Date   : 04/22/2006    Duedate: 05/19/2006


DM-39    TURN-220

This Weeks Top Honors


(39-3603) [10-0-0,145]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

SKULK                          MIDNIGHT NINJA
CHEAP SHOTS (426)              EVIL INC (440)
(39-3603) [10-0-0,145]         (39-3734) [1-0-0,15]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

QUIA RAYNE                     QUIA RAYNE
THE MIDDLE WAY (385)           THE MIDDLE WAY (385)
(39-3636) [12-19-0,86]         (39-3636) [12-19-0,86]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. EVIL INC (440)              49
2. DOG SOLDIERS II (443)       30      CHEAP SHOTS (426)
3. THE MIDDLE WAY (385)        20      Unchartered Team
4. CRIMINAL ELEMENT (379)       2
5. CHEAP SHOTS (426)            0      EVIL INC (440)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 CHEAP SHOTS (426)         48   9  0 84.2   1/ 1 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (379)    7  5 0
 2/ 2 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (379)   208 132 10 61.2   2/ 4 DOG SOLDIERS II (443)     7  8 1
 3- 3 DUCKS UNLIMITED (143)    155 115 12 57.4   3/ 3 THE MIDDLE WAY (385)      7  8 0
 4/ 6*EVIL INC (440)             4   3  1 57.1   4/ 2 CHEAP SHOTS (426)         6  2 0
 5/ 4 THE MIDDLE WAY (385)     194 210  9 48.0   5/ 6*EVIL INC (440)            4  2 1
 6/ 5 DOG SOLDIERS II (443)     25  32  3 43.9   6- 5 DUCKS UNLIMITED (143)     3  2 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Black Sword #10 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

On the plains:

     A hunting charm was something Shanks Pony was prepared to use without a qualm.
He'd used them before, most Rirorni had.  They were as natural as using smoke to hide
your scent.  Any hunter could make one, although some were better than others.
Probably all three of his companions could do better ones than he could, because they
had more experience, but at least he would be able to understand what they were
     He was actually looking forward to that.  He would learn useful things.  A man
didn't pursue shamans and magical swords very often, but he could ALWAYS use a good
hunting charm.  "So we make hunting charms and..." the next part sent a shiver down
his spine, "go after Bluesnake?"
     "It would help if we had some idea where Bluesnake is likely to be," Redfox
     Barudai nodded.  "I've never had any luck with a charm if I didn't know
something about where to look for the deer to begin with," he agreed.  Both of them
looked at Ghost Dancer.
     The young shaman shook his head.  "The closest I could get is that he is
probably looking for the Black Sword, too."
     "That isn't much help," Shanks muttered.  "What do we...?"
     "It isn't as bad as it sounds," Redfox added after a moment.  "Apparently
Bluesnake doesn't know any more about the sword's location than we do:  that it was
in Taegskel a few years ago.  So he has to go there to look for it, same as we were
planning on."
     "He could just send somebody," Barudai suggested.
     "No."  Ghost Dancer was definite about that.  "If you want something like the
Black Sword for yourself, you don't send someone else to find it."  He smiled grimly.
"Anyone who would want the Sword for himself is going to have nothing but unreliable
     "Or dupes."
     Ghost Dancer hesitated, staring at the horizon and frowning, then shook his
head.  "Sending a dupe after the Sword would be a mistake, too.  The poor fool would
probably end up as the Sword's dupe, if I understand the nature of the Sword
     Shanks Pony straightened in his saddle, pulling his mount to a stop.  "Are WE
going to be in danger from the Sword when we find it?"
     "Yes."  That was Ghost Dancer and Redfox together.
     "Any person who is near a Black Sword is at risk," Ghost Dancer said.  "That is
the nature of the Sword.  After all, it's a gift, if you want to call it that, from
Mytori Iron-Hand.  What else would you expect?"
     "But what are we supposed to do when we find it?" the young nomad asked.
     "Pray to Shierah and watch each other closely," Barudai said.
     That was not what Shanks wanted to hear.  They were the Good Guys, they should
have some defense against an Evil Magic Sword.  Or in this case, an Evil Holy Sword,
he supposed.  He reviewed the ballads he'd grown up with, discarding all those with
tragic ends.  "Uh...maybe we'll be safe from Mytori because our hearts are pure?"
     Ghost Dancer choked, Barudai snorted derisively, and Redfox shook his head.  It
was Redfox who put the answer into words:  "Nobody's heart is pure.  We're all human,
and that means mixed motives, hidden sins, shameful desires, you name it.  But those
of us who are the 'Good Guys' do the best we can instead of the worst we can."
     That was an indigestible lump that Shanks Pony would have rejected if he could.
But it only took a moment's thought to realize that there were things on his
conscience which kept it from being 'pure'.  Little things, but maybe it didn't make
that much difference whether his mistakes had been little or big?  That seemed
unfair, but as his fellow tribesmen had often pointed out, life was unfair.  He
looked around the shallow, brush-choked valley and its grassy slopes, hoping for
something, anything, that would provide a different answer.
     And noticed the clumps of willows moving in a way not explained by the light

            + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ The Black Sword #11 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

On the plains:

     If he had to meet an ambush, Shanks Pony decided, he was in good company.  The
three men with him were steady and experienced.  They knew what to do, and they did
it.  He looked around to locate the best cover from which to fight the ambushers.
That would probably be the--
     Shierah!  They had turned their horses and where charging straight at the
ambushers!  Madness.  But they were his comrades, and he could be mad, too, if that's
what was called for.  He turned his horse also, only half a stride behind the others,
although the hair stood straight up on the back of his neck at the thought of riding
into a storm of arrows.  The fact that he was now a Lord Protector and could be
resurrected was not at all comforting.
     The willows were close.  They must have been nearly within bow-range when they
started the charge, and they were surely within that range by now.  Where were the
arrows?  He hated waiting for unpleasant things to happen.
     There WERE arrows, a few.  Not the solid wall of them he expected, and they
missed.  They were aimed, he realized, at where he and his companions would have been
if they hadn't turned and charged.  Which made him feel a little better about it;
Redfox and Ghost Dancer and Barudai weren't madmen after all.  His hand went to his
bowcase, but he didn't draw it out.  No clear targets, and the willows might be thin,
but they'd deflect arrows well enough.
     His horse jumped over a fallen log, through a fringe of young willows, and
landed on a sandbank, lurched and slipped to regain its footing, and stumbled,
throwing him forward over its shoulder.  He rolled when he landed and came to his
feet, surprised to find his sword in his hand.  When had he drawn it?  How had he
managed not to cut himself when he fell?  No time to ponder those questions.
     A Rirorni, a skinny man with some gray in his hair and patches on his clothes,
came at him with a yell.  He was pathetic.  A two-year-old could have taken his sword
away from him.  It was an embarrassment to all Rirorni that this fellow was one of
them.  Shanks parried his first blow easily and twisted his own sword to disarm the
     The man hardly seemed to notice, just kept coming, kept yelling.  His eyes were
fixed straight ahead, so wide open that white showed all around the irises, and there
was foam on his lips.  He threw himself at Shanks Pony, who was four inches taller
and probably fifty pounds heavier and thirty years younger, grappling and biting.  He
was insane.
     Could it be rabies?  Sometimes Rirorni caught that, if they were hungry enough
to fight coyotes for carrion, and Shierah knew this one looked that hungry.  Shanks
got a hand on the man's throat to hold him at a safe distance, then hit him on the
head with the hilt of his sword.  It went against the grain to kill an old, unarmed
man, but if he was rabid...people never recovered from that.  They just died.
     Shanks tied the man's hands and feet with a thong (Rirorni always carried
thongs, they were small and light-weight, and you never knew when you might need
them) and looked around for his companions.
     He couldn't see them, couldn't hear anything but the wind in the willows.

             + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ A Darque Tale #12 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

     For the loft of a stable, Master Darque found the place almost...pleasant.
There was a wide floor, though the roof was low except along the centerline; that was
not a problem, since he was not so tall as most (purely mortal) beings were.  Well
ventilated, a trifle dusty, and not so odorous as he had expected.  Apparently these
people disposed of the by-products of their horses in a prompt and effective fashion.
He paused in his thoughts to consider that, very briefly.  Not something he needed to
know about at this time.
     "It isn't much, master," Aramdan said.  He sounded apologetic, but only that.
     Darque looked at him sharply.  There had been nothing sarcastic or feigned when
the man had called him "master," which was a little odd.  He had not established his
control that deeply as yet, after all, and many mortals had a truly ridiculous
attachment to "independence."  As though they were capable of doing their own
thinking, making their own plans!  But, he had found, there were some who wanted to
be subordinate, who recognized their unfitness to rule themselves.  It was a thing he
watched for, it made good minions for certain types of work.  He must have chosen
this man with a sure instinct.  Of course he had, he wanted an incurious, obedient
minion, didn't he?  He nodded briefly toward the man.  "It is enough for now.  But
your first task will be to find me a suitable place.  No, your second.  First, I
require information from you."  He gestured toward the pallet on the floor, knowing
that humans tired more quickly than he did.  "Sit."
     When the human had done so, Darque formed a chair for himself, a simpler matter
than it would appear to the uninitiated.  He swept a magical intention through the
piled straw at one end of the loft, and it seized the stuff and wove it into a chair
that was not quite a throne.  In fact, it looked like...golden wicker.  Well, it was,
really.  He had seen such chairs somewhere and thought how cleverly they appeared
ordinary when in fact they were nearly thrones.  A peacock chair, that's what it was
     Darque seated himself.  "Tell me of this city," he commanded.  Seeing his
minion's confusion, he rephrased the order.  "Tell me how it is laid out, and what
people live in what parts, and what kinds of things are done in each place."
     Aramdan nodded and began to talk and to sketch in the thin dust on the loft
floor.  The city was elvish in its plan, Darque had always found elves to be over-
fond of a circular street-plan.  In this place, the circles had more than one center,
three or four, at least, and they intersected to a confusing degree.  Why...?  Ah.
Each center was, or had been, the castle of some elven lordling, and his retainers
had built out from there until they encountered the retainers of some other lord.
They would mean political factions.  Excellent!  A factionalized society was much
easier to grip and overwhelm than a monolithic one.  Half the population was elvish,
most of the local aristocracy, and a large proportion of the professional class.
Aramdan betrayed some resentment there:  the elves kept to themselves and never hired
humans for jobs that really mattered.  And what, Darque wondered, was Aramdan capable
of doing that "really mattered"?  No doubt it would emerge in time.  The other half
of the society was made up equally of humans and goblins, with a smattering of
miscellaneous types such as demons "like yourself, master."
     "Goblins?  I am familiar with the term, but have found it varies considerably in
meaning.  What is a 'goblin' in Kochilfan?"
     "Dogs!"  Aramdan's scorn was the most emotion he'd shown so far.  "Mongrel dogs.
Half-breeds and worse.  Part orc, part elf, maybe dwarf or human, too.  They dig
ditches and the like."  He paused, struggling with prejudice, then added grudgingly,
"They have some good smiths."
     Interesting.  It would bear looking into, there might be any sort of talent in
such a miscellaneous lot.  But that was for later.  But for now, "The elves are
concentrated in the centers of each of the street-circles?  Around the old castles, I
take it."
     "Yes, and the goblins are all on the other side of the river, between the river
and the swamp."
     Darque nodded.  Where goblin-half-breeds lived did not concern him.  "I want a
place on the edge of one of the professional districts," he decided.  "A large house
with a walled yard, and a stable."  He wouldn't need that immediately, but this might
be his base for some time, and he WOULD have horsemen in his retinue soon enough.
"If there are other magicians in the area, that would probably be a good thing.  Can
you find me such a place?"
     "What price range?"
     "That is not an issue.  My resources are sufficient for whatever I choose to
do."  In fact, he had a significant store of gold and gems in a...call it a pocket
universe, which only he could reach.
     "Then it won't be a problem, master," Aramdan said.  "I can think of two houses
that might do already.  One is on the edge of Lord Urilinteth's territory, and the
other is closer to Lady Illayina's."
     "Two elvish aristocrats, I presume.  Tell me a little about them."
     Aramdan looked uncertain.  Not, Darque suspected, of his facts, but of how to
describe something that was an unconsidered piece of the background to his life.
Finally he said, "Lady Illayina is the king's sister, but they don't speak to each
other.  Some say she's mad and would kill him if she could.  Urilinteth has large
estates outside the city, and he married the sister of the Prince of Shavrad, so many
people don't trust him.  Uh, Shavrad, that's a city north of here, farther down the
river; it's supposed to be tributary to Mara Balor, but I think that's a shaky
alliance.  I campaigned with the army of Telomahar once in that area," he added by
way of explanation.  "There are, I don't know, at least a dozen other lords that are
important here, maybe as many as twenty--"
     Darque waved him to silence, he had an intuition as to which would be best.
"Let us look at the house near Urilinteth's demesne," he said.  "If it is at all
acceptable, that will be the one I want."

     Raigavor paced down one alley of the maze, turned, and paced another.  He had no
concern for getting lost, though it was a clever maze.  But he was a wizard, he did
not become lost in mazes.  And he had spent enough time in this one to know it well.
Too much time.  He was bored here.  It was time for him to go out and meet the Prince
of Shavrad, take his measure, and then decide on what his own place in this city was
to be.

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                         ---===DELARQUAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 542): MESSIAH of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 425): GOLDEN SHARK of THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 550): FLAGPOLE PANTIES of FRAT PARTY BLOWOUT (The Anarchist)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 546): LEGALASS of THE SHALLOWSHIP (?, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 545): SAMANTHA FOX of PARTY ANIMALS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 549): JUSTIN of THE LADY'S LIST (A-Sop, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 546): WOOD CHUCK of EAGER BEAVERS (The Dark One, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 541): QUO VADIS of QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 532): FEAR of OF WOLF AND MAN II (Tripwire, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 531): ASYLUM of BLACKEST PRIDE (Ultraist, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 505): SPEKTER of KARNIVORZ (Tripwire, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 495): PAWS of ARENA FELINES (Garfield, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 219): HOT AIR DUCK of DUCKS UNLIMITED (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 483): SU-CHI of WIND STORM (Lord Xiang, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 431): ZALGEI of DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 206): CHAOS WARRIOR of EYE OF THE STORM (Blackstorm, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 194): DUFF of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 380): JEFFRO of RIO VISTANS (Pauly, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 171): EAGLE KEYS of ANCIENT KNIGHTS (Brewmaster, mgr.)
                             Man, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 542): SWEORDMASTERS (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   2 NIANIA (turn 425): THE GOLDEN FISH (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   3 OSKSI (turn 550): GAMES LIBRARY (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   4 JHELUM (turn 546): THE SHALLOWSHIP (?, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 545): THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   6 TRANSEL (turn 549): WINGED LEGION (Seraphim, mgr.)
 DM   7 BONSUR (turn 546): WASTELAND II (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  10 KOLACT (turn 541): QUBIT (Sultan, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 532): SHEPHERDS (Assurnasirbanipal, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 531): GRIM FANDANGO (Stik, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 505): OLD SCHOOL TOONS (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 495): U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  39 XOCHITHLAN (turn 219): CRIMINAL ELEMENT (Fizban, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 483): none
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 431): AMAZON ELITE (Doc Miracle, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 206): MILLENIUM METAL (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 194): VINCERE AUT MORI (Dark Knight Toker, mgr.)
 DM  62 VALAMANTIS (turn 380): LEGION OF LEGEND (Seraphim, mgr.)
 DM  72 DRAGONHEAD (turn 171): MILCHAMAH (Hammer, mgr.)
ADM 104 DARKHOLM (turn 424): BLACK PRIMERS (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   1 MORDANT (turn 542): HELLACIOUS of MANNEQUIN'S BEST (Mannequin, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 545): INGOLD KERR of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM   5 KALTOS (turn 544): NORLE PARTH of THE MIDDLE WAY 5 (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  18 TALCAMA (turn 531): ODDLY SHAPED BOOB of CENTER FOR OLDS (Suave, mgr.)
 DM  21 SUNSET (turn 531): ASYLUM of BLACKEST PRIDE (Ultraist, mgr.)
 DM  36 JHANS (turn 504): OLIVE OYL of OLD SCHOOL TOONS (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  38 CLIFFHOME (turn 494): GROUCHO of U.A.K. (Otis the Drunk, mgr.)
 DM  42 RODEKI (turn 483): SU-CHI of WIND STORM (Lord Xiang, mgr.)
 DM  51 TRICORUS (turn 431): ZALGEI of DARK HORSEMEN (Nick, mgr.)
 DM  54 TROCAR (turn 206): VIKING RAIDER of SPARF! (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  59 ILLIS (turn 193): SOUL SCOURGE of VILE REAVERS (Bobby Bigfoot, mgr.)
                          WIMPIRA of ISLANDERS (Nick, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Oh, hi.  Its just little 'ol Debby Tonte.  Thought I'd check out XOCHITHLAN to 
see what's new.  What was the name of that team who got 4-1-1 this turn for a total 
4-3-1 you ask?  (Sure)  EVIL INC's their name, and fighting's their game!  MVP award 
for NAKOR?  DOG SOLDIERS II's proud of him after beating BELLE COR and getting 19 
points.  Talk about yer major upsets!  BELLE COR's match with NAKOR cost her a loss 
of 13 points!  What a putz!  HOT AIR DUCK fights so hard to be Duelmaster, then quits 
fighting and loses the title.  No one said he was a genius...  And I was just getting 
used to the ex-Duelmaster's habit of...(!)  Oh well, welcome SKULK.  Aren't CHEAP 
SHOTS proud.  (Oh, my.) I hear the top team insists all their warriors get nine hours 
sleep.  They want photogenic fighters for PR photos.   
     Look, you guys stick to fighting, all right?  DUCKS UNLIMITED was XOCHITHLAN's 
most avoided team.  Is there some award for that?  Is there some deep dark secret why 
CHEAP SHOTS' been avoiding DUCKS UNLIMITED so much?  Or is it just that they're too 
scared?  Like, is QUIA RAYNE popular, or what?  She was challenged the most in all of 
XOCHITHLAN!  She's got a 12-19-0, is that good?   
     Challenges, revenges, Bloodfeuds.  All XOCHITHLAN ever talks about is fighting!  
Me, I'm more laid back.  Fight, fight, fight.  Is that all you guys can do?   
     Remember, blood on a purple robe may stain.  Soak it in cold water, and hand 
wash.  I'm getting tired of writing this stuff, so I'm calling it quits.  Remember 
you guys, ease up sometimes!  Chill out!  Later, Debby Tonte  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SKULK 3603                   10   0  0   145       CHEAP SHOTS (426)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-HOT AIR DUCK 3451            17   8  0   111       DUCKS UNLIMITED (143)
-DUCK A L'ORANGE 3607         10   7  1   107       DUCKS UNLIMITED (143)
 MATT RISIDE 3705             13   3  0   101       CRIMINAL ELEMENT (379)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 MANN SLAUGHTER 3688          13   5  2    86       CRIMINAL ELEMENT (379)
 QUIA RAYNE 3636              12  19  0    86       THE MIDDLE WAY (385)
 KAHR, JACK 3637              16  13  1    80       CRIMINAL ELEMENT (379)
-CHUCKLE 3602                 12   2  0    79       CHEAP SHOTS (426)
 NAKOR 3757                    8   3  1    76       DOG SOLDIERS II (443)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SMIRK 3606                   10   3  0    70       CHEAP SHOTS (426)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 OPARA PERSI 3670             10  11  0    66       THE MIDDLE WAY (385)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-EYE RAISE 3604                8   0  0    56       CHEAP SHOTS (426)
-IGNORE 3605                   8   4  0    55       CHEAP SHOTS (426)
 BELLE COR 3720                9   3  1    52       THE MIDDLE WAY (385)
 PONY 3755                     6   4  0    51       DOG SOLDIERS II (443)
-PEKING DUCK 3632              9   2  0    49       DUCKS UNLIMITED (143)
 MS D. MEENER 3696            11   6  0    39       CRIMINAL ELEMENT (379)
 MORI NEB 3728                 6   2  0    39       THE MIDDLE WAY (385)
 TUNTUN 3754                   6   4  0    37       DOG SOLDIERS II (443)
-SCROOGE MCDUCK 3719           4   1  0    36       DUCKS UNLIMITED (143)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 WENDAL XOKI 3727              4   4  0    26       THE MIDDLE WAY (385)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-DUCK WITH SWORDS 3726         2   1  0    21       DUCKS UNLIMITED (143)
 MIDNIGHT NINJA 3734           1   0  0    15       EVIL INC (440)
 JADE MOON 3731                1   0  1    14       EVIL INC (440)
 BLOOD LOUTS 3732              1   0  0    13       EVIL INC (440)
 TALON 3748                    2   1  1     8       DOG SOLDIERS II (443)
 RAPTOR 3733                   1   0  0     6       EVIL INC (440)
 BONE CRUSHER 3735             0   3  0     3       EVIL INC (440)
 NIUN 3764                     0   1  0     1       DOG SOLDIERS II (443)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
RIRORNI LOOTER 1       0  1 0   1                   JADE MOON 3731        220 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

All -- I am trying to get Skulk, Smirk, and Eye Raise to fight in the arena, but they
say they are bored. -- Cheap Shot Upper Management

Whose kind of arena is it when a "Hot Air" Duck can be Duelmaster?  No wonder that my
warriors are bored. -- Cheap Shot Upper Management

We think it was downright discriminatory and clearly unfair that we were not #1 and
#2 on the "least popular" list.  What a farce!  Despicable! -- Ignore & Chuckle

Quia Raye -- You may discard Smirk's smirk, but you cannot ignore my loud chuckle.
Actually it is more of a guffaw.  I must admit that I enjoy great belly laugh's at
the expense of Bimbos. -- Chuckle

Belle Cor -- I must admit that I appreciated your ignorance of me, because beating
you was certainly "ho hum". -- Ignore

Pony -- I presume, now, that you learned that you are truly a dog of a soldier? --

Chuckle -- I wouldn't mind the incessant cackling so much if you'd SHARE the joke.
Damned selfish golem.... -- Quia Rayne

Mann Slaughter -- Is this where I say, "At least I'm not a man!"?  I didn't enjoy
that, but then, there's lots I don't enjoy. -- Opara Persi

Peking Duck -- What I hear is that you should be called "Peek And Duck"!  The
stewards here say you're always hanging around the woman's locker room. -- Belle Cor
P.S.  I'm not exactly complaining.  Look if you want, but don't touch.

Duck With Swords -- If you ask me, arming the ducks is a MISTAKE.  And you exemplify
it well. -- Mori Neb
P.S.  Oh, sure, I won this time, but what about next time, eh?

Scrooge McDuck -- Not even for Easter?  Aw, come on, you could give me a win.  Just a
little one.  You'd never miss it! -- Wendal Xoki
P.S.  Sorry, I don't have my "grovel and beg" routine worked out really well yet.
Practice, I need more practice....

Cheap Shots Management -- "Life is unfair"?  Yes, I think that defines it well. --
Middle Way Management

Eye Raise -- Snicker?  Ain't that a candy bar?  I love sweets. -- Tui Tui

Wendal Xoki -- Maybe you should take up knitting.  Just a suggestion. -- Nakor

Ignore -- That was a cheap shot. -- Pony

Bone Crusher -- You've got to be kidding, right?! -- Talon

24 March 2006
A few notes about e-mailed personals:

You may submit personal ads, columns, spotlights, etc. electronically, either via e-
mail to ads at reality dot com (which doesn't need any more spam, thank you) or on
the web at http://www.reality.com/duel2/modules.php?name=Ads.  When you submit
something, you should get back a receipt from HAL at RSI.  If you do NOT get a
receipt, your ads may have gone astray (not all e-mail makes it to its destination
any more than all snail mail does).  If you DO get a receipt, it should, in the body
of the message, tell you what arena your stuff was filed in.  Check your receipt to
make sure your submission made it to the intended destination.  Also check to see
that everything you sent made it to the same place.  Sometimes HAL, who is rather
simple-minded in some ways, will send half your stuff to another arena if the name
or number of that arena shows up at the beginning of a line.  So if the word Ti
appears at the beginning of a line halfway through your ads, all the ads after that
may end up in Ti, which is closed and doesn't need ads.  As a side note, sometimes
things move slowly, so don't wait until the last minute to send your ads and all.
If they get held up along the way, they may not show up until next turn.  Happy
writing! -- Ed.

28 March 2006
We of the Desolate Empire Alliance want to welcome two managers to our fold.  Kon of
the Empire Rising, and Osiris!  May they be blessed with the blood of their enemies,
and give no quarter in War! -- Dark Knights of the Desolate Empire

11 April 2006
To all those lookin' for some easy pickins:  I, Elfwine, manager of The Shallowship,
the most feared team in all of Jhelum, invite all who seek wide open spaces for pubs
and other such establishments of limited debauchery, to visit this deserted city and
help me clear up some of the dust.  I'm just about ready to have my guys face off
against each other to get some new action.  Guess I'd better join a tournament or
something...hmmmm, there's a thought.

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SMIRK was viciously subdued by QUIA RAYNE in a 1 minute master's Challenge fight.
NAKOR handily defeated BELLE COR in a 1 minute gruesome one-sided Challenge match.
MATT RISIDE devastated RIRORNI OFFICER in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
SKULK overpowered KAHR, JACK in a 1 minute mismatched Title match.
MANN SLAUGHTER bested ELITE ASSASSIN in a popular 1 minute duel.
OPARA PERSI devastated MS D. MEENER in a 1 minute mismatched match.
MORI NEB was overcome by PONY in a 2 minute fight.
TUNTUN viciously subdued RIRORNI JANISSARY in a 8 minute gruesome melee.
WENDAL XOKI vanquished TALON in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
BONE CRUSHER was viciously subdued by RIRORNI LOOTER in a 4 minute novice's duel.
MIDNIGHT NINJA overcame RIRORNI WOMAN in a 1 minute novice's bout.
RAPTOR subdued NIUN in a 2 minute amateur's match.
BLOOD LOUTS handily defeated RIRORNI LOOTER in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
JADE MOON murdered RIRORNI LOOTER in a 1 minute one-sided brawl.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|WALL OF STEEL                    5         SLASHING ATTACK    9 -   4 -  0      69  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   4         AIMED BLOW        12 -   6 -  1      67  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         BASHING ATTACK    22 -  13 -  0      63  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         STRIKING ATTACK    7 -   5 -  0      58  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         WALL OF STEEL     25 -  19 -  0      57  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      2         TOTAL PARRY       12 -  10 -  0      55  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   1         LUNGING ATTACK     6 -   8 -  0      43  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   5 -  1      29  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         PARRY-RIPOSTE      3 -   8 -  0      27  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     0         PARRY-STRIKE       1 -   3 -  0      25  |

Turn 220 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

AIMED BLOW         3 -  0     WALL OF STEEL      2 -  3         3  BASHING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     1 -  0     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  1         2  WALL OF STEEL  
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  0     PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  0         2  TOTAL PARRY    
STRIKING ATTACK    1 -  0                                       1  AIMED BLOW     
PARRY-RIPOSTE      1 -  1                                       1  LUNGING ATTACK 
BASHING ATTACK     2 -  2                                       1  SLASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        1 -  1                                       1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
BASHING ATTACK   SKULK 3603                 10   0  0  145 CHEAP SHOTS (426)
AIMED BLOW       MATT RISIDE 3705           13   3  0  101 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (379)
WALL OF STEEL    MANN SLAUGHTER 3688        13   5  2   86 CRIMINAL ELEMENT (379)
SLASHING ATTACK  NAKOR 3757                  8   3  1   76 DOG SOLDIERS II (443)
TOTAL PARRY      SMIRK 3606                 10   3  0   70 CHEAP SHOTS (426)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is QUIA RAYNE 3636.  The most popular warrior this turn 
was QUIA RAYNE 3636.  The ten other most popular fighters were PONY 3755, RAPTOR 
3733, NIUN 3764, NAKOR 3757, SKULK 3603, MANN SLAUGHTER 3688, MORI NEB 3728, MATT 
RISIDE 3705, OPARA PERSI 3670, and WENDAL XOKI 3727.

The least popular fighter this week was BONE CRUSHER 3735.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were TALON 3748, TUNTUN 3754, MS D. MEENER 3696, KAHR, JACK 3637, 
and WENDAL XOKI 3727.