DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 03/03/2005    Duedate: 03/16/2005

JHANS ARENA

DM-36    TURN-477

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

UNION JACK
BLITZKRIEG (271)
(36-6015) [25-6-0,110]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

50/50                          BATTERING RAM
SKATE DRAGONS (500)            ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)
(36-5603) [15-4-0,120]         (36-6198) [6-1-0,60]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

SLAYIN STAYNER                 SCALP HUNTER
ANARKYSTS (341)                WARRIOR'S (580)
(36-5891) [15-14-1,67]         (36-6748) [1-1-0,6]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

BLITZKRIEG (271)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. ANARKYSTS (341)             42
2. SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)     37      WOLFCATS (556)
3. KAMIKAZI (533)              31      Unchartered Team
4. BLITZKRIEG (271)            30
5. SKATE DRAGONS (500)         30      WARRIOR'S (580)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 2 WOLFCATS (556)            36  16  1 69.2   1/ 4 BLITZKRIEG (271)         11  2 1
 2- 3 THE CHADS (482)          113  72  6 61.1   2/ 2 SPACE WOLVES (523)       11  4 0
 3/ 4 SKATE DRAGONS (500)       45  31  4 59.2   3/ 3 REVELATION (543)          9  6 0
 4/ 5 REVELATION (543)         136  94  8 59.1   4- 1 HELTER SKELTER (256)      8  2 0
 5- 7 STDS (534)                25  22  2 53.2   5/ 9 ERRATA (490)              7  5 0
 6/ 8 LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259) 313 282 22 52.6   6/10 MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)    7  8 1
 7/11 BLITZKRIEG (271)         189 174 15 52.1   7/ 5 PORN IN A BARN (551)      6  3 1
 8- 9 HELTER SKELTER (256)     539 502 33 51.8   8/ 6 LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)  6  6 1
 9/12 THE DREAMING (529)        62  59  4 51.2   9/ 7 THE FALLEN (524)          6  9 1
10/10 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     81  79  5 50.6  10/ 8 THE DREAMING (529)        6  9 0
11/ 1*WARRIOR'S (580)            5   5  0 50.0  11/14*WARRIOR'S (580)           5  5 0
12/13 KAMIKAZI (533)            70  71  4 49.6  12/17 ANARKYSTS (341)           5  8 0
13/14 PORN IN A BARN (551)      45  47  4 48.9  13-15 STDS (534)                4  1 0
14/ 0*ANIMATED DESTRUCTI (545)  13  14  1 48.1  14-11*COLONY (575)              4  6 0
15-15 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     69  75 10 47.9  15/12 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     4 11 0
16-17 KARNIVORZ (455)           20  22  1 47.6  16/16 SCARRY TEAM (325)         3  6 0
17/16 THE FALLEN (524)          78  88  6 47.0  17/27*SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)   3  7 0
18/18 ANARKYSTS (341)          358 419 37 46.1  18/19 KAMIKAZI (533)            3 12 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/21 MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)    44  53 10 45.4  19-20 THE BEARS (565)           2  2 1
20-19 UNKNOWNS VII (509)        22  27  2 44.9  20/25 SKATE DRAGONS (500)       2  2 0
21-20 THE BEARS (565)           18  23  4 43.9  21-23 THE CHADS (482)           2  3 0
22-23*CHOP'S PRIDE (573)         8  11  0 42.1  22-22 BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)     1  2 1
23/24 SCARRY TEAM (325)        147 217  4 40.4  23-18*CHOP'S PRIDE (573)        1  2 0
24-25*COLONY (575)               8  12  0 40.0  24/ 0*ANIMATED DESTRUCTI (545)  1  3 0
25/26 SPACE WOLVES (523)        14  22  0 38.9  25/21 WOLFCATS (556)            1  3 0
26/27 ERRATA (490)              28  50  1 35.9  26-26*TEAM SKARABRAE (571)      0  2 0
27/29*SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)    3   7  0 30.0  27-29 UNKNOWNS VII (509)        0  1 0
28-28*TEAM SKARABRAE (571)       4  16  0 20.0  28-28 KARNIVORZ (455)           0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                   ST VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRE UPDATE FOR TURN ONE

     Well, well, well.  It took a while of negotiating to get to mention some
people's names in this thing but since it's a kill contest update how bad could I be?
Don't answer that.  It's me Huggy Bear with your Turn ONE spy report.
     Well, there ain't a lot to report.  What's wrong with you cats?  Only two
kills!?!?  Geesh.  Some of you managers could kill more people with your breath!  You
know who I'm talking to.  So get a breath mint!
     Once again the Dark Arena of Jhans has started going down to the warriors of
Jhans!  Maybe it was a thrown fight?  Maybe OLD DIRT MCGIRT still got some life in
him after all!  I'll say this for that team.  They may not be Legendary...but they
certainly are....
     MOVING ON!!!  The other kill in the arena belonged to AZRAEL and his warrior
Gargomel.  Gargomel?!  HAMMER must've been running a little blue warrior last turn as
Gargomel went crazy.  Must've been hearing that damn song over and over in his head
that did it.  Can't say I blame him.  Just be warned, Jhans...if Gargomel walks up
and says he's gonna smurf you...you're either in for a fight or a date!  So look out!
And AZ, I know you wanted to greet HAMMER to the kLk but was that really necessary?
     Here are your kill contest standings.  Now get out there and kill something!!!
I'm out! -- Huggy Bear

Legendary Bastards                              1 Kill
The Fallen                                      1 Kill
Everybody else and their underachieving self    0 Kills

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

                                     Duelmasters
                                     -----------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 516): DESTINY of SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 402): NELLISTHA of THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 521): SUNBURN of SIMPLY DESSERTS (Sweet Tooth, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 517): SERILIA of BLADES OF MIST (Lord Andarus, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 516): JOHN TYLER of I'M HISTORY (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 520): SATAN CLAUS of HOLIDAY HORRORS (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 517): GOKU of WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 512): QUIFF of QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 504): BULMA of WASTELAND (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 502): RONALD REAGAN of SONS OF SATAN (Damion, mgr.)
 DM  36 COSMOWORLD (turn 476): SANDPAPER CONDOM of MEMPHIS MAFIA II (Talon Darkhart)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 467): DARK TYPHLOSION of FIRE DECK (Destitute Noble, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 205): POSITION IS EMPTY
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 454): CRIX BREMOORE of FLAGG'S FIVE (Flagg, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 402): HANNAH of AMAZON ELITE (Doc Miracle, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 191): DAROSHTAN of TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jinda, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 179): DUFF of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 352): HELL STORM of DEVIL'S MAYHEM (Buddy Lee, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 156): ORPHAN of X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 395): WHIRLING WORD of 4-LETTER WORDS from CAER (TUM, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
                                      ---------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 516): SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 402): THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 521): OUR HIGHEST HONOR (The Anarchist, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 517): LOTHLORIEN (Mithrandir, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 516): I'M HISTORY (Zalgor Prigg, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 520): HOLIDAY HORRORS (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 517): UNDER JOLLY ROGER (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 512): TERRAPIN STATION (Floyd, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 504): CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave the Silent, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 502): GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 COSMOWORLD (turn 476): HELTER SKELTER (Cosmo, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 467): JINDA-BAN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 205): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 454): COLOR ME SUAVE (Suave is Silent here too, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 402): AMAZON ELITE (Doc Miracle, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 191): TRADERS OF TROCAR (Jinda, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 179): SEA DOGS (One-Armed Bandit, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 352): THE BEARS (Papa Bear, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 156): X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 395): ODD SQUAD, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
                                  -----------------
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 516): SWALLOWTAIL of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 402): NELLISTHA of THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 516): DREAMER of DREAMERS (Sleepy, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 512): QUIFF of QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
                           SAVARE of DARK CREATION (Herbert Philip Lovecraft West)
                           LADY DIVAN of SPRINGBORN (Still, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 504): CORAL BEAUTY of BIG MEAN FISH (Big Wave Dave, mgr.)
                            ASSUR of ARROGANCE (A-Sop, mgr.)
                (turn 503): LE PAIN DLG of PENTARCHIE-18 (The Pentalque, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 502): RONALD REAGAN of SONS OF SATAN (Damion, mgr.)
               (turn 501): POISON BEAK (21-5827) CARNAGE CANARIES (147)
 DM  36 COSMOWORLD (turn 475): KERRY BEAR of BLITZKRIEG (Polarius, mgr.)
                   KILL'EM KREPP of ANARKYSTS (Iver, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 204): HOMEY CIDE of CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 453): RONALD MCDONALD of CLOWNING AROUND (Assurnasirbanipal)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 402): HANNAH of AMAZON ELITE (Doc Miracle, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 155): CANNONBALL of X-POSSE (Savant, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Well, well, well.  It's good to be king.  *grin*  I'd first like to say that Kerry
Bear certainly did leave the throne room smelling awfully flowery.  Awww, the scent
of a woman.  HOO-RAH!!  Of course, maybe that's just what Polarius is passing for
cologne these days.  Who knows?

I wanna thank Polarius for getting Bookie back into strikers.  I probably wouldn't be
here if not for his input so I'd like to dedicate this Duelmastership to Polarius.
Thanks, bro!  *wink*  I'd also like to thank Devastator for a nice title fight.  Not
yet, kid.  I'm just a little too quick for that.

I fully expect to be fighting Benandanti this turn.  If he doesn't TV me I'm
challenging Frankenslosh with ole mister Halberd so either way...if ya want an
ending...I'll give ya an ending.  *wink*

My only regret is that I'll probably never get to kill Whirling Mist as his manager
is waiting to try and take a stab at Pixie.  Gee, kid.  It isn't obvious.  No.  Not
at all.  Really.  I had no clue you were going to try that.  Honest.  Hmmph.  Too
bad, Whirling.  I coulda learned good off your old ass.  *sigh*

I also wanna welcome a couple new kLk members:  HAMMER AND TRIPWIRE!!  Welcome to the
fold, fellas!  Glad to have ya around.

I won't ruin it for you guys and tell u my stats yet but here's a little hint:  I
STARTED WITH A 12 ATTACK.  Yea, figure those numbers out.  See ya when I see ya and
Benandanti...I really hope you TV'd me.  I really do.

Sandpaper Condom
kLk kLk DOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM
kLk God of War
Illuminati Alliance Puppetmaster

                                      SPY REPORT

     Hail and well met warriors of JHANS!  Know me for who I am, Zontani Sharp Eyes, 
Spymaster extraordinaire of all Alastari.  Former top team HELTER SKELTER was 
unseated this week as BLITZKRIEG moved up from 4th ranking to take the top spot with 
a 4-0-0 record for the round.  There were bitter words at CHOP'S PRIDE's guildhouse 
after a 0-0-0 showing this week which dropped the stable into 23rd.  Dark Arena 
anyone?  My praise to MEMPHIS MAFIA II for their 4-1-1 week this time out.  Indeed, 
it was a skillfully fought round deserving of notice!  JEDI MIND TRICK caught the eye 
of many in the gladiatorial commission as it skillfully bested FALSE PROPHET and was 
awarded 23 points in recognition.  In one of the week's more notable duels, PROBLEM 
put down POUNCE, causing her to lose 16 points of recognition in the process.  This 
time out UNION JACK made his bid for the throne as he challenged SANDPAPER CONDOM in 
an all out contest of skill for possession of the title!  This time victory fell to 
the grasp of the usurper.  All hail UNION JACK, Duelmaster of JHANS!  Would you 
believe that over half of the old women in JHANS seem to feel that they could fight 
better than you gladiators?   
     I have been in deep conclave with my spies who watched all that has recently 
transpired.  Indeed there is much I would report.  My inside sources tell me that the 
team to beat in JHANS these days is HELTER SKELTER.  At least, most blades in town 
are looking to avoid them.  Methinks more than a few here could name the guild it was 
that spent the better part of last week avoiding HELTER SKELTER.  Indeed it was THE 
FALLEN.  Loose talk at the arena has reached my ears and it but confirms the 
knowledge that many fighters are after SLASHIN' SPECK.  Watch your back!  Give T'HAEL 
credit for hers courage.  Did you note how she challenged SLAYIN STAYNER despite the 
31 point difference in their rankings?  Truth to tell, T'HAEL did not come out of the 
fight a winner, but she managed to capture much attention, gaining 3 in recognition.  
As a gladiator gets older, the icy grip of fear lays hold of hers heart.  True, 
GAMBIT?  Who could miss your "brave" challenge of SKY HAWK?  Few would not have 
guessed the outcome of the bout as SKY HAWK was bested by GAMBIT.  Is this what 
passes for courage in JHANS?  A match that raised a few eyebrows at the games this 
week, it seems that BEAUTIFUL SADNESS posted a challenge against the more highly 
recognized BANANA GORILLA.  The results, you ask?  Well, the firebrand BEAUTIFUL 
SADNESS bested BANANA GORILLA.  Remember warriors, this is the discipline of steel.  
I can not but mention with disdain the name of SERPENT OF OLD who this week posted a 
challenge to a warrior a full 13 points below in the rankings.  I thought SERPENT OF 
OLD showed great skill and promise when it won victory over LOKI.  All right, so I 
slept through it!  Big deal!   
     Is not Death a warrior's foremost adviser?   Warriors, may this counselor stand 
ready at your right hand forever!  Look no more for THE BEAST in the arena or on the 
streets of JHANS.  His fate was sealed in the Dark Arena.  Inevitable for one at 
11-6-0.  Some guilds are strict but few are as heartless as REVELATION.  Witness, 
last turn they sent THE BEAST, a 11-6-0 fighter, to the Dark Arena!  This week marked 
the last days of OLD DIRT MCGIRT who at 6-5-2 was dispatched to the Dark Arena by the 
command of LEGENDARY BASTARDS' demanding management.  The warrior's path is harsh.  
For mediocrity there is but one reward--death.  This past week ELIZABETH RABBIT, at 
6-11-0, departed JHANS forever.  Fate is a fickle mistress.  She showers the 
miserable with fortune but sets enemies against the victorious.  Remember this!   
     A thought before I go.  Each warrior practices one style, but must not the wise 
manager learn the secrets of them all?  Sadly warriors, now longer can I keep thy 
company nor savor the ale of thy fine city.  Depart I must and soon!  Till we meet 
again, remember:  a turtle walks slow, hides head in a shell, and harms no one; a 
lion runs to slay its prey.-- Zontani Sharp Eyes  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 UNION JACK 6015              25   6  0   110       BLITZKRIEG (271)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TIMBER LION 6370             13   0  0   142       WOLFCATS (556)
 50/50 5603                   15   4  0   120       SKATE DRAGONS (500)
 SUBZERO 6120                 17   9  2   112       KAMIKAZI (533)
 THE LOVE BELOW 6187          12   5  2   110       THE DREAMING (529)
 SANDPAPER CONDOM 6311        11   7  2   103       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
-BENANDANTI 6467              11   2  1   102       HELTER SKELTER (256)
-FRANKENSLOSH 5901            14   5  0   100       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 SKIRZA SLAPSTIK 5996         20  14  1    97       THE FALLEN (524)
 PIGFEED PICKTAN 6124         20   7  0    95       ANARKYSTS (341)
 SLASHIN' SPECK 5854          16  23  2    95       ANARKYSTS (341)
 OBLIVIOUS 6101               18   9  0    93       KAMIKAZI (533)
 CLURACAN 6035                19   6  0    91       THE DREAMING (529)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BOARDSLIDE 5608              13   9  4    88       SKATE DRAGONS (500)
-WHIRLING MIST 5026           21  12  0    87       LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)
 BADDA BAMM 6075              15  14  0    87       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 DEVASTATOR 6079              16  14  2    84       THE FALLEN (524)
 DONNA THE HUNTRESS 6307       9  10  0    84       THE FALLEN (524)
 HAY RIDE 6305                15   4  0    82       PORN IN A BARN (551)
 SHAWNDA 6032                 12  13  1    77       THE DREAMING (529)
 REAPER 6150                  12  12  0    77       KAMIKAZI (533)
-MONKEY SHINE 5927            11   5  0    77       HELTER SKELTER (256)
-RECOUNT 6333                  9   2  0    76       THE CHADS (482)
-RAKAR 5307                   11   6  1    68       IRON TIGERS (484)
 SLAYIN STAYNER 5891          15  14  1    67       ANARKYSTS (341)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-H. LECTER 5755                6   2  0    64       UNKNOWNS VII (509)
 HELIX PRIME 6344              5   0  0    64       SPACE WOLVES (523)
 SHADOW STARR 5999            14  19  1    62       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 BATTERING RAM 6198            6   1  0    60       ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)
-DRIPS 6066                    7   5  0    57       STDS (534)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-ALPHA 6675                    3   1  0    56       COLONY (575)
 PIXIE DUST 6308              12   6  2    55       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 SASQUATCH COWBOY 6491         9   5  1    55       LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)
-I.B. KLONIN 6408              5   7  1    55       HELTER SKELTER (256)
-SPEKTER 4921                  8   5  0    47       KARNIVORZ (455)
-ELECTRONIC 6562               6   5  1    43       THE CHADS (482)
-ONE TRICK PONY 6589           5   5  1    43       PORN IN A BARN (551)
 JIGSAW KILLER 6627            5   5  1    42       LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 AYLA SECURA 6661              3   1  0    41       SPACE WOLVES (523)
 APOCALYPSE 6633               5   3  0    39       REVELATION (543)
-SYPHILIS 6129                 7   4  0    38       STDS (534)
-FREAKY FRED 4920              5   5  0    38       KARNIVORZ (455)
 PIMP BEEFAROONY 6579          8   3  0    37       THE DREAMING (529)
 GAMBIT 6161                   7  13  2    37       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 T'HAEL 6581                   6   5  0    37       THE FALLEN (524)
 CLOVER 5959                   5   7  0    37       ERRATA (490)
-HARPO 6637                    4   1  0    37       THE BEARS (565)
-A.H. FISH 5759                6   4  1    35       UNKNOWNS VII (509)
-GROUCHO 6636                  4   0  1    35       THE BEARS (565)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BEAUTIFUL SADNESS 6558        3   7  0    33       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
-GOAT CHEESE 6718              1   0  1    33       PORN IN A BARN (551)
-FREEMASON 6728                1   0  1    32       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
-DIVIT 5974                    3   3  0    31       ERRATA (490)
 KATH AERIS 6381               3   2  0    30       SPACE WOLVES (523)
 PROBLEM 5977                  3   4  0    30       ERRATA (490)
 PALADIN 5410                  5   8  0    29       ERRATA (490)
 SALLY 6426                    5  12  0    27       SCARRY TEAM (325)
-AUGUST 6659                   5   0  0    27       CHOP'S PRIDE (573)
-CHESTER 4616                  3   1  0    26       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 BANANA GORILLA 5276           4  13  0    25       SCARRY TEAM (325)
 WHISKERS 6701                 3   1  0    25       PORN IN A BARN (551)
 PLEASURE SPOTS 6707           2   0  0    25       WOLFCATS (556)
 PRINCE OF LIES 6697           3   1  0    24       REVELATION (543)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HAIL MARY 6389                3   5  1    23       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
 JEDI MIND TRICK 6673          1   0  0    23       SKATE DRAGONS (500)
 KILL-KID FIZZLE 6646          6   1  0    22       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
-CORPSE COUNT 4923             2   5  1    21       KARNIVORZ (455)
-SAVOIR FAIRE 6656             2   1  0    21       CHOP'S PRIDE (573)
-WHIPLASH 6664                 3   1  0    20       BLIND HYPOCRISY (504)
-HIV 6591                      2   0  0    20       STDS (534)
 FLYING BLADE 6196             3   4  0    19       ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)
 CHIEF IRON HORSE 6747         2   0  0    19       WARRIOR'S (580)
 SERPENT OF OLD 6696           3   1  0    18       REVELATION (543)
-D. BERKOWITZ 5758             4   5  0    17       UNKNOWNS VII (509)
 HEY BURPER HAMMER 6715        1   1  0    17       SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)
 KALISTA J'NAE 6631            4   3  0    15       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
-BEEZLE 4924                   3   4  0    15       KARNIVORZ (455)
-NADYA 6586                    2   1  0    15       TEAM SKARABRAE (571)
 HEY DRAGON HAMMER 6717        1   1  0    15       SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)
-DIEBOLD 6645                  2   4  0    14       THE CHADS (482)
 IKTHANUS 6691                 1   3  0    14       SPACE WOLVES (523)
 CATFISH CHIA 6773             1   0  0    14       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-TRICH 6604                    2   0  0    13       STDS (534)
 GARGOMEL 6750                 1   1  1    13       THE FALLEN (524)
 FROSTY FROTHINGSLUSH 6684     3   3  0    12       LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)
 DHAMPIRA 6703                 2   2  0    12       SPACE WOLVES (523)
 DAYCARE DIVA 6722             2   1  0    11       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-VELVET REVOLVER 6723          1   0  1    11       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-OMEGA 6678                    1   3  0    11       COLONY (575)
 TRIPPIN' DAISY 6762           1   0  0    11       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 FIREFLY 6761                  1   0  0    11       THE DREAMING (529)
-EPSILON 6676                  3   1  0    10       COLONY (575)
 ROYAL DRAGON 6751             2   0  0     9       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 POUNCE 6624                   1   2  0     9       WOLFCATS (556)
-ALLIS 6415                    1   1  0     8       ERRATA (490)
 FALSE PROPHET 6724            2   1  0     7       REVELATION (543)
 SCALP HUNTER 6748             1   1  0     6       WARRIOR'S (580)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-BETA 6677                     1   3  0     6       COLONY (575)
 HEY DANCER HAMMER 6713        1   1  0     6       SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)
-TSLOTHA GARNATH 6634          1   1  0     6       TEAM SKARABRAE (571)
-BRILHASTI 6584                0   4  0     6       TEAM SKARABRAE (571)
-SLAM-BANG 6658                1   2  0     5       CHOP'S PRIDE (573)
-PUNDIT 6655                   0   5  0     5       CHOP'S PRIDE (573)
-ALENDAR 6708                  1   1  0     4       TEAM SKARABRAE (571)
 PONY SOLDIER 6746             1   1  0     4       WARRIOR'S (580)
 SKY HAWK 6749                 1   1  0     4       WARRIOR'S (580)
-DELTA 6674                    0   4  0     4       COLONY (575)
 LOKI 6712                     0   3  0     3       KAMIKAZI (533)
 MEDICINE MAN 6745             0   2  0     2       WARRIOR'S (580)
 HEY SLAYER HAMMER 6714        0   2  0     2       SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)
-AEMILIUS PAULUS 6692          0   2  0     2       CHOP'S PRIDE (573)
 SOMEKIND OF MONSTER 6771      0   1  0     1       WOLFCATS (556)
 PHI HAMMER SLAMMA 6763        0   1  0     1       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 HEY AZRAEL HAMMER 6760        0   1  0     1       SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)
-UTOR 6721                     0   1  0     1       TEAM SKARABRAE (571)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
DA MEAT 2 6765         0  1 0 ANARKYSTS 341         BLACK ORC 20          477 NONE    
DA MEAT 1 6764         0  1 0 ANARKYSTS 341         STONE GOLEM 26        477 NONE    
STRAW GOLEM 6197       2  3 0 ANIMATED DESTRUCT 545 SLIPPERS MCGHEE 24    477 NONE    
DANCING BONES 6194     2  3 1 ANIMATED DESTRUCT 545 STONE GOLEM 26        477 NONE    
COBRA COMMANDER 6592   3  5 0 BLITZKRIEG 271        HAIL MARY 6389        473 REVENGED
MISCOUNT 6090          9  6 0 THE CHADS 482         DEVASTATOR 6079       473 NOT REVE
STORM SHADOW 6725      0  1 0 THE DREAMING 529      VELVET REVOLVER 6723  475         
ARACHNIA 6613          5  6 0 KAMIKAZI 533          EVIL JOHN KERRY 25    477 NONE    
OLD DIRT MCGIRT 6601   6  6 2 LEGENDARY BASTARD 259 BLACK ORC 20          477 NONE    
THE BEAST 6296        11  7 0 REVELATION 543        RILLION 21            477 NONE    
HOUND OF SATAN 6610    3  4 0 REVELATION 543        BLACKJACK 6163        474 NONE    
ELIZABETH RABBIT 6425  6 11 0 SCARRY TEAM 325       PIXIE DUST 6308       477         
HEY KILLER HAMME 6716  0  1 0 SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ 577 GARGOMEL 6750         476         
SLINK 6672             0  1 0 SKATE DRAGONS 500     RIPPLES DORRIGAN 23   477 NONE    
SWIPE 6772             0  1 0 WOLFCATS 556          WURM KIN 27           477 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Kerry Bear and Polarius -- Congratulations on taking the title of Jhans for yourself!
Good luck on the isle! -- !

JE -- Welcome back to Jhans, City of DOOM.  Actually, this ad was supposed to print
last cycle and seeing as how you challenged me I guess you already felt welcomed.
Good to see you here and good luck in the contest.  By the way where is Carnage? --
!ll.kid.k

Hammer -- Welcome to Jhans!  Welcome to the kLk!  Good to have one of the biggest
contest running, story writing peeps in the game on my side!  May our alliance grow
old and strong! -- TDH
P.S.  WALKER COUNTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tripwire -- You've been here in Jhans off and on for a while but allow me for the
first time to welcome you as an alliancemate.  Swords high, Trip!  Glad to have you
aboard! -- TDH

Chester -- Always, and I mean always, good to see you out and about.  Just wait.
We're going to take the swamp over.  Just got word tonight that all three CHAOS
members are coming to participate.  *grin*  That makes the ILLUMINATI, myself, you,
Azrael, P Diddy, Hammer, Tripwire, Nemesis (GET A TEAM, SHANNON!!), Flagg, Matrix,
Assamite, Assurnasir, who joined as a wildcard member for the contest, Baphomet, and

whoever Baph recruits right now for TCB (he's already had me declare like 3 guys just
this past turn).  We are FREAKIN HUGE!!!  We're large enough to split off into teams
and take out the other alliances in those groups.  *LIGHTBULB*  Hey.... -- TDH

Ed. -- I hope this is a little easier to read and input.  I appreciate you telling me
about text issue.  I will make sure to check the setting when I'm doing personals! --
Polarius

     *smile* If I had any gold stars, I'd send you one!  They look just right! -- Ed.

P-Diddy -- I understand that you are a little sore about me not running my low
warrior and challenging you with Kerry.  I think you should look at it a little
different.  Though I denied you a chance to BF me I did, in return, give you a shot
at the Throne.  Believe it or not Kerry vs. TLB wasn't as big a mismatch as you may
think. -- Polarius

Helter Skelter/Legendary Bastards -- Nice turns!  Congrats! -- Polarius

Balzaar -- May wanna watch those challenges...you'd hate to offend the GODs of DOOM!
-- Polarius

Baphomet -- After reading one of your personals last turn a question popped in my
mind.  I've really debated on whether or not I should ask it.  But...I figured what
the hell...who is Chester's girlfriend?  *Puzzled* -- Polarius

Hammer/Tripwire -- Welcome to, and in Tripwire's case back to, the arena.  I heard
you guys joined the kLk.  Hmm...I don't know if I should offer sympathy or congrats.
-- Polarius

Shawnda -- Nothing personal about the DC.  The CC's are just a little packed right
now!  I'm sure you'd have done the same thing! -- Union

*humming* Loki, Loki, Loki, there's poor Loki, beaten by a Serpent of Old!  (credit
goes to Cook's Pest Control)

Donna -- Maybe Sasquatch thought the ride was nasty and wanted to get off.  *smile*
-- Polarius
P.S.  I don't care who you are, that was a funny joke.

P -- How is Cali going?  Good I hope.  I'm sure the guys are all missing you. --
Polarius

doomCORPS -- Reading comprehension.  'Nuff said.

Polarius -- See above ad.  The PA said "will probably have" indicating that I haven't
even run them yet so how could I be bragging?  (About the team in Dragonhead.)  I was
pointing out lil kid's constant rambling about things he knows nothing about.  I am
activating that team to continue the experiments I started here in Jhans.  Since I
must bother to prove myself on the terms of my win loss here, I need a team to
continue with what interests me the most:  the game mechanics.  That's all that PA
was about. -- Azrael

Hammer and Tripwire -- Welcome to the fold, my new brothers!  I had to welcome you
guys in our home arena.  Especially considering the competition for your valued
alliance.  Baphomet and his TCB esteemed alliance.  I am truly honored that you two
chose us over our Illuminati brethren.  Even had you gone the other way still would
the Illuminati have grown only stronger with your additions.  May you stain your
swords with the blood of the "puppy pack" (roflmfao) and grow ever stronger! --
AZRAEL, Lord of Death, Lord High Commander, kLk Alliance, Illuminati Confederation of
Alliances

DOOMcorps -- Notice that only you are on the "no write list".  Proving kLk
superiority yet again.  Hell proving independent superiority. -- Azrael

Baphomet -- Love your spotlights!  Keep them comin"! -- Azrael

Cosmo -- So you want a definitive end, do you?  You asked for it, bro'! -- Azrael

Hammer -- Sorry, boss. -- Gargomel

Ed.-- I am no longer a member of the DOOMcorps and I have never had a problem with
other managers using me in their spots.-- Ultraist

     Right.  Sorry about that! -- Ed.

Cosmo & Helter Skelter -- Congratulations on reclaiming your top team spot once
again! -- !ll.kid.k & Legendary Bastards

Paladin -- Good never wins so you might as well ride out or next time I'll put the
spurs to you. -- Sasquatch Cowboy

Scalp Hunter -- I think you've got the wrong bastard.... -- Froste El Frio

Rillion -- I've seen better puds than you in my hog pen!  Don't ever try to collect a
bounty on a man that's been baptized in dirty water!  Better read up 'cause I'm the
Second Filthiest mad man round these parts...and that's only cause I haven't had time
to kill the first one yet. -- Old Dirt McGirt, stankin til the casket drops

Baphomet -- Is Pegasus what you call your friend who lives above you?  Your apology
is hanging slightly off balance and to the left. -- !

5 February 2005
On behalf of the ILLUMINATI Confederation of Alliances (The kLk, CHAOS, Inc. and The
Company of Brothers) I would like to express our sympathies concerning the tragic
loss of Rich Hammes to both the DM community and to the real life world.  Surely our
loss has been Heaven's gain. -- Talon Darkhart, deeply sorrowful
                                kLk God of War, Illuminati Alliance, Puppetmaster

1 March 2005
                                    The Contract
                         [as retold by Hammer the WordSmith]
     What had begun as a contract for swords and armor between a well known name in
the DM community and the former VC Captain/WordSmith and WeaponSmith of the Vendetta
Cartel Tarantula Tribe was destined to impact and altar the landscape of the dueling
community for years to come.
     The following is but a condensed retelling of history in the making.

    Hammer continued sipping his tankard of Elven Tonic as the mysterious hooded
figure quietly seated himself across the table from the Veteran Manager whose back
was against the wall; allowing for a subtle, but effective surveillance of the dimly
lit tavern.
     Recent events in both Illis and North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena had stunned the DM
managerial world with the announcement that Hammer had resigned from his position as
a well respected member of the Vendetta Cartel Alliance.
     Those managers and associates closest to Hammer were shocked and dismayed that
there seemed to be NO Rational Explanation for Hammer making such a seemingly
irrational, hasty and extremely illogical decision; by what seemed to be a spur of
the moment reaction following the Declaration of War by Hammer in the DM 47 P-ads.
     This is what stirred the mysterious hooded figure to seek Hammer with a request
that would change the managerial course of both men; ultimately Rocking the
Managerial World of Alastari as a result of the forthcoming decisions reached by the
two Veterans.
     Time passed swiftly as both Veteran Managers discussed how the landscape of the
DM game on the sands of Alastari had changed over the years both in Basic and Tourney
play; producing a new breed of managers who would of necessity band together in an
alliance with a common goal; waging war against antagonists while improving the
managerial skills of each participating member in their glorious quest for DM
excellence.
     Hammer listened intently as his unexpected guest inquired about the situation in
North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena; revealing his desire to participate in the upcoming
Turf War 4 contest in DM 47 with an alliance that would accept him on a more
permanent basis other than for just fighting together as a TW4 alliance to win fame
and Gift Certs.
     Here was a Veteran Manager, seeking the advice of Hammer regarding an alliance
to join on a permanent basis; plus extending a sword arm of friendship and requesting
that Hammer join him as an alliance mate with those who would welcome their
membership.
     The Iron in the Words of Hammer had produced this opportunity as a result of the
recent conflicts witnessed first hand by the manager seated across the table from
Hammer.  This Veteran Manager had been secretly searching and scouting around
Alastari for someone worth his mettle to fight alongside; someone who would know
where to find the perfect gang of rebels who were unafraid of waging war against
anyone.
     Hammer knew exactly where to look and in a matter of days the two newcomers were
welcomed into the ranks of a group of managers who received them as war waging equals
in an alliance that had joined a Confederation of Alliances for the TW4 contest.
     Fighting under the banner of The Illuminati Confederation of Alliances alongside
members of Chaos Inc, kLk and The Company of Brothers during the TW4 was more than
either of the two Veteran Managers had envisioned a few months ago.
     Hammer was now entering a new journey with a new attitude.
     Perhaps you readers may have noticed that new attitude by now since this
announcement by Hammer is uncharacteristically Exclamation Point Free.
     Except for the famous quote by Hammer at the end of this announcement.
     Now that Hammer and the Mysterious Hooded Figure have agreed to join forces with
an alliance whose members have welcomed them enthusiastically; let those who desire
to be antagonistic be forewarned as to the identities of these newly welcomed wagers
of war:

Tripwire
kLk Bringer of Pain

Hammer
kLk WordSmith and WeaponSmith
Minister of War
Illuminati Idealist

     "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

THE BEAST was butchered by RILLION in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
OLD DIRT MCGIRT was barely slain by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
STRAW GOLEM was killed by SLIPPERS MCGHEE in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
ARACHNIA was viciously butchered by EVIL JOHN KERRY in a 2 minute Dark Arena brawl.
DANCING BONES was slain by STONE GOLEM in a exciting 3 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
SLINK was butchered by RIPPLES DORRIGAN in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
SWIPE was assassinated by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena struggle.
DA MEAT 2 was killed by BLACK ORC in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
DA MEAT 1 was slain by STONE GOLEM in a action packed 2 minute Dark Arena melee.
UNION JACK unbelievably bested SANDPAPER CONDOM in a 2 minute Challenge Title duel.
OBLIVIOUS outwaited HAY RIDE in a slow 13 minute brutal veteran's Challenge duel.
PIGFEED PICKTAN handily defeated SHAWNDA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge bout.
REAPER was savagely defeated by SLASHIN' SPECK in a 4 minute Challenge competition.
PIXIE DUST savagely slew ELIZABETH RABBIT in a popular 1 minute Challenge brawl.
SASQUATCH COWBOY viciously subdued PIMP BEEFAROONY in a 9 minute Challenge fight.
T'HAEL was viciously subdued by SLAYIN STAYNER in a 2 minute gruesome Challenge duel.
GAMBIT overpowered SKY HAWK in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge brawl.
BEAUTIFUL SADNESS devastated BANANA GORILLA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
SERPENT OF OLD subdued LOKI in a 2 minute Challenge bout.
KALISTA J'NAE was overpowered by KATH AERIS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
GARGOMEL was overcome by PRINCE OF LIES in a 2 minute Challenge competition.
PLEASURE SPOTS overpowered DHAMPIRA in a 1 minute uneven Challenge fight.
WHISKERS subdued SALLY in a 1 minute beginner vs. expert upset Challenge bout.
HEY DRAGON HAMMER overcame FROSTY FROTHINGSLUSH in a 3 minute Challenge contest.
DONNA THE HUNTRESS was luckily beaten by CLURACAN in a 6 minute veteran's fight.
50/50 overpowered BADDA BAMM in a 1 minute uneven fight.
BOARDSLIDE was overpowered by THE LOVE BELOW in a 1 minute one-sided bout.
SUBZERO viciously subdued SKIRZA SLAPSTIK in a action packed 3 minute expert's bout.
SHADOW STARR was handily defeated by DEVASTATOR in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
HELIX PRIME won victory over JIGSAW KILLER in a popular 1 minute bout.
BATTERING RAM overpowered APOCALYPSE in a 1 minute uneven duel.
POUNCE was overpowered by PROBLEM in a 1 minute one-sided match.
PALADIN was overpowered by AYLA SECURA in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
CLOVER overpowered IKTHANUS in a exciting 1 minute uneven bout.
KILL-KID FIZZLE unbelievably bested FLYING BLADE in a 3 minute gory duel.
HEY DANCER HAMMER unbelievably bested MEDICINE MAN in a 3 minute novice's battle.
HEY SLAYER HAMMER was overpowered by FIREFLY in a 1 minute brutal one-sided fray.
HEY BURPER HAMMER demolished PONY SOLDIER in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
DAYCARE DIVA viciously subdued PHI HAMMER SLAMMA in a 6 minute gruesome novice's bout.
FALSE PROPHET was overpowered by JEDI MIND TRICK in a 1 minute one-sided competition.
CHIEF IRON HORSE vanquished HEY AZRAEL HAMMER in a 1 minute one-sided match.
SCALP HUNTER was luckily beaten by CATFISH CHIA in a 5 minute beginner's duel.
ROYAL DRAGON overcame SOMEKIND OF MONSTER in a popular 4 minute bloody amateur's duel.
TRIPPIN' DAISY beat PERSISTENT BEGGAR in a 2 minute beginner's competition.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|STRIKING ATTACK                 13         TOTAL PARRY       99 -  62 -  2      61  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                  12         WALL OF STEEL     26 -  23 -  0      53  |
|TOTAL PARRY                     12         AIMED BLOW        41 -  38 -  0      52  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                 12         BASHING ATTACK    44 -  46 -  3      49  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   7         STRIKING ATTACK   57 -  66 -  3      46  |
|AIMED BLOW                       6         LUNGING ATTACK   101 - 122 - 11      45  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         PARRY-STRIKE      19 -  28 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     4         PARRY-LUNGE        6 -  10 -  0      38  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      4         SLASHING ATTACK   35 -  63 -  3      36  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -  14 -  0      26  |

Turn 477 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         4 -  2     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  3         3  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     7 -  5     STRIKING ATTACK    5 -  8         3  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        7 -  5     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  2         2  WALL OF STEEL  
BASHING ATTACK     4 -  3     SLASHING ATTACK    3 -  9         2  BASHING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       2 -  2     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  4         1  LUNGING ATTACK 

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      UNION JACK 6015            25   6  0  110 BLITZKRIEG (271)
WALL OF STEEL    50/50 5603                 15   4  0  120 SKATE DRAGONS (500)
BASHING ATTACK   SUBZERO 6120               17   9  2  112 KAMIKAZI (533)

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  SANDPAPER CONDOM 6311      11   7  2  103 MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
LUNGING ATTACK   BOARDSLIDE 5608            13   9  4   88 SKATE DRAGONS (500)
AIMED BLOW       APOCALYPSE 6633             5   3  0   39 REVELATION (543)
PARRY-STRIKE     T'HAEL 6581                 6   5  0   37 THE FALLEN (524)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is SLAYIN STAYNER 5891.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was SCALP HUNTER 6748.  The ten other most popular fighters were SLASHIN' SPECK 
5854, HEY DRAGON HAMMER 6717, SUBZERO 6120, DANCING BONES 6194, SASQUATCH COWBOY 
6491, DA MEAT 1 6764, SANDPAPER CONDOM 6311, GARGOMEL 6750, SOMEKIND OF MONSTER 6771, 
and SLAYIN STAYNER 5891.

The least popular fighter this week was OBLIVIOUS 6101.  The other ten least popular 
fighters were PIMP BEEFAROONY 6579, FROSTY FROTHINGSLUSH 6684, HEY AZRAEL HAMMER 
6760, PONY SOLDIER 6746, HEY SLAYER HAMMER 6714, PALADIN 5410, POUNCE 6624, 
APOCALYPSE 6633, SALLY 6426, and DHAMPIRA 6703.

The following warriors will travel to AD after next turn:

UNION JACK (36-6015) BLITZKRIEG (271)