DUELMASTERS NEWSLETTER
Date : 03/02/2004 Duedate: 03/15/2004
KATI-TEI ARENA
DM-41 TURN-428
This Weeks Top Honors
THE DUELMASTER IS
PELICAN
BIRDS (286)
(41-3949) [14-6-0,92]
Chartered Recognition Leader Unchartered Recognition Leader
PELICAN BOTOX BARBIE
BIRDS (286) HELTER SKELTER (350)
(41-3949) [14-6-0,92] (41-3928) [2-0-0,29]
Popularity Leader This Weeks Favorite
PELICAN GOT BLOOD?
BIRDS (286) MAD COWS (363)
(41-3949) [14-6-0,92] (41-4083) [1-0-0,14]
THE CURRENT TOP TEAM
WANDERERS (329)
TEAMS ON THE MOVE TOP CAREER HONORS
Team Name Point Gain Chartered Team
1. LIQUOR CABINET (366) 33
2. MEMPHIS MAFIA (360) 31 BIRDS (286)
3. LOOD FOOD (367) 28 Unchartered Team
4. MAD COWS (363) 23
5. BLITZKRIEG (359) 17 LIQUOR CABINET (366)
The Top Teams
Career Win-Loss Record W L K % Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns W L K
1/ 3*LIQUOR CABINET (366) 6 4 2 60.0 1/ 1 WANDERERS (329) 9 6 0
2/ 1*WOLF PACK (361) 6 4 0 60.0 2/ 8*LIQUOR CABINET (366) 6 4 2
3- 4*WONDERLAND (358) 11 8 1 57.9 3/ 5*WOLF PACK (361) 6 4 0
4/ 8*MAD COWS (363) 5 4 0 55.6 4/ 6*MEMPHIS MAFIA (360) 6 7 1
5/ 2*BLITZKRIEG (359) 7 6 3 53.8 5/ 9*MAD COWS (363) 5 4 0
6/ 5 BIRDS (286) 55 50 4 52.4 6- 3*HELPLESS ANIMALS (362) 5 5 0
7/13*GLAD TO MEAT YOU (370) 5 5 0 50.0 7/12*GLAD TO MEAT YOU (370) 5 5 0
8- 6*HELPLESS ANIMALS (362) 5 5 0 50.0 8/ 4 BIRDS (286) 5 7 0
9/ 9 WANDERERS (329) 285 324 6 46.8 9/11*HELTER SKELTER (350) 4 5 0
10-10 LOST SOULS (180) 18 21 2 46.2 10/10*CHAZZARIUM (371) 4 6 0
11/ 7*MEMPHIS MAFIA (360) 6 7 1 46.2 11- 7*WONDERLAND (358) 3 1 0
12/11*HELTER SKELTER (350) 4 5 0 44.4 12/ 2*BLITZKRIEG (359) 3 6 2
13/12*CHAZZARIUM (371) 4 6 0 40.0 13/13*OLD SCHOOL (368) 3 7 0
14/14*OLD SCHOOL (368) 3 7 0 30.0 14/14*LOOD FOOD (367) 1 9 0
15/15*LOOD FOOD (367) 1 9 0 10.0 15-15 LOST SOULS (180) 0 1 0
'*' Unchartered team '-' Team did not fight this turn
(###) Avoid teams by their Team Id ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank
TEAM SPOTLIGHT
+ ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ Out of the Past #2 ]H[ + ---:--- + ]H[ +
Zorpunt:
If anyone was aware of a difference in the air of the city, or in the texture of
life and death in the arena, they did not mention it. Of course, with a stranger
holding a wizard's staff and guarded by...some kind of monsters sitting in the
arenamaster's box, who was going to mention things, even if they DID notice?
And who, dying messily in the Dark Arena, would mention strange lights and
unexplained whistling noises? If Arenamaster Kai saw fit to lay down pentagrams and
other designs of colored sand on the arena floor before each fight...well, he WAS the
arenamaster. No doubt he knew what he was doing.
It was known that a few managers intended to protest that they had not ordered
the actual, literal death of their warriors, but only formal dismissal from the
gladiatorial system. But when they came back from the arenamaster's office, they
looked pale and shaken, and they had nothing to tell anyone about the situation. And
one or two of them didn't come back at all.
*** ***** *** ***** ***
"There IS something going on," Penok muttered to Jessie June as they waited in
the ready area for their fight to be called. "Something bad. I can feel it in my
bones. I don't care what the Rau says." She jerked her head sideways slightly,
indicating Tijiss Rau, the arena steward waiting in the archway just ahead of them.
"You know Rau," Jessie June muttered back. "'All for the best in the best of
all possible worlds', that's Rau. He wouldn't know 'something bad' if he ate it for
dinner and got sick right after." She eyed the crystals set into the wall of the
arena. About a third of them were black, the rest were blood red. They reminded her
of the eyes of spiders. "If those are purely ornamental, I'll eat 'em."
"Magic," Cane Toad said flatly, coming up behind the two women. "Blood magic.
You can smell it in the air. At least, I can. There's a lot of it down south where
I come from, and I'd know that smell anywhere."
"I thought all magic was screwed up because of the Chaos and the Arcanum and
all!" Penok protested.
The poisonous Toad shook his head firmly. "Not blood magic. You spill enough
blood, nothing else matters."
"And there's always a lot of blood spilled in the arena," Jessie June whispered,
horrified at the possibilities.
"And the arena's been bloodier since those crystals went up," Cane Toad said.
"There's something bad going down here."
Valamantis:
Hallie O'Dene went overland from Andoria to the Delarquan Federation. It might
have been faster to sail--if she could have found a ship going where she needed to
go, or hired one. But she found herself distrusting the Trier. The mage Khaldren
had come out of the Trier, after all. He might have some power over it. And he was
bound to notice that she and Raoul hadn't come back from the errand he'd commanded.
But these were all logical reasons that she had arrived at to explain her decision to
herself. In fact, she simply hadn't trusted the Trier at an instinctive level. She
made her way on foot along the coast to Gelafan, then hired horses as needed for a
fast ride south. Well...fast! She might have laughed if she hadn't been so worried.
Six days to Valamantis. What horrors might the mad wizard have accomplished in six
days?
Her plan was to take a riverboat up the Feyranse past Mordant to Sibikhas, and
then go by horse again to Delarq Tor.
But there were towers behind Valamantis, where no towers had been for hundreds
of years. They had none of the dream-like unreality of the vision towers that
Khaldren had raised over Zorpunt, and that was alarming. Valamantis was much older
than Zorpunt. There had once BEEN towers--it was called Old Valamantis now, and it
was in ruins except for the arena where the Bloodgames were held. On that thought,
Hallie froze briefly, horrified by the realization that there had been Bloodgames
recently, lakes of blood spilled on that ancient soil. What might Khaldren have
conjured out of that? She didn't think she wanted to know.
Aruak City:
The return of a wizard from drowned Krael was news that should reach Andor as
quickly as possible. It took Raoul two days to reach Aruak City from Zorpunt, longer
than he would have liked, but faster than he had feared. The Aruaki countryside had
suffered badly during the civil war and from the Chaos contamination just before
that. People were getting it back into shape now, but there were no horses to be
rented or bought. Or stolen, come to that. Walking was faster than riding a plow
horse would've been, even if he could've gotten hold of one of the plowhorses.
But he was damned glad to see the towers (most of the towers, some were nothing
but stumps) of Aruak city ahead. He compared their slightly battered appearance with
the towers of Khaldren's Zorpunt and found this much better. This was REAL. Maybe
not perfect, maybe not as beautiful as a dream, but real. He'd take this over the
perfect illusion any day.
His first goal in the city was the Bulldog Inn. He needed news, he needed to
contact his manager, and he wanted to alert Adie, the manager of the Tuft Tuggers, to
the danger. Adie was a magician of some kind--he'd never bothered with the details--
and she could be an important part of the opposition to the Kraelian. EARLY
opposition, too, before the man got entrenched in Zorpunt. That might make a
difference.
The Inn was jammed. Odd, that. Aruak City had always had a vigorous dueling
community, but...this many gladiators? He could barely SEE across the common room,
much less move quickly. But there was a table of managers in an alcove at the back.
He'd find news there, if he could reach it.
The Lord Protector took a last look at the crowd, shook his head, and plunged in
under the elbow of a Shew. The man was too tall for most managers, but there were
always one or two who would give a large gladiator a chance. From the looks of the
scars, this man had been at it a while, but he was nobody Raoul recognized. Well,
he'd been away for a long time. Quite a long time, actually.
"Raoul!"
He paused and looked toward the woman whose hand was on his sleeve. Hair like a
sunrise and wide violet eyes. "Lady Adeolar! You're one of the people I wanted to
find. There--"
"Not here in the middle of the floor, Raoul." She drew him to one side and
through an inconspicuous door. "Jhordeal will be glad to know you are well, but
that's not what you came for, is it?"
"Glad to know I'm...?" When had he been in Aruak City last? Mantor, it was
years ago! Before the civil war, and he had died.... He took off his hat, looked at
the rounded, dusty crown, ran a hand over his head, and put the hat back on. No time
to go into that now. "No, doll, that's not why I came this way. There's magical
trouble. Serious magical trouble, I think."
"You came from Zorpunt?" She twisted a lock of hair between nervous fingers.
"I have felt something happening there--something dark--"
He nodded briefly. "I saw it start, and it's going to be damned dark," he
muttered. Quickly, he sketched in what he and Hallie had learned of the wizard
Khaldren and his intentions. "I don't know how he's doing that much magic," he
finished, "because everyone says the Arcanum is in decline and spells aren't working,
but--"
"He's using blood magic." The woman's beautiful face hardened. "It is the
oldest magic and the most primitive. Almost always used for darkness and
destruction," she muttered, frowning, "even though it doesn't have to be.... It's
the least dependent on the Arcanum, unfortunately, the easiest to pervert, and the
hardest to control once it gets started." She frowned, twisting the lock of hair
harder. "In the hands of a powerful wizard with no scruples...."
"That's what me and Hallie figured," Raoul said, nodding. "I'm headed for
Andor--the king has to be warned. And Hallie's taking the warning to Delarq Tor."
"Yes, of course. Definitely the right thing to do. But you need to see your
manager before you leave town, Raoul. He's been worried about you." She patted his
arm absently, still frowning. "I will gather as much information about this wizard
and his spells as I can.... I wish Shania were here, she is so good at that. Well,
I must work with what I have." She patted his arm one last time and opened the door
to the inn's main room. "Off with you, and tell the other managers that...tell them
I have things to do, and I'll add to your news later."
* }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *
---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---
Duelmasters
-----------
DM 8 ARKERS (turn 241): CLOSED MIND of BLACKTHORN ORCS (Slugbait, mgr.)
DM 11 ARUAK CITY (turn 483): BLIND LEMON of THE BLUES (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
DM 14 TOBIR (turn 483): 10% VIGORISH of THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
DM 22 SOLVEN (turn 476): BLOOD MOON of LOST SOULS 1 (Soultaker, mgr.)
DM 24 ZORPUNT (turn 472): TAZZY TIGER of AUSSIE KILLERS (THawk, mgr.)
DM 25 LYRATILAN (turn 472): ABSOLUCIOUN of CHAUCERS WORDS (Berylstar, mgr.)
DM 26 CALEAM (turn 473): DIESEL of WARCKERS (Papaiz, mgr.)
DM 30 IAYE (turn 468): SNOTMAN of I TRAINED THEM (Soultaker, mgr.)
DM 40 ZENSU (turn 434): QUEENSRYCHE of THAT 80'S METAL (Street Legal, mgr.)
DM 41 KATI-TEI (turn 427): PELICAN of BIRDS (JE, mgr.)
DM 46 ARDIVENT (turn 421): PURPLE SASH of HARDTIMESINBABYLON (Technogeek, mgr.)
DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 188): GRIM GLADIOLA of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
DM 60 ARADI (turn 332): LIGHTNING IX of DEATH STUDS VII (Death Stud, mgr.)
DM 63 AMEN-TEI (turn 321): ELENA of SITTIN' ON ACES (Generalissimo Puerco, mgr.)
DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 143): TOMB of SHADOW GOLD (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 369): MONICA VIRTUESHIELD of KNIGHTS OF VIRTUE from ARUAK CITY
(JRK, mgr.)
Top Teams
---------
DM 8 ARKERS (turn 241): X-FORCE (Savant, mgr.)
DM 11 ARUAK CITY (turn 483): MORAL FIBER (Nunzio Frothingslosh, mgr.)
DM 14 TOBIR (turn 483): THE DOGHOUSE (Leeta, mgr.)
DM 22 SOLVEN (turn 476): none
DM 24 ZORPUNT (turn 472): AUSSIE KILLERS (THawk, mgr.)
DM 25 LYRATILAN (turn 472): CHAUCERS WORDS (Berylstar, mgr.)
DM 26 CALEAM (turn 473): WARCKERS (Papaiz, mgr.)
DM 30 IAYE (turn 468): I TRAINED THEM (Soultaker, mgr.)
DM 40 ZENSU (turn 434): WIMPS MOST FOWL (Wimpy, mgr.)
DM 41 KATI-TEI (turn 427): WANDERERS (Leeta, mgr.)
DM 46 ARDIVENT (turn 421): DEATHTONGUE (Technogeek, mgr.)
DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 188): ASSASSIN NATION (Ghab, mgr.)
DM 60 ARADI (turn 332): none
DM 63 AMEN-TEI (turn 321): SAFE HAVEN (Keldon Blackfang, mgr.)
DM 71 KYR'TERR (turn 143): SHADOW SONGS (Shadowgate, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 369): DA AFRO, etc. (?, mgr.)
Recent Graduates
----------------
DM 8 ARKERS (turn 241): MELTDOWN of X-FORCE (Savant, mgr.)
(turn 240): LUMBERING WAIF of HAPLESS WAIF (Berylstar, mgr.)
DM 11 ARUAK CITY (turn 482): GOLDEN MOMENT of COLORIFIC (Purple People Eater, mgr.)
DM 22 SOLVEN (turn 475): GARY CONDIT of THE DEMOCRATS (Al Gore, mgr.)
JUSTICE of THE REPUBLICANS (The Judge, mgr.)
DM 26 CALEAM (turn 471): SARINA of GOLDEN CANYON (Klondike Kate, mgr.)
DM 30 IAYE (turn 467): SONIC TACO of TRIP OUT (Angus, mgr.)
DM 40 ZENSU (turn 434): QUEENSRYCHE of THAT 80'S METAL (Street Legal, mgr.)
DM 52 FRATSFA (turn 188): RED EYE of ASSASSIN NATION (Ghab, mgr.)
DM 60 ARADI (turn 331): ACUTE of THIEVES GUILD (Hombre, mgr.)
GAZREKK of DEMONS OF DARKNESS 2 (Rillion, mgr.)
DM 63 AMEN-TEI (turn 320): WANDERING JO of WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
SPY REPORT
Well, what are you looking at, KATI-TEI? Ain't you never seen Snide Clemens
before? Ah, shaddup and listen to my news. LIQUOR CABINET turned their 3-2-1 turn
into a 2nd place rank in the listings this turn. Any better than this, and you get
put on hit lists. Of course, we're all terribly impressed to see MR. SALTY win a
fight and gain 21 points, terribly. Tsk, tsk, MR. SALTY beat TOWER and TOWER lost 15
points. You're breakin' my heart. And if variety is the spice of life, KATI-TEI may
be getting bland, as PELICAN stays top dog in the city. I'm not in a very good mood
today, but why am I telling you this? You want to know what's new, don't you,
KATI-TEI?
He who fights and runs away will live to fight another day, the coward. What's
the big D? BLITZKRIEG was the most avoided team? Bunch of lily livered...
grumble... mumble... curse... And it looks like WOLF PACK avoided them the most this
turn. What a pack of would be losers, if you ask me. Hmph. Ooh, I'm frightfully
impressed, SATURN was this turn's most challenged warrior. Watch that ego swell,
sports fans. COSMIC JIGG was challenged by one of LIQUOR CABINET's warriors this
turn, with HOOCH having a lead of 16 points going into the fight. Question now is,
will KATI-TEI accept this sort of tacky behavior? HOOCH beating COSMIC JIGG. The
insult, the....yech! I guess I can give a little credit to BIG GULP of LOOD FOOD for
challenging up by 21 to OSTRICH. BIG GULP lost to get 8 points of recognition. And
we have UDDERLY POED in a challenge, going down 9 points for the fight. Guess what?
I thought UDDERLY POED showed great skill and promise when he was overcame by RONNY
HANNA. All right, so I slept through it! Big deal!
Death and Taxes. The less death I see, the more it taxes my patience. Let's
see if anyone's dead or dying. Honor is like a chainmail shirt, it only shines
through use. Certain nameless cowards will doubtless rebuke me on this one.
There's got to be a better place in KATI-TEI to get a drink than The Dripping
Blade! Any suggestions? Just wait 'till next time I show up here, I won't be so
nice! So nyaaah! I see the crowds are getting restless, I must leave now-- Snide
Clemens
DUELMASTER W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
PELICAN 3949 14 6 0 92 BIRDS (286)
CHAMPIONS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
MARS 3989 8 2 0 82 WANDERERS (329)
BETHANNE GRACE 3984 8 6 1 68 WANDERERS (329)
CHALLENGER ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
TORA HAMLIN 3983 9 5 1 60 WANDERERS (329)
JEHU 3963 11 9 0 57 WANDERERS (329)
-DERVISH KNIGHT 2047 6 3 0 57 LOST SOULS (180)
ADEPTS W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
-PLAGUE LORD 2043 6 4 1 52 LOST SOULS (180)
CHALLENGER INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
OSTRICH 3970 7 6 0 33 BIRDS (286)
-YELLOW BRICK TOAD 4018 2 0 0 33 HELPLESS ANIMALS (362)
-ALICE 3993 3 1 1 32 WONDERLAND (358)
-WHITE RABBIT 3994 3 1 0 32 WONDERLAND (358)
BOTOX BARBIE 3928 2 0 0 29 HELTER SKELTER (350)
HOOCH 4042 2 0 1 28 LIQUOR CABINET (366)
SADISTA FAIRBORNE 4006 3 0 0 25 MEMPHIS MAFIA (360)
BOOZEHOUND 4041 2 0 0 25 LIQUOR CABINET (366)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
MR. SALTY 4072 1 0 0 21 LOOD FOOD (367)
XXX 4038 2 0 1 19 LIQUOR CABINET (366)
SATURN 3990 4 6 0 18 WANDERERS (329)
-THE WALRUS 3995 3 1 0 18 WONDERLAND (358)
OSPRY 3988 2 4 1 17 BIRDS (286)
BIFF RULES 4015 2 0 0 17 WOLF PACK (361)
INITIATES W L K POINTS TEAM NAME
JEALOUSY 4007 1 2 0 17 MEMPHIS MAFIA (360)
MOOOOOOO! 4024 2 0 0 16 MAD COWS (363)
-FERRETOLOGY 4019 2 0 0 15 HELPLESS ANIMALS (362)
RUBIX CUBESTEAK 4061 2 0 0 15 GLAD TO MEAT YOU (370)
-PRIDEFULL 2359 2 1 0 14 LOST SOULS (180)
GOT BLOOD? 4083 1 0 0 14 MAD COWS (363)
PISTONS MCGUIRE 3926 2 0 0 13 HELTER SKELTER (350)
RONNY HANNA 4071 1 1 0 12 CHAZZARIUM (371)
TRUE GRIT 4013 1 1 0 11 WOLF PACK (361)
RHAYNE 4009 2 1 1 10 MEMPHIS MAFIA (360)
BATAAN 4001 2 1 1 9 BLITZKRIEG (359)
BARNICLE BILL 4000 1 0 1 9 BLITZKRIEG (359)
UDDERLY POED 4023 1 1 0 8 MAD COWS (363)
BIG GULP 4047 0 2 0 8 LOOD FOOD (367)
BDYY 3997 2 1 0 7 BLITZKRIEG (359)
PORTERHOUSE ARREST 4059 1 1 0 7 GLAD TO MEAT YOU (370)
-WHITE KNIGHT 4064 1 0 0 7 WONDERLAND (358)
TIP THIS! 4021 1 0 0 7 MAD COWS (363)
-FALCON 4004 0 1 0 7 BIRDS (286)
HERGROM 4069 1 1 0 6 CHAZZARIUM (371)
TURBO PLEASE-BOX 4049 1 1 0 6 OLD SCHOOL (368)
VINYL SPASM 4081 1 0 0 6 OLD SCHOOL (368)
WHIPPED TOPPING 4045 0 2 0 6 LOOD FOOD (367)
BARON BREWSKIE 4037 0 2 0 6 LIQUOR CABINET (366)
KING FISHER 4005 1 2 0 5 BIRDS (286)
-PAPER TIGER 4016 1 1 0 5 HELPLESS ANIMALS (362)
TORCH MY MONKEY 4067 1 1 0 5 CHAZZARIUM (371)
CHICKEN TIGHT JEANS 4080 1 0 0 5 GLAD TO MEAT YOU (370)
-PASSION 2360 1 1 0 4 LOST SOULS (180)
COSMIC JIGG 4011 1 1 0 4 WOLF PACK (361)
TOWER 4012 1 1 0 4 WOLF PACK (361)
LION RINGER 4014 1 1 0 4 WOLF PACK (361)
WHIP-CRASH 3927 0 2 0 2 HELTER SKELTER (350)
HOLY SCHLITZ 4052 0 2 0 2 OLD SCHOOL (368)
EGGS OVERLY EASY 4044 0 2 0 2 LOOD FOOD (367)
CHICK MAGNATE 4070 0 2 0 2 CHAZZARIUM (371)
COLD HANDS 4022 0 2 0 2 MAD COWS (363)
$BLING$ 3925 0 2 0 2 HELTER SKELTER (350)
-AL'AMED 2370 0 1 0 1 LOST SOULS (180)
GAMBIT 4008 0 1 0 1 MEMPHIS MAFIA (360)
'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.
THE DEAD W L K TEAM NAME SLAIN BY TURN Revenge?
FOXY CLEO 3998 1 2 1 BLITZKRIEG 359 DARK CHAMPION 24 428 NONE
STONEWALL 3999 1 2 0 BLITZKRIEG 359 STONE GOLEM 26 428 NONE
ROXANNE 4068 1 1 0 CHAZZARIUM 371 DARK CHAMPION 24 428 NONE
STEAK YOUR CLAIM 4062 1 1 0 GLAD TO MEAT YOU 370 WURM KIN 27 428 NONE
PRIME TIME 4079 0 1 0 GLAD TO MEAT YOU 370 BARNICLE BILL 4000 428
GOOD VS WEEVIL 4017 0 1 0 HELPLESS ANIMALS 362 RHAYNE 4009 426
THUNDERGUT 4039 0 2 0 LIQUOR CABINET 366 HIGH ELF 19 428 NONE
HAPPY MEAL 4073 0 1 0 LOOD FOOD 367 SHEWISH GIANT 21 428 NONE
ESAI 4010 0 3 0 MEMPHIS MAFIA 360 BANDIT PRINCE 25 428 NONE
PAPPY BLUE RIBS 4051 1 1 0 OLD SCHOOL 368 XXX 4038 428
ZUCCHINI TOAST 4050 0 2 0 OLD SCHOOL 368 BATAAN 4001 428
MAD HATTER 3991 1 2 0 WONDERLAND 358 TORA HAMLIN 3983 424 NOT REVE
PERSONAL ADS
White Rabbit -- Wait till you see what I can do with a casserole including onions and
garlic, maybe string beans, certain seasonings, bacon...and rabbit. -- Tora Hamlin
The Walrus -- Your step was even more leaden than mine. Impressive! -- Saturn
Well, I WILL say that the Khalhums Dwarf seems to teach well. -- Bethanne Grace
Plague Lord -- It does you no good to dominate the MIDDLE of the fight. -- Jehu
Ah, that stupid jaywalker! -- Mars
Polarius -- Thanks for coming back! I think I might get hurt, too. (laugh) Oh
well. Here goes nothing. -- Bookie
Zucchini Toast -- Whatever "old school" you went to should have the lunchlady
flogged, hung up by the toenails, and forced to watch Joe Don Baker movies. That's
just plain gross. -- Sadista
White Knight -- Only thing worse than your deftness is the fact that I lost to
someone with your deftness. I now gladly commit suicide. -- Esai
Paper Tiger -- Uh-uh. Not today. -- Rhayne
Turbo Please-Box -- Hehe. I love innuendoes. Do you vibrate? -- Bookie
Is it me or is every warrior in here named after food products or psychedelic
charades? Maybe it's just me. -- Bookie
It must just be you. Have you been eating psychedelic food? -- Ed.
Arena -- Well Froth me running! (chuckle) I should've known when Polarius said how
small the arena was and we could prep for tourneys and be in and out of here faster
than Doc Steele on a hot date (grin) that it was too good to be true. I recognize
two of the team names so Hey Charlie! Hey Ultraist! I assume the FIVE other teams
you brought with you are Froth'rs as well. Well, I was going to leave here in four
turns but if it's gonna get interesting I might have to stay. (evil grin) G'luck to
you all and if you don't mind (I know how most don't send ads anymore) would you mind
introducing/identifying yourselves (Froth AND old names would be appreciated). --
Bookie, looking to buy stock in the local mortician's business as he's probably gonna
be busy
4 February 2004
Greeting from Jhans, DM 36 -- In 2 turns the kLk will host our first annual "St.
Valentines Day Massacre" in Jhans, arena 36. (Kill Contest) The contest will begin
on turn 450. It will run for 10 turns. On turn 461 the winners will be announced.
There will be 3 separate categories, the team with the most kills, the alliance with
the most kills, and the warrior with the most kills. For the manager of the team
with the most kills a PRIZE of 10 ROLL-UPS will be rewarded (or $50 deposited into
his account). No need to declare yourself in the personals. If you are in DM 36,
you will be part of the contest whether you like it or not. We encourage as much
trash talk as you'd like. All teams, managers, and alliances invited. Please
contact Polarius (mgr. of Blitzkrieg) in DM 36 with questions. Or you can email me
at jamieptmo@hotmail.com. Good luck and see you in the sands. -- Polarius
25 February 2004
Readers, and especially those who volunteered warriors -- My apologies for the sudden
lack of episodes. I've been sick, but expect to be back at the keyboard soon. -- the
Scribe
LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS
FOXY CLEO was butchered by DARK CHAMPION in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
STEAK YOUR CLAIM was slaughtered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute Dark Arena battle.
ESAI was easily killed by BANDIT PRINCE in a 2 minute gory Dark Arena match.
THUNDERGUT was viciously butchered by HIGH ELF in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena brawl.
ROXANNE was assassinated by DARK CHAMPION in a 2 minute brutal Dark Arena fight.
STONEWALL was butchered by STONE GOLEM in a 2 minute Dark Arena brawl.
HAPPY MEAL was slaughtered by SHEWISH GIANT in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
BOTOX BARBIE overpowered SATURN in a 2 minute gory mismatched Challenge brawl.
CHICK MAGNATE was overcome by MOOOOOOO! in a action packed 1 minute Challenge melee.
UDDERLY POED lost to RONNY HANNA in a 3 minute gruesome novice's Challenge duel.
SADISTA FAIRBORNE vanquished OSPRY in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge fight.
BIFF RULES overpowered HOLY SCHLITZ in a 2 minute one-sided Challenge melee.
HOOCH overpowered COSMIC JIGG in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge match.
PORTERHOUSE ARREST bested COLD HANDS in a 2 minute amateur's Challenge conflict.
BIG GULP was demolished by OSTRICH in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge match.
WHIP-CRASH was overpowered by TRUE GRIT in a 1 minute mismatched Challenge conflict.
RUBIX CUBESTEAK defeated TORCH MY MONKEY in a 6 minute novice's Challenge duel.
XXX dispatched PAPPY BLUE RIBS in a 3 minute bloody novice's Challenge fray.
$BLING$ was viciously subdued by TURBO PLEASE-BOX in a 1 minute Challenge brawl.
PELICAN demolished KUNG-FU MASTER in a 1 minute one-sided Title bout.
JEHU was overpowered by VIRGINAL CONCUBINE in a 1 minute bloody mismatched fight.
MARS devastated VETERAN MERCENARY in a action packed 1 minute one-sided bout.
TORA HAMLIN was demolished by VIRGINAL CONCUBINE in a 1 minute uneven bout.
BETHANNE GRACE handily defeated HAPPY PEASANT in a 1 minute one-sided contest.
TOWER was demolished by MR. SALTY in a 1 minute one-sided fight.
LION RINGER was vanquished by JEALOUSY in a 1 minute one-sided match.
RHAYNE lost to BOOZEHOUND in a exciting 1 minute novice's fight.
BARON BREWSKIE slimly lost to CHICKEN TIGHT JEANS in a dull 12 minute beginner's bout.
KING FISHER was overcome by PISTONS MCGUIRE in a 1 minute amateur's bout.
BATAAN viciously butchered ZUCCHINI TOAST in a 1 minute gory novice's bout.
BDYY was viciously subdued by GOT BLOOD? in a exciting 4 minute brutal novice's fray.
EGGS OVERLY EASY was defeated by VINYL SPASM in a 4 minute novice's fight.
WHIPPED TOPPING was outlasted by TIP THIS! in a exciting 8 minute beginner's bout.
HERGROM won victory over GAMBIT in a 1 minute amateur's fight.
BARNICLE BILL savagely slew PRIME TIME in a exciting 3 minute amateur's match.
BATTLE REPORT
MOST POPULAR RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS
|FIGHTING STYLE FIGHTS FIGHTING STYLE W - L - K PERCENT|
|PARRY-STRIKE 10 WALL OF STEEL 24 - 13 - 3 65 |
|LUNGING ATTACK 9 BASHING ATTACK 16 - 10 - 1 62 |
|TOTAL PARRY 8 AIMED BLOW 12 - 9 - 2 57 |
|WALL OF STEEL 8 STRIKING ATTACK 11 - 9 - 1 55 |
|BASHING ATTACK 6 TOTAL PARRY 15 - 14 - 0 52 |
|AIMED BLOW 6 SLASHING ATTACK 8 - 8 - 1 50 |
|PARRY-LUNGE 4 LUNGING ATTACK 16 - 18 - 2 47 |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE 3 PARRY-LUNGE 9 - 11 - 0 45 |
|STRIKING ATTACK 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE 4 - 6 - 0 40 |
|SLASHING ATTACK 2 PARRY-STRIKE 6 - 15 - 0 29 |
Turn 428 was great if you Not so great if you used The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles: the fighting styles: top eleven warriors are:
LUNGING ATTACK 6 - 3 WALL OF STEEL 3 - 5 2 STRIKING ATTACK
BASHING ATTACK 4 - 2 PARRY-RIPOSTE 1 - 2 2 WALL OF STEEL
AIMED BLOW 3 - 3 PARRY-STRIKE 2 - 8 2 SLASHING ATTACK
PARRY-LUNGE 2 - 2 SLASHING ATTACK 0 - 2 2 AIMED BLOW
STRIKING ATTACK 1 - 1 1 BASHING ATTACK
TOTAL PARRY 4 - 4 1 LUNGING ATTACK
1 PARRY-LUNGE
TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
STRIKING ATTACK PELICAN 3949 14 6 0 92 BIRDS (286)
FIGHTING STYLE WARRIOR W L K PNTS TEAM NAME
BASHING ATTACK MARS 3989 8 2 0 82 WANDERERS (329)
WALL OF STEEL BETHANNE GRACE 3984 8 6 1 68 WANDERERS (329)
LUNGING ATTACK JEHU 3963 11 9 0 57 WANDERERS (329)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.
The overall popularity leader is PELICAN 3949. The most popular warrior this turn
was GOT BLOOD? 4083. The ten other most popular fighters were BARNICLE BILL 4000,
WHIPPED TOPPING 4045, PORTERHOUSE ARREST 4059, BOOZEHOUND 4041, STONEWALL 3999, BOTOX
BARBIE 3928, HOLY SCHLITZ 4052, XXX 4038, PELICAN 3949, and MARS 3989.
The least popular fighter this week was CHICKEN TIGHT JEANS 4080. The other ten
least popular fighters were RUBIX CUBESTEAK 4061, TIP THIS! 4021, TORCH MY MONKEY
4067, PRIME TIME 4079, GAMBIT 4008, ZUCCHINI TOAST 4050, RHAYNE 4009, LION RINGER
4014, TOWER 4012, and JEHU 3963.
The following warriors will travel to ADVANCED DUELMASTERS after next turn:
PELICAN (41-3949) BIRDS (286)