Date   : 08/07/2012    Duedate: 08/20/2012


DM-41    TURN-646

This Weeks Top Honors



Chartered Recognition LeaderUnchartered Recognition Leader

                               SHEWISH BUFFET (410)
                               (41-4579) [4-1-0,39]

Popularity Leader              This Weeks Favorite

WANDERERS (329)                I C DRUNK PEOPLE (352)
(41-4520) [17-17-0,68]         (41-3947) [11-3-0,93]



Team Name                  Point Gain  Chartered Team
1. LAZY SUNDAY (411)           49
2. I C DRUNK PEOPLE (352)      18      LADY OF THE MOON (330)
3. SHEWISH BUFFET (410)        13      Unchartered Team
4. LADY OF THE MOON (330)      11
5. DA DOG POWNDAZ (111)         0      LAZY SUNDAY (411)

The Top Teams

Career Win-Loss Record           W   L  K    %  Win-Loss Record Last 3 Turns    W  L K
 1/ 0*LAZY SUNDAY (411)          3   0  0  100   1/ 1 WANDERERS (329)           6  9 0
 2/ 1 LADY OF THE MOON (330)    59  34  3 63.4   2/ 0*LAZY SUNDAY (411)         3  0 0
 3- 2 DA DOG POWNDAZ (111)     409 360 28 53.2   3- 3 THE PLAGUE (93)           3  2 0
 4- 3 THE PLAGUE (93)          414 370 24 52.8   4/ 2*SHEWISH BUFFET (410)      3 10 0
 5/ 4 WANDERERS (329)          811 864 17 48.4   5/ 5 LADY OF THE MOON (330)    2  0 0
 6/ 5 I C DRUNK PEOPLE (352)    18  22  0 45.0   6/ 4 I C DRUNK PEOPLE (352)    1  4 0
 7/ 6*SHEWISH BUFFET (410)       5  17  0 22.7   7- 6 DA DOG POWNDAZ (111)      0  1 0

    '*'   Unchartered team                       '-'  Team did not fight this turn
   (###)  Avoid teams by their Team Id          ##/## This turn's/Last turn's rank

                                    TEAM SPOTLIGHT

                        6 Months Ago -- The Eastern Deserts

     The battlefield was shrouded in darkness, save for the torches carried by a
number of the soldiers and several magical orbs of light, which circled above lazily
at the command of the wizards.  The engagement had been a short one, as three huge,
lumbering Phase Dragons burst from the nearby caverns and ran straight into the fully
prepared army.  The archers took a savage toll on the beasts before the elite
gladiators charged in to finish the fray.  As the soldiers cleared the massive bodies
from the cavern mouth a small group of hooded men gathered a short distance away.
     "There is no question about it.  These are creatures from the Kaikwok Gate."
said Rillion, thoughtfully stroking his short beard. "I just don't understand how
they are accessing our world again despite the gate being completely sealed."
     Alongside the mage, the manager known as The Greek Guy sharpened a gleaming
battle axe.  "The Dark One said something about a rift or tear.  I'm not really up on
Gate Metaphysics, Rill.  All I know is they're here and they shouldn't be."
     "Managerr said they wouldn't be gone long." Added Rascally Rabbit, looking far
more sinister than his manager name implied, "and that we needed to hold this area
until they got back.  So that's what we need to do."
     One of the scouts shouted a brief warning and the soldiers assumed battle
formation once more.  The three arena managers stepped back behind a shield thrown up
by Rillion and prepared for a second engagement.  Within a moment, a snarling wave of
Jaguar warriors erupted from the cavern, pouring out toward the soldiers.
     The Greek Guy took the point and motioned to the troops.  "Move to engage!  Form
up!  Initiate Shield Wall!  Archers, volley fire!"
     A cloud of enchanted arrows hissed into the night, and then descended to shower
death upon the charging Jaguar warriors.  Scores of the beast men went down under the
fire but it was just a small fraction of their overall numbers.  Within a moment the
first ranks of the jaguars leapt upon the prepared troops, tearing and rending with
their razor sharp talons and fangs.  Despite the massive numbers, the shield wall
held, and the gate beasts seemed to be taking the worst of the exchange.  After a
moment, however, the Jaguar Warriors found some holes in the ranks and burst through,
creating havoc amongst the defenders.
     "Second line-- advance!  First line-- fall back!"
     The first defensive line fell back in an organized retreat, while a second wave
of defenders moved up.  Within a moment, they formed up to from a second defensive
line, while those formerly in the front line moved back to regroup.  At the same
time, another wave of arrows showered from the sky and cut down the confused Jaguar
     "We learned a lot from the first Gate incursion." Rillion commented to RR.  "The
Jaguar Warriors can be a terror one on one, but they don't fight well in organized
battles.  Those enchanted arrows help a lot, too.  One shot, one kill."
     Despite the confident words, the Jaguars were inflicting a savage toll on the
soldiers.  It was true, that the majority of the troops were gladiators and former
gladiators who were now protected by immortality magic, but still if they were
consumed by the Gate monsters, there would be no return.  As the battle raged, it
became clear that there were too many Jaguar warriors for the small army to defeat.
Rillion flicked his staff and sent a fireball into the Jaguar's flank.  It erupted
into a flaming explosion of heat and pressure, sending scores of the beast men
flying.  As he did so, the Rabbit gathered a nearby troop and rushed to cut off a
Jaguar offensive.
     The Greek Guy motioned for the trumpeters to sound the retreat.  "Back up the
hill!  Form defensive units.  Skirmishers forward to slow the advance."
     "This is not going well." Rillion commented as he blasted away a row of Jaguars
with a bolt of lightning.
     As he prepared a second bolt, he noticed a large vortex opening nearby.  A
travelling Gate was being opened.  Which meant either more Jaguars, or...?
     A second small army of heavily armored gladiator-soldiers appeared.  At their 
head rode Managerr, on a white stallion, and the Dark One, on his black gelding.
They motioned and their warriors charged into the Jaguar Warriors flank.  The numbers
now more even, the first army charged down the hill.  Within minutes the Jaguar
forces were destroyed.  Only a handful survived to flee back into the cavern.
     "Good timing."  Rascally Rabbit chuckled, his eyebrow arched, "You couldn't have
arrived just a touch sooner?"
     "It took us a while to scout out the ruins of our old training grounds on the
other side of the Kaikwok Gate." Managerr responded, "We stopped by to gather the
second division, as we thought we might need the manpower.  Apparently we were right.
The other side of the old Gate is completely empty.  They are all gone."
     "Gone?  There were millions of beings on that world.  You're telling me that
they're all gone?"
     The Dark One waved his staff and a vision of the Kaikwok Gate world appeared.
It was decimated.  Forests burned and blasted, temples shattered, riverbeds and lakes
dried up and shriveled.  "As he said.  All gone.  We detected residual magic.  Gate
magic.  I am not certain if it was left from an invader that came, exterminated that
world and enslaved what was left of the population or possibly the denizens of that
world developed Gate travel on its own and departed a dying world.  We have no way of
knowing which is the case."
     The Greek Guy received a message from one of the army runners, read it quickly
and motioned to his fellows.  "The engineers are ready."
     He motioned to a figure high up on the cliffside above the cave.  In a moment, a
thunderous explosion shook the ground.  Instantly a shower of boulders, shards of
stone and dirt rained down, burying the cavern opening under half the mountainside.
     Rillion nodded.  "That will do for this Gate access, but I expect there will be

           Three Months Ago -- The Dark Citadel -- Isle of of the Eye

     The Brotherhood of the Blade sat around the titanic obsidian table where they
often planned and plotted together.  This occasion was more serious, however, than
their usual debates over gladiatorial tactics and battle plans.  They were instead
embroiled in a lengthy discourse regarding the ongoing Gate incursions that had been
     "Sheila and her mage council can't figure out how to stop it." Managerr noted.
     "Sheila?"  The Greek Guy chuckled, "First name basis now, are we?"
     Managerr smirked at him.  "They can close the Gate opening when they find it,
but then another one opens somewhere else within a few days.  At some point they are
going to get access in a remote area and we won't find it in time.  If they can move
in a large force, it will be next to impossible to beat them back and close the
access.  It will be a mess."
     "And we still have no idea who is behind this and what's going on." Rillion
     "What we do know is that we don't have enough days in the week to keep running
around closing gates and fighting battles.  We're shorthanded.  Zalgor's missing in
action and Caesar is off-world fighting wars of his own.  Without their forces it's
even worse."  Rascally Rabbit shuffled through his roster.  "I've lost 15% of my
personal troops and I know you all have suffered losses as well."
     Managerr agreed.  "We're definitely short on members.  Mad Max and Tig Toad are
retired.  With Zalgor inactive and Caesar battling Picts or whatnot, we are at five
members.  Just barely enough in normal times and way short in these times."
     "We need to recruit some new members." The Greek Guy stated.  "We have a
tournament coming up and can talk to some managers there.  We need to find those who
are like-minded and who would get along with the rest of us, which is not always
     "Agreed." said the Dark One from beneath his cowl, "We can then announce our new
members.  We need more men and more troops.  I think we all have some candidates in
mind.  First, they must have no other allegiances.  Second, they must have the
martial knowledge we expect from our members.  And, the Greek Guy mentioned, they
have to be able to deal with us."

                        Present Day -- the Isle of the Eye
     One of the arena scribes rushed into the GC headquarters.  "We need 100 runners
to travel to every city in the land.  We're being paid 1,000 gold sovereigns to get
the news out!"
     "What news?"
     "The Brotherhood of the Blade is expanding!!  Here is the announcement!"
              *****                   *****                   *****
     Hear Ye!  Hear Ye!  The Brotherhood of the Blade has chosen to add the following
new members to our ranks.  Effective immediately, the following managers have been
offered and have accepted membership to the Brotherhood:

May their successes be great and their victories many under our banner!

     Officially -- Managerr -- Grand High Moose of the Brotrotherhood of the Blade

       * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ * }%|[-----+O+-----]|%{ *

                          ---===ANDORIAN REGIONAL NEWS===---

 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 351): IMA SLAYER of YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 703): SEVEN WIT of WRATHMEN DM 20 (Kharadmon, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 703): FAITH of ZOMBIE SQUAD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 688): ROMO of SERPENTS HOLD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 690): WWC of WRESTLING (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 687): VOLDEMORT of SAY MY NAME (Howlin' Wolf, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 684): BETTEY DECKER of GOLDEN CANYON (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 685): PROFESSOR PUTT of LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 648): PRINCESS BUBBLEGUM of ADVENTURE TIME 2 (Muffin Man, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 645): STRAY CAT of WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 636): SHELLEY ANN of FANDILS (Wise Old Fandil, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 298): ANASTASIUS of DARQUE AGES (Master Darque, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 530): KUNG PAO KOLACTAN of SHEWISH BUFFET (One Armed Bandit)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 252): B'ZIADUL of WRATHMEN XIV (Kharadmon, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 588): GAMBIT of ZOMBIE SQUAD (Khisanth, mgr.)

                                      Top Teams
 DM   8 ARKERS (turn 351): YOU PAY I SLAY (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 703): THE JOKER'S WILD (Sir Jessie Jest, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 703): THE DOGHOUSE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  22 SOLVEN (turn 688): MIDDLE WAY 15 (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 690): KRILL CAVALRY (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  25 LYRATILAN (turn 687): SAY MY NAME (Howlin' Wolf, mgr.)
 DM  26 CALEAM (turn 684): WRATHMEN (Kharadmon, mgr.)
 DM  30 IAYE (turn 685): LENPROS (Lenpro, mgr.)
 DM  40 ZENSU (turn 648): BEYOND THE PALE (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 645): WANDERERS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 636): BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 298): FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 530): WRATHMEN (Kharadmon, mgr.)
 DM  71 KYR'TERR (turn 252): ARENAS III (Kharadmon?, mgr.)
ADM 105 ANDORAK (turn 588): SUPERIOR FORCES (Manager, mgr.)

                                   Recent Graduates
 DM  11 ARUAK CITY (turn 703): SEVEN WIT of WRATHMEN DM 20 (Kharadmon, mgr.)
                   (turn 702): BLOOD MONKEY of SNUGGLEBUNNIES (Otto X, mgr.)
 DM  14 TOBIR (turn 703): FAITH of ZOMBIE SQUAD (Khisanth, mgr.)
 DM  24 ZORPUNT (turn 690): WWC of WRESTLING (Sherlock, mgr.)
 DM  41 KATI-TEI (turn 645): CIRCE of LADY OF THE MOON (LHI, mgr.)
 DM  46 ARDIVENT (turn 635): MARCI FOOTE of BLUVALLEY WARRIORS (Jorja, mgr.)
 DM  52 FRATSFA (turn 297): SAVAGE SNOWBALL of FLOWER GIRLS (Lady Fern, mgr.)
 DM  63 AMEN-TEI (turn 529): LILLY SCOOTER of WAYFARERS (Jorja, mgr.)

                                 DUELMASTER'S COLUMN
                             Notes from the arena champ.

     Jack Daniels?  Not my kind of drink.  I like milk.  Yeah, I know, not a tough-
guy drink.  Sue me.  I'm tough enough.

                                    Stray Cat

                                      SPY REPORT

     The sages err'd not in their foretelling of a god descending upon KATI-TEI, for 
I, Novgorodny Vir, have returned!  Like a new team fighting for the first time and 
entering the official rankings, LAZY SUNDAY got 3-0-0 to come in 2nd.  LAZY SUNDAY 
had cause to celebrate, after MAGNOLIA got 19 points by beating HOSTESS CUPCAKE.  Win 
some, lose some.  Speaking of which, JACK DANIELS was winsome, after beating 
LOOSEFOOT LARUE and seeing him lose 11 points.  In KATI-TEI, nothing is permanent 
(except Death), and we find ourselves a new Duelmaster, CIRCE.  So who was the 
warrior seen charging into immovable walls and challenging dead trees?  Someone's got 
a basic problem...   
     So much to report, so little time!   
     Like the wind whispering among the pines, do hearest I many disquieting rumors.  
Ask not a spymaster for counsel, for he will pontificate long after you have fallen 
into an unconscious stupor.   
     Do not think spyreporting in KATI-TEI is the highlight of my life.  Keep those 
sands bloody and the buzzards fat!  Can anything compare to the pleasure of writing 
Spyreports for KATI-TEI?  On that giddy note I take my leave-- Novgorodny Vir  

CHALLENGER CHAMPIONS           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-UBBA-SATHLA 4438             18  15  0   103       THE PLAGUE (93)
 STRAY CAT 4510               16  25  0    93       WANDERERS (329)
-DIANA 3674                   11   7  1    93       LADY OF THE MOON (330)
 JACK DANIELS 3947            11   3  0    93       I C DRUNK PEOPLE (352)

CHAMPIONS                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-N'KAI 4477                   12   9  0    82       THE PLAGUE (93)
-HECATE 3741                   8   6  0    74       LADY OF THE MOON (330)
 GAY DECEIVER 4536            16   9  0    71       WANDERERS (329)
 LOOSEFOOT LARUE 4534         16   9  0    69       WANDERERS (329)
 DANCING SHADOW 4520          17  17  0    68       WANDERERS (329)

CHALLENGER ADEPTS              W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-TRIPLE DAWG DARE 4535        12   8  0    66       DA DOG POWNDAZ (111)

ADEPTS                         W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-AKITA 4554                    7   6  0    49       DA DOG POWNDAZ (111)
-WAY OF THE WICKED 4495        8   8  0    48       THE PLAGUE (93)
-ANNA MAHL LAY 4553            7   5  0    39       DA DOG POWNDAZ (111)
 TOP ELF LIQUOR 4579           4   1  0    39       SHEWISH BUFFET (410)

CHALLENGER INITIATES           W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
 RAMBLING ROSE 4572            4   8  1    27       WANDERERS (329)
-PRIME TIME POOCH 4564         4   2  0    26       DA DOG POWNDAZ (111)

INITIATES                      W   L  K POINTS      TEAM NAME                  
-SANTA? 4537                   3   1  0    23       I C DRUNK PEOPLE (352)
-VICTIM OF CHANGE 4548         4   0  0    20       THE PLAGUE (93)
 MAGNOLIA 4586                 1   0  0    19       LAZY SUNDAY (411)
 GHOST LIKE SWAYZE 4584        1   0  0    15       LAZY SUNDAY (411)
 DOUBLE TRUE 4585              1   0  0    15       LAZY SUNDAY (411)
-BEER GOGGLES 4538             3   1  0    11       I C DRUNK PEOPLE (352)
-WILD TURKEY 4582              1   1  0    10       I C DRUNK PEOPLE (352)
 HOSTESS CUPCAKE 4600          1   1  0     8       SHEWISH BUFFET (410)
-LEFT 4 DEAD 4526              0   7  0     7       THE PLAGUE (93)

'-' denotes a warrior who did not fight this turn.

THE DEAD                W  L K TEAM NAME            SLAIN BY              TURN Revenge?
BREAKFAST 4615          0  1 0 SHEWISH BUFFET 410   ARENAMASTER JAIL      646  NONE
DINNER 4617             0  1 0 SHEWISH BUFFET 410   MOUNTAIN TROLL        646  NONE
LUNCH 4616              0  1 0 SHEWISH BUFFET 410   BANDIT PRINCE         646  NONE

                                     PERSONAL ADS

Woohoo! -- Top Elf Liquor

He's probably drunk again. -- Hostess Cupcake

Of course we welcome Hostess Cupcake.  One of our favorites. -- Jorja and the
P.S.  And the Friendly Constable seems to have liked her, too.

Our congratulations to Circe. -- Jorja and the Wanderers

She was a Concubine, but was she REALLY Virginal? -- Loosefoot Larue

     She is the Concubine we have.

Fascinating, the Khalhums Dwarf tramples all over my feet in his steel-toed
boots, and the fans loved it?  That's almost insulting. -- Dancing Shadow

The Kung-Fu Master TRICKED me!  He came out empty handed, smiling, offered to
shake hands with me, and then he ripped my arm off! -- Gay Deceiver

Top Elf Liquor -- Ooooh!  My poppa told me that if I stuck to the good stuff, I
wouldn't get a hangover.  Did he lie, or are you not as good as you tasted right
off? -- Rambling Rose

                                  LAST WEEK'S FIGHTS

BREAKFAST was butchered by ARENAMASTER JAILON in a 1 minute bloody Dark Arena fight.
LUNCH was slaughtered by BANDIT PRINCE in a 1 minute gruesome Dark Arena battle.
DINNER was murdered by MOUNTAIN TROLL in a 1 minute Dark Arena fight.
STRAY CAT was vanquished by CIRCE in a 2 minute gory mismatched brawl.
DANCING SHADOW was overpowered by KUNG-FU MASTER in a 2 minute mismatched match.
JACK DANIELS devastated LOOSEFOOT LARUE in a 1 minute one-sided duel.
GAY DECEIVER devastated TOP ELF LIQUOR in a 1 minute mismatched match.
RAMBLING ROSE was handily defeated by RUTHLESS JAYWALKER in a 1 minute uneven fight.
HOSTESS CUPCAKE was vanquished by MAGNOLIA in a 1 minute gruesome uneven duel.
DOUBLE TRUE overpowered POLITE BEGGAR in a 1 minute uneven duel.
GHOST LIKE SWAYZE overpowered POLITE BEGGAR in a 1 minute one-sided fight.

                                    BATTLE REPORT

             MOST POPULAR                        RECORD DURING THE LAST 10 TURNS     
|FIGHTING STYLE               FIGHTS        FIGHTING STYLE     W -   L -  K   PERCENT|
|LUNGING ATTACK                   5         AIMED BLOW        15 -   7 -  0      68  |
|AIMED BLOW                       3         LUNGING ATTACK    18 -  13 -  0      58  |
|PARRY-STRIKE                     2         WALL OF STEEL      7 -   6 -  0      54  |
|PARRY-RIPOSTE                    2         PARRY-RIPOSTE      5 -   9 -  0      36  |
|SLASHING ATTACK                  1         STRIKING ATTACK    5 -  13 -  0      28  |
|STRIKING ATTACK                  1         SLASHING ATTACK    2 -   6 -  0      25  |
|WALL OF STEEL                    1         TOTAL PARRY        1 -   5 -  0      17  |
|PARRY-LUNGE                      0         PARRY-STRIKE       0 -   3 -  0       0  |
|BASHING ATTACK                   0         PARRY-LUNGE        0 -   5 -  0       0  |
|TOTAL PARRY                      0         BASHING ATTACK     0 -   5 -  0       0  |

Turn 646 was great if you     Not so great if you used      The fighting styles of the
used the fighting styles:     the fighting styles:          top eleven warriors are:

SLASHING ATTACK    1 -  0     AIMED BLOW         1 -  2         3  LUNGING ATTACK 
LUNGING ATTACK     4 -  1     PARRY-LUNGE        0 -  0         2  WALL OF STEEL  
                              PARRY-STRIKE       0 -  2         2  STRIKING ATTACK
                              PARRY-RIPOSTE      0 -  2         2  AIMED BLOW     
                              STRIKING ATTACK    0 -  1         1  PARRY-LUNGE    
                              BASHING ATTACK     0 -  0         1  SLASHING ATTACK
                              TOTAL PARRY        0 -  0     
                              WALL OF STEEL      0 -  1     

                               TOP WARRIOR OF EACH STYLE

FIGHTING STYLE   WARRIOR                     W   L  K PNTS TEAM NAME                  
AIMED BLOW       JACK DANIELS 3947          11   3  0   93 I C DRUNK PEOPLE (352)
LUNGING ATTACK   GAY DECEIVER 4536          16   9  0   71 WANDERERS (329)
WALL OF STEEL    LOOSEFOOT LARUE 4534       16   9  0   69 WANDERERS (329)
Note: Warriors have a winning record and are an Adept or Above.

The overall popularity leader is DANCING SHADOW 4520.  The most popular warrior this 
turn was JACK DANIELS 3947.  The ten other most popular fighters were GAY DECEIVER 

The least popular fighter this week was HOSTESS CUPCAKE 4600.  The other ten least 
popular fighters were RAMBLING ROSE 4572, TOP ELF LIQUOR 4579, LOOSEFOOT LARUE 4534, 

The following warriors have traveled to AD after fighting this turn:

CIRCE (41-3740) LADY OF THE MOON (330)