DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER

Date   : 03/31/2005    Duedate: 04/13/2005

JHANS ARENA

DM-36    TURN-479

This Weeks Top Honors

THE DUELMASTER IS

SANDPAPER CONDOM
MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
(36-6311) [13-7-2,116]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

SANDPAPER CONDOM               HEY DRAGON HAMMER
MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)         SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)
(36-6311) [13-7-2,116]         (36-6717) [3-1-0,21]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

SLAYIN STAYNER                 SLAYIN STAYNER
ANARKYSTS (341)                ANARKYSTS (341)
(36-5891) [17-14-1,98]         (36-5891) [17-14-1,98]

THE CURRENT TOP TEAM

MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)

          TEAMS ON THE MOVE            TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)       36
2. SPACE WOLVES (523)          32      REVELATION (543)
3. PORTAL (578)                19      Unchartered Team
4. BLITZKRIEG (271)            18
5. REVELATION (543)            16      SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1 WOLFCATS (556)            36  16  1 69.2   1/ 4 MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)   11  4 1
 2/ 3 REVELATION (543)         143  96  8 59.8   2/ 6 ANARKYSTS (341)           9  4 1
 3- 4 SKATE DRAGONS (500)       45  31  4 59.2   3/ 1 REVELATION (543)          9  5 0
 4/ 5 LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259) 316 285 22 52.6   4/11*SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)   9  6 1
 5/ 7 BLITZKRIEG (271)         192 178 15 51.9   5/ 2 SPACE WOLVES (523)        9  6 0
 6- 6 HELTER SKELTER (256)     542 504 33 51.8   6/ 3 BLITZKRIEG (271)          7  4 0
 7/ 0 BABES (416)              231 217  9 51.6   7/10 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     6  9 1
 8- 8 THE DREAMING (529)        64  62  4 50.8   8/ 9 ERRATA (490)              5  3 0
 9/ 9 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)     86  84  6 50.6   9-13 THE DREAMING (529)        5  5 0
10-10 PORN IN A BARN (551)      46  47  4 49.5  10/18*CLAN OF KEITH (582)       4  5 0
11/11 KAMIKAZI (533)            72  76  4 48.6  11/ 8 LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)  4  6 0
12-12*ANIMATED DESTRUCTI (545)  13  14  1 48.1  12/19*PORTAL (578)              4  6 0
13/13 MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)    51  56 10 47.7  13/14 KAMIKAZI (533)            4  8 0
14/16 ANARKYSTS (341)          364 421 38 46.4  14/ 7*WARRIOR'S (580)           4 11 0
15/15 THE FALLEN (524)          80  94  6 46.0  15- 5 HELTER SKELTER (256)      3  2 0
16/20*SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)    9  11  1 45.0  16/12 THE FALLEN (524)          3 10 0
17/21*CLAN OF KEITH (582)        4   5  0 44.4  17-15 PORN IN A BARN (551)      2  1 0
18/23 SPACE WOLVES (523)        20  26  0 43.5  18-16 SKATE DRAGONS (500)       2  2 0

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
19/ 0 BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)    28  38  2 42.4  19/ 0 BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)    1  2 0
20/14*WARRIOR'S (580)            8  12  0 40.0  20-21 WOLFCATS (556)            1  3 0
21/22*PORTAL (578)               4   6  0 40.0  21-20*ANIMATED DESTRUCTI (545)  1  3 0
22/18 SCARRY TEAM (325)        147 221  4 39.9  22-22*TEAM FOUR (581)           1  4 0
23/24 ERRATA (490)              31  52  1 37.3  23/23 SCARRY TEAM (325)         0  7 0
24-25*TEAM FOUR (581)            1   4  0 20.0  24/ 0 BABES (416)               0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

     Ladies and Gentleman, Lord Protector Skirza Slapstik!!
     "Me Skirza am being glad to be being graduated.  Me hope to uphold the
reputation of Jhans at me new arena being at......."
     "That's enough, Lord Protector Slapstik," Lord High Commander Azrael
interrupted, "The people can't handle that much of your speech.  We will miss you,
now go home."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                                    Jhans Journal
                               by Hammer the WordSmith

     Hammer held the chain link leash steady while his Elven War Hound strained to
escape the constraint as the scent of its quarry filled its nostrils with renewed
fury.
     Somewhere in the dim lit gloom crouched the object of Hammer's interest.
     Hammer withdrew an Elven Orb of Transport from the folds of his Elven War Cloak
as he called out to the huddled figure in the gloom of the underground catacombs deep
beneath the Jhans Arena.
     "I mean you no harm!"
     Hammer held the Elven Orb of Transport aloft as the soft glow began emanating
throughout the corridors of the catacomb passageways.
     "I fought alongside one such as you in days gone by in another place and another
time!"
     Silence.
     "I was allied with one such as you in the Ice Caverns of Vithicar Arena when
others sought his death!"
     More silence.
     "I know where to find you when your craving draws you!"
     A smile of satisfaction curled Hammer's lips as the unmistakable muffled cry of
despair reached his ears as his Elven War Hound snarled a reply in kind.
     Instantly Hammer disappeared in the midst of a maelstrom of colors as his Elven
Orb of Transport conveyed him to a new destination.
     It was only a matter of time now.

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

Thanks to the Loser that got me here...don't mind those marks my hobnailed boots made
on yer ugly mug...they add character.  Also, thanks to the losers that got my manager
to stop running his stable on maint....  Those easy wins they got off me when Iver
wasn't paying attention really pissed me off.  Seriously tho' I don't usually waste
my time talking to the dregs of society, but in this case I'll make an exception...
especially since it was a loser among losers....  Anyway, here's hoping another of
the klk will try to take me down....  I really need to start working on some kills.
Step on up.

-- Speck

                                      SPY REPORT

     Good day, friends and fiends, welcome to your friendly neighborhood spyreport.  
I doubt JHANS will ever be the same.  It seems the training can make the difference, 
as REVELATION is pushed out of top team by MEMPHIS MAFIA II, who came from 4th with a 
3-2-0 this turn.  CLAN OF KEITH stable has parlayed this turn's 2-2-0 into a 8 space 
move up the rankings.  This brings them up to 10th place.  Good work, guys!  The 
SPACE WOLVES guild has had a 4-1-0 turn and deserves to be watched in the future.  
You never know where this kind of thing can lead.  And let's see, SHADOW STARR fought 
SKIRZA SLAPSTIK and gained 26 points and contributed to SUICIDAL DREAMS' 3-2-1.  
SKIRZA SLAPSTIK has lost to SHADOW STARR, falling 25 points, while helping make THE 
FALLEN a 1-3-0 turn.  And all eyes were on SANDPAPER CONDOM this turn as he ascended 
to the throne of Duelmaster.  JHANS has a new victor!  Can someone confirm a rumor 
for me?  I hear the top team makes their losing fighters do dishes at Lucas Lounge 
until they win.  Maybe?   
     He who challenges well, fights well.  He who avoids without cause, shall lose 
for good reasons.  My mama told me that one.  HELTER SKELTER has cause to stand tall, 
as they were JHANS' most avoided team.  A smart manager knows this is a team to beat. 
And avoiding HELTER SKELTER more than any other team we find SUICIDAL DREAMS.  JHANS, 
are we going to accept, or respect this sort of thing?  The most challenged warrior 
this turn was MEMPHIS MAFIA II's warrior TRIPPIN' DAISY.  More fighters challenged 
her than challenged the Duelmaster!  In a brave attempt, PRINCE OF LIES from 
REVELATION challenged up 19 points to fight PIXIE DUST from the MEMPHIS MAFIA II 
stable.  PRINCE OF LIES perhaps got his just desserts, seeing as he defeated PIXIE 
DUST and ended up with 62 recognition points.   
     We only live a short time in this world, so why not take a sharp blade, and 
shave it close?  You gotta do what you gotta do.  KAMIKAZI has sent SUBZERO to the 
Dark Arena.  The deed is done.  Lift the ale, and toast the memory.  KAMIKAZI has 
some questions to answer.  Like 'why did you kill your fighter, SUBZERO, who had a 
record of 17-10-2?' BADDA BAMM must have surprised SUICIDAL DREAMS this turn, after 
they sent him to the Dark Arena, but the Dark Arena couldn't hold him!  A farewell 
moment, if you please, KIZZY LYNNE of BOOKIE'S BROTHEL has been sent to the Dark 
Arena, and was carried out on hers shield.  RAVEN DARKHART has departed JHANS, 
leaving BOOKIE'S BROTHEL without their 5-5-1 warrior.  Question, just what was hers 
team doing at the taverns last night?  ANARKYSTS, with any luck BOOKIE'S BROTHEL will 
successfully bloodfeud PIGFEED PICKTAN for killing such a warrior as RAVEN DARKHART.  
Have a little decency, will ya?  Is it really true that JHANS has more dishwashers 
per capita that fighters?  Just thought I'd ask...   
     I like this place, JHANS, the taverns have old wine, and young serving girls.  
Who could ask for more?  It's been nice chatting with you, until we meet again, keep 
your swords sharp and your hammers heavy.  Until you see my quill in JHANS again, 
farewell-- Alarond the Scribe  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SANDPAPER CONDOM 6311        13   7  2   116       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TIMBER LION 6370             13   0  0   142       WOLFCATS (556)
-50/50 5603                   15   4  0   120       SKATE DRAGONS (500)
-THE LOVE BELOW 6187          13   5  2   112       THE DREAMING (529)
-HAY RIDE 6305                16   4  0   103       PORN IN A BARN (551)
-FRANKENSLOSH 5901            15   5  0   103       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 SLAYIN STAYNER 5891          17  14  1    98       ANARKYSTS (341)
 PIGFEED PICKTAN 6124         21   8  1    97       ANARKYSTS (341)
-BENANDANTI 6467              11   3  1    95       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 SHADOW STARR 5999            16  19  1    94       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 SLASHIN' SPECK 5854          17  24  2    92       ANARKYSTS (341)
 BADDA BAMM 6075              16  15  1    92       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
-MARCIE 6076                  13  11  1    92       BABES (416)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-CLURACAN 6035                19   7  0    90       THE DREAMING (529)
-BOARDSLIDE 5608              13   9  4    88       SKATE DRAGONS (500)
-WHIRLING MIST 5026           21  12  0    87       LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 REAPER 6150                  13  13  0    86       KAMIKAZI (533)
-DEVASTATOR 6079              16  14  2    84       THE FALLEN (524)
-MONKEY SHINE 5927            11   6  0    79       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 OBLIVIOUS 6101               18  11  0    76       KAMIKAZI (533)
 SASQUATCH COWBOY 6491        11   5  1    72       LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)
-RAKAR 5307                   11   6  1    68       IRON TIGERS (484)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 NEON'S MAMMA 6376             7   5  0    63       BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)
-I.B. KLONIN 6408              6   7  1    62       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 PRINCE OF LIES 6697           5   1  0    62       REVELATION (543)
 DONNA THE HUNTRESS 6307       9  12  0    60       THE FALLEN (524)
-BATTERING RAM 6198            6   1  0    60       ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JIGSAW KILLER 6627            6   6  1    56       LEGENDARY BASTARDS (259)
 PIXIE DUST 6308              13   7  2    52       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 AYLA SECURA 6661              4   2  0    49       SPACE WOLVES (523)
 GAMBIT 6161                   8  14  2    48       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
 CLOVER 5959                   6   8  0    48       ERRATA (490)
 IKTHANUS 6691                 3   3  0    48       SPACE WOLVES (523)
-PROBLEM 5977                  4   4  0    44       ERRATA (490)
-ONE TRICK PONY 6589           5   5  1    43       PORN IN A BARN (551)
 T'HAEL 6581                   7   6  0    40       THE FALLEN (524)
-PIMP BEEFAROONY 6579          8   4  0    35       THE DREAMING (529)
 APOCALYPSE 6633               6   4  0    35       REVELATION (543)
 HELIX PRIME 6344              5   2  0    35       SPACE WOLVES (523)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PALADIN 5410                  6   9  0    33       ERRATA (490)
-GOAT CHEESE 6718              1   0  1    33       PORN IN A BARN (551)
 KILL-KID FIZZLE 6646          8   1  0    31       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 SERPENT OF OLD 6696           5   1  0    31       REVELATION (543)
-DIVIT 5974                    3   3  0    31       ERRATA (490)
 SALLY 6426                    5  14  0    29       SCARRY TEAM (325)
-CHESTER 4616                  4   1  0    29       HELTER SKELTER (256)
 KATH AERIS 6381               4   3  0    28       SPACE WOLVES (523)
 BANANA GORILLA 5276           4  15  0    27       SCARRY TEAM (325)
 BEAUTIFUL SADNESS 6558        4   8  0    27       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
-WHISKERS 6701                 3   1  0    25       PORN IN A BARN (551)
-PLEASURE SPOTS 6707           2   0  0    25       WOLFCATS (556)
 GUNNIN' GOLDSTEIN 6778        2   0  0    25       ANARKYSTS (341)
 TRIPPIN' DAISY 6762           3   0  0    24       MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DHAMPIRA 6703                 4   2  0    23       SPACE WOLVES (523)
-JEDI MIND TRICK 6673          1   0  0    23       SKATE DRAGONS (500)
 HEY DRAGON HAMMER 6717        3   1  0    21       SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)
-FLYING BLADE 6196             3   4  0    19       ANIMATED DESTRUCTION (545)
 ROYAL DRAGON 6751             3   1  0    19       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-FALSE PROPHET 6724            3   1  0    18       REVELATION (543)
-LOKI 6712                     1   3  0    18       KAMIKAZI (533)
 KALISTA J'NAE 6631            4   5  0    17       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 CHIEF IRON HORSE 6747         3   1  0    16       WARRIOR'S (580)
 CATFISH CHIA 6773             2   1  0    16       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-FIREFLY 6761                  2   0  0    14       THE DREAMING (529)
 GRIM 6731                     2   0  0    14       PORTAL (578)
-NIKITA 6639                   3   1  0    13       BABES (416)
 HEY AZRAEL HAMMER 6760        1   2  1    13       SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)
 SCALP HUNTER 6748             2   2  0    12       WARRIOR'S (580)
 HEY BURPER HAMMER 6715        2   2  0    12       SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)
 BANE 6730                     2   0  0    11       PORTAL (578)
 HEY DANCER HAMMER 6713        2   2  0     9       SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-POUNCE 6624                   1   2  0     9       WOLFCATS (556)
-PRINCE OF DARKNESS 6753       0   1  0     9       TEAM FOUR (581)
 PONY SOLDIER 6746             2   2  0     8       WARRIOR'S (580)
-DAYCARE DIVA 6722             2   2  0     8       BLITZKRIEG (271)
-ALLIS 6415                    1   1  0     8       ERRATA (490)
 HELANDER 6766                 2   0  0     7       CLAN OF KEITH (582)
 GARGOMEL 6750                 1   3  1     7       THE FALLEN (524)
 HEY SLAYER HAMMER 6714        1   3  0     7       SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ (577)
-PLUMBER 6757                  1   0  0     6       TEAM FOUR (581)
-TRA'SHELLE XANIA 6630         1   3  0     6       BOOKIE'S BROTHEL (554)
 BRUSH WILLOW 6767             1   1  0     6       CLAN OF KEITH (582)
 KRAGER 6768                   1   1  0     6       CLAN OF KEITH (582)
 VELVET REVOLVER 6723          1   1  1     5       BLITZKRIEG (271)
 THE APOSTLE 6781              1   1  0     4       REVELATION (543)
 MEDICINE MAN 6745             0   4  0     4       WARRIOR'S (580)
 PHI HAMMER SLAMMA 6763        0   3  0     3       SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
 HELASHAR 6733                 0   2  0     2       PORTAL (578)
 PEAT BOG 6769                 0   2  0     2       CLAN OF KEITH (582)
 STONE 6729                    0   2  0     2       PORTAL (578)
-SOMEKIND OF MONSTER 6771      0   1  0     1       WOLFCATS (556)
-FOUR BITS 6752                0   1  0     1       TEAM FOUR (581)
-4-SAKEN 6756                  0   1  0     1       TEAM FOUR (581)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
DINA 6737              0  1 0 BABES 416             STONE GOLEM 26        479 NONE    
KIZZY LYNNE 6375       7  5 0 BOOKIE'S BROTHEL 554  BLACK ORC 20          479 NONE    
RAVEN DARKHART 6465    5  6 1 BOOKIE'S BROTHEL 554  PIGFEED PICKTAN 6124  479         
EVIL JOHN KERRY 25     0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          BADDA BAMM 6075       479 NONE    
STORM SHADOW 6725      0  1 0 THE DREAMING 529      VELVET REVOLVER 6723  475 NONE    
SUBZERO 6120          17 11 2 KAMIKAZI 533          WURM KIN 27           479 NONE    
FROSTY FROTHINGS 6684  3  5 0 LEGENDARY BASTARD 259 RILLION 21            479 NONE    
RAIN 6732              0  2 0 PORTAL 578            HEY AZRAEL HAMME 6760 479         
ELIZABETH RABBIT 6425  6 11 0 SCARRY TEAM 325       PIXIE DUST 6308       477         
HEY KILLER HAMME 6716  0  1 0 SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ 577 GARGOMEL 6750         476         
SKY HAWK 6749          1  3 0 WARRIOR'S 580         EVIL JOHN KERRY 25    479 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

!ll.kid.k -- Nice talking to you again.  Looks like a lot of quality mangers.  Can I
type k for short, typing in all those numbers is confusing to a old guy. -- Shaman
(Warriors)

TDH -- Still owe you one, just going to take awhile. -- Shaman

Azrael -- Fools are everywhere.  You can smell the fear in air.  Kamikaze attack the
doomies.  Perpetuate them to their graves. -- TDH
P.S.  Swords high and crotch-chops low!!

Monkey Shine -- Now that was something your manager knows a lot about....  That's how
you spank a monkey!! -- Sandpaper Condom

Kid -- Still waiting. -- Pixie Dust
P.S.  xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Azrael -- Congratulations on your first graduate!!  Surely it is but the first of
many as there is no alliance in this arena capable of stopping you! -- TDH

Angus -- Already talked to ya bout this but...like I said, wasn't personal.  The guy
I really wanna get a hold of avoids me all the time.  *shrug*  Until 'he' stops
ducking me out I gotta go after somebody.  I did drop the KD to 5 FYI and I figured
you'd learn well.  When looking for opponents later I'll pass your name by for a few.
I'll bounce around hit some of the other poor struggling adepts.  Wait...isn't JE in
here.... *grin* -- TDH
P.S.  Yea, I know you're gonna pop me back and as hard as you can at that.  That's
the fun of the game, man.  Just run with the violence...it's healthy.

Polarius -- Like the drama...don't ya? -- TDH

Jhans Junkies -- Get yer shots at my better than yer average RSI Stand In stable of
SHOUT HEY HAMMERZ while I am too busy to keep track of things! -- Hammer

Polarius -- Gargomel challenges Prince of Lies:  I wish I could call that an
experimental run but I just frothed up, forgot to do the challenge strat.  Hope you
liked the free win. -- Azrael

DOOMcorps=roflmfao

Jhans -- Next turn I get serious again. -- Azrael

Iver & Slashin Speck -- Congrats on taking the throne!  Way to keep serving up those
denials! -- !ll.kid.k

Polarius & Revalation -- Congratulations on current top team.  It looks like those
Wolves have caught your scent though!  Hard to believe, considering the thick and
noxious fog polluting the air from the south side of town. -- !ll.kid.k

JE -- Are your boys not sticking around? -- !

Helix Prime -- Indeed. *sly grin* -- Jigsaw Killer

Pimp Beefaloney -- Dij' vu.  You set em up and I slap em down.  Seems to be the
universal relationship between our alignments. -- Sasquatch Cowboy, serving up
another can of that steamy stuff

1 March 2005
                                    The Contract
                         [as retold by Hammer the WordSmith]
     What had begun as a contract for swords and armor between a well known name in
the DM community and the former VC Captain/WordSmith and WeaponSmith of the Vendetta
Cartel Tarantula Tribe was destined to impact and altar the landscape of the dueling
community for years to come.
     The following is but a condensed retelling of history in the making.

    Hammer continued sipping his tankard of Elven Tonic as the mysterious hooded
figure quietly seated himself across the table from the Veteran Manager whose back
was against the wall; allowing for a subtle, but effective surveillance of the dimly
lit tavern.
     Recent events in both Illis and North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena had stunned the DM
managerial world with the announcement that Hammer had resigned from his position as
a well respected member of the Vendetta Cartel Alliance.
     Those managers and associates closest to Hammer were shocked and dismayed that
there seemed to be NO Rational Explanation for Hammer making such a seemingly
irrational, hasty and extremely illogical decision; by what seemed to be a spur of
the moment reaction following the Declaration of War by Hammer in the DM 47 P-ads.
     This is what stirred the mysterious hooded figure to seek Hammer with a request
that would change the managerial course of both men; ultimately Rocking the
Managerial World of Alastari as a result of the forthcoming decisions reached by the
two Veterans.
     Time passed swiftly as both Veteran Managers discussed how the landscape of the
DM game on the sands of Alastari had changed over the years both in Basic and Tourney
play; producing a new breed of managers who would of necessity band together in an
alliance with a common goal; waging war against antagonists while improving the
managerial skills of each participating member in their glorious quest for DM
excellence.
     Hammer listened intently as his unexpected guest inquired about the situation in
North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena; revealing his desire to participate in the upcoming
Turf War 4 contest in DM 47 with an alliance that would accept him on a more
permanent basis other than for just fighting together as a TW4 alliance to win fame
and Gift Certs.
     Here was a Veteran Manager, seeking the advice of Hammer regarding an alliance
to join on a permanent basis; plus extending a sword arm of friendship and requesting
that Hammer join him as an alliance mate with those who would welcome their
membership.
     The Iron in the Words of Hammer had produced this opportunity as a result of the
recent conflicts witnessed first hand by the manager seated across the table from
Hammer.  This Veteran Manager had been secretly searching and scouting around
Alastari for someone worth his mettle to fight alongside; someone who would know
where to find the perfect gang of rebels who were unafraid of waging war against
anyone.
     Hammer knew exactly where to look and in a matter of days the two newcomers were
welcomed into the ranks of a group of managers who received them as war waging equals
in an alliance that had joined a Confederation of Alliances for the TW4 contest.
     Fighting under the banner of The Illuminati Confederation of Alliances alongside
members of Chaos Inc, kLk and The Company of Brothers during the TW4 was more than
either of the two Veteran Managers had envisioned a few months ago.
     Hammer was now entering a new journey with a new attitude.
     Perhaps you readers may have noticed that new attitude by now since this
announcement by Hammer is uncharacteristically Exclamation Point Free.
     Except for the famous quote by Hammer at the end of this announcement.
     Now that Hammer and the Mysterious Hooded Figure have agreed to join forces with
an alliance whose members have welcomed them enthusiastically; let those who desire
to be antagonistic be forewarned as to the identities of these newly welcomed wagers
of war:

Tripwire
kLk Bringer of Pain

Hammer
kLk WordSmith and WeaponSmith
Minister of War
Illuminati Idealist

     "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"

28 March 2005
Is there anybody in the DM game who is incarcerated that has had to litigate in order
to continue playing?  Or anyone in the free world who may be able to help me with
case law or legal advice?  The Administration has already taken "D&D type games" from
us once (though I recently had that decision overturned).  I believe it's only a
matter of time before they try it again and I am prepared to file a lawsuit if need
be.  I enjoy DM and any help that could be offered would be greatly appreciated!  I
can be contacted at:
     Danny Warren
     #28341
     P.O. Box 250 
     Draper, UT  84070
     or:
     Heathen, mgr. Misnomers DM 47

28 March 2005
Ladies and gents...get your teams together and join in on the hottest and fiercest
contest ever to grace the arena sands!  Intrigue, personal wars, you name it...we got
it going on!  What is this contest?  It's the Turf War IV in DM 47, North Fork!!
This fantastic contest was begun by my alliance mate Asmo Dius, and I've picked up
some of the slack.  Contest starts on Turn 225 (approx. date June 9th?).  It's an
"alliance-type contest", so grab your folks and bring them in for a bang up time.
Rules will be printed in the DM 47 newsletter at least until the contest starts. --
Baphomet, Host...Company of Brothers Alliance, Illuminati Confederation of Alliances

28 March 2005
Contest Announcement
====================
It's finally here!  ScumFest 2005!  The greatest scum in the land of Alastari are
formally invited to participate in ScumFest 2005, a contest involving the scummiest
scum in all of Alastari!

Who:  All Scum in Alastari
What:  Scum Fest 2005!
Where:  Talahya
When:  May 23rd, Talahya Turns 490-499

Rules
======
The object of winning ScumFest is to have the longest cumulative time (in minutes) at
the end of the 10th round.

Should there be a tie at the end of 10 rounds, tiebreakers are (in order):
- Head to Head Record
- Win/Loss Percentage
- Average Fight Length
(We'll go into overtime if they're still tied)

There are no other rules.  A manager may use any means at his disposal in order to
accomplish his goal.  Collusion, hiring Aimed Blows to take out the leaders, etc.
Anything goes!

To enter the scum fest, please write a personal ad in the DM 100 newsletter,
declaring your intention to join the contest, or send an email to managerr@aol.com

Please include warrior name and ID numbers of the contestants.  You may enter the
competition up until Turn 494.

Prizes will be announced after the competition begins.  The point of the contest is
to prove you have the scummiest scum, and necessarily for a silly prize.

Good luck and Happy Scumming!

-- Manager

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SUBZERO was butchered by WURM KIN in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
BADDA BAMM savagely slew EVIL JOHN KERRY in a exciting 1 minute gory Dark Arena melee.
KIZZY LYNNE was slaughtered by BLACK ORC in a 1 minute Dark Arena brawl.
FROSTY FROTHINGSLUSH was butchered by RILLION in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena fight.
SKY HAWK was murdered by EVIL JOHN KERRY in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena competition.
DINA was dispatched by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena fight.
HELIX PRIME was bested by GAMBIT in a crowd pleasing 1 minute Challenge match.
OBLIVIOUS was viciously subdued by SLAYIN STAYNER in a 7 minute Challenge fight.
DONNA THE HUNTRESS was vanquished by REAPER in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
AYLA SECURA vanquished PALADIN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
BEAUTIFUL SADNESS was overpowered by CLOVER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge match.
PRINCE OF LIES luckily beat PIXIE DUST in a exciting 3 minute Challenge fight.
KILL-KID FIZZLE luckily beat SALLY in a 4 minute bloody Challenge competition.
T'HAEL devastated BANANA GORILLA in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge battle.
DHAMPIRA bested SCALP HUNTER in a 3 minute Challenge bout.
CATFISH CHIA unbelievably bested KALISTA J'NAE in a 3 minute Challenge conflict.
RAIN was assassinated by HEY AZRAEL HAMMER in a 1 minute uneven Challenge struggle.
PONY SOLDIER was handily defeated by SERPENT OF OLD in a 1 minute Challenge bout.
CHIEF IRON HORSE slimly won victory over HEY SLAYER HAMMER in a 2 minute brawl.
KRAGER outlasted THE APOSTLE in a tiresome 21 minute gory novice's Challenge bout.
BRUSH WILLOW was overcome by TRIPPIN' DAISY in a 6 minute Challenge competition.
GARGOMEL was overpowered by GUNNIN' GOLDSTEIN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
SLASHIN' SPECK was overpowered by SANDPAPER CONDOM in a 1 minute uneven Title fray.
SKIRZA SLAPSTIK was viciously subdued by SHADOW STARR in a 2 minute veteran's contest.
PIGFEED PICKTAN assassinated RAVEN DARKHART in a 1 minute uneven fight.
JIGSAW KILLER was beaten by NEON'S MAMMA in a action packed 3 minute fight.
SASQUATCH COWBOY defeated KUNG-FU MASTER in a 1 minute bout.
APOCALYPSE was subdued by IKTHANUS in a exciting 1 minute gruesome melee.
KATH AERIS handily defeated MEDICINE MAN in a 1 minute uneven bout.
STONE was outlasted by HELANDER in a tiresome 14 minute beginner's competition.
BANE luckily beat VELVET REVOLVER in a dull 12 minute gory beginner's fight.
GRIM overpowered PHI HAMMER SLAMMA in a 1 minute one-sided match.
HELASHAR was defeated by HEY DANCER HAMMER in a popular 3 minute novice's bout.
HEY DRAGON HAMMER viciously subdued PEAT BOG in a 3 minute amateur's match.
HEY BURPER HAMMER was bested by ROYAL DRAGON in a 5 minute novice's battle.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|TOTAL PARRY                     15         TOTAL PARRY      102 -  65 -  1      61  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                 10         WALL OF STEEL     30 -  22 -  0      58  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   8         AIMED BLOW        33 -  31 -  0      52  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  7         STRIKING ATTACK   62 -  66 -  4      48  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         BASHING ATTACK    39 -  47 -  3      45  |
|AIMED BLOW                       5         LUNGING ATTACK    85 - 105 -  7      45  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   5         PARRY-LUNGE        8 -  11 -  0      42  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         SLASHING ATTACK   35 -  62 -  4      36  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-STRIKE      16 -  31 -  0      34  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -  19 -  0      24  |

Turn 479 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

STRIKING ATTACK    6 -  4     AIMED BLOW         2 -  3         4  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        9 -  6     SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  5         3  TOTAL PARRY    
WALL OF STEEL      3 -  2     PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  3         2  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     1 -  4         1  WALL OF STEEL  
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  1                                       1  BASHING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  4     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
STRIKING ATTACK  SANDPAPER CONDOM 6311      13   7  2  116 MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
BASHING ATTACK   BADDA BAMM 6075            16  15  1   92 SUICIDAL DREAMS (525)
TOTAL PARRY      OBLIVIOUS 6101             18  11  0   76 KAMIKAZI (533)
LUNGING ATTACK   PIXIE DUST 6308            13   7  2   52 MEMPHIS MAFIA II (542)
PARRY-STRIKE     T'HAEL 6581                 7   6  0   40 THE FALLEN (524)
AIMED BLOW       APOCALYPSE 6633             6   4  0   35 REVELATION (543)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is SLAYIN STAYNER 5891.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was SLAYIN STAYNER 5891.  The ten other most popular fighters were TRIPPIN' 
DAISY 6762, PIXIE DUST 6308, HEY DRAGON HAMMER 6717, KALISTA J'NAE 6631, JIGSAW 
KILLER 6627, CHIEF IRON HORSE 6747, HEY SLAYER HAMMER 6714, HELASHAR 6733, HEY BURPER 
HAMMER 6715, and SALLY 6426.

The least popular fighter this week was THE APOSTLE 6781.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were KRAGER 6768, HELANDER 6766, STONE 6729, BANE 6730, PEAT BOG 
6769, PHI HAMMER SLAMMA 6763, MEDICINE MAN 6745, RAVEN DARKHART 6465, SLASHIN' SPECK 
5854, and GARGOMEL 6750.

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

SKIRZA SLAPSTIK (36-5996) THE FALLEN (524)

                    HOLD THE DATES!  (FACE-TO-FACE XXXV AND XXXVI)

Summer Face-to-Face Tournament XXXV in St. Louis!  
Our next summer FTF will be held in downtown St. Louis, July 29-31, 2005.  It will be 
at the Radisson Hotel & Suites, St. Louis (800-925-1395--ask for the Reality 
Simulations room block). Room rates are $99.00 per night, 1-4 occupancy.  The rooms 
are blocked--please make your reservation by mid-June before the block is released! 
Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet.  See you there!

Winter Face-to-Face Tournament XXXVI in Tempe!
Our next winter FTF will be held in Tempe, Arizona, January 20-22, 2006.  It will be 
held at the Embassy Suites Hotel in Tempe, Arizona (480-894-7444), the same hotel as 
last year by popular request.  Room rates are $139.00 per night (same as last year!), 
1-4 occupancy, which includes full cooked breakfast, complimentary manager's 
reception, free airport shuttle, free parking, high speed internet (for extra charge), 
fitness center, jacuzzi, and pool.  The rooms are blocked--please make your 
reservation soon before the block is released!  (This is prime season for Phoenix, and
several people were unable to book rooms last year because they waited too long.)  
Look for transportation info in the tournament information sheet.  We hope you're all 
looking forward to it and that we will see you there!