DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 08/19/2004    Duedate: 09/01/2004

JHANS ARENA

DM-36    TURN-463

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

MAD MILKSTER
LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)
(36-5052) [15-6-2,111]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

DONNA                          LUCIFERI
BABES (416)                    THE BREW CREW (526)
(36-5966) [12-6-0,128]         (36-6018) [7-1-0,54]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

KERRY BEAR                     FUNKY COLD MEDINA
BLITZKRIEG (271)               BLITZKRIEG (271)
(36-3994) [13-10-1,89]         (36-6154) [3-5-0,48]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

THE DREAMING (529)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. WOLFCATS (556)              75
2. LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)    42      REVELATION (543)
3. MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)      35      Unchartered Team
4. KAMIKAZI (533)              33
5. BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)      33      WOLFCATS (556)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1*WOLFCATS (556)             6   1  0 85.7   1/ 1 THE DREAMING (529)       11  4 0
 2/ 2 REVELATION (543)         102  65  7 61.1   2/ 3 ANARKYSTS (341)           8  7 2
 3/ 3*HELL'S BELLES (562)        6   4  1 60.0   3/13*MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)    7  6 1
 4/ 4 THE CHADS (482)           79  53  3 59.8   4/ 5*BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)    7  6 0
 5/ 7 ALMOST! (316)             54  39  4 58.1   5/ 6 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     7  6 0
 6/ 6 KAMIKAZI (533)            42  31  4 57.5   6/ 2 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515)  7  7 1
 7- 8*THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)     9   7  1 56.3   7/ 7 KAMIKAZI (533)            7  8 1
 8/ 9 5440 OR FIGHT! (336)     228 194 35 54.0   8/11 ALMOST! (316)             6  4 2
 9/19 THE DREAMING (529)        33  29  3 53.2   9/16*HELL'S BELLES (562)       6  4 1
10/10 LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259) 278 252 18 52.5  10/14 BLITZKRIEG (271)          6  4 0
11/11*ANIMATED DESTRUCTI (545)  12  11  1 52.2  11/12 HELTER SKELTER (256)      6  7 0
12/14 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     53  49  5 52.0  12/17 LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)  6  9 0
13/13 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     61  57  8 51.7  13/ 9*FORTIFEX (540)            6  9 0
14/12 BABES (416)              216 204  7 51.4  14/22*WOLFCATS (556)            5  1 0
15/15 BLITZKRIEG (271)         153 145 14 51.3  15/15 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     5  8 1
16/16 HELTER SKELTER (256)     503 481 29 51.1  16/ 4 THE FALLEN (524)          5 10 0
17/17 CLAN BATTLEAXE II (550)  161 157  8 50.6  17/ 8 CLAN BATTLEAXE II (550)   5 10 0
18/18 PAST TENSE (28)           39  40  1 49.4  18/28*PORN IN A BARN (551)      4  5 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/27*BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)    10  11  0 47.6  19/26*THE BREW CREW (526)       4  6 0
20/20*THE BREW CREW (526)       19  21  0 47.5  20/24*KARNIVORZ (455)           4  6 0
21/22*KARNIVORZ (455)           13  15  0 46.4  21/10 PAST TENSE (28)           4  7 0
22/25 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE. (515)  77  90 13 46.1  22/18 SCARRY TEAM (325)         4 11 0
23/21 CLAN BATTLEAXE (347)      35  41  3 46.1  23/19*ANIMATED DESTRUCTI (545)  3  1 0
24/26 ANARKYSTS (341)          326 383 36 46.0  24/21 MY BEST BUDS (505)        3  4 0
25/23 THE FALLEN (524)          47  57  2 45.2  25/33 THE CHADS (482)           3  6 0
26/28 SCARRY TEAM (325)        132 183  4 41.9  26/32 REVELATION (543)          3  7 1
27/29*MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)    17  24  5 41.5  27/25 BABES (416)               3  7 0
28/24 MY BEST BUDS (505)         8  12  0 40.0  28/29 CLAN BATTLEAXE (347)      3 12 0
29/32*PORN IN A BARN (551)      11  18  1 37.9  29-27 ERRATA (490)              2  1 0
30-30*NORTHSIDE BULLOCKS (552)   3   5  0 37.5  30-20*NORTHSIDE BULLOCKS (552)  2  1 0
31-33 ERRATA (490)              21  45  1 31.8  31-23*THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)    2  2 0
32/31*FORTIFEX (540)            10  22  0 31.3  32/31 5440 OR FIGHT! (336)      2  3 0
33/ 0*EXQUISITE CORPS II (546)   2   7  0 22.2  33/ 0*EXQUISITE CORPS II (546)  1  0 0
34/34*SPACE WOLVES (523)         0   7  0  0.0  34/34*SPACE WOLVES (523)        0  2 0
35-35*102 MUTATIONS (522)        0   1  0  0.0  35-35*102 MUTATIONS (522)       0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

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                            TEN TURNS OF HELL UPDATE TURN
                                    FLAG BEARERS

TEAM                              FLAG HELD BY
SUICIDAL DREAMS   (SUI)           SHADOW STARR  (SUI)
MEMPHIS MAFIA II   (MEMPH)        SANDPAPER CONDOM  (MEMPH)
BOOKIE'S BROTHEL   (BOOK)         KIZZY LYNNE  (BOOK)
WOLFCATS   (WOLF)                 TIMBER LION (WOLF)
REVELATION   (REV)                THE LAMB  (REV)
THE CHADS   (CHADS)               MISCOUNT  (CHADS)
QUEBEC   (QUEB)                   MANICOUGAN  (QUEB)
ALMOST!   (ALMST)                 FURIOUS INHALER  (ALMST)
KAMIKAZI   (KAMI)                 SCORPINE  (KAMI)
5440 OR FIGHT!   (5440)           RIZZLE DIZZLE  (5440)
TWISTED   (TWIST)                 **FELL OFF NL
LEGENDARY BASTARDS   (BSTRD)      LANCE ARMSTRONG  (BSTRD)
BLIND HYPOCRISY   (BLIND)         HAIL MARY  (BLIND)
ANIMATED DESTRUCTION   (ANIM)     DANCING BONES  (ANIM)
PAST TENSE (PAST)                 YERN'N FER'N URN  (PAST)
BABES   (BABES)                   MARCIE  (BABES)
HELTER SKELTER   (HELTR)          I. B.  KLONIN  (HELTR)
BLITZKRIEG   (BLITZ)              FRENCH HAMSTER  (BLITZ)
CLAN BATTLEAXE   (CLAN1)          VAELIN  (CLAN)
CLAN BATTLEAXE II   (CLAN2)       VEROCITY  (CLAN2)
THE DREAMING   (DREAM)            CHIEF BLING-BLING$  (DREAM)
THE FALLEN   (FALL)               JEALOUSY RAINS  (FALL)
LITTLE GIRLS LIKE   (GIRLS)       ELECTRA  (GIRLS)
ANARKYSTS   (ANARK)               WASTEM WUORNOS  (ANARK)
MY BEST BUDS   (BUDS)             THAI-STICK  (BUDS)
SCARRY TEAM   (SCARY)             ELIZABETH RABBIT  (SCARY)
NORTHSIDE BULLOCKS   (NORTH)      RUTTIN BIGGS (NORTH)
PORN IN A BARN   (PORN)           HAY RIDE  (PORN)
ERRATA   (ERRAT)                  DIVIT  (ERRAT)
FORTIFEX   (FORT)                 MR CHAOS  (FORT)
PR OR NOT PB   (PB)               **FELL OF NL
SPACE WOLVES   (SPACE)            **NO WARRIOR ON NL
102 MUTATIONS   (102)             IMMORTAL LEMMING  (102)
KARNIVORZ   (KARN)                CORPSE COUNT  (KARN)
HELL'S BELLES (HELL)              SOUTHERN BELLE  (HELL)
THE CRIMSON TIDE  (TIDE)          LUCA  (TIDE)
THE BREW CREW  (BREW)             HORIZONTAL POLKA  (BREW)

     Welcome to the first turn of TEN TURNS OF HELL:  The kLk Capture the Flag
Competition.  Above are the flag-bearers from last turn.  For those of you without
internet access:  look up who each of the above flag-bearers fought.  If they won,
they kept their flag.  If they lost, the winner took the flag from them.  (So you
know who to challenge to get the most points.)
     For those of you with internet access you can go to www.yahoogroups.com and join
group KLKCONTEST to have updates mailed to you even before the NL updates to give you
plenty of time to plot out your next turn.  *grin*
     Good luck to everyone and have a good time hunting down those flags!!!

Bookie

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                                 Contest Spy Report
                                         by
                              Your Reigning Duelmaster
                                     HUGGY BEAR

     Sup, my people?  Bookie tells me he gonna let different people do their own spin
in the spy report each turn and this turn, it's all me baby.
     Not a lot goin' on this turn.  No scoring, no fights to keep up with, nothin'
but flag-bearers being picked.  Well not do go quietly let's look at who's who and
who's got a chance to win this thing.
     Timber Lion of WOLFCATS.  Well, haven't seen Timber at the Lounge much.  He
(along with his whole team) has been laying low like they owe somebody some money.
Maybe too many nights over at Drips' Mom's led to a bill they can't afford.
Anyway...word on the street is Ultraist or Sylvester or Ultravester (damn guy has
more aliases than an undercover cop) has a good shot at this thing.  Should be
interesting to watch how this team performs.  (Gods know Ultra's hyped 'em enough.)
     The Lamb of REVELATION.  I don't know much about Revelations even though my
mamma surely did try to teach me.  Polarius with the first of two entries from him
and first of three from his household.  (You know his wife played?  Now that's a sexy
woman....)  One note of interest here is that The Lamb's team-mate THE BEAST is not
the same as Warbeast, the former mayor of Jhans who had to leave office after he was
taped eating pizza with a prostitute in a local hotel.  Poor guy was framed.  Fo'
shizzle.
     Miscount of THE CHADS.  Rillion, Rillion, Rillion....  I'm so sick of everyone
talkin' 'bout Rillion.  Yea he's in BOB.  Whatever BOB stands for I sure don't know.
But a lot of folks talkin' bout Rillion and what he's done in Jhans before.  Maybe he
can do it again...but this time I think he's got a tougher road to hoe than before.
Hehe, I said 'hoe'.
     Furious Inhaler of ALMOST!.  Well well well.  Guardian has reared his head in
Jhans!  Guardian's one of the old school playas and more than a few peeps down at the
Lounge are betting money on Guardian to go the distance.  If Furious can lay off the
inhalin' it could be smooth sailings for the tourney experienced ALMOST! team.  At
the end...will Guardian win?  Eh, ALMOST!!
     Scorpine of KAMIKAZI.  Turtle the upstart.  He used to be the pride of the
newbie kLk's until P Diddy blew up at the face like an atomic bomb.  Word has it
Turtle's fired up to prove that he's still the man to beat in Jhans but he better get
busy and Scorpine better use those avoids well.  Looks like Monkey Shine already has
a bulls-eye painted on Scorpine's plate armor.
     Rizzle Dizzle of 5440 OR FIGHT!.  Fo' shizzle, Rizzle Dizzle.  NBK up in da
hizzle.  Can the Independent Draith bring home the money?  Maybe.  Never wise to
count Mordraith out but some of these teams in here are mad stacked.
     Lance Armstrong of MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS.  Can I say 'bastards'?  For real?  Let
me try that again...magnificent BASTARDS.  Wow, that feels good.  Anyway my
nizzles...the notorious Doc LeMa$e has made his return to the city of Jhans.  Wonder
how long it is before someone ticks him off.  Woe unto ye who maketh the Doc mad...
that ninja's CRAZY!!
     Hail Mary of BLIND HYPOCRISY.  Hmmm, could this name be Jekyll's new attitude
since getting close and personal with P Diddy's "Love Below".  "PLEASE GOD NOT
AGAIN!!"  Somethin tells me that DA'ing "P Diddy's Daddy" may not go over well with
The Dreaming guild.  Maybe we got ourselves a good ole fashioned feud starting!  Hail
Mary, mother full of grace, pray for Blind Hypocrisy....
     Dancing Bones of ANIMATED DESTRUCTION.  Nothin funnier than a skinny dude
dancing and One Armed Bandit brings it to you live with this Flag-bearer.  OAB kickin
it as an indie and you gotta respect anyone that brave in this hell-hole.
     Yern'n Fer'n Urn of PAST TENSE.  This team is older than my grandma.  This team
qualifies for social security.  This team is older than...well, its older than the
twinkie Jeckyll keeps in his 'special place'.  Sue me, I don't know jack on these
guys.  Wild card baby...wild card.
     Marcie of BABES.  I love it when ya call me Big Papa....  Yea, be afraid Jhans
as Papa Bear is payin' attention.  Marcie is the "highest ranked-lowest ranked
warrior'.  Quite a strange distinction.  Marcie's tougher than she looks.  Believe
me.  If it wasn't for the Blitzkrieg TP's she'd be in the CC's by now.  WAY TO GO,
JAMIE!!
     I.B. Klonin of HELTER SKELTER.  Well, if Bookie had used this name he'd be out
of line.  Cosmo does it and its funny.  Bah.  Double standards!!  Anyway, the man
formerly known as your favorite Uncle Charlie has changed his name to Cosmo.
Different name, same nasty attitude.  Maybe Charlie broke up "the family" but Helter
Skelter lives on forever in this team's crazy ways....  You gotta count Cosmo in this
thing.  He may not win...but I bet he runners-up!!
     French Hamster of BLITZKRIEG.  Polarius and his pro-America message can be seen
very clearly here with this team name.  Wait!  WTF?!  Blitzkrieg?!  You a natzi,
boy?!  Don't you know people died to beat those people?  Geesh.  Leave it to a
Republican to love the natzi's.  Polarius is hot off his TC of rookie's in Memphis.
Maybe he can use the momentum to drive his team to victory...or maybe he'll (as Kerry
Bear puts it) 'come up just a little short'.  Just playin', North Starr.  You my
boy....
     Vaelin of CLAN BATTLEAXE.  Vaelin gets our 'what the froth does that mean'
award.  Mithril sure can pick the warrior names and he sure can drink.  You know he
got to third?  Just thought I'd keep my peeps informed.
     Verocity of CLAN BATTLEAXE II.  To have such original warrior names he sorta sux
on team name diversities doesn't he?  Oh well, to each their own.  If he can stay
sober long enough to do the turnsheets he's got a shot.
     Chief Bling-Bling$ of THE DREAMING.  I know what you thinkin'.  "Thank God it's
not The Love Below".  Yah, Diddy froth'd up and mister 'runner-up' at the face didn't
get that initial flag.  Don't let Bling-Bling$'s record fool ya though.  He's from
the Slapajo Tribe and that native American means business.  Word.
     Jealousy Rains of THE FALLEN.  Jealousy's a nice girl.  Jealousy's a sweet girl.
Jealousy is crazy when you tick her off.  If Azrael can get his mind off of Donna he
may have a L'IL BIT of a chance to take this thing home.  Be sure to visit Sandpaper
before you go there, Az.  It's like Alien blood, it'll eat through steel.
     Electra of LITTLE GIRLS LIKE....  Well, the Right-Wing Toad, who just won the
kill contest, has been on a roll lately.  Personally, I wanna thank Toad for all
those wins early in my career.  I couldn't be DM without ya, man!  Believe me, even
if I'm thankful...Toad should realize a LOT of people are watching him after he snuck
that last contest win in.  Think you can go back to back, Toadie?
     Wastem Wuornos of ANARKYSTS.  Now here's an anomaly.  The worst record of any
flag-bearer.  Maybe Nunzio's been throwin fights.  Yea, startin next turn Wastem goes
on a 10 fight tear.  Just watch.  Do not doubt the IVER.
     Thai-Stick of MY BEST BUDS.  How can I knock on a team named after a favorite
hobby of mine?  Look out!  Street Legal gonna go off like he does on the forums.  He
gonna drop the Atomic Bong on ya.  BOOOOM!!  Look at dat mushroom cloud of smoke!!
     Elizabeth Rabbit of SCARRY TEAM.  Lady A Sop has returned to Jhans.  I know she
doesn't care if she wins but its still nice to have her here anyway.
     Ruttin Biggs of NORTHSIDE BULLOCKS.  Who are they?  They're the team that gave
Toad his winning kill in the kill-contest, that's who they are!  Can they win?  Will
they win?  Who the hell are they?  Who knows?!  But if anyone sees Ruttin tell him I
want my money.
     Hay Ride of PORN IN BARN.  Porn in a Barn.  How...disturbing.  I can deal with
it as long as this team has no warriors named PA.  Alfredo brings this team into the
competition with the reputation of being one of the best basic managers in the game.
One of the faves early to win...and it wouldn't surprise me if he did.  But if I hear
"you like-a da sauce" one more time I think I'm gonna scream.
     Divit of ERRATA.  Divit is the kind of warrior that orders a round for the
entire bar and than walks out before paying.  *grin*  Nah, I actually don't know the
guy but if memory serves me right I think I've seen him walkin the back alleys of the
city.  Gods know what goes on back there....
     Mr Chaos of FORTIFEX.  "Mr Chaos".  That's like being "Mr. Nobody" ain't it?
Matrix, the movie sucked, and so far so does your alliance.  Remember, Silver Stroke
talks the talk and leaves you to walk the walk.  Sux to be you!  Grrrr, BTW, Bookie
wanted me to say that at the face you guys weren't so bad.  Blah.  He's just trippin.
     Immortal Lemming of 102 MUTATIONS.  One little warrior listed.  Four little
warriors hidden.  Hmmm, somebody hiding something or not even sticking around?  Time
will tell.
     Corpse Count of KARNIVORZ.  Tripwire has returned.  Are you ready?  Do you care?
Eh, I don't.  Don't know Trip so well but I hear he TC'd before.  Anybody who's TC'd
is a threat.
     Southern Belle of HELL'S BELLES.  Youngblood comes in with a team to make your
ring!  Ding-ding-dong...ringa-ling, ding-ding-dong.  The newest kLk member comes in
guns a blazin.  If this team has no slashers than we're all safe.
     Luca of CRIMSON TIDE.  Polarius' wife's team.  Well, you know how that goes.
But she really does look good in leather armor.  She really does.  Got the Polaroids
to prove it.
     Horizontal Polka of THE BREW CREW.  Wow.  Cool name.  Surprised that survived
the watchful eye of censorship.  Brew-ha-ha has a decent team and if he can play
regular he could be a threat.
     Last but not least, Bookie's three flag-bearers.  Eh, I'm not gonna talk about
them because after all, I'm biased.  This contest should be a blast.  I raise my
pimp-chalice to you all.  WELCOME TO JHANS!!!

Huggy Bear/your reigning DM

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                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 502): JEJUNE of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 388): TOOFLESS of GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 507): LEFTISTS BLOW of THE CONFUSED (Shocking Toad, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 503): GROTESQUE of DARK TOADS (TigToad, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 502): FRIED TWINKIE of MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 506): BLUE FALCON of BATTLE BEASTS (Sensei Jan, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 503): GINGER of SUGAR AND SPICE (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 498): SIR PENT of SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 490): LIPPS MCFRENZY of CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 488): I ATE A PUTY TAT of CARNAGE CANARIES (C. Canary, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 462): HUGGY BEAR of SUICIDAL DREAMS (Bookie, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 453): STEVEN SCIMITAR of EAGLES CLAW (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 198): ANGELOST of DARQUE ANGELS (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 440): LIMPY TWO-SCREWS of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 388): APPLE of FRUITS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 184): MICROSOFT of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 172): MACAULIFFE of THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 338): BET OR NOT DIE of SRETSAMLEUD (Phat Phat, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 149): CANNONBALL of X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 381): DR DAZZLE of PEPPER PRACTICE II from ANDOR (The Muffin
                             Man, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 502): LAB EXPERIMENTS (The Mun, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 388): GLORY BOUND TROLLS (DeGotti, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 507): AESIR (Buri, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 503): DARK TOADS (TigToad, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 502): JOHNS (Dear, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 506): DARK PREDECESSORS (Liam the Goth, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 503): BEACH BABES (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 498): SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 490): CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 488): COSMIC FREAK OUT (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 462): THE DREAMING (P-Diddy, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 453): EAGLES CLAW (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 198): THE MIDDLE WAY (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 440): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 388): DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 184): USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 172): IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 338): DEVIL'S MAYHEM (Dincuru Feadagnor?, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 149): X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 381): BLACK PRIMERS, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 506): GRAPH of GAMES LIBRARY (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 502): STANLEY'S CUP of SPORTZ! (Guardian, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 502): FRIED TWINKIE of MORE NEW TEAMS 2 (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 503): GINGER of SUGAR AND SPICE (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 498): SIR PENT of SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
                           QUIETUS of QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
                           SIR PRISE of SIR AGLIO (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 490): GOUT GOUT of CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
                (turn 489): SWEATCAKE of CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
                            POOPIEHEAD of CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 488): I ATE A PUTY TAT of CARNAGE CANARIES (C. Canary, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 453): TEDIOUS TED of EAGLES CLAW (Talon Volksie, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 197): MYRON NAGEL of THE MIDDLE WAY (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 440): LIMPY TWO-SCREWS of COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave, mgr.)
               (turn 439): STUPID SEXY FLANDERS of I'M SO SEXY (Muffy, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 184): MICROSOFT of USELESS TOOLS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 172): MACAULIFFE of THE EXPLORERS (Kellog, mgr.)
              (turn 171): HOFFA WITH HAIR of IMPROVED ILLUSION (Phantasm, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 337): YOU of SRETSAMLEUD (Phat Phat, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 149): CONSTANTINE of AGELESS WONDER (Belyn, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     You elder fighters surely remember me.  The younger ones may call me Olaf 
Modeen.  I return to JHANS once again!  THE FALLEN bit the big one as they could not 
win.  They dropped from 4th down to 16th!  Are you guy giving lessons or what?  
Looking for a good fight, confident, skilled, tough opponents.  Well don't look at 
PAST TENSE, cause they dropped by 11.  Some people say I ramble too much, I don't say 
anything relevant.  I repeat myself.  I ramble.  Well WOLFCATS moved up 8, to 14th.  
What's with UNBORN?  She actually beat MY BEST BUDS' ACAPULCO GOLD, and walked away 
with 29 more points from the fight.  Major screwup at FORTIFEX.  MORAXX lost 19 
points to SANDPAPER CONDOM.  Some new strategies, perhaps?  Maybe MORAXX will provide 
more easy wins...  LEGENDARY BASTARDS' hatred of SUICIDAL DREAMS surfaced again as 
MAD MILKSTER challenged JHANS' top dog.  I can barely restrain my enthusiam for 
LEGENDARY BASTARDS' outstanding member, Duelmaster MAD MILKSTER.  Advice to fighters 
with a 1 will--give up fighting!   
     If at first you don't succeed, avoid.  That'll get you in the Spyreports.  How 
well I know the feeling of being in the most avoided team!  Don't fall out of 
practive, BOOKIE'S BROTHEL!  Management must be dealin', as the boys at HELTER 
SKELTER ain't reelin'!  BOOKIE'S BROTHEL's mad!  What do people see in ELIZABETH 
RABBIT?  Hers 0-3-0?  SCARRY TEAM ain't talkin', but she's got 3 points.  Fighting is 
a better craft than farming, OBLIVIOUS, but you have to pay your dues.  Being 
challenged by DONNA, 19 points above you, is dues.  DONNA subdued OBLIVIOUS.  I bet 
DONNA could beat two-year-olds, too.  Well, KAMIKAZI knows who to set their sights 
on.  SKIRZA SLAPSTIK of THE FALLEN knows how to pick 'em.  He challenged KERRY BEAR 
of BLITZKRIEG who is up by 21.  Now was this a wise move?  SKIRZA SLAPSTIK perhaps 
got his just desserts, seeing as he was beat by KERRY BEAR and ended up with 63 
recognition points.  I hate going to the effort of writing about the kind of fights 
that BADDA BAMM gets in.  He fights people like TITANIC, 15 points below.  I thought 
BADDA BAMM showed great skill and promise when he overcame TITANIC.  All right, so I 
slept through it!  Big deal!   
     There have been some calls to lengthen the time limit.  Do you want the fighters 
to walk away, or not?  GROPING CHICKENS larned his lesson (BLOOD MOON taught it 
well), and we right likely won't be seein' 'im fight any REVELATION members with the 
same gusto.  Someone told SLASHIN' SPECK that PAST TENSE never Bloodfeuded, that he'd 
have an easy kill.  Well, I'm sure whoever misled you is right sorry.  Many a warrior 
has met his fate in a hungover stupor.  You young rapscallions, take note!   
     Many other cities have retirement homes for aged warriors.  Any plans here?  Are 
you as tired of reading this as I am of writing it?  Actually, I guess I'm writing it 
before you read it.  Oh, well.  I don't want to overstay my welcome...-- Olaf Modeen  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MAD MILKSTER 5052            15   6  2   111       LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DONNA 5966                   12   6  0   128       BABES (416)
 CREEPSHOW KILLER 5010        15  10  0   102       LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)
 HANGING 5507                 12   5  0   100       THE CHADS (482)
 OBLIVIOUS 6101               10   3  0    96       KAMIKAZI (533)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 UNION JACK 6015              16   1  0    90       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 KERRY BEAR 3994              13  10  1    89       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 HUGGY BEAR 6002              14   7  0    87       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 BLOOD MOON 6175              10   6  0    87       REVELATION (543)
 HUNGOVER 3723                15   3  0    84       ALMOST! (316)
 MORACH RAZH 6239             15  15  0    83       CLAN BATTLEAXE II (550)
 WHIRLING MIST 5026           16   8  0    80       LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)
 MISERY 6232                   9   3  0    78       CLAN BATTLEAXE II (550)
 SHAWNDA 6032                  8   5  1    75       THE DREAMING (529)
 CY 6234                       8   5  0    74       CLAN BATTLEAXE II (550)
 BADDA BANG 6013               8  11  0    72       THE FALLEN (524)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PSYCHO PROCTOLOGIST 3675     12  10  2    64       ALMOST! (316)
 BADDA BAMM 6075              10   7  0    64       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 DRIVER 6055                   8   7  2    64       KAMIKAZI (533)
 GROPING CHICKENS 3972         5   2  1    64       ALMOST! (316)
 TROJAN MAN 5710              14   8  3    63       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 SKIRZA SLAPSTIK 5996         13   8  0    63       THE FALLEN (524)
 CLURACAN 6035                11   2  0    63       THE DREAMING (529)
 REAPER 6150                   7   3  0    63       KAMIKAZI (533)
 SHADOW STARR 5999            10  11  1    60       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 LUCIFERI 6018                 7   1  0    54       THE BREW CREW (526)
 PIGFEED PICKTAN 6124         10   3  0    51       ANARKYSTS (341)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ... A HORSE 6304              5   1  1    51       PORN IN A BARN (551)
 GAMBIT 6161                   4   5  2    51       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 TIGERWOLF 6366                2   1  0    51       WOLFCATS (556)
 KILL'EM KREPP 5892           10   5  0    50       ANARKYSTS (341)
 MARCIE 6076                   5  10  1    48       BABES (416)
 BATTERING RAM 6198            5   1  0    48       ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)
 FUNKY COLD MEDINA 6154        3   5  0    48       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 THE LOVE BELOW 6187           5   1  1    47       THE DREAMING (529)
 TITANIC 178                   9   9  0    46       PAST TENSE (28)
 SPEKTER 4921                  5   4  0    46       KARNIVORZ (455)
 SLAYIN STAYNER 5891          10   5  1    45       ANARKYSTS (341)
 SLASHIN' SPECK 5854           9  16  2    45       ANARKYSTS (341)
 SUBZERO 6120                  9   4  2    45       KAMIKAZI (533)
 OBSIDIA 4001                  6   1  1    44       CLAN BATTLEAXE (347)
 DEVASTATOR 6079               9   8  0    43       THE FALLEN (524)
 TIMBER LION 6370              2   0  0    41       WOLFCATS (556)
 BROWN KITTY TOO 6118          7   6  1    40       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 PIXIE DUST 6308               5   2  0    38       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 CHIEF BLING-BLING$ 6091       4   6  0    35       THE DREAMING (529)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 INDESTRUCTIBLE IV 1350        4   3  0    33       PAST TENSE (28)
 SANDPAPER CONDOM 6311         3   4  1    33       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 HAY RIDE 6305                 4   2  0    32       PORN IN A BARN (551)
 MONKEY SHINE 5927             4   1  0    31       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 MISCOUNT 6090                 2   3  0    31       THE CHADS (482)
 SCORPINE 6119                 8   5  0    30       KAMIKAZI (533)
 FRANKENSLOSH 5901             5   2  0    30       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 ILSARIA 4004                  4   4  0    30       CLAN BATTLEAXE (347)
 ANOTHER BLANKEE 6117          6   7  0    29       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 SKUNK #1 5719                 5   4  0    29       MY BEST BUDS (505)
 P.R.U.W. 6328                 4   1  0    29       BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)
 UNBORN 6205                   1   0  0    29       EXQUISITE CORPS II (546)
 PRINCE OF LIES 6171           5   6  0    27       REVELATION (543)
 KRUNK MONKEY 5939             2   3  0    27       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
 THE BEAST 6296                4   1  0    26       REVELATION (543)
 FURIOUS INHALER 4047          2   2  0    26       ALMOST! (316)
 HORIZONTAL POLKA 6191         3   0  0    25       THE BREW CREW (526)
 DIRECAT 6368                  1   0  0    25       WOLFCATS (556)
 CHEETAH'S GROWL 6367          1   0  0    25       WOLFCATS (556)
 BLACKJACK 6163                4   3  2    24       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 SUICIDE SLUSH 6388            3   0  1    24       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-PALADIN 5410                  4   6  0    23       ERRATA (490)
 FREAKY FRED 4920              4   3  0    23       KARNIVORZ (455)
-JACK RIPPER 4651              3   1  1    23       THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)
 GITO GITO HUSTLER 6291        3   1  0    23       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
 DONNA THE HUNTRESS 6307       1   6  0    23       THE FALLEN (524)
-SUZIE SHORT 6317              2   0  0    22       NORTHSIDE BULLOCKS (552)
 KIZZY LYNNE 6375              2   1  0    21       BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)
 SUPER SIZE ME 6347            2   1  0    20       PAST TENSE (28)
-STRAW GOLEM 6197              2   2  0    20       ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)
-CAVEMAN 4652                  2   2  0    20       THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)
 NEW RED BLANKET 6338          4   1  1    19       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 RIZZLE-DIZZLE 5923            4   1  0    19       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
 SPATHIC 6189                  3   2  0    19       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
 THAI-STICK 5720               3   0  0    19       MY BEST BUDS (505)
 LADY SCARE ALL 4922           2   2  0    19       KARNIVORZ (455)
 DREAD FOOL 6410               2   1  0    19       FORTIFEX (540)
 FLYING BLADE 6196             3   3  0    18       ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)
 WASTEM WUORNOS 6123           1  12  1    18       ANARKYSTS (341)
-CLOVER 5959                   3   7  0    17       ERRATA (490)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MELANCHOLY BLYSS 6464         1   0  0    17       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 SALLY 6426                    2   1  0    15       SCARRY TEAM (325)
 NEON'S MAMMA 6376             2   1  0    15       BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)
 MORAXX 6292                   3   3  0    14       FORTIFEX (540)
 PSYCHO 6017                   2   6  0    14       THE BREW CREW (526)
 YERN'N FER'N URN 1508         2   4  0    14       PAST TENSE (28)
-LUCA 4653                     2   2  0    14       THE CRIMSON TIDE (426)
 HAIL MARY 6389                1   1  0    14       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 CORPSE COUNT 4923             1   3  0    13       KARNIVORZ (455)
 RECOUNT 6333                  1   0  0    13       THE CHADS (482)
 JINGLE BELLE 6442             2   0  0    12       HELL'S BELLES (562)
 THE LAMB 6293                 2   3  0    12       REVELATION (543)
 ANNA BELLE 6443               1   1  0    12       HELL'S BELLES (562)
 FRENCH HAMSTER 6294           3   2  0    11       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 BOOK-AKIE 6466                1   0  1    11       ALMOST! (316)
 I.B. KLONIN 6408              1   1  0    10       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 BENANDANTI 6467               1   0  0    10       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 RAVEN DARKHART 6465           1   0  0    10       BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)
-DANCING BONES 6194            2   2  1     9       ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)
-PROBLEM 5977                  2   2  0     8       ERRATA (490)
-DIVIT 5974                    1   3  0     8       ERRATA (490)
 JEALOUSY RAINS 6380           1   3  1     7       THE FALLEN (524)
 RED DRAGON 6474               1   0  1     7       REVELATION (543)
 SOUTHERN BELLE 6440           1   1  0     7       HELL'S BELLES (562)
 VENUS 6359                    0   3  0     7       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 SWAN PRINCESS 6373            1   2  1     6       LITTLE GIRLS LIKE... (515)
 BEEZLE 4924                   1   3  0     6       KARNIVORZ (455)
-BENNY LANG 6315               1   1  0     6       NORTHSIDE BULLOCKS (552)
 PEEPING TOMCAT 6469           1   0  0     6       PORN IN A BARN (551)
 RING MY BELLE 6441            1   1  1     5       HELL'S BELLES (562)
 FRANNIE FOX 6424              1   2  0     5       SCARRY TEAM (325)
 KEYONA 6461                   1   0  0     5       THE DREAMING (529)
 LOWLY WORM 6427               1   2  0     5       SCARRY TEAM (325)
 CUX 6479                      1   0  0     5       CLAN BATTLEAXE II (550)
 BROKEN BELLE 6444             1   1  0     4       HELL'S BELLES (562)
 PANIC ATTACK 6455             1   1  0     4       FORTIFEX (540)
 LANCE ARMSTRONG 6422          0   3  0     3       LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)
 BANANA GORILLA 5276           0   3  0     3       SCARRY TEAM (325)
 ELIZABETH RABBIT 6425         0   3  0     3       SCARRY TEAM (325)
 VEROCITY 6450                 0   2  0     2       CLAN BATTLEAXE II (550)
-MELISSA 6204                  0   2  0     2       EXQUISITE CORPS II (546)
-RUTTIN BIGGS 6316             0   2  0     2       NORTHSIDE BULLOCKS (552)
 ONE TRICK PONY 6468           0   1  0     1       PORN IN A BARN (551)
 ACAPULCO GOLD 6363            0   1  0     1       MY BEST BUDS (505)
 PANAMA RED 5718               0   1  0     1       MY BEST BUDS (505)
 DOUBLE TOKER 6364             0   1  0     1       MY BEST BUDS (505)
-SILICON CARNE 6298            0   1  0     1       EXQUISITE CORPS II (546)
 NICOLE RICHIE 6463            0   1  0     1       THE BREW CREW (526)
 HEAVY MENTAL 6457             0   1  0     1       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 CHERYL 6447                   0   1  0     1       BABES (416)
 SPAWN 6462                    0   1  0     1       THE BREW CREW (526)
 DANGLING 6459                 0   1  0     1       THE CHADS (482)
 INFANTIA MERETRIX 6473        0   1  0     1       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-IMMORTAL LEMMING 5971         0   1  0     1       102 MUTATIONS (522)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
METHMATIC 6471         0  1 0 5440 OR FIGHT! 336    RIPPLES DORRIGAN 23   463 NONE    
JUJU HAND 6348         0  2 0 5440 OR FIGHT! 336    THE LOVE BELOW 6187   460         
SUGAR 6472             0  1 0 BABES 416             MOUNTAIN TROLL 18     463 NONE    
CLAUDIA 6454           0  1 0 BABES 416             RED DRAGON 6474       463         
ARACHNE 5712           6  5 0 BLIND HYPOCRISY 504   DRIVER 6055           459 REVENGED

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
CONFESSION 6003        6  6 0 BLIND HYPOCRISY 504   SHAWNDA 6032          459 REVENGED
TRAITOR SCUM 6446      0  1 0 BOOKIE'S BROTHEL 554  RILLION 21            463 NONE    
PREGNANT 6460          0  1 0 THE CHADS 482         BOOK-AKIE 6466        463         
MR. AVERAGE 6477       0  1 0 CLAN BATTLEAXE 347    WURM KIN 27           463 NONE    
DEAD 6478              0  1 0 CLAN BATTLEAXE 347    SUPERIOR MANAGER 22   463 NONE    
VAELIN 6395            0  3 0 CLAN BATTLEAXE 347    SUICIDE SLUSH 6388    463         
SOMATRON 6143          3  4 0 FORTIFEX 540          SUBZERO 6120          463         
MR. CHAOS 6411         0  3 0 FORTIFEX 540          WASTEM WUORNOS 6123   463         
QUEEN SLEEZ 6142       1  2 0 FORTIFEX 540          SUBZERO 6120          460         
QUAGULA 6386           0  1 0 FORTIFEX 540          JEALOUSY RAINS 6380   460 REVENGED
KLK HUNTER 6409        0  1 0 FORTIFEX 540          SWAN PRINCESS 6373    461 REVENGED
CLUTCH SHUTTLE 6060    4  3 0 HELTER SKELTER 256    GAMBIT 6161           461         
FUNKY BAT MONKEY 6470  0  1 0 LEGENDARY BASTARD 259 HIGH ELF 19           463 NONE    
ELECTRA 6413           0  2 0 LITTLE GIRLS LIKE 515 EVIL JOHN KERRY 25    463 NONE    
FLOGGIN' MOLLY 6445    0  1 0 MEMPHIS MAFIA II 542  SUPERIOR MANAGER 22   463 NONE    
AMANDA LEWIS 6313      0  1 0 NORTHSIDE BULLOCK 552 NEW RED BLANKET 6338  459 NOT REVE
TEN PACKS A DAY 6346   1  1 1 PAST TENSE 28         SLASHIN' SPECK 5854   461 JUST REV
NERVOUS SHEEP 6407     0  1 0 PORN IN A BARN 551    BLACK ORC 20          463 NONE    
THE LAST TRUMP 6173    7  3 1 REVELATION 543        GROPING CHICKENS 3972 462 JUST REV
JOSH 6476              0  1 0 SPACE WOLVES 523      SLIPPERS MCGHEE 24    463 NONE    
SUNGOD 6451            0  1 0 SUICIDAL DREAMS 525   SLIPPERS MCGHEE 24    463 NONE    
SNOW CRASH 6218        1  2 0 TWISTED 548           GAMBIT 6161           459 NOT REVE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Huggy -- Congrats on the throne.  Maybe I can get one of my guys up there to compete
with you! -- Polarius

Matrix -- I have just moved a team into 10.  I'll be activating it shortly. --
Polarius

Bookie -- Did you say that Matrix's guys go down?  *Shrug*  I'll keep away from them.
-- Polarius

Rillion -- Is it true that you gave Bookie a wrong style at the Face?  Hmmm...says a
lot about your Andorian honor. -- Polarius

Jekyll -- Watch out...it sounds like Youngblood is coming after you. *grin* --
Polarius

Bookie -- Blitzkrieg is a type of warfare.  Yes, it is generally associated with the
Nazi's but it was also used by Patton and most recently in Iraq.  You mentioned that
I advocate a "Pro-America" message, shouldn't we all? -- Polarius

Toad -- New epee, 25 astrums.  New Scimitar, 125 astrums.  Exposing John Kerry as the
evil slayer from the dark that he is, priceless. -- Polarius

Jekyll -- That was kinda cruel sending P-Diddy's Daddy to the dark arena.  You better
watch out, you don't want him and Youngblood after you!  *another grin* -- Polarius

Jhans -- It is true, I am not the same Beast as the warhammer toting, pizza eating,
former mayor of Jhans.  I do have some fond memories of people impersonating him
though! -- Beast

Jhans -- You may think that because of my namesake I will quickly surrender my team's
flag.  I can assure you I will not.  (straightens his beret, adjusts his Virginia
Slim) -- French Hamster

Frankenslosh -- Sometimes gettin' some of that Love Below isn't all it's cracked up
to be! -- Polarius

Bookie -- Someone killed The Last Trump, I think it was chicken groper or choker...
TLT died in my arms before he could tell me who it was. -- Polarius

Cosmo -- It would seem that Bookie has a fixation with my wife, or maybe it is just
the name "Kerry" that does things for him. -- Polarius

Jekyll -- The gloves are off. -- Pdiddy

Cosmo -- Sorry, got to go for the win, nothing personal. -- Pdiddy

KLK Members -- Time to show everybody whose house they in. -- Pdiddy

Outloud -- Believe the hype. (dusts shoulder off) -- Pdiddy, Lord and Master of The
Dreaming

Bookie -- Glad to see you as Duel Master, it warms my little cold black heart to see
such a sight. -- Pdiddy

Street Legal/Skunk #1 -- Hehe.  Ok, so you took three from Sandpaper.  So you're a
good scum.  That was dirty to take three but I woulda done the same thing.  *grin*
Let's see well you do when it's on MY challenge.  *evil grin*  Who goin' chicken
huntin'?  We's goin' chicken huntin'!!! -- Bookie and Sandpaper Condom

Rillion -- So, where you goin' with the TV challenge?  I think that's the million
dollar question.  Why don't you bring out the fodder part of your team so we can have
some fun holdin' a brotha down.  *grin* -- Bookie
P.S.  If it comes down to Ultra and you...it ain't gonna be you.

Legendary Bastards -- Was dat War Beast in the Beastie Boys video?  Where'd he get
the cowboy outfit?  And when did Beast start playing D like Shaq?  Wow...the mayor's
been busy. -- Bookie

Luca -- I got your 'silly sausage' right here.... -- Blackjack
P.S.  If you knew who the warrior was named after you'd get it...freakin' British DJ.
*shudder*

Chester -- You sure you wanna run through Toad's garden?  Probably nothing of
interest there.  Now Street Legal's garden...now that would be a nice TRIP. -- bookie
P.S.  Sorry I've not been very diligent about correspondence.  The contest and life
and injuries have been consuming my time as of late.  I'll try to work on that.

Lady A-Sop -- Always a pleasure to have you amongst us.  You're my sentimental
favorite to win the contest. *grin* -- bookie

Shocking Toad -- Hmmm, guess you noticed Bookie named me after the little girl's name
you used in pink bear's spotlight.  Question:  the little girl fictional or that your
real daughter?  It's a pretty cool name.  That's why Bookie used it.  There's no
offense meant if I'm named after your real daughter, just so ya know. -- Kizzy Lynne,
who likes her name

The Love Below -- Like can crushing don't you?  Must be into recycling.  Lol. --
Bookie

Guardian -- You DA'd me?  Was I that bad?  Geesh.  When you DA someone do you like
'em or hate 'em?  Just wanna know where I stand. *grin* -- Bookie, thinking of DA'ing
a Guardian himself

Cosmic Charlie -- Hey.  How goes the Froth Circle?  Anybody left?  Is Scrag bailing?
Are you bailing?  What?  Huh?  Exactly.  That's what I thought you'd say.  *grin* --
bookie

Youngblood -- Glad you could join us.  Sold any dem gems on the forum yet?  lol

*shudder*  Wheh bro, those were sorta nasty.  And I bet if you sell a team one of the
rooks will be like +16 and you never knew it.  That's just how the DM ball bounces.
-- Bookie

Another Blankee -- Float like a tanked up butterfly...epee sting like a bee. --
Shadow Starr

Kerry Bear -- Ok, dagger girl.  You got me.  At least I didn't teach you anything! --
Badda Bamm
P.S.  Tell Union Jack I'm gonna set his flag on fire....

Matrix -- No deaths.  Now that's a step in the right direction!  Where's your buds?
I don't think one person alone can be chaos.  One person is a mental patient.  A
group is chaos.  One of your boys talks smack who isn't here and than everyone else
bails on you.  Don't you feel special?  lol  Your boys have left you for the
sacrificial lamb.  Geesh that blows.  If I were you I'd call a meeting...I'd at least
call my brother.  *grin* -- Bookie

Ultra -- Well I ambushed ya.  Yea.  I did.  Yea I challenged when you hadn't run the
turn before.  *shrug*  Can't let you jump out strong.  I know what you're capable of.
But don't worry, I'm with you when it comes to you know who. *points at The Chads
guildhouse* *grin* -- Bookie
P.S.  Yah, payback's a pain but that's half the fun.  Ten turns of hell....

Beezle -- What was that?  You're just as lazy as my son!  He couldn't finish what he
started either!  *sigh*  What's a mother to do? -- Neon's Mamma

The Lamb -- You fight pretty ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-d. -- Pixie Dust

Youngblood -- Just wondering.  How many Belle names CAN you have? -- bookie

Jeckyll -- Oh I can't believe you went there with that DA warrior.  And why did you
DA it?  You completely lost out on the P-Daddy's Daddy vs. Neon's Mamma fight.  That
woulda been classic.  *sigh*  Alas, it's not to be.  Guess we'll have to smack
Suicide Slush around instead.  *grin* -- Bookie
P.S.  I know what you're doing....and it's not gonna help you....

Mithril -- Hey man...how about sending in PA's?  Put down the beer and type
something! -- Bookie

Polarius -- Where's Rabbit?  Better question...where's Rabbit's daughter? -- bookie
P.S.  still owe you a love-tap

Nunzio -- Are you there or on maintenance?  You awake...hello...hello...hello...is
there anybody in there?  Just nod if you can hear me.... -- Bookie

Toad -- Evil John Kerry.  LoL  Ok, it was your choice.  I'd preferred you named it
after yourself but that's still pretty damn funny.  Hats off, you right-wing nut-job!
*grin*  Just playin'.  You ain't that bad...I guess.  *evil grin* -- bookie

All -- As I have no com-pu-ter, I now must say to the people at the face, I enjoyed
hanging with most of you.  Can't wait till next time. -- Azrael
P.S.  You got the real me at the face, but now the arrogant, obnoxious, conceited
Azrael of the personal ads is back.

Mithril -- Hey bro, you were a blast to chill with at the face, drunk as you were.
But anyway me and P-diddi discussed it on the way home and anytime you want a black
and red KLK shirt, we got one waiting for you.  (That's an invite to the alliance in
case you're not sober.  *grin*) -- Azrael

Matrix -- Well met, sir.  I know you run in that sad excuse for an alliance (Chaos)

*smile* out of loyalty to your brother, but if you ever want it, I got a shirt for
you too. -- Azrael
P.S.  You and your brother are cool.  Glad I met you.

Bli -- (closed)  DoomCorp (open) -- ink *  Did I miss something? -- Azrael

Sylvester/LeMase (I think that's how it's spelled) or whatever you're calling
yourself now -- Good meeting you at the face, bro. -- Azrael
P.S.  Congrats on your T.C. as well.
P.P.S.  I hope I'm talking to the right guy.

Chester -- Welcome back, dude.  I'm not much into people's moms but sisters and
cousins (female) of yours send on over.  As long as they ain't fat.  You can turn the
lights off for ugly.  Can't do nuthin' 'bout fat tho'. -- Azrael

Youngblood -- Welcome to the fold. -- Azrael

Sungod -- Come on dude, you know you want to join. -- Azrael
P.S.  Thanx for your help at the face guys.

Sir Chester -- Got the package.  Thank you! -- Shocking Toad

There comes a time in your life when you have a moment of clarity.  When the fog is
lifted and people can be seen for exactly who they are.  For what they are.  Some
people you simply can not trust.  They are the people who'd pull away from you during
a farewell and ignore you with no second thought.  They are the people who will not
stand by your side.  They are people who lie about their views just because there
might be something to gain from it.  They are the people who father children out of
wedlock just because it is what suits them.  They are humanists.  They only worship
themselves.  They are the scum of world hidden behind kind eyes and soft voices and
the faint echoes of lies that resonate through their very being for lies are at the
core of them.  Time for retribution is upon us.  Upon you all.  If you thought
'Bookie' was bad...you don't wanna know me.  Damnation to you all. -- Talon Darkhart,
mgr. Suicidal Dreams

30 July 2004
The total number of fights calculated was reported as 250 fights.  This is a
misprint.  It should have read "over 2,500 fights." -- Baphomet

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

ELECTRA was butchered by EVIL JOHN KERRY in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
MR. AVERAGE was slaughtered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
SUNGOD was luckily killed by  SLIPPERS MCGHEE in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
SUGAR was barely slain by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 2 minute Dark Arena brawl.
TRAITOR SCUM was slain by RILLION in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Dark Arena match.
FLOGGIN' MOLLY was slaughtered by SUPERIOR MANAGER in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
NERVOUS SHEEP was butchered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
FUNKY BAT MONKEY was butchered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena competition.
METHMATIC was assassinated by RIPPLES DORRIGAN in a 1 minute Dark Arena melee.
DEAD was slaughtered by SUPERIOR MANAGER in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
JOSH was slaughtered by SLIPPERS MCGHEE in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
BLOOD MOON vanquished GROPING CHICKENS in a 1 minute one-sided Bloodfeud fight.
TROJAN MAN slimly lost to SHAWNDA in a 2 minute Bloodfeud bout.
KRUNK MONKEY was overpowered by THE LOVE BELOW in a 1 minute Bloodfeud match.
SOMATRON was butchered by SUBZERO in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud conflict.
INDESTRUCTIBLE IV demolished SLASHIN' SPECK in a 1 minute mismatched Bloodfeud match.
DONNA savagely defeated OBLIVIOUS in a popular 3 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
MISCOUNT defeated YERN'N FER'N URN in a action packed 1 minute Challenge struggle.
MAD MILKSTER handily defeated HUGGY BEAR in a 1 minute Challenge Title bout.
MISERY was devastated by CREEPSHOW KILLER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge brawl.
MORACH RAZH was savagely defeated by UNION JACK in a 6 minute brutal Challenge match.
SKIRZA SLAPSTIK was savagely defeated by KERRY BEAR in a 3 minute Challenge match.
BADDA BAMM bested TITANIC in a popular 1 minute Challenge bout.
LUCIFERI unbelievably bested MARCIE in a popular 3 minute gruesome Challenge match.
SHADOW STARR vanquished MONKEY SHINE in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fray.
FUNKY COLD MEDINA was luckily beaten by CLURACAN in a 4 minute Challenge match.
PIXIE DUST vanquished THE LAMB in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
DONNA THE HUNTRESS was vanquished by TIMBER LION in a 6 minute Challenge fight.
RIZZLE-DIZZLE won victory over BEEZLE in a 6 minute Challenge bout.
BROKEN BELLE lost to CORPSE COUNT in a action packed 4 minute novice's Challenge fray.
ANNA BELLE handily defeated ELIZABETH RABBIT in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
SUICIDE SLUSH assassinated VAELIN in a action packed 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
SUPER SIZE ME was savagely defeated by CHIEF BLING-BLING$ in a 3 minute match.
MR. CHAOS was killed by WASTEM WUORNOS in a 2 minute novice vs. master Challenge fray.
JEALOUSY RAINS was vanquished by FURIOUS INHALER in a 1 minute Challenge fight.
HAIL MARY demolished VEROCITY in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
NEW RED BLANKET beat FRANNIE FOX in a exciting 1 minute novice's Challenge fray.
LANCE ARMSTRONG was subdued by SOUTHERN BELLE in a 4 minute Challenge conflict.
DREAD FOOL won victory over FRENCH HAMSTER in a 2 minute novice's Challenge bout.
HORIZONTAL POLKA vanquished LOWLY WORM in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge bout.
WHIRLING MIST subdued DRIVER in a 2 minute competition.
HANGING vanquished CY in a 1 minute one-sided match.
BADDA BANG was subdued by HUNGOVER in a crowd pleasing 3 minute brutal expert's duel.
KILL'EM KREPP was overcome by REAPER in a 2 minute duel.
PSYCHO PROCTOLOGIST viciously subdued SPEKTER in a crowd pleasing 2 minute fight.
DEVASTATOR was unbelievably bested by TIGERWOLF in a crowd pleasing 3 minute melee.
ANOTHER BLANKEE was overpowered by GAMBIT in a 1 minute gory one-sided fight.
... A HORSE viciously subdued THE BEAST in a 2 minute veteran vs. beginner bout.
OBSIDIA won victory over P.R.U.W. in a 3 minute veteran vs. amateur match.
PIGFEED PICKTAN savagely defeated SKUNK #1 in a exciting 3 minute gory battle.
BATTERING RAM overpowered GITO GITO HUSTLER in a 1 minute bloody mismatched conflict.
PRINCE OF LIES was beaten by FRANKENSLOSH in a 3 minute struggle.
BLACKJACK was demolished by SLAYIN STAYNER in a 1 minute mismatched battle.
MORAXX was overpowered by SANDPAPER CONDOM in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.
ILSARIA was subdued by HAY RIDE in a 3 minute contest.
SCORPINE bested FREAKY FRED in a 6 minute bout.
BROWN KITTY TOO overpowered PSYCHO in a popular 1 minute mismatched duel.
FLYING BLADE was defeated by KIZZY LYNNE in a 1 minute brawl.
SPATHIC overcame VENUS in a 2 minute contest.
THAI-STICK outlasted SWAN PRINCESS in a slow 16 minute gruesome match.
NEON'S MAMMA luckily beat PANIC ATTACK in a monotonous 8 minute conflict.
I.B. KLONIN was overcome by RECOUNT in a 2 minute bout.
SALLY devastated NICOLE RICHIE in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
RING MY BELLE was bested by MELANCHOLY BLYSS in a 3 minute beginner's match.
JINGLE BELLE won victory over ONE TRICK PONY in a popular 2 minute novice's bout.
BANANA GORILLA was defeated by PEEPING TOMCAT in a 1 minute beginner's melee.
LADY SCARE ALL overpowered INFANTIA MERETRIX in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
UNBORN won victory over ACAPULCO GOLD in a 2 minute veteran vs. amateur fight.
CHEETAH'S GROWL demolished DANGLING in a 1 minute mismatched duel.
DIRECAT savagely defeated SPAWN in a 2 minute gory veteran vs. novice match.
PREGNANT was assassinated by BOOK-AKIE in a 1 minute gruesome mismatched fight.
KEYONA bested PANAMA RED in a 1 minute amateur's match.
RAVEN DARKHART demolished HEAVY MENTAL in a 1 minute uneven match.
BENANDANTI devastated CHERYL in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
CLAUDIA was slain by RED DRAGON in a 2 minute brutal beginner's duel.
DOUBLE TOKER was overcome by CUX in a 1 minute novice's melee.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  40         TOTAL PARRY       66 -  32 -  1      67  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     18         WALL OF STEEL     38 -  42 -  1      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                  18         LUNGING ATTACK   128 - 144 - 14      47  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 16         AIMED BLOW        31 -  35 -  5      47  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 16         BASHING ATTACK    48 -  55 -  3      47  |
|AIMED BLOW                      12         STRIKING ATTACK   49 -  81 -  7      38  |
|WALL OF STEEL                   11         SLASHING ATTACK   33 -  64 -  2      34  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      5         PARRY-STRIKE      10 -  20 -  1      33  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     3         PARRY-LUNGE        7 -  17 -  0      29  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      4 -  26 -  1      13  |

Turn 463 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

TOTAL PARRY       15 -  3     LUNGING ATTACK    15 - 25         3  BASHING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         9 -  3     SLASHING ATTACK    3 - 13         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  1     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  9         2  TOTAL PARRY    
BASHING ATTACK    10 -  8     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  5         1  STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
STRIKING ATTACK    8 -  8                                       1  WALL OF STEEL  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   MAD MILKSTER 5052          15   6  2  111 LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)
LUNGING ATTACK   DONNA 5966                 12   6  0  128 BABES (416)
TOTAL PARRY      OBLIVIOUS 6101             10   3  0   96 KAMIKAZI (533)
STRIKING ATTACK  KERRY BEAR 3994            13  10  1   89 BLITZKRIEG (271)
AIMED BLOW       HUNGOVER 3723              15   3  0   84 ALMOST! (316)
SLASHING ATTACK  CY 6234                     8   5  0   74 CLAN BATTLEAXE II (550)
WALL OF STEEL    SKIRZA SLAPSTIK 5996       13   8  0   63 THE FALLEN (524)
PARRY-LUNGE      SPEKTER 4921                5   4  0   46 KARNIVORZ (455)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is KERRY BEAR 3994.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was FUNKY COLD MEDINA 6154.  The ten other most popular fighters were BROKEN BELLE 
6444, BADDA BANG 6013, DONNA 5966, KERRY BEAR 3994, ONE TRICK PONY 6468, SUGAR 6472, 
MARCIE 6076, DONNA THE HUNTRESS 6307, PSYCHO PROCTOLOGIST 3675, and DEVASTATOR 6079.

The least popular fighter this week was THAI-STICK 5720.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were SWAN PRINCESS 6373, NEON'S MAMMA 6376, RIZZLE-DIZZLE 5923, SCORPINE 
6119, TIMBER LION 6370, PANIC ATTACK 6455, DOUBLE TOKER 6364, CHERYL 6447, HEAVY 
MENTAL 6457, and PANAMA RED 5718.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

MAD MILKSTER (36-5052) LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)

                                FACE-TO-FACE XXXIV

     Our next Winter Face-to-Face will be held on Martin Luther King weekend, Friday 
through Sunday, 14-16 January 2005, at the Embassy Suites in Tempe, Arizona (4400 S 
Rural Rd--this is the same hotel as last year).  Room rates are $139.00 per night, 
1-4 occupancy, which includes breakfast.  The rooms are blocked.  The reservations 
number is 480-897-7444; tell them you're with the "Reality Simulations Face to Face 
Convention" block.  Our room block will be released in mid-December, so please make 
sure you reserve your room before then! 
     Room rates include a full cooked-to-order breakfast and a complimentary two-hour 
manager's reception.  There is a free shuttle to the airport, as well as free parking.  
The hotel is located down the freeway in Tempe.  All rooms have high speed internet 
(for an extra charge).  There is a fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool, and of course a 
bar and Mexican restaurant inside the hotel.  And there's Denny's right across the 
street.  Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet.
     The tournament information sheet/strategy sheet should be out sometime in late 
November/early December. 
     If you haven't been to a Face-to-Face before, you're overdue.  If you have, 
you'll be back.  Don't miss this one, it'll be a blast!  See you there! 

                                          -- Green Eyes and the RSI Staff