Date   : 03/01/2005    Duedate: 03/14/2005


DM-41    TURN-454

This Weeks Top Honors


(41-4124) [14-6-0,97]

Chartered Recognition Leader   Unchartered Recognition Leader

OLD SCHOOL (368)               
(41-4052) [17-10-2,99]         

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

THE VEAL DEAL                  OSTRICH
GLAD TO MEAT YOU (370)         BIRDS (286)
(41-4104) [13-7-0,67]          (41-3970) [13-13-0,68]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. GLAD TO MEAT YOU (370)      39
2. BIRDS (286)                 30      GLAD TO MEAT YOU (370)
3. OLD SCHOOL (368)            11      Unchartered Team
4. WANDERERS (329)             10
5. 3-2-1 BLAST OFF!!! (380)     0      THERE SHE GOES (260)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1- 1*3-2-1 BLAST OFF!!! (380)   1   0  0  100   1/ 1 GLAD TO MEAT YOU (370)    9  6 0
 2/ 2 GLAD TO MEAT YOU (370)    68  48  2 58.6   2/ 2 OLD SCHOOL (368)          7  5 0
 3/ 0 BIRDS (286)               69  71  6 49.3   3/ 3 WANDERERS (329)           5 10 0
 4/ 3 OLD SCHOOL (368)          57  60  2 48.7   4/ 0 BIRDS (286)               3  1 1
 5/ 4 WANDERERS (329)          339 400  7 45.9   5- 4*3-2-1 BLAST OFF!!! (380)  1  0 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

      * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 254): CHAOS WARRIOR of CHAMPIONS OF STEEL (Blackstorm, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 509): PURPLE PANTHER of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 509): I WET MY BED! of I BENT MY WOOKIE (The Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 502): ANTHONY SCALIA of CONSPIRACY INC. (Damion, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 498): STONEFISH of AUSSIE KILLERS (THawk, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 498): TRIMOX of OSCO INTOXICATORS (Osco, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 499): PINK of SEEING RED (Edge, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 491): ADMIRAL ISO of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 460): BORIS KARLOFF of MEN OF 1,000 FACES (Mad Max, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 453): GREW SOME GRUE of OLD SCHOOL (Otto X. Frothingslosh)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 445): KHORNE SHADOWSPAWN of RUBY DRAGONS (Talon Warsmith)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 201): BEXLEY of OHIO (Berylstar, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 358): THE-SHOCKER of DEATH STUDS VII (Death Stud, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 347): SELAUNAH of WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 156): THE SADMAN of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 395): DEADPOOL of X-FORCE from TARRGIR (Talon Warsmith, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 254): ACID FIRE HAMMERZ (Hammer, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 509): none
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 509): THE DEATH SQUAD (Street Legal, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 502): THE POISON CLAN (Master Tazo, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 498): KRILL CAVALRY (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 498): MADTOWN (Carnage, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 499): HEADBANGERS (Sablon-O-Vlad, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 491): THE WARLOCKS (Malaquar, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 460): MEN OF 1,000 FACES (Mad Max, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 453): GLAD TO MEAT YOU (Alfredo Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 445): BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 201): ASSASSIN NATION (Ghab, mgr.)
 DM  60 ARADI (turn 358): DEATH STUDS VII (Death Stud, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 347): WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 156): THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 395): JUST CHILLIN (Mr. Freeze, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 253): L'ORC BLEU of LA PENTARCHIE (The Pentalque, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 509): PURPLE PANTHER of ANIMAL FARM (Mino, mgr.)
                   (turn 508): STRONGBOW of ELFQUEST (Armalias, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 502): SNAKE CHARMER of KELLUMBO'S KIDS (Detective Kellumbo)
                           BLIND ILLUSION of MEDIEVAL CHAOS (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 459): PISTON HURRICANE of AS FAR AS SIAM (Huckle Cat, mgr.)
                             Frothingslosh, mgr.)
                             CHICKEN TIGHT JEANS of GLAD TO MEAT YOU (Alfredo
                             Frothingslosh, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 346): PASSER BY of WAYFARERS (Leeta, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 156): THE SADMAN of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
                             WHIPSNADE of THE FURIOUS FIVE (Generalissimo Puerco)
                             DASKINOR of DARQUE FORCES (Master Darque, mgr.)

                                      SPY REPORT

     Thankyouthankyou.  It's great for me, The Unknown Spymaster to be back in 
KATI-TEI.  Hope you enjoy the show.  Oh, who am I kidding?  I already got paid!  
Advancing in the rankings was OLD SCHOOL who went from last turn's 54-59-2, to this 
week's record of 57-60-2.  Hey everybody, watch out for HOLY SCHLITZ, who flew up 10 
points in the rankings after mashing JEHU like a melon.  Keep your eye on this guy.  
And falling like a basher in the top ten was CUDDLY KAHLUA, who dropped 3 points 
after a disappointing (to say the least) bout with FLUTTERLEE.  Going for the gusto 
and coming up with aught but bloody knuckles was KATI-TEI's M. CHARDINEE, who was 
turned away from the Duelmastership by GREW SOME GRUE.  Advice to bashers--never 
force anything, just get a bigger halberd!   
     Here is other news that is of note.  Did you hear that OLD SCHOOL was most 
avoided team this week?  Well, knowing the personal hygiene of OLD SCHOOL's warriors, 
I'm not surprised!  Okay, so I may not be funny, but catch GLAD TO MEAT YOU's act in 
the arena.  Those acrobats seem to be fairly deft at running from OLD SCHOOL.  And 
who is this SATURN you ask, with 50 points and a 7-29-0 record.  Ooh, the tales I 
could tell!  THE VEAL DEAL of GLAD TO MEAT YOU had better have a good reason for 
challenging down 10 points in a challenge which he won.  I thought THE VEAL DEAL 
showed great skill and promise when he beat SATURN.  All right, so I slept through 
it!  Big deal!   
     Death is kind of like a new puppy:  he's always around wanting to play.  (Ha 
Zontani, how's that for a wise saying?).  Knowing when to use the right tactics at 
the proper time is a very important step on the road to Duelmaster.   
     Well, there's the manager of the KATI-TEI giving me the 'cut' sign (or is that 
'They're going to strangle you in the alley?).  Okay, so I may not be the world's 
best comedian, but then you guys aren't the world's best warriors.  See ya next time 
I'm on this circuit!-- The Unknown Spymaster  

DUELMASTER                     W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 GREW SOME GRUE 4124          14   6  0    97       OLD SCHOOL (368)

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 HOLY SCHLITZ 4052            17  10  2    99       OLD SCHOOL (368)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 JEHU 3963                    19  27  1    85       WANDERERS (329)
 FLUTTERLEE 4153               8   7  0    71       WANDERERS (329)
-SPOCKA THE HUTT 4137          7   2  0    71       OLD SCHOOL (368)
 OSTRICH 3970                 13  13  0    68       BIRDS (286)
 THE VEAL DEAL 4104           13   7  0    67       GLAD TO MEAT YOU (370)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SPUD-BEARING FUZZ 4161        6   1  0    61       OLD SCHOOL (368)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 SATURN 3990                   7  29  0    50       WANDERERS (329)
 OSPRY 3988                    4  11  2    41       BIRDS (286)
 RUBIX CUBESTEAK 4165          4   4  0    41       GLAD TO MEAT YOU (370)
 LURLINE GRACE 4164            6   3  0    36       WANDERERS (329)
 CUDDLY KAHLUA 4139            7   5  0    34       OLD SCHOOL (368)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 PARNIAN 4138                  5  13  0    28       WANDERERS (329)
 SWAN 4107                     2   1  1    28       BIRDS (286)
 FALCON 4004                   2   4  0    27       BIRDS (286)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-APOLLO XI 4168                1   0  0    11       3-2-1 BLAST OFF!!! (380)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD               W  L K TEAM NAME             SLAIN BY             TURN Revenge?
FRATSFAN NOBLE 3       0  1 0   1                   SWAN 4107             454 NONE    
FREEZER BURN 4178      0  1 0 GLAD TO MEAT YOU 370  SHEWISH GIANT 21      454 NONE    
MAGGOT COLLECTOR 4179  0  1 0 GLAD TO MEAT YOU 370  WURM KIN 27           454 NONE    
BROKEN FRIDGE 4180     0  1 0 GLAD TO MEAT YOU 370  SHEWISH GIANT 21      454 NONE    

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Grew Some Grue -- What, you didn't have any before?  Coulda fooled me. -- Jehu
P.S.  Classic style match.  I hate that kind of thing.

Spud-Bearing Fuzz -- Well, hey, you didn't have to THROW the spud at me.  You
could've just asked me to surrender. -- Lurline Grace
P.S.  I surrender very gracefully.
P.P.S.  The audience wanted ME to win, because I'm better looking.  Watch yourself in

Rubix Cubesteak -- Some days you seem like a veritable tesseract. -- Parnian

Cuddly Kahlua -- What, wouldn't the nurses cuddle you?  Maybe you need to work on the
"cuddly" stuff some more. -- Flutterlee

The Veal Deal -- You're young to be such a snot--  Er, so rude.  Mind your manners
around your elders, young fellow. -- Saturn

5 February 2005
On behalf of the ILLUMINATI Confederation of Alliances (The kLk, CHAOS, Inc. and The
Company of Brothers) I would like to express our sympathies concerning the tragic
loss of Rich Hammes to both the DM community and to the real life world.  Surely our
loss has been Heaven's gain. -- Talon Darkhart, deeply sorrowful
                                kLk God of War, Illuminati Alliance, Puppetmaster

1 March 2005
                                    The Contract
                         [as retold by Hammer the WordSmith]
     What had begun as a contract for swords and armor between a well known name in
the DM community and the former VC Captain/WordSmith and WeaponSmith of the Vendetta
Cartel Tarantula Tribe was destined to impact and altar the landscape of the dueling
community for years to come.
     The following is but a condensed retelling of history in the making.

    Hammer continued sipping his tankard of Elven Tonic as the mysterious hooded
figure quietly seated himself across the table from the Veteran Manager whose back
was against the wall; allowing for a subtle, but effective surveillance of the dimly
lit tavern.
     Recent events in both Illis and North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena had stunned the DM
managerial world with the announcement that Hammer had resigned from his position as
a well respected member of the Vendetta Cartel Alliance.
     Those managers and associates closest to Hammer were shocked and dismayed that
there seemed to be NO Rational Explanation for Hammer making such a seemingly
irrational, hasty and extremely illogical decision; by what seemed to be a spur of
the moment reaction following the Declaration of War by Hammer in the DM 47 P-ads.
     This is what stirred the mysterious hooded figure to seek Hammer with a request
that would change the managerial course of both men; ultimately Rocking the
Managerial World of Alastari as a result of the forthcoming decisions reached by the
two Veterans.
     Time passed swiftly as both Veteran Managers discussed how the landscape of the
DM game on the sands of Alastari had changed over the years both in Basic and Tourney
play; producing a new breed of managers who would of necessity band together in an
alliance with a common goal; waging war against antagonists while improving the
managerial skills of each participating member in their glorious quest for DM
     Hammer listened intently as his unexpected guest inquired about the situation in
North Fork/SCOMSS Swamp Arena; revealing his desire to participate in the upcoming
Turf War 4 contest in DM 47 with an alliance that would accept him on a more
permanent basis other than for just fighting together as a TW4 alliance to win fame
and Gift Certs.
     Here was a Veteran Manager, seeking the advice of Hammer regarding an alliance
to join on a permanent basis; plus extending a sword arm of friendship and requesting
that Hammer join him as an alliance mate with those who would welcome their
     The Iron in the Words of Hammer had produced this opportunity as a result of the
recent conflicts witnessed first hand by the manager seated across the table from
Hammer.  This Veteran Manager had been secretly searching and scouting around
Alastari for someone worth his mettle to fight alongside; someone who would know
where to find the perfect gang of rebels who were unafraid of waging war against
     Hammer knew exactly where to look and in a matter of days the two newcomers were
welcomed into the ranks of a group of managers who received them as war waging equals
in an alliance that had joined a Confederation of Alliances for the TW4 contest.
     Fighting under the banner of The Illuminati Confederation of Alliances alongside
members of Chaos Inc, kLk and The Company of Brothers during the TW4 was more than
either of the two Veteran Managers had envisioned a few months ago.
     Hammer was now entering a new journey with a new attitude.
     Perhaps you readers may have noticed that new attitude by now since this
announcement by Hammer is uncharacteristically Exclamation Point Free.
     Except for the famous quote by Hammer at the end of this announcement.
     Now that Hammer and the Mysterious Hooded Figure have agreed to join forces with
an alliance whose members have welcomed them enthusiastically; let those who desire
to be antagonistic be forewarned as to the identities of these newly welcomed wagers
of war:

kLk Bringer of Pain

kLk WordSmith and WeaponSmith
Minister of War
Illuminati Idealist

     "May Your Blades Be Sharp and Your Wits Sharper!"

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

FREEZER BURN was dealt death by SHEWISH GIANT in a 2 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
MAGGOT COLLECTOR was slaughtered by WURM KIN in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
BROKEN FRIDGE was killed by SHEWISH GIANT in a 2 minute gruesome Dark Arena fight.
HOLY SCHLITZ devastated JEHU in a popular 1 minute one-sided Challenge contest.
THE VEAL DEAL demolished SATURN in a 2 minute mismatched Challenge competition.
RUBIX CUBESTEAK overpowered PARNIAN in a 1 minute one-sided Challenge struggle.
GREW SOME GRUE outwaited M. CHARDINEE in a slow 14 minute Title competition.
OSTRICH viciously subdued LURLINE GRACE in a action packed 2 minute uneven melee.
SPUD-BEARING FUZZ defeated OSPRY in a action packed 1 minute gory duel.
FLUTTERLEE overpowered CUDDLY KAHLUA in a 2 minute uneven match.
SWAN executed FRATSFAN NOBLE in a 2 minute one-sided fight.
FALCON subdued TRUSTWORTHY SCRIBE in a 1 minute master vs. amateur competition.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|SLASHING ATTACK                  4         PARRY-STRIKE       3 -   1 -  1      75  |
|LUNGING ATTACK                   3         PARRY-RIPOSTE      6 -   3 -  0      67  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      3         PARRY-LUNGE        2 -   1 -  0      67  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  2         STRIKING ATTACK    8 -   4 -  0      67  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   2         SLASHING ATTACK   21 -  15 -  1      58  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      1         LUNGING ATTACK    22 -  21 -  2      51  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     1         TOTAL PARRY       19 -  22 -  0      46  |
|AIMED BLOW                       1         AIMED BLOW         2 -   3 -  0      40  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    1         BASHING ATTACK     1 -   4 -  0      20  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    0         WALL OF STEEL      0 -   1 -  0       0  |

Turn 454 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

PARRY-LUNGE        1 -  0     TOTAL PARRY        1 -  2         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
PARRY-STRIKE       1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         0 -  1         3  SLASHING ATTACK
STRIKING ATTACK    2 -  0     PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  1         2  TOTAL PARRY    
LUNGING ATTACK     2 -  1     BASHING ATTACK     0 -  2         1  STRIKING ATTACK
SLASHING ATTACK    2 -  2     WALL OF STEEL      0 -  0         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                                                                1  AIMED BLOW     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
TOTAL PARRY      GREW SOME GRUE 4124        14   6  0   97 OLD SCHOOL (368)
LUNGING ATTACK   HOLY SCHLITZ 4052          17  10  2   99 OLD SCHOOL (368)
STRIKING ATTACK  FLUTTERLEE 4153             8   7  0   71 WANDERERS (329)
SLASHING ATTACK  THE VEAL DEAL 4104         13   7  0   67 GLAD TO MEAT YOU (370)
PARRY-RIPOSTE    LURLINE GRACE 4164          6   3  0   36 WANDERERS (329)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is THE VEAL DEAL 4104.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was OSTRICH 3970.  The ten other most popular fighters were THE VEAL DEAL 4104, 
SCHLITZ 4052, SWAN 4107, FALCON 4004, SATURN 3990, and RUBIX CUBESTEAK 4165.

The least popular fighter this week was GREW SOME GRUE 4124.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were CUDDLY KAHLUA 4139, OSPRY 3988, PARNIAN 4138, JEHU 3963, MAGGOT 
and SWAN 4107.