Date   : 07/11/2003    Duedate: 07/24/2003


DM-40    TURN-418

This Weeks Top Honors


(40-3918) [12-0-0,137]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

KLUMSY TUMBLES                 SPIKE
CARNIVAL (379)                 NEUROMANCERS (404)
(40-3918) [12-0-0,137]         (40-3963) [1-0-1,33]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

TERIS                          QUEENSRYCHE
BEYOND THE PALE (337)          THAT 80'S METAL (394)
(40-3895) [14-16-1,59]         (40-3942) [6-3-0,56]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. NEUROMANCERS (404)          51
2. WIMPS MOST FOWL (355)       26      OF WOLF AND MAN 8 (347)
3. THAT 80'S METAL (394)       20      Unchartered Team
4. SUNNYLAND (382)             20
5. CRUEL PET NAMES (381)       19      NEUROMANCERS (404)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 1 OF WOLF AND MAN 8 (347)   11   5  0 68.8   1/ 2 CARNIVAL (379)           10  5 0
 2/ 2 CARNIVAL (379)            70  48  2 59.3   2/ 1 BEYOND THE PALE (337)     9  6 0
 3/ 3 WIMPS MOST FOWL (355)    317 244 16 56.5   3/ 3 WIMPS MOST FOWL (355)     9  6 0
 4/ 4 THAT 80'S METAL (394)     57  46  1 55.3   4/ 5 THAT 80'S METAL (394)     5  4 0
 5/ 5 CRUEL PET NAMES (381)     47  47  2 50.0   5/ 8*NEUROMANCERS (404)        4  6 2
 6/ 6 RELIGIOUS HERALD (306)    25  28  3 47.2   6/ 7 CRUEL PET NAMES (381)     3  2 0
 7/ 8 SUNNYLAND (382)           20  27  1 42.6   7/ 4 RELIGIOUS HERALD (306)    3  3 1
 8/ 7 BEYOND THE PALE (337)    280 413  7 40.4   8/ 6 SUNNYLAND (382)           3  3 0
 9/ 9*NEUROMANCERS (404)         4   6  2 40.0   9/ 9 OF WOLF AND MAN 8 (347)   1  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #10 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Zuwayza or Somewhere Else:

     "Ah, you are awake then?"
     The voice seemed unreasonably cheerful, given the way Tankesh's head was
pounding.  It was speaking Akhaddic...of a sort.  Understandable, since it was
speaking slowly, or maybe the odd accent was becoming more familiar.  He opened his
eyes cautiously.  He was in a dimly lit room, on a sort of divan or daybed such as
the Karnhorns used.  The walls were pale above, and something simple and dark below,
painted plaster, maybe.  Plainer than the walls in any upper class Karnhorn house
he'd seen.  A two-branched candlestick of bronze provided the light.  The man sitting
beside him and holding the candlestick had the expected dark, hawk-nosed face,
typical Karnhorn.  But he was wearing an unfamiliar sort of headgear, a cap like an
inverted flowerpot, of black patterned with gold, and he had a swathe of green cloth
twisted around the base of it.
     "In the house of Taran in'Dalbi, a merchant, and fortunate for you that you
occurred here, and not in the hands of some worshipper of bloody Jakarran.  We see
few Elves here in Wazara, and most view them with deep suspicion.  Taran is a more
cosmopolitan man, however, why, he has even been to Ys!  He knows well that an Elf is
just a man, and not some dark spirit come to work harm."  The man's mouth twitched
between mustache and pointed beard.  "Very fortunate you are.  For if you had been
received next door, in the house of Zaldin in'Varash, you might be stretched on an
altar by now!"
     Tankesh frowned and tried to heave himself up on one elbow.  The room shimmied
around him alarmingly, but he could see his sword lying on a side table, which told
him that he wasn't a prisoner here.  Wherever "here" was.  "Where?" he demanded
     "Ah, of course.  I was forgetting for a moment that you are a...Visitor.
Wazara, as I said, capital of Valkoril.  This is one of the most famous ports on the
Middle Sea, the last port on the Southern Shore before one comes to the Pillars of
the Sun."
     "From another time, or another world."  The man waved one hand negligently.  "I
am no philosopher to probe into such details, but a mere physician.  But you are not
the first Visitor to come to Valkoril of late, nor even the first to visit Golden
Wazara, so once he had recovered from the shock of your arrival, Taran understood
what was happening."
     "More'n I do," Tankesh muttered.
     "This is your first experience at Traveling?  Then it is no wonder you are
confused, especially if you have known no other Travelers."  The physician tapped his
knee thoughtfully with the fingers of one hand, then nodded.  "Very well, then, let
me see if I can explain--so far as my understanding goes.  The worlds that sprang
forth from the First Cause are as numerous as the grains of sand in Southern Waste,
as like and as different from each other as such grains may be.  When the wind swirls
over the Waste, grains of sand may strike one another, move from one place to lie in
different company, whatever metaphor you wish."  His fingers flicked in a dismissing
gesture.  "At such times of contact, Travel becomes possible, by will or by chance--
in your case, I assume that it must have been chance."  He raised an eyebrow
     Tankesh started to nod and thought better of it.  "Yes.  The woman with me, what
happened to her?"
     The man shrugged.  "When you fell, you lost your grip on her hand.  At once, the
road that you had Traveled together split.  I do not know whether she would return to
the world where your journey began, or go on to some other on her own."
     Someone tapped on the door to the room.
     The doctor rose at once and crossed to it, opening it a hands' breadth.  "What
news, Taran?"
     "The worst, Russem!  We must get rid of the fellow at once!"  The man in the
hallway had a gasping voice, or in the grip of strong emotion.  "Zaldin's pet
astrologer has worked out that there was an Occurrence, and he knows I must be
harboring a Visitor!"
     "Say rather, he suspects it, Taran.  But you are correct, the Visitor cannot
remain here any longer, unless he wishes to decorate an altar to Jakarran."  The
doctor glanced over his shoulder at Tankesh.  "We have neither the knowledge nor the
power to return you to your original world, but we shall send you to one who may
help.  But you must go at once, without delay--"
     A deep drumming sound echoed through the house.
     "That will be the Sultan's men--or the Temple Guards, even!--at the door," the
merchant muttered.  "I dare not refuse them entry."

           + ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Andorians Abroad #11 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +

Sailing to Skaithvarn:

     The wind dropped at the end of the first day and didn't pick up the next morning
as expected.  The ship just sat still in the water--as far as Raoul and Jeri could
tell--with its sails flapping limply.
     "In a logical world," Jeri muttered, "if the wind stopped blowing AGAINST us,
we'd be able to make progress."
     Raoul grinned.  "Not much logic here, doll!"  He glanced toward Goff and
sobered.  "I just wish he'd stop looking so worried...."
     Berdan, the ex-assassin, who had vanished into his cabin as the wind dropped,
now reappeared.  He had some sort of small brass box in his hand.  "We're in
trouble," he announced quietly.
     Before the Fratsfan could elaborate on that, Goff came toward them from the
steering area, and he looked more worried than Berdan.  "We're in trouble," he said.
"We're lost--"
     "How can we be lost?" Jeri demanded, her voice rising.  She looked around
anxiously.  The water looked much the same in every direction.  The sky had the kind
of thin, milky overcast that turned it to a sheet of glaring white, with no one
direction obviously brighter than another.  "The Trier's not that wide, can't we just
sail west until we come to Skaithvarn, and then figure out whether we're north or
south of Istoreth?"
     "Tell me which way's west, and I'll do it--even if I have to row," Goff said.
     "Ah."  Berdan nodded and held out his brass box, which they could now see was a
compass.  Or had been a compass.  The needle under the glass dome swung lazily around
and around, though the ship was not moving.  "I presume your ship's compass is now as
useless as this?"
     "Yeah," Goff admitted.  "It--"
     There was a sort of ripple in the air, not something to be seen, but only felt
as a shiver across their skin.  The compass needle whirled and steadied, indicating
north as being to the right of the ship.  A breeze from the north ruffled the surface
of the water.  Goff's two crew members leaped to adjust the sails.
     "Can you explain any of this?" Raoul asked.
     "No, but it's happened before," Goff said grimly.  "There've been reports of
this kind of thing--becalmed and the compass doesn't work, then eventually the wind
and the north come back.  And some ships have been lost entirely, like maybe they
never did get their bearings back--"
     "And KNOWING this, you still set out to sail to Skaithvarn?  Are you CRAZY?"
Jeri demanded.
     "What should we do, cower in our houses and wait for the Grey Witch to make
everything safe again?" the manager demanded.  "One ship in twenty, maybe, has
reported losing the north for a while.  Only one in...a hundred, or maybe more has
failed to come back.  It's a gamble, but heck, LIFE is a gamble."
     One of the crewmen had climbed to the very top of the mast and was examining the
horizons with a spyglass.  "Land ahead!" he reported.  "Looks like the Volarbyn
     At Raoul's questioning glance, Goff said, "Highlands just north of Istoreth."
     "Ship coming from the north," the lookout added.  "I don't recognize her
shape...."  He continued to stare northward through the spyglass.
     "And that's the flip side of the problem," Goff said as he headed for the
steering area.  "Somebody getting lost from the Other Side, wherever that is.
Sometimes they act like pirates.  We may have a fight on our hands."

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 232): DOMINO of BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 465): TIGER JIM of THE DOGHOUSE (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 458): SARGENT SUGAR of SWEET MARINES (General Snookums, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 455): VIKING of SAVAGES (Tarzan, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 455): GLORY of DARKENED PRIDE (Sylvester Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 455): R'AKA of THE DREADLANDS (LHI, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 451): VALLISNERIA of THE GREENHOUSE (Generalissimo Puerco, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 417): KLUMSY TUMBLES of CARNIVAL (Carny, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 411): GWYN AP NUDD of CAER SIDHE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 403): VEERS of HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 180): MERADI of KING AND COUNTRY (Generalissimo Puerco, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 314): CROW of SHADOW SIGNS (Shadowgate, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 305): WANDERING JO of WAYFARERS (Schendirk, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 134): KING TEC of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 232): BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 466): KNIGHTS OF VIRTUE (JRK, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 465): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 458): KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellubmo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 455): THE ASININE (Philthy Phil, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 455): CHAUCERS WORDS (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 455): HEADBANGERS (Sablon-O-Vlad, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 451): CARNIVAL (Carny, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 417): BEYOND THE PALE (Graciela, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 411): BIRDS (JE, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 403): DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 180): OTTO'S PARTS (Crip, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 314): SHADOW SIGNS (Shadowgate, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 305): WAYFARERS (Schendirk, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 134): none
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 351): BOXES, etc. (Doc Steele, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 232): DOMINO of BONDAGE (Spawn, mgr.)
                           BETHUNES of LA PENTARCHIE (The Pentalque, mgr.)
               (turn 231): WEIRD WILLIAM of LA PENTARCHIE (The Pentalque, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 465): THE ARDIVENTI CHEF of GERFEL'S FRIENDS (Generalissimo
                               Puerco, mgr.)
                               HITCHING POST of KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
                               PIOTR WYSMYK of 'CROSSED UP (Dr. Mabuse, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 465): TIGER JIM of THE DOGHOUSE (Leeta, mgr.)
              (turn 464): BEAVIS of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 458): DEAF SMITH of THE ZOO (Morris, mgr.)
               (turn 457): MAJOR MUFFINS of SWEET MARINES (General Snookums, mgr.)
                           SANDY of WOMEN OF REALITY (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 455): VIKING of SAVAGES (Tarzan, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 454): DEADMAN of HEADBANGERS (Sablon-O-Vlad, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 451): FUNKY ELVIS of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 411): GWYN AP NUDD of CAER SIDHE (Ichabod Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 314): BAKY PARFUM of OGRES ARE US (Ghoti, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 304): MIDNIGHT RAMBLER of WAYFARERS (Schendirk, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 134): CENTURION of 2ND ARCTIC GUARDS (Yukon Cornelius, mgr.)
                             BARRETT of DARQUE FORCES IV (Master Darque, mgr.)
                 (turn 133): BEER of STUFF I BROUGHT (Yukon Cornelius, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

M.H. -- This is your Morning Herald reporter reporting the afternoon news.  The big
news is that One-Man-Band is the top warrior TP.  Also Klumsy Tumbles has taken the
DM title.  Snide Clemens' heart is broken over Big Bop's loss.  I have the new DM
right here.  Congrats go to you, Klumsy.

K.T. -- Thanks.  Bird Brain was a problem--comes out swinging.  No doubt about that.

M.H.  Do you plan to give Bird a rematch or perhaps Despicable?

K.T. -- No way!  Are you crazy?  They are dangerous.  I'm thinking maybe One-Man-Band
would be a great DM.  Thanks.  Gotta go.

M.H. -- There you have it.  Big news!  One-Man-Band will have the title shot, until
next time.

                                      SPY REPORT

     It's me, The Unknown Spymaster, back to give you this week's Spy Report.  Sit 
back in your seats and we'll have more fun than a barrel of Zontanis.  Say good-bye 
to BEYOND THE PALE, as they are pushed from the coveted top team spot by the CARNIVAL 
stable.  Coming up with a solid 3-2-2 outing, NEUROMANCERS has advanced 3 places in 
the rankings.  Advancing in the rankings was WIMPS MOST FOWL who went from last 
turn's 313-243-16, to this week's record of 317-244-16.  Hey everybody, watch out for 
DRAXLER, who flew up 17 points in the rankings after mashing BIG BOP like a melon.  
Keep your eye on this guy.  Ya know, some days it doesn't pay to walk out on the 
sands.  BIG BOP was beat by DRAXLER and drops 12 points.  The most challenged warrior 
this week was KLUMSY TUMBLES.  If this keeps up, our Duelmaster's going to need more 
avoids!  Drawing on all of his experience as a 13-4-0 warrior, BIRDBRAIN went for the 
Duelmastership against KLUMSY TUMBLES this week.  Well, everybody's pal KLUMSY 
TUMBLES moved hers record to 12-0-0 by defeating BIRDBRAIN in the Duelmaster's Title 
Bout and gaining 13 recognition points.  An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an 
onion a day keeps T.P.s at bay.   
     Here is other news that is of note.  Here's a song for you:  Who's afraid of the 
big, bad CARNIVAL?  Big bad CARNIVAL.  Big bad CARNIVAL.  ZENSU's afraid of the big 
bad CARNIVAL.  Tra la la la la!  Okay, so I may not be funny, but catch WIMPS MOST 
FOWL's act in the arena.  Those acrobats seem to be fairly deft at running from 
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  SPIKE defied all odds and slew SHEWISH 
GIANT in the Dark Arena.  The only ones displeased were the buzzards, as SHEWISH 
GIANT's meat is notoriously tough.  Ask not the elves for counsel, for they will say 
both yes and no.  Silly buggers, eh?   
     Well, there's the manager of the ZENSU giving me the 'cut' sign (or is that 
'They're going to strangle you in the alley?).  Well, there goes another Spy Report.  
Good luck in next week's fights.  Hasta la bye-bye.  (Loud choruses of 'Beat it, ya 
bum!')-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KLUMSY TUMBLES 3918          12   0  0   137       CARNIVAL (379)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 FOIL D'AGEN 3909              9   7  0   102       CARNIVAL (379)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 DESPICABLE DUCK 3915         14   7  0   100       WIMPS MOST FOWL (355)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 KING LOVE 3748               10  10  1    89       SUNNYLAND (382)
 BIRDBRAIN 3921               13   5  0    88       WIMPS MOST FOWL (355)
-PHILLIP THE BIRD 3708        10   7  0    80       CRUEL PET NAMES (381)
 JOPHAN 3846                  15  31  0    79       BEYOND THE PALE (337)
 ONE-MAN BAND 3841            16  11  0    73       CARNIVAL (379)
 SIANNA 3914                  15   8  0    67       BEYOND THE PALE (337)
 DEAD DUCK 3911               14   8  2    67       WIMPS MOST FOWL (355)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 ENOCH 2814                    8   9  1    66       RELIGIOUS HERALD (306)
-SQUISH THE GERBIL 3778        9   5  0    63       CRUEL PET NAMES (381)
 TERIS 3895                   14  16  1    59       BEYOND THE PALE (337)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 QUEENSRYCHE 3942              6   3  0    56       THAT 80'S METAL (394)
 JIMMY CRICKET 3744            8   9  0    50       SUNNYLAND (382)
 DRAXLER 3294                  7   3  0    43       OF WOLF AND MAN 8 (347)
 OUATE LE PHOQUE 3902          6   4  0    40       CRUEL PET NAMES (381)
 HUMP THE CAMEL 3903           4   5  0    39       CRUEL PET NAMES (381)
 WARRANT 3920                  7  13  0    38       THAT 80'S METAL (394)
 QUAKY ASP 3919                7   5  0    38       CARNIVAL (379)
 SPIRITED 3766                 5   3  1    36       RELIGIOUS HERALD (306)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SPIKE 3963                    1   0  1    33       NEUROMANCERS (404)
 TIGER ELF 3941                2   8  0    26       BEYOND THE PALE (337)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 BIG BOP 3935                  6   4  0    22       CARNIVAL (379)
 ARNIE EL SHEW 3930            3  11  0    20       BEYOND THE PALE (337)
 MUD DUCK 3955                 2   0  0    20       WIMPS MOST FOWL (355)
 DANZIG 3954                   2   0  0    17       THAT 80'S METAL (394)
-OTRAR 3292                    4   2  0    14       OF WOLF AND MAN 8 (347)
-LEADFOOT 3516                 2   0  0    14       TACO GODS (152)
 CASE 3958                     1   1  1    14       NEUROMANCERS (404)
 ONO-SENDEI 3962               1   0  0    13       NEUROMANCERS (404)
-B 3746                        2   6  0    12       SUNNYLAND (382)
 CRAZY LOON 3961               1   0  0     7       WIMPS MOST FOWL (355)
-IRON MAIDEN 3872              1   3  0     6       THAT 80'S METAL (394)
 RATZ 3960                     1   1  0     4       NEUROMANCERS (404)
 NINSEI 3959                   0   2  0     2       NEUROMANCERS (404)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
MORDANT DESERTER 2     0  1 0   1                   CASE 3958             418 NONE    
SHEWISH GIANT 21       0  1 0 DARK ARENA 0          SPIKE 3963            418 NONE    
FLUSTER 3933           4  6 1 WIMPS MOST FOWL 355   ENOCH 2814            416 REVENGED

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Spirited -- Spirit isn't enough, you know.  Experience counts for a lot. -- Teris

Squish the Gerbil -- That's what I TOLD them to do in the Infirmary, but they never
listen. -- Jophan

Ouate le Phoque -- And in fact, you HAVE made a career error.  You should be a stand-
up comedian. -- Sianna
P.S.  Hey, *I* laughed.

Hump the Camel -- No thanks.  I'll wait for something more in my line. -- Arnie el
P.S.  And female.
P.P.S.  Or do you mean to indicate that's what YOU do?  Yuck.

Cult members are no match for me. -- Tiger Elf

Despicable Duck -- I've been taking classes in adult education. -- Jophan

One Man Sonic Pollution -- I hate music.  ALL music. -- Sianna

King Love -- The King I love to beat. -- Despicable Duck

Klumsy Tumbles -- I should have been able to hit you but you were just much too
tricky for me as you tumbled around. -- Birdbrain

Enoch -- As you now know, it is not nice to kill Wimps. -- Dead Duck

Case -- I won my first fight!  I won my first fight! Thank you, sir. -- Mud Duck

Birdbrain -- You are very difficult to deal with. -- Klumsy

Chardinee -- Did you have them cheer my music? -- One-Man

Queensryche -- This is how it works--I swing.  Next you swing.  Now, shall we try
again? -- Big Bop

Draxler -- Welcome back!  Well met!  The first round goes to me. -- Quaky Asp

Beyond The Pale -- Congrats on taking the top team spot. -- Carny

Neuromaneeds -- Welcome and prosper.  Do you have a favored set of songs?  I can play
anything.  I'm the top warrior TP and in line to be next DM. -- One-Man-Band,

26 June 2003
All -- Would you be willing to proxy my lunger Ganglare at the Face-to-Face?  He's
fighting in the champions tourney.  Thanks.  Write:  Michael Rogers #25335-013, PO
Box 6000, Florence, Co 81226 -- Skullagrim

     STOP THINKING TOGS!!!!!  It's here.  Well, almost here anyway.  We're looking at
a start date of the first turn in Aradi (DM 60) following the Fall Mail-In.  This
should give everyone sufficient time to study the new ultra-improved T#%S IV rules 
and prep accordingly.  So without further ado, here is your handy-dandy guide to
winning your very own Golden Scrod (and some other very cool prizes to be announced
officially before the start of the tourney that must not be named):
1.  Each T#%S team consists of two managers.  After the tourney starts, there will be
    no switching partners whatsoever, so choose your partners wisely.  T#%S IV will
    last for 13 turns, so pick a partner you can stand for 6 months or so.  The only
    team I know of so far is last TOGS winners:  Ganolus Oakleaf/Hombre of Blood
    Related/Thieves Guild.  Hey, this is fun!
2.  The T#%S entry fee is 2 team setups per manager.  This means 4 setups per T#%S
    team.  This entry fee is required before the start of the tourney with no
    exceptions being made.  This is to ensure that nobody gets screwed if a team or
    manager decides to back out early.  To pay the entry fee either:
    a) send $10 cash/check/money order/ or whatever to me personally at:
       Andy Salveson
       6812 Romanzo Way
       Elk Grove, CA 95758
    b) get RSI to send me 2 team setup gift certificates.  Sorry, no credit cards and
       no old teams you have lying around will be accepted.
3.  T#%S point system:
    10 points for winning on your up-challenge against another T#%S warrior.
    7 points for winning on your even challenge of another T#%S warrior.
    7 points for winning on another T#%S warriors challenge.
    7 points for winning a random matchup against another T#%S warrior.
    4 points for winning on your down-challenge of another T#%S warrior.
    4 points for winning a random matchup against a non-T#%S warrior.  Do not fight
      your team mate, you will not get any points.  Also, you will not get any points
      if you challenge or get challenged by a non-T#%S team, so use your avoids
      wisely if you think someone is out to get you.
   10 points for being the Duelmaster.  This is in addition to all points listed
      above and will begin turn 1, so prep accordingly.
    5 points for every spotlight written by any team member, 1 per manager per turn.
      The minimum length of a spotlight to receive points is 1/2 column in the
      newsletter (that's 31 lines-each line 85 characters across) and I will be
      completely firm on this.  In addition to the length criteria, spotlights will
      not be given points if they are in any way plagiarized or if they are not
      Duelmasters or fantasy related.  I will be the sole judge of this.  If you're
      unsure if I will judge something to be Duelmasters or fantasy related, then
      e-mail me before you write the spotlight and ask me.  I reserve the right to
      take points away from a spotlight after they are given if I judge at a later
      time that the spotlight has been plagiarized.
   -5 points per manager per turn every time a manager does not at least write one
      personal ad.
   -5 points for being the team that avoided the most.
     If you participated in TOGS III, you'll notice some slight changes in the points
structure.  The main things are points for random match ups against non T#%S
warriors, bonus points for being the Duelmaster, new spotlight criteria, and no
points given for being the most avoided team.
4.  I already mentioned this, but T#%S IV will start the first turn in arena 60 after
    the Fall Mail-In runs and it will last for 13 turns.  There will not be a
    Survivor format this time around, meaning no eliminations.  I will still be doing
    the multipliers at the end, however.  This means that all points accumulated by a
    team on turns 10 and 11 will be multiplied by 1.5 and all points accumulated by
    each team on turns 12 and 13 will be multiplied by 2.
5.  Prizes are yet to be determined, but I'll tell you what I know.  There will be
    prizes given out each turn to whichever team scores the most combined points on a
    given turn.  Tie breakers will go to the team with the most wins on that turn and
    then to the team with most overall points.  I have asked RSI for the same prizes
    as last TOGS which were transferring any warrior to arena 60 and renaming Aradi
    for approximately 6 months, but we'll see what they come back with.  I haven't
    decided how to split the prizes up, partly because I don't know how many teams
    will be entering yet, but I do know the prizes will be split among the top 3
    teams at the end.  I will announce the exact breakdown of everything when I know
6.  And just like TOGS III, Death Stud and I will be the sole arbiters of any dispute
    that may arise.  Whine all you like, but as Nuln told you last time, that's how
    it is.
7.  M & RR Clause (go ahead, read between the capitals):  I reserve the right to
    disallow entry to this tourney if you have a previous history of being a big fat
    mouth about everything.
     I think that pretty much covers it.  I will be accepting team entries as of now
and then posting them in the newsletters as I receive entry fees.  Please feel free
to e-mail me regarding any questions or comments at Ganolus@aol.com.  So everyone don
your best pair of leg warmers, hop on your favorite farm animal, and ride to Aradi
for the 4th kinda-annual Tournament that must not be named for no apparent reason
whatsoever, or T#%S IV, for short.  See ya'll there!

-- Ganolus Oakleaf, T#%S IV Commish

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

SPIKE butchered SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
BIRDBRAIN was vanquished by KLUMSY TUMBLES in a 1 minute Challenge Title battle.
ONE-MAN BAND was savagely defeated by KING LOVE in a 3 minute Challenge fight.
SPIRITED slimly lost to JIMMY CRICKET in a popular 7 minute brutal Challenge fight.
QUEENSRYCHE was outwaited by DEAD DUCK in a action packed 7 minute Challenge brawl.
ENOCH overpowered TERIS in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
WARRANT bested TIGER ELF in a 2 minute gory Challenge competition.
DANZIG unbelievably bested ARNIE EL SHEW in a 4 minute Challenge melee.
MUD DUCK vanquished RATZ in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge duel.
DESPICABLE DUCK overpowered KUNG-FU MASTER in a 1 minute uneven match.
FOIL D'AGEN overpowered JOPHAN in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
SIANNA demolished DANGEROUS CRIMINAL in a 1 minute mismatched competition.
QUAKY ASP was outlasted by OUATE LE PHOQUE in a tiring 17 minute brawl.
BIG BOP was handily defeated by DRAXLER in a 1 minute one-sided conflict.
HUMP THE CAMEL outlasted THE USEROUS MERCHANT in a crowd boring 15 minute struggle.
CASE easily killed MORDANT DESERTER in a 1 minute mismatched bout.
NINSEI was bested by CRAZY LOON in a 2 minute novice's brawl.
ONO-SENDEI overpowered CONVICTED THIEF in a 1 minute one-sided match.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   6         WALL OF STEEL      6 -   2 -  1      75  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      6         BASHING ATTACK     8 -   4 -  2      67  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    4         AIMED BLOW        17 -   9 -  0      65  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         LUNGING ATTACK    26 -  14 -  2      65  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    2         TOTAL PARRY       20 -  17 -  0      54  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      2         PARRY-RIPOSTE     15 -  16 -  0      48  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  2         SLASHING ATTACK   12 -  15 -  0      44  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         PARRY-STRIKE       5 -   7 -  0      42  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         STRIKING ATTACK    8 -  12 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         PARRY-LUNGE        3 -   8 -  0      27  |

Turn 418 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  2         4  LUNGING ATTACK 
WALL OF STEEL      2 -  0                                       3  AIMED BLOW     
AIMED BLOW         2 -  1                                       2  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  2                                       1  STRIKING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY        4 -  2                                       1  PARRY-RIPOSTE  
PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  1     
PARRY-RIPOSTE      2 -  2     
SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  1     
BASHING ATTACK     1 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
LUNGING ATTACK   KLUMSY TUMBLES 3918        12   0  0  137 CARNIVAL (379)
AIMED BLOW       DESPICABLE DUCK 3915       14   7  0  100 WIMPS MOST FOWL (355)
TOTAL PARRY      ONE-MAN BAND 3841          16  11  0   73 CARNIVAL (379)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    SIANNA 3914                15   8  0   67 BEYOND THE PALE (337)
STRIKING ATTACK  QUEENSRYCHE 3942            6   3  0   56 THAT 80'S METAL (394)
WALL OF STEEL    DRAXLER 3294                7   3  0   43 OF WOLF AND MAN 8 (347)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is TERIS 3895.  The most popular warrior this turn was 
QUEENSRYCHE 3942.  The ten other most popular fighters were ARNIE EL SHEW 3930, KING 
3914, DRAXLER 3294, CRAZY LOON 3961, and SPIKE 3963.

The least popular fighter this week was OUATE LE PHOQUE 3902.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were QUAKY ASP 3919, HUMP THE CAMEL 3903, NINSEI 3959, JOPHAN 3846, 
TERIS 3895, BIRDBRAIN 3921, ONO-SENDEI 3962, BIG BOP 3935, RATZ 3960, and MUD DUCK 

The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn: