MAFIA II 542  RILLION 21            460 NONE    
WILLY'S WONDER 5717    0  2 0 MY BEST BUDS 505      SANDPAPER CONDOM 6311 458 REVENGED
AMANDA LEWIS 6313      0  1 0 NORTHSIDE BULLOCK 552 NEW RED BLANKET 6338  459         
COCKROACH VI 6362      1  1 0 PORN IN A BARN 551    SUPERIOR MANAGER 22   460 NONE    
COCKROACH VII 6371     0  1 0 PORN IN A BARN 551    BLACK ORC 20          460 NONE    
COCKROACH VIII 6372    0  1 0 PORN IN A BARN 551    RILLION 21            460 NONE    
GOAT CHEESE 6302       0  1 0 PORN IN A BARN 551    SCRAGGLE ROCK 6310    457         
SOLAR 6383             0  1 0 SPACE WOLVES 523      RILLION 21            460 NONE    
LUNAR 6382             0  1 0 SPACE WOLVES 523      BANDIT PRINCE 25      460 NONE    
SNOW CRASH 6218        1  2 0 TWISTED 548           GAMBIT 6161           459         

                                     PERSONAL ADS

     All -- If you think some of your ads are missing, don't panic.  They're probably
     at the end of the personals in the "political rhetoric" section.  That way the
     interested can read 'em and the uninterested can skip 'em. -- Ed.

Rillion -- Whatever.  I don't even know why your Andorian hide even comes to Jhans.
And yes, you are Andorian, no self-respecting Freeblader would ever cry as much as
you do! -- Sylvester  Frothingslosh

Kerry Bear -- Avoiding us? -- Wolf Pack

Matrix -- The reason I felt compelled to comment about Silver Stroke's obvious
cowardice, is because he is talking trash in an arena where he isn't playing.  I CAN
TALK TRASH HERE because I PLAY HERE.  Ok...let me see is I can break it down for you.
I haven't said anything in DM 10 to him because I don't run in DM 10.  Ok...you still
following me?  SO...when he wants to talk trash in DM 36, where I run, I feel that I
can comment.  Hope you are still with me here....  SO don't get offended that I
pointed out some things about your alliance mates; names.  You guys are the ones who
ran ALL ARENA ads about us.  In closing, if you or any of your alliance mates don't
like what I or my kLk brothers do in OUR HOUSE, then get the hell out.  You can go
crawl back in the hole with Assamite and Stroker and do whatever you guys do. --
Polarius

Toad -- Are you coming to the face?  Email me polariusklk@yahoo.com.  It was funny
that Bookie mentioned the Rush Limbaugh book, I have a subscription to the Limbaugh
Letter.  I think a lot of it is off the wall crap but some of it is pretty good. --
Polarius

Sir Chester -- I'm very glad you came to Jhans.  I can promise you the personals
would never be the same if you left.  Your mother told me she wouldn't mention any of
my SHORT comings.  I guess I shouldn't have trusted a street walker who gave me
astrums to take her home! -- Polarius

Chester -- When you receive your next account statement you will notice a kLk
contribution to your astrum problem.  You owe me a drink whenever you can.  Hopefully
sooner than later. -- Polarius

Chester -- This week I am sending you and Baphomet a copy of a warrior database I am
working on.  The one I'm sending you only has about 500 in it but maybe it will help
out.  Please let Baphomet know. -- Polarius

Pigfeed Picktan -- Don't you hate how the response tactic can screw up a striker
running decise? -- Rough Rider

Hamletrog -- I'll trade you my win for your 4 skills! -- French Hamster

Fnord -- Thanks for the win. -- The Lamb

Badda Bamm -- You were a worthy opponent.  Very good fight. -- Union Jack

Shadow Starr -- Do you think maybe, just maybe, you have found your favorite freaking
weapon?? -- Prince of Lies

Azrael -- Who are your warriors?  Would you be so kind as to tell me who's kicked my
butt?  I'd like to point out that I've had the Duelmaster for 3 turns, I am the top
team, AND I believe I am the leader of the kill tournament.  Seems my deeds of late
speak for themselves. -- Shocking Toad

Bookie -- My Bloodfeud didn't go through the one chance I had.  I hold no hard
feelings about you holding Blackjack out; I understand how Tourney prep goes.  I
won't get the "official" bloodfeud but I'll be seeing Blackjack some time.  :)

Rillion -- Your little "intelligent competition" remark was noticed also.  Now if it
were I who said that remark about you, you would have gotten all huffy and accused me
of personal slams etc....  But then that is your nature; defensive victimized whiner.
-- Sylvester "The Victimizer" Frothingslosh

Mithril -- If the competition isn't good enough for you in the arena, perhaps you can
find employment at Bookie's Brothel....  They are always looking for ladies of your
stature. -- Sylvester

Gambit -- He even wore a helm on the off chance you'd steal the initiative and be
aiming for his head.  I guess I'll just go for speed and accuracy on the feud. --
Paradox23
R.I.P. Snow Crash 7-3-20-16-20-7-11

Bookie -- Looks like I'm not in Kansas anymore.  No more 4 KD for me. -- Para

Subzero -- Thanks for the many learns!  Let;s try that again some time. -- Cosmic
Trigger

The Lamb -- You, sir, are one quick MoFo. -- Fnord

Krunk -- Well done! -- Dischordia

P.R.YOU.W. -- Four times we lock swords before you grabbed the initiative.  My learns
may have given me the edge I need for the next match. -- Lumi

Polarius -- I may not make it to the Face just out of fear of finding out first hand
what you mean by "hands on at Tiki Bob's".... -- Para

Azreal -- Thanks, but that last turn looked more like an exit. -- Para

Paradox -- Awww, thanks for the greeting back.  Normally people send flowers...you
sent me Snow Crash.  Down-right neighborly to offer me a fee kill.  ;-) -- Bookie
P.S.  Think that ratio's over...hehe.
P.P.S.  Don't be expecting Shocking Toad at the face.  He cancelled his flight as
soon as he found out that his airplane had a LEFT WING.  *grin*

Rillion -- Well, glad you showed up.  I've been hearing things....  What kind of
things you ask?  Just things...things about...woodchippers...shallow graves...and a
sheep.  Perhaps you hang out with Neon?  *evil grin*  As to Sylvester...he knew
better than to think HANGING was gonna be your flag-bearer.  He was smart enough to
know you wanted to keep him from graduating.  So he was gonna help him graduate...
hehe.  You notice just how many targets we have in here?  This place is really
starting to get fun...hope to kill one of yours soon. -- Bookie

French Hamster -- It's 'OUI OUI', I do believe.  I don't know what you meant by 'wee
wee' but you know frighten me and I feel oddly uncomfortable. -- Bookie

Pink Bear -- Ha ha...missed me.  -- Blackjack
P.S.  Had your chance, numb nutz....

Sir Chester -- Thank you for your sympathies about Frosty's death.  Come to the
Loucas Lounge and we'll have us a toast to his memory.  Good to see you're talkative
again.  Bwahahahahahahaha. -- Bookie

Polarius -- Get knighted, huh?  Don't you spend enough time on your knees already? --
bookie

Polarius and Azrael -- Be warned...that's not Drip's sista...that's Flagg in drag.
Silly Flagette.... -- Bookie
P.S.  Come back Flagg...come back....

Matrix -- Mordraith is not an enemy to make.  Of ALL of us he's NOT the enemy to
make.  Ask Jekyll. -- Bookie

Jekyll -- Guess that was Polarius' bloodfeud done vicariously through the kLk.
*shrug*  Btw...I got to read your whole turn minus the DA fight.  *grin* -- Bookie

Alfredo -- You would be absolutely correct with your assumption.  So if you get
something 'special' then you can sit him out until the contest starts...just as long
as he remains lowest ranked for you.  It's good to hear you speak (I've heard how
rare of an occurrence that has become).  Hopefully here you'll find your voice again.
It's been a LONG time.  Heard you found love.  'Gratz.  Good for you.  We all oughta
be happy if we can.  *grin*  I'd love to hear from ya again (if you even admit we
used to talk...hehe).  If you want, you could email me at BookiekLk@aol.com.  G'luck
to you here in Jhans and please let that ole scrag charm run amuck over us all.... --
Bookie
P.S.  I had a joke about Alfredo sauce but I let it slide...hehe.
P.P.S.  Bet the editor just cringed...lol.

     No, the editor has a headache and cringing would just make it worse.  But I
     cringed inside, I'm sure. -- Ed.

Shocking Toad -- This is hard to say but...congratulations on winning the first
annual St. Valentine's KLK Kill Contest. -- Azrael, gagging on every word

P-Diddy -- Congrats on Shawnda's kill.  Be glad you're not Turtle though! -- Azrael,
Lord of the Fallen

All -- Can't wait to see you at the face, those of you who are attending. -- Azrael
P.S.  Good luck to all in attendance.

Turtle -- Congrats on killing Arachne.  Too bad Bookie called off the bounty. --
Azrael
P.S.  Jyckell's gonna kill Driver.

Sir Chester -- Hurry and get back in here.  And sorry, but your sister left with
Polarius before I could read your ad.  Sorry, dude. -- Azrael, shares with friends

KLK -- You have spoken so I respond.  For the good of our alliance from hence forth,
in Jhans only, I will play seriously--no more weird rollup designs (is that spelled
right?  It looks wrong.  Oh well.)  No more crazy strats (a la Donna Huntress vs.
Another Blankee or Jealousy Rains vs. Arachne).  Just straight DM.  Satisfied? --
Azrael, always putting the team first

Pds23 -- Chalk what up to youthful exuberance? -- Azrael

Matrix -- You run Fortifex hey.  Good, now I know who to come for.  (smile) --
Azrael, finding Chaos in the corners

All -- I lost to Toad.  Froth me.  10-10-7, slash with a waste don't work apparently.
Rookie mistake. -- Azrael, should have listened to Bookie

Outloud -- We-well I'm back, and better than ever. -- Jealousy Rains

The Dark -- Almost, I got a bloodfeud to attend, then I'll try that again.  My desp.
strat floored me. -- Badda Bang, Total Parry Killa

Huggy Bear -- Wha tha froth?  Us have deal.  You screw Skirza over? -- Skirza
Slapstick

Arachne -- Ha Ha, take that!  My boy Driver got you. -- Scorpine

Hey shut up, Jyckell's coming after 'me'; be quiet, dude! -- Driver

Cosmic Trigger -- 4 learn in that short a fight.  Froth. -- Subzero

Misery -- Good fight. -- Scorpine

Last Trump -- Good fight, KLK brother. -- Reaper

The political rhetoric section:

Azrael -- You were right.  Bookie and I often debate on how much help the government
"owes" to the poor.  I believe, however, that we have the BEST system in the world.
I think our poor people have the BEST chance in the world to be helped.  The
government should give the poor enough assistance to help them help themselves.  If
they choose not to help themselves then that is their choice, and I really don't care
about them getting my tax dollars after that point.  There are plenty of charitable
organizations and churches who will also help support the needy.  There is nothing
that the federal government can do that the private sector couldn't do better.  If we
cut back on federal programs and provide an atmosphere where the private sector can
work it benefits all sides.  The poor get better care and we've limited the size of
the government.  Republicans are often thought of as heartless when it comes to the
poor.  This isn't true.  We want to help people who desire to do better.  These
people often go on to make a positive contribution to society.  But the people who
have no ambition except to live off of our tax dollars are a problem to society.
This is where we want reform.  Listen to some of Reagan's speeches when he was
campaigning for Goldwater. -- Polarius

Jhans -- It has been brought to my attention that many of you think I misspelled
"Wee" in my ads.  I can assure you I didn't.  I have become an American Hamster.  I
no longer speech the language of the back-stabbing, cowardly, sniffling, whiny,
socialist wanna be's, French.  They need to remember that they would be speaking
German and eating kraut and franks if it wasn't for the Americans.  NO, the British
COULD NOT HAVE WON WWII by themselves.  The US saved the world, we protect the world,
we finance the world, and the world needs to remember that. -- French Hamster...
wishing he could change his name.

Toad -- Isn't it funny how the left claims to care so much about the poor and
oppressed but when we march into Iraq and liberate millions we are villianized.  The
start screaming "blood for oil, Halliburton," and crap like that.  What they care
about is jumping on any band wagon which will put their guy into the White House. --
Polarius

Jhans -- Would everyone please quit asking me if I am running John Kerry's campaign?
(I'm trying to keep that secret!) -- Prince of Lies

Polarius -- I used to read the Yahoo!! Groups board but too much of it was repetitive
and off topic.  Sorry. -- Shocking Toad
P.S.  Know that you are right.  Try to help those that don't understand.  Remember
what Stephen Hawking said: "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is
the illusion of knowledge."  I fear that's the problem with many many people.
Although well intentioned, they are suffering from an illusion.  Stay strong,
brother.

Giving by choice to those in need dictates the quality of a civilization.  Having a
Government forcefully redistribute wealth to the lesser among us is not charity, it
is oppression.  The ends do NOT justify the means.  I give because I care, not only
because I must. -- Shocking Toad

Not ALL Democrats are Communists and Socialists but a large majority are.  People are
judged not only by their actions but by those they keep company with.  To really
understand the left in America open your eyes to the Extremists that have taken the
Democratic Party away from JFK, Zel Miller, and now, even Ed Koch.  I left the
Libertarians after 9/11 because I couldn't stomach them marching with the Communist
and Socialist parties.  Beware the company you keep for it does speak of you!  If you
have kids you know what I mean, the teachers judge them by their clique and parent
are wise to watch the quality of friends their kids hang with.  Political parties and
beliefs are no different. -- Shocking Toad
P.S.  I like to judge the kind of person I am by those that hate me.  Being an
American and a Jew I take pride in being a member of two of the most hated groups on
Earth.  I see how evil those are that hate me for who I am and realize I can't be
that wrong after all.

Toad -- You are a funny l'il man with funny l'il ideas.  I think you need to back the
train up for a second and check yourself.  How could you possibly make believe that
Hitler, Hussein, among many others are left wing?  If anything, dictators like that
would be right-wingists.  You seem to have been taught politics by underachieving
gnats of some kind.  But who knows?  Maybe I'm taking you too seriously.  Because
nobody can really be that stupid?  Or can they?  Tell me...can you read between the
lines? -- Bookie

Toad -- Oh and so you know, Hitler, Hussein, Stalin, etc. are all considered to be
conservatives.  As are most dictators.  Change is usually frowned upon by those who
rule by force.  Do the "Righty" checklist:  Rights and wealth to privileged upper
class.  Check.  Suppression and exploitation of poor and minorities.  Check.
Aggressive + Hostile foreign policies.  Check.  (Although I kind of like that one.)
-- Azrael
P.S.  So if you're going to throw out "Righty" propaganda, please do your homework.
Discover the difference between Liberal and Conservative.
P.P.S.  Toad--read the P.S. on next ad.

Polarius -- I am in no way trying to group your boy Bush in with the likes of Stalin
and Hitler.  You and I know the difference between Liberals and Conservatives.  Even
though we sometimes disagree on policies we at least respect the other's views.
Toad's mind is so small that he considers everyone and everything that doesn't see
the world the way he does to be a "lefty".  I was simply bringing him back to
reality.  "Rightists" policies historically resemble those of the Hitlers and
Husseins of the world. -- Azrael
P.S.  Some great "Leftys" for Toad:  George Washington, John Adams, Ben Franklin,
etc.  Liberal thinkers who by implementing change created this great country in the
first place.

16 June 2004
                             Death Fest Begins July 29/DM 59 T-172

     "You drive a hard bargain Hammer," responded Lord Lian Ki Na-Sul, "but the
Gladiatorial Commission has agreed to re-open DM 58 Delarq Tor as a Slow Arena
exclusively for a period of six months to those Death Fest contestants who fight
their stables at least 67 times out of a possible 75 during the 15 rounds of Death
Fest; on the condition that at least 20 stables qualify for the Illis Iron Stable
Award at the conclusion of the Death Fest and those qualifying managers send a New
Stable to DM 58 Delarq Tor without Cannibalizing their participation in the other
arenas where they have active stables!"
     Hammer felt a certain sense of satisfaction as he studied the ghoulish grin
spreading across the face of Lord Lian Ki Na-Sul; proud Arena Master of the once
dying Illis Arena, as the DM 59 Arena Authority signed the Gladiatorial Commission
papers authenticating the arrangement agreed upon by the two parties presiding.
     "You and the Gladiatorial Commission also drive a hard bargain," Hammer replied
as he reflected upon the prospects of Delarq Tor DM 58 being re-opened as a Slow
Arena with at least 20 New Stables by the Managers who fight their stables at least
67 times out of a possible 75 during the 15 rounds of Death Fest. "I also notice the
clause that for Delarq Tor to be open Exclusively for 6 months to the New Stables
managed by the Illis Iron Stable Award Winners that there must be at least 15 stables
Active each cycle. That is a fair bargain for the opportunity to battle for the
Duelmaster Throne each of those six months before Other New Stables are allowed to
enter Delarq Tor."
     This was a Golden Opportunity for both Veteran and Newbie Managers to pave a new
frontier of Delarq history by qualifying their Death Fest stables in DM 59 with 67
fights out of a possible 75; then for the price of running a stable in a Regular
Arena, continuing to be Active in DM 59 and sending a New Team Roll Up to be a part
of "History in the Making" when Delarq Tor would re-open for its First Turn as a Slow
Arena on November 3rd, 2005.
     Death Fest would conclude on T-186 August 25th, 2005 allowing the Illis Iron
Stable Award Winners enough time to be registered with the Gladiatorial Commission;
whereupon they would be able to submit a New Team Roll Up to the GC to start a New
Stable in Delarq Tor; be able to fight those New Gladiators in the Rookies 2005 Fall
Mailer Tourney; then begin competing for the DM 58 Duelmasters Throne in Delarq Tor
right out of the gate with the November 3rd 2005 T-1 Debut Opening Round.
     Hammer of the First Part had also negotiated with Lord Na-Zul of the Second Part
an agreement that All 10 Dark Arena Monsters and 17 NPCs Characters be re-named by
the Top Ten Death Fest Finishers. [See DM 59 T-171 Newsletter Team Spotlight by
Hammer for the complete listing of Dark Arena Monsters/NPCs and the Official Death
Fest Designation for which Top Ten Finishers re-name which characters!]
     Lord Na-Sul could not hide his delight at the prospects of Death being re-
delivered to his once dying arena during the Delarq Death Fest; the DM 59 Arena
Master agreed that these Death Fest Prizes were but a Small Exchange in Comparison to
the Profits to be made by the local Illis business merchants and surrounding
community from the Anticipated Influx into Illis by the Veteran and Newbie
Managers/Gladiators/Stables seeking to make History in the Delarq Death Fest.
     Nor could Hammer conceal his jubilation regarding the Call Across Alistari being
Answered to Cross Blades and Match Wits with the Devious, the Diabolical, the
Dangerous and the Down Challenging who were being drawn to the Delarq Death Fest to
Fulfill their Delarq Dueling Destiny!
     REMEMBER: Death Fest begins July 29th T-172 with 25 points being awarded to
those who write a minimum 15 paragraph Team Spotlight [including Stable Name &
Managerial Alias in the Storyline!] for the DM 59 T-172 Newsletter [So Make Sure HAL
Does Not Eat any Lengthy Sentences that are Emailed without Proper Formatting; and
the RSI Typist has Plenty of Time to Type Any Hand Written Spotlights; Lest Ye
Discover 0 Points Awarded for a Missing or Incomplete T-172 Team Spotlight!]
     "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"  -- Hammer/Death Fest
Host/Vendetta Cartel Captain; WordSmith and High Priest of the Crimson Ascension
Family in DM 28

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

RUH-ROH, RHAGGY was butchered by RILLION in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
COCKROACH VI was slaughtered by SUPERIOR MANAGER in a 2 minute Dark Arena battle.
ALDRAS was murdered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
FODDER was butchered by SUPERIOR MANAGER in a 1 minute gory Dark Arena contest.
STICK-A-KLK was savagely slain by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 8 minute Dark Arena match.
TEN PACKS A DAY viciously butchered RILLION in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
DORK was executed by SUPERIOR MANAGER in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
COCKROACH VII was easily killed by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
COCKROACH VIII was barely slain by RILLION in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena duel.
NURSE STEELE was viciously butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
LONGSHOT was savagely slain by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute brutal Dark Arena fight.
SOLAR was easily killed by RILLION in a 1 minute Dark Arena bout.
TURTLE SOUP was assassinated by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
W was murdered by RILLION in a 1 minute Dark Arena competition.
LUNAR was easily killed by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena contest.
TROJAN MAN subdued DRIVER in a 2 minute Bloodfeud brawl.
BADDA BANG beat SLAYIN STAYNER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Bloodfeud conflict.
HUGGY BEAR was overpowered by PINK BEAR in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
POSTMASTER P vanquished MORACH RAZH in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge Title fray.
SCORPINE was devastated by KILL'EM KREPP in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
BADDA BAMM overpowered BROWN KITTY TOO in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
MISERY overpowered ... A HORSE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
CLURACAN unbelievably bested SLASHIN' SPECK in a 5 minute Challenge competition.
SOMATRON was defeated by GITO GITO HUSTLER in a exciting 1 minute Challenge duel.
FURIOUS INHALER savagely defeated SKUNK #1 in a action packed 4 minute Challenge fray.
PIXIE DUST viciously subdued DIVIT in a 2 minute gory novice's Challenge bout.
MORAXX overpowered WASTEM WUORNOS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
SANDPAPER CONDOM was overpowered by ANOTHER BLANKEE in a 1 minute Challenge duel.
HAY RIDE defeated CLOVER in a 4 minute Challenge match.
SKIRZA SLAPSTIK was viciously subdued by HUNGOVER in a crowd boring 9 minute bout.
MANICOUAGAN beat PSYCHO PROCTOLOGIST in a crowd pleasing 3 minute veteran's fray.
CY viciously subdued CAPTURED ORC in a 1 minute gory bout.
DEVASTATOR was overpowered by GROPING CHICKENS in a 1 minute uneven duel.
SHAWNDA was narrowly defeated by REAPER in a exciting 5 minute gory match.
SHADOW STARR was defeated by TITANIC in a 2 minute bout.
DIMPLED was overpowered by BLUEBEARD in a 1 minute uneven bout.
BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO was demolished by CHIEF BLING-BLING$ in a 1 minute uneven contest.
GAMBIT was overpowered by PIGFEED PICKTAN in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
QUEEN SLEEZ was murdered by SUBZERO in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.
NEW RED BLANKET was overcome by TIGERWOLF in a 3 minute novice vs. veteran fight.
P.R.U.W. overcame DONNA THE HUNTRESS in a popular 3 minute beginner's match.
SCRAGGLE ROCK overpowered PROBLEM in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
JUJU HAND was easily killed by THE LOVE BELOW in a 1 minute mismatched match.
QUAGULA was dispatched by JEALOUSY RAINS in a exciting 1 minute novice's match.
JEALOUSY STARR vanquished CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute one-sided struggle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  22         TOTAL PARRY       53 -  29 -  1      65  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  9         WALL OF STEEL     37 -  27 -  1      58  |
|AIMED BLOW                       8         LUNGING ATTACK   116 - 122 - 13      49  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    8         BASHING ATTACK    38 -  44 -  4      46  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   8         STRIKING ATTACK   46 -  68 -  8      40  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      8         PARRY-LUNGE        5 -   8 -  0      38  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  6         SLASHING ATTACK   29 -  49 -  4      37  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         PARRY-STRIKE       9 -  19 -  1      32  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         AIMED BLOW        17 -  36 -  2      32  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-RIPOSTE      4 -  21 -  0      16  |

Turn 460 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     BASHING ATTACK     3 -  5         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         4 -  4     TOTAL PARRY        3 -  5         2  AIMED BLOW     
LUNGING ATTACK    11 - 11     STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  7         2  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  3     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         1  BASHING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      4 -  4     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  3         1  TOTAL PARRY    
                                                                1  STRIKING ATTACK

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       POSTMASTER P 5182          21  11  0  143 HELTER SKELTER (256)
WALL OF STEEL    MORACH RAZH 6239           14  13  0   89 CLAN BATTLEAXE II (550)
BASHING ATTACK   HUGGY BEAR 6002            12   6  0   88 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
LUNGING ATTACK   TROJAN MAN 5710            13   6  3   75 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
SLASHING ATTACK  CY 6234                     7   3  0   67 CLAN BATTLEAXE II (550)
STRIKING ATTACK  SLAYIN STAYNER 5891         9   3  1   61 ANARKYSTS (341)
TOTAL PARRY      CLURACAN 6035               8   2  0   36 THE DREAMING (529)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is TROJAN MAN 5710.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was SLASHIN' SPECK 5854.  The ten other most popular fighters were PSYCHO 
PROCTOLOGIST 3675, SHAWNDA 6032, FURIOUS INHALER 4047, P.R.U.W. 6328, REAPER 6150, 
TROJAN MAN 5710, BADDA BANG 6013, PIXIE DUST 6308, NEW RED BLANKET 6338, and TEN 
PACKS A DAY 6346.

The least popular fighter this week was STICK-A-KLK 6385.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were SKIRZA SLAPSTIK 5996, HUNGOVER 3723, JUJU HAND 6348, PROBLEM 
5977, DONNA THE HUNTRESS 6307, QUEEN SLEEZ 6142, GAMBIT 6161, BIBIDY-BOBIDY-BOO 6309, 
DIMPLED 5776, and DEVASTATOR 6079.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

POSTMASTER P (36-5182) HELTER SKELTER (256)

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

PINK BEAR (36-5883) LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)