DUEL 2 NEWSLETTER
Date : 05/14/2021 Duedate: 06/10/2021
XOCHITHLAN ARENA
DM-39 TURN-415
This Weeks Top Honors
THE DUELMASTER IS
SICKNESS
BASH BROS BABY (461)
(39-4242) [25-12-0,128]
Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader
SICKNESS POSITION IS EMPTY
BASH BROS BABY (461)
(39-4242) [25-12-0,128]
Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite
APPLE BLOSSOM DUCK OF DOOM
THE MIDDLE WAY (385) DUCKS UNLIMITED (143)
(39-4109) [15-16-0,88] (39-4223) [14-6-1,101]
THE CURRENT TOP TEAM
THE MIDDLE WAY (385)
TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. BASH BROS BABY (461) 50
2. DUCKS UNLIMITED (143) 36 BIONIC MAN (490)
3. BOOK OF THOMAS (479) 35 Unchartered Team
4. BIONIC MAN (490) 30
5. THE MIDDLE WAY (385) 21 ALL ABOUT CALI (491)
The Top Teams
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1/ 1 BIONIC MAN (490) 32 8 2 80.0 1/ 2 THE MIDDLE WAY (385) 9 6 0
2/ 2 DUCKS UNLIMITED (143) 302 203 18 59.8 2/ 3 BASH BROS BABY (461) 7 7 1
3/ 3 BASH BROS BABY (461) 198 154 9 56.3 3/ 1 BIONIC MAN (490) 5 3 0
4/ 0 BOOK OF THOMAS (479) 128 109 11 54.0 4/ 0 BOOK OF THOMAS (479) 3 2 0
5/ 4 THE MIDDLE WAY (385) 530 597 14 47.0 5/ 4 DUCKS UNLIMITED (143) 3 5 0
6/ 0*ALL ABOUT CALI (491) 0 2 0 0.0 6/ 0*ALL ABOUT CALI (491) 0 2 0
'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank
DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
Notes from the arena champ.
The duck was overcooked again! And in two more turns we should be back to having
chicken and beef and fish!!! As far as I go, I'm going to be here for awhile. While
I am learning defense, I need probably 9 more of them to get an expert rating. That
will likely not happen before I get 14 more fights. 4 wit doesn't help with learning
fast!
-- Sickness
SPY REPORT
Thankyouthankyou. It's great for me, The Unknown Spymaster to be back in
XOCHITHLAN. Hope you enjoy the show. Oh, who am I kidding? I already got paid!
Say good-bye to BIONIC MAN, as they are pushed from the coveted top team spot by the
THE MIDDLE WAY stable. Hey everybody, watch out for DUCK DUCK GOOSE, who flew up 24
points in the rankings after mashing LIFE CHANGES like a melon. Keep your eye on
this beast. Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the sands. YENTAL
ZEEVE was overcame by DUCK TALES and drops 5 points. What does the Duelmaster and
Piltdown Man have in common? They are both the most challenged apes in human
history! Heyheyhey! DUCK OF DOOM got through to the Duelmaster this turn. No doubt
it was more than anxious to kick SICKNESS' tail out of the throne! Our battling
duelmaster SICKNESS has managed to hold the title, fending off DUCK OF DOOM's none
too subtle advances. Better luck next time, DUCKS UNLIMITED. 4 out of 5 gladiators
surveyed protect the body, so try and avoid aiming at that location.
Let's dig a little deeper into what's happening in the XOCHITHLAN arena. Here's
a song for you: Who's afraid of the big, bad BIONIC MAN? Big bad BIONIC MAN. Big
bad BIONIC MAN. XOCHITHLAN's afraid of the big bad BIONIC MAN. Tra la la la la!
For those of you who like math, try this one: BIONIC MAN + Weapons That go Boom =
BASH BROS BABY + Avoid City.
Death is kind of like a new puppy: he's always around wanting to play. (Ha
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?). 3000 MILES AWAY defied all odds and slew
DARK ELF CHAMPION in the Dark Arena. The only ones displeased were the buzzards, as
DARK ELF CHAMPION's meat is notoriously tough. Ask not the elves for counsel, for
they will say both yes and no. Silly buggers, eh?
Well, that wasn't too bad; Alarond told me that the people in XOCHITHLAN have no
sense of humor. Or maybe that they were senseless. Well, there goes another Spy
Report. Good luck in next week's fights. See ya next time I'm on this circuit!--
The Unknown Spymaster
DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
SICKNESS 4242 25 12 0 128 BASH BROS BABY (461)
CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-RIGHT HIP (3) 4289 8 1 1 105 BIONIC MAN (490)
MITRAL VALVE 4287 11 1 0 103 BIONIC MAN (490)
DUCK OF DOOM 4223 14 6 1 101 DUCKS UNLIMITED (143)
-DUCK DYNASTY 4168 11 4 0 91 DUCKS UNLIMITED (143)
CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
APPLE BLOSSOM 4109 15 16 0 88 THE MIDDLE WAY (385)
DROOL BABY 4243 15 22 0 71 BASH BROS BABY (461)
CELIA DUNCAN 4299 7 1 0 70 THE MIDDLE WAY (385)
ZEB ARN 4257 13 17 0 67 THE MIDDLE WAY (385)
CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
LASIC SURGERY 4290 5 3 0 63 BIONIC MAN (490)
ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
LIFE CHANGES 4273 13 12 1 52 BASH BROS BABY (461)
-IMPLANTS 4288 4 1 0 51 BIONIC MAN (490)
DUCK DUCK GOOSE 4244 6 1 0 50 DUCKS UNLIMITED (143)
HEARING AID 4291 4 2 1 49 BIONIC MAN (490)
DONALD DUCK 4225 9 9 1 47 DUCKS UNLIMITED (143)
EXPENSES 4294 6 4 0 47 BASH BROS BABY (461)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
ZOE ALBETA 4296 6 8 0 46 THE MIDDLE WAY (385)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
FORTIFIED 4274 4 1 0 33 BOOK OF THOMAS (479)
3000 MILES AWAY 4308 1 0 1 33 BASH BROS BABY (461)
DUCK TALES 4297 5 6 1 30 DUCKS UNLIMITED (143)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
ASCENSION 4293 2 0 1 22 BOOK OF THOMAS (479)
YENTAL ZEEVE 4298 4 8 0 20 THE MIDDLE WAY (385)
ZENAKU 4280 2 0 0 17 BOOK OF THOMAS (479)
SACRILEGE 4278 1 1 0 11 BOOK OF THOMAS (479)
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
L.A. 4303 0 1 0 ALL ABOUT CALI 491 BLACK ORC BRIGAN 415 NONE
THE BAY 4301 0 1 0 ALL ABOUT CALI 491 DARK ELF CHAMPIO 415 NONE
HEDIES 4306 0 1 0 BOOK OF THOMAS 479 SHAGORNAN HERMIT 415 NONE
DARK ELF CHAMPIO 0 0 0 DARK ARENA 3000 MILES AWAY 4308 415 NONE
PERSONAL ADS
This arena is sick, sick, sick! Just look at The Duelmaster. Sheesh! -- Smitty, Bionic
Man
Sex change, Jorja? At this age, even that wouldn't help. --Smitty
Drool Baby, sorry to have to put you down, but I have to take good care of my pig
flapper, you know. -- Mitral Valve
Apple Blossom, well, heck! You smelt better than you fought. -- Right Hip (3)
Plannin' on Cincy. Plannin' on Cincy. I wonder what bionics I can add before then? --
Smitty
Life Changes -- Of course life changes when a baby comes into it. How could it be
otherwise? -- Celia Duncan
Expenses -- Wait till the baby is ready for college. -- Zeb Arn
Right Hip (3) -- Does that mean you're a hippie? -- Apple Blossom
Donald Duck -- My sincere thanks for the skills. I'll have to make sure my teammates
do snag them and run off with 'em. -- Zoe Albeta
I know a dangerous criminal when I meet one on the sands, even if he's going by a nom
de guerre. No win for me, and no skill. I feel like his horse kicked me in the head.
-- Yental Zeeve
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
3000 MILES AWAY viciously butchered DARK ELF CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
HEDIES was slaughtered by SHAGORNAN HERMIT in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
THE BAY was easily killed by DARK ELF CHAMPION in a 1 minute Dark Arena match.
L.A. was assassinated by BLACK ORC BRIGAND in a 1 minute Dark Arena duel.
DUCK OF DOOM was outwaited by SICKNESS in a 11 minute Challenge Title contest.
LASIC SURGERY was unbelievably bested by CELIA DUNCAN in a 2 minute Challenge brawl.
DUCK TALES bested YENTAL ZEEVE in a crowd pleasing 1 minute bloody Challenge match.
MITRAL VALVE overpowered ENEMY ARCHER in a 1 minute uneven melee.
DROOL BABY was viciously subdued by APPLE BLOSSOM in a popular 2 minute expert's duel.
ZEB ARN vanquished RIRORNI HORSEMAN in a exciting 1 minute gruesome one-sided fight.
EXPENSES outlasted DONALD DUCK in a tiresome 17 minute fight.
ZOE ALBETA savagely defeated FORTIFIED in a 2 minute bloody competition.
LIFE CHANGES was devastated by DUCK DUCK GOOSE in a 1 minute one-sided battle.
HEARING AID devastated RIRORNI HORSEMAN in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
ASCENSION overcame RIRORNI WOMAN in a 1 minute beginner's fight.
ZENAKU overpowered RIRORNI LOOTER in a 1 minute uneven struggle.
SACRILEGE overcame LONG-RANGE ARCHERS in a 5 minute amateur's bout.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK 4 PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 - 1 - 0 75 |
|PARRY-STRIKE 3 AIMED BLOW 20 - 8 - 0 71 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 3 STRIKING ATTACK 19 - 11 - 0 63 |
|WALL OF STEEL 3 LUNGING ATTACK 11 - 7 - 2 61 |
|AIMED BLOW 2 PARRY-STRIKE 17 - 16 - 1 52 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 TOTAL PARRY 6 - 6 - 0 50 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 2 PARRY-LUNGE 2 - 2 - 0 50 |
|BASHING ATTACK 2 WALL OF STEEL 17 - 18 - 0 49 |
|TOTAL PARRY 2 BASHING ATTACK 4 - 9 - 0 31 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 1 SLASHING ATTACK 2 - 7 - 0 22 |
Turn 415 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
AIMED BLOW 2 - 0 PARRY-STRIKE 1 - 2 3 STRIKING ATTACK
PARRY-RIPOSTE 2 - 0 STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 2 2 TOTAL PARRY
LUNGING ATTACK 4 - 0 WALL OF STEEL 1 - 2 2 AIMED BLOW
SLASHING ATTACK 1 - 1 PARRY-LUNGE 0 - 1 1 PARRY-STRIKE
BASHING ATTACK 1 - 1 1 BASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 1 - 1 1 LUNGING ATTACK
1 WALL OF STEEL
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
TOTAL PARRY SICKNESS 4242 25 12 0 128 BASH BROS BABY (461)
AIMED BLOW MITRAL VALVE 4287 11 1 0 103 BIONIC MAN (490)
PARRY-STRIKE DUCK OF DOOM 4223 14 6 1 101 DUCKS UNLIMITED (143)
STRIKING ATTACK LASIC SURGERY 4290 5 3 0 63 BIONIC MAN (490)
WALL OF STEEL LIFE CHANGES 4273 13 12 1 52 BASH BROS BABY (461)
LUNGING ATTACK DUCK DUCK GOOSE 4244 6 1 0 50 DUCKS UNLIMITED (143)
BASHING ATTACK HEARING AID 4291 4 2 1 49 BIONIC MAN (490)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.
The overall popularity leader is APPLE BLOSSOM 4109. The most popular warrior this
turn was DUCK OF DOOM 4223. The ten other most popular fighters were LASIC SURGERY
4290, APPLE BLOSSOM 4109, DUCK TALES 4297, ZEB ARN 4257, ZOE ALBETA 4296, 3000 MILES
AWAY 4308, MITRAL VALVE 4287, CELIA DUNCAN 4299, DROOL BABY 4243, and DUCK DUCK GOOSE
4244.
The least popular fighter this week was DONALD DUCK 4225. The other ten least
popular fighters were EXPENSES 4294, SICKNESS 4242, LIFE CHANGES 4273, L.A. 4303,
HEDIES 4306, FORTIFIED 4274, YENTAL ZEEVE 4298, THE BAY 4301, SACRILEGE 4278, and
ZENAKU 4280.
* * * * * MEMO * * * * *
From: The Office of Accurate Census Reporting, Gladiatorial Commission
To: All Managers
In the interest of preserving our natural resources and preventing managerial writer's
cramp, the census form has been eliminated, effective immediately. Managers may
register their warriors' races and/or favorite sayings by simply writing them on a
separate piece of paper and submitting them to the Commission. Each warrior may have
up to 15 favorite sayings. Each saying must be categorized Jeer, Gloat, Boredom, Ouch,
Victory and may be up to 70 characters long. For any questions, please contact the
Gladiatorial Commission.