DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 02/17/2005    Duedate: 03/02/2005

JHANS ARENA

DM-36    TURN-476

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

SANDPAPER CONDOM
MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
(36-6311) [11-6-2,126]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

SANDPAPER CONDOM               ALPHA
MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)         COLONY (575)
(36-6311) [11-6-2,126]         (36-6675) [3-1-0,56]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

SLAYIN STAYNER                 BADDA BAMM
ANARKYSTS (341)                SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
(36-5891) [14-14-1,65]         (36-6075) [15-13-0,92]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

HELTER SKELTER (256)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. HELTER SKELTER (256)        63
2. SPACE WOLVES (523)          59      THE CHADS (482)
3. WARRIOR'S (580)             44      Unchartered Team
4. LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)    35
5. SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)       31      WARRIOR'S (580)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*WARRIOR'S (580)            4   1  0 80.0   1/ 3 HELTER SKELTER (256)     11  4 1
 2- 1 WOLFCATS (556)            35  13  1 72.9   2/ 7 SPACE WOLVES (523)       10  5 0
 3/ 2 THE CHADS (482)          113  72  6 61.1   3/ 8 REVELATION (543)         10  5 0
 4- 3 SKATE DRAGONS (500)       43  29  4 59.7   4/ 5 BLITZKRIEG (271)          9  4 1
 5/ 4 REVELATION (543)         134  91  8 59.6   5/ 2 PORN IN A BARN (551)      8  4 1
 6- 5 5440 OR FIGHT! (336)     243 209 35 53.8   6/ 6 LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)  7  5 1
 7- 6 STDS (534)                25  22  2 53.2   7/ 4 THE FALLEN (524)          7  8 1
 8/ 8 LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259) 312 279 22 52.8   8/ 1 THE DREAMING (529)        6  9 0
 9/10 HELTER SKELTER (256)     539 502 33 51.8   9/19 ERRATA (490)              5  4 0
10/11 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     80  75  5 51.6  10/18 MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)    5 10 1
11/13 BLITZKRIEG (271)         185 174 15 51.5  11/21*COLONY (575)              5 10 0
12/ 7 THE DREAMING (529)        59  57  4 50.9  12/25 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     5 10 0
13/12 KAMIKAZI (533)            68  68  4 50.0  13-12 5440 OR FIGHT! (336)      4  1 0
14/14 PORN IN A BARN (551)      44  46  4 48.9  14/ 0*WARRIOR'S (580)           4  1 0
15-15 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     69  75 10 47.9  15-13 STDS (534)                4  2 0
16/17 THE FALLEN (524)          77  84  6 47.8  16/17 SCARRY TEAM (325)         4  5 0
17-16 KARNIVORZ (455)           20  22  1 47.6  17/11 ANARKYSTS (341)           4  9 0
18/19 ANARKYSTS (341)          355 417 37 46.0  18- 9*CHOP'S PRIDE (573)        3  5 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19-20 UNKNOWNS VII (509)        22  27  2 44.9  19/10 KAMIKAZI (533)            3 11 0
20/18 THE BEARS (565)           18  23  4 43.9  20/22 THE BEARS (565)           2  2 1
21/21 MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)    40  52  9 43.5  21-15 WOLFCATS (556)            2  2 0
22-22 BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)    27  36  2 42.9  22-14 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     2  3 1
23-23*CHOP'S PRIDE (573)         8  11  0 42.1  23/16 THE CHADS (482)           2  3 0
24/24 SCARRY TEAM (325)        147 214  4 40.7  24-24 BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)    2  3 0
25/25*COLONY (575)               8  12  0 40.0  25-23 SKATE DRAGONS (500)       1  0 0
26/27 SPACE WOLVES (523)        11  20  0 35.5  26-20*TEAM SKARABRAE (571)      1  4 0
27/26 ERRATA (490)              26  49  1 34.7  27/ 0*SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)   0  5 0
28-28*TEAM SKARABRAE (571)       4  16  0 20.0  28-28 KARNIVORZ (455)           0  1 0
29/ 0*SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)    0   5  0  0.0  29-27 UNKNOWNS VII (509)        0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

     The steel-bound oaken door slammed shut and the sounds of running footsteps
echoed down the pine-board floor of the hallway.  Doors opened and then slammed again
and the warrior peered in each room.
     "Dude, hold it down!" a man's voice shouted as one of the doors swung inward.
     "Sorry, Pundit, I'm looking for Baphomet; you seen him?" the warrior asked.
     "Check his office; now go away!" Pundit responded seriously.
     Rising from the bed as he felt the other looking around the room, he noticed a
series of parchments tucked inside the other warrior's belt.  Curiosity would one day
get the better of him, but today he'd take his chances.
     "Hey, Slam-Bang," Pundit said, "whatcha got there?"
     Looking confused for a moment, Slam-Bang had to think before he realized Pundit
was talking about the arena news he'd picked up earlier that day.  Reaching inside
his belt he pulled the parchments out and handed them to Pundit.
     "Read 'em yourself," Slam-Bang said.
     While Pundit read the parchments, his face went through a series of expressions.
One second his eyebrows would shoot heavenward.  The next, he would be scowling like
he was preparing for battle.  Lastly, he began to laugh so hard he almost fell of the
bed.
     "Dude," Pundit said finally.  "Baphomet ain't gonna like this at all!"
     "Yer telling me!" Slam-Bang exclaimed.  "And if I know anything about his
temper, he ain't gonna let that dude get away with that!"
     "Get away with what?" a voice behind them asked, surprising them so fiercely
Slam-Bang leaped backwards across the bed and sprawled on the floor.  Aemelius had
asked the question but now all the warriors were doubled up in laughter.
     "Here...here...read...read it yourself!"  Pundit tossed the parchments to the
warriors and fell across the bed in a fit of laughter.
     August picked up the pages that fell on the floor and began reading them,
passing on a page as he finished to the next.  This series continued until all the
warriors had read the arena news.  All of them stood stone faced except August whose
mouth just hung open.  Turning around, he left the room carrying the parchment.  The
others hurried to follow him down the hall in the direction of Baphomet's office.
     Opening the door, August marched right up to me.  I looked up from the paperwork
that I, as manager of this Chop's Pride stable, was required to do.  The look on
August's face made me do a double-take.  I supposed this paperwork could wait.
     "What is it?" I asked, concerned.
     "Baphomet, you better read this."  August held out the parchment to me.
     Taking the papers, I began to read with interest.  I'd been hoping the arena
news would be received soon.  This would help fill me in on things as I was putting a
lot of miles on the new pegasi I'd bought.  It looked a little worn out lately.  As I
read, I began to feel my blood pressure rising.  Surprise, then anger, then amusement
burst from my psyche.  This idiot actually thought he was going to talk to me and my
friends and I was going to let it go at that?
     'Hmm...' I thought, 'how to best get him and let him know he is in for some
serious drama...hmmmm.'
     I broke out in laughter.  As I did, the tension that was building in the office
subsided.  Disappearing like a black mist, the warriors felt it leave as well.
     "Well..." I said, "seems like our plans will have to be changed after all."
     "Whatcha planning on doing?" Savoir Faire asked slowly.
     "Well, first this little redneck is gonna have to understand that inbreds ain't
near as smart as the rest of us.  So, we do a little bit to push his buttons.  You
see, a cool head will always win the day.  Never let your emotions get outta hand.
That's taking defeat by the horns.  Then we find way to strip him of his dignity.
Shame is a terrible enemy.  What we have to do is catch him and his siblings doing
the dirty in the hayloft.  So, spies will have to be hired.  Another lesson you need
to know, if you want to know your enemy...gather information about him.  This will
give you an edge.  Then we starve the rascal.  All we gotta do is check the roads and
scrape up all the roadkill and bury it.  He'll be so weak he won't be able to fight.
     "But, Baphomet, we might do damage to some of our allies if we do that!"
Aemilius exclaimed.
     "Don't worry; I'll take care of them," I assured him.
     "Now, go get some rest.  I've got some planning to do."

Baphomet, mgr. Chop's Pride

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

Managers of Jhans,

This is the first turn of the Second Annual kLk St. Valentine's Massacre Kill
Contest.  I want to give ever one a good luck before the contest gets kicked off and
I hope everyone has a smurfy...what the froth, where did that come from?  Anyway I
hope everyone has a good time and that the death toll becomes totally smurfy...what
the hell?  I mean gets totally out of hand.  Froth it, I'm done.

                                                                       Be Smurfy,
aarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                                                                        Just Die,
                                                                         Azrael

Why do I keep saying smurfy?  What the froth is a SMURF?!?  And why do I suddenly
want to bed a blonde haired, blue skinned chick for?

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

"Man that is born of woman is of few days, and full of trouble."  These are wise
words indeed, the author, however, never considered female gladiators on the sands!
As I make my way to the Isle as an immortal, I look back to my time in COSMOworld and
am proud of what I have accomplished.  If you ask my manager he would say that I have
over achieved.  I'd like to thank Skirza, my popular battles with her have allowed me
to fight without charge for quite a while now.  I'd also like to give a nod to
Reaper, good try, just not good enough.  (Hope those Scimitar crits to the face
didn't leave a scar.)  I have one turn, one challenge, left in COSMOworld.  I will
give TLB a shot at the throne, since he isn't going to get a chance to bloodfeud my
teammate.  Now let's just see if he is avoiding me!

Kerry Bear
Blitzkrieg

                                      SPY REPORT

     So why do I have this bag over my head?  Because I am The Unknown Spymaster and 
I'm going to give you a spy report!.  Say good-bye to THE DREAMING, as they are 
pushed from the coveted top team spot by the HELTER SKELTER stable.  Take a look at 
SUICIDAL DREAMS' act, as they have a 3-2-0 week and gain 13 places in the team 
ranking.  It was a tough week for CHOP'S PRIDE, to drop 9 places in the rankings.  
LEGENDARY BASTARDS is no joke as it posted a 3-1-1 week advancing from 6th place to 
6th place.  Call it luck at the right time or bribes in the right hands, but the new 
team WARRIOR'S scored a 4-1-0 record this week.  Hey everybody, watch out for 
BENANDANTI, who flew up 27 points in the rankings after mashing KILL'EM KREPP like a 
melon.  Keep your eye on this beast.  And falling like a basher in the top ten was 
KILL'EM KREPP, who dropped 20 points after a disappointing (to say the least) bout 
with BENANDANTI.  Well here's a duelmaster that doesn't sit back and say 'Challenge 
me'!  KERRY BEAR made a challenge against THE LOVE BELOW this week.  Well, 
everybody's pal KERRY BEAR moved hers record to 23-13-1 by defeating THE LOVE BELOW 
in the Duelmaster's Title Bout and gaining 14 recognition points.  Can you believe 
they are paying me 10 gold to deliver this stuff?   
     Here is other news that is of note.  And hey, kiddies, those of you who didn't 
avoid HELTER SKELTER, please raise you hand.  Wow.  Does JHANS really have that many 
liars?  For those of you who like math, try this one:  HELTER SKELTER + Weapons That 
go Boom = THE DREAMING + Avoid City.  And who is this SASQUATCH COWBOY you ask, with 
44 points and a 8-5-1 record.  Ooh, the tales I could tell!  Can any one out there 
say 'weasel'?  Oh well, just saying UNION JACK will do.  He challenged 18 points down 
to trash SHAWNDA.  Definition of petty:  UNION JACK beat SHAWNDA, a mismatch of 18 
points.  Well, it looks like DONNA THE HUNTRESS wasn't happy with last turn's rank, 
so she went for broke by challenging up 29 points.  No guts, no glory.  To the 
crowd's chants of 'Bo-zo bo-zo bo-zo', PIGFEED PICKTAN was taken out by the 
lower-ranked DONNA THE HUNTRESS.  (Maybe it's time to think Dark Arena?).  Was it 
guts or an overtaxed mental capacity that had FRANKENSLOSH challenge up 46 points in 
the rankings to take on CLURACAN?  I don't know about you, but when I saw 
FRANKENSLOSH step out on the sands with CLURACAN, I though it was over before it 
started.  Good upset FRANKENSLOSH!  Getting lots of flowers from sympathetic fans was 
KALISTA J'NAE, who was successfully challenged by JIGSAW KILLER who had a mere 20 
points more than KALISTA J'NAE.  Definition of petty:  JIGSAW KILLER won victory over 
KALISTA J'NAE, a mismatch of 20 points.   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  This week 9-9-4 BLACKJACK was sent to the 
Dark Arena.  I know a lot of fighters with similar records who might take notice of 
this.  OLD DIRT MCGIRT defied all odds and slew RILLION in the Dark Arena.  The only 
ones displeased were the buzzards, as RILLION's meat is notoriously tough.  Ask not 
the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.  Silly buggers, eh?   
     Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in JHANS have no 
sense of humor.  Or maybe that they were senseless.  Okay, so I may not be the 
world's best comedian, but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  Hasta la 
bye-bye.  (Loud choruses of 'Beat it, ya bum!')-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SANDPAPER CONDOM 6311        11   6  2   126       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TIMBER LION 6370             13   0  0   142       WOLFCATS (556)
-50/50 5603                   14   4  0   111       SKATE DRAGONS (500)
-BOARDSLIDE 5608              13   8  4   105       SKATE DRAGONS (500)
 BENANDANTI 6467              11   2  1   102       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 UNION JACK 6015              24   6  0   101       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 SKIRZA SLAPSTIK 5996         20  13  1   101       THE FALLEN (524)
 SUBZERO 6120                 16   9  2   100       KAMIKAZI (533)
 FRANKENSLOSH 5901            14   5  0   100       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 DONNA THE HUNTRESS 6307       9   9  0    97       THE FALLEN (524)
 HAY RIDE 6305                15   3  0    94       PORN IN A BARN (551)
 THE LOVE BELOW 6187          11   5  2    93       THE DREAMING (529)
 BADDA BAMM 6075              15  13  0    92       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SLASHIN' SPECK 5854          15  23  2    89       ANARKYSTS (341)
 SHAWNDA 6032                 12  12  1    89       THE DREAMING (529)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-WHIRLING MIST 5026           21  12  0    87       LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)
 PIGFEED PICKTAN 6124         19   7  0    80       ANARKYSTS (341)
 REAPER 6150                  12  11  0    79       KAMIKAZI (533)
 MONKEY SHINE 5927            11   5  0    77       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 DEVASTATOR 6079              15  14  2    76       THE FALLEN (524)
-RECOUNT 6333                  9   2  0    76       THE CHADS (482)
 OBLIVIOUS 6101               17   9  0    75       KAMIKAZI (533)
 CLURACAN 6035                18   6  0    74       THE DREAMING (529)
 SHADOW STARR 5999            14  18  1    68       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
-RAKAR 5307                   11   6  1    68       IRON TIGERS (484)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SLAYIN STAYNER 5891          14  14  1    65       ANARKYSTS (341)
-H. LECTER 5755                6   2  0    64       UNKNOWNS VII (509)
 HELIX PRIME 6344              4   0  0    62       SPACE WOLVES (523)
-RAVEN DARKHART 6465           5   5  1    61       BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)
-RIZZLE-DIZZLE 5923            8   3  0    58       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
-DRIPS 6066                    7   5  0    57       STDS (534)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ALPHA 6675                    3   1  0    56       COLONY (575)
 I.B. KLONIN 6408              5   7  1    55       HELTER SKELTER (256)
-SPATHIC 6189                  6   5  0    52       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
 PIXIE DUST 6308              11   6  1    50       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 OLD DIRT MCGIRT 6601          6   5  2    48       LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)
-NEON'S MAMMA 6376             6   5  0    48       BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)
 APOCALYPSE 6633               5   2  0    48       REVELATION (543)
-SPEKTER 4921                  8   5  0    47       KARNIVORZ (455)
-KIZZY LYNNE 6375              7   4  0    45       BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)
 SASQUATCH COWBOY 6491         8   5  1    44       LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)
 PIMP BEEFAROONY 6579          8   2  0    44       THE DREAMING (529)
 ELECTRONIC 6562               6   5  1    43       THE CHADS (482)
-ONE TRICK PONY 6589           5   5  1    43       PORN IN A BARN (551)
 JIGSAW KILLER 6627            5   4  1    40       LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)
 THE BEAST 6296               11   6  0    39       REVELATION (543)
-SYPHILIS 6129                 7   4  0    38       STDS (534)
 ELIZABETH RABBIT 6425         6  10  0    38       SCARRY TEAM (325)
-FREAKY FRED 4920              5   5  0    38       KARNIVORZ (455)
-HARPO 6637                    4   1  0    37       THE BEARS (565)
-A.H. FISH 5759                6   4  1    35       UNKNOWNS VII (509)
-GROUCHO 6636                  4   0  1    35       THE BEARS (565)
 T'HAEL 6581                   6   4  0    34       THE FALLEN (524)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GAMBIT 6161                   6  13  2    33       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 BANANA GORILLA 5276           4  12  0    33       SCARRY TEAM (325)
-GOAT CHEESE 6718              1   0  1    33       PORN IN A BARN (551)
-FREEMASON 6728                1   0  1    32       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 DIVIT 5974                    3   3  0    31       ERRATA (490)
 AYLA SECURA 6661              2   1  0    31       SPACE WOLVES (523)
 PALADIN 5410                  5   7  0    28       ERRATA (490)
-AUGUST 6659                   5   0  0    27       CHOP'S PRIDE (573)
 CLOVER 5959                   4   7  0    27       ERRATA (490)
 SALLY 6426                    5  11  0    26       SCARRY TEAM (325)
-GITO GITO HUSTLER 6291        5   5  0    26       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
 CHESTER 4616                  3   1  0    26       HELTER SKELTER (256)
-POUNCE 6624                   1   1  0    25       WOLFCATS (556)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HAIL MARY 6389                3   5  1    23       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
-'WERD 3870                    3   2  0    23       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)
 IKTHANUS 6691                 1   2  0    23       SPACE WOLVES (523)
-SCRATCH FURY 6647             3   0  0    22       5440 OR FIGHT! (336)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ARACHNIA 6613                 5   5  0    21       KAMIKAZI (533)
-CORPSE COUNT 4923             2   5  1    21       KARNIVORZ (455)
-SAVOIR FAIRE 6656             2   1  0    21       CHOP'S PRIDE (573)
 FALSE PROPHET 6724            2   0  0    21       REVELATION (543)
 PRINCE OF LIES 6697           2   1  0    21       REVELATION (543)
-WHIPLASH 6664                 3   1  0    20       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
-HIV 6591                      2   0  0    20       STDS (534)
 KATH AERIS 6381               2   2  0    19       SPACE WOLVES (523)
-D. BERKOWITZ 5758             4   5  0    17       UNKNOWNS VII (509)
 DHAMPIRA 6703                 2   1  0    17       SPACE WOLVES (523)
 KILL-KID FIZZLE 6646          5   1  0    16       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 SCALP HUNTER 6748             1   0  0    16       WARRIOR'S (580)
-BEEZLE 4924                   3   4  0    15       KARNIVORZ (455)
-NADYA 6586                    2   1  0    15       TEAM SKARABRAE (571)
 SERPENT OF OLD 6696           2   1  0    15       REVELATION (543)
 KALISTA J'NAE 6631            4   2  0    14       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 DIEBOLD 6645                  2   4  0    14       THE CHADS (482)
 PROBLEM 5977                  2   4  0    14       ERRATA (490)
 BEAUTIFUL SADNESS 6558        2   7  0    13       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
-TRICH 6604                    2   0  0    13       STDS (534)
 WHISKERS 6701                 2   1  0    12       PORN IN A BARN (551)
 FROSTY FROTHINGSLUSH 6684     3   2  0    11       LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)
-VELVET REVOLVER 6723          1   0  1    11       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 GARGOMEL 6750                 1   0  1    11       THE FALLEN (524)
 OMEGA 6678                    1   3  0    11       COLONY (575)
 CHIEF IRON HORSE 6747         1   0  0    11       WARRIOR'S (580)
 PONY SOLDIER 6746             1   0  0    11       WARRIOR'S (580)
 EPSILON 6676                  3   1  0    10       COLONY (575)
 ALLIS 6415                    1   1  0     8       ERRATA (490)
-PLEASURE SPOTS 6707           1   0  0     8       WOLFCATS (556)
 DAYCARE DIVA 6722             1   1  0     7       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 BETA 6677                     1   3  0     6       COLONY (575)
 ROYAL DRAGON 6751             1   0  0     6       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-TRA'SHELLE XANIA 6630         1   3  0     6       BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)
-TSLOTHA GARNATH 6634          1   1  0     6       TEAM SKARABRAE (571)
-BRILHASTI 6584                0   4  0     6       TEAM SKARABRAE (571)
 SKY HAWK 6749                 1   0  0     5       WARRIOR'S (580)
-SLAM-BANG 6658                1   2  0     5       CHOP'S PRIDE (573)
-PUNDIT 6655                   0   5  0     5       CHOP'S PRIDE (573)
-ALENDAR 6708                  1   1  0     4       TEAM SKARABRAE (571)
 DELTA 6674                    0   4  0     4       COLONY (575)
 LOKI 6712                     0   2  0     2       KAMIKAZI (533)
-AEMILIUS PAULUS 6692          0   2  0     2       CHOP'S PRIDE (573)
 HEY BURPER HAMMER 6715        0   1  0     1       SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)
 HEY DANCER HAMMER 6713        0   1  0     1       SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)
 HEY SLAYER HAMMER 6714        0   1  0     1       SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)
-UTOR 6721                     0   1  0     1       TEAM SKARABRAE (571)
 HEY DRAGON HAMMER 6717        0   1  0     1       SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)
 MEDICINE MAN 6745             0   1  0     1       WARRIOR'S (580)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
HOMOCIDAL 6640         3  3 1 THE BEARS 565         RIPPLES DORRIGAN 23   476 NONE    
ZEPPO 6638             1  4 1 THE BEARS 565         MOUNTAIN TROLL 18     476 NONE    
COBRA COMMANDER 6592   3  5 0 BLITZKRIEG 271        HAIL MARY 6389        473 REVENGED
MISCOUNT 6090          9  6 0 THE CHADS 482         DEVASTATOR 6079       473         
RILLION 21             0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          OLD DIRT MCGIRT 6601  476 NONE    
DA36 6744              0  1 0 THE DREAMING 529      HIGH ELF 19           476 NONE    
STORM SHADOW 6725      0  1 0 THE DREAMING 529      VELVET REVOLVER 6723  475         
BLACKJACK 6163         9  9 4 MEMPHIS MAFIA II 542  SPYMASTER 22          476 NONE    
HOUND OF SATAN 6610    3  4 0 REVELATION 543        BLACKJACK 6163        474         
HEY KILLER HAMME 6716  0  1 0 SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ 577 GARGOMEL 6750         476         

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
COSMOWORLD CARNI 6623  2  4 0 SUICIDAL DREAMS 525   WURM KIN 27           476 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

     An addition to the "please include me out of spotlights" list is the entirety of
     the DOOMcorps alliance.  Ummm...that's Cosmo, !ll.kid.k, Jekyll, Iver, Polarius,
     Mordraith, and Ultraist, right?  And please remember that I may not get veiled
     references, since I don't know y'all as well as you know each other, but I'll do
     the best I can. -- Ed.

One Trick Pony -- The least you could do is let me get off one attack before you
pummel me. -- Alpha

     I think that's not the trick. -- Ed.

Arachnia -- My father gave me that scimitar. -- Beta

Serpent of Old -- Well, that didn't work. -- Delta

Dhampira -- A worthy adversary. -- Epsilon

Banana Gorilla -- Congrats on your second win.  I'm glad I could help. -- Omega

ill.kid.k -- Dude, you got one of two choices:  strap up or pack up. -- Baphomet
(still chuckling)

Polarius -- Truly, it ain't personal and I think you know that I'm just having fun.
If I'd known he'd lose it (and it wasn't directed at him anyway), I wouldn't have
written it.  but, since he wanted to get nasty...I'm gonna ride him like a pegasus.
-- Baphomet
P.S.  Unless of course, he apologizes.

TDH -- WAZZUP!  My brother from a different mother! -- Baphomet
P.S.  I'll crack that joke on ya when tempers cool down.  (grin)

Az -- Dude!  They tried to poison me.  Must of wanted to keep me from exacting some
serious damage on the sick one. -- Baphomet

P. Diddy -- When I made myself at home, one of the resident streetwalkers got her
drawers twisted.  No worries...they about to strangle her! -- Baphomet (laughing
uproariously)

Nemesis -- Careful, my brother. -- Baphomet

Sir Chester -- Keep the candy away from the kid.  He goes straight for the candy
canes!  And...didja ever notice when he pops his teeth out, he looks exactly like
your girlfriend? -- Baphomet

Ed. -- If someone wants to make fun of me, insult me, abuse me, whatever...let 'em.
I'm a man.  I can dish it out and I can take it.  This includes my team too. --
Baphomet, mgr. Chop's Pride

Ultraist/Timberlion/Wolfcats -- Congratulations once again for continuing to hold
onto the throne and top team! -- !

Baphomet -- I would count your special and distinct digit if I could actually see it.
You may not want to stick it up like that with the kLk around and all. -- !ll.kid.k

Pundit -- It doesn't look like it's your season. -- The Slushinator

I.B. -- Looks like I brought the barn down on you. -- Dirty McGirty

Bookie -- I read your personal ad last turn and I want to tell you that it really
impressed me.  I don't think I would have been able to have publicly admitted and
accepted so much blame and responsibility for the things that have happened.  All of
us have said and done things, in and out of the arena, that weren't appropriate.  It
takes a lot of guts to publicly admit it the way that you did.  I think that we could
all learn from your example in this matter.  I can assure you there are NO hard
feelings here. -- Polarius

     Polarius -- Is there any way for you to set your mailer to send plain text?
     It's currently sending formatted stuff in which the formatting takes up three or
     four times as much space as the actual text.  I do hope I got all the text
     picked out of the formatting.... -- Ed.

Azrael -- Why would you wanna brag about a team with a 20-30 percent win ratio?  To
be honest I think your winning percentage here, 47.4%, is very respectable.  Jhans is
a very tough arena.  Since you have started playing here there have been 2 contests
and this "war."  For someone to come out of all of that only 8 fights under .500 is
pretty good in my book. -- Polarius

Storm Shadow -- Just so you know, my manager has already trademarked the GI Joe
names.  Sorry Joe. -- Velvet Revolver

Cosmo -- Hey, next time you decide you are gonna TV challenge someone I'm
bloodfeuding, why don't you warn me first! -- Polarius

Sasquatch Cowboy -- Sorry, I like a cowboy who can ride a little bit longer, hun. --
Donna Huntress

The Beast -- Fall, you foul creature, good fight. -- T'Hael

Subzero -- Good try. -- Skirza Slapstik

Union Jack -- Total Parry, my ass. -- Devastator

Polarius -- I will hold my tongue until I read your ad, my friend. -- Azrael

Ed. -- Although my stable should just now be appearing for the Kill contest here in
DM 36 I thought I would post you a note that I have NO Problem with other people
writing about Hammer in their Spotlights as long as I receive Equal Opportunity to
write them into my Spots!  This goes for Jhans as well as ANY Other Arena where I am
active.  Rumor has it that some folks who have an axe to grind with me are writing
their fool heads off to scathe me in their Spots in other arenas where I am running,
so let them have their fun.  Every Dog has his Day! -- Hammer the WordSmith
P.S.  I usually speak up a bit more when I enter an arena and usually try to include
a Spot to introduce my presence, but the collection of managers here warrants a
Surprise Entrance!  After all, it is a Kill contest and although my stable is NOT
what I would consider to be filled with Potential Killers, they do afford some
amusement a cut above the RSI Stand Ins here!!!!!

Baphomet -- Must one be so personal?  You're pissing managers off, pissing gladiators
off and sitting there laughing like a madman.  It would be something if you could
find it to be able to tone it down some.  Didn't think so many managers would be
affected by such ignoble hot air?  Tone it down before it becomes too late.  Sounds
like you're anxious about something?  Tee...heee...Braaa haaa! -- Sir Chester

Ed. -- Any manager can use my name, stable name or whatever they wish to use in
spotlights, personal ads, etc.  Anything but my toothbrush--wouldn't want anyone to
become sick. -- Sir Chester "STDS"

     Eeeew, you can definitely keep your toothbrush! -- Ed.

Bookie -- As of today...my mother and sister are on the streets looking for some
action.  You'll know them when you see them!  They are infected with all kinds of
things. -- Drips

All -- Just "Simmer down now!"  If you don't like it...overlook it. -- *Chester*

15 January 2005
     BR 4 is upon us!  First turn is due on 1/29/05.  Many thanks to RSI for helping
supply a great prize for the winner and those who meet the 90% endurance criteria.
     Winning prize:  6 months free play, a +1 bonus potion, a limited damage potion,
a favorites knowledge potion, a minor stat-switch prize, and renaming a Dark Arena
creature.
     Endurance prizes:  a +1 bonus potion to all teams that fight 90% of the possible
fights during the contest.
     For details, visit Talcama's newletter or
http://www.geocities.com/assurnasir/br4
     To join, simply bring a team to DM 18, announce your entry in the personals, and
follow the very simple rule of not avoiding!

31 January 2005
     My fellow duelists I come before you bearing a sad and unfortunate message.
Several months ago our group, the Vendetta Cartel, had lost contact with one of our
friends.  Since he was in contact or correspondence on an almost daily basis there
was concern amongst us.  With some research two of our members discovered why contact
was lost with him.
     On November 10, 2004, Richard Hammes was taken from us in a senseless act of
violence during a robbery attempt at a friend's store where he sometimes worked.  He
was watching the store so his friend could go home to tend to his son who had taken
ill.  You may have known Rich as Abarsis, The Slaughter Priest ; richh10 on the RT;
or gameogre on the Duel2 messageboard.  You may not have known that he spent 13 years
serving the United States in the Navy.
     Rich dearly loved this game and all it encompassed.  He may not have been the
best or most experienced manager but he loved to interact with others and was quick
to offer advice whenever anyone asked for help.  He was always kind and gracious and
tried to strengthen our game, often by helping new players feel welcome or give them
a chance to compete.  With his prolific posting I know that I am simply speaking the
obvious about what he did for our game.  Many, like me, were drawn to him, perhaps
for his kind nature or his sense of humor, and it appears he lived his life as he
played this game.  Always willing to help or do right by others.
     I realize that he had many friends outside the VC so I will include the link to
the news story in case any of his other friends would like to know more of what
happened.  We're all dealt a hand in life but it's not the strength of the hand
you're dealt but rather how you play it that really matters.  Rich played his hand to
the very best of his human ability and for this I admire him greatly.  I know we all
choose to like or dislike managers but I believe deep down we are all good and
decent, in this game, and will drop party (alliance) lines and will show the proper
respect.
     http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20041112/news_7m12clerk.html
     Rich was taken from us all to soon and with so much left to offer the community
around him.  He spoke of a desire to run a contest on the Duel2 site which I hope to
uphold in his name.  Some of the people I have spoken with think it would be a nice
gesture to do one final good act in Rich's name, though it could never match what he
would've done within his community, for his community of San Diego.  I hope that with
this contest we might raise a little money to donate to an appropriate charity within
San Diego in his name.
     In conclusion I send a message to Rich:
     "Rich, though I'm sure you gathered this I never really told you how much I
admired you and what a friend I considered you.  I thank you for being my voice of
reason and always reminding me of why we both loved this game so much!  You have
taught me one final valuable lesson in learning more of you.  There are things far
more valuable in life than material possessions such as character and kindness.  That
nothing going on in your life means that you cannot find a way to be kind and giving
to others.  We always spoke of meeting someday and until we finally do know that you
will live on in with me and the rest of your brothers and sisters in the Cartel:
Master Darque, Kat, Bum, Sensei Jan, Maximillian, Hammer, Fizban, Firehawk, Phat
Phat.  You increased all of our enjoyment of this game, you were a true ambassador of
Duelmasters, and the game will not be quite the same without you.  A farewell battle
cry from the ZalCon:  'Confusion to our enemies'.  May your soul rest in peace, my
friend."
     Should anyone wish to correspond about Rich feel free to contact myself, or
anyone else within the Vendetta Cartel.
     Street Legal
     Jeff Bura
     The Death Squad(63) in Tobir or triumph1971@hotmail.com

31 January 2005
     Be it known throughout Alastari that Hammer is no longer a member of the
Vendetta Cartel alliance.
     A difference of opinion with another highly respected member of the VC due to my
recent vocal actions in DM 47 can only be resolved by my resignation from the VC as
of January 29, 2005.
     I leave of my own accord, in good standing with all members and with no hard
feelings towards anyone in the Vendetta Cartel.
     There was a time when I felt that my membership in the VC made the alliance
stronger.  I know that my resignation today makes the Vendetta Cartel a stronger
alliance with my absence. -- Hammer

1 February 2005
                           St. Valentine's Massacre update
My apologies, the Kill Contest starting on turn 476 in Jhans will run for 10 (ten)
turns ending on turn number 486.
                                                                   Azrael

5 February 2005
On behalf of the ILLUMINATI Confederation of Alliances (The kLk, CHAOS, Inc. and The
Company of Brothers) I would like to express our sympathies concerning the tragic
loss of Rich Hammes to both the DM community and to the real life world.  Surely our
loss has been Heaven's gain. -- Talon Darkhart, deeply sorrowful
                                kLk God of War, Illuminati Alliance, Puppetmaster

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

HOMOCIDAL was butchered by RIPPLES DORRIGAN in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
BLACKJACK was butchered by SPYMASTER in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
OLD DIRT MCGIRT savagely slew RILLION in a exciting 1 minute gory Dark Arena melee.
ZEPPO was unbelievably slain by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
COSMOWORLD CARNIE was assassinated by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
DA36 was butchered by HIGH ELF in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
KERRY BEAR vanquished THE LOVE BELOW in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge fight.
SKIRZA SLAPSTIK beat SLASHIN' SPECK in a popular 3 minute master's Challenge brawl.
UNION JACK won victory over SHAWNDA in a 3 minute expert's Challenge duel.
SUBZERO overpowered MONKEY SHINE in a popular 1 minute uneven Challenge duel.
BADDA BAMM savagely defeated OBLIVIOUS in a popular 4 minute expert's Challenge match.
REAPER was savagely defeated by HAY RIDE in a 9 minute master's Challenge match.
DONNA THE HUNTRESS subdued PIGFEED PICKTAN in a 2 minute master's Challenge match.
FRANKENSLOSH overpowered CLURACAN in a tiring 10 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
APOCALYPSE won victory over ELIZABETH RABBIT in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
I.B. KLONIN won victory over ELECTRONIC in a exciting 1 minute Challenge fray.
PALADIN was devastated by SASQUATCH COWBOY in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
ALPHA overpowered THE BEAST in a 3 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
JIGSAW KILLER overpowered KALISTA J'NAE in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
AYLA SECURA overpowered EPSILON in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
SERPENT OF OLD bested LOKI in a popular 2 minute Challenge bout.
PROBLEM was unbelievably bested by KILL-KID FIZZLE in a 9 minute Challenge match.
PRINCE OF LIES unbelievably bested WHISKERS in a 3 minute amateur's Challenge fray.
BETA was defeated by KATH AERIS in a action packed 1 minute brutal Challenge fight.
DELTA was defeated by DHAMPIRA in a tiring 6 minute novice's Challenge duel.
SANDPAPER CONDOM demolished DEVASTATOR in a 1 minute one-sided Title melee.
KILL'EM KREPP was overpowered by BENANDANTI in a 1 minute one-sided fray.
PIXIE DUST was overcome by HELIX PRIME in a exciting 1 minute duel.
SHADOW STARR savagely defeated PIMP BEEFAROONY in a 3 minute uneven fight.
T'HAEL was overpowered by SLAYIN STAYNER in a popular 2 minute brutal one-sided match.
BANANA GORILLA savagely defeated ARACHNIA in a action packed 1 minute brutal bout.
DIVIT bested BEAUTIFUL SADNESS in a popular 3 minute duel.
GAMBIT was bested by CHESTER in a 2 minute battle.
SALLY was subdued by IKTHANUS in a 1 minute brutal struggle.
CLOVER handily defeated DIEBOLD in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
ALLIS was subdued by OMEGA in a 1 minute novice's conflict.
FROSTY FROTHINGSLUSH was outwaited by SCALP HUNTER in a 12 minute novice's bout.
DAYCARE DIVA beat HEY SLAYER HAMMER in a crowd pleasing 1 minute novice's competition.
FALSE PROPHET vanquished MEDICINE MAN in a 1 minute one-sided match.
HEY KILLER HAMMER was murdered by GARGOMEL in a 1 minute uneven duel.
HEY DRAGON HAMMER was devastated by CHIEF IRON HORSE in a 1 minute mismatched match.
HEY BURPER HAMMER slimly lost to ROYAL DRAGON in a 5 minute bloody novice's conflict.
HEY DANCER HAMMER was overpowered by PONY SOLDIER in a 2 minute uneven competition.
SKY HAWK subdued CONVICTED THIEF in a monotonous 6 minute novice's match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                  17         TOTAL PARRY      103 -  66 -  2      61  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 14         WALL OF STEEL     27 -  25 -  0      52  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     13         BASHING ATTACK    47 -  48 -  5      49  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 12         AIMED BLOW        42 -  43 -  1      49  |
|AIMED BLOW                       6         STRIKING ATTACK   59 -  64 -  3      48  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   5         LUNGING ATTACK   112 - 134 - 12      46  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     5         PARRY-LUNGE        6 -   8 -  0      43  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    4         PARRY-STRIKE      18 -  30 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         SLASHING ATTACK   34 -  64 -  3      35  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -  13 -  0      28  |

Turn 476 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

WALL OF STEEL      3 -  1     LUNGING ATTACK     8 -  9         4  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    9 -  5     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  2         3  WALL OF STEEL  
BASHING ATTACK     3 -  2     SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  9         2  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        7 -  6     PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  4         1  LUNGING ATTACK 
AIMED BLOW         3 -  3                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  SANDPAPER CONDOM 6311      11   6  2  126 MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
TOTAL PARRY      UNION JACK 6015            24   6  0  101 BLITZKRIEG (271)
WALL OF STEEL    SKIRZA SLAPSTIK 5996       20  13  1  101 THE FALLEN (524)
BASHING ATTACK   SUBZERO 6120               16   9  2  100 KAMIKAZI (533)
AIMED BLOW       MONKEY SHINE 5927          11   5  0   77 HELTER SKELTER (256)
LUNGING ATTACK   HELIX PRIME 6344            4   0  0   62 SPACE WOLVES (523)
SLASHING ATTACK  OLD DIRT MCGIRT 6601        6   5  2   48 LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)
PARRY-STRIKE     T'HAEL 6581                 6   4  0   34 THE FALLEN (524)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is SLAYIN STAYNER 5891.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was BADDA BAMM 6075.  The ten other most popular fighters were SHAWNDA 6032, 
WHISKERS 6701, REAPER 6150, LOKI 6712, SLAYIN STAYNER 5891, SCALP HUNTER 6748, 
SLASHIN' SPECK 5854, SHADOW STARR 5999, DIVIT 5974, and HAY RIDE 6305.

The least popular fighter this week was CLURACAN 6035.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were FRANKENSLOSH 5901, FROSTY FROTHINGSLUSH 6684, KILL-KID FIZZLE 6646, SKY 
HAWK 6749, DELTA 6674, DHAMPIRA 6703, THE BEAST 6296, HEY DRAGON HAMMER 6717, HEY 
KILLER HAMMER 6716, and MEDICINE MAN 6745.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

KERRY BEAR (36-3994) BLITZKRIEG (271)
KILL'EM KREPP (36-5892) ANARKYSTS (341)

                                  Name-Change-O-Rama

     The winter tourney brought a lot of people to the Isle who didn't appear there 
normally.  This included Commission employees.  Half a dozen arenamasters regarded 
each other warily in the mirror behind the bar at the Pig in a Haystack.  The Pig was 
obscure and mediocre, drawing few gladiators, which is what they had all been looking 
for.  They saw gladiators every day.  Most arenamaster were convinced that this was 
some kind of punishment.
     You could always pick out the arenamasters in a crowd.  There were superficial 
differences:  One of these had clearly Adantri features, one wore an eye-patch, two 
were female.  But there were, in significant ways, alike.  The same size, the same 
hair-trigger alertness, the same deadliness.
     The one-eyed man broke the ice, raising his beer mug in salute.  "I'm Zrof One-
Eye from Zukal.  Sugar of Arvat--"  One of the women bowed slightly.  "I know Sugar.  
The rest of you...?"
     The Adantri matched his salute.  "Dernal of Dayla Kiv."
     "Daiyla Kiv?  Ah...."
     "No, without the 'I' in it.  These damned bureaucrats can't spell, and they 
thought adding an unnecessary vowel was exotic."  Disgust dripped from his voice.
     "Tell me about it!" another man growled in agreement.  "Khagal of Niatoli, and 
what they do to the spelling of THAT simple word--!"
     "I thought Daiyla, I mean Dayla Kiv had a different name right now," 
Arenamistress Sugar said.  "The arena, at least, because of a contest?"
     "Chavez Ravine."  Dernal's tone was the one that substituted in polite company 
for spitting on the floor.
     Zrof blinked, taken aback by the bitterness.  He wouldn't have minded a contest 
in Zukal, and damn what they called the place.  "It's only temporary, though."
     "Temporary, shmiperary," another man muttered.  He seemed well into his drinking, 
although, like all arenamasters, he carried his liquor well.  "They do it all the time 
in Aradi.  No reshpect.  Go around changing thish, changing that.  I wish I could 
change shome thingsh."  He signalled the bartender for a refill.
     The second woman put her hand over his mug.  "You've had enough, Harkon.  Try the 
coffee, instead."
     "You should be mad, too, Ripplesh," Harkon said.  "They're going to do shtuff 
like that in Jahnsh, aren't they?"
     Ripples Dorrigan shrugged.  All the men paused, some with glasses half raised, to 
watch.  "It's the way things are," she said.  "Not much we can do about it."
     "You know," Khagal of Niatoli said, "maybe we could make a few changes.  Fix the 
spelling of Arena 33, for one, change a few standby titles--"
     "The Commission hates changes."  Dernal of Dayla Kiv topped up his glass and 
drained it gloomily.
     "Yes, but if we disguise it," Sugar of Arvat said, excited, "make it... maybe a 
general Name-Change-O-Rama!  Then we could slip OUR changes through and no one would 
notice or mind."

                  *-------*-------*-------*-------*-------*-------* 

     By popular demand, we are holding a Name-Change-o-Rama during the month of March.
If you wish to change the name of your warriors or teams, please contact RSI Customer 
Service.  The charge for a name change is $1, unless you're in DOOMCorps, in which 
case you take your chances.  (Just kidding, guys! *snicker*)